The Brave Ambition
by Alli97nomel
Summary: Maybe they just need each other, maybe they were meant to be even though everyone might think differently. Maybe they're just in love and maybe they just want to be together forever and is that really too much to ask? "I have always loved you, I never stopped! And I never will!" Harry said before taking a step forward and closing the gap between them that he decided would never be
1. The First Night In a Long Time

**THE BRAVE AMBITIONS  
>THE CUNNING NERVE<strong>

"Don't get me wrong," said Ron who was lounging across the couch "I'm glad mum let us three stay here for the holidays, but…"  
>"There are a lot of memories here," Finished Hermione softly. It was true, thought Harry. He glanced around at the old bedroom, who it had once belonged to Harry did not know. He wished Sirius were still here to share it with him no matter how insignificant.<br>"I'm going to bed H-Harry," yawned Hermione "come on." She said tugging at Ron's sleeve gently. Ron lugged off the couch tiredly. He and Hermione walked towards the door but just as they were about to leave Hermione turned around to face Harry, "Are you _sure_ you'll be alright?"  
>Ron rolled his eyes at the concern in Hermione's voice, "Leave the man alone Hermione." He reached for the door handle, "'Night Harry."<br>"'Night." Harry replied as the door closed shut with a soft 'click'.  
>Harry looked around the bedroom. The lamps were still shining brightly. Harry eyed the burgundy velvet bed, the long cream coloured couch and the old red arm chair Hermione was sitting in before. It was late; almost eleven o'clock. He stood up and retrieved his wand from the dusty wooden bedside table and twirled it in his hand playfully, considering it with an air of teasing.<br>All of a sudden he threw his head back and laughed out loud into the empty space.  
>With a grin on his face he said "Oh alright!" as if addressing the wall "Muffliato!"<p>

As the spell sealed the room from being heard on the outside, the person in the corner pulled off the Invisibility Cloak, letting it fall elegantly to the floor.  
>"Finally!" exclaimed Draco Malfoy who looked extremely annoyed. Harry just laughed at the blond. Draco narrowed his eyes at Harry.<br>"It's _not_ funny!" he huffed "I've had a horrible night."  
>Harry shook his head as his grin broadened "Let me guess," he said trying to keep a straight face "you misplaced your conditioner and you're having a bad hair day?"<br>Draco glared at Harry "Firstly," he began putting as much contempt into his voice as possible "I had to practically rip my mother off my arm tonight. I told her I was that I was going to visit my girlfriend–"  
>"–oh yes, I can see how that killed you," laughed Harry "since you're the effeminate one."<br>Draco was sorely tempted to stick out his tongue "Fuck you," Draco said airily as he couldn't contradict harry, it _was_ true.  
>"Soon," winked Harry. Draco ignored him and continued.<br>"_Then_ I had to _Apperate _here," Draco shuddered evidently repulsed "and you know I hate Apperating."  
>"Because it messes up your hair, sweetheart?" teased Harry as he sat himself down in the arm chair.<br>"Don't get petty with me Potter," Draco retorted "I had to get through all those bloody enchantments you put on this place." Draco allowed a rare pause as he drew breath and then resumed "_and_," he groaned "I had to get up here without Granger knowing."  
>Harry couldn't help it, he laughed at the Slytherin who looked so sincerely serious. Draco was telling Harry all this as if it were some horrible disaster. However he did have to admire his boyfriend's spell work.<p>

"You poor, poor darling," Harry laughed sarcastically "although," Harry grinned "when Ron started talking about Quidditch – I would have given _anything_ to see the look on your face."  
>Draco let out a dramatically irritated sigh. When Ron had begun talking about this year's Gryffindor team Draco was sure the conversation would have lasted past midnight.<br>Draco put his hands on his hips and looked at Harry "I almost ripped off the cloak and demanded sex from you right there and then."  
>Harry rolled his eyes playfully "Yes, because that would have worked out well for everyone. You're so impatient."<br>"I haven't seen you in over a month." Draco reasoned and Harry realised just how happy he was to see him. Harry got up from his armchair and walked over to Draco, rapping his arms around him and pulled him close.  
>"I've missed you." Harry said quietly, all pretenses aside now.<br>Draco leaned forward and gently brushed Harry's lips with his own. Harry could feel Draco's warm breath on his lips. They continued like this, barely touching until Harry closed the fractional gap between them hungrily and kissed Draco. God how he had missed this, the feel of Draco's mouth against his the way their tongues fought for dominance, the way he tasted.  
>Draco broke away for air, "I've missed you too, Harry."<br>Harry's green eyes found Draco's grey ones and they stayed like this for a while, locked into a soul-deep gaze.  
>"Eye fuck me later, fuck me now." said Draco at last.<br>Harry was more than happy to comply "You're an impatient little ferret, Draco Malfoy." chuckled Harry.  
>"No," said Draco seductively "I'm <em>you're <em>impatient little ferret."  
>Harry pushed Draco against the wall forcefully, with one hand still around Draco's waist and one hand on the wall.<br>"Ow!" Draco moaned "That hurt."  
>Harry leaned forward and sucked on Draco's earlobe making him quiver slightly in response. "Do you want me to fuck you or to make love to you?" whispered Harry openly near Draco's ear "You can't have both."<br>A tingling sensation ran down Draco's spine causing him to grind his hips against Harry's. He shut his eyes and breathed out hard into Harry's neck.

"Fuck me," he groaned "fuck me now."  
>He didn't need to be told twice, he raced to unbutton Draco's shirt and threw it into a crumpled heap on the floor. Harry rand his hands down Draco's smooth, pale chest. Draco goose bumped as a light shiver rippled across his chest. Harry kissed along his jaw line and began to lick his name down his bare neck.<br>_D_…_R_…Draco groaned as he hardened while Harry thrust against his aching cock which was imprisoned by his pants…_A…_…_C…_..._O_.  
>He grabbed Harry's shirt and pulled it up over Harry's head eagerly and threw it over in the corner. In one fluid motion Draco spun around and now had Harry against the wall. Draco bent down slightly and licked around Harry's nipple before biting down on it roughly.<br>"Merlin Draco!"Yelled Harry as Draco smirked cockily.

Suddenly everything was his lips; Harry hadn't seen Draco for almost two months. The way he had missed kissing Draco, words escaped Harry. Such a simple but powerful act had rapidly become a necessity. He kissed Draco impatiently and hungrily. It felt like drinking water after a week stranded in a desert or taking that first gasp of oxygen after being underwater for too long. The way their lips moved together, the way their tongues battled for deeper space – made Harry want Draco even more.

"I'm going to fuck you so hard Draco Malfoy." Panted Harry in between desperate kisses "I'm going to fuck your arse so hard that you won't remember your own name."  
>"Make me scream your name when I cum," moaned Draco. These words went straight to Harry's cock and it strained against Harry's jeans creating a visible bulge.<br>"You hard for me baby?" crooned Draco his voice seemed to vibrate the air which was already thick with animalistic desire.  
>Harry grabbed Draco's hand and pulled it down to his aching erection.<br>"Feel this?" breathed Harry into Draco's ear "it's all for you."  
>Draco squeezed Harry threw his jeans causing Harry to shut his eyes and thrust Draco's hand. Darcp was breathing hard and Harry was driving him crazy.<br>"Harry," Draco chocked out "If you don't fuck me in the next 30 seconds I'll –"  
>Harry didn't let Draco finish. He reached for his wand and pointed to Draco's pants "Evanesco!"<br>Draco's pants, shoes and socks vanished.

"Oh God," moaned Harry "you're not wearing any underwear." His own pulsating cock strained against its captivity in response.  
>"Early birthday present," chuckled Draco, please with Harry's reaction "I get mine tonight." He added as he reached for his Hawthorn wand and preformed a non-verbal spell directed at Harry's jeans and the rest of his clothing which vaporized from sight and reappeared in a neat pile in the far corner of the room with the rest of the boy's disheveled clothes.<br>Draco looked at Harry's cock compellingly.  
>"Happy birthday," said Harry now looking across at the body he had gone without for so long.<br>"But seriously, I wish I could have celebrated it with you Draco." Harry said honestly, feeling a little sad and guilty about not being able to share his boyfriend's birthday with him even though it had been literally impossible.  
>Draco placed his hands around Harry's neck, pulling him close so that their noses were touching. "Be with me now." He breathed.<br>Without warning, Harry felt the familiar sensation of being squeezed through a thick rubber tube, that he was suffocating and then –

-He and Draco appeared on the large bed "You had to Apperate?" gasped Harry who was gasping for air "You couldn't have walked five steps to the bed?"  
>"I like my men breathless," winked Draco as he straddled Harry.<br>"God Draco," Harry whimpered as Draco bucked against him. A thought dawned in Harry's mind as he became unbelievably harder as cocks rubbed together – how had Harry gone without this for more than for more than two days let alone more than a month?  
>"Do you want top or bottom?" asked Harry moving his hands up and down Draco's chest.<br>"Bottom," replied Draco.  
>"Really?" Harry asked surprised. Harry almost always topped but would have thought Draco would have wanted to top since Harry was offering. Not that Harry mined in the slightest.<br>"I said I wanted you to fuck me Potter," drawled Draco "I meant it in the literal sense."  
>"God I've missed you, I'm going to pound into you Malfoy, your arse will be so sore that you won't be able to walk tomorrow."<br>At these words Draco became impossibly harder.  
>"Harry I want you inside me," he half begged "make me scream, make me cum."<br>With his hands still on Draco's chest he rolled him to the side and underneath himself. Harry reached for his wand and pointed it to Draco's entrance and muttered "Lubrico!"  
>Draco bit his lip and let out a long, beautiful moan as the lubricant lined and relaxed him inside.<br>Harry then preformed the lubricating charm on his own throbbing cock. A thought abruptly occurred to him as his positioned the tip of his dick against Draco's arse.

"How bad do you want me?" He purred.  
>Draco's heart was throwing itself against his ribs and he breathed shallowly, desperate for Harry to fill him. "So bad," cried Draco "Harry please fuck me, <em>please!<em>"  
>"Tell me what you want." murmured Harry.<br>Draco's neglected cock was almost touching his stomach "I'm so hard for you and you haven't even touched me." whined Draco.  
>"Tell me what you want." repeated Harry.<br>"I want you to fill me up and fuck me hard!" Draco all but screamed. Harry was driving him insane – he could imagine the feeling when Harry would start to pound into him, it frustrated him to the point of incoherency that he couldn't have it.  
>I'm getting off tonight one way or another, thought Draco. He put his hand around his own cock and began to thrust up and down.<br>But Harry would have none of this "Oh no you don't!" With a flick of his wand thick ropes wound themselves tightly around Draco's wrists and entwined through a few of the bed rails at head of the bed.  
>"Ughh," Draco pulled against his restraints but with no avail. He looked reproachfully at Harry.<br>"Harry what are you doing?" the crazed gleam in Draco's eyes was pushing Harry to the brink.  
>"You want me to fuck you?" Harry questioned looking into the grey eyes of the Slytherin who whimpered underneath him with his hands tied together and above his head with the ropes.<br>"Yes!" Tears now glazed over Draco's eyes magnifying the lust and longing within them.  
>"You want me to pound into you, hitting that sweet spot <em>over<em> and _over_ and _over_?"  
>"God yes," cried Draco "<em>Please!<em> Put your dick inside me!" Harry watched as his chest rose and fell rapidly with exertion.  
>"You want me to make you scream? You want me to make you cum the hardest you've ever cum in your life?"<br>"_Harry please!_" begged Draco "I'm _yours_! I only belong to _you_! _Fuck me so hard that I forget nothing but your name when I scream it_."  
>There was no gentleness, no easing in slowly. Harry entered Draco in was smooth motion and flicked his wand so that the roped binding Draco's hands disappeared.<br>"_Oh fuck!_" screamed Draco as his eyes screwed shut tight in pleasure.  
>Harry, who was on his knees, lifted Draco's legs up and rested the on his own shoulders where Draco crossed them pulling Harry closer so that Harry leaned forward and put his hands on the bed on either sides of Draco's chest.<br>"Draco, you're so tight." panted Harry. He began thrusting in and out of Draco. Harry considered going agonizingly slow just to tease the blonde but he realised that he wouldn't be lasting much longer himself. If Draco wanted it hard and fast, that's what he was going to get. Harry thrusted into Draco harder and harder, going faster each time.  
>"Shit yes," Draco cried "fuck Harry that feels so g-good!"<br>Harry knew he was hitting the spot that drove Draco crazy, he continued to hit it again and again.  
>"Ugghh," Harry moaned. He let his head drop down as he pounded into Draco with everything that he had. It felt so good, after all this time.<br>Draco's head was thrashing from side to side, he looked so far gone. It turned Harry on like hell that only he could give Draco this, and no one else – Draco was _his_.

"Ahhh!" Harry groaned "Draco – f-fuck!"  
>"Yes, Yes! Pl… Pl.. Pleasssse! Yesssssss!" Draco shouted.<br>Harry continued to thrust into Draco's tight arse and with each thrust grunting in pleasure.  
>"Oh godddd this feels ssoooo good! H-Harry…I-I think I'm…"<br>"You gonna cum for me?" Harry asked he could feel his own orgasm on the brink.  
>"Oh fuck you feel so amazing Draco," Harry cried out. Harry began to feel his stomach start to tense up. He looked down and his cock – he watched it slide in and out of Draco – it was the most erotic thing he had ever seen.<br>"D-Draco," Harry cried "I'm going to cum, cum with me!"  
>Harry grabbed Draco's cock and started pumping it up and down, running his thumb over the head. "Uuh, uhh, ohhh, oh goddddddddd!" Draco was about to explode as Harry thrusted into him and hand fucked him at the same time.<br>Suddenly Draco felt as if a fire had been lit underneath him. His vision became blurry and all he could think of was the feeling of heat erupting with in him.  
>"HARRY!" Draco screamed out "FUCK!" He had never orgasmed this hard in his entire life. His cum spurted onto Harry's chest.<br>Draco's walls began milking Harry's cock and it pushed Harry over the edge.  
>"OH GOD, DRACO! FUCK YES!" Harry called out. He came inside of Draco, shooting into him.<br>He thrust in and out of Draco, riding out his orgasm while he continued jerk off Draco.

Finally, Harry unhooked Draco's legs from around his neck and collapsed onto the bed next to Draco, exhausted.  
>"That-was-a-mazing," panted Harry. He rolled over to face Draco.<br>"I hate you," Draco breathed heavily "how could you tease me like that?"  
>"You loved it," Harry smirked, he knew Draco too well.<br>"Best fuck _ever_," agreed Draco who couldn't help the mischievous grin spread across his face. Draco repositioned himself so that his head was resting on Harry's chest.  
>"I love you," he said, his breathing beginning to stabilize.<br>Harry moved his hand down to Draco's head and stroked his hair tenderly "I love you too," he whispered.  
>Draco breathed in contently, this was perfection.<br>"How long will you stay?" Harry asked ending the silence.  
>"I'll most likely leave before everyone wakes up," Draco sighed, running a finger gently down Harry's leg.<br>"Screw it," said Harry "stay. We'll tell Ron and Hermione in the morning."  
>"The last thing I need is Weasley and Granger knowing."<br>"You could tell Pansy, Crabbe, Goyle," Harry continued "but not your parents – I value my life."  
>Draco laughed; he would rather see Severus Snape in a bikini than admit he was gay to his parents. <em>Especially <em>that he was gay with _Harry Potter_.  
>"I'm not telling anyone," Draco said "anyway," he added "fucking you right under their noses is a massive turn on."<br>Harry laughed at his boyfriend although he had to agree.  
>"Stay," Harry asked again "we could have the whole of July and August together."<br>Draco thought about the impossible possibility.  
>"Think of how much sex we could have…" Harry added seductively.<br>Draco pouted, "."  
>Harry twirled a strand of Draco's blonde hair around his finger gently. He began to feel the waves of sleep crashing down on him.<br>"You locked the door?" Draco asked, killing the silence.  
>"Ssshhhh," complained Harry.<br>"Do you fancy Weasley and Granger catching us both naked together?"  
>Harry reached out blindly for his wand and in three silent waves of it the lamps went out, the door locked and Hominum Revelio Repulsion charm was added to the room along with the Muffliato spell Harry had cast earlier in the evening.<br>"Good night," whispered Draco as he snuggled into the crook in Harry's shoulder and rapped Harry's arm around him.  
>Harry had to suppress a laugh at his boyfriend's affection, Draco was <em>so<em> gay sometimes, but he loved the fact that underneath everything Draco really was a softy.  
>"Good night," Harry whispered back "see you in the morning." Harry's eyes closed and finally gave in to exhaustion.<br>"Maybe you will…" Draco murmured into the silence. Listening to Harry's breathing and feeling his chest fall and rise beside him, Draco, too, drifted to sleep…


	2. The Morning After Alone

**THE MORNING AFTER ALONE **

"Harry!" _Thump! Thump! Thump!  
><em>Harry curled inwards hoping to outline Draco's figure, however Harry only felt the now cold spot Draco had been last night.

"_Harry!_" _Thump! Thump! Thump!_  
>He hadn't expected Draco to stay anyway, oh well. Harry stretched out trying to wake his limbs up and then slumped tiredly back into the warm spot in the bed. Last night had been amazing…<p>

"HARRY!" _THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!_  
>Harry bolted up and for the first time became aware of a shrill voice calling his name and someone knocking deafeningly on his door. He would have opened the door if not for the fact he wasn't wearing anything. He hurriedly reached for his wand and pointed to the wardrobe, "Accio Pajamas!"<br>A pair of shorts and an old t-shirt flew straight at Harry who caught them and quickly put them on.

"_HAR –"_  
>Harry opened the door. There stood a flustered Hermione looking worried and annoyed. Next to her was Ron who like Harry, seemed to have been woken up by Hermione.<p>

"Good morning," Harry said feeling slightly awkward.

"Why is your door locked?" she asked reproachfully. She put her hands on her hips.  
>Harry felt uncomfortable.<p>

'_Funny thing really, I shagged Draco Malfoy last night and didn't really fancy you walking in on us.'_  
>Harry almost sniggered at the thought of Hermione and Ron's reaction to <em>that<em>.  
>"I…" Harry tried to think of something "it made me feel safer."<p>

A blush worked its way up Harry's face. '"_It made me feel safer?" God Harry.'  
><em>Hermione turned to look at Ron with a scowl on her face.

"_See_!" she hissed accusingly and then pointed at Harry as though he was not there. "I _told_ you he shouldn't sleep by himself!"  
>Harry hurried to change her thinking on the matter; not giving Harry his nights alone wouldn't benefit anyone.<p>

"Hermione, I'm fine."

She ignored him. "He's probably having nightmares. He needs friends in times like these. I _told _you, Ron."

Ron rolled his eyes and sighed. Hermione glared at him and hit Ron on the arms lightly as though they were punctuating her words, "Stop. Rolling. Your. Eyes. This. Is. Serious!"

"He just said he was fine, you lunatic!" Ron cried trying to fend Hermione off. "Besides, Harry doesn't want to sleep with me." He turned to look at Harry "Right?" Ron widened his eyes meaningfully at Harry.

"Not in the slightest." He agreed trying to keep a straight face as he considered the other meaning of what Ron had just said. "No offense," Harry said quickly.

"None taken," Ron replied cheerfully.

"Then why was there a silencing charm placed on your door?" Hermione asked suspiciously.

Ron answered before Harry could, "What is this? Twenty questions?"

Hermione rounded on Ron. "If you intend to be an Auror then _you_ should be asking questions like these when things are _suspicious_." She snapped. Ron turned a brilliant shade of red and frowned at her.

"Hermione relax!" Harry said a bit louder than he indented to. "I sleep talk, okay? I didn't want the whole world hearing."  
>Ron's embarrassed frown turned to one of confusion but he was tactful enough not to say anything. Ron had shared a dorm with Harry for six years and Harry sleep talking was a downright lie.<p>

"Well…I…it's…" Hermione was clearly lost for another argument and finally gave up "oh fine! I'm going down to make breakfast!" she sighed exasperatingly and stomped off.  
>Ron waited until Hermione was a good three stair cases away before speaking to Harry.<p>

"You feel unsafe sleeping by yourself and you sleep talk?" Ron asked sarcastically looking at Harry curiously but was giving an are-you-pulling-my-wand look.

"The way I hear it," Harry said slowly, letting the words sink in "your room is pretty full at night already without me there."

Ron blushed a furious magenta. "Meet you down stairs for breakfast?"

"That would be lovely," Harry smiled cheerfully.

Ron walked down the stairs to the kitchen and Harry walked back into his room, closing the door.  
>Harry took off the pajamas he didn't wear to bed and put on a pear or jeans, a top and a green jumper that matched his eyes. He thought about how Ron and Hermione would take the news of him and Draco, he wondered what their reactions would be. Ron would undoubtedly be repulsed. Harry wasn't too sure what Hermione would do but he was sure however that she would inform him that she knew this two months prior and due to her observations she was correct. Harry sighed out loud. That reminded him; he really needed to have a good collection of reasons for locking his door and putting a silencing charm on it or Hermione really would start to look deeper into all of this.<br>Harry turned to look at his reflection in the mirror on the wall.

"Ron, Hermione…" he said firmly to his reflection "I have a boyfriend, it's Draco Malfoy. Yes, I'm gay. Yes, I like a Slytherin. Why? Not only is he incredibly sexy and hot but he cares about me and is actually a good person. I've been fucking him in this house, in my bedroom, right under your noses. If you don't like it, too bad because I have to put up with the knowledge of you two shagging almost every night and not is that disgusting because you're like my brother and sister but it's also straight and that's awkward and gross. I love Draco and he's mine. That blonde, cheeky sex-bomb is mine…Problem?"

Harry glanced at the confident boy in the mirror and wondered when he would introduce him to not only his friends but his school mates and family.

"I wish you could have stayed today," Harry spoke out aloud to the boy Harry knew couldn't hear him. Harry left his room and the door closed shut quietly behind him.

Draco slipped off the invisibility cloak and placed it on the bed.  
>"I did." Draco spoke aloud to the boy Draco knew couldn't hear him.<br>Then he Disapparated.

Draco Apparated with a loud _crack_, into the Malfoy Mansion.  
>He looked around the deserted corridor of the third floor of their house as he quietly slipped upstairs into his bedroom.<p>

What was Draco feeling? He was touched to the core. Harry didn't know that when Draco woke up this morning he couldn't leave, he was compelled to stay. Why? Because the way Harry's fringe fell over his eyes, because on every eleventh breath his right eyelid would twitch slightly, because Harry's face was so angelic and innocent with his glasses off.  
>Draco knew that Harry didn't know that he wasn't present in the room with him. This made Draco drink in every feature of every movement Harry made. Draco wanted see what Harry was like without him there. Was he searching for something? Perhaps.<br>He had suppressed silent laughter at Harry's discomfort and lack of explanation for the locked door or the silencing charm. He had rolled his eyes, like Weasley, at the Mudblood's over protective nature. Though he had felt a twinge of jealousy; Harry was _his_ to look after, not some Muggleborn's.  
>But what Draco had been most surprised about was when Harry spoke to his reflection in the mirror.<p>

'_I have a boyfriend, it's Draco Malfoy.'  
><em>Draco's eyebrows had shot up in surprise – did harry usually talk to himself? Though he loved the title 'Harry Potter's Boyfriend' he thought.

'_Yes, I'm gay.'  
><em>Harry had said this in the same tone one would use when exclaiming 'Yes! I stole the cookie…are we all happy now?' But when Harry said this Draco could almost physically see the weight being lifted off Harry's shoulders. Draco felt the immediate need to want to lift the weight off Harry's shoulders for real.

'_Yes, I like a Slytherin. Why? Not only is he incredibly sexy and hot but he cares about me and is actually a good person.'  
><em>Draco had smirked at being described as thus. When Harry called him a 'good person' Draco had sucked in a sharp breath – there was firmness, a real belief in Harry's voice, as though he were defending Draco.

'_I've been fucking him in this house, in my bedroom, right under your noses.'  
><em>He downright grinned when he heard those words, as they had come from him last night. Last night had been unbelievable…

' _If you don't like it, too bad because I have to put up with the knowledge of you two shagging almost every night and not is that disgusting because you're like my brother and sister but it's also straight and that's awkward and gross.'  
><em>Draco had literally shuddered at these words. Weasley was fairly handsome but defiantly not _shagable_. Granger was pretty, it was true, but Draco had to agree with Harry – Straight? – Disgusting, revolting and horrible.

'_I love Draco and he's mine. That blonde, cheeky sex-bomb is mine…Problem?'  
><em>This was Draco's favourite part. He swallowed as emotion bubbled on the surface of his skin. Harry and Draco had always told one another that they loved each other but this was different. This was…serious. Harry wasn't going to share him with anyone. Draco could have taken offence to this; he could have rounded on Harry and said 'I don't belong to _anyone_, Potter!' But Draco knew Harry. Those words were his unconscious screaming _'I won't let anyone separate me from him.'_

Why couldn't Draco be brave like a Gryffindor and say those things to his friends? Draco knew the answer as soon as the question had entered his mind – because he was a Slytherin. Because he had ambitions and he was determined to keep this relationship wholesome without the opinion of the whole Wizarding world for as long as he could. The thing was, Draco may be the girl in the relationship but he wasn't the open one. Harry was always the one who would push Draco to share his feelings however Draco couldn't help the way he had been raised – he could never be truly open about his emotions. Not like Harry was. Was that something to be admired? Draco frowned slightly as he thought this. It didn't exactly help Harry at Occlemency that was true.

"Draco!"

Draco's door flew open to reveal his pale haired mother looking even more anxious than she usually did.  
>She strutted into his room.<p>

"I would appreciate it if you would knock," Draco said coldly.

"Where have you been?" exclaimed Narcissa, her eyes wide.

"Narcissa?" called a voice from downstairs.

"Draco has returned," she called back "he's up here, Lucius."

Fabulous, Draco simply _loved_ their little family gatherings. He frowned at his mother.

Lucius entered the room and glared at his son, "Where have you been?"

"If you recall," Draco said frostily "yesterday evening I said I was going to visit someone."

"Visiting someone does not take the whole night and most of the morning." Lucius snapped. He glanced stared down at Draco who was sitting on his bed.

Draco stood up, refusing to be intimidated. "I was with a…girl." He felt a little less confident now. He averted his eyes away from his father's.  
>Narcissa continued to remain silent but still watched her son's every move intently.<p>

"A girl?" repeated Lucius incredulously. _No_, thought Draco, _a boy._ He gave his father a sharp nod.

Draco turned to his mother, "You didn't tell him?"

"Certainly I told him." Narcissa said softly. "We were just…" Narcissa looked for the right word.

"Doubtful, suspicious, uncertain?" Draco offered uninterestedly "Unconvinced?"

"And we had every right to be!" hissed Lucius, his eyes becoming slits. "We don't hear from you until the next morning!"

"That was irresponsible Draco." Narcissa told him sternly.

"What were you doing?" His father asked furiously.

Draco simply stared at his father. _Is he serious?_ Thought Draco. He raised his eyebrows, his face clearly indicating surprise at his Father's question. Surely he couldn't be that thick?

"Draco," Lucius tapped his foot impatiently "I asked a question and I expect that you answer it."

"I told you." Draco was feeling more uncomfortable and awkward by the second now that he was aware that his father expected him to answer. "I was with…a girl." Draco tried hard not to wince at the thought however his parents still looked at him expectantly, completely clueless. Draco took a deep breath and sighed. "_With_ a girl." He paused and looked at them in shock, they were actually and completely unaware of the message he was trying to send. Draco ran a hand through his hair in amazement. "Oh Merlin! With a girl _alone_…?"

"Are you two as dull as a pair of Hufflepuffs?" sneered a drawling voice by the door. Draco peered around his father to see who the fourth wheel was.  
>Bellatrix Lestrange stood in the doorway, her curved wand in her hand and her dark hair rippling down her back. Her eyes very heavily lidded and she looked at Draco's parents, thoroughly amused.<br>"Aunty Bella understands sweetie," Bellatrix winked at Draco "Little Draco spent the night with his having _fun_ with his girlfriend. Good shag sweetie?" Bellatrix grinned at him.

This was as much as Draco could take. He stepped around his father and exited the room with haste, his face burning all the while. He could hear his Aunt's cackling laughter at his discomfort, followed him down the hall. If there was one thing Draco didn't do, it was family sharing, especially casually discussing his sex life. He groaned at the thought: 'You know Harry Potter, the one the Dark Lord is after? Oh yes, he's a great fuck. Pass the salt please mother.'

Draco turned a corner and walked into a large dark room. His father's office. How Draco despised the lonely place. It reminded him of how he used to be. Draco walked over to the beech wood desk and found a spare piece of parchment. He began to write:

_To Harry,  
>You'll find what I used back where it belongs.<br>I was welcomed home by a pair of intruding, nosey and angry parents. The interrogation was unpleasant and embarrassing, you would have laughed. My escape route was not an easy one; dearest Aunty wanted a rating on the outcome of our prior activities.  
>The house is too large and cold to be a home.<br>Due to my late return here I'm not sure when I will see you.  
>I can feel you with each step I take.<br>Love,  
>D.<em>

It was true, thought Draco deviously. His arse hurt, but he was used to it. Besides he liked bottoming. He thought back to last night's events…  
>…, <em>'I'm going to pound into you Malfoy, your arse will be so sore that you won't be able to walk tomorrow'<em>  
>He didn't lie, Draco thought whilst laughing quietly.<p>

"Syren," Draco called to the beautiful owl by the window sill. The bird, which very much resembled dark chocolate, flew next to Draco and stuck out its left foot obediently.

"Good boy," Draco stroked the owl's long dark feathers before attaching the note to its foot. He leant down closer the owl, looked meaningfully into its eyes and whispered, "You know who this is for."  
>It wasn't a question but more a firm statement.<p>

"You know where to go." He told the owl as he opened the window wider. With a parting hoot the dark owl left the room and flew away from The Malfoy Mansion.  
>Draco sunk lowly into the chair at the desk. Maybe he would start counting down the days until his holidays re-begun.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Review, review, review! Ideas, suggestions - throw them at me :)<br>Ambra xxx **


	3. An Anticlimax Of A Birthday

It was the 31st of July.

The birds were chirping outside in the streets didn't know this. The sun which had not yet risen did not know this either. Not even the boy with the lighting scar on his head k new this for he was still prisoner to the clutches of sleep.

The dark haired boy slept alone in his bed and little did he know that he was now seventeen. Harry was an adult in the Wizarding world. This added to the miniscule of things he had in common with his boyfriend, Draco Malfoy.

However, Draco Malfoy was one person who knew what day it was. It plagued his unconsciousness. The 31st of July. Harry's birthday. And he could not be there.

It was a fact that Draco Malfoy did not sleep well. Harry often called him the "Insomniac Dragon". Harry laughed at Draco's scowl over the name however whilst he laughed Harry was concerned. He was concerned about the true reason of why Draco never slept well.

Draco always avoided talking about his family or in-depth feelings for that matter. But from what Harry had unearthed, Draco had had a horrible childhood. Harry could tell that Draco had never truly been shown love. Harry would never forget the first time Harry had told Draco that he loved him…

…_Harry's eyes drank Draco's features as his eyes darted from his lips to his legs. _

"_Draco?" Harry whispered. Draco closed his eyes and inhaled deeply; using each other's first names was still both new and it had the most amazing effect.  
>"Hmm?" <em>

_Draco turned to face Harry and begun to slowly run his finger up Harry's thigh leaving a trail of goosebumps. _

"_I love you."_

_Harry had meant to say it quickly but it came out much slower than he had intended.  
>Draco's finger froze on Harry's hip.<br>The words clung in the air like a cloying scent.  
>As the silence continued Harry's heartbeat quickened. He felt nervous and scared about Draco's response. <em>

_Finally, breaking the silence and the tension Harry asked, "Was that the wrong thing to say?"_

_Draco's face was hard and his eyes gazed of into scene that wasn't there, "I don't know."_

"_What do you mean?" Harry frowned, not understanding.  
>Draco just gave a small shake of his head as if to shake off Harry's question. <em>

"_Hold on a second." said Harry as he positioned himself on top of Draco so that the blonde had no other choice but to look at him directly. "Has anyone ever actually told you that they loved you?"_

"_Let it go, Potter." Draco said firmly. Harry flinched a little at being back to second name basis but his eyes widened in shock. _

"_Oh and what?" Draco raised his eyebrows questioningly "The Muggles told you three times a day did they?"_

_Harry dropped the pretense "That's different and you know it."_

"_Is not." Draco said stubbornly. _

"_Stop being a stubborn bitch, Draco." Harry said tightly. His temper was beginning surface. "Your _parents," Harry put emphasis on the word 'parents' just to reinstate his argument "never told you they loved you?"

Draco averted his eyes from Harry's and his lips formed a tight line.

"_Never?" He asked in disbelief. _

"_Of course they have you idiot," Draco said, annoyance in his voice "just not like that."_

"_Well how then?" Harry exclaimed. _

"_You're such a nosey little git, Potter. I hope you know that." Draco informed Harry. _

"_Malfoy," Harry warned, he knew that Draco was trying to avoid the answer. _

"_Fine!" exclaimed Draco a little louder than he planned to. "My parents told me they loved me. Don't look me like that Potter, it's true." Draco chastised when Harry had raised his eyebrows skeptically "My parents always told me they loved me. But not in the way you did. It was always 'mother loves you Draco.' or 'Father and mother love dear.' It was always the third person. It felt…distant. But you," Draco looked at Harry above him "_you_ told _me_." _

_Suddenly Draco looked around the room awkwardly and he looked, well…uncomfortable. And that was the first time Harry realised it. _

"_You don't open up much do you?" Harry asked softly. _

_Draco averted his eyes away from Harry's. He looked vulnerable. Technically Draco _was_ naked, but now he looked exposed in an emotional sense now too. "I've never had a reason to." Draco said quietly. _

"_Well," Harry swallowed and brushed a stand of Draco's blond hair behind his ear "I guess I met Draco tonight. I prefer him over Malfoy."_

_Draco gave a small hollow laugh but then turned serious, "I've never really had a chance to be Draco."_

_Harry nodded. "I won't judge him." He leaned in closer and felt Draco's breath. _

_Draco's breathing quickened, "Why not?"_

"_Because," Harry murmured inching forward slowly "I have something to ask him and I want him not to judge me."_

_Draco swallowed and closed his eyes as he felt Harry's breath centimeters away from his lips.  
>"What's the question?"<em>

"_I love you." Harry said and his voice could have been made out of smoothest of silk. _

_Draco opened his eyes which were glazed over with want, "That's not a question."_

_Harry looked into the grey eyes of the Slytherin beneath him. "Yes it is." _

_The two boys were less than an inch apart. So all it took was for Draco to arch his back slightly and their lips met. The kiss was long and heated. It was slow but that intensified it even more. It left the two boys panting. _

"_I love you too." Draco whispered. _

All Draco wanted to do was to be with Harry. But no. Instead he was stuck in the retreat room of the Mansion with Pansy Parkinson and Blaise Zambini.

"So what do you think Draco?" asked Zambini looking at Draco cautiously.

"Hmm?" He hadn't been paying attention at all.

"What do you think?" Zambini repeated.

"About what?"

"Draco what's with you?" sighed Zambini "Your head's been with the hippogriffs since the end of last year."

Draco just shrugged and looked out the window; he had no intension of talking about anything that would lead to his relationship with Harry.

"What's her name?" Zambini asked with a smirk.

"What?" Pansy snapped "Draco's not seeing anyone." Her pug-like pace was screwed up with worry.

"She doesn't have a name." Draco retorted. It was true, he thought, he wasn't actually seeing a girl.

"See?" Pansy said triumphantly at Blaise. Draco fought the urge to vomit. He'd go out with the giant squid before he would Pansy. Pansy was one of Draco's closest friends but sometimes her obvious infatuation with him made it extremely uncomfortable. "Have you bought your things for Hogwarts Draco?" she asked.

"We've still got a whole month to go Pansy." Zambini pointed out with a roll of his eyes. He obviously found her need to talk to Draco very entertaining.

"Whatever," sneered Pansy.

"What about _you_ Blaise?" asked Draco, trying to move the focus away from himself. "What girl are you seeing _this_ week?" Zambini simply grinned broadly and made an action of locking lips and throwing away an invisible key.

"Blaise!" Pansy whined who was excited at the prospect of unearthing new gossip. "Don't be like that. Oh, tell us what her name is?"

Zambini held up both his hands, palms up, "I promised her I wouldn't tell anybody."

"Meaning: 'I've already told half of Slytherin house.'" guessed Draco.

"Actually, I really haven't told anyone." Zambini confessed to general astonishment.

"I don't know what she's doing, and I do not want to know, but it's keeping you quiet. Full marks to her." Draco congratulated.

"I'm so glad I have your blessing Draco," Zambini laughed "my life was depending on it, I can now continue living in happiness." He smiled teasingly and Draco who gave a little grin as well.

"At least tell us what house she's in." pansy complained as she pulled at Blaise's sleeve.

"If you must know," Blaise sighed in a defeated sort of way "Ravenclaw."

"If you like walking dictionaries." Snorted Pansy.

"You'd be surprised," Blaise grinned "the quiet ones with their heads in books always turn out to be the kinkiest."

"Ugh," Draco shuddered "Zambini, _I_ don't share _that_ part of my life with you so I would appreciate it if you wouldn't discuss _yours_ with _me_."

Zambini laughed, "I'll spare you the details then." Then his face became serious and he asked, "What happened to you Draco? You used to have a line of girls that would stretch out for miles. You'd come back to the common room with a neck full of marks and your shirt on backwards." Pansy shuffled uncomfortably at the topic of Draco's previous girlfriends. Draco swallowed nervously.

"I just…" accepted who he was? Draco would have loved to boast about Harry; talk about how amazing he was in many different ways. It wasn't that Draco didn't enjoy the whole "forbidden love" factor but being open about it would have made it more official. Draco had realised that he went through girl after girl wondering why it meant nothing to him. After all 'making love' wasn't _supposed _to mean something? When he finally discovered that he wasn't attracted to females he realised that there wasn't anything wrong with him, that had come as a relief. But being honest would mean gambling with rejection and disproval and Draco just wasn't willing to risk that. So he simply shrugged, "…changed"

"Why?" inquired at wide-eyed Pansy. Jeez, and he thought Potter was a nosey bitch, Pansy bet him by a kilometer and a half. What was he supposed to say, 'Oh you know, it all came down to me liking guys.'? No, he couldn't tell his friends. Harry was right, for a change that was, Harry's friends and their bloody Gryffindor qualities were the kind of people to tell. Draco's friends on the other hand, were not.  
>Draco's eyes winded slightly as he surprised himself by actually thinking that. It wasn't that Slytherin's didn't trust each other, okay well maybe it was, but in Slytherin house you always watched your own back first.<p>

"Just drop it you two." Draco hissed, using anger to cover his obvious discomfort.

Pansy's lip trembled slightly and she said with a minor whimper in her voice, "I'm sorry Draco." Footsteps came from the hall as Narcissa Malfoy entered the room, her long blonde hair swaying behind her. "I am very sorry to interrupt." she said politely to the trio.

"It's fine mother." Draco replied airily, glad for the distraction.

"Blaise, Pansy," she said looking at the two on the opposite couch to her son "will you both be staying for dinner tonight?"

Blaise spoke as Pansy's delight rendered her momentarily speechless, "That would be lovely Mrs. Malfoy, thank you."

Narcissa gave a small nod, "So I assume that you will both be staying for the night?" Draco's head snapped around to look at his mother, _what?_

"I'm sure Zambini and Pansy are busy mother," Draco said tightly in a take-a-hint tone. However, Pansy, who would be completely oblivious to a hint even if it was flashing bin neon lights beamed at the offer, "Oh no, I'm very available."

Zambini nudged Pansy playfully, "I wouldn't usually stay…" he looked over at Pansy and gave her a sugary smile which couldn't be a good sign "but, I simply _couldn't_ leave Pansy on her _own_ _with Draco._ Honestly," Zambini scolded himself feigningly "what sort of a friend would I be?" Pansy glared at Zambini who knew full well of her fixation of Draco.

"Very well," Narcissa said giving her tight version of a smile "I will send an owl to both your parents to notify them." Draco mentally groaned in frustration; now he would never get to Harry tonight.

Harry awoke to loud whispers coming from outside his door.  
>"I can't!" whispered Ron "I'm holding the cake!"<p>

"Shush Ronald!" Hermione hissed "You'll wake him. Just…Oh, just give me the cake." There was more shuffling behind the door. Harry saw the door knob start to turn and he was tactful enough to close his eyes again and pretend to be asleep.

"He's asleep," Ron whispered to Hermione next to Harry's bed.

"Well obviously, Ron." Hermione sighed. "Wake him up."

Ron frowned, "How?" Harry didn't need his eyes open to know that Hermione was most likely rolling her eyes.

"How do you usually wake him up?"

"I don't," replied Ron "Harry usually wakes _me _up." Harry had to use all of his will to stop from laughing.

"Dear Godric, just nudge him gently." Harry felt a finger prod him. He gave an unwilling flinch at the contact as he was expecting it but it seemed to go unnoticed. To be honest, the two faces peering down at him made Harry feel like a potions experiment.

"Happy Birthday Harry!" smiled Hermione as she handed a large white frosted cake to Ron and bent down to hug him. Harry propped himself up.

"Happy Birthday, mate." Ron nodded as his hands were occupied with the cake.

"Uh, wow." Harry said in surprise as he had a proper look at the cake Ron as holding. "Thank you." He looked over at his clock and his eyes widened "It's midday, why didn't you wake me?"

"Well it's your birthday Harry, we thought we'd let you sl–" a loud tapping sound from the window interrupted Hermione. A big dark, chocolate coloured owl clawed at the window sill outside the room Harry was sleeping in. He knew who the owl belong to and quickly got up to open the window. But Ron got there first and the owl flew into the room and landed next to Harry on the bed.

"Hi Syren," Harry smiled at the bird while he stroked its feathers.

"Who does the bird belong to Harry?" Ron asked followed by Hermione who added, "Yes, she's gorgeous."

"_He," _Harry corrected automatically.

Hermione nodded thoughtfully, "Oh, sorry. Who does _he_ belong to?"

Harry's heartbeat suddenly propelled faster, "Uh…I can't tell you." He said stupidly. Harry wanted to bury his head under his pillow; couldn't he have said something less suspicious? Trying to ignore his friends' questioning glances he to the letter from Syren's beak and, making sure to shield it from Hermione and Ron above him, he read it.

_Dear Harry,  
>Happy Birthday. Congratulations on finally becoming an adult. I know that I had already given you an early birthday present however I did want to spend at least part of this day with you. That unfortunately is looking impossible. Mother invited Z and P for dinner and then, irritatingly, asked them to stay for the night. I am so, so sorry. I promise I'll make it up to you…<br>Love,  
>D.<em>

Harry sighed. He felt sad and even a bit angry. It was his birthday after all; couldn't this have worked out for once? He knew that is he told Ron and Hermione that would have told him stop behaving like an eight year old; this wasn't Draco's fault. And yet Harry still felt that he needed someone to blame for this. He took a deep breath and decided that yes, he felt sad and disappointed, but this was no reason to feel unnecessary anger towards Draco. The next thing he felt was surprise – he really behaving like an adult. Happy birthday Harry, he thought.

He reapplied his façade – the one that hid his relationship and his secrets – and stepped out of bed to enjoy his birthday.

**A/N: I just wanted to thank all the people who took the time to review this story. I apologize completely that I have taken so long to write this chapter however I have been extremely busy with school, as you full well know **_**Alana**_** (who keeps me on my toes with constant deadlines. Maybe now you will EF me :P )  
>I'm very shy when it comes to this story as many people I know read this. The response was amazing and very moving as a first time fanfic writer, thank you for all the support. <strong>

**I also apologize to all my friends, I'm so sorry if I've scared you all off with my writing…but Drarry **_**is **_**my passion :)  
>Cyndi, I hope I haven't scarred you too much – Tilly and Rheanna, I know this makes you laugh – Ella, my precious little Ella, you can't say I didn't warn you – and Alana, I know that after you read this you'll pester me to complete chap. 4, good girl. Miki, I pray to Rowling you never read this…you parents would kill me :D<strong>

********ALSO****, this is set during HBP even though their ages are 17. It kills me that I have altered JKR's storyline to that extent but 16 years old just seemed too young to do what Harry and Draco are doing. Plus they needed to use magic outside of Hogwarts. **

******_**DISCLAIMERS – I don't own Harry Potter nor do I make any money out of it. I just love writing it as a fanfic and love sharing my love of Drarry with you all.**_

_**Please submit your thoughts, ideas and additions as it does **__**help me to complete chapters faster**__** and I like to know that I'm pleasing as many as possible. **_

**-Alli97nomel xx**


	4. Oh What A Night PART1

**CHAPTER 4 – OH WHAT A NIGHT PART1**

Harry, Hermione and Ron had just finished discussing their plans for the rest of the summer holidays when Harry blurted, "I'm going out for dinner tonight."

Hermione and Ron just started at him. Hermione's eyebrows furrowed in confusion at Harry's sudden announcement but slowly nodded, "Al…right,"

"I'll be back in an hour…or so," Harry hesitated and then swallowed nervously looking at his two stunned friends.

"If you don't mind me asking mate," Ron spoke "but uh, where're you going?"

The truth was he _did_ mind Ron asking, he didn't want to be followed. So Harry avoided the question, "I'm meeting a friend."

"Okay then," Ron said slowly his head cocked to the side studying Harry as though he had never seen him before.

Harry wiped his palms on his pants absentmindedly.

"Well…we'll see you later then Harry?" Hermione asked warily, blinking a few times.

"Oh, right…yeah." Harry nodded his head stupidly and then reached into his pocket to pull out his wand and then Apparated with a loud crack.

There was a few seconds of silence in the kitchen before Ron said, "That was awkward." Hermione couldn't help but smile. She looked at Ron and then the pair of them broke into a fit of laughter. Hermione's laugh rang out like a bell as she clutched her sides. Ron almost had tears in his eyes. Once both of them had come down to stifled grins Ron asked, "I wonder who it is?"

"I don't know," Hermione said much to Ron's surprise as Hermione usually knee everything in his opinion "but he's making an awfully large effort to keep it that way." She concluded in a very matter-of-fact tone.

"Too right he is," Ron agreed. He looked around at the empty kitchen in Grimmauld Place and turned to Hermione, "How long do you reckon he'll be gone for?"

"Why?" she asked suspiciously.

Ron's face was engulfed in a brilliant blush and he swallowed before saying, "No reason."

Hermione huffed and then narrowed her eyes, "Spit it out, Ron."

Ron simply shrugged and stated, "It's a dreadfully big house." Hermione raised her eyebrows and Ron continued, "With _no one_ _else_ in it…"

Hermione Granger, as a fact, had always been one to take a hint.

Harry had Apparated directly behind a set of tall flats that gave perfect shadow. He was only a few meters away from the designated meeting place. He glanced at his watch anxiously, it was exactly seven o'clock. He decided to walk the few measly meters to the middle of the street. Harry turned around to walk forward but stopped abruptly as he looked up. A young man in a suit was standing stiffly in the spot Harry had been about to walk to. How long had Draco been watching him? A minute? Two? Taking in a deep breath he walked towards the blond.

They were a few centimeters apart. "Potter," Malfoy greeted.

"Hi," Harry breathed and then out without warning he pulled the Slytherin into a hug. Draco was clearly taken off guard by the action but then returned it by placing his arms around Harry firmly, resting his chin on Harry's shoulders. Draco closed his eyes and breathed in Harry's scent.

"It's really good to see you," Harry said sincerely once they had broken apart. Draco started to smile but then stopped.

"I'm really sorry about your birt–"

Harry kissed Draco full on the mouth in one swift movement and it was over with as quickly as it had happened, "Shush."

Harry then did something he rarely ever did; he took Draco's hand in his and walked down the street.

For the first time in a long time, Draco felt content. He liked it, he decided.  
>"I can't believe I'm letting you take me to a <em>Muggle<em> restaurant," He informed Harry "As a general rule Malfoy's _never_ go to Muggle restaurants."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Yes, we'd be quiet couple at the Leaky Cauldron," he teased with a smile on his face.

"Skeeter wouldn't know where to start," Draco agreed reluctantly "'Harry Potter The Boy Who Scored…With Sexy Slytherin Draco Malfoy'" Harry shook his head but could help laughing at the ridiculous news headline.

"You're so full of yourself Mal– oh shit!"

"What is it?" Draco looked at Harry alarmed.

"I forgot the Invisibility Cloak back in my room!" Harry groaned. He reached for his wand and then said, "I'll be back in a minute, wait here." Draco heard a crack as Harry Disapparated and then he was gone. However on the Apparating end of Harry's journey the crack was drowned out by other noises. Harry had Apparated directly into his room and let it be known that Harry was under the impression it wouldn't be occupied.

There, on _Harry's_ bed, was a sight Harry would have gladly missed.

"_Ron,"_ Hermione moaned.

"Oh Merlin, _yes_," Ron cried out.

Harry's mouth dropped open and his eyes widened to a size, he was sure, comparable to Dobby's. Ron and Hermione were entwined together in such a manner than Harry wasn't quite sure where they each started. He tried to avert his eyes elsewhere but it proved impossible.

"Oh yes ri-right there, yeah," Hermione whimpered. Her cheeks were flushed a delicate shade of pink and she was in an extremely compromising position. Harry prayed that he never found Hermione on her hands and knees ever again as he was sure it would trigger this memory.

"Fuck yes Hermione," Ron said loudly. He was just behind Hermione and was thrusting into her. Harry wanted nothing more than in that moment there than to find a deep, dark hole and bury himself in it. Harry looked over at his Cloak that was folded over on the chair in the corner of the room. He was pretty sure that they were too involved in what they were doing to notice him…at least that's what Harry hoped.

"Oh Ron, keep going," Hermione exclaimed her eyes shut tightly.

"Shit…Merlin you feel amazing," Ron groaned "You want more hun?"

"Good Godric yes," She call out "Mmm, Ron I love you."

"I –love –you –too –Her –mi –on –e" Ron replied as each syllable accompanied a thrust.

Harry almost dry gagged. He began to quietly walk over to the arm chair. He was almost there; he walked on his toes trying not to make a sound. He reached out for the cloak and his fingers were almost touching it, he took a step closer to the chair. The ancient floor beneath his foot gave a clear and audible _creek_! Harry gasped.

He turned his head towards the bed just as Ron and Hermione's heads both snapped up to look at him. Hermione's eyes widened to an impossible size and her mouth opened to issue a silent shriek. Ron just looked at Harry in terror and panic. Harry open and shut his mouth in horror and his fingers curled around the cloak and he Disapparated.

Draco seized Harry, "Where have you been?" Harry squeezed his eyes shut and shook his from side to side trying to shake out the memory.

"Oh Merlin!" Harry moaned revulsion

"What happened?"

"If I _ever_," Harry began "_ever_ question my sexuality remind me of what just happened."

"_What_ _happened_?" Draco repeated sounding very worried.

"I Apparated into my room to get the Cloak," Harry shuddered "and my room was…occupied."

"By who?"

"Ron and Hermione,"

"And?" Draco prompted. Harry turned to face Draco and gave him a very meaningful look, "Wha – oh." Draco made a repulsed face. "Eeew," he complained "Potter that is disgusting! Oh for fuck sake, eeew."

"You can't complain you weren't there. I am now actually scarred for life."

"Worst joke ever, Potter." Draco smiled fondly at Harry. "Did they see you?"

"Yes," Harry grumbled miserably. They started walking down the street again and Harry folded the Cloak neatly into his jacket pocket.

Draco knew it probably wasn't best to make fun of Harry but he couldn't let the opportunity pass. "How were Granger's tits?"

"Malfoy," Harry whined and Draco grinned and laughed loudly at Harry.

Hermione and Ron were lying side by side on Harry's bed with the bed sheets covering them.

"What are we going to tell him?" asked Hermione with an air of impossibility.

"We had sex on his bed," Ron moaned in dread.

"We've probably ruined his night," Hermione shook her head.

"On _his bed_."

"We should have been more careful Ron."

"_His bed_."

"I know Ron!" Hermione sighed exasperatingly.

"Where is he going to _sleep_?" He groaned.

"On his bed!"

"He _can't_," sighed Ron "we uh, kind of left a bit of a mess."

Hermione blushed a deep pink, "Oh."

After a few moments Ron said quietly, "I don't regret it you know."

"How can you not regret it?" Hermione exclaimed "Our best friend caught us naked together, having sex, on _his bed_!"

Ron nodded seriously; she understood what she meant about the bed, a very valid point. "Harry knew about us though." Ron added.

"_What?_" She half shouted, "_How?_"

"I guess he…heard us." Ron said sheepishly. "Anyway he told me when you were nagging him about his door being unlocked and I asked him about him sleep talking. It was a horrible excuse, I've slept in Harry's dorm for six years and he's never sleep talked. So I asked him what _that_ was all about and he didn't want to answer so instead he asked me a question I didn't want to answer so yeah. But he does know."

"Fabulous," she groaned but then asked "So why _was_ his door unlocked?"

Run shrugged, "Hey, _you're the_ brains. How would I know?"

"Do you think he," she paused "had someone else in there?"

"Probably," Ron agreed "Who do you think she is?"

"It's not Ginny." Hermione stated.

"How do you know that?"

"Because," Hermione explained "Harry wouldn't need to hide that. He's keeping everything a secret so it's someone he thinks we won't approve of." She said factually. "And," she said seriously "he's told her the location to Grimmauld place, so she means a lot to him."

They were both silent for a while as they thought about it all.

"Back to what I said before," Ron told her "I don't regret it."

Hermione humped. "Oh come on!" Ron exclaimed "I won't tell Harry you said it. But you have to admit," he smirked at her, "it was pretty good."

Hermione rolled her eyes and then turned over to face Ron, holding the sheets over her breasts. "Ronald Weasley what we did was _amazing_. I've never felt as exhilarated in my whole life than just then." She confessed in a rush. Then she added much to Ron's delight, "We need to do _that_ more often."

Hermione gave an exasperated sigh. "_Without,_ Harry walking in Ronald."

Ron grinned, "Oh right, sorry."

Harry and Draco had been seated by the Muggle waiter at table 34 which was conveniently seated behind the feature curtain as it gave them total privacy.

"So," Draco smirked at Harry "I'm glad now that you're totally convinced of your sexuality."

"It's not that I wasn't," Harry said returning the smirk "but if you had seen what I saw, the reassurance would have been immense too."

"Do you remember how I convinced you?"

"Wait," laughed Harry "_you_ convinced _me_?"

"Fuck off Potter, you know I did."

"Which time?" Harry asked.

"There's more than one?" Draco asked skeptically raising his eyebrows.

"Two, actually." Harry replied having fun playing around with Draco. They didn't really have many opportunities to just be a couple.

"Oh?" Draco played along too now.

"The first time is when you made me admit how I felt."

Draco inclined his head slightly, "That's the one I'm thinking of. And the second?"

"The second time is when I fucked you senseless," Harry purred biting his bottom lip slightly "remember that time?"

Draco tilted his head to the side a little and studied Harry. "This may be a Muggle restaurant," He said finally "but I don't believe it would be very courteous of me to get a hard on here."

Harry looked at Draco's lips and then his eyes, giving his boyfriend a very hungry look.  
>"I'll just have to behave then." Harry said softly looking at Draco, his tone suggesting he had no intention of behaving at all.<p>

Draco closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, trying to regain his composure and self-control.  
>"I think that second time is coming back to me."<p>

"Oh really?" Harry raised an eyebrow seductively

Draco nodded. "Room of Requirement, right? I thought so. Had fun, didn't we Potter? It was something like two hours, wasn't it? Remember when I had my mouth on you and you screamed my name over and over? I sucked the coherency right out of you."

Harry couldn't help it, a small barely audible groan escaped his lips and Draco smirked triumphantly.

"What happened to being at a Muggle restaurant?" Harry asked. They stared at each other pure longing and need. Both boys reach for their wands at the same time and…

**A/N: I know, I'm horrible. I'm sorry to end the chapter on a cliff hanger but I've gone over my chapter limit and its 3:24am. Chapter 5 will be part2 and it might be a bit shorter than my usual chapters as this one here is longer. I have also left it like this so that you readers can have a say in what happens next so please don't be shy. Review, review, review!**

**Thank you to all the people who take the time to tell me what you think, you comments are beautiful and make my day. I have been getting some hardcore advice to do a Ron/Hermione so I fitted it in quiet well in this chapter and I'm happy with it so thank you. **

**Alli97nomel xx**


	5. Oh What A Night PART2

**CHAPTER 5 – OH WHAT A NIGHT PART2**

"_What happened to being at a Muggle restaurant?" Harry asked. They stared at each other pure longing and need. Both boys reach for their wands at the same time and…_

…with their wrists twirling they sent out deflection spells at the area around them.

"_Muffliato! Repello Muggletum! Silencio!"_

"_Concelio! Protego Totalum!"_

They were now concealed from Muggle sight. There was a heavy silence. And then Harry lunged. With both boys being equipped with the skills of a Seeker they landed unharmed on the carpet-padded floor. Draco put a finger under Harry's chin and brought his lips to his own. It was a kiss that had both members' hungry but it satisfied them completely. It was all about hanging on, not letting the other's lips move away and not letting the kiss weaken. It was about kissing like it was the last kiss they were ever going to share. Harry could have continued like this forever, just moving his mouth in harmony with Draco's, if only there wasn't a part of him screaming for more.

Draco broke off for air, panting slightly. Harry liked the idea that he could make Draco breathless.

"You know what I love about your hair?" Draco murmured, "It looks like you've fucked for hours on end and we haven't even started."  
>Harry loved Draco's hair; the way it fell pale and straight into the Slytherin's eyes, it always held a promise that they <em>were<em> going to fuck for hours on end. But at this point Harry believed that actions spoke louder than words. Draco couldn't have agreed more.

Harry examined Draco's suit, _which_ was going to be a problem. As though he read Harry's mind Draco sighed, "I _had_ hoped to keep the suit intact…oh well, we must prioritize." Harry, with expert hands, unbuttoned Draco's jacket in a heartbeat and threw it on the chair. Draco reached over and took off Harry's own jacket and placed it on the chair as well. He was wearing a white shirt with a silver tie which Harry used to hoist him up into a kiss. Harry pushed Draco back down and unfastened his tie and took off his shirt. He ran his hands over the Blonde's perfect smooth chest and leaned in to kiss his chin and the trailed down his throat and down his chest, planting kisses as he went. He eventually came to Draco's waist and used his palm to rub Draco's cock beneath his pants.

Draco but his head back and contemplated stifling a moan before he realised no one would hear them.

"Mmmmh," he moaned loudly as Harry continued to rub rhythmically on Draco's groin. Harry felt Draco harden beneath his hand as the Slytherin let out another moan. Without another word Harry undid Draco's belt and slid it out from underneath him. He unzipped his fly and Draco obediently lifted his hips so that Harry could slide off Draco's pants efficiently and he threw then on the table. Harry bent down and grazed his teeth over Draco's pelvis making him tense. He used his teeth to grip Draco's underwear and slide them all the way down his legs and off him completely. In one quick movement he was back and Draco's side leaned forward and engulfed Draco's in his mouth completely.

Draco's eyes flew open and his heart raced inside his chest, "Oh shit!" He cried out. Draco closed his eyes and allowed feeling to course through him. It felt like his nerves had been lit on fire and all that mattered in the world right now was Harry's mouth on him. He arched his back upwards so that more of him went into Harry's mouth.

"Fuck Harry," Draco exclaimed as Harry's head bobbed up and down Draco's cock, the sight sent Draco over the edge. "H-Harry," Draco stammered "I'm gonna– you might want to uh…oh Merlin!" Draco gasped, "Move!" But Harry didn't move and Draco exploded into his mouth, his back curving up towards Harry. Harry swallowed everything Draco gave him and licked his shaft a few more times just to make sure he had gotten everything.

With enormous effort Draco sat up and gawked at Harry. "Harry," he panted "that was amazing." Harry knew he was being sincere as he had called him 'Harry' as opposed to 'Potter'. "How do you do that?" He asked enthralled.

Harry shrugged, "I know you." And then gave Draco a wink.

Draco sprung at Harry and removed his shirt, pants and underwear in a bewildering short time. Now both completely naked Draco straddled the raven sending amazing sensations through both of them. Draco thrusted onto him a few times causing Harry's breathes to come out is short and sharp bursts. Harry loved it when he gave up his control to Draco as the Slytherin was as cunning and ambitious as hell and that turned Harry on beyond belief. Draco leaned forward to Harry's chest and with his tongue circled Harry's nipple sucking on it and then repeating the action to Harry's right side. Draco made a trail with his tongue down Harry's side and to his hip. Licking all the down to his pelvis, almost reaching where he knew Harry wanted him to be but far enough to drive the Gryffindor crazy. Draco traced a few swirls with his tongue just above his groin.

"Oh Godric," Harry gasped "stop teasing me!"

A grin spread across Draco's lips as he savored the feeling of holding the raven's pleasure. At last, Draco grabbed Harry's throbbing erection and pumped it up and down a few times before finally taking all of Harry into his mouth. As soon as Harry's cock had come in contact Draco's mouth Harry let out a lust filled moan.

"Aaahhhhh," Harry's eyes screwed shut as his surroundings ceased to exist. "Draco," Harry called out. At the mention of his name in that desire filled tone Draco's cock became rock solid again.

Draco ran his tongue around Harry's shaft and then darted in up and the down the side causing Harry to quiver in pleasure. Draco pulled up so that only Harry's head was in his mouth. He sucked on the tip and ran his tongue under the sensitive skin making Harry to cry out and buck into Draco causing him to deep-throat Harry.

"Fuck Draco!" Harry exclaimed "Oh shit…that feels s-so good, oh Merlin, yeah!"

Harry could feel could feel that familiar heat and the base of his cock. He entangled his fingers into Draco's smooth blonde hair and pulled slightly, just signaling for his to stop.

"What's wrong?" Draco asked concern colouring his tone.

Harry shook his head, "Nothing." His eyes darted on Draco's face, drinking in his features, "You're beautiful."

Harry stood up and Draco copied him. Harry took a step in and cupped Draco's face in his hands bringing the blonde's lips to his own. The kiss was delicate. Harry kissed the side of Draco's jaw and planted kisses down Draco's neck. Draco stepped in closer so that the whole fronts of their bodies were touching.

Harry pressed his nose against Draco's and the pair just stood there, breathing. The Slytherin and the Gryffindor. The Boy Who Lived and Unfaithful Death Eater. The Raven and the Blonde. Their eyes closed, simply listening to each other breathe. They rapped their arms around each other's waists, hugging themselves closer. There was never a moment before this where either boy had felt such peace and safety.

Harry brought his lover's hand up to their touching members and each boy placed a hand on one side, grasping one side of both cocks. From there their hands embraced as they began to stoke up and down together. Draco inclined in to kiss Harry.

There was nothing else in the world other than what the two boys were sharing. No more hurt, no more evil. Surely, considering the love that was being made, there was a way to overcome all of that?

Draco moved his mouth to Harry's earlobe and sucked it. He then buried his head into the crook of Harry's neck. Harry leaned his head gently against Draco's resting head on his shoulder. There were no more words that could describe this. Only soft moans issued out of their mouths. Where Draco's head was placed he sucked on the skin just above Harry's collarbone with the intention of leaving a mark, he never wanted to forget this night. Harry felt love radiating from the very core of his being. This was about trust. This was about love. This was about that no harm could come to either of them whilst in each other's arms. This was about harmony and peace. It was about sharing and feeling. It was about two very different boys who had found themselves in each other's hearts. They loved each other with every cell in their body. Harry loved Draco more anything in the world and with his free hand he brought it up to gently stroke Draco's pale blonde hair. Draco had lost faith in love a long time ago and never thought he could feel this much love, until this moment. It was such a personal moment, so intimate. They felt they were one person.

The pace of their hands pumping up and down eventually quickened. Draco wasn't sure what the story of every tear was that ran down his cheeks, he just let them fall, there were no vulnerabilities here.

Harry looked up at Draco. "Hey," he soothed "it's okay." He kissed each tear that escaped Draco's eyes and cascaded down his face. He bumped his nose against Draco's cheek softly letting his know that everything was okay. Draco's breath hitched as he grunted quietly. Harry was close too. Draco peered into Harry's eyes; the green met the gray and that was the final undoing as the boys came. Harry exhaled sharply as he let the feeling course through him. Draco had placed his head back on Harry's shoulder and allowed his body to quiver slightly with the force of his climax.

They stood there for a few moments, just breathing and keeping close. After a while Draco looked up and asked, "Do you want to go somewhere?" Harry nodded and Draco reached over to gather their disregarded clothes. Taking Harry's hand he whispered, "Finite Incantatum," and a second later they were gone.

They Apparated into a small room that looked like a lavish sort of cabin. The walls were painted a baby blue and it had the feeling of a cottage. There was a large bed in the centre of the room against the wall and a door that Harry assumed led to a bathroom. There were no arm chairs but a large rug that covered the majority of the floor and a fireplace in the corner.

"It belongs to Bellatrix's brother-in-law Sebastian," Draco explained while dropping their clothes onto the floor "he never comes here anymore though. I came here once when I was eight." He walked over to the bed and hopped in, moving to the side so that Harry could slide in next to him. Harry followed Draco into the bed and pulled the covers over both of them. They turned to face each other.

"You alright?" Harry asked Draco quietly.

"You want to know why I was," he stopped and rephrased his sentence "you want to what happened."

"That's not what I asked."

"No, but that's what you want to know." He replied bluntly.

"When you cry, you're actually beautiful." Harry told him "It's like watching an angle cry."

Draco turned over to face the same way as Harry and then moved backwards towards him. Harry put his arm around Draco's stomach puling him closer.

"I don't know," Draco whispered "what we did was just very moving and…it was like you were touching my soul." Suddenly he felt stupid for saying something so personal and blushed.

"I felt like that too." Harry said to him. He kissed the back of Draco's neck. "It doesn't matter whether you're gay or straight," He said "it's about being with someone who you love and loves you back. It's about sharing yourself with someone."

"Write that down," said an exhausted Draco "it may come in handy when I tell my parents."

Harry raised an eyebrow, "Are you planning on telling them sometime in the near future?"

"No," Draco snorted. Harry smiled. He ran his finger up and down Draco's spine.

"I _did_ convince you that you were gay though." Draco smirked.

_Harry laughed and Hermione rolled her eyes. "It's not funny!" Ron huffed. Harry just continued down the corridor with the trio with a grin on his face. _

"_Shit," he cursed. _

_Ron and Hermione both looked at him. "What's wrong?"_

"_I left my quill back in the dudgeons," he groaned "I'll meet you back in the Common Room." _

_He walked back the way he came towards the Potions classroom. He passed Peeves who was busy hiding behind the corner wall waiting to jump out at students. He rounded a corner and then pushed open the dungeon door. Harry spotted his quill the same time he spotted Draco Malfoy. Within seconds his heartbeat had sped up and was about ready to sprint out of his chest. Annoyed with himself for feeling that way he hurried over to the desk he had worked at and went to retrieve his quill. He could have used Accio but for reasons he denied himself he went to get it without magic. _

_Before he went to leave he chanced a look at Malfoy only to find when he looked up the Slytherin was staring at him. Harry swallowed as his breathing quickened._

"_You know," Harry said using his Gryffindor courage to fill the heavy silence "you haven't had a go at me for a good two weeks." This, Harry was genuinely curious about. _

_Malfoy examined him but finally responded. "I've been busy noticing things." He said cryptically and then he started walking towards the door. _

_Harry frowned in confusion but shrugged to show his false disinterest. Harry turned to leave only to find Malfoy blocking his way out. _

"_Would you like to know what I've noticed?" Asked Malfoy in a low voice, he looked directly at Harry. On his part, Harry was just about incapable of speech. But it seemed like Malfoy hadn't been looking for an answer. _

"_I've noticed you looking at me." He said much to Harry's horror – Harry _had_ been looking at him. "I've noticed the way you stare at me, Potter. I've seen you looking over at the Slytherin table where I'm sitting. At first I thought you were staring at Pansy but then I realised…it was me."_

_Harry was frozen to the spot. Fear bubbled up in the pit of his stomach. _

"'_Potter,' I thought," Malfoy continued "'The Boy Who Hates Me. Why in Salazar's name has he been ogling me every chance he gets?' And then I figured it out." He gave Harry an evil smirk and the added, "You can deny it all you want Potter but I'll know it's all bullshit." His eyes gleamed, "_You'll _know it's all bullshit." _

_Malfoy took a step towards Harry to which Harry took a step back. This earned a mischievous smirk from Malfoy which held for a few seconds before becoming completely serious._

"_Are you bent Potter?"_

_Harry blushed a very obvious red. He didn't know what to say. His problem was that Malfoy was the one that he had recently been developing confusing feelings for. He didn't want this conversation to ever leave this classroom. He considered lying but he knew that Malfoy would know if he was. _

"_I don't know," Harry said in a strained voice after a too-long silence. _

"_You don't know?" asked Malfoy with a raised eyebrow. _

"_Maybe." this was closer to the truth at least. _

"_Maybe?" Repeated Malfoy. _

"_Probably." Harry said with a shaky voice. _

"_Probably?"_

"_Yes!" Harry blurted out. His whole body suddenly flushed with heat. _

_Malfoy studied Harry. His eyes looked up and down Harry. _

"_Yes," he murmured "I thought so." And he leaned in and kissed Harry on the lips. _

_Harry was bewildered at first and then a jolt shot through him as he recognized that in this moment his fantasies were coming true. He was kissing Draco's smooth lips back. But then something else happened. He realised that the kiss shot electricity through him like none of the other girls Harry had ever kissed. No other girl on his mission to discover himself had ever made him feel like he felt now, how _Draco_ was making feel. _This_ was how it was supposed to be from now on. _

Harry smiled at the memory. "Yeah," he whispered "you did."

"We didn't know who else to ask," Hermione said frantically at Fred and George.

Ron sat on a chair with his head in his hands trying to shield the embarrassment away.

"It's only seven in the morning Hermione," Fred started.

"He might still be asleep," George finished.

"But just not in his bed," Fred added and the twins laughed so hard they had tears in their eyes.

Ron groaned inwardly. "Do NOT tell mum," he warned them "or I'll kill you both myself."

"No Ronikins," grinned George "mum will get to you before you get to us."

"Will you both wait here until Harry gets back?" Hermione asked. "I'll make breakfast?" she offered.

"I think we can do that, what do you say Freddie?"

"I think that sound lovely Georgie."

"But please, no breakfast in bed."

"Yes, the kitchen will suffice. I hear the beds here are rather 'used' if you know what I mean Fred."

"I am afraid you'll have to refresh my memory George."

Ron shrunk lower into his chair; he was _never_ going to hear the end of this.

Sunlight poured into the room through the curtains. Harry's eyes opened as he looked at his surroundings. The clock on the table showed 10:09am. Harry took a deep breath but couldn't. His eyes flicked down to his chest where he found Draco was using it as a pillow for his head. Harry smiled. He moved his hand up to Draco's head and gently brushed his hand over the blonde hair. Draco stirred slightly before opening his eyes slowly. He turned his head to look at Harry and gave a sleepy smile.

"Do you know how nice it is to wake up next to you?" Harry asked Draco. Draco kissed Harry's chest and pulled himself up next to Harry.

"And we don't have to go anywhere," Draco replied "not yet."

"No," Harry agreed "not yet."

The bed was very comfortable, Harry noted.

"How are you feeling?"

"Light," Draco said dreamily "happy, relaxed, perfect," he looked over at Harry "in love."

"Me too," Harry kissed Draco lightly on the lips.

"Last night was," Draco arched his head back and gave a satisfied moan "Mmmmhh."

"Yeah," Harry laughed "it was."

"We did it in a Muggle restaurant," Draco moaned "that was so _reckless_."

"Draco Malfoy," Harry teased "I think you are becoming a bit of a Gryffindor."

Draco rolled his eyes, "Do not use that horrid word or I'll punish you for blasphemy."

Harry laughed out loud. "You do realise that only a Gryffindor could make you cum as hard as you do?"

"When we get back to Hogwarts," Draco began "I'm going to make you wear a green tie and fuck you in the Slytherin Common Room."

"I'll hold you to it," Harry winked "just you wait until I get a red tie around your neck."

"Potter, don't be stupid" Draco said firmly "red looks horrible on me."

"It does." He agreed. "I'll just have to make you do something else then," He replied mysteriously.

"As long as it doesn't involve me naked with Parkinson," Draco shuddered.

Harry laughed at that. "How is little miss jealous?"

"Pansy's one of my best friends," Draco acknowledged " But she's a pain in the arse,"

"I thought I was _your_ pain the arse," Harry purred.

Draco groaned. "Potter," he whined "I'm trying _not_ to get hard here."

"Sorry," Harry laughed not really feeling sorry at all "you're just so easy to seduce."

"I would make you see just how wrong you are if I wasn't so needy." Draco yawned and stretched. "I think it's time to get up," he sighed.

"Yeah," Harry agreed grudgingly "I think we better."

"Wouldn't it be weird if we started calling each other things like_ dear_ or _honey_ or _cupcake?"_

Harry's eyebrow arched up at the sudden comment but then gave Draco a too innocent smile.

"It would be weird if you called me that," Harry nodded "but not if _I_ called _you_ that."

"What?" Draco asked sharply "Why?"

"Because you're the female in this relationship,"

"Fuck off, I am not." Draco said dismissively.

"You are so," Harry teased "you're always worried about your appearance and you always present yourself immaculately. I just throw on whatever."

"Yes, it kills me." He informed Harry.

"See," Harry grinned "and you always snuggle."

Draco looked appalled.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Potter."

"Oh come on," Harry poked Draco playfully "it's _so_ true. You used me as a pillow for Godric's sake. And every time we sleep together, afterwards you always make sure we're touching when we sleep. I think it's so cute though." He smiled fondly at Draco who gave him the finger. Harry chuckled.

"Oh and what about you?" Draco asked. "You are always talking about how I'm not open enough. You always tell me how you're feeling. If I'm not mistaken that a female trait."

Harry rolled his eyes. He wasn't going to budge, he had a solid case.

"You're the emotion queen Potter. You're always worrying about me. You and my mother could share methods of parenting over a Butterbeer."

"I top." Harry grinned. Case closed.

Draco glared at him.

"Why don't we just say that we're bent?" Harry reasoned.

Draco shook his head in amazement. He pulled the covers off and stepped out of the bed naked and heartbreakingly gorgeous. Harry looked at him lustfully.

"You're an idiot." Draco laughed.

Harry watched him walk to their clothes and bend down to retrieve them. How did I ever get so lucky? Harry thought.

"I'll write soon," Harry promised. He gave Draco a parting kiss and took and handful of Floo Powder. He stepped into the fireplace and called out, "Grimmauld Place!" Harry flew past the grates in a flash of green smoke and landed heavily in the fireplace of his God Father's house. He was surprised to see Fred and George as they turned their heads to look at him.

"Alright there, Harry?" Fred asked.

"Umm…" well, he felt fine didn't he? "Sure."

"We'll be off then I think," George said and added loudly "thanks for breakfast Hermione!" And with a crack the twins were gone.

Hermione rushed into the kitchen with Ron who followed unenthusiastically, "Harry we've been so worried!" she ran over and gave him a suffocating hug. She stepped back feeling a little embarrassed.

"We didn't know where you were, we were so worried about you!" She continued. "We thought that you didn't come home because of…" She trailed off into a painful silence.

Harry cringed. Ugh. "No it's my fault," he said evenly "I should have sent and owl. I didn't know that I wouldn't be coming back. It just turned out that we…I…uh…stayed somewhere overnight. But I'm fine" he reassured them. He was dying to get out of the kitchen and…go and find a new room, somewhere two floors _above_ Ron and Hermione's neighbouring rooms.

"Um…" Ron started as he looked apologetically at Harry "Look Harry, we're really sorry about–"

"Really," Harry stopped him making a halting motion with his hands "it's okay. Don't worry about it, seriously."

He looked at them both. "It's good in a way I guess." Ron and Hermione both gave him identical looks that said 'are you crazy?'

"No really, it means that you don't have to hide from anyone anymore." Harry said honestly. Hermione and Ron looked at each other and held each others hand and smiled.

"Must be nice," Harry murmured to himself.

**A/N: Okay, so I lied. This is a HUMONGUNORMUS chapter. I really got into it. I had a very hard time writing about Harry and Draco in the restaurant because I was getting really emotional, it was just such a beautiful intimate moment and I wanted to share their relationship with you guys just right. I hope I did okay? This chapter means a lot to me but I don't really know where to go from here. I know how I want to end but the trick is getting there…any ideas?**

**THANK YOU TO: BoundIrishAngel…. Your reviews are as amazing as your stories…..seriously guys; you should read what she writes, it's legend stuff. **

**Alli97nomel xx**


	6. The Unimaginable Task

No lemons in this chapter, just intense kissing. I have spent time in this chapter developing other characters. I'm sorry for the late update but I've had a bit of a sad week with Brave ambitions. Next chapter we're going back to Hogwarts, SO EXCITED.

Answers to reviews: 1. Yes, Draco _will_ top. 2. Yes, I am looking for a Beta. 3. Yes, I would like to discuss plot ideas. 4. I am not sure whether or not Draco and Harry will come out; it's a thought in progress.

Q. Are the Drarry awards for this year over?

* * *

><p>CHAPTER 6 – <strong>THE UNIMAGINABLE TASK<strong>

Molly opened the front door of the Burrow.

"Harry!" she exclaimed.

"Hi Mrs. Weasley," Harry said cheerfully.

"Hello Hermione," Molly smiled at her.

"Hi Molly," Hermione beamed back.

"Hi mum," Ron said "how are y–umph!" Mrs. Weasley pulled Ron into a bear hug and then released her red faced son.

"Come in you lot," she ushered "breakfast is almost ready."

Sitting at the long wooden kitchen table was Mr. Weasley, Fred and George and Ginny.

"Morning," the twins said in unison. Harry nodded his greeting back at them.

"Hey Hermione," Ginny called looking up from her copy of Transfiguration Today.

"Hi Ginny," Hermione replied as she walked over to give Ginny a hug.

"Hey Harry," Ginny said warmly.

"Hey Gin," he said as he too walked over to her. They hugged happily and Harry asked, "How've your holidays been?"

"Uneventful," she said indifferently "better than double potions with Snape though."

"Too right," Harry laughed.

"What about your holidays?"

Harry shrugged, "Average."

"Told you," Hermione said to Ron as she bit into an apple.

"Fine," he said grudgingly as he caught the apple Hermione threw to him. Harry and Ginny both frowned. "Don't _I_ get a hello?" Ron asked his sister.

Ginny snorted. "Good morning Ronald." Harry managed to pass his laugh off as a violent cough. Ginny who wasn't fooled gave him wink and then too laughed.

"Ah ha!" said Ron suddenly just as Mr. Weasley left the kitchen to go and help out Mrs. Weasley.

"What?" Harry, Ginny and Hermione asked all rather alarmed.

"You winked at Harry!" he said rather accusingly.

Ginny raised an eyebrow. "So?"

Harry groaned as he went over to the cupboard to get a cup. "You're not _still_ going on about this are you?"

"Going on about what?" Ginny inquired.

"About whom the girl Harry is seeing." Hermione answered automatically. Harry shot her a look which she returned with an apologetic smile.

"Well he's not seeing me," Ginny shrugged as she sipped her orange juice. "Leave Harry alone," she added "if he doesn't want to tell you then stop pestering him. He probably thinks you'll make fun of him if he tells you."

"Hello?" Harry waved his arms around "I'm right here." Ginny grinned at him.

"Yeah," George piped in "leave Harry alone."

"I bet he isn't pestering you two about what happened the other night." Fred inserted deviously.

"Oooh," Ginny said looking at Ron and Hermione "what happened the other night?" she waggled her eyebrows.

"Fred!" Ron hissed at his brother.

"Oh no," Ginny said looking like Christmas had come early as a giant grin spread across her face "Harry you poor thing." Her eyes moved from her brother to Hermione. "You walked in on them shagging? Oh you didn't?" she said unbelievingly.

"I _wish_ I could say that didn't" Harry said gravely as he poured pumpkin juice into his glass.

"On Harry's bed too," Fred and George said together looking like they could have broken into a jeering dance at their brother's discomfort. Ginny broke in hysterical laughter. Ron simply glared and Hermione looked like she would do anything to be somewhere else.

"Mum's in the kitchen," Ron moaned as he pleaded them all to keep their voices down.

Ginny wiped the tears from her eyes as she sat back up.

"So where are you sleeping? Please tell me not in same bed that they…" she trailed off.

"No," he said revolted "two floors above them. A lovely room in a far corner."

"Well," Ginny sighed "now you two will have to walk in on Harry when he's at it and then you'll be even."

Harry, who had just taken a sip of pumpkin juice, took a breath as he went to swallow and ended up in a coughing fit.

"What?" he choked out as his eyes began to water.

"It's only fair." Ginny nodded seriously but then looked at Harry again and her straight face wavered.

"Uh, no thank you." Hermione said quickly.

"Yeah," Harry agreed "the shock alone would be enough for them to end up in the Permanent Resident Ward at St. Mungo's." swallowing a sip of pumpkin juice down his burning throat.

"Why would we be shocked?" asked Ron curiously "I mean it's not like we'd be seeing anything we haven't done before."

"_Ronald,_" Hermione groaned burying her head in her hands.

"My innocent ears," Ginny also groaned putting her hands over her eyes and shutting her eyes.

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley walked into the kitchen a few moments later and Harry was saved from answering Ron's question.

"Everyone eat up," said Mrs. Weasley scanning them all to make sure they were filling their plates "we've got a big day today."

"Your mother's right," Mr. Weasley said nodding in agreement "We'll take the Floo over to Diagon Alley in an hour."

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry stepped out of the grate with a small cough. He brushed the dust off his robes and rustled his hair.

"Ron, you've got some…" Hermione reached forward and brushed some ash off Ron's nose. When she turned away Ron rubbed his nose with his sleeve just to make sure nothing else was there.

"Everyone this way," Mrs. Weasley called out as she walked into the Alley. Harry took in a big breath and sighed out contently. It felt good to be back here. First years busy buying robes and wands, Florean selling ice creams and a crowd admiring the new Nimbus range. It was true, Diagon Alley was a bit dimmer than last year, but wasn't that to be expected with everything going on? His trip with Dumbledore at the start of the holidays had made him aware of that.

"School supplies first and then we can go and have a look at Fred and George's shop." Mrs. Weasley said firmly.

"A _shop?_" Fred said looking appalled. "It's not just a _shop_ mum."

"It's a booming _franchise_!" finished an equally appalled looking George. Mrs. Weasley rolled her eyes.

"I'll take Ginny over to Flourish and Blott's Molly," Arthur said "why don't you go to Madam Malkin's and we'll meet you there?"

"Hermione and Harry can come with me to Eeylops mum," Ron said hopefully.

"Yes all right dear," Molly replied to Arthur "and no Ronald."

"But mum," Ron complained.

"Oh alright!" Molly huffed.

"We'll see all you unfortunate supply shopping folk later." winked George.

Hermione, Ron and Harry walked casually down the alley admiring the shops. As they were opposite the Apothecary store Hermione said, "Oh, I'm out of Porcupine Quills."

Ron scratched his head, "Yeah, I think I need a few things."

"Ron, we're not taking potions this year." Harry reminded him.

"Oh yeah," Ron said looking rather relieved "thanks mate." He clapped him on the back. They followed Hermione into the shop and the smell of burnt pecan nuts hit them as they walked through the door. Hermione immediately went over to the shelves and picked up a jar and read the label. Harry wandered off in the opposite direction to look at a potion brewing in a copper cauldron in the corner of the room.

About ten minutes later Hermione had paid for her Porcupine Quills, Spine of Lionfish and Standard Potion Mix.

"Well, well, well." said a familiar voice from behind them. They all turned around to see who had spoken. Standing there was Draco Malfoy. The store was surprisingly empty for such a busy day and the shop assistant had gone in the back store room. Harry's stomach gave a jolt. He had to stop himself from smiling. He can't just appear out of nowhere, thought Harry, does he not know the effect he has on me yet or have I not made it clear enough?

"If it isn't the Golden Trio. Weasel, Granger," Draco drawled "Potter." He displayed a perfect poker face. Something that Harry would have to try and match. The door opened and Narcissa Malfoy walked into the store and stood by her son.

"What do you want Dra-Malfoy?" Harry said bluntly and fixed Draco with what Harry hoped was a convincing glare. He felt angry with himself for almost calling him 'Draco' instead of 'Malfoy'.

"See, I actually feel sorry for you Potter." Draco said in a taunting manner.

"And why is that?" Harry said in a see-if-I-care tone.

"Well you see, not only do you have no parents but your only friends are a blood traitor and a Mudblood." This earned a glare from Hermione but a look of loathing from Ron. "And if that wasn't enough Potter," Malfoy said as a sneer of disgust spread across his face "you have to endure their pheromones towards each other too."

Ron pulled out his wand and pointed it at Draco. Worry shot through Harry, he didn't want Ron to hurt Draco but he had to keep up the façade. Hermione moved up to Ron's ear and whispered, "Ron don't he's not worth it."

"I'd listen to the Mudblood," Narcissa hissed as she too pulled out her wand and pointed it at Ron "I would advise you to lower your wand away from my son." Harry glared at her. He blinked in surprise; the fact that she was Draco's mother didn't seem to affect his dislike towards her.

Draco ignored his mother. "You might be a big boy now Weasley," Draco snickered "but put the wand away before you hurt yourself."

"You might be as big of a blonde git as you always were Malfoy," Harry said fiercely looking directly in Draco's eyes "but that's no reason to start a fight in a potions store."

Draco opened his mouth to say something but at that moment the shop assistant returned.

"Hey!" he called over to them "What's all this about?"

"These three students were just leaving," Narcissa said smoothly as she put her wand away.

"Yes we were," Hermione said stiffly "thank you for the supplies." She turned on her heel and walked out of the door pulling Ron out with her. Harry opened the door but just before he left he glanced back into the shop. Narcissa was at the counter and Draco had turned his head to look at Harry. Draco smiled and gave Harry a wink. Harry returned the smile quickly before hurrying outside with his friends.

He was faced with a sudden mood change in the atmosphere. He had come from sharing a smile with Draco to sympathizing with his friends and displaying his fake hatred for the Slytherin. Ron went on about how much like his father Draco was and how horrible and foul he was. Harry nodded and agreed at the right times but inside knew that Ron was wrong. Draco wasn't really like that; Malfoy was. And Harry had been the one to discover the difference.

"What I don't understand," Hermione interrupted "is how he knew that Ron and I are seeing each other?"

Heat shot through Harry. His eyes widened as he realised that he was the one to relay that information to Draco. He took a breath and just shrugged casually.

"Well, weren't you two holding hands?" Harry asked in an obvious tone.

"No," Hermione replied immediately "we weren't"

"Oh," was all Harry said, he was hoping that that would have worked "well…I guess he's just a very perceptive person." Harry concluded. He kept on walking before he realised that he was getting odd stares from Ron and Hermione.

"What?" said a confused Ron "He's a what kind of person?"

"Oh, um…well, you know…" Harry fumbled for words that sounded like he wasn't complimenting Draco "well it's not like it isn't obvious that you two aren't completely smitten for each other."

Hermione clapped her hand over her mouth to suppress her giggling.

"What now?" asked Harry a little too accusingly.

"You just said 'smitten'" she laughed.

Harry felt a blush rise on his cheeks. "Yeah that was a bit weird." He agreed.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"…and if you think about it, it could really come in handy don't you reckon?" Ron, Hermione, Harry and Ginny walked about of Weasley's Wizard wheezes laughing and discussing Fred and George's genius.

"How long have we got until we meet up with mum and dad?" Ron asked.

"Half an hour," Ginny answered "I really want to go into the Quidditch Store. We've got time." Harry, Ginny and Ron all turned their heads in Hermione's direction like children silently asking their mother's permission to go into a chocolate shop.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Oh alright," she sighed shaking her head in exasperation but still smiling. They all walked down the Alley in a row talking about how this was Ginny's OWL year. Harry laughed at Ron's facial expression when Hermione suggested Ginny but a homework planner. Suddenly something grabbed Harry and pulled him into a joining alley way. Fear shot through him. He was pushed against a wall.

Draco Malfoy put his finger against Harry's lips.

Harry breathed a sigh of relief. He allowed the smile he had contained previously to spread across his face. Draco leaned in and kissed Harry. Harry was pushed up against the wall ever harder with the force of the kiss. Draco's tongue traced the bottom of Harry's lip and then found Harry's own tongue. Harry moved his hand up to Draco's face and traced his jaw with his thumb. Draco rapped one hand around Harry's waist and brought the other behind Harry's neck, pushing their mouths impossibly closer. He bit Harry's lip with his teeth lightly before breaking the kiss of to breath.

Harry salivated from the taste of Draco still lingering in his mouth, "Hey."

"Hey," Draco said with a lofty smile. "Sorry for selling you out to Weasel and Granger. I only realised afterwards."

"They didn't suspect me," Harry reassured him "sorry I called you a blonde git."

"Yes, the look on your face tells me just how apologetic you are."

Harry gave a small laugh. "You know I almost called you Draco," Harry told him.

"I know." He shrugged "I've missed calling you Potter actually."

"Hey, whatever turns you on." Harry grinned, hugging Draco a fraction tighter.

"When we get back to school I'll let you know." Draco winked.

"You're going to wait that long?" Harry said with raised eyebrows, he knew Draco too well.

"You're right." Draco nodded seriously. "Hogwarts Express."

"No chance," Harry laughed.

"Oh come on, why not?" Draco nudged Harry playfully. "Train sex would be kinky." Harry just laughed and shook his head in wonder.

He gave Draco a very intense kiss.

"HARRY?"

Harry barely had time to push Draco off him before Hermione, Ron and Ginny ran into the alley way.

"You cut it too close Potter." Draco said in a threatening tone that was so different from the one Harry had just heard. His upper lip was curled slightly. Harry knew that Draco had shouted the first thing that had come to his mind, Harry found this hilarious.

Harry straightened up. "Why don't you just go and run back to mummy, Malfoy?" Venom laced his voice.

Draco looked at Harry directly in his eyes. "Just wait until we get back to school." Harry turned his body so that his friends couldn't see his face. He winked at Draco.

"I can barely contain myself."

Draco turned and walked off.

"Harry, where did you go?" Hermione demanded.

"I thought I saw someone," Harry shrugged loosely "turned out to be nobody. Then I ran into Malfoy." He tried to put as much malice into saying Draco's name as he could. "You know what we're like," he said in a plain tone "we react like lit match in a bottle of Firewhiskey…we just _ignite_ around each other." No one saw Harry's secret smile….

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

…Lucius trembled.

"Bring me Draco." The voice hissed.

Lucius hurried out of the room. Fear and panic coursed through his limbs, not yet immobilizing him but it made him shake…

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

…Draco sat down at the table. The door had long been shut. He looked up. But he dared not speak. He kept his face emotionless despite his pounding heart beating loudly in his ears. Every alarm in his body was alerting him to the danger. His body sensed a negative out come. His stomach clenched in fear.

"I have a task for you Draco." Voldemort told him in his clear, high voice. His red eyes watched the boy before him.

Draco knew he was not going to be given an option. It was either accept or die. Would it be worth dying for?

"Albus Dumbledore is no longer a concern of mine therefore none of yours either." Voldemort said in a snake like voice. "I will give you one year Draco," Draco clenched his fist to stop from trembling "you have one year to bring me Harry Potter."

Oh.

**A/N: Okay so I was in Beacon Lighting this week, listening to my iPod when BAM! It came to me. An ending that is battling with the ending I had previously chosen. You have NO IDEA the week I have had. Depressed and emotional does not even begin to cover it. I have been an absolute wreck. There is only one person in this whole world who knows my two endings…and I am going to lock her away so that no one will crucio it out of her. I'm kidding, be free Cyndi, be free. **

**I would like to personally thank Miki…who read chapter one ALOUD IN THE ****SCHOOL ****LIBRARY.**** And Tilly, for posting this link on ****FACEBOOK**** where you full well know my ****FAMILY IS ON****. What would I do without them? Probably write more shamelessly. **

**Thank you for the reviews I have received from my previous chapter, they were all beautiful. Thank you especially to BoundIrishAngle, Leptine, ceara1888 and TwilightFans. KatieBell and HermioneGranger you have inspired a scene in the next chapter, so thank you. **

_**What do you all think of the task Draco has been given?**_** I thought I would let you know that there will be some MAJOR speed bumps but I have no intention of making Brave Ambition short. I have found true love in this Drarry. **

**A quick question for you all: When and where would you like Draco to top? Because really, there's no stopping it guys. I'D LOVE TO BE FRIENDS ON POTTERMORE SO SEND ME YOUR NAMES!**


	7. Unwanted Protection

**Chapter 7**

**UNWANTED PROTECTION**

"_You have one year to kill Harry Potter."_

It wasn't a question; it was a vessel to live. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't think. The blood had drained from his face leaving him paler shade of white. His hands shook around his wand as he locked the bathroom door. He didn't know what to do; he didn't know what to think. He pulled his top up over his head and threw it on the floor. He walked over to the basin and turned on the tap, watching the water spray out into the sink. Draco put his hands under the water and then splashed some on his face, flinching somewhat as the feeling came back to him. He felt like he was going to be sick.

With trembling hands he turned off the tap and walked back over to the door. He stopped, there was no way known he was ready to face outside the four walls of his bathroom yet. He turned around and slid down the wall ending up sitting on the floor. His breath suddenly hitched and before he knew what had come over him Draco was sobbing. Big, painful sobs that made him gasp for air.

What was he going to do?

He brought Harry's face into mind. Pictured his beautiful green eyes, his untamable black hair, the scar on his forehead, his glasses. How could Harry not exist in this world? It was only until now that Draco realised just how much Harry meant to him. And just how much he would lose if Harry…wasn't in his life.

He couldn't do it. An empty laugh escaped Draco's lips – would be like Peter Pettigrew? Betray Harry as wormtail had done his parents? Lead Harry to his death, when Harry though he was safe with someone he trusted and love, in return for his life? How much was Draco's life worth without Harry?

What he didn't know was what he would do. What he _did_ know was that he couldn't tell Harry. He couldn't risk the Gryffindor running away from him.

"But he's not safe with you anymore, don't you understand that?" Draco whispered to himself.

He had to protect Harry. He would give Harry that much, he would keep him safe, even if that meant staying away from him. He didn't know how he would stay away, he had tried to stay away most of his life. He remembered what that felt like; to stare across from the Slytherin table every day, to feel his chest ache from the yearning. Could he go back to that? Was he strong enough?

How would he tell Harry that it was over? Draco put his head in his hands as a fresh sobs tore through him.

_I don't want it to be over,_ Draco thought. He felt like a child as those words formed in his head, but it was the plainest form of the truth – Harry was the only one for him, he always had been. And now he had been sentenced to deliver him to his death.

There had to be another way, there just _had_ to be. Because it wasn't fair for him to find love and then have it torn away from him. Could he take one of Harry's hairs and put it in a vile of polyjuice potion; give it to someone that he would Imperise to act in Harry's place? Would he refuse the task and take Harry into hiding? Maybe he could find away to replicate the night Harry first unintentionally defeated the Dark Lord?

But Draco knew one this for certain: this was his task and his alone. He would deal with it. A Malfoy never showed their fears or vulnerabilities. He couldn't ask for help; he couldn't risk anyone knowing. He wouldn't tell Harry or Dumbledore or ask assistance from his parents or his friends.

Draco looked around the bathroom and felt so small and insignificant. He thought back to the last time they had made love and how amazing it was to know that Harry would protect him no matter what.

This was serious; this was Harry's _life_. Draco loved him enough to want to protect it. He loved him enough that if leaving him meant that he stayed alive, then so be it.

"I'm not going to let him die," Draco said firmly as he wiped his tear streaked face "even if it means I lose him."

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry thought back to packing his rucksack, he wondered if he had forgotten anything. He had packed his robes, all his school books and quills, Hedwig, his wand. He thought back to what he _hadn't_ packed; Draco's letters. That was because he hadn't received any this week. Harry had written to Draco but had not received a reply. It was enough to spark up worry.

"Ready, Harry?" Ron asked pulling Harry out of his thoughts. Harry looked at the barrier that allowed Hogwarts students to enter Platform 9 ¾.

"Yeah," Harry nodded "let's go."

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Ron was lying across the carriage seat with his head in Hermione's lap whilst Harry lounged across the other seat opposite his friends.

"I'm looking forward to this year." Hermione said.

"You look forward to _every_ year." Ron replied with a roll of his eyes.

"It's going to be a hard year," Harry said "for everyone, what with everything going on."

"I agree with Harr–" Hermione was interrupted by the carriage door opening. The three of them sat up immediately as Draco Malfoy opened the door shadowed by Pansy Parkinson and Blaise Zambini. Harry tried to catch Draco's eye but the blonde seemed determined to avoid his gaze.

Draco lightly threw three square cut cards onto the seat.

"If it were up to me I wouldn't be committing this sacrilege," he glared "but rules are rules."

"What are you talking about Malfoy?" Ron demanded.

Draco pointed to the cards on the seat and warned, "They're for sixth years only." With that the three Slytherin's left.

"I wonder what that was about?" Harry said out loud. He blushed a little when he realised he was talking about Draco evading his gaze rather than why the Slytherin's had come to their carriage.

"Let's find out," Hermione reach over to pick up the cards and handed them one each. She read, "_To all Gryffindor's, Hufflepuff's, Ravenclaw's and Slytherin's in their sixth year at Hogwarts. You have all been invited to attend a gathering that has been in order since the first years that Hogwarts was founded. It is not compulsory however every sixth year will be given the opportunity to attend. This gathering will occur on the first of every month. Hogwarts staff and teachers are unaware of this tradition. Therefore these are your instruction:_

_You will all go to the seventh floor to the Room of Requirement at the designated time that you have been allocated at the bottom of your card. _

_Once you have arrived at the Room Of Requirement you will be asked the password which is also at the bottom of your card. _

_This gathering begins at 7:00pm and ends at 9:00pm. At the end of the night you will be asked if you will be a returned next month. You will _all_ be asked to sign a piece of parchment that ensures that you will not reveal the details of this tradition to younger students, staff, teachers or parents. _

_Hermione Granger: 6:54pm _

_Password: Niffler"_ Hermione looked at Harry and Ron "what does yours say?"

"Same. My time is 6:54pm too and my password is Niffler as well." Ron said.

"Mine's the same as yours too." Harry clarified.

"I've never heard of this." Ron said looking confused.

"Hence the 'do not tell younger students' part, Ron." Hermione sighed.

"Are you too going to go?" Harry asked.

"Are you?" Hermione asked not looking too confident.

Harry thought of Draco. "Yes," he replied.

"If Harry's going then I'm going," Ron looked at Hermione.

"Oh alright," she huffed "we'll go."

Harry smiled.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

The food appeared on the four tables that filled the Great Hall. Ron practically dived into the chicken drumsticks. Harry went to put a piece of roast pumpkin on his plate as his eyes swept over to the Slytherin table. To his surprise he caught the blonde looking at him. Harry didn't even have time to share a smile with his boyfriend as Draco turned his away as soon as Harry looked at him. Harry's eyebrows frowned in confusion. He didn't understand; he hadn't received any recent letters from Draco, the Slytherin wouldn't return his gazes let alone even look at him. Harry felt purposefully ignored and he didn't understand why!

He let out a frustrated sigh and turned back to his plate.

"I ar oo ookin ober a da slierin taule?" asked Ron with his mouth full.

"What?"

"Ron," sighed Hermione "chew and swallow, chew and swallow. Once you have ingested your food _then_ try and communicate."

Ron gave a large painful swallow. "I _said_ why are looking over at the Slytherin table?"

"Oh was I?" Harry said innocently as he put some potatoes on his plate.

"Yeah, you were. Wait–" Ron's eyes widened. He looked over at the Slytherin table and then back at Harry, back at the Slytherin table and then back at Harry, "She's not in _Slytherin_ is she?"

Harry blushed. "Who's in Slytherin?" He asked stupidly.

"The girl you like."

"Who does Harry like?" Seamus asked.

"Harry likes someone?" Neville inquired turning his head to look at Harry.

"Guys, leave Harry alone." Ginny interrupted firmly.

"Is it you Ginny?" Neville asked her.

"It better not be," Dean said sharply.

"It's not," Harry assured him, looking at Ron who was eyeing Dean dangerously.

"Is it Cho?" Seamus asked.

"Oh I'm sorry," Ginny spoke "I didn't know 'leave him alone' meant 'keep on pestering him'."

"It's nobody's business except Harry's." Hermione told everyone. Harry gave her a grateful look.

Neville changed the subject. "How were your holidays Harry?" Ginny let out a laugh.

"They were good," Harry replied "didn't do much but a break's always good, how about you?"

"Gran took me up to Scotland and we stayed there for a few weeks."

"You should have told me Neville!" Seamus jumped in "You could have stayed with me and my mum."

Hermione looked at the time. "Are any of you going to this sixth year party?" She said quietly so that Ginny couldn't hear.

"I am," Dean said "would have liked to bring Ginny but oh well." Ron shot him another glare that Dean missed.

"I will," Seamus nodded.

"If you're all going I'll go too," Neville told them "what about you?"

"We're going," Hermione said indicating to herself, Ron and Harry.

"What do you think is going to happen?" Ron asked.

"No idea," Dean said with a shrug.

"Who knows," Lavender whispered joining the conversation "but it can't be bad."

"Oi Lee," Ron called out.

"Yeah?"

"This sixth year party," Ron began quietly "what happens?"

A grin spread over Lee Jordan's face, "I'm afraid I've been sworn to secrecy. Literally. Sorry."

"Well," Hermione said to Ron and Harry softly "it's 6:50pm. I think we better head over to the seventh floor don't you?"

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"Niffler," the trio said in unison.

The doors of the Room of Requirement opened and they stepped in. The room was huge. There was a large section of floor in the centre bordered with couches, chairs and cushions. The room was filled with sixth years. Music was playing loudly from invisible speaks that seemed to mute momentarily when the doors opened. There were tables filled with desserts left over from the dinner that they had left early so that they could attend this party.

"Hermione!" Parvati called out "come on!" Parvati grabbed Hermione's arm and pulled her into the dancing crowed.

"Let's go over to the table" Ron shouted battling with the music.

"Go with Hermione!" Harry said loudly ushering him towards the crowd. "I'll meet you in there."

Harry walked over to the table. He went to reach for a glass when something caught his eye. Draco was leaning against the wall and was talking to Blaise Zambini who was eyeing a girl from Ravenclaw. Draco laughed and then turned his head in Harry's direction. Before Draco had the opportunity to look away Harry lifted his chin towards the door indicating for Draco to meet him outside. The laugh from Draco's face evaporated and his mouth set in a hard line.

Draco looked away, ignoring the request. Harry didn't budge. He waited until Draco looked back over at him, checking if he was still there. Harry mouthed, 'Now.' He gave Draco a stern look. He turned and walked to wards the door.

Draco opened the door a few moments after Harry himself had. Harry walked down the corridor and turned into an empty classroom aware that Draco was following him.

Harry stopped and turned to face Draco.

"What's going on?" He asked trying to keep his voice calm and steady.

Draco shrugged and looked away, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Oh okay, thought Harry. He leant against a table. I might as well get comfortable if he's going to play it like this, he thought.

"Let me help you out then," Harry said with an edge to his voice "After you practically suck my face and suggest we fuck on a train I get no letters from you. You did get my letters didn't you?"

Draco winced but kept a cold face, "Yes."

Harry knew that he had but hearing it from Draco directly that he had chosen not to respond hurt more than Harry thought it would have.

"Then," Harry continued "You come into my carriage on the train and you don't even look at me. I understand that we're keeping this," Harry pointed to the two of them "a secret but you could have at least acknowledged my presence."

Draco said nothing but continue to let Harry rant.

"Then we're at dinner and I look at you and you look away. No smile, no nod, you don't even look at me!" When Draco stayed silent Harry said, "And tonight you ignore me."

He looked at Draco expectantly. Harry threw his hands up. "And I'm still standing here trying to figure out what the fuck I've done!"

Draco let out a tortured breath and met Harry's eyes for the first time today.

"It's not you."

"Bullshit."

"I'm fucking serious. God damn it Harry!" He hit the table with his fist. "You don't understand."

"Then bloody hell, explain it to me!" Harry said almost yelling.

Draco ran his hand through his blonde hair, he looked pained. Draco's expression made Harry's anger vanish.

"Look Harry," Draco began he closed his eyes for a moment "this…this isn't going to work. It's…" he swallowed and his breath came out sharply.

Harry held his breath, "_What?_"

"Please don't make this harder than it has to be," Draco told him, his voice barely audible.

"It doesn't have to be anything." He stepped towards Draco. "Where did this come from?"

Draco's eyes made contact with Harry's and he looked into the green eyes firmly.

"I'm not…good for you." Draco said finally his voice heavy.

"_What?_" Harry repeated shocked.

Draco pulled his left sleeve, revealing his Dark Mark. Harry had seen it before but it no longer unnerved him because he knew who Draco truly was.

"You know what I am," he said a note of disgust in his voice. "I'm not good for you. I'm not good _enough_ for you." Draco hid the pain he was feeling. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to end it. He felt horrible doing this and not giving Harry and truthful and valid reason.

Harry shook his head. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Just…don't."

Draco turned and left. And Harry stood there. It couldn't be over…could it?

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"Remind me _why_ we're taking potions again." Ron complained as they opened up their potion books.

"Because Slughorn is taking potions," Harry recited "and we want to be Aurors. This is a complicated one." Harry noted looking at the instructions on the board.

"Where did you head off to last night?" Ron asked as they collected their ingredients.

"Didn't feel too well," Harry lied casually "so I just went back to the common room."

"Oh okay," Ron paused and then added "I was a bit worried last night."

"Why?"

"You were talking in your sleep," Ron told him "which you don't usually do."

"What?" Harry froze.

"You were sleep talking," Ron repeated.

Harry swallowed. "What did I say?" He asked slowly.

"Something like _I don't care about that_ and then you said _it will never be over_." Ron gave a quiet chuckle, "Seamus, Neville, Dean and I were having a right laugh. Mean anything to you?"

Harry cleared his throat and turned his cauldron on low heat. "Nope, nothing."

The bell rung and they packed away their potions. The class gradually emptied as the students walked briskly off to lunch. Harry was looking down into his bag but he was very aware of his surroundings: Ron was next to him, Professor Slughorn was at his desk in the corner…and Draco was packing up his things at his desk on the left side of the room.

"Coming, Harry?" Ron asked.

"I just need to ask Slughorn a question. I'll meet you in the Great Hall." Draco's head looked up at Harry. Harry noticed but ignored it.

"Alright," Ron nodded picking up his bag "see you in a few."

After Ron left Professor Slughorn called out to Harry and Draco, "Boys I'm in a bit of a rush, close the door behind yourselves will you?"

"Sure thing Professor," Harry confirmed and with that Slughorn hurried off. Harry dropped his things and walked straight over to Draco. He waited until Draco looked up at him, he need the blonde's attention. Draco shut his eyes, no doubt praying for patience. He looked at Harry again.

"Look Potte–"

"Shut up and listen," Harry cut across "I get it okay? I get that you're scared. I'm scared too."

"I am _not_ scared." Draco said defensively.

"I said shut up and listen. I need to get this out."

Don't make this harder, Draco silently begged. He felt horrible enough as it was.

"I understand that you're scared." Harry continued. "You've arrived back at school and realised that this is bigger than just the two of us. That it's real. That if we tell everyone about us, a lot of people will have something to say. And that makes you nervous. You're not the only one, I feel scared and nervous too. You're _not_ alone."

"You think I don't know that?" Draco said his temper starting to flare "You think that is what I want?"

"I _know_ it's not what you want." Harry looked into Draco's stormy eyes. "So why are you doing this?"

"I'm trying to protect you!" Draco blurted out in frustration. "I'm not strong like you are! I _can't lose you_!"

Harry looked at Draco in confusion he threw his hands up in the air. "Protect me from what? I'm not going anywhere; nothing is going to happen to me!" Harry's voice was rising.

Draco's chest ached, if only he knew. If only he knew how his life had been destined to change. But Draco couldn't give Harry the answer he craved.

"From _me_!" Draco yelled. "From what I am! I'm a Slytherin whose parents work for the wizard who killed your parents. How do you even love me? Don't you get it? I'm a danger to you; I'm not good for you!"

Harry could have shouted back. He could have yelled his point across. He could have argued and fought. But he didn't. Because that wouldn't make Draco _see_.

"We knew that this wasn't going to be easy." It wasn't Harry's words that calmed Draco down it was how he said them; softly and with understanding. "We knew that it was going to be hard. What we have, in some people's eyes, is forbidden. But it's not only that. It's strong and it's beautiful and it's real."

Draco felt his throat constrict. "Please stop," he whispered.

"You're a stubborn pain in the arse and I'm persistent son of a bitch. It's how we are. But I don't care because we'll work through it, that's what we do. You wanna know why?"

"Stop it," Draco's breath hitched. He clenched his jaw to remain in control.

"Because I love you. Because I want you. I want all of you. I want every piece of you just the way you are. You know why I don't care about that mark on your arm? Because I know that you know that it's not who you are and it's not who you want to be. _That's_ good enough for me. _You're_ good enough for me. You know why? Because you're the _only_ one for me Draco." Harry took Draco's hand in his, "It is our choices not our actions that define us. I choose you. And you what? I think you choose me to."

Draco snapped his head up, his eyes flashing, "Of course I choose you, you persistent son of a bitch. I fucking love you."

Draco pulled Harry into him and crashed his lips against Harry's. There were no words, just a desperate need. They felt drained of each other's vibe and need a critical recharge.

How did Draco even let himself believe that he could have lost this? That he could have quit Harry? The more Draco thought about it the more he realised how utterly irrational he had been. How could he gave made a sensible and logical decision when he was in that mind set?

He pulled Harry's shirt over his head and flung it on another desk. Harry propped himself up and sat on the corner of a desk. He wrapped his legs around Draco's waist and pulled the close. They brought their mouths together and kissed. The kisses weren't long and slow, they were rapid and short. They were needy. So fierce they were that they missed their mouth all together but just kissed whatever inch of skin they could find. Harry fumbled with Draco's shirt and tie and eventually became frustrated and just ripped them off. Harry went for Draco's neck while Draco muttered protection spells around them, using the little coherency that he still possessed.

Harry awkwardly undid Draco's belt as his hands were so frantic. Draco's hand went to Harry's crotch. He massaged the area with his thumb causing Harry to throw his head back and stifle a moan.

Draco continued to rub his thumb over Harry's hardening cock, "I'm sorry."

Harry gasped at the sensation, "For what?"

"For hurting you," Draco told him quietly "will you ever forgive me?" Draco unzipped Harry's fly and began palming him through the thin material.

"God," Harry moaned. His breathing was quick and sharp. "On one condition," he said through gritted teeth.

Draco leaned in and ran his tongue over Harry's bottom lip and blew air on it. He took Harry's lip in his mouth and sucked on it gently, still working on Harry's throbbing erection.

"What's the condition?" Draco asked him.

Harry brought them closer and tilted his head joining their lips and slipping his tongue in Draco's mouth and then breaking the kiss.

"Promise me you will never, _never_ do that again."

Draco placed his unoccupied hand over Harry's heart, "I promise," he said solemnly.

"Good," Harry used his legs which were still wrapped around Draco's waist to shimmy his pants down on to the floor. Draco pulled off Harry's own pants and disregarded them on the floor.

"Stand up," Draco instructed.

In one smooth motion Harry stood up off the desk, bent down taking Draco's underwear with him and took all of Draco in his mouth.

"Fuck," Draco cried out. His heart rate climbed as the surprise registered in his body. Harry moaned as he felt Draco harden in his mouth sending vibrations up Draco's cock. He sucked up and down a few times before releasing Draco with a small pop.

"I'm up," Harry smirked mischievously.

Draco closed his eyes momentarily to stop himself from cumming right there and then.

Finally he opened his eyes and looked at Harry almost shyly. "Will you turn around?" He asked unsurely, even timidly.

"Take me," Harry almost moaned. He felt a small unimportant prickle of fear that he knew was irrational, he trusted Draco. He planted a small kiss on Draco's lips before turning around and placing both hands on the desk for support.

"Just talk me through it," Harry blurted out. His body flushed with heat. He hadn't voluntarily wanted to admit that he was nervous, it had just slipped out. Why had he said that? Maybe it was because his feeling for Draco were so strong that he wanted him to know how he felt. He wanted this to be real.

"Harry if feel uncomfortable about thi–" Draco began gently. But Harry stopped him.

"No," he said "I'm ready for this. I just want you to help me through it. But it's what I want. I need you in me." He told Draco honestly.

Draco kissed the back of Harry's neck. "Okay," he whispered.

Harry took a deep breath. Draco picked up his wand and said, "Just relax, I won't hurt you."

"I know."

"Lubrico," Draco muttered the charm under his breath. Harry felt a warm substance coat him on the inside. It sent shivers up his spine.

"You okay?" Draco asked immediately.

"Fine," Harry promised him.

"Okay," Draco said he rubbed his palm in circles on Harry's lower back "tell me when you're ready. You don't have to do this if you don't want." He reminded the Gryffindor.

Harry swallowed and took a deep breath with his eyes closed.

"I'm ready," he said with a small nod.

"Okay," he repeated quietly. "I'll make you feel good, I promise." He placed both hands on Harry's hips gently and positioned himself at Harry's entrance. Very slowly he began to enter Harry.

Despite his best efforts Harry's stomach clenched at the intrusion. It felt strange to have something enter him in this manner, reflexively he tightened.

Draco stopped. "Do you want me to stop?" he asked with worry.

Harry didn't trust his voice right now so he just shook his head. Draco continued to enter Harry, slowly pushing his cock deeper into Harry's arse. Draco let out a small sigh, Harry felt so good. He was warm and tight but Draco had to remind himself that he couldn't get carried away; he had to think about Harry right now.

Harry loosened all his muscles and focused on keeping still and calm. He counted his breathing. All of a sudden he didn't just feel uncomfortable, he felt pain. To his surprise tears sprung to his eyes and he had to blink them back. Fuck that hurts, he thought. Unwillingly Harry let out a small moan of pain.

"It's okay," Draco said soothingly and he put a hand back on Harry's lower back and rubbed in circles relaxingly "it's almost over." Draco pushed in a little further and then he came to a stop. All of him was in Harry and he allowed time for the Gryffindor to adjust. Harry let out a heavy breath.

Draco let out an unthinking moan of pleasure, "Shit you feel so good." He rolled his hips lightly.

The pain started to fade and was replaced by a neutral feeling. Rationality came back to Harry and he remembered that he was still rock hard. "Move," Harry groaned "_do_ something."

"How fast do you want me to go?"

"Mmmh," he responded with his eyes closed "fuck me."

Draco complied. He pulled out of Harry but not all the way and then pushed back in. He continued to hold onto Harry's hips while Harry still had his hands on the desk in front of his. Harry's smell intoxicated Draco, it drove the blond crazy. Draco thrust into Harry harder this time.

"Godric yes," Harry gasped gripping the table so hard that his knuckles turned white.

Oh you haven't felt anything yet, Draco thought naughtily. This time when he thrust into Harry's arse he pushed a little higher. Harry's stomach tensed and he cried out loud.

"Sh-shit!" Harry exclaimed. His arms trembled. "Ughn, that's feels so good."

"I know," Draco said huskily. His whole body had become attuned to the part of him that was buried in Harry. Heat pulsated to his cock; he had never felt so amazing.

"_This_ is what I've been missing out on?"

"I told you," Draco smirked "there's a _reason_ I like bottoming, Potter."

Draco drew out of Harry completely making Harry whimper and then slammed back into him.

"Draco!" Harry called out.

"Do I make you feel good?" Draco said kissing the back of Harry's neck. He sucked on Harry's earlobe before biting it softly.

"Oh God Draco," Harry half shouted out to the empty potions classroom "I love you in me."

"I know you do," Draco struggled to keep his voice dominant when all he wanted to do was moan Harry's name. All he wanted to do was continue pounding in the raven mercilessly, "Only I can make you feel this way. I'm the one who controls your pleasure."

Draco's pale skin was flushed with heat from exertion. He pound into the Gryffindor, savoring the feeling of Harry's arse around him.

"You have no idea how tight you are," Draco moaned shaking his head slightly, letting his blonde hair fall in front of his face "you're so warm around my cock."

"Fuck Draco," Harry gasped his hands ached from pushing against the wooden desk "I'm not going to last much longer if you talk like that. You have no idea how much you turn me on." It wasn't until then that he fully took in his surroundings. He was in a _classroom_ at _school_ being _fucked over a desk_ by _Draco Malfoy_. A shudder ran up Harry's spine.

As if he read Harry's mind Draco said deviously, "You like that don't you Potter? You like the thought that I take you up the arse. You're so close right now that even if Weasley and Granger walked in here you'd still beg to cum wouldn't you?"

Draco didn't wait for a response; he couldn't afford one because he was going to lose it any second. He pulled Harry up right so that Draco's chest was touching Harry's back. He put his hand on Harry's chin and turned the Gryffindor's head so that their lips met. Draco felt like he could fly; he was standing skin to skin with Harry with his cock in the raven's arse, kissing his perfect lips. He felt his stomach tighten.

Harry kissed Draco and moved his tongue with the Slytherin's. They were so close, so connected.

"I–I'm–I'm," Harry stammered. Heat rose in his groin. It continued to build up. His legs almost gave way beneath him. The feeling didn't max out it just kept building. It felt so amazing, it felt so _good_. Draco's grabbed Harry's cock and began pumping it up and down in hard, fast strokes. Draco's touch sent Harry over the edge. He couldn't even scream he couldn't even express how good he felt as he shot cum onto the desk. Still kissing Draco he bit down on the blonde's bottom lip drawing blood.

Draco was hit all at once with Harry's orgasm. Harry milked Draco's cock as he spasmed. He bit down on the blonde's lip and Draco felt a sharp pain that blossomed into an electric jolt of pleasure. Draco's sheer willpower kept him upright as a white hot feeling exploded within him. Like a frantic reflex he thrust harder and faster into Harry, riding out his orgasm.

Draco pulled out of Harry slowly and then both boys collapsed on the desk.

Harry took Draco's hand in his and gave it a small squeeze.

"Thank you," Harry smiled at his breathtakingly sexy boyfriend "that was amazing."

"Thank _you_…for taking me back."

"You never left me."

They kissed.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

The bell rang a few moments after the boys left the classroom. They walked hand in hand for a few moments before the corridors flooded with students going to their classes.

"I'm sorry about your lip," Harry said sheepishly "I don't know what came over me."

"I don't know about coming _over_ you but I certainly came _in_ you." Draco winked. Draco laughed and then looked Harry over, "I could get hard again just by looking at your hair."

"What's wrong with my hair?" Harry frowned.

"You look like you've been shagged."

"Maybe that's because I _have_ been shagged."

They could hear footsteps. Harry quickly brought Draco in close and kissed his lips. He then pulled away, letting go of his hand.

Ron and Hermione turned the corner.

"Harry _there_ you are!" Hermione said sounding relieved but her relief turned back to worry when she spotted Draco. "What happened to your lip?" Hermione observed.

"Why don't you keep your bushy head out of it Granger?" Draco hissed, his face turning cold.

"Did you do that?" She demanded at Harry. Harry who took her meaning the other way had to work to chase away a blush, he _had_ done that.

"He was…saying stuff about…Neville's Gran." He fumbled for words; he hadn't been prepared to think of an explanation. He put as much loathing as he could into his tone; he gripped his wand and curled his upper lip.

"So Potter here got a lucky punch in, how fortunate for you. I wouldn't get my hopes up." He said threateningly his eyes flashed.

"You know what you are Malfoy?" Harry had gotten caught up in the moment and the words slipped out of his mouth. The trouble was he had not thought of a response for it. Where was a Ravenclaw's wit when you needed it?

Handsome, sexy, undeniably gorgeous, Draco thought. Instead he glared at Harry, "What?"

Harry had no retort. Panic flashed through him, "A…a…," His thoughts flashed back to their time in the dungeons only moments ago "a cocksucker."

Draco blinked in surprise, clearly taken off guard.

"_What?_"

Without warning Draco let out a laugh. He clutched his stomach and leaned against the corridor wall for support. Peals of laughter escaped his lips.

Harry flushed a very bright red and pursed his lips. He felt annoyed with himself; he had an arsenal of hurtful words he had thrown and Draco over the past, why couldn't he have thought of something a little less exposing? Draco could have taken it as an insult but instead his control had cracked and he had given in. Harry huffed; it _was_ pretty hilarious and as tempted as he was to join in laughing at his stupidity with his boyfriend _someone_ had to cover their arses. Feeling embarrassed, he turned away from Draco and walked to Ron and Hermione who had their mouth open like confused fish.

"Just don't ask," Harry grumbled.

**6,000 words, 15 pages, my biggest chapter yet (woop woop). I'm sorry it took so long to get out, I honestly felt like I was in labour for eight days just thinking, "Get this thing out already." even though I had a great time writing it. **

**Draco finally tops. It was Harry's first time bottoming so I felt like I had a social responsibility to do it properly. I don't think that this chapter has been my best so I think I need to work on my imagery a bit. As always I'm open for suggestions and Ideas. **

**Thank you to my two favourite people – Leptine and BoundIrishAngel – for your detailed reviews that helped me to shape my plot, story and chapter :)**

**Alli97nomel xxx**


	8. The Blunt Truth

**I guess I should have posted this chapter on Halloween and have been all like "Halloween present!" But in Australia we don't celebrate Halloween and if someone knocks on our door and yells "Trick or Treat." We're all just like, hide in the kitchen and reassure the chocolate that the scary people aren't coming to kidnap it. Kidding, we're actually really nice people, trust **

**Before I begin, I just wanted to let everyone know that I am changing Pansy's personality. When I introduced her in this story I portrayed her as a nuisance. I don't think that that kind of Pansy suits Brave Ambition. I am going to be writing her as a confident character with lots of personality and a very close friend of Draco's, someone who has grown up with him. I also know that I said he thought being with her was feral but I'm seeing her more as…a friend with benefits. As in, something did **_**happen **_**but they're just bbfs now. For some reason I see the Slytherin's as a really laid back bunch that hex each other for a laugh. She will be more outgoing and 'chillaxful', perhaps even kind of a 'therapist', we'll just roll with it. **

**Thank you to all the wonderful girls in my class who helped me record our debate at school and incorporate it with Brave Ambitions, Maddie, Chriso, Saskia, Sophie, Cyndi, Rosie, Alex, Ella, Malavika, Klimonce and Mia. **

**CHAPTER 8 – THE BLUNT TRUTH**

"Tuck in!" Dumbledore announced. The tables then revealed masses of delicious food that was practically begging to be eaten.

"This," Ron said in an awe filled voice "is why I love Halloween." His hand dived into the ice cream cones coated with hundreds and thousands. Harry looked eagerly at the food too. He filled his plate with roast potatoes, a blue and pink leaf salad, lemon marinated chicken and tempura pumpkin.

Ginny and Hermione looked at the boys with disgust. "You're as bad as each other." Ginny sighed putting her hair behind her shoulders.

"Wha?" Harry and Ron both asked, almost spraying the girls with their food.

"Can you both please act less like post hibernation bears?" Hermione scolded.

"Women," Ron rolled his eyes before swallowing half a chicken drumstick.

Harry grunted in agreement as this was all he could manage with a full mouth; if only Ron knew how much Harry agreed with that statement.

After dinner the students waddled off to their common rooms all filled to the brim with food.

Harry stopped.

"Are you coming Harry?"

Harry hesitated before saying, "It's the 31st of October. My parents died tonight. If you don't mind I'm going to go down to the lake for a bit."

Hermione's smile left her face. She walked over and embraced Harry, "Oh Harry, why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want to make a big deal out of it." He shrugged.

"Do you want us to come with you?" Ginny asked taking hold of his hand and giving it a squeeze.

"No, I think I just need to be alone for a while." Harry gave them a weak smile before adding, "Thank you anyway."

"We'll see you later mate." Ron said giving him a nod which Harry returned.

He walked the opposite way to the flow of sleepy students. Why the lake? Harry asked himself. Why not the peaceful Astronomy Tower or the Room of Requirement? Maybe Harry knew that both his parents had been there despite it had not been a positive gathering. Maybe the water rippling on its surface was surreal and brought a moment of beauty to Harry's life. He didn't know. All he knew was that he had to be there tonight.

When he reached the lake he sat down on the grass and ran his hands over the soft green blades. He thought of a life with his parents. Every summer would be spent with them. Perhaps Ron would have come to _his_ house for a few weeks. There would have been no cruel Dursley's. Just a loving mother that told him the she loved him a million times a day and a father that he would play Seeker with. He would have had brothers and sisters, he knew this for sure. Younger brothers and sisters to look after, Harry smiled at that thought. Although Harry didn't know what they would have been but he knew that he would have had special moments in that life. Good moments, happy moments. And then Harry thought of the moments that hadn't happened yet. Discussing career options with his mum and dad, introducing them to Draco…

Harry blinked out of his fantasy for a moment. How would his parents react to that news? To Harry being attracted to boys? To Harry being in love with Draco Malfoy, the Slytherin prince herself? He thought of all the people who had told him things and stories about his parents; lovely Lily and mischievous James. He imagined how his mother was: compassionate, caring, brave, strong, loving, clever. And his father: smart, daring, playful, funny, fearless. He somehow knew that it would make no difference to Lily, that she would love him all the same if not even more. However his father, Harry was uncertain. But didn't they give their lives for him? Didn't they sacrifice themselves so that Harry could be here right now? That was proof of their love and Harry knew that if their love was that strong that they would love him no matter whom he was or what he did or the choices he made. They still loved him now even though they weren't there to tell him, Harry knew it. He also knew tha–

_Snap_!

Harry broke out of his track of thought and whipped his head around to see what broke the silence.

"It's just me," The Slytherin said softly as he sat down crossed legged behind Harry. He placed his hands on Harry's shoulders and gently eased him backwards so that Harry's head was in Draco's lap. Draco began to stroke Harry's dark hair rhythmically. Draco's touch acted as a liaison between the two and Harry felt his emotions being picked up by Draco. As the blonde brushed his fingers along the raven's forehead he felt Harry's tension release. Harry closed his eyes and embraced the sensation of Draco massaging his head. Electricity ran down Harry's spine. It felt so erotic.

"How's this?" Draco asked quietly as he watched Harry's smooth face in his lap.

"Really sensual," Harry breathed out honestly he felt calmer, more relaxed.

Draco smiled down at Harry who still had his eyes closed. He moved his fingers through Harry's hair softly applying pressure.

From afar it was a beautiful scene.

"My parents died tonight," Harry said aloud.

"I know," Draco replied as he cupped Harry's cheek with his hand. Harry's green eyes opened and looked up at Draco.

"You do?"

Draco nodded; he _was_ Harry's boyfriend after all.

"I don't really talk about them much." Harry reflected.

"I didn't want to pressure you to talk about something you might not have wanted to talk about. But if you'd like to talk about them more then you should."

Harry felt a bit guilt. He was, after all, the one who always pushed Draco to talk about the hard stuff.

"It's just I didn't really know them." Harry's hands which were placed on the grass picked at a few blades. Draco's eyes flitted over to them.

Draco didn't say anything. He knew that Harry wasn't looking for a 'that must be hard,' or a 'you poor thing,' Harry wasn't looking for pity, he was a Gryffindor like that. Draco let Harry continue.

"I meet all these people that who knew them, who tell me about them. They tell me stories about what they were like. All these personal memories that they get to keep like a souvenir and I've got nothing. I've got a few photos, a few memories that I have to create to accompany the stories, their final words as they were being killed. It's…it's unfair that I didn't know them, that I _don't_ know them, that I never _will_ know them. And –" Harry stopped abruptly. He felt a lump in his throat. He tried to take a breath and swallow it away but that just provoked his eyes to well up.

"And…" Draco prompted gently. Harry always made him get everything out so Draco assumed that that was what Harry needed now. Draco had never done this before; he had always been on the receiving end.

"And…and sometimes I need them so _so_ much, Draco." His voice broke and a tear leaked from his eye and slid down his cheek.

With his thumb Draco gently brushed Harry's cheek, wiping away the stray tear. Even though it killed his back he found the action necessary; he leaned forward and kissed Harry on the forehead and then once again. Harry felt a bit embarrassed truthfully.

"They haven't left you," Draco told Harry as he resumed stroking the Gryffindor's hair "they'll never leave you. You _are_ them…their love created you…and saved you. And I know this isn't a comparison but…you've got _me_ and I'm here for you. _Always_."

Harry took a few slow breaths to calm down and bring his breathing back to a normal pace.

"I wonder what he's up to now." Harry said into the darkness.

"Who?"

"Voldemort," Harry said as he looked up at the stars "I wonder what he's doing now. Whether he remembers what happened tonight, whether he's planning something for me?"

Draco's blood ran cold and his hand froze between the black strands of Harry's hair.

"Whatever he's doing," Draco said trying to hide the shake in his voice "I'll keep you safe."

"I know," Harry said with a small smile as his face relaxed as Draco ran his fingers over the creases that Harry's frown made on his forehead. Remaining blissfully unaware of what Voldemort _had_ planned for him.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Ron's head slumped on the desk. "This is so _boring_," he complained quietly to Harry "I can't wait for tonight. I wonder what we're doing? Do you think we're dancing like last time? Seriously, transfiguration is so f–"

"Mr. Weasley," Professor McGonagall said sharply "if you would be so kind to take yourself and your eager mouth over to Mr. Malfoy's desk."

Harry covered his mouth to muffle his laughter at the sight of Draco's face. He knew the blonde had taken the "eager mouth" comment the same way that he had.

"And Mr. Malfoy if you would please sit next to Mr. Potter," McGonagall instructed. Pansy who had been sitting next to Draco groaned as did Ron. Harry and Draco's looks of annoyance and loathing were a bit delayed but better late than never. Hermione gave him a sympathic look. Draco picked up his books and walked all the way to the back of the classroom where Harry was sitting.

"Hey sexy," Draco winked his comment drowned by the sound of his books being put on the desk.

Harry did a quick scan of the classroom before running his hand up Draco's leg and grazing the blonde's inner thigh, "Hey."

"Merlin Potter," Draco hissed "now is not a prime time to get a boner." He warned the Gryffindor playfully.

"It's not my fault that the mere sight of me gets you hard." Harry's green eyes flashed seduction.

Fucking hell, Draco thought. Don't get hard, don't get hard, don't get hard, he chanted in his head.

"Yes well, you practically grabbing my crotch doesn't help." He retorted. "If I get an erection here it gives us both away." He said much to Harry's displeasure.

"Are you going tonight?" Harry asked "To the sixth year's party?"

"Of course," Draco said lowering his voice so that McGonagall didn't notice them "it might be a bit dangerous for us though."

Harry raised an eyebrow, "Why?"

"This time, it's magical truth. Ever played it before?" Draco's eyes flashed mischievously.

"No," Harry replied with a note of worry in his tone.

"Oh it's charming." Draco said struggling to keep a laugh out of his voice. "Once you agree to play, you're bound. Until the game is over you _have_ to answer truthfully to the question asked. Like I said, it could be dangerous for us. Especially if Weasley's dying to know who you're shagging. And if Pansy would still give anything to know who gave me those hickies."

Harry ran his hand through his hair. To which professor McGonagall took as a different gesture.

"Ah yes," she called out "Mr. Potter could you please tell us the answer?"

Harry hadn't been listening nor had he put his hand up to answer the question.

"Ampsurphia is the incantation used," Draco muttered under his breath.

"The incantation is Ampsurphia, Professor." Harry said loudly so that she could hear.

McGonagall's eyebrows furrowed. Hermione turned her head and looked wide eyed at Harry, her mouth opened in shock.

"So you believe that the charm to increase sexual pleasure is the incantation to transfigure a flower into a walnut tree, Mr. Potter?" she asked as sternly as she could manage in a situation like this.

Harry's face flushed with heat as he blushed furiously. Draco clamped his jaw shut to stop himself from bursting out laughing. The class however did not have Draco's restraint and laughed loudly.

"I'm going to fucking kill you," Harry hissed under his breath. Draco couldn't hold it in any longer and laughed along with the rest of the class.

"Well Mr. Potter?" McGonagall pressed.

"I'm sorry Professor, I was thinking about something else." Harry's eyes widened as he realised how that came across, "I mean…no…I…"

The class howled with laughter. Draco had tears in his eyes as he buried his head in his hands that were propped up by his elbows that were on the desk. His whole body was shaking with laughter as that not-as-familiar-as-Harry-would-have-liked-it-to-be sound of Draco's laughter shimmered around him.

Harry closed his eyes in horror.

And was saved by the bell.

"You can all go," McGonagall sighed with a shake of her head.

Draco picked up his books and turned to face Harry. "See you Potter," Draco laughed with a wink.

"Nice one Harry," Dean smirked, clapping Harry on the back.

"So what _were_ you thinking of Harry?" Seamus laughed.

"Oh shut up," Harry glared.

"You're so gullible Potter," Pansy Parkinson laughed as she headed to the door "Draco's not just good looks is he?"

Harry was sorely tempted to respond, he's also a walking _Duro_ charm. Instead Harry fixed her a look to which she just laughed in response.

"Oh mate," Ron said clutching his stomach and wiping the tears from his eyes "that was fucking hilarious!"

"No," Harry said sourly "it was not."

"Harry's right it's not funny Ron," Hermione said seriously "and Harry you know better than to listen to Malfoy."

"Yeah well…"

"Let's just go and get ready for tonight," Hermione said taking her books and heading towards the door.

"So what _were_ you thinking of?" Ron smirked.

"It wasn't me!" Harry exclaimed "Dra–Malfoy whispered the answer to me, by the way I didn't actually put my hand up, and I just repeated what he said. It was stupid, I know."

"It was a bloody classic!" Ron laughed "The look on McGonagall's face when she realised that it's a spell we're all familiar with…because we use it."

"_Ron!_" Harry protested screwing his eyes shut.

"Sorry, too much information?" Ron asked apologetically.

"_Way _too much information." Harry agreed.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry looked around the Room of Requirement. It had transfigured into something completely different from last month. It was more of a room than a dance floor for one and the floor had cushions that were laid out in a large circle. Not everyone showed this time. There was Hermione, Ron, Neville, Seamus, Dean, Lavender, Padma and Parvati, Pansy, Blaise, Draco, Susan, Theodore, Ernie, Zacharias and Hannah. It was a small but comfortable group of 16 people from all four houses.

Everyone sat down on a large cushion.

"So this is how it works," Blaise Zambini began with a sly smile "everyone puts their wands in the middle. They will be placed under a charm that will bind you to the game. So basically once you sign up, you have to play until the game is over. This is Magical Truth. This is how it's played: when it's your turn your wand will rise from the pile in the centre and fly to someone else. This means that they get to ask you a question…_any_ question they like. You have to answer truthfully. The charm breaks at 8:30pm, in one hour. "

"What happens if we don't answer truthfully?" Dean asked. He was echoed by many murmurs of agreement.

"Well the effects vary depending on the person," Blaise replied with a glint in his eye "the effects last for 24 hours, so keep that is mind."

"Yeah but _what_ happens?" Seamus pressed.

"Put it this way Finnigan," Blaise said looking at Draco "Draco and I played this last year–"

"–and it makes sitting on a broom more painful than shoving a cactus up your arse. So don't lie–" Draco continued.

"–because it's _not_ worth it. But anyways, the point is it's very, very hard to lie; you feel really nauseous, like you're fighting an urge. But it's still possible." Blaise finished. "Whoever wants to play put your wands in…whoever doesn't now is your cue to leave."

Hannah looked a bit hesitant but didn't move. Harry on the other hand was so nervous that he couldn't move.

"Potter, you look like you're going to be sick," Pansy teased "where's that Gryffindor courage?"

Harry's pride flared up and he threw his wand into the centre and it looked like it was grasped by a gravitational pull as it glided in the air. Pansy grinned triumphantly. Everyone in the room followed, their wands gliding into the air. The air around the group of wands shimmered and then went still. The room fell silent. A wand in the clump twitched slightly and then glided out. It had vine carvings around it; Harry's eyes flew over to Hermione who looked pale. Her wand slowly made its way over to the left side of the room where in hovered in front of Padma Patil's hand.

Padma thought for a moment. "What has been the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you this year?"

Hermione's mouth opened and then she closed it. She sort of gave a weak heave forward. She looked at Ron apologetically.

"Oh Merlin no," Ron groaned but then looked at Hermione's obvious discomfort and sighed "just say it."

Hermione's voice was filled with smoothness, like the words were relieved to escape her mind. "When Harry came into his room and found Ron and I shagging on his bed."

However the moment the words left her mouth her face flushed. Her wand glowed a truthful blue and then retreated back into the cluster.

Lavender giggled. That was the ice breaker. The whole room filled with hysterical laughter.

"Potter," Pansy grimaced "I actually feel sorry for you."

Harry caught Draco's eye and blushed. That had been an amazing night for the two for them.

There was a rustle amongst the bunch of wands. A black wand drifted over into Blaise Zambini's hand.

He twirled the wand in his hand with a cunning smile, "Parkinson, Parkinson."

"You never did know how to get on with it did you?" Pansy said with a grin and a shake of her head.

"Out of ten," Blaise began still twirling the wand with his feather light fingers "how good was last night?"

"Oh fucking hell that was _you two_?" Draco's face screwed up in revoltion.

"You heard us?" Blaise asked.

"Are you serious?" Theo Nott laughed. "The gits from Gryffindor Tower heard you. _Everyone_ heard you. I'd be surprised if Snape who was curled up in his fluffy pink nightie didn't hear you."

This earned snickers from the group.

"Your ego is as big enough as it is without me stroking it." Pansy told Blaise.

"Out of ten…" Blaise pursued.

"Eight."

Blaise grinned triumphantly giving Pansy a wink. Her wand rejoined the others.

"Wait a second," Harry said in a confused voice "I thought Pansy was obsessed with Draco?" Harry looked between Pansy and Draco and then Blaise.

"You're so slow Potter," Draco said shaking his head with mock disapproval.

"Draco and I have never been more than best friends," Pansy told Harry and gave Draco a wink "but his heart belongs to some neck sucking girl who I have yet to meet."

"To some neck sucking girl?" Ron repeated mystified.

"Please don't ask how she knows what's on my neck Weasley." Draco implored.

"It's a public bathroom Draco," Pansy rolled her eyes.

"Yes, public to _males_, it's a _male_ bathroom." Draco reminded her. "Last time I checked I was pretty sure you weren't a guy."

But last time he checked _I_ was, Harry thought naughtily.

Next, a tan coloured wand flew over to Lavender. She looked at the wand in confusion but then her eyes opened in realization as if the wand had whispered who its owner was.

"Hannah," She announced. Hannah Abbott looked over at her meekly and gave her a friendly smile.

Lavender looked thoughtful for a few moments, considering her question.

Finally she asked, "What's your deepest, darkest secret?"

Hannah's face fluttered into a worried mask. She bit her lip anxiously. Harry wondered whether she would take the chance and not answer. He was proved wrong when she spoke.

"I…I masturbate." She said blushing furiously.

"_Everyone does_," the other fifteen students said in unison. They all looked at each other and burst out laughing at their synchronized answers.

"Don't get your wand in a not," Parvati said to Hannah "it's not a bad thing. If you ask me, better to do yourself than wind up pregnant or heartbroken." Hannah gave her a small smile.

The next wand that was chosen was dark brown wand with a bumpy handle. It glided over to Zacharias.

"It's mine," Seamus called out to Zacharias in an unconcerned voice.

"Bit cocky there Finnigan," Pansy commented "got nothing to hide huh?"

"Like you can talk Parkinson," Seamus retorted "you've fucked half of Slytherin house."

"Have not!" Pansy glared defensively.

"_Have so_," Draco, Blaise and Theo all said together.

"Yeah but you all liked it." Pansy said evenly.

This didn't bother Harry anymore, he knew that Pansy and Draco had done it on more than one occasion. But when Harry and Draco had officially decided to date each other they had resolved things like that. Besides, Harry knew that it hadn't meant anything to Draco.

"Is it true that you're a homophobe?" Zacharias asked. Harry had to admit it was a good question. He didn't know that Seamus felt that way.

"Yes," Seamus answered immediately. Harry's eye turned to Draco and he was surprised to find that Draco was already looking at him. They both looked away to avoid detection.

"Did you know that 75 percent of all homophobes are actually gay themselves?" Hermione asked him with a slight edge to her voice.

"No I didn't," came Seamus' honest answer "I guess I'm the 25 percent then?"

Suddenly all the wands in the middle of the room began to vibrate. And then they dispatched to their owners. Harry checked his watch, it wasn't eight thirty yet. He looked around in confusion.

"What's going on?" Dean asked.

"The charm senses a…well…a discussion…that could be assisted with truth. We all have to answer honestly as long as this topic holds." Blaise said unsurely. This didn't reassure Harry.

"Let's keep this calm as possible alight?" Hermione said firmly.

"Why don't you start us off then Hermione?" Neville asked quickly as he too wanted to keep the peace.

Hermione nodded and shrugged, and then directed her question at Seamus, "Why are you against homosexuals?"

"It's not normal. Girls should be with boys and boys should be with girls. The same gender shouldn't be allowed to get married."

Harry's temper flared up. Harry understood that people had their own opinions but to judge in that manner was being exceptionally hurtful. He kept a straight face.

"Okay," said Susan Bones speaking for the first time tonight "Gay marriage – for or against. Let's argue it."

The wands suddenly began to glow. Hermione, Harry, Neville, Parvati, Pansy, Blaise, Draco, Susan and Hannah all had blue glowing wands. However Ron, Seamus, Dean, Lavender, Theodore, Ernie and Zacharias all had red glowing wands. What was even more surprising was that Padma's wand was glowing purple.

"Blue wands show for," Susan spoke "and red wands show against." She stopped and looked at Padma's wand, "Purple wands show…well if red and blue make purple…it would make sense that she's in undecided."

Many eyebrows were raised at the blunt truth.

"That was extremely stupid Zacharias," Padma pointed out "to ask Seamus that question when you're a homophobe yourself."

"I was just curious." Zacharias said defensively to which Padma rolled her eyes.

"Susan," Padma said "perhaps you ought to be the adjudicator?"

"Adjudicator?" Blaise asked confused "I speak _English _not _Ravenclaw_."

"Referee, judge, order in the court…ringing any bells you idiot?" Padma snapped.

"Adjudgicatty what?" Theo asked perplexed.

"Why don't you Slytherin's invest in a fucking dictionary?"

"Guys!" Parvati called out loudly.

"Sure, I'll adjudicate." Susan nodded as the glow around her wand disappeared symbolizing her peace keeping duty. Harry gave a small smile that translated into 'good luck, you'll need it.'

"Blue, you can start." Susan told the group that was for.

Everyone looked around at each other, not sure who to start with.

Harry felt a prickle of fear ooze down his spine. What if someone asked the question 'who is gay here?' He would have to answer honest wouldn't he? Harry just wasn't ready for that, for everyone to know. He looked over at Draco who looked similarly concerned.

"Should I start?" asked Hermione bravely "Since it looks like no one else will?"

"Just shut up and start Gryffindor." Theo called out.

After a quick glare across the room Hermione straightened up and spoke, "I firmly believe that gay marriage and love is nothing to be ashamed of. I believe that true love is becoming rarer and rarer. So if someone is lucky enough to find their life partner who cares if that person is of the same gender they should just enjoy each other and be happy instead of living a life that is 'socially unacceptable' and being miserable. Love is a beautiful thing and, in my opinion, everyone has the right to find and enjoy it no matter what. If we truly live in a just society that claims fairness and equality for all then why isn't society more accepting of gay people?"

She pushed her fringe to the side slightly and glanced around the room.

Harry considered himself lucky for the first time in a while. Hermione had given him the ability to reflect on what he had; to be grateful. Most people didn't find genuine love and Harry had his right here. And Harry _did _have the right to love.

"Red?" Susan looked over at the people sitting on the opposite side of the circle. When no one volunteered Susan asked, "Ernie could you start?"

"Sure," Ernie nodded "In my religion marriage is about a man and a woman joining together in matrimony. Changing that would be changing thousands of years of history. If maybe homosexuals wanted their own ritual then sure, but marriage is about a man and a woman, not two people of the same gender."

Harry's eyebrows were not the only ones that were raised. Harry had never actually thought about that at all. When put like that, it almost sounded…well not _reasonable_ but it was a good argument even he had to admit. It wasn't hurtful or discriminative or in anyway judgmental.

"Blue do you have an argument to oppose that?" Susan asked looking around. Her freckled face looked like a mother asking her child a question. However Harry and his team just sat there looking like gaping fish. "Okay then, who's next for blue?"

Blaise looked around hesitantly and then looking a bit apprehensive he raised his hand. Pansy turned around to face him on the side. Draco seemed easy going but Harry knew that he was interested with what Blaise had to say. Just as Harry was of Hermione and Ron.

"I think gay marriage should be allowed because everyone has the right to love whoever they want. If two people seriously love each other they should be allowed to get married. I want to be able to marry the person I love so I guess, so should everyone else. If people keep going on about fairness and equality and all that shit then they should include gay rights. " Blaise said with a shrug. "Look, I'm not gay," Pansy's face broke out into a smirk to which Blaise tried his best to ignore to keep his straight face "so who am I to decide? It's about _their_ marriage so shouldn't it be _their_ decision?"

Draco's eyes were gazing off into the distance, deep in thought. Harry would have pondered more on Blaise's point if not for the negative groan from the opposition.

They all clutched their stomachs in discomfort.

"Oh," Susan realised "Blaise who were your questions directed at exactly?"

Blaise looked plain dumbstruck, "Oh erm…Seamus, since he asked the question to start this."

A collective sigh of relief issued from Dean, Lavender, Theo, Ernie, Zacharias and Ron.

"No, it shouldn't be their decision. Because it's not normal. If it's not normal for them to be together then it's definitely not normal for them to get married. Look, just think about it. Girls are born the way they are and guys are born the way they are. Males and females are born to…well…fit into each other. So obviously homosexuality isn't natural. It's not normal." Seamus concluded his say with a shrug. He said this shamelessly. Though, harry thought, if you thought about it he couldn't exactly lie could he?

"Blue team do you ha–"

"That's the shitest argument I've ever heard."

"Why don't you share your thoughts with the group Parvati?" Susan sighed.

"I'm sorry," she huffed, clearly not sorry at all "but that's bullshit. '_It's not normal'_ my arse. What _is_ normal?" She challenged.

Harry broke into a smile, he had never seen this side of Parvati. She looked so passionate. Plus she was right…what the hell _was_ normal these days?

"Nothing is normal," Seamus said unwillingly his face lined with reluctance as he spoke the truth "everyone is different because there is something original about all of us."

"Yeah," Parvati sneered "that's what I thought. Can I speak?" She asked Susan.

"Go for it." Susan waved on.

"What's wrong with gay marriage? It's still two people who love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together. The only difference is that they are the same gender. When I think the word 'gay' I don't think anything of it, it's completely normal and not irregular to me. I think that it's only criticized because it is a minority group in our society and that if we lived in a world where the majority of people were gay/lesbian then straight people would be out cast. I think that It's ridiculous how much people can dislike someone when they find out their sexuality even if they really liked them before. I think our world needs to grow up and become more compassionate. I am one hundred percent for gay marriage and I think everyone else in this room should be too!"

"Well said," Hannah grinned approvingly at Parvati to which Parvati returned the smile. She brushed her long black hair from her neck behind her shoulders.

"My question was issued at Lavender," She added, the smile now gone from her face. Harry realised that this could actually cause some disruption between friends. Lavender and Parvati were best friends, this was general knowledge to all.

Lavender looked over at Parvati with a small frown. She swallowed grudgingly and looked at everyone in the room. When she spoke it was as if she had been holding back for all her life due to the truth charm, "Well really my opinion is I just don't like gay marriage it turns me off when I see guys like that…It disgusts me when I see gay people like, _eww_ get the fuck off."

Harry's eyes flashed to Draco. Draco looked at Harry knowingly, undoubtedly thinking of one of their many times together and thinking of how _not_ disgusting it was. Draco unnoticeably, other than to Harry, bit his lip and looked at the Gryffindor. Harry's eyelids shuddered. If It weren't for the situation he would have taken Draco right there and then.

"You need a NO DIVING sign on your head because that's about as shallow as you get." Pansy pointed out with a sneer. Harry let out a laugh which he did his best to pass as a cough.

"That was very Ravenclaw," Padma grinned.

"How insulting," Pansy replied a look of mock offense on her face.

"It's my opinion and I'm entitled to think what I like and so are you," Lavender said rather defensively. "Do you honestly think that two guys together is…pleasant?" She asked Pansy with a look of repulsion.

"Fuck yes," Pansy laughed and then pointed out "and gays aren't just guys, it's girls too."

"Do you want to keep going with that Pansy?" Susan asked.

"Sure," Pansy shrugged and shifted into a more comfortable sitting position.

"If you don't like gay marriage, then don't get gay married. Humans are born with the right to be equal and have equal opportunities, people who are attracted to the same sex should those rights too. People should be encouraged to love who they love and making that love official is the right thing to do. Plus…it's _so_ hot." Pansy rolled her eyes into her head just to punctuate the point. She looked over at Blaise with a naughty expression, "What do you think?"

"Hey, whatever turns you on." Blaise said returning the wink. He then turned to Draco, "What do you reckon Draco?"

Harry's face tensed as he became alert. Acid ran through him. He tightened his jaw together and looked at Blaise darkly. He didn't have anything against the Slytherin but Draco was _his_. He looked at Draco. You wouldn't, he thought with reassurance. He knew Draco wouldn't. He thought back to the night at Grimmauld Place, Draco had told him _"I'm not telling anyone,"_ There was no way Draco would do it.

Draco laughed and rolled his eyes. "I love you Blaise," he said "but, ah, I don't love you _that_ much." Draco clapped him on the shoulder. "All the best though." He added with a laugh.

"Well since Smith is such a git I'd like to hear what he has to say." Parvati suggested.

Smith lifted up his middle finger, "Says the bitch herself. You know what, you can suck mine."

"Sorry, I grew being told not to put small objects in my mouth." Parvati retorted.

Padma laughed, leaning back on her cushion.

"Mate," Dean laughed "you just got _owned_." Smith glared. This broke the tension and before anyone knew what had happened the whole room was filled with laughter. Hermione was curled over and clutching her stomach, Harry had tear filled eyes and Draco's white blonde hair framed his face as he hunched over with laughter.

Susan had a smile spread on her freckled filled face. Now that Harry thought about it she looked rather pretty when she wasn't being shy. Susan tried to keep the laugh out of her voice unsuccessfully, "Keep going Smith."

"As long as I don't see it, they can do whatever they want. Marriage is just a piece of paper, if they seriously loved each other as much as everyone is bitching that they do then it shouldn't matter." Smith said out loud.

Harry frowned; marriage was more than 'just a piece of paper'. That was why everyone who found love did it.

Draco seemed to be thinking along those lines too.

Draco drew a deep breath and spoke, "If marriage is _just a piece of paper_ then why don't _you_ not get married?"

Smith shifted uncomfortably.

"Exactly," Draco said simply "it means more….because it _is_ more."

Draco looked around the room and then flushed a barely noticeable shade of pink, realizing that he said something meaningful, something no one realised the Slytherin was capable of. Harry knew him better.

"Well, keep going." Hermione ushered.

Draco gave Hermione a look before shifting into a more comfortable sitting position. A thought occurred to Harry, he and Draco had never talked about getting married. Why would they, they were seventeen and still at school. They were both very committed but marriage struck Harry as something older people than himself did. Unconsciously he tilted his head to the side slightly, all of a sudden very interested in what Draco had to say.

"I strongly believe that people should marry for love no matter what you are or where you come from, even if you fall in love with the same sex. But," Draco paused, his eyes automatically stopping on Harry's for a few mere moments "on the other hand I have been raised in a family where if you carry the family name, meaning that you represent the family, being gay means that you have brought shame to our family."

Harry hadn't realised that he had been holding his breath. He let it out heavily.

"But if you truly loved someone that your parents would disapprove of," Harry said to Draco impulsively as he forgot for a moment that there were people around them "would you marry them regardless?"

Draco's stomach tightened, what was Harry playing at?

"You're not thinking of lying to me are you Malfoy?" Harry said half playful half challenging.

"Yes," the words slid out of Draco's mouth.

Harry's heart began to race; he fought to keep a poker face. "Yes you're thinking of lying or yes you would marry them?"

"Yes, I was thinking of lying." Draco admitted. Harry's shoulders dropped slightly.

"Yes, I would marry them anyway." Draco said followed by a small sigh of relief.

Harry felt his whole existence glow. He felt like a butterfly; wrapped up in a suffocating cocoon, desperate to show himself. Instead, Harry shrugged like it meant nothing in the world to him when in fact it meant everything.

Harry wasn't listening to Susan or to the person speaking on the red team. Whilst everyone's eyes were on Theodore Nott Harry's and Draco's were locked. Harry's breathing became heavy.

Draco's stormy grey eyes looked into Harry's bright green ones.

'You would?' Harry mouthed discreetly. He looked at Draco with a certain desperation, why hadn't Draco said anything before?

'I love you,' Draco mouthed back slowly he looked around at the groups absorbed faces and double checked Hermione's before mouthing, 'I would do anything for you.'

Harry smiled, not only with his mouth but with his eyes. Draco seemed glow, like those stormy eyes had a flash of brilliant lightening in them for a moment. All too soon it was over.

"I don't agree with that," Neville said as assertively as he could manage. Susan had evidently given up running this; she was just the peacekeeper if it was needed.

"It is no one else's business if two men or two women want to get married. Two people of the same sex should be allowed to publicly celebrate their commitment." Neville said evenly.

"I agree with that," Harry said.

"So do I," Hermione followed.

"Padma, what do _you_ think?" Hannah asked. Padma sat in the middle of red and blue as a lone purple, an undecided. Draco inclined his head curiously.

"Yeah Ravenclaw," Seamus said "what _do_ you think?"

Padma looked around the room. She pursed her lips in thought, considering the things she had heard. "Firstly I want to say that I have nothing against gay people and I'm in no way trying to be purposefully discriminative. Basically the whole gay marriage equalization thing has been very controversial, overshadowing other important issues and therefore, I personally believe less important than other concerns in the world. However these people have done nothing wrong and generally are good people who deserve to be equal as others. I personally am torn between agreeing and disagreeing. This is something I cannot decide on," She looked over at her sister "I'm sorry."

_Oh_, Harry thought. Well _that_ made sense. No wonder Parvati was so…passionate about this subject. No one else seemed to realise this exchange between the two sisters except Harry. And Draco. The blonde looked over at Harry with raised eyebrows. Harry nodded in agreement; he too was surprised at this. He wondered who she liked…

"How can you _not_ decide?" Dean asked exasperatedly. "I'm against it because it makes me feel uncomfortable and I just don't like seeing people the same sex like that together. I don't think it's normal for people to be doing that stuff."

This was exactly like Lavender.

"Dean, as Lavender said before everyone here has a right to their own opinion," she began slowly and cautiously "but if you are going to be on that side I think you should at least have a proper reason. Not just that you can't handle the fact that two people of the same sex like each other."

"Well excuse me for being into girls," he said in a harsh tone.

Hannah blushed. Neville scowled at Dean. Harry quite frankly agreed with Hannah.

"Dean, settle down," Susan warned calmly "Hannah, keep going." She encouraged.

Hannah looked very apprehensive but spoke anyway, "We are told that we have freedom of speech and of our actions so why is it different for people who are gay and want to be married? It is their choice not ours so we should accept that and respect it. We don't stop people if they decide to wear a shoe on their head or believe blimbering hummdingers, so why should we stop people from marrying who they want?"

Hermione blushed a little, she _did_ stop people believe in blimbering humdingers. Harry caught her eye and shared a smile with her.

"Ron," Susan smiled "you're last on the red team."

Ron looked like he had been avoiding this all night. He looked at Harry and Hermione who were on the opposite team to him.

"I just don't feel comfortable with it. It's just…not…look, I'm straight, and I have a really amazing relationship with the girl I love and sure, I believe everyone should have that love. But…two guys shagging is just…" Ron trailed off unsure of how to finish and not wanting to start a conflict.

Ron won't understand, this was Harry's first fear streaked thought. If he won't understand about _me_ how will he understand about _Draco_?

"You're a big boy Weasley, I'm sure you can get over it." Someone said coldly. Harry looked up. It was Draco. He was trying to hide an angry look but Harry picked it up instantly.

"Draco," Susan said warningly.

"No," Draco said bluntly "I wouldn't expect any less from a Gryffindor but maybe before saying something stupid like that maybe you should stop and think who you're hurting Weasley."

This caught Ron's attention. And Draco realised it too and immediately regretted it.

Harry thought fast. "I'm the last one." He told the group.

"Okay, Harry." Susan said eager to interpret the argument that Ron and Draco were initiating.

Harry swallowed. He thought about how to word this, to not give anything away, to get the message across all the same, "I don't see why gay marriages shouldn't be allowed. It doesn't matter who you love or how they look or what sex they are, it just matters that you love them. Gay people are born that way and no matter how many people believe that they should change, they can't. There's nothing wrong with being gay." He looked at Lavender and Dean and then the rest of the group. "There's something I really want to add if I could?" He asked Susan.

She smiled and nodded, giving him the go ahead.

"I've realised something over the past few months." He stopped making sure everyone was absorbing his words and took a breath and continued. "When you have sex with someone sure, it's great." There were a few snickers and giggles which Harry ignored and continued, "It's fun, it feels incredible and so on. But…it's more than that." Harry was speaking from his heart. He meant what he was saying and was about to say. _Draco_ had never been so mesmerized. "You all sit on that side and think of how horrible gay sex is. Who honestly gives a shit whether a dick goes into an arse or two people with tits are naked together?" Everyone gaped at Harry. Harry sighed, "Good Godric everyone here has got one or the other, it's not like you've never heard those words before."

"Don't be shy Potter," Draco grinned. Harry grinned back and rolled his eyes.

Then his face turned serious again. "Like I said before, sex is more than just fun or pleasure. Sex isn't just called sex, it's called _making love_ and I think everyone should have the chance to share themselves with whoever they love. Male, female…they're just barriers…"

The room was silent.

All eyes were on Harry.

"That was really deep Potter," Pansy murmured.

"It's the truth," Harry gave a small smile at the irony of it.

Draco, who was further down the line, brought his hands together and clapped. Harry's heart beamed. He ran a hand through his dark hair. The clapping became louder as other joined in, even Padma and even Ron. Harry shrugged, truthfully a little embarrassed about his love rant.

Parvati quickly and quietly wiped a few stray tears off her cheek. She caught Harry's eyes and looked a little sprung.

"That was really beautiful Harry," She nodded brushing her hair away from her cheeks.

"It needed to be said," Harry said honestly giving her a small smile.

"Harry that was amazing," Hermione whispered giving his hand a squeeze.

"Thanks," He replied sounding relieved.

"I've got a question for Harry," Ron called out suddenly. The room quieted down as to hear the question. Ron gave him a impish grin, "You said before that you had realised this over the past couple of months," Harry's smile vanished a was replaced by a feeling of horror that slowly oozed into his stomach trapping any coherent thought and replacing it with fear "I just want to _ask_ you _who_ you had realised this with?"

Draco's blood ran cold. He had had many years of perfecting his poker face. He kept perfectly casual but on the inside he was shaking with worry. Harry would _have_ to answer honestly. Draco wasn't ready. Not _here_, he thought, not _now_.

Hermione shot a look of daggers at Ron to which Ron completely missed. Harry frowned, why would Ron do this to him? Harry felt sick. He knew that the more he delayed his answer the worse he would feel. But his anxiety which was causing his stomach to knot up wasn't helping. He looked at Ron and a clear message of hurt flashed in his green eyes.

There was nothing for it, Harry would have to lie. This wasn't just about him, it was about Draco too. It was about them together and Harry couldn't let them down. His stomach was starting to hurt but Harry determinedly ignored it.

He turned to Draco. "Is it worth it?"

To the rest of the group it meant the punishment; was the punishment for a lie worth hiding a secret. But Draco knew what Harry meant; are we ready?

Draco's mind was racing. How was he supposed to word this without giving it away or giving the wrong message? What he wanted to say was 'Not yet. This isn't the right way to do it.'

Harry waited patiently in his discomfort for Draco to answer. The blonde's face was deep in thought. Harry didn't feel ready. He didn't think it was neither the time nor the place for this to be shared. Harry didn't want _all_ of the people here to know about him and Draco but if he told the truth it would be unavoidable.

Draco looked at his boyfriend in desperation. Give me a sign Potter, he thought frantically. But no such mean of communication could be shared with all eyes on the two boys.

Harry wanted to vomit. His breathing started to heave and he swallowed thickly.

"I'm sure your brave Gryffindor arse can cope with it Potter." Draco finally answered.

Okay, thought Harry, I have to lie. Harry closed his eyes and opened his mouth to say the lie.

The wands that hovered in the air lost their light and cascaded to the floor in a clatter. Harry looked at the watch on his wrist, 8:30:06pm. The nausea had vanished from Harry's stomach; he let out a sigh of relief.

The Slytherin and the Gryffindor looked at each other whilst everyone collected their wands and shared looks of pure relief. They walked over to collect their wands.

"That was _too_ close," Harry whispered.

"Harry?" Draco whispered. Harry looked up at Draco but pretended to be searching for his wand. "I meant what I said."

"I'm so proud of what you did tonight." Harry told Draco sincerely.

Harry and Draco's hands brushed together lightly as they both reached for their wands before they parted…

**Whether this is the first time you have read Brave Ambitions or if you follow it, I just ask one simple thing from you: Please tell me who you prefer as a top/bottom and why. **

**Thank you,  
>Alli97nomel xxx <strong>


	9. Back to Basics

**CHAPTER 9 – BACK TO BASICS**

**First of all I'd like to say how absolutely sorry I am. I finished school two weeks ago and then was dragged onto a plane for a family holiday. I haven't updated in Merlin knows how long, I think about four or five weeks...more? The last three weeks of school I hate to stop writing because everything was so hectic. It was horrible. **

**Next, I have been spelling 'Zabini' 'Zambini' and when someone pointed it out to me I wanted to bury my head in a dark hole and shrivel up in my own despair, I felt really bad but now I'm spelling it right so that's a relief Thank you to the who pointed that out to me, I can't find the email so I can't give a name, sorry! **

**Lastly, my school's computers have been playing up so if you didn't receive a response from a review you sent me it is because of that. On that note THANK YOU SO MUCH to all the reviews, they were amazing and fantastic, filled with ideas, comments, praise, personal stories and constructive criticism. I also made a few friends which was a total bonus **

**So, finally, here is chapter nine to all of you wonderful patient people! It is my biggest chapter so far (30 pages) and I know, it's a very busy chapter, but I hope that you all enjoy it. **

It had been a week since the sixth year's gathering…

…and Harry still wasn't speaking to Ron.

_The other Gryffindors had gone into the common room however Ron, Hermione and Harry remained outside._

"_I'm going inside," Hermione said with a purse of her lips. When Hermione pursed her lips everyone knew _someone_ was in trouble and everyone else counted their lucky stars that it wasn't them. "I'll talk to _you_ later." Hermione told Ron in a too calm voice. _

_Ron on his part was absolutely stunned. _

"_Can someone please explain to me what is going on?" He asked Harry as Hermione left through the portrait hole. _

_Harry wanted to keep calm, he really and truly did. But how could he when Ron had done that to him? He knew that he had to keep calm to explain things properly because Ron was clearly oblivious to the hurt and trouble he had caused Harry tonight. It was unfair for Harry to just burst out yelling instead of working it out properly. Unfortunately, Harry did just that._

"_How could you do that?" Harry demanded loudly. Ron jumped back in surprise. _

"_What did I do?" he asked backing up a bit, slightly afraid, looking around frantically. _

"_You knew I had to tell the truth," Harry shouted "and you asked me who I was going out with in front of _all those people_! If I haven't told you or Hermione what makes you think I'd want to tell everyone else? I can't believe you did that!"_

"_Calm down!" Ron exclaimed "I didn't think it would bother you that much."_

"_You didn't think it would bother me that much?" Harry repeated incredulously his eyebrows rose harshly in question. "Well it _did_ bother me. Actually it did _more_ than bother me. You put me in a corner and I had no way out. I felt trapped, I felt sick because I was holding back the truth and I felt…betrayed by you." Harry said this in a disappointed and let down tone._

"_I didn't know it was _that_ big of a deal for you." Ron said defensively starting to look a little angry. _

"_I've gone to _huge_ lengths to keep that a secret, of _course_ it's a big deal. You don't understand." Harry shook his last comment off with his hand because he couldn't be bothered with it honestly. _

"_Then for Merlin's sake, help me to understand!" Ron implored angrily. _

"_You shouldn't have to understand," Harry told Ron shaking his head "you should just _know_."_

"_Know what?" Ron said frustrated throwing his hands up in the air. _

"_That I'm not ready to tell you!" Harry yelled. He raked a hand through his dark hair feeling annoyed and tired. "If you are really my friend you'll wait for me to be ready to tell you." Harry said evenly looking at Ron directly. _

"_I'm so fed up with this Harry," Ron spat shaking his head "why can't you just tell me?"_

_Harry let out a frustrated growl. Ron was impossible! He'd gone to ridiculous lengths all summer and their time back at Hogwarts to keep him and Draco a secret. Couldn't Ron see all the effort Harry was making? Why couldn't he understand that Harry _couldn't_ say anything? _

"_Why don't you trust me?" Ron demanded. _

_Harry's temper boiled to the surface. _Oh_, Harry thought,_ he's going to pull _that_ argument_. _

"_Don't even think about pulling the guilt trip over me!" Harry shouted "That's absolute bullshit and you know it. You know that I trust you. This isn't about trust."_

"_Then what _is_ it about?" Ron shouted back at Harry._ It's about me being gay and I can't tell you that because I don't want to ruin our friendship,_ Harry thought. He was completely enraged – this was about Harry _not_ Ron. Ron was making this about himself. _

"_It's .you!" Harry yelled punctuating each word as if it were italic. "It's everyone else as well. Everyone else doesn't know either. But I don't see _them_ forcing me to tell by asking me under a truth charm do I?" Harry was so angry that his breaths were coming out in short burst as if he had just run a marathon. Under all of that though, Harry didn't want to lose Ron as a friend but he didn't want a friend that was going to act like this every time he didn't get his way. Ron didn't understand that Harry _had_ no choice. _

"_You know what Harry?" Ron sighed "Just don't talk to me."_

_Ron's calm, defeated voice should have settled Harry. Unfortunately, it did the opposite – it pushed Harry right over the edge. _

"_So…what?" Harry demanded looking furious "This is it? You don't get to be let in on the secret so you're just going to end it and walk away because you haven't gotten your way? How old are you?"_

"_I'm not interested in your lying and hiding everything." Ron replied angrily. _

"_Yeah well I'm not interested in having a friend that's a forceful and immature arsehole." Harry retorted. _

"_A forceful and immature arsehole?" Ron repeated skeptically. He looked at Harry in shock. "You just crossed a line." He said with an air of conclusiveness. _

"I _just crossed a line?" Harry fumed "Do you still not realise what you did tonight? You crossed so far over the line that you might as well have vanished it!"_

"_Whatever Harry." Ron shook his head like there was no point and turned to walk through the portrait hole. Harry still could not comprehend how little of his feelings Ron had thought of tonight. Harry had almost given Draco and himself away. He didn't even want to imagine what that would have been like, so he pushed it to the back of his head and sealed that draw tightly shut. He needed some fresh air. Not caring whether he got caught or not he headed out for the lake…_

…_meanwhile Ron had gone to enter the common room but had successfully been stopped by Hermione. _

"_Oh no you don't Ronald Weasley," Hermione said directing him back outside into the corridor. Once they were both outside Hermione turned to Ron and hissed, "How could you do that to Harry? How could you ask him that question in front of all those other people?"_

"_I didn't know that it would upset him that much!" Ron said angrily, he was up to his head in all of this. _

"_He's been hiding it from _everyone_ for Merlin knows how long," Hermione reminded him as her temper started to flare up "so _obviously_ he wouldn't want to say."_

"_I hate it how he's hiding it from us," Ron said angrily "I just want to know." He looked evenly at Hermione and added, "And _you_ want to know too."_

"_But it's none of our business Ron!" Hermione told him sharply. "You're his best friend, you're not supposed to be the one to make him feel pressured. With the way you're acting I wouldn't blame him if he didn't tell you."_

"_Yeah well maybe I don't want to be his friend." Ron snapped back. _

"_Ron I love you," Hermione sighed as she shook her head "but you need to get over yourself. You need to think about Harry and how hard it has been for him to keep this bottled up for however many months, not how hard it is for you to not know something."_

"_Then if it's so hard for him why doesn't he tell us?" Ron exploded. _

"_Because it's his choice and we need to respect it!" Hermione fired back. "Put yourself in his shoes," Hermione insisted "would _you_ want to tell someone who is acting the way you are?"_

"_I'm going to bed," Ron said shortly. One of the things that maddened Hermione was that when Ron knew he was wrong he always walked away. She took three deep breaths and headed into the dorms to go to sleep, it had been a long night. _

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Hermione wrapped a pale pink scarf around her neck and then pulled her beanie a little further down covering her ears. Ginny flitted down the stairs behind her dresses in a coat and a pair of jeans.

"You coming to Hogsmeade Harry?" Ginny asked pulling her gloves on.

"Sure am," Harry nodded getting up from the armchair in front of the fireplace.

"Alright well let's go now and then we can meet Hermione and grumpy guts over there later," Ginny said.

"More like Oscar the Grouch," Hermione said lowering her voice so that Ron wouldn't hear.

Harry laughed at Ginny's confused face. "Muggle character," he explained "alright then let's head off."

Harry picked up his charcoal coloured scarf and his jacket and walked out of the common room with Ginny.

"Having six older brothers, there's something that I've always admired about you Harry," Ginny said out of nowhere as they walked down the corridor.

"My resilience?" Harry guessed.

"You're sense of fashion." Ginny laughed.

"Really?" Harry asked surprised.

"You make sure you always dress immaculately." Ginny nodded.

"Oh," Harry said a bit taken aback. Ever since that night in the cabin with Draco Harry improved in the way he dressed. He almost laughed as he remembered Draco's response to Harry's choice of clothes '_Yes and it kills me_'. Since then Harry made a note to always make sure he looked presentable. To tell the truth, Harry actually had a bit of fun with it and what was more, he liked looking attractive for Draco. "I just wear clothes that I like…is that a bad thing?"

"No," Ginny shook her head and then grinned a little "it's hot."

Harry laughed out loud and put his arm around Ginny, "Thanks Gin."

"Now seriously," she said hopping a few steps in front of Harry as she walked backwards so that she could see him "what's with you and Ron lately?"

Harry closed his eyes and groaned, he really didn't want to talk about it today. "I've told him to butt out of things that are none of his business and he won't let it go."

"Just ignore him that's what I do." Ginny offered. "He can be such a baby sometimes honestly. At times I wonder who the eldest out of us two is."

"We'll work it out somehow," Harry sighed.

"You always do," Ginny assured him giving his hand a squeeze and then pulled him into a sympathic hug.

"Get a room," Theodore Nott sneered as he Pansy, Blaise, Draco and Millicent walked passed them outside into the court yard.

"Why don't you rub some brain cells together and learn the difference between friendship and fucking." Ginny retorted. Harry's mouth dropped open. He turned to look at Ginny with wide eyes. The Slytherins looked at Ginny equally shocked. Not missing the opportunity Ginny pulled Harry by his arm and led him outside bypassing the Slytherin group.

"_What_," Harry said eventually "was _that_?"

"PMS," Ginny shrugged.

"Fair enough," Harry laughed.

"Three Broomsticks?"

"Lead the way," Harry gestured.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"I was going to kill him myself," Draco told Harry. They were sitting on the edge of a cave, the same cave that Harry had once gone to see Sirius in fourth year to bring him food and to talk.

"That wouldn't have helped," Harry reminded Draco.

"And you're avoiding conflict!" Draco told Harry with exasperation.

"I am _not_ avoiding conflict." Harry returned.

"Then why haven't you fixed it with him then?" Draco asked. "Though if you didn't want to ever talk to the git again I wouldn't have a problem that either." He offered.

"I do want to be friends with Ron again," Harry said confidently "but…"

"See, we in Slytherin," Draco began philosophically "don't give a shit–"

Harry laughed out loud.

"–about how everyone else feels," Draco continued "if something's wrong we'll tell you out straight and things are always resolved."

"Yes well we in Gryffindor are empathic and take into consideration how others feel." Harry smiled.

"And that is why you're all a bunch of dramatic princesses." Draco concluded.

"What time is it?" Harry asked.

"Two forty," Draco answered looking at his thin black dragon skin watch "why?"

"I said I'd meet back up with Ginny at three," Harry explained.

Draco stiffened. He averted his eyes downwards and his jaw squared. Harry frowned. "What's wrong?" he asked Draco.

"Nothing," Draco said curtly. Harry raised an eyebrow. And then –

–Harry did a double take. "You're not…_jealous_ are you?"

Draco's head snapped up and his straightened his posture, "Don't be ridiculous Potter."

Harry couldn't help it; a grin slowly spread itself across Harry's face. He tried to pull his cheeks in to shrink his smile but that only made it worse.

"You _are_ jealous," Harry smirked.

"Lose the grin Potter," Draco warned. He felt embarrassed by the emotion Harry had uncovered.

"There's nothing going on between me and Ginny, Draco." Harry promised.

Draco turned his head the other direction.

"You're so cute," Harry laughed and nudged Draco's arm playfully.

"I am _not_ cute." Draco argued in a leave-me-alone-already voice.

Harry reached out and grabbed Draco's scarf and pulled him in. "I love it when you get possessive." Harry breathed into Draco's ear and then pressed his lips against the blonde's. Not missing the opportunity to take control Draco grabbed Harry's jaw and pulled them tighter together and then moved his hand around and placed it on Harry's back. Harry tilted his head to the side a little, deepening the kiss. The two boys lost track of time as kissed.

"So you think I like Ginny," Harry said breaking the kiss for a moment "maybe I need to _show_ you just how much more I like _you_?" Harry kissed along Draco's jaw line and snaked a hand down to Draco's groin and palmed the area with a feather light touch.

Draco gave a cry of surprise. "Still unsure?" Harry asked his breathing heavy.

"One hundred percent reassured," Draco gasped.

"Good, because I've got to go." Harry said sadly.

Draco sighed, "Better get you back to the red head."

"Who is with Dean Thomas and whom I'm just friends with." Harry reminded Draco.

"Whatever," Draco rolled his eyes "she's robbing me of valuable time." Harry held Draco's hand in his until they both had to go their separate ways.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"The things that are the most important," Snape drawled "are the things we tend to forget making them…?"

Hermione's hand shot into the air. Snape's eyes glided right over her as if she were invisible.

He sighed and then said unwillingly, "Miss Granger?"

"The things that are most basic." Hermione answered.

"Correct," he said emotionlessly "could someone please list a variety of basic things that witches and wizards often forget Mr. Thomas that gum does not belong on the underside of your desk."

Dean jumped three inches off his chair in shock.

"Mr. Weasley," Snape targeted, Ron gulped "can you please name such a thing."

"Umm," Ron mumbled desperately searching for an answer.

"Wand gestures," Hermione whispered under her breath.

"Wand gestures, Professor." Ron said to Snape.

"That is correct Miss Granger, five points from Gryffindor."

Harry glared at Snape.

"Miss Parkinson could you please name another?"

"The correct incantation," Pansy replied.

"Exceedingly simple yet some," Snape's eyes found Harry's and lingered on them for a moment and then ran over the rest of the class "fail to achieve this."

"Another?" Snape asked the class "Mr. Longbottom?"

Neville's eyes flashed over with fear. He avoided Snape's harsh gaze and looked down and his desk. "I…I…I'm not s-sure sir." He mumbled.

"Let me give you a clue Longbottom," Snape said bitterly "you're being unsuccessful at performing it at the moment."

Neville turned a whiter shade of pale.

"No?"

"No sir," Neville squeaked.

"Eye contact," Snape told the class in a quiet voice that seemed to magnify as if he had shouted it. "Correct wand gestures, incantations and eye contact."

Snape drawled on about the importance of preciseness and Draco's mind began to wander. His head rested in his hand with his elbow propped up on his desk. His hair fell into his face with a sort of perfection that many people only dreamed of possessing. His grey eyes unfocused as he handed himself into the clutches of daydreaming. Draco had never told anyone this but when he went to bed at night he let his mind run free. During the day his every thought was controlled, his thinking was always restrained. But when he let his body relax into his bed sheets and his head merge with his pillow his mind unlocked and he let thought run through him.

He remembered his grandfather explaining to him as a boy that male's brains were like boxes; men opened a box during a conversation and only discussed what was in that box. When they finished they would close the box and file it back in their minds taking great care not to touch another box. However female's brains, his grandfather had told him, were like a big ball of wire; everything was connected to everything. They started by talking about one thing and then found a connection to another topic through the original one. Draco found that during the day he participated socially in a very box-like way. However during the night his mind raced like a ball of wire. He found himself thinking for hours into the night. He ran over his day in his mind and began to imagine. His imagination always consumed Draco during the night; he came up with scenarios, conversations, places, unrealistic things; things he would never be allowed to express at home with his family. This was why Draco always went to bed early, so that he would allow himself time to think and escape. Harry Potter was the only other thing that turned Draco into wire. Not only did Harry run electricity through Draco but with Harry, Draco became free. He became different. He wasn't controlled. He was given choices. He was given the chance to flourish. He was limitless.

Draco's eyes had unconsciously drifted to the Gryffindor sitting diagonally a row in front of him. He watched the Harry's finger traced small circles on his desk, he watched the way every now and again Harry would use his index finger to push up his glasses because they had fallen a millimeter forward on his nose or how when Harry was deep in thought his lips pouted ever so slightly.

He realised for the first time the impact that their secret relationship had on him. He could daydream as much as he liked but he could never show affection towards Harry whenever he liked. His imagination started to spark as he imagined himself with Harry. He imagined Harry sitting next to him at the Slytherin table for breakfast instead of them being separated at meals. He imagined them laughing in the library together, holding hands as they walked through Hogsmeade over to the three broom sticks. The scene built in Draco's mind as his thoughts branched off…

…_He and Harry sat down at a table in the Three Broomsticks with their butterbeers in front of them. One of their feet touching underneath the table. They looked into each other's eyes, both smiling, no words spoken. _

'_What's the smile about?' He asked Harry applying pressure to Harry's foot beneath the table. Harry looked down at the table and then looked up at Draco through his eyelashes. _

'_This is perfect,' he replied and then he placed his hand over Draco's which was resting on the table. Draco couldn't have agreed more, it was perfect. 'We're perfect.' Harry added._

'_Yes we are,' Draco said. His eyes searched Harry's face, taking in his features, darting up and down, adoring him like he had never seen such perfection before. For some reason the bar was empty except for them. A beautiful melody began to play over a speaker that Draco couldn't see anywhere._

_Harry looked into his grey eyes, 'Dance with me?'_

_Draco looked around the bar. 'Here?' he asked. _

_Harry stood up from his seat and walked a few steps around to wear Draco was sitting. Harry extended a hand to him. 'Dance with me?' he asked again. Draco considered the hand and then looked up at Harry and smiled as he took it. Harry took Draco's other hand and placed it on his shoulder. Harry then put his own hand on Draco's waist and pulled him in closer. They stepped back, the side, forward and continued moving freely in time with the soft music. Harry took the liberty of spinning Draco in a twirl to which Draco laughed. _

'_Why don't we dance more often?' Draco asked Harry once they had stepped back into a pattern._

'_We can dance whenever you'd like to,' Harry told Draco lovingly 'I'll always be here to dance with you.'_

_Draco wrapped both his hands around Harry's neck and Harry placed both him hands around Draco's waist and the two moved together._

'_What if you're not?' Draco whispered 'What if you go away?'_

'_I'm not going anywhere,' Harry promised Draco. Harry leaned in, brushing noses slightly and then brought their lips together. Harry closed the gap between himself and Draco, bringing them closer so that their bodies pressed against one another. Their heads moved as they kissed. It was the kind of kiss that was profound, very private. Their tongues deep within each other's mouths. They interlocked, eyes closed, their faces touching. Draco could really feel it, like it was actually happening…he could feel the smooth, moist part on the inside of Harry's lip with his tongue, he could feel the feel of their bodies pressed tightly together, he could feel Harry's eyelashes brushing his cheek…_

Draco's head snapped up and back into reality when he heard his name, "This is what we will be practicing in today's class. Listen for your partners. Finnigan and Longbottom, Brown and Zabini, Parkinson and Nott, Granger and Greengrass, Bulstrode and Crabbe, Patil and Thomas, Weasley and Goyle, Malfoy and Potter. At the end I will choose a pair to demonstrate. Begin."

The room filled with chatter as everyone paired up. Everything seemed to be in slow motion; like their first time with a wand. Everything was about cleaning up how they preformed, perfecting the little things that would have made the spell or hex more potent.

"Come on Brown," Zabini sighed impatiently "do your worst."

"I wouldn't be saying that too enthusiastically," Parvati warned Blaise.

"_Stupefy!_" Hermione cried flicking her wrist confidently and looking Daphne square in the eye. Daphne stepped forward and with her wand flicked the jet of light away from her with a _crack_. Hermione glared at her and then stood a little straighter.

"Bring it Granger," Daphne challenged.

Over in the corner of the room Pansy pulled her hair tie off her wrist and pulled her hair into a messy bun before twirling her wrist and taking Nott off guard with a stunning spell. Next to them were Millicent and Crabbe who both looked like they were looking at their wands for the first time in their lives. Ron passed Harry on his way over to Goyle but said nothing. Harry gave a small huff; Ron was still in his mood.

Draco's eyes lit up when they saw Harry.

"Potter," Draco said curtly.

"Malfoy," Harry nodded tersely.

"I'd say we're both fairly practiced in synchronized spell casting wouldn't you say?"

"I don't know Malfoy," they both pulled out their wands and faced each other "I'd have to say I'm probably a bit better."

"Please Potter," Draco rolled his eyes "don't give yourself a false sense of entitlement."

"No false senses here," Harry shrugged innocently "some people are just better at some things than others."

"Implying…?"

"That I don't _suck_ as bad as you do."

Draco brought his wand higher and aimed at Harry. Harry mirrored Draco, ready to be on the defense or the attack.

"_Furnunculus!_" Draco shouted twirling his wrist in an S figure and then flicking it up right. Harry barely had time to think.

"_Mirflectio!_" Harry yelled. Draco's hex hit what seemed like a glass wall in front of Harry and it rebounded towards Draco.

"Motherfu–" Draco ducked as the hex flew past his head.

"_Arrgh!_" screamed a voice from behind Draco. Harry looked around to see who made the sound. Theodore not was covered in large mucus filed boils.

"Oh Salazar they're all over my face," Theodore complained.

"And Merlin knows where else," Blaise snickered.

Professor Snape rushed over. "_What_," he hissed "is going on here?"

"Malfoy doesn't know how to produce a simple shield charm Professor," Harry answered.

"How did I know you were doing to rebound the hex?" Draco said angrily.

"You didn't," Hermione cut in "that's the point."

"Go read a text book Granger," Draco glowered.

"Hey," Ron called out heatedly "why don't you piss off?"

"S_ilence_," Snape snarled. He turned to Theodore and shook his head, he placed a hand over his eyes and sighed, "Take him to the hospital wing."

Theodore left the room and Snape returned to hawking over the class.

"Draco you git," Pansy said slapping Draco lightly on his shoulder "now I don't have a partner."

"Please," Draco snorted "you would have fried him anyway."

There was a loud thud as Dean Thomas fell to the ground, stiff as a board. Parvati twirled her wand and theatrically blew the tip as if there was smoke coming out of it.

"In my classes," Snape said annoyed "you _work_, you do not _socialize._"

Draco walked up to Harry and drew his wand, "Scared Potter?" Draco smirked.

Harry too drew his wand, "You wish."

"_Rictumsempera!_" Draco shouted slashing his wand forward in a slight spiral.

"_Portego!_" Harry shouted back almost immediately.

"Two minutes left," Snape called out to the class in a dull voice.

"Hey Potter," Draco called out to Harry. Harry turned to face Draco and walked towards him.

"What do you want now, Malfoy?" Harry asked.

_To dance with you, _Draco thought. "What do you say we make this a little interesting?" Draco asked with a dangerous smile.

"You know what I've learned Malfoy?" Harry asked rolling his eyes.

"Not much?" Draco guessed.

Harry ignored him, "Not to trust a Slytherin."

"Whoever wins gets to top?"

"Deal," Harry said instantly causing Draco to laugh quietly.

"You're arse is mine Potter," Draco grinned.

"Bit cocky there," Harry commented and then blinked "shit we're supposed to be mortal enemies remember?"

"Oh right," Draco looked around "Merlin that's careless of us."

The class then assembled into a circle in the center of the room. Some pairs looking more confident than others. Harry watched as Snape selected Lavender and Blaise as the first pair to demonstrate how basic skills were used.

"Blaise is a genius at potions," Draco told Harry under his breath "but he can't wave a wand to save himself."

"Well Lavender…" Harry paused and then whispered "I'm not actually sure what she can do." Draco gave an involuntary snort but luckily no one noticed. Blaise began by sending a stunning spell towards Lavender who gave a loud squeal but still produced a sufficient shield charm. In turn she sent a bat-bogey hex straight at Blaise. Unfortunately for Blaise he ended up with a face full of bats and Merlin knows what else. With a wave of Snape's wand the hex was lifted off Blaise and the two joined the rest of their classmates in a circle.

"Any volunteers?" Snape asked as his eyes scanned the class. "No? Well then, perhaps…" Snape's black eyes found Harry's and sparked at the opportunity to target Harry "Ah yes Mr. Potter and your partner would be…?"

"Malfoy sir," Harry replied.

"Yes thank you Potter, I can answer for myself." Draco snapped and Harry glared at him. The two boys walked up to the platform at the front of the room which their classmates were all gathered around. They both raised their wands and waited tensely for the first move to be made.

"Three sickles on Harry," Pansy whispered to Blaise.

"Loyal friend you are," Blaise snorted "you're on."

"I'm in it to win it Zabini."

"You're both pathetic," Hermione whispered shaking her head.

"You need to loosen up Granger," Pansy noted.

"Maybe you need to tighten up," Hermione retorted.

"Oh trust me Granger," Blaise cut in "she's tight enough as it is."

"Ugh." Hermione huffed in disgust.

Harry made the first move.

"_Expelliarmus!_" he shouted.

With a flick of his wand Draco deflected the red light with a _crack_. "You're so predictable, Potter." Draco commented as he shook his head. Mere seconds had passed when Harry shouted out, "_Aguamenti!_" A strong jet of water blasted out from Harry's wand and shot Draco right in the chest. The gush of water hosed Draco down for a good five seconds before it subsided, leaving Draco soaked and in shock.

"Predictable am I?" Harry smirked.

Draco aimed at Harry's wand, "_Evanesco!_"

"_Protego!_" Harry exclaimed just in time.

"_Stupefy!_" Both boys shouted at the same time. A burst of purple light shot out of both their wands and joined when they hit in the center space between them. Harry's wand began to vibrate as they both fought for the win. Harry's hair rustled in the breeze the jet of purple was creating. Draco tensed his arms and used sheer willpower to keep the spell strong. Whoever held on the longest would win. Mutually, they remembered the bet that they had made. Excited whispers broke out among the class as Harry and Draco both held onto their wands in determination. It was a fine match; two competitive boys. The most competitive when put up against one another. That's why it came as a shock to the whole class when the synchronized decision to lower their wands came from both the Slytherin and the Gryffindor. The purple light began to dim and fade. Snape, who was not about to admit how entertained he had just been, looked at both boys and began to walk over.

Without warning Draco spun back around to face Harry, sending a few droplets of water flying and shouted, "_Expelliarmus!_" Harry's wand flew out of his hand and he was left standing there in shock.

"Sir, I think you should add 'not letting down your guard until the duel has officially finished' to your basics list." Draco suggested with a cocky smirk, despite his robes being soaked.

"I was under the impression that that wasn't basic but in fact common sense," Snape smiled horribly "but it seems that Mr. Potter here has proved us wrong. Ten points to Slytherin. Class dismissed."

The class gathered their books and headed for the door way.

"I won," Blaise smiled haughtily to Pansy "cough up Parkinson."

"You bet on Potter?" Draco demanded in amazement.

"Oi Potter!" Pansy called out "You owe me three sickles!"

"How?" Harry asked confusedly as he walked over to Pansy.

"Because you lost you idiot."

"Wait…you bet on me…over Draco?" Harry asked, a big smile spreading over his face "That's not worth three sickles Parkinson, that's _priceless_."

Draco stuck up his finger at Harry. Harry turned to leave when he felt a note being slipped into his robe pocket he collected his books and headed for the common room. On the way he opened the note which read:

_Simply because I am better than you I unsurprisingly won today. Meet me in the Room of Requirement at 9:00pm. I think we should incorporate today's lesson in 'going back to basics'…_

_Love_

_D._

'Going back to basics', Harry didn't even know what Draco was implying by that but he could imagine the exact tone his boyfriend would have said that in and that was what turned him on beyond belief. Dinner was at 7:00 and it was now 3:30, five and a half hours and…chills ran down Harry's spine as he shuddered in pleasure. The best thing about planning these things was that you knew when it was going to happen, where it was going to happen and thinking about how it was going to happen. Harry walked closer to the portrait hole with sex being the only thing on his mind like an overly hormone driven teenager that had just discovered it.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

In Gryffindor common room the students were relieved that the week was over. Arm chairs were filled, the fireplace was surrounded by students, the tables supported board games and everyone was doing something.

In the corner a group of sixth years and Ginny sat and relaxed enjoying their Friday evening.

"What a week," yawed Seamus. The others grunted and made other sounds of agreement. "and it's only the start of October."

"How about that class with Snape today?" Parvati asked.

"It was horrible," grumbled Dean.

"Only because I body-binded your arse," Parvarti interjected to which Dean gave her a face.

"How were your classes today?" Dean asked Ginny.

"All the same," Ginny shrugged "every teacher finishes their sentences with _'and that is why you need to study for your OWLs'_."

"I forgot you had your OWLs this year Ginny," Neville said looking up from his herbology book.

"One day they'll create a charm that does all your homework perfectly without you doing as much as waving your wand and saying a few words." Ginny sighed.

"You sound just like Ron," Hermione smiled shaking her head and then her smiled faded and she looked at Harry who had previously turned his head so he wouldn't catch her gaze.

"Quidditch is coming up," Harry mentioned.

"You're captain aren't you Harry?" Neville asked.

"Yeah," Harry sighed "I hope I can manage it, it's a big responsibility."

"Harry you're perfect for the role," Hermione told him "you'll be just fine."

"She's right," Ginny joined in as she rested her head against Dean's shoulder "with you as captain we're bound to have a decent team and a decent chance at the cup."

Harry smiled a little bashfully, "Thanks guys."

"So are you going to try out Seamus?" Dean asked. As the boys engrossed themselves in the many topic branches of Quidditch Hermione looked at Harry meaningfully and looked over at the stairs to the boys' dormitory.

She leaned over and whispered into Harry's ear, "Go and fix it Harry."

Harry knew she was right. Even though he was mad at Ron he couldn't stay mad forever.

"Please," she mouthed.

Harry sighed. "Okay," he mouthed back. Hermione gave him a small smile as he got up off the floor and headed to the stair case. He walked up the stairs and thought about how their previous argument had gone. Both boys had been angry and Harry was determined to resolve this before he and Draco met up, he wanted to be at peace with himself and Ron. He walked through the door and saw Ron lying on his bed reading a Chudley Cannons magazine. Ron looked over the booklet and saw Harry. Harry went to sit over on the edge of his bed. Harry wanted to get this over with, he was sick of not having Ron as a friend.

"I came to apologise," he began looking over at Ron who had put down his magazine and heaved himself up into a sitting position "about what happened after the party. I started shouting at you even though I knew that you didn't know how I felt about what you did. I felt really angry and fearful and hurt but that isn't an excuse. I'm seventeen and I should know better. It was my job to tell you how I felt about what you did and how your choices affected me and I went about it the wrong way. I'm sorry."

Ron averted his eyes to the ground and then swung his legs onto the floor so that he was sitting on the edge of the bed like Harry.

"I'm sorry to," Ron finally said "at the time I didn't know that what I said would have hurt you Harry, I honestly didn't. I guess I was given an opportunity to ask you where you would have had to answer back like you've been avoiding all summer. I really felt like you didn't trust me because you didn't tell me. I know now that it isn't about that. It took me a while to imagine myself in your place when I asked you that question under the truth charm. It took me a while to realise that I what I did was really, really wrong. I acted like a git –"

"You did,"

"–and I'm sorry." Ron looked up at Harry and extended a hand. "Are we good?" he asked.

Harry considered Ron's hand. Instead of shaking it he stood up and embraced Ron, which took him off guard completely. Nevertheless Ron who was still bemused hugged Harry in return and then Harry said, "Yeah, we're good."

Ron smiled at him gratefully.

"Come on," Harry said and he walked towards the door "let's go downstairs." The two boys walked down and joined the rest of the group in the corner. Hermione beamed at them as they sat down next to her. To avoid awkwardness no one brought up the fact that Ron and Harry had solved their dispute. Ron looked over at a small group of first years playing a Quidditch board game.

"I've forgotten what that was like," he mused "to be that young, to not have to worry about anything except your assignments."

"I can't remember a time where I worried about normal things a person my age worried about." Harry thought out aloud.

"There are times where I think that we all just need to let it all go," Hermione said wisely "all the hardships, the entire adult world, all the complications and just be students who go to school." She closed her book and brought rested Ron's head in her lap.

"If only that were possible…" Harry sighed. He closed his eyes and said, "Do you even just not want to do it anymore? All the hard stuff? Sometimes I just want to do things that don't have a consequence. I don't mean breaking rules, I mean doing things for you."

In knowing that you think I'd find a person that would give me as little complication as possible, Harry thought.

"All the time mate," Ron said exhaling loudly "all the time. It's just this war, you know? It's messing everyone up. Everyone's on edge, waiting for something to happen, waiting for something to go wrong instead of enjoying the time that they have."

"We're being forced to grow up before we're ready," Hermione said quietly and she brushed her fingers through Ron's hair "I pick up a book and sometimes I can't even concentrate because my mind just branches off into things that aren't my job to worry about but I find myself worrying about them anyway because…" she trailed off exhaling in frustration.

Harry had almost forgotten about Ginny, Dean, Seamus and Neville when Ginny said, "It makes it so much more real when we start off by talking about average school work and we end up talking about a war." Everyone nodded in thoughtful agreement.

"I worry about my family," Neville admitted "because I know I won't join _his_ side because it's the easy option and that that they might get hurt because of my choices."

"Me too," Seamus agreed.

"My mum's a muggle," Dean said "I know what could happen to her. I don't think about it because facing it is hard but I know I can't ignore it forever. I worry about Ginny too–"

Ginny raised her eyebrows, "Why?"

"When the time comes for everyone to choose a side publicly, they'll hurt anyone who's close to those people."

"Dean's right," Harry said quietly.

"I am perfectly capable of kicking someone's arse to save my own," Ginny told him sternly.

"I know," Dean smiled.

An hour later, Harry got up from the floor and turned to his friends, "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Harry it's past curfew!" Hermione reprimanded him.

"And?" Ginny snorted knowing full well that that wouldn't stop Harry.

"Sorry Hermione, we planned to meet up and I'm not going to stand them up." Harry explained.

Hermione rolled her eyes and then with a pained expression she said, "Fine." She pursed her lips and then, in a very Mrs. Weasley-ish way she added, "What time will you be getting back?"

"Do you want to tuck him in too, mother?" Ron laughed.

Harry rolled his eyes. "I don't know what time we'll..." he paused and then added awkwardly "…finish."

"He said 'I'll see you _tomorrow_'," Ron reminded Hermione "meaning he won't be coming back tonight."

"I'd hurry and leave before she whips out the contraception lecture," Ginny grinned.

Harry's eyes widened and he blushed. "Okay thank you everyone you can all stop discussing my events for tonight," Harry said quickly as his blush deepened.

"Now Harry," Seamus said imitating a teacher's voice "always remember, that when in a state of–"

"Okay I'm going now," Harry said loudly trying to drown out the rest of Seamus' sentence. He hurried over to the portrait hole. He was glad that he had worked out things with Ron. Harry headed for the seventh floor.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

In the Slytherin Common room the lounge area wasn't exactly deserted but it wasn't exactly full either. The dormitories were filled with groups of students their own age. Draco's dorm mates were Blaise and Nott. Their dorm was the smallest compared to the other Slytherin's but Draco didn't mind. Draco had transfigured their beds into couches. Blaise lounged across his black leather couch while Pansy sat on the floor and leaned against it. It always made Draco laugh how Pansy would just waltz into their dorm and place herself on Blaise's bed. She's on it often enough, Draco thought a tad sourly. He and Nott had become friends rather than acquaintances this year due to the many they had had to share a couch in the common room because Pansy and Blaise had magically locked the dorm door. Sometimes Draco worried whether they kept their activities to _just_ Blaise's bed…

"I need a rape alarm because all this homework is screwing me over," Pansy complained.

"Thank Salazar Snape didn't give us any homework. I got enough from Flitwick." Blaise ran a hand through his hair. "Where's Nott?" Blaise asked.

"Still in the hospital wing," Draco answered a little guiltily.

"Would you stop looking at your watch," Pansy said shaking her head "you're making _me_ nervous."

"Sorry," Draco apologized and was once again consumed by thought.

"You did Potter's arse hard today," Blaise smirked.

Draco blinked and his head snapped up. "_What?_"

"You kicked Potter's arse today in defense," Blaise repeated.

"Oh," Draco said a little relieved "yes well, I don't know what he's boasting about, he doesn't possess one ounce of advanced skill."

"He can be such a cocky bastard," Pansy said with a mean edge to her voice.

"I agree with Draco," Blaise said "Potter's nothing special."

"He thinks that scar on his head makes him superior," Draco spat "I think it makes me sick."

"What do you think he'd be like," Pansy wondered out loud "if he didn't have anything. His scar, his title, he little fan club, if he had parents?"

Draco gave a humorless laugh, "He'd still be an arrogant prick."

"I'm sick of fucking waiting for them to get their act together," Pansy hissed the sudden change of topic shocking the two boys momentarily, they both reprimanded themselves for not being used to Pansy's sudden mood swings by now "why doesn't this bloody war just start already?"

"It has," Blaise told her "it started years ago, it's just in remission."

"You make it sound like an illness," Pansy said in an accusing sort of way.

"It's going to kill a lot of people," Blaise explained truthfully.

"Not the good ones," Draco said quietly but he might as well have used a _sonorus_ charm. In that context the harshness of Draco's words stunned the other two for a moment, Draco that that's what they were thinking, he was just brave enough to say it out loud. "Think about it," he said "we choose the right side, we play by the rules and we don't get hurt. And then we watch as the world around us is purified. We're Slytherins, I think we can manage it."

"He's all that stands in the way," Draco said not realizing that he had unintentionally brought the conversation back to Harry as he had done so many times throughout the years.

"Do you think the Dark Lord can do it?" Blaise asked "Do you think he can actually kill Potter this time?"

"Like you said before," Draco shrugged "Potter's nothing special."

"The Dark Lord though," Pansy said in an almost purring sort of tone "he's powerful. He could have anything he wants…any_one_ he wants."

Blaise looked at her disbelievingly, "Are you serious?"

"No, I don't mean me!" Pansy's face screwed up in revolution and then she looked at Draco and grinned "But that aunty of yours…"

Draco rolled his eyes, "I know." He was very much aware that Bellatrix's husband was merely a display model; Draco couldn't even use the word 'toy' because he knew that Rodolphus wasn't even used for that. Voldemort was the one who Bellatrix's heart belonged to. He pitied her in a way because even he knew that the Dark Lord was incapable of love.

"She looks as deprived as I do on the week I have my period," Pansy grinned.

I don't understand what she sees in that evil son of a bitch, Draco thought. However this wasn't allowed to be his answer. "I've never asked but I'm sure it's hard for her," he thought out aloud "to be in a marriage where she is unhappy."

Harry's response would have been, you should ask her. However the response he got was, "Yeah, I guess." He looked at his watch again and how the hands moved painfully slow. All he wanted to do was be with Harry, feel Harry's lips on his, entwine his fingers into Harry's…

"Hey lover boy," Pansy called out "snap out of it!" she turned to Blaise and asked, "Who is he going to see?"

"How should I know?" Blaise said defensively.

"Because you're his best friend!"

"I don't know! He's bloody discreet about it, he doesn't talk in his sleep and even when he's awake he doesn't talk about it!"

"Draco bloody hell!"

"What did I do now?" Draco exclaimed.

"That's the problem!" Pansy exclaimed back "You're doing _someone_ and I don't know who!"

"Good," Draco said crisply as he found a more comfortable sitting position on the couch.

"No it's not," Pansy grumbled.

"How do you sleep with her, she's so whiny?" Draco asked Blaise in amazement.

"I do things that make her shut up," Blaise grinned mischievously.

"Bullshit," Draco laughed "I'm kicked out onto the couch and it's not that far from the dorm and ask Nott if you don't believe me, Pansy _doesn't _shut up. In fact she gets louder."

"There's nothing wrong with being an expressive person who is in touch with her emotions," Pansy said. There was a moments silence…and then Draco and Blaise erupted into laughter. Blaise nearly rolled off his couch and Draco clutched his for support. Pansy crossed her arms and gave them both a stern look, "It's not funny…I'm _serious_!" This only made them laugh even harder. It took a while for both boys to exit their hysterical state before they sat up normally and faced Pansy's glare.

"Sorry Pans," Draco said as he wiped his eyes.

"That was hilarious," Blaise sighed in a happy tone.

An hour and a half later, Draco looked at his watch for what seemed the thousandth time that night.

"…and that bitch from Ravenclaw," Pansy exclaimed "you know what she needs? A decent slap."

"She's not as bad as guy from Hufflepuff that looks like he's got a wand shoved up his arse…what's his name?" Blaise asked.

"Kelksy?"

"Kelksy, that's it! He sits next to me in ancient ruins and under Salazar's restraint I'm sure, I didn't hex him somehow."

"I can't stand annoying people," Pansy shook her head in exasperation "I don't have time for people whose heads are with the hippogriffs. Like bloody Gryffindors."

"Don't even get me bloody started on Gryffindors," Blaise warned.

"Oh I'm so over them," Pansy half hissed "they're so fucking arrogant. I swear to Merlin sometimes I expect a horse to run past so that they can hop on and charge into battle. They think they're better than everyone and it pisses me off. Potter leads the lot of them. 'The Chosen One'…yes well, I choose for him to take a long walk off a short pier."

Draco quickly ran a hand through his hair and ruffled his fringe slightly. He picked up his wand and loosened his tie a little more. Then he got up off the couch and transfigured it back into his bed.

"I'm going," he told them "I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Don't get caught!" Blaise called out to him.

"Get in there," Pansy winked.

Draco shut the door and walked out, "More like get _on_ there." Then he stopped and realised the bet that he had won. "Oh," he smiled naughtily to himself "I am getting _in_ there." Draco headed for the seventh floor.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry stood in front of the wall in the seventh floor corridor. He closed his eyes and willed the door to appear. He opened his eyes and walked towards the door handles. Harry looked around making sure no one was watching before he slipped inside of the Room of Requirement, shutting the door silently behind him. He turned around and to his surprise saw no bed. However as he lowered his eyes he saw a wooden floor with a think, satin blanket in the center. On the blanket sat Draco, leaning back on his hands with one knee up and one leg out straight, Harry saw nothing else but him.

"Good evening," Draco said giving Harry a nod.

Harry walked over and sat down next to Draco giving him a peck on his lips, "Hey."

Shifting around Draco lay back on the blanket and Harry lay down beside him.

Draco rolled onto his side so that he could see Harry more clearly. Harry turned his head toward Draco as the Slytherin moved his hands gently through the Gryffindor's hair. Harry closed his eyes.

"How was your night?" Draco asked softly.

Harry let out a content sigh, "I decided that not to avoid conflict anymore."

"Is that so?"

"I worked everything out with Ron," Harry explained "he apologized and so did I. I'm glad that that's all over and we're friends again."

"_You_ apologized?" Draco asked "For _what_?"

"For getting angry so quickly," Harry replied but he opened his eyes and saw Draco's dissatisfied face and added "and for yelling."

"You're such a noble bloody Gryffindor," Draco said shaking his head.

"Yes but I'm _your_ noble bloody Gryffindor," Harry teased.

Draco smiled, "Yes you are." He brought his face lower to meet Harry's and gave his Gryffindor a long and slow kiss.

Harry tilted his head up slightly, changing the angle of the kiss and deepening it. He opened his mouth allowing Draco's tongue to trace his bottom lip and then delve into his mouth. Draco took control of the situation and broke the kiss momentarily allowing him to swing his leg over Harry's body so that he was standing up on his knees that were either side of Harry's waist. Harry sat up, using his arms to prop him, and met Draco into an eager kiss.

"When you say _going back to basics_," Harry said as they broke away for air "I hope you mean you'll _basically_ be thrusting into me the whole time."

Draco laughed and shook his head in amazement. "I top _once_ and I've already got you begging."

"I'm not begging," Harry told him with a frown.

"But I could make you beg…" Draco replied huskily.

Harry knew without a doubt that the Slytherin could have him begging in seconds, "No you couldn't."

Draco, who was on his knees, lowered himself so that he sat straddling Harry. He ground his hips against Harry's groin. Once…twice…three times…

Harry bit his lip and moaned.

"Still sure I couldn't make you beg?" Draco smirked.

"You want my arse?" Harry asked breathlessly. Something gleamed in Draco's grey eyes. "Don't tease me." _Because I'll cum in a heartbeat_, Harry finished the sentence in his head.

"Blackmail?" Draco asked, a grin spreading on his face and then noted "That's incredibly Slytherin of you." He slowly began unbuttoning Harry's shirt and ran his hands along Harry's smooth chest. "What if I _did_ tease you?" Draco asked innocently

Harry caught onto Draco's mood immediately. "You'd have quite some _nerve_ to do that," Harry began hooking his fingers in the belt-loops on Draco's jeans "if I'm not mistaken that would make you very Gryffindor."

"We can't have that now can we?"

"Not at all."

Draco ground into Harry again, making Harry lose his track of thought.

"I want you so bad," Harry moaned as he felt himself go hard under Draco's dry thrusts "I want you in me." These words went straight to Draco's cock which was now painfully hard and making his jeans very tight.

"Do you want to know what I'm doing to you tonight?" Draco asked Harry. Beneath him, Harry nodded. "Well usually we just prepare with charms," Draco began "but I want to do it without magic."

"You want to do it the muggle way?" Harry asked surprised as he knew that Draco thoroughly disliked muggles.

"I want to do it _without magic_, yes." Draco verified making emphasis in not referring to muggles.

"But you're still going to clean me with magic though?"

"Yes," Draco replied.

"Okay," Harry nodded "but before you start…" Harry pulled Draco down and placed his hand at the back of Draco's neck and kissed him. Draco entwined his fingers into Harry's dark hair. It then became a race against time as they removed each other's clothes. Harry's shirt was the first thing to go as well as Draco's.

Harry struggled to get Draco's black jeans off, "You and these blasted straight legs."

Draco pointed his toes to make it easier for the jeans to slide off. Harry looked a briefly at Draco but then did a double take. Draco was lying on the floor but propped up on his elbows and forearm. His black jeans contrasted with his white blonde hair and pale skin. _Fuck_, Draco was just so _hot_. Harry's cock throbbed.

"Yeah, but they look hot." Draco reasoned with a knowing smirk.

The rest of their clothes came at an alarming speed. As they lay there together, naked, Draco whispered, "Are you ready?" Harry nodded, never being more sure of himself.

Draco picked up his Hawthorn wand and waved it using a non-verbal spell. Harry shuddered pleasantly as the cleansing spell tingled inside him for a few seconds before subsiding. Draco waved his wand again and this time and conjured up a bottle of lubricant. He opened the bottle and coated two fingers and brought them slowly to Harry's entrance.

The feeling was still new to Harry and as much as he wanted to he couldn't yet shake of the feeling of intrusion. Draco carefully slid one finger slowly into Harry. Reflexively, Harry tensed.

Draco looked up at him. "Sorry," Harry swallowed. He took a deep breath and let himself relax. He trusted Draco.

Draco pulled his finger out. "I'm going to add another one in," he told Harry, silently asking for permission. Harry nodded and Draco put two fingers in him. Once Harry had learnt to hold back the impulses to tense it was so much easier to enjoy his boyfriend's finger inside him. Draco began scissoring him. He added a third finger inside Harry as he stretched the raven. Draco curled his fingers upwards, hitting Harry's prostate. To Draco's amazement Harry loosened considerably around his fingers.

"Shit Draco," Harry gasped.

"Well that worked," Draco chuckled to himself. He curled his finger up again causing Harry to grab handfuls of the blanket they were lying on. After another few minutes of this Draco pulled his fingers out and told Harry, "You're ready now."

"I'm yours," Harry said simply, looking into the blonde's grey eyes. Draco grabbed the bottle of lube and squeezed some into his hand. He covered the length of his cock with it and pumped his hand up and down a few times making sure it was evenly spread. He positioned himself at Harry's entrance and gradually entered Harry until he was fully immersed in the Gryffindor. Draco closed his eyes and moaned; Harry was so warm and tight.

"I understand you want to go back to basics," Harry panted "but this isn't the first time that we've had sex so can you please do something because I'm hard and throbbing here."

It was like a fire had ignited under Draco. He thrust his hips forward. It was amazing how every thrust brought more pleasure and Draco's body seemed to know this as it felt like his thrusts were becoming an uncontrolled action like breathing rather than a choice being made. Harry thrusted his hips too, meeting Draco.

"Yeah, yes, ugh…m-more, ahh, Dr-Drac-oohh…" Harry moaned incoherently.

"Merlin, I love the sounds that you make." Draco groaned. He lowered himself down to Harry and with his tongue traced over Harry's scar. Harry's eyelids shuddered as the different angle shot new feelings coursing through his body.

"Oh Godric shit yes, do that again." Harry cried out. Draco pounded into Harry's arse and at the same time brought his mouth over to Harry's, not even bothering with his lips Draco slid his tongue straight into Harry's mouth. Harry responded eagerly, moaning in Draco's mouth. Much to Harry's dislike, Draco broke away. He reached over for the bottle of lube and squeezed a generous amount into his palm and began to work Harry's cock in time to his own thrusts.

Harry had lost all sense. Only the feeling of where the Slytherin was touching his mattered.

"Harry you feel so good around my cock," Draco said, his voice shaking. He continued to pump his hand up and down Harry's cock and even began palming his balls. Their thrusting became desperate as each man drew closer to his release. The feeling began building up with in them, that warm, hot feeling that promised amazing ecstasy.

"Harry I'm not going to – ughh – last much l-longer," Draco warned.

"I'm almost there," Harry said as his head arched back in pleasure "I'm…so close. Oh shit yes."

Harry gripped Draco's hand which was working furiously on his cock and pumped his hand up and down with Draco.

"H-Harry!" Draco exclaimed. Harry opened his eyes and saw Draco's expression moments before he came. Draco bit his bottom lip – this sent Harry over the edge.

"FUCK!" Draco cried, his blonde hair falling into his eyes. He almost buckled under the feeling that was pulsating through him. He felt completely owned to his orgasm as it took over him. Harry spasmed around Draco's cock and shot cum over Draco's hand and chest. Whilst riding out his own blissful state Draco squeezed Harry's cock.

"D-Draco," Harry cried out.

"Come on baby," Draco crooned "I know there's one more in there for me."

Draco's tone unlocked some sort of hidden door with in Harry and before he knew what was happening he was cumming again. Load after load Harry shot. He thrusted into Draco's hand and let the sounds rip through him, taking control of him.

Draco collapsed on top of Harry.

"No…energy…" Draco panted. Harry ran his fingers through Draco's blonde hair.

"You made me cum _twice_," Harry sighed in blissful amazement.

"Of course I did," Draco said, as if he expected nothing less of his greatness "I'm a sex god."

"We need to do this again…and sooner rather than later."

When Draco didn't reply Harry gently whispered, "Draco? Draco?" Still no answer. Harry smiled affectionately at the Slytherin. "You're something totally different but that's why I love you. You're so amazing, I don't know how I got so lucky to have you in my life. I love having you in my arms." Harry whispered quietly.

"I love being in your arms." Draco replied sleepily.

Harry's face burned, "I thought you were asleep!"

"Yes well, you need to _think _like a Slytherin."

"Cunning little bastard," Harry smiled.

"I _am _amazing though," Draco noted and Harry snorted "You're not _that_ lucky to have me. But I'm lucky to have you, very lucky. So many times you've almost died, or been hurt and every time you hold me I need to be thankful that you're here at all. Sometimes I think that I don't appreciate you enough. You're the one person that I can just be me with, the one person that won't judge me, the one person that _understands me_. But tell me, totally different how?"

Harry lay there speechless. He was completely stunned by Draco's emotion-baring statement that he rarely every got to see.

"_That's _how you're different," Harry finally said regaining the ability of speech "you're so independent and strong and protective. You're smart and careful. You're always three steps ahead of people, you're constantly analyzing things. You're quietly confident. That's you on the outside. But on the inside, it's like discovering a whole new person. You have this ability to control your emotions, to control your thoughts, to control your actions, to control the things around you. That's something I've never been able to do. But you have this great insight, you can read people and because you're so observant you have that insight. You can be so bluntly truthful at times. I really love you. Everything about you, I love all of it."

There was a peaceful silence.

"You still awake?" Harry asked, concerned that Draco had fallen asleep during his revelation.

Draco kissed his chest, "Yeah I'm awake."

It was a lovely, serene feeling that Draco had in knowing that Harry knew him so well. Even more than his parents perhaps. However it was also a little scary…did Harry know him well enough to know that he was hiding something?

They fell asleep contently in each other's arms.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Parting with each other as the sun came up was extremely hard. Especially since they could barely get a piece of clothing on as they kept stopping to kiss. At one point Draco had Harry up against the wall with Harry's leg hooked up and around Draco's.

"We've got to go," Harry said in between kisses.

"I don't want to," Draco moped a little.

"Neither do I," Harry said taking Draco's hand "but I'm _starving_."

"Eat me," Draco winked.

"As delectable as you are…I need some solid food." Harry said gravely.

"Babe I'm as solid as you're going to get," Draco said biting Harry's earlobe.

"I'm always up for sucking lollipops," Harry said in Draco's ear "but I'm just not going to have time to finish it before class."

"Harry," Draco whined, tugging at the waist line of Harry's jeans.

"Do you ever shut up? I think I need keep that mouth of yours busy."

"What were you thinking of putting in there?" Draco looked lustfully into Harry's eyes.

"Dear Godric you're unstoppable!" Harry pressed his mouth against Draco's. Their lips moved hungrily. They began using their teeth to nip each other's earlobes. Harry licked down Draco's neck. Draco sucked of Harry's bottom lip. They continued to snog each other as they pressed hard up against the wall.

Finally they found themselves in the midst of the Great Hall, everyone else completely unaware that something between two boys – a Gryffindor and a Slytherin – had happened last night.

"Sooooo," Pansy waggled her eyebrows as she sat down next to Draco "how was last night?"

"Pansy," Draco hissed "not here!"

"You're no fun," Pansy pouted and then poked him with her elbow.

"Last night was fine." Draco said shortly, hoping she's drop the subject.

"_Just_ fine?" Pansy asked. Draco groaned and realised that Pansy wouldn't drop the subject unless she got what she was looking for.

"Fine. Last night was seriously amazing. And it was…really special too…" Draco trailed off but then added "now shut up."

"Awww!" Pansy quietly squealed. She grabbed his cheeks with her hand and squished them together.

"Ged da fuh offee ow." He hissed removing her hands.

"But you're so cute!"

Draco looked at her, appalled. "Malfoy's are _not_ cute."

"They are now,"

Over the other side of the Great Hall Harry and Ron sat next to each other eating breakfast and Hermione sat across from them.

"Harry," Hermione sighed "the food isn't going to vanish; you don't have to inhale your food."

Harry swallowed. "Sorry," he said "I'm just trying to replenish my energy…I don't want to be falling asleep in transfiguration."

"What time did you go to bed?" Hermione asked seriously.

"I don't know," Harry said awkwardly "we di-, I mean I didn't keep track of the time."

"Sorry I'm late," Ginny said as she sat down next to Hermione. Ginny passed Harry a note over the table. It had Harry's name written on the front and Harry recognized Draco's hand writing immediately. Unaware that Ron was on looking Harry opened the note.

_Best sex ever. _

Harry barely had time to grin to himself before Ron exclaimed, "You had sex with my sister Harry? What the fuck?" Ron looked at him with bulging eyes. Ginny had passed him the note and therefore Ron assumed she wrote it. _Bloody hell_, Harry thought.

"What?" Ginny cried "Harry's never even touched me! Are you still seei– is this about Cho again?" Cho Chang who happened to be sitting adjacent to Harry on the Ravenclaw table turned around at hearing her name.

"Sorry?" She asked.

"Did you send Harry a note?" Ron asked.

"A note?" Cho asked confused "I've been studying for my NEWTs, I haven't spoken to Harry in months." She gave them an apologetic smile.

Luna Lovegood who had been sitting next to Cho turned around and said dreamily, "It looks like you've got some explaining to do Harry, good luck with that."

Harry buried his head in his hands.

"What did the note even say?" Ginny asked.

"It said _'Best sex ever'_" Ron replied.

"Ron," Hermione shook her head and sighed "if Harry and Ginny really did…well if they did _that_, she wouldn't hand Harry that note where you could read it."

"I guess so," Ron said, not sure whether to be relieved Harry didn't have sex with his sister or grumpy that he didn't think of what Hermione said before.

"Who _gave_ the note to you Ginny?" Hermione asked but then looked at Harry and reconsidered whether or not she should have asked.

"Hannah Abbot gave it to me," Ginny obviously didn't think that Hannah was the one who wrote it because she added "but I'm not sure who gave it to her." Ginny looked around at Harry, Hermione and Ron and said, "And I don't think it's a good idea that we go and find out."

"I agree," Hermione nodded.

"I completely agree," Harry muttered. They all looked at Ron.

"Yeah alright, alright…I agree." He mumbled to his eggs and bacon.

There was a bit of time where none of them spoke. However Ginny broke the silence.

"Best sex ever huh?" she asked Harry mischievously.

"_Ginny!_" Hermione and Ron both reprimanded.

"Sorry," Ginny rolled her eyes playfully.

Harry gave a small laugh; his friendship with Ginny was very different to that of Hermione and Ron's.

"Gin, you have _no_ idea." Harry said biting him bottom lip slightly, recalling last night's events.

"_Harry!_" Hermione and Ron repeated.

"Sorry," Harry smiled ruefully.

Ginny lowered her voice a little to avoid Ron and Hermione's telling off, "How many?"

"_Twice_," Harry had to stop himself from moaning the heavenly word.

"_Twice?_" Ginny asked her mouth opening wide and then she grinned "are you serious? Twice in one go?"

"Gin, you have _no_ idea." Harry repeated. He closed his eyes and then opened them just to prove his point. "Best sex _ever_."

"_Guys!_" Ron and Hermione protested.

"Sorry!" Ginny and Harry both winced slightly.

As breakfast ended with alarming speed so did the month. November seemed to fly past, taking the students of Hogwarts by surprise. No one knew what the future held except for fate. And he seemed to be looking at the future as the past, sometimes laughing at the cruel things that were to happen. Draco was unaware of the fact that every moment he spent with Harry would be treasured because as time went by Voldemort's task wouldn't fade away. Harry was unaware that many challenges would soon face him; some involving friends, some involving school and some involving his future. However still under the pressure of school work was the pressure of appearance. The secret lives of the Gryffindor and the Slytherin. The unfair timing of the question 'when would they tell?' loomed above them, never letting up. The weather started to become colder. As the lake froze over and the snowflakes fell, Harry wished he could hold hands with Draco and walk down into the snow, make snow angels. And Draco? Draco wanted to go someplace where neither of them would be known or questioned…Draco wanted to ask Harry to _dance _with him…

**If I don't update before Christmas, I hope you all have a lovely Christmas filled with love, friendship, joy and compassion. Cherish and be thankful for all the wonderful people and things in your lives. Please all keep safe! **_**Merry Christmas**_

**Please Review!**

**p.s What flashbacks would you like to see (moments before the series began)?**


	10. The Christmas Tree

**A/N:**** I didn't know when I first began writing the happiness that it would bring to me. Not only has Drarry brought a smile to my face but all of you have too. I want to dedicate this chapter to all the wonderful people that read this story and taken the time and effort to make a connection with it and with me. I haven't been able to really share my thoughts and feelings and exciting moments of Brave Ambition with my family, because of my age and real fear that they'd stop me writing it, but I have been able to share it with you all and that has been the best gift. **

**So my Christmas gift to you all is this Christmas chapter. I even wrapped it up in My Biggest Chapter So Far wrapping paper and tied it up with a bow that cost me six days and five hours out of my sanity savings account. **

**But you're all very worth it. So from the very bottom of my heart thank you for this year and have a very Merry Christmas, eat ridiculous amounts, suck on candy canes while pretending that it's Draco's wand, love everyone and above all…Keep Calm and Drarry on. **

**Merry Christmas xx**

**CHAPTER 10**

**THE CHRISTMAS TREE**

The four Gryffindors sat in the train compartment as the train was only a few minutes from Kings Cross station.

"Harry you simply _must_ see the Eiffel Tower," Hermione said dreamily to Harry.

"I don't actually know where we're going Hermione," Harry reminded her.

"It doesn't matter, think of all the possibilities! Imagine if you went to…" As Hermione went on Harry looked at Ginny who had her head against the window. He wondered what was wrong. He caught her eye and gave a small worried frown. Ginny gave a small shake of her head. She then took a big breath and put on a smile. Now Harry was really worried.

"…you're so lucky Harry, I'd love to spend Christmas travelling on the Eurostar." Hermione said leaning back into the seat.

"So remind me what this thing is?" Ron asked.

"It's a muggle train that goes to heaps of places in Europe. You sleep on their too because the trips can be something like eighteen hours at a time. I'm pretty sure we're stopping in a few places for a few days and then reboarding." Harry explained.

"Sounds expensive," Ron commented.

"I don't really know how much it is," Harry replied truthfully and then added "but we'll split it in half." Harry mentally groaned he really didn't want to have that argument with Draco as he knew the Slytherin wouldn't let him pay his half without a decent berating.

"You've told mum right?" Ron asked.

"Yeah," Harry sighed "she wasn't too happy about it, what with not knowing who I'm going with."

"What are you looking forward to the most?" Ginny asked him as Hermione started to plait a small section of her hair.

"Um…heaps of things," Harry answered.

Ginny rolled her eyes, "Give us one."

"Okay well…" Harry looked around thoughtfully and gave a shy smile "holding hands."

Ron, Hermione and Ginny all looked up at him. Then Ginny and Hermione exchanged looks.

"Well that's not the only thing," Harry said quickly but the girls' expression didn't change. "What?" Harry asked them.

"That's it, we've lost him." Ginny said to Hermione.

"Completely," Hermione replied.

"What are you two going on about?" Harry looked at them both.

"You've fallen bad Harry," Ginny smiled at him.

"We're really happy for you Harry," Hermione told him warmly. The girls turned to Ron and looked at him expectantly.

Ron sat up. "You're looking forward to holding hands?" He asked in amazement "What about all the _food_?"

Ginny and Hermione groaned and returned back to their hair.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"Mrs. Weasley I'm fine really," Harry said for what seemed like the millionth time. He stood on platform seven with his bags with Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley.

"Got all your muggle money in order Harry?" Mr. Weasley asked him happily.

"All in my bag Mr. Weasley," Harry smiled back.

Hermione stepped forward and gave Harry a huge hug, "We'll see you next week Harry."

"Are we picking you up Harry?" Ron asked.

"No, I'm just going to Apparate over to the burrow."

"Do you need us to wait with you Harry?" Mrs. Weasley asked, concern colouring her tone.

"There's no need," Harry said as politely as he could.

"Are you sure? Becaus–"

"Mum," Ginny interrupted "Harry wants to wait by himself…let's go?"

Mrs. Weasley let out a sigh and then pulled Harry into an embrace. "Please be safe." She told him.

"I will Mrs. Weasley," Harry managed to say as he felt him lungs were being crushed "thank you." Harry turned to the others, "I'll see you soon."

"Have fun," Hermione beamed at him. She stopped and looked shocked for a second and then smiled at him, "Merry Christmas Harry."

The others all looked appalled that they too had forgotten that they wouldn't be able to wish Harry a merry Christmas. They all joined in and wished him a safe trip and a merry Christmas.

An hour later the train came. Harry picked up his bags and went to the door. He gave his ticket to the person waiting at the compartment door and he was directed to carriage 3, door number 23, seat seven. The man took his luggage and Harry stepped onto the train. A few minutes later he came to door 23 and looked up to find Draco, blonde and beautiful, lounging across the long seat. Harry simply leaned against the door way and rested his head on the frame, looking at Draco.

Draco looked up from the book he was reading; his eyes ran over Harry a few times, "Don't worry just keep leaning there, it's not like it's going to have an effect on me at all."

Harry gave his best seductive smile, "Don't worry just keep lounging across the seat with your knee bent and reading like the innocent person I know you aren't, it's not like it's going to have an effect on me at all."

Draco laughed. "Touché," he sat up as Harry closed the compartment door as well as the lace curtains over the door's glass.

"So," Harry said as he sat down as the train left Kings Cross Station "can you tell me we're where going now?"

"I _could_…" Draco emphasised the word. "But then what fun would that be? Maybe if you got down on your hands and knees and asked nicely…and then maybe while you're down there you could do a few other things too…" Draco trailed off suggestively.

"That's just too bad," Harry shook his head sadly, trying not to smile "I was going to tell you about…but oh well, I'm sure it can wait."

"You're becoming more and more Slytherin with all this blackmail you know," Draco told him.

"I guess you're just _rubbing off_ on me," Harry winked. There was silence as Draco bit his lip and looked at Harry yearningly.

"First we're going to Paris," Draco finally said "for two days. I've got a few things I'd like us to do."

"I've been ordered to see the Eiffel Tower by the way," Harry added.

"By who?"

"Hermione, she's been to France a few times."

"Well we _are_ going to the Eiffel Tower," Draco admitted "there are a few places I'd like to go to as well, Paris has amazing restaurants," Draco paused and then continued "and I'm taking you out somewhere tonight."

Harry was surprised by the excitement that rose in his stomach. "Say that again."

"I'm taking you out somewhere tonight…?" Draco repeated confusedly. Harry got up and went over to where Draco was sitting. Harry straddled Draco. "Say it again," Harry breathed.

"I'm taking you out somewhere tonight."Draco didn't know what the hell was happening but he was happy to go along with it. Harry wrapped his arms around Draco's neck. Draco tilted his head up meeting Harry in a kiss and at the same time brought his hands around to hold Harry's arse.

"I hope you know," Draco panted in between kisses "I'm planning on having sex with you every day."

"Uh huh," was all Harry could manage.

"And I hope you know," he kissed Harry hard again before finishing "that I'm planning on taking advantage of every situation."

"Draco?"Harry half gasped.

"Mhmm?" Draco replied sucking on Harry's bottom lip.

"Shut up and kiss me," Harry breathed heavily. Their kisses were so urgent that sometimes they missed their lips completely. Harry kissed hungrily along Draco's jaw and finally trailed down his neck, unbuttoning Draco's shirt as he went. Finally Harry opened up Draco's shirt and ran his tongue down the blonde's chest. Draco let out a moan and bucked his hips against Harry's. Harry licked across the skin just above Draco's jean-waistline. The blonde finally regained some normal thought and pulled Harry's thin jumper over his head. Draco ran his hands down Harry's chest before pulling off the t-shirt as well. Harry, who was straddling Draco on his knees, shifted position and wrapped his legs around Draco's waist, pressing the two tighter together. By this stage both boys were painfully hard. Somewhere between Harry sucking on Draco's lip and Draco sucking on Harry's nipples there was some silent mutual agreement that they would have sex later on that night. Their tongues slipped into each other's mouths giving them a reason to bring their faces even closer together. Harry thrusted his pelvis into Draco's over and over sending the most amazing feelings through the both of them. Draco turned and rolled over, putting Harry flat on his back with Harry's legs still wrapped around him. Now the one on top, Draco thrusted his hips to meet Harry's. The two let go completely with their mind and just let their bodies' feelings drive them. It was like their bodies recognised what brought the pleasure and it turned on its autopilot. They drove their hips together creating the most amazing friction and feeling to their crotches. No coherent words were spoken, just raw sounds. The thing that drove Harry crazy was the way Draco's breathes came out in sharp pants along with a moan; he knew that Draco was close because his pants and gasps became higher pitched. Just the pressure and the animalistic need to rub against each other brought them to their high. With a final few thrusts they came together with astounding timing.

Harry waved his wand and cleaned both of them. "I don't know what you call that," Draco said, trying to control his breathing "but that was incredible."

"Um…I pretty sure it's called dry sex," Harry paused "or dry humping, whatever you want to call it."

"That was actually really hot," Draco half moaned.

"_You're _actually really hot," Harry said kissing him a peck on the lips "hey do you have any lip balm? All the saliva dries out my lips."

Draco rolled his eyes. "And you say _I'm_ the female," he snorted but then added "can I use it after you?" Harry laughed and shook his head in wonder. He squeezed some out of the tube and rubbed it on his lips and then tossed it over to Draco. Harry went to lie down next to his topless boyfriend and rolled over into Draco's arms. "We've got an hour and a half until Paris," Draco told him throwing the lip balm onto the other seat "we've got a big day and night."

Harry took the hint and picked up Draco's arm and brought it around to his stomach. "See you in an hour and a half." He whispered. They quickly fell asleep in each other's arms as the train sped towards France.

Back at the Burrow Ron, Hermione and Ginny were in Ron's bedroom. "I wonder what Harry's doing?" Hermione said as she placed her jacket on Ron's bed.

Ginny snorted, not bothering to hide her laugh. "Yeah," Ron smirked "probably."

Draco opened his eyes sleepily and brought his other hand around, holding Harry tighter in his arms before falling back into the dreamlike world of sleep.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

The train arrived in Paris at two thirty pm. It had been a painfully awkward moment when the boys had been woken up by the poor carriage supervisor who was very embarrassed.

"Thank you for waking us up," Draco said sincerely, trying to make it as less awkward as possible "and…sorry about this..."

"Not at all sir," she said trying her best to smile although it came out as a sort of wince.

"I feel bad," Harry said as soon as she left.

"Don't," Draco said "she's just jealous that I have you all to myself." He winked at Harry and then said, "We've got to go."

They both collected their luggage from the belt in the under croft and took a silver taxi to their hotel. Meanwhile Draco gave him the background history. "The hotel we're staying at was built in 1911," Draco informed him "it's called the _Hotel Plaza Athenee_. Very prestigious. It's absolutely gorgeous."

"Does it have a big bed?" Harry asked.

"Of course, why?"

"That's all that matters," Harry winked.

They finally arrived outside of a tall hotel. The balconies had red flowers overflowing out of their porches. The walls were cream coloured and it had a big glass door as the entrance.

"Draco this place is beautiful," Harry admired aloud.

"I only choose beautiful things," Draco smiled at Harry. Harry took Draco's hand in his. "After we drop our stuff off in the room," Draco began "I want to go somewhere."

"As long as you're there, it'll be amazing." Harry replied.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry walked hand in hand with Draco with their scarves wrapped tightly around their necks. Harry had never seen anything like this place.

"This is _Jardin du Luxembourg_. It's a garden obviously. It was originally owned by the Duke of Luxembourg, hence the name. But if you look over there," Draco pointed into the distance "you can seem the _Palais du Luxembourg_. It was also owned by Marie de'Medici, the mother of King Louis XIII. The park was opened to the public in the 19th century. If we walk just a bit more we'll reach the _Grand Bassin_."

Harry was in wonder. Firstly by this winter wonderland. The grass was covered in snow and the naked trees had a thin cover of snow of its bare branches also. The fountains were a midnight blue colour. The palace looked like it was made for an ice queen. Secondly by how Draco was so educated in this.

"How do you know all this?" Harry enquired, his breath coming out as a cloud of vapour.

"I've read about it," Draco replied simply. It only occurred to Harry that Draco would get on really well with Hermione…if he gave her the chance…or if they ever came out.

"But…I thought you didn't like anything to do with muggles?" Harry asked feeling confused. He brought Draco's ice cold hand up to his cheek to try and warm it up.

"I don't like _muggles_," Draco explained "as in the actual people. But this here," he gestured to the garden around them with his free hand "it's part of the world. I take interest in the place I inhabit."

"But that doesn't make sense," Harry frowned "this was all built by _muggles_. The only reason this is here because of _muggles_."

Draco let out a sigh. "It's complicated," he finally said. Harry knew that if he hadn't been raised with the mantra that all muggles are filthy and worthless that Draco would appreciate all this to its full extent. Draco was obviously breaking away from his parents influence, it was clear as he to interest in the things that muggles did, or the things that muggles created. But Harry didn't want to ruin the moment with this conversation; it wasn't the time to have it.

"Fair enough," Harry nodded to which Draco was grateful.

They continued to walk through the snow, pointing at the marvellous fountains and architecture.

"I'd love to stay here longer with you," Draco said reluctantly "but it's already six o'clock and we have to get ready for tonight." Draco looked over and Harry, "And _no_…I'm not telling you where we are going."

Harry pouted. "Can you give me a clue?" He asked hopefully.

"Nope," Draco said giving Harry his other hand to warm up. "Merlin," he groaned "how are you so warm?"

"I'm just too hot," Harry smirked.

"Shut up and warm up my hands you cocky bastard," Draco replied, smirking.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

The room service had been an experience. In Harry's opinion, the best part was when Draco had dipped his finger in the chocolate sauce and licked it off, swirling his tongue around it. Draco had a shower first and came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist.

"Go and have a shower," Draco instructed "I need a cleansed and well exfoliated canvas." Harry walked into the bathroom and almost died. The shower in the shelf was covered with bottles filled with pore-cleansers, scrubs, masks, exfoliaters, soaps, shampoos, conditioners and Merlin knows what else. Harry stuck his head out of the bathroom doors.

"Since when do you use all this?" Harry asked as he picked up a bottle and noted the essential oils in them.

"Since I'm not sharing a bathroom with a dorm of straight males," Draco explained as he towel dried his hair.

"Point taken," Harry nodded.

Harry came out of the shower a good half an hour later. He towel dried his hair and applied the moisturiser that was on the shelf on his face. Figuring that he had nothing to lose he rubbed a different type of cream all over his body. He smelled his skin afterwards.

"Hmm," he nodded "that's actually nice." He stepped out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. Draco was at the mirror and Harry walked over and put on some underwear.

"What am I wearing?" Harry called out to Draco.

"Hold on, I'm coming." Draco turned around and walked over to Harry. Harry looked up and abruptly dropped whatever was in his hands.

"Keep still and look at me," Harry finally managed to say.

"What's wrong?" Draco asked looking worried.

"Shh," Harry waved. He stood there and took in Draco. Draco was wearing charcoal straight leg with a white shirt and a black Burberry jacket that had a pointed collar and pockets. He had black shoes that _had_ to be expensive. Not only did his clothes look immaculate but his face…it just took fucking hot to another level. Draco had black eye liner on and his pale skin seemed to have a luminous glow to it. He had dark green eye shadow on so you could just barely see it. He had black mascara on that highlighted his blonde eyelashes and he had skilfully transfigured his eyebrows a slight shade darker so you could actually seem them. His hair was another story in its own. His pale blonde hair usually fell straight, casually falling in his eyes. But he had straightened it in a way that made it look thicker, it was straightened in strips that went in all different downwards directions.

"I don't know why," Harry said slowly once he had regained the ability of speech "but I have never been more attracted to you than right now."

Draco blushed, he _actually_ blushed. He had been expecting a comment like 'you look hot,' or 'that's amazing,' but he hadn't been expecting something so…touching… that turned him on at the same time. _Maybe because he actually looks gay,_ Harry smirked inwardly.

"Get on the bed," Draco ordered "lie down flat facing up." Harry was more than happy to comply. Draco followed Harry onto the bed and sat straddling Harry.

"Accio bag," Draco said. The black bag zoomed towards Draco and he turned to Harry. "Harry Potter don't you dare get hard on me," Draco warned "I'm not ruining my face to suck you off. And you're not going to ruin my future masterpiece by breaking a sweat because you're doing yourself in the bathroom."

"How can you tell me not to get hard?" Harry exclaimed "You say my whole name in a tone that turns me on beyond belief, you put the image of you sucking me off in my head and I've got you, looking hot and absolutely fuckable, sitting on my crotch."

"Shut up and keep absolutely still," Draco told him.

Harry closed his eyes as Draco rubbed his fingers in circles on Harry's face. Harry felt a something smooth run along his eye lids.

"Open your eyes," Draco said softly, deep in concentration. He moved the eye pencil to under Harry's eye. Harry blinked and his eyes watered a bit. "Look up and stick your tongue out," Draco told him "that helps." Draco tried again and expertly drew under Harry's eye. He used his finger to smudge the area a bit. He then got out a brush as some dark metallic grey eye shadow and brushed over Harry's eyelids lightly, staying away from the top. Draco hopped off the bed and went to the shelf in the bathroom. "Don't look in any mirrors," he called out. He came back with a black tube. "Sit up for me," Draco said as he squeezed out the clear substance on his fingers. He sat back on the bed and rubbed it thoroughly through Harry's dark hair. He gelled Harry's fridge to the side and roughly messed the back section upwards.

Draco gave him a pair of black jeans with copper outline threading to put on. Along with a white t-shirt with French writing on it that clung tightly in all the right places and a silver jacket with copper streaks through it to put on also.

Harry looked in the mirror, his makeup was just enough, it look really, really good. Draco came up behind Harry and squeezed his arse, "That looks really good."

Harry gave Draco a kiss on his lips, "Thank you."

"Where did you learn how to do this?" Harry enquired.

"A friend that lives near me," Draco answered "she taught me about two years ago."

"Are we Apparating?" Harry asked. Draco looked appalled. "Oh I forgot," Harry laughed and then quoted himself from months before "it messes up your hair doesn't it sweetheart?"

"And it'll mess up yours too potter." Draco said all that was missing was for him to poke his tongue out. "The eye shadow really brings out the green in your eyes," Draco commented as they walked out the door.

Harry grinned. "Your jeans really bring out your–" Harry stopped midsentence as Draco smacked him on the arm "Okay, sorry!" Harry laughed. "Actually," Harry said as he thought out loud "everything _brings you out_ tonight."

"Potter, dressed like this," Draco gave Harry and himself an eye over "_everyone_ knows we're _out_ tonight."

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry and Draco stepped out of the silver taxis out onto the street. Draco took Harry's hand and led him over to a building that with all of its lights looked like a party was happening inside. He started to notice the type of people that were going inside.

"Draco," he said "so um…where are we?"

Draco smiled. "This place is called _Le Fosse Serpent. _It means the snake pit. The suburb we're in is called _Le Marias_."

Harry's eyes widened. "You're taking me to…this is…we're in…_Le Marias_?" Harry spluttered lost for words. Draco's grin widened with every rambling word that came out of Harry's mouth.

"Yes," he nodded "I'm taking you to the gay centre of Paris. I'm also taking you to a club which is Paris's gay night life happens."

"Who are you and what have you done with Draco Malfoy?" Harry asked a little shocked but a smile still spread across his face.

Draco shrugged. "I've got no one to hide from." He replied simply. It wasn't until then that Harry realised Draco _needed_ this. He became a little irritated at himself that he hadn't picked it up before; Draco was desperate for this. He was desperate to publically show or display his affection for Harry, he was desperate to be immersed with people that were similar to him and most of all he was desperate to just let go and not give a shit about anyone else and what they might think.

"This is very brave," Harry remarked "that's very Gryffindor of you."

"You want your balls still intact?" Draco asked. Harry got the message but still laughed.

As they walked across the street another man said something to Draco in French.

"_Non, nous ne sommes pas d'ici, nous habitons a la Grande-Bretagne. Nous sommes ici pour Noël."_ Draco said perfectly. Harry's jaw dropped.

"You…you speak _French_?" Harry asked trying his hardest not to gawk in amazement.

Draco blinked, taken off guard. "Fluently," Draco said and then he looked at Harry's facial expression "I forgot to mention that didn't I?"

Harry gaped at Draco. The makeup skills, the gay night club, fluent in French; there was only so much Harry could absorb at once. Draco seemed to be thinking along the same line. He slipped his arm around Harry's shoulder and gave him a small squeeze. The man said something else to Draco. Draco shook his head, "_Non, il ne parles pas francaise. Je ne fais pas dire pour lui je parle le francais…allor il est un peu…_" Draco looked at Harry again.

The man laughed and said, "_D'accord…vous avez amusant et un beau soir, à bientôt."_

Draco smiled and nodded, "_Et vous, au revior_."

"Are you okay?" Draco asked concerned.

Harry nodded.

"I didn't mean to drop it on you like that," Draco said tentatively, almost sheepishly "it just slipped my mind."

Harry surprised himself by speaking, "I'm fine Draco, really. It's…that's just…you're so clever. I didn't know, you've never told me you like history or that you speak another language. You're very intelligent Draco."

Draco nodded slowly. Harry knew him too well by this point.

"I don't care whether your parents never told you or your friends or your teachers," Harry told him firmly "_I'm _telling you." Harry stopped and took hold of Draco's chin so that he looked into the Blonde's grey eyes, "And that's what matters." Harry planted a firm kiss on Draco's lips before taking his hand in his and walking onto the sidewalk.

The night was incredible. The entire place seemed to move as one body. The atmosphere was the most amazing; everyone here understood. The music ran through them and gave them a heartbeat. The lights were bright and colourful and moved around, highlighting the whole room. Although Harry couldn't understand, one word Draco translated for him and they talked to some other couples. This felt extremely bizarre talking about their relationship. Harry smiled as he realised that throughout the night Draco never seemed to realise that all these people that he fit in with, were muggles. Although they knew that they would never see these people again it was the point of telling someone, anyone, and it felt like an adrenaline rush. Elating. Addictive. Thrilling. All they knew was that it was okay. Okay to dance body to body, okay to hold hands, okay to kiss each other with all these other people around them, okay to be themselves, okay to belong here, okay to love each other, okay to _be_.

The most exhilarating moment of the night was when the boys were at the bar sitting with another group of boys. They were all talking and Draco explained what they were saying to Harry. A boy with auburn hair said something to Draco and the Slytherin gave a laugh.

"What did he say?" Harry asked.

"They're all daring each other and he's dared us to do something," Draco explained. Harry looked at Draco expectantly to finish the rest of the sentence. Instead Draco did something that made Harry's stomach jolt. Draco grasped Harry's chin and brought it to his. He opened his mouth, Harry mirroring him, and without touching lips slid his tongue into Harry's mouth. Their eyes both closed and they brought their face a fraction closer. Harry's heart beat sped up as he and Draco slowly jutted their tongues in and out of each other's mouths. Draco had to suppress a moan as he and Harry's tongue rubbed against each other. Pure need rose in Harry's stomach and he leaned forward on impulse, closing their mouths. Their lips moved but their mouths didn't open, their tongues exploring inside each other. Draco brought his hand up behind Harry's neck and Harry pressed their bodies closer as they snogged. They seemed to forget others were watching them as they continued to thrust their tongues into each other's mouths.

More than they were willing to admit they were sad to leave. But what they were willing to admit was that they were desperate to get back to their hotel. Draco had Harry on the bed, desperately hard.

"In my suitcase in the small orange bag," Harry instructed Draco.

"What are they?" Draco frowned.

"I know they look like condoms but they're not," Harry explained.

"What the hell are condoms?" Draco said looking very confused.

Harry mentally rolled his eyes; of _course_ Draco wouldn't know what that was. "They're muggles contraceptives. But these aren't that at all. They're charmed. We put one on each. You're topping right?"

Draco nodded.

"So whatever the top is feeling in the area that this," Harry held up the sliver condom-like object "covers the top will feel where ever his one is covering too. So basically the bottom tops _and_ bottoms…does that make sense?"

Harry assumed as much since Draco all but pounced on him. Draco positioned his cock at Harry's entrance and Harry's own cock throbbed in anticipation. As Draco's tip entered Harry, Harry could feel something warm at the tip of his cock and it felt…constricting. The odd feeling was one of pleasure thought. As Draco pushed himself further and further inside of Harry he didn't know where to feel – the sensation of the Slytherin blissfully filling him up or the odd but nonetheless mind-blowing sensation that he felt in his cock. Draco pulled halfway out of Harry and then thrusts back in.

Harry screwed up his eyes and threw his head back.

"See how amazing you feel?" Draco gasped "That's how you make me feel every time I bury my cock inside of you." Harry moaned he never knew that he could feel this good. Draco gripped Harry's hips so that he could pound into the Gryffindor harder. His cock twitched inside of Harry. It wasn't until then that they would cum at the same time. Draco seemed to realise as well and he was quietly smug about that fact that he controlled Harry's orgasm. When Draco came Harry was sure that bright lights exploded across his vision. His orgasmed wasn't just contained to his crotch area it, it burst and spread, all the while Harry kept screaming out Draco's name…and then everything went black.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

The boys sat at a table outside from the Boulangerie they were eating at.

"You're never going to let me live this up are you?" Harry rolled his eyes.

"Of course not," Draco replied in a tone suggesting that Harry should know as much by now "I made you cum so hard that you blacked out."

The waitress came over and asked Draco a question in French. Draco turned to Harry, "What did you want to eat?"

"You pick," Harry smiled.

"_Je voudrais deux chocolat chauds, un meille foille, un éclair chocolat et ci'est du gateau fraise s'il vous plait madame._"

"That sounds delicious," Harry said.

"You don't even know what I said!" Draco laughed.

"Yeah, but you say anything with that accent and it'll sound mouth-watering." Harry reasoned.

"_Ma bite_," Draco said "does that sound mouth watering?"

The lady next to them gave Draco a very disapproving look.

"It's lucky we both fly fearlessly," Draco told Harry as he sipped his steaming hot chocolate "otherwise we'd be up on the Eiffel tower scared shitless."

Harry who was mid-swallow snorted at the same time and began coughing.

"_Anapneo_," Draco pointed his wand under the table and muttered the spell underneath his breath.

"Thanks," Harry said in a strangled voice, eyes watering.

Two hours later the boys stood at the top of the Eiffel tower overlooking Paris. They could see the cars on the street, the rooftops, the people, the buildings, the trees – everything. They were fairly high but it was if they were a few feet off the ground to Harry. Draco closed his eyes, he felt so free being this high up with the cold wind blowing on his face. He felt Harry's lips press up against his.

"Thank you for bringing me here," Harry said as he rested his head on Draco's shoulder "and I love you."

"I love you too," Draco replied kissing the top of Harry's head.

"Say that in French," Harry smiled.

"_Je t'aime aussi_," Draco replied instantly.

"Je t'aime aussi," Harry repeated with an attempted accent, he rolled the words around on his tongue. "I like it," he decided.

Draco laughed. "I'm glad you approve," Draco ginned "otherwise they would have had to change it." Harry rolled his eyes but joined in laughing.

"I just want to jump off the edge, conjure up my broom and just fly," Harry said longingly.

"When we get back we'll go flying," Draco promised.

"Okay," Harry smiled slipping his hand into Draco's.

Later that night after a long day of venturing all over Paris the two boys lay in bed together. Harry looked over at the clock on the bedside table, it read 12:16. He snuggled closer to Draco.

"Merry Christmas Draco," Harry whispered.

"Merry Christmas Harry," Draco replied.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Unlike last time on the Eurostar they were given a cabin. They both sat crossed legged on the top bunk which Harry had instantly claimed even though he had no intention of sleeping there.

"I've got you hostage here for eleven whole hours you know," Harry reminded Draco.

"Actually it's eleven hours and seventeen minutes," Draco corrected.

"Even better, gives us time to get changed."

Draco out right laughed.

Harry got comfortable as he leaned against the wall, "Talk to me."

"About?"

"Anything."

"I don't know…give me a topic."

"Christmas."

"Give me a different topic."

"Now we're definitely talking about that."

Draco groaned. "Well this has been the best Christmas I've ever had."

"Because you haven't spent it with your parents?"

"Because I've spent it with you," Draco felt a little hurt that Harry hadn't thought of that straight away but no matter what he felt, Harry was right. "Yes _and _because I haven't spent it with my parents."

Harry looked at Draco expectantly. "You don't like Christmas at home because…?"

"_No._" Draco said his voice was dangerous, it made Harry flinch.

Harry looked at Draco questioningly, "I don't understand?"

"I've closed that draw shut and I'm not opening it, not ever." Draco said firmly. Harry looked at Draco worriedly. "Don't look at me like that," Draco said "shit happens and we move on from it."

"But you haven't moved on from it," Harry observed truthfully.

"How would you know if I've moved on or if I haven't?" Draco asked a little aggressively.

"Because you can't talk about it," Harry replied calmly "if you've moved on you would be able to talk about it."

"Just drop it okay?" Draco told him. He took a deep breath; he hadn't meant to snap at Harry. "Look," he sighed "I'm just not…I just don't want to talk about it."

"You could have just told me that," Harry said gently "because I would have understood."

"No, when it comes to this you wouldn't understand." Draco shook his head sadly.

"Are you sure about that?" Harry said gravely.

_Harry hadn't eaten in three days. Because he was a small boy he hadn't been able to hang the baubles on the top parts of the tree. Aunt Petunia had been in such a rage; Uncle Vernon had locked him in his cupboard and declared no food for a week. Harry had curled up on his mattress in defeat. He knew that come Christmas morning he would not be allowed out for any reason for the Dursley's had family guests every Christmas since Harry could remember. One year when he was five years old he needed to go to the toilet but wasn't allowed out of his cupboard. Uncle Vernon had roared at him later that night for messing up the floor. They had made the five year old clean everything up. Harry had learnt to associate Christmas with feelings of humiliation, envy, loneliness, dread and hopelessness. Harry had been told not to ask questions but he couldn't help one that slipped from his mouth one Christmas evening. _

"_Why don't I get any presents?" Harry blurted. _

"_Because you're not special enough," Aunt Petunia had answered coldly "there's nothing special about you. You don't deserve anything. We've taken you in you ungrateful little thing, that's a big enough thing to last three hundred Christmases!" She hissed at Harry to go back to his room. Harry trudged back to his cupboard wondering how Dudley was more special than him. He sat on his mattress and looked at his skinny arms and ragged clothes, he sat there, starting to believe Aunt Petunia… _

_The next Christmas it was clear the Dursley's that Harry needed a new pair of clothes for the year. _

"_You're a burden!" Uncle Vernon had yelled at him. _

_The Christmas after that, in Harry's class at school the teachers had told the class that Christmas was about family. It was a time were family celebrated each other, it was a time of love and being together. Harry had never felt like he belonged to the Dursleys let alone at Christmas time. _

"_Am I a part of this family?" eight year old Harry had asked. _

_Uncle Vernon had locked him in his cupboard and shouted, "Don't ask questions!"_

_At least on his birthday nobody bothered Harry, mainly because they chose to ignore it. However at Christmas there was no ignoring the fact that the Dursleys purposefully excluded Harry. Harry learned not to ask questions, or to expect things or to want things. But mainly, not to hope for things…_

"I've learned to want things now," Harry shrugged as he concluded his story "I wanted you."

"But you didn't hope," Draco said determined not to let tears come to his eyes.

"No," Harry said quietly "I didn't hope. But then you came and found me," Harry brushed his finger along Draco's cheek "and you gave me the biggest gift anyone's ever given me." Draco's hand held Harry's on his cheek, "You gave me hope…in myself."

Draco leaned forward and cupped Harry's face in his hands, he held him like he would break, like he was as delicate as glass and needed to be cared for and protected and cherished.

When they finished Harry was sure that love couldn't radiate any brighter from within them. Harry was certain that he must have been glowing.

"No don't move," Harry said as Draco began to pull out of him "I like having you in me." They lay there connected for a long time, not saying anything, just holding each other. Listening to each other's heart beat. Entwining their fingers, tangling their legs, doing anything that would bring them even closer together. But Harry knew that that wasn't possible, in this moment, his very soul had merged with Draco's and it shone brightly from the inside out, Harry never wanted this moment to end. Draco, for the very first time, felt hopeful on Christmas…Harry was healing him…and that was the most profound thing anyone had ever done for him.

"I love you," Draco whispered in Harry's ear.

They slept through the night and arrived early the next morning. Harry opened his eyes and gave a content sigh as Draco slept next to him. Harry noticed the train slowing and gently shook Draco awake.

"Draco?" he murmured "We're here."

Draco stretched, yawned and mumbled something unintelligible. He buried his face in Harry's chest.

"Good morning," he smiled lazily.

"Good morning," Harry smiled back and noted "you're in a pleasant mood."

"I had a pleasant night," Draco reasoned.

"Where are we by the way?" Harry asked.

"My favourite place in the world," Draco sighed happily "and I don't just mean lying next to you naked."

Harry gave a laugh. "I figured as much," he ran his fingers through Draco's hair "so where are we?"

"You'll see," Draco replied. Once they were both fully clothed and prepared for the winter outside, with their bags they exited the train and stepped outside. It was slightly warmer than Paris. Harry looked at the signs but couldn't pick out which language it was.

"Are we taking a taxi?" Harry asked.

"That's not actually possible," Draco said cryptically. Draco walked over to a tourist desk and Harry followed him. The young girl behind the desk looked up and blushed when she saw Draco. She swallowed nervously.

"_Scusi signorina, noi siamo alla ricerca per una barca per portarci al nostro albergo?_?" Draco said to the lady. Déjà vu swept over Harry as his jaw dropped. Draco and the young lady jabbered away and finally Draco said, "_Grazie mille, arrivederci._" Now that Harry understood.

Draco looked at Harry apologetically, "I would have mentioned that I spoke Italian _as well_ that night but er…you didn't look like you could have handled it."

"You speak _Italian_…_as well_?" Harry asked in amazement.

"_Si_," Draco said timidly.

They both stepped onto a boat. The water was beautiful, it shimmered and glistened, rippling and highlighting the city.

"Venice…you've taken us to the city on water," Harry mused and then turned to Draco "I've seen it in pictures."

"You're going to love it," Draco told him.

"If you love it, I love it." Harry smiled. There boat sped along the water; it turned into an alley way which Harry found quiet bizarre since it was an alley way without solid ground. The boat 'parked' on a door way. Harry looked up and followed the building skywards. It was made out of a beautiful cobble stone and wooden window sills. It was so simple that it was elegant. It was literally right on the water. Harry had never seen anything so welcoming and warm in his entire life.

"I know that I like really expensive things that are luxurious and that you like homey down to earth things. I mean it's not like this wasn't expensive, it's just that it has a working class Italian feel. I mean if you don't like it we can always–"

"Shush," Harry cut across he turned to the blonde "it's perfect...I love it."

Draco let out a relieved breath, "I'm glad."

The inside of their room almost had a cottage image to it. There was a fire place and a big bed that looked like it was more peaceful than floating on water. The room had wooden floor boards and custard coloured walls. The balcony overlooked the water and Harry felt like he was in something out of a movie.

"I know you've already built a connection to the room," Draco laughed shaking his head "but I've planned something for us." Draco took Harry's hand and led him downstairs out the front. Floating on the water was a long, red boat that had a flick on the ends. A man was standing up in it with a large ore in his hand.

"You know what a _gondola_ is right?" Draco asked.

Harry looked at Draco and raised his eyebrows. "Just checking," Draco reasoned with a chuckle.

"_Dove ti piacerebbe andare signori?_" the man with the ore asked Draco.

"_Dovunque consiglieresti_," Draco replied. Draco stepped onto the gondola confidently and helped Harry on. The two sat back in the crook of the boat. Draco sat back and relaxed, letting the air run through his hair, closing his eyes. Harry sat on the edge observing the new culture and different scenery. It intrigued him the way the water overflowed onto the streets and yet people walked through it as if it wasn't even there. He glanced up at the buildings that were so Roman styled, the stones that formed the walls and the old window frames that had white paint peeling off it.

Harry sat back and nuzzled into the crook of Draco's arms. They sat peacefully as they glided over the water.

"So," Harry said "tell me why Italy is your favourite place in the world?"

Draco shrugged. "It's just beautiful isn't it? The culture is so rich here."

"Yeah it is," Harry agreed.

"You see with France," Draco explained "the language is so beautiful and elegant. The place is spectacular as well. French was the first language my parents taught me. They like France the best, you can see why, they fit right in. Pansy and I always joked that even my parents were to snobby for France. But Italy," Draco closed his eyes "the language tells a story. You speak it and you can feel yourself walking into a house on a farm. They have such a culture. Their way of life is so different to how I was brought up. At home I was raised with strict rules and boundaries, everything had its consequence. You would never publically show affection, you could never do anything spontaneously; everything was controlled, ordered, planned and structured. But here," he looked around them with an air of reverence and respect "here was where I began to learn that there was a different way. I mean, it's a routine to have a siesta every day for Merlin's sake. There's a real sense of family; everyone touches each other whether it be a kiss hello or a hug or a sign of recognition. Everyone is so _social_. It's actually brilliant. In the small towns everyone knows each other, everyone always says hello. Things happen, decisions are made on the spot. I mean they have no work ethic, they just relax and they know that life is something to be enjoyed. And they do enjoy. But they don't just enjoy it, they _celebrate_ it; with food, with parties, with gatherings, with religion, with family, with friends. Italy taught me that my family is so uptight that you couldn't even shove a wand up their arses." Harry snorted and Draco continued, "They need to advertise saying 'want to chill the fuck out? Go to Italy.'"

"It's so nice to hear you speak about something so devotedly," Harry told him truthfully.

"I guess it's a little different now coming back this time," Draco shrugged.

"What do you mean?" Harry frowned.

"I always felt I belonged here, I felt like I was coming home when I came here," Draco said slowly but then he looked at Harry and explained "Italy's government is quite homophobic. Gay marriage isn't even under political consideration here. Religion is incredibly strong in Italy therefore the Roman Catholic Church is very influential in blocking the legislation. Of course there are gay people in Italy but it's a lot harder to be gay here than in some other places. So coming back knowing who I am, it doesn't make me love Italy any less, it just makes me want to participate in making a change."

Harry sat back, listening to Draco, learning about him and his thoughts and his past.

"That's very…" Harry looked around for the right word but couldn't seem to find it "for lack of a better word, that's very mature of you. Instead of being negative about it you want to make a change. You should do it."

"How?" Draco asked "That's the muggle world."

"I thought nothing stopped Draco Malfoy?" Harry teased him.

Draco looked into Harry's green eyes.

"I'm only going to say this once and never again," he said to Harry slowly and meaningfully, he took a breath and said "I'm not as bulletproof as everyone thinks."

Harry did a double take. For a split second he saw just how vulnerable Draco was. _Draco you're not bulletproof_, Harry thought, _you've got the biggest bullet wounds I've ever seen_. In that moment Harry compared Draco to a vast ocean, there was just so much of it. 'It' being the absolute mass of the troubles that he had. Harry felt overwhelmed as he knew that because he loved Draco so much he would do everything he could to heal him but the job he had a head of his was great. But he didn't feel like it was a burden, he felt like it was a journey that he wanted to take. Harry would be the first to admit that he wasn't the only one that had some healing to do.

"I know…" Harry breathed he entwined his fingers in Draco's and gave him a warm smile "but you're strong enough for me."

"When I need so badly to escape," Draco said tightening his scarf "and I can't because I'm hundreds of kilometres away, you know where I go?"

"Where?" Harry asked, his voice a whisper.

"To you," Draco brushed Harry's cheek with his thumb "you're my Italy."

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"So what does _Vetro Casa _mean?" Harry asked as he twirled the pasta around his fork and put it in his mouth "This is brilliant by the way."

"Mmm mine's nice too," Draco said as he swallowed and then replied "it means glass house. Venice is famous for its glass, hence the name."

"So I was thinking," Harry began.

"Very dangerous," Draco nodded.

"Shut up I'm serious," Harry said trying to keep a serious face but failed miserably "I was thinking Quidditch starts soon."

"So it does," Draco inclined his head.

"Are you trying out for Seeker?" Harry asked slowly.

"Trying out? No," Draco shook his head "I'm not trying out for Seeker."

Harry opened his mouth to say something but Draco kept talking.

"I don't need to _try_ out for Seeker…because I'm the best seeker Slytherin have. I'm already in Potter, how about you?"

Harry's grin spread across his face, he loved when Draco played around with him. He composed himself and replied, "You _are_ speaking to the Gryffindor house captain."

Draco's eyes widened. "Seriously?" he exclaimed.

"Yeah," Harry nodded with a smile.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Draco wanted to know.

"I honestly forgot," Harry said earnestly.

"This'll be entertaining," Draco predicted.

"Draco," Harry rolled his eyes "I'm going to kick your arse."

"I hope that's not the only thing you're going to do with it," Draco said and then sucked up a strand of spaghetti into his mouth. "You know all those times I _let_ you win."

"Bull," Harry laughed "shit."

"Honestly," Draco vowed "I mean, obviously at the time I didn't know I was doing it because I was subconsciously attracted to you, that's why I let you win."

"I'm sorry I can't make out what you're saying with all the shit that's coming out of your mouth," Harry laughed over his pasta.

"Well now that we're all both clear on our feelings," Draco said putting both hands on the table "it's an even field."

Harry lifted up his wine glass, "May the best seeker win."

Draco lifted up his glass and they touched with a _clink_. They sipped the wine and they both winced a little at the unusual taste.

"I think I prefer butterbeer," Harry muttered.

"So," Draco said as he finished his pasta and put his fork in his plate neatly "what are we doing tonight?"

"Well now that you mention it," Harry said in a sincere tone "there actually was something I wanted to do."

"Really?" Draco asked surprised "What did you want to do?"

Harry pushed Draco up against the wall of their hotel room. He ripped Harry's shirt and off trying his best not to break the kiss. Harry removed his hands from Draco's hair and pulled the blonde's tshirt over his head and threw it in some random directions. They brought their lips back together, tilting their heads to the side and snogging. Somehow they miraculously managed to pull their jeans off. Draco dipped his finger under the waistline of Harry's underwear. He spun Harry around so that he was on the wall now. Draco bent down, taking Harry's underwear with him, Harry kicked them off and then pulled Draco's off as well.

"Suck me," Harry pleaded.

Draco wrapped his mouth around Harry's throbbing cock.

"Fuck yes," Harry moaned.

Draco licked up and down his shaft mercilessly. Sucking his cock and gently grazing his teeth along it. He moved his head back a bit so that just Harry's tip was in his mouth. Draco's tongue delved under Harry's foreskin. He carefully used only his teeth to pull it up as he ran his tongue along the sensitive area.

"Draco!" Harry cried out feeling the most amazing sensations flood to his pulsating member.

Draco continued to bob his head up and down the Gryffindor's cock. His hands snaked up to play with Harry's balls causing the raven to gasp. Draco loved sucking Harry off. He loved having Harry in his mouth.

"I love your hot little mouth around me," Harry moaned. His words went straight to Draco's cock and it gave a throb of desperate need. Draco moaned around Harry making the Gryffindor cry out. A few minutes later Harry came in Draco's mouth, shooting hot cum down the Slytherin's throat.

"Oh Merlin!" Harry screamed his eyes screwed shut "Yes! Oh fuck yeah!"

Once Harry came down from his high he reached for his wand.

"I want to try something new," he said to Draco with a wink.

"_Wingardium Leviosa!_" Harry said pointing to the bed. The large bed rose slowly upwards into the air until Harry flicked his wand and it stopped rising and stayed levitating where it was. Harry took Draco's hand and led him to the end of the bed. Harry got himself onto the bed.

"Harry, what are y–" Draco froze mid sentence as his mouth dropped opened and his cock grew impossibly harder. Harry lay down on his back on the end of the bed with just his head hanging off the edge. Draco walked over and Harry opened his mouth. Draco put his cock into Harry's awaiting mouth. Harry instantly latched onto Draco's hardness, moving his tongue up and down and around Draco's cock. He sucked it like a Popsicle on a hot summer's day. His tongue run over Draco's head taking a few moments to lavish it and taste his precum.

Draco then began to slowly move in and out of Harry's mouth. He pulled halfway out and then back in, all the way out and back in. He continued like this, thrusting in to Harry's willing mouth feeling his orgasm build in him. His cock sometimes hit the back of Harry's throat, encasing Draco from tip to base making him moan Harry's name.

Draco leaned his head back, breathing out heavily in dense gasps. The room was filled with the beautiful sounds that came out of his mouth.

"Harry, I'm going to cum." Draco told him through clenched cheeks. Harry moaned around him sending the vibrations through his hard cock and licking his head furiously. Draco came with a cry. Harry who was in no position to swallow anything felt Draco's cum dribbled out of his mouth and ran down into his hair. Draco shot load after load into Harry's mouth letting the intense feeling of his orgasm override him.

Harry sat up, swallowing the rest of the cum that was still in his mouth. Draco picked up his own wand and lowered the bed back onto the floor. He fell onto the bed, exhausted.

"Where are you going?" Draco asked Harry as he walked over to the bathroom.

"I need to take this out of my hair," Harry explained pointing to Draco's cum that streaked through his dark hair "if I leave it in for more than six minutes it goes harder than the cock it came out of."

Draco burst out laughing as Harry turned the shower on.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

The next day Draco took Harry to St. Marco's square early in the morning. Harry tore of a piece of bread and threw into the mass of pigeons.

"Isn't Italy the most visited country in the world?" Harry asked.

"No, that would be France." Draco replied.

"Ah," Harry said "so that would explain why there's basically no one here, they're all in France, I understand now."

Draco shook his head and laughed. "It's nine thirty on a _Sunday_ morning Harry," Draco reminded him "everyone's in church."

"You know what we've done a lot of over the years?" Harry asked Draco as he tore of another piece of bread.

"Scowling?" Draco guessed.

"Ha ha ha no," Harry said wryly.

"Tell me," Draco smiled at him.

"Eye fucking," Harry said promptly.

"What?" Draco snorted.

"You haven't noticed?" Harry asked Draco genuinely curious.

"No not…really."

"Well we have been," Harry said anyway "like that time in third year when it was our first lesson with Hagrid and you walked up to me, that was a major eye fuck. And that time in first year where you, Ron, Hermione and I got in trouble with Professor McGonagall and you glanced over at me, that was pretty intense too."

"Dear Merlin we have been haven't we?" Draco agreed.

"I just can't get enough of those grey eyes," Harry admitted happily lobbing the bread to the pigeons.

"They _are_ pretty beautiful," Draco said with a nod.

Harry snorted.

A few minutes later two young women with cameras around there necks walked passed the boys and stopped to take a picture of the pigeons that covered the stone ground like a blanket. Both girls had mousey brown hair that they had tied into a messy bun. The taller of the two removed the camera from her eye and let it hang down around her neck.

"Where are you two from?" She asked in a strange accent.

"England," Harry said with a polite smile "what about you?"

"Australia," she said with a brilliant smile "I love your accent by the way."

"Yours too," Harry said with a small laugh.

"How long have you been here for?" she asked.

"Just two days," Harry shrugged "we're leaving tomorrow. I'm Harry by the way." He extended a hand to her. She shook it and said, "I'm Evy. My sister over there," she pointed to a girl taking photos a few meters away "her name's Emma." She leaned over to shake Draco's hand as well.

"I'm Draco," he said courteously.

"That's an unusual name, where does it originate from?" she asked interestedly.

"Latin," he said.

Just then her sister walked over to them. Her eyebrows rose as she eyed the boys over.

"Hel_lo_," she winked at Harry "you're hot."

Harry blinked in surprise, clearly taken very off guard.

"Yes, and he'll be getting my bed sheets dirty tonight." Draco said icily.

Harry gave an involuntary snort of laughter. "You got that right you cheeky bastard."

Emma looked absolutely stunned. Evy burst doubled over laughing.

"Fair dinkum," she laughed "you can't find two decent guys, they're either too old, too young, related to you or gay." She looked over at her sister and shook her head through her laughter. "You had that coming," she told her. "Well it was lovely to meet you both."

"Likewise," Draco nodded coolly "goodbye Evy."

Harry rolled his eyes and huffed, "and goodbye Emma."

Once they we gone Harry burst out laughing, "That was hilarious!"

"No," Draco said not laughing at all "it was not."

"'He'll be getting my bed sheets dirty tonight'," Harry quoted "that's classic." He looked over and Draco and gave a comical gasp, "Draco I think you're turning green!"

"Oh fuck off." Draco rolled his eyes and looked somewhere else.

"Hey Malfoy, why don't we get some _s_-_n_-_o_-_g_-_g_-_i_-_n_-_g_ going on here?" Harry winked.

"Here?" Draco asked incredulously "Out in the open?" Draco grinned, "Kinky." He leaned forward and kissed Harry and they roamed each other's mouths.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Draco and Harry walked down the cold back ways of Venice hand in hand. They were walking on one side of the small river on the cobblestone ground. There were lots of small bridges that linked over to the other side of the skinny river.

"It's so quiet," Harry murmured.

"It _is_ one o'clock in the morning," Draco said. They walked hand in hand towards a noise. As they got closer to it they realised it was a speaker over them in a pole. It played the slow, romantic music of an orchestra. Someone started singing something in Italian over the music. Draco stopped to listen to it. He let go of Harry's hand and walked onto one of the small arched bridges. He extended a hand to Harry.

"Dance with me?" he asked his grey eyes sparkling.

"Here?" Harry asked looking around at the empty street and the tall houses next to them.

Draco nodded.

Harry walked to him and took his hand. He gave Draco a nervous sort of cute smile. Draco placed one hand on Harry's hip and one behind Harry's back. Harry put one of his hands on Draco's shoulder and the other on Draco's waist. They moved slowly together, they weren't in any rush. Harry rested his check on Draco's shoulder and they moved closer together. Draco took one of Harry's hands and entwined his fingers into his. The music seemed to flow with them and make them feel like they were in a scene out of an old movie. Harry closed his eyes and breathed in Draco's scent. He felt calm and serene in this perfect moment.

Harry flinched when he felt something come in contact with his skin. He abruptly looked up at the sky and saw that little droplets were beginning to fall. With a clap of thunder the skies seemed to open and the rain came down heavily.

"Crap," Harry muttered he detached himself from Draco and looked for a place to stand under. He turned to walk toward a near building.

"Come on!" Harry called to Draco. He was now drenched as the rain didn't let up and kept on pouring down in bucket loads.

A smile slowly spread on Draco's face.

"I'm drenched Draco! Hurry up!" Harry called out again.

Draco threw his head back and laughed. The rain drops slid down his face His blonde hair stuck to his face. He closed his eyes and let the water fall onto him.

"You're crazy!" Harry shouted over the thunder. Harry groaned out aloud and then walked back over to Draco.

Draco looked at him and laughed. He laughed into the air and breathed in the scent of the rain. Both boys were soaked to the core. Draco felt free. If there were any puddles he would have jumped in them. He looked back up at the sky and saw the rain fall down the little comets shooting towards the ground. He opened his mouth to catch some of the rain. Harry looked at him in awe. He looked back down at Harry. His radiant smile suddenly began to slowly fade as he looked into Harry's green eyes. His breath came out heavily. His eyes ran all over Harry's face.

He put a hand at the back of Harry's neck and pulled him into a kiss. They're kisses were fierce. They were short and desperate. They're pressed their lips together. Panting into each other's mouths. Electricity seemed to crackle between them. They _needed_ each other. The way they kissed wasn't about dominance it was about the desperate need to be closer. They touched each other with a reverence. The rain beat down on their bare bodies but the cold didn't seem to touch them, their love was warm and radiated on their skin. They licked the water on their bodies and tasted it as they sucked on each other's lips. It was truly magical, making love in the streets of Venice. It seemed to last forever; every kiss, every touch, every moment. The rain dripped through their hair and drizzled down them. They explored themselves; running their tongues across each other's teeth, feeling where the bumps and curves were, tracing the beauty of their outline that been connected into one…

Finally, with much difficulty, they pulled away. They farewelled the enchanting city as they boarded the train back home. Was it really home? The places they had been where they were with each other, no hiding or obscuring, so facades or scripts, was that not what home was about? Home was where they were together.

They slept all the way back to London, dreaming the entire way. Curled up in each other's arms were they felt safe and whole.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

They arrived at Kings Cross happy to be home but sad to part.

"Owl me when you get home," Harry said.

"I will," Draco promised "same goes for you." Harry nodded.

"Thank you for this," Harry breathed out pulling Draco into a hug.

Draco rested his chin on Harry's shoulder. "You're welcome," he said quietly in Harry's ear.

"I've had the best time," Harry told him.

"I've had the best time too," Draco said.

Harry sighed. "Time to go."

"Time to go," Draco agreed sadly.

Harry pressed Draco's lips to his, not wanting to let go.

"Love you," Draco whispered planting a quick kiss on Harry's forehead.

"Love you too," Harry said back. Draco pulled out his wand to Apparate. "Wait!" Harry said suddenly.

"What is i–umph!" Harry pulled Draco into a final tight hug before unwillingly letting the Slytherin go.

"Now go before I decide to not let you go," he kissed Draco firmly on the lips "bye. I love you."

Draco stared lovingly at his boyfriend. "I love you too Harry," he said with a small smile and then he vanish with a _crack_. The holiday ended as Harry, too, vanished.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

After Mrs. Weasley had almost hugged the life out of him he went over to hug Ron and Hermione. Mr. Weasley, Fred and George said hello as well. They all asked him to relay every detail of his trip.

"Is it okay if I just put my bags away first?" Harry asked sounding exhausted.

"Of course dear," Mrs. Weasley smiled kindly "Ron will help you."

"Where's Ginny?" Harry whispered to Ron as they walked up the stairs. A troubled expression came over his face. He brought Harry into his room so that they could talk. "She hasn't been herself lately," he explained as he put Harry's bags in the corner.

"Since when?" Harry asked in a concerned voice.

"Since you left," Ron said.

Harry's eyebrows shot up. "You don't think it has anything to do with me do you?" Harry asked.

Ron sighed, "I don't know. She's in her room all the time and she doesn't really want to talk to anyone. I mean we asked her and all but she just said it was personal stuff. I don't know what to think! Maybe…do you think that maybe she's…?" Ron trailed off hoping Harry would get the idea.

Harry blinked in surprise. "No," he replied automatically "Ginny's not like that, she wouldn't be pregnant. Are her and Dean even…?"

"Well I haven't exactly asked have I?" Ron said looking uncomfortable at the mention of this topic.

"Do you want me to go and talk to her?" Harry asked Ron.

"Yeah," Ron nodded looking slightly relieved "yeah that would be good. She'll talk to you."

"Has Hermione talked to her?"

"Harry," Ron looked at him seriously "she hasn't spoken to _anyone_." Ron shook his head and let out a sigh, "The only thing she said was that she just had a lot on her mind and she needed time to work stuff out."

Harry stopped, realisation dawning in his eyes. "I know what's going on," he let out a long breath "shit."

"What is it?" Ron asked him looking both concerned and relieved at the same time.

"I need to speak with her," Harry shook his head. He walked up to her room and knocked on her door. He waited a few seconds before saying, "Ginny? It's me…can I come in?" Ron gave him a grateful look and then walked back down the stairs.

He was about to knock again when the door handle turned and Ginny opened the door. Harry had to work on keeping his face neutral but in actual fact he was worried, Ginny looked tired, most unlike her usual self.

"Hey Harry," she gave him a small smile "welcome back."

"Hey Ginny," Harry breathed out and he pulled her into a hug. He moved back a little and then asked, "Can I come in?"

She considered it for a minute and then finally shrugged in a sort of defeated kind of way. "Yeah okay," she nodded. Harry walked in, closing the door behind him and sat on the end of Ginny's bed while Ginny sat crossed legged on the other end of her bed against her pillow.

"How was your trip?" she asked smiling but her eyes not lighting up.

Harry smiled and let out a long breath. "I can't even describe it," he smiled but then he looked at her again and his smile faded. "Ginny," he began "everyone's really worried about you."

"I know," she said averting her eyes to the window "I don't mean for them to be but…" she trailed off.

"Gin," Harry finally said "I know what's going on."

Her eyes snapped up to his. "How?" she asked a note of fear in her voice "did she tell you?"

"I don't know who _she_ is," he shook his head "but I figured it out."

"You've been home for ten minutes, how can you have worked it out when the others have had a week?" she asked.

Because the others don't know what to look for, he thought. "It would be a lot easier for the both of us if you started from the start and explained everything to me."

She didn't say anything so Harry added, "I won't say _anything_ Ginny, I can promise you that."

Ginny gave a sharp nod and took a deep breath. "Okay," she said as she closed her eyes. She opened them and began, "It was the last day of term and I was in the bathroom. I was going to the toilet before we all left and…and we started talking about our holidays and it was fine, everything was normal."She was breathing hard. She looked at her bed cover and then finished, "And before we left she…out of nowhere…she kissed me."

"Who?" Harry asked carefully.

"Parvati."

What happened next completely shocked Harry because he had never seen Ginny do this before. Ginny burst into tears.

"Oh Gin," Harry said letting out a deep breath; he pulled her into an embrace feeling like a big brother.

"I don't know what to think Harry," Ginny cried into his shoulder. He held her tightly resting his head on hers, rocking them slightly trying to calm her.

"And," Ginny pulled back wiping the tears from her eyes "she just left me there. No explanation, nothing." She looked up at Harry. "I swear I'm with Dean Harry, I really, really like him." She sobbed.

"No I know," Harry took her hand and gave it a squeeze. Ginny pulled her feet up on the bed and curled up, her face next to Harry's leg. "So what's worrying you?" Harry asked.

"Why me?" she asked to what seemed like herself "Why did she pick me?"

"How could she _not_ pick you?" Harry smiled down at her. "You're extremely beautiful, that's to start off with. You're funny, incredibly talented, a fantastic Chaser, you're very brave and you're a great friend."

Ginny was too upset to even thank Harry even though she wanted to. "That can't be the reason," she said shaking her head.

"What do you think the reason is?" Harry her cautiously.

"Parvati's a smart girl," Ginny swallowed and then continued "she wouldn't like someone that she knew she wouldn't have a chance with."

Harry thought of Draco, that's exactly how he had felt. He had liked Draco even though he thought that he would never be with him. "That's not necessarily true," Harry told her.

"There's nothing wrong with her being a lesbian, or anyone being a lesbian," she added "but I know she kissed me because she thinks _I'm_ a lesbian." Harry looked at her but didn't say anything. Ginny sighed, "Just ask the question Harry."

"Do you think that you're a lesbian?" Harry asked slowly.

"I think…" she took in a deep breath and let it out in a rush "that I've never thought about it before."

Harry nodded. "And now that you are it's looking like a pretty good idea?" he guessed carefully.

"See I don't even know!" she exclaimed. "I don't what I'm feeling or how I'm meant to feel!"

Harry groaned on the inside, this was exactly him this time last year.

"What do you think Harry?" She asked "And be honest."

Harry considered her and then nodded. "I think," Harry began "that only you know yourself. I think that you're a great Chaser and you're very active and into sports. I think that you get along with boys really well…but that doesn't necessarily mean that you're a lesbian. I think that you're young and that at this time in your life you you're discovering so many things about yourself and you're asking questions and you're realising so many wonderful things. It's not about choosing which way you're going to go because when it comes to your sexual orientation you don't choose it, you're made that way. So whatever you uncover, I'm not going to love you any less and neither is anyone else. I also think that you're assuming a lot too. You're assuming what Parvati thinks about you when you haven't even talked to her about it. Don't forecast and don't predict because it's going to make you feel sick and talking about this helps. The only way you can read your cards is if you put them on the table Gin. The only way to solve this is to talk to Parvati about it. I'm always here to talk to you anytime you need, don't hesitate to ask for help. Know that it's normal to question all of this and I said what I meant before, only you know yourself. You've been given the opportunity to rediscover yourself and if you embrace that opportunity you're going to find your answers."

Harry finished with taking in a well deserved breath. Harry wished that he had had someone to tell him all of that last year; it would have made things a lot easier.

Ginny sat up and hugged Harry. "Thank you," she whispered in his ear.

"Feel better?" Harry asked her with a smile.

"Heaps," she nodded and smiled back.

He wanted so badly to tell her about him and Draco and how hard it had been for them. He wanted to tell her how they got through it. The only thing was, he didn't have Draco's permission and he couldn't say anything without it.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Draco placed all of his bags in his bedroom and sighed as he went downstairs. He was back in this suffocating house missing Harry already. He met his parents downstairs in the drawing room. The atmosphere was a mixture of things that Draco seemed to be becoming more and more allergic to.

"Sit down Draco," Lucius said gesturing to the chair near himself and Narcissa. Draco sat down. For a split second he thought they were going to ask how his trip was. He didn't even feel disappointed when they didn't; he was used to it by now after all.

"I am concerned about the progress you have made on the task the Dark Lord has given you as I did not receive any notifications during the term." Lucius said.

Draco's jaw tightened. Anger bubbled within him. How could they be so selfish? Why would they bring this up the moment Draco had gotten back?

"I would prefer if we discussed this another time," Draco said coolly.

"We are discussing this _now_ Draco," Lucius disagreed.

Draco huffed. "I have everything under control," Draco said tightly "that's all you need to know."

"Do not tell us what we _need_," Lucius said with a sharp edge to his voice "now I have asked you, what is it that you are doing?"

Draco thought of telling his father that he hadn't said that at all, but decided against it. He just wanted to get out of this room as soon as possible.

"It's none of your business," Draco said boldly.

His father's eyes narrowed. "I am you _father_," he hissed "you _are_ my business and how dare you talk to me like that!"

"I told you," Draco snapped back, his voice rising "I have this under control. I don't need anyone's help. I know what I'm doing and I'm perfectly capable of doing it."

"No one is questioning you capability Draco," Narcissa said gently "we're just worried because you haven't spoken about it at all. And you're resistance to talk about it shows us that you're not completely focused."

Draco stood up. "I _am_ dedicated to this task," Draco said conclusively "_He_ might taint your every thought with fear but he doesn't mine…not this Christmas." With that he walked out and quickly walked down the stairs to the front door.

As he walked through the trees he thought about how much trouble he would be in when he got back. Draco fumed. After what seemed like forever he finally came to the break in the forest. He parted the drape of vine leaves to reveal the snow covered field. In the centre of the ice covered ground it stood there, large and leafless. Draco walked up to the tree. Its wood was dark brown; its trunk was thick with a few hollows big enough to insert a foot in it to climb up. Its branches were large and thick and they twisted upwards. He ran his palm along the dense bark.

"Yeah," he said sadly "I'm back."

He pulled himself up into the tree and climbed a few branches up. He sat down perched against a thick branch. He let out a deep breath that and he watched the cloud of vapor disappear into the air. He looked up at the skinny twigs at the top of the large tree. He closed his eyes thinking of why he couldn't tell Harry about his Christmas, he closed his eyes remembering the first time he came here…

…_The sleek black kitten walked cautiously towards him. Draco's eyes lit up as he scooped the cat up into his arms. He had never loved a Christmas present so much. _

"_Mother," he said "what is its name?"_

"_You may call it what you wish Draco," Narcissa replied. "Take it into your room," she told him "your father and I need to speak with each other."_

_Draco brought the black kitten into his room and placed it on her bed. He watched it curiously, watching how it moved gracefully. It leaped up next to him and purred, the sound making Draco tingle. He ran a finger across its fur observing how its tail flicked up when he did. After consulting A History of Magic Draco named the cat Sapien. _

_That night he slept with the cat curled up next to him. He had never felt that way before, someone close to him while he slept. Something warm and alive that wanted to be near him. It was bizarre, Draco couldn't comprehend it, couldn't make sense of it. He never touched anyone, never used it as a sign of affection, never displayed or shared emotion through it. He couldn't understand why this animal did what it did when a human didn't even do it. Draco pet it back and found a joy to it. He kept the cat closer to him making sure it was safe. It almost felt like an experiment: how long would it be until it flinched at his touch and never came close again? He brushed its fur with his fingers and brought his face up close to it, listening to it breathe. _

_The next morning Draco had the cat in his arms when Lucius came into the sitting room. _

"_Draco I have been notified on how your grades have been progressing so far this semester," his father said curtly "they are high."_

_Draco waited, not sure what to say. Not sure what his father was going to say._

"_However there is a particular person in your class who is exceeding you," Lucius said in a calm voice. _

"_Who is it father?" Draco said very cautiously. _

"_The _mudblood_ Hermione Granger," Lucius said his voice seemed to hiss into every corner. Draco froze with the cat in his arms. Fear coursed through every vein in his body. His stomach seized up. _

"_I am disgusted!" Lucius snarled "The humiliation you have caused to the Malfoy name! A dirty, filthy little mudblood is outranking you."_

_Draco didn't know what to do. He stared at his father, anticipating whatever he might do. _

"_This is disgraceful," Lucius hissed looking at his son in a revolted manner. "What do you have to say for yourself?" Lucius spat. _

_Draco swallowed in fear. "I'm sorry father," he said trying his hardest to keep the quiver out of voice "I'll…I'll try harder."_

"_This will not go unpunished," Lucius glared frighteningly. He walked forward and ripped the cat out of his son's arms by the scruff of its neck and dropped it on the floor. He drew his wand and what happened next Draco would never forget. _

"_Crucio!" Lucius hissed. _

_A sound came out of the cat that made Draco's every nerve scream. The fur on its back stood up, it flinched and twitched, writhing in unimaginable pain. The sound filled Draco's ears and ran through him like shock waves. His whole body tensed. He couldn't feel, he couldn't think. Everything shut down as his body went into shock as his brain tried to shield him. Fear flooded through him making him tremble. It consumed him and suffocated him, the overwhelming fear. It started from the bottom and then ran up his body, the anger possessing him. The resentment towards his father pressed down on him from all sides. The animal shrieked in a high pitched ring, it couldn't move. It's eyes rolled into the back of its head. It thrashed like it was trying to fend off an invisible demon. It cried and screamed and squealed and made some sort of silent shriek of pain. It was being tortured. Draco could almost see the pain as if it weren't abstract. It was as helpless as Draco was. Watching the animal bend in ways it was never made to alerted some primal instinct within Draco as his visual response slapped him, 'I can't bear to look at this.'_

_He ran. _

_It wasn't a decision it was a natural instinct. He ran down the stairs and out of the manor. He ran into the trees. He ran further than he had ever ventured, passed trees that he had never seen before. He ran and ran and ran. Not looking back because back there was the unthinkable. He ran until he came to a clearing with a snow covered ground and a large dark brown tree in the distance. He ran up to the tree, climbing up it, desperate to detach himself in way possible to the world. He sat in one of the branches and was shocked to feel nothing. He was still numb, the fear anesthetizing his body. He sat there, freezing, staring in the sun that would soon go down. He sat there until he looked down and realised a small girl was standing at the bottom of the tree watching him. He was quick to compose himself. She had dark brown hair and pale skin; she looked like she might be ten years old…_

"I was hoping not to find you up here this Christmas," the voice tore Draco out of his memory. He looked down, the voice belonged to a tall and skinny girl with dark brown hair and pale skin. She climbed up the tree and perched herself on a branch near the one Draco was on.

"So was I…" Draco replied sadly.

"Didn't think that your parents could have killed your Christmas this year considering that trip of yours," Astoria Greengrass said.

"My parents can kill anything Greengrass," Draco replied dryly.

"When are you going to start calling me 'Astoria'?" she asked with an eye roll.

"When you stop being two years younger than me," Draco said with a hint of teasing.

"So how _was_ your Christmas?" She asked Draco.

"It was really great, I had a really good time," he said genuinely "best Christmas I've ever had. How about you?"

"Same old," Astoria shrugged "We had the family over, everyone wears black, you'd think it was a funeral."

"Same old," Draco agreed with a half-hearted smile.

"So where did you go?"Astoria asked.

"Eurostar," Draco replied.

"Really?" Astoria's eye brows shot up and she smiled.

"Really," Draco smiled back remembering what seemed like such a long time ago "from London we went to Paris and then we went to Venice."

"You would have breezed through France and Italy. Italy would have been brilliant for the Latin."

"It was we had a great time." Draco leaned his head back against the branch and let out a heavy breath.

"And now you're back…"

"And now I'm back." Draco agreed bitterly.

Astoria looked at Draco with a sort of sadness, the corners of her mouth turned down. "What happened?"

"They don't get it," Draco shook his head angrily "or if they do they don't give a shit."

"What did they do?" she asked trying her best to sound comforting instead of letting Draco hearing the anger in his voice. Why couldn't they just leave him alone for five minutes instead of constantly tormenting him?

"It's Christmas for Merlin's sake," Draco exclaimed "why would they bring _him_ up?"

Astoria studied Draco for a few moments. Suddenly her eyes widened. "He asked you to do something…hasn't he?" she breathed out in shock.

Draco's eyes snapped over to look at her. "What? No," he lied.

"Draco I saw your mother last week, she's ridiculously skinny and a whiter shade of pale…_shit_."

"Don't swear," Draco said sternly "your parents will think you got it from me."

His avoidance of the question only further proved to Astoria that she was right.

"Draco I'm fifteen…and I _did_ get it from you." She told him. When Draco said nothing she asked quietly, "How bad is it?"

"Bad enough that I can't do it," Draco's voice was barely a whisper.

"Don't let them turn you into a killer because you're not Draco, believe that." She implored to him.

"I know that," Draco said quietly "they don't."

There was a long silence.

"Draco?" Astoria finally spoke hesitantly "It's either them or you isn't it?"

Draco gave a defeated sigh. "What am I going to do?" his voice was pained.

"Only you know that," she replied gently.

He looked up at the fifteen year old that was wise beyond her years. "How did you become so insightful?" he asked trying to give her a smile.

She shrugged. "Over the years," she said "unlike everyone else, I've done more than heard you…I've _listened _to you."

There had been someone who had listened. Draco gave a small nod of gratitude and this action seemed to speak louder than words.

"Merry Christmas Greengrass," Draco said without a smile. Christmas was a time they shared because they had both tried to escape it because it was such bad place for them.

"Merry Christmas Draco," Astoria zipped her jacket up a little higher as a breeze ran through the naked branches of the tree. They sat there in the tree together silently, listening to the sad tale of the wind.

"Do they listen?" Astoria asked her voice breaking the silence.

"Who?" Draco frowned.

"The person who's got Draco Malfoy falling," Astoria smiled.

"Yeah they listen," Draco said as a small warm smile crept up on his lips "they save me…every day."

"I know," her voice expressed her silent gratitude to this person "you're a different person this year."

He was. He was glad someone had noticed.

"Have you told anyone who it is?"

"I wish I could," Draco said looking into the distance "It would make things so much easier…but at the same time so much harder."

"Draco you make it sound like a dream," Astoria told him "it doesn't have to be. It can be a reality."

"I can't tell everyone," his voice sounding like he was a prisoner longing for freedom.

"You can tell me," she said strongly but with care in her voice.

"I can't," Draco breathed.

"It's not good for you Draco!" Astoria exclaimed taking Draco by surprise. "You can talk to them about it but it's not the same. You need to talk to someone because you can't keep going on like this, it's not good for you."

"You think I don't know that?" Draco fired back "I just can't risk telling anyone."

Astoria looked into his grey eyes and Draco almost flinched with the intensity of her gaze. Looking at her, he felt a million years younger than her. "I've never said anything you know," she said "about that first Christmas." She gave a harsh laugh. "It was only a few years later when I got older that I should have filed for a case of child abuse or something like that." Her voice became serious again. "But even then I didn't say anything. After all these years of listening I've said nothing," she paused "because they're not my secrets to tell."

Her words were like a warm blanket but as loud as gunshots. He watched her breath rapidly. Her flushed cheeks were a sign of her sincerity and her genuine concern for him. His heart beat instantly sped up when he realised what he was going to do. He swallowed.

"I've been seeing," he took hesitant breath "_him_…since March last year." He watched her reaction carefully, waiting for something to happen. "I'm in love with him," Draco said in a way that made it sound like he was powerless against fate, like he was powerless against the love that had swept him off his feet. He said it with happiness in his voice, "and for some incomprehensible reason…he loves me too."

She didn't look surprised, she didn't even look disgusted. It was as if the news didn't change anything for her.

"Say his name Draco," she said in a whisper "you need to hear yourself say his name."

"Harry," the name came out in a breath and a word had never been spoken with some much emotion before "Harry Potter."

Draco struggled to keep the tremble out of his fingers. He felt everything. The relief washed over him, the fear flooded in him, the feeling of being stripped naked came out him from all sides, the freedom was overpowering, the truth cried out in a joyous manor to him, the whole earth seemed to pause as the silence was everywhere – it was the most exhilarating feeling Draco had ever felt.

"Does he make you happy?" Astoria asked.

"I didn't know what happiness was until I loved him," Draco said honestly, feeling like he was flying.

"That's all that's important," Astoria said now displaying the first sign of emotion – it was a smile "I'm really happy for you Draco."

"Thanks Greengrass," Draco gave her a warm smile that lit up his grey eyes.

"Are you going to marry him?" she asked.

"Now that _is_ a dream," Draco said looking up into the grey sky.

"No," Astoria shook her head "it can be real."

"Not yet," he whispered trying to keep the deep sadness out of his voice.

"Because of the war," she said quietly.

"I wish that were the only reason," Draco also said quietly.

Astoria's face dropped and her eyes widened slightly as she looked down at Draco. "Shit." She dragged the word out. "He's…he's asked you to kill Harry, hasn't he? Oh Draco, I'm so sorry."

"No," Draco shook his head numbly "he's asked me to bring Harry to him." Draco gave a harsh emotionless laugh, "But that's the same thing isn't it?"

"Oh Draco…" her eyes looked at him sadly. It wasn't fair, not to Draco, not after everything that he'd been through, were her thoughts.

"It's either my life or his," Draco said bluntly "and I'm not going to let him die."

She gently placed her hand on Draco's shoulder. "I don't care what anyone says," she told him "Gryffindors bring out the best in us."

"I think so too," he admitted with a small smile.

"So run," she said to him.

"What?"

"With Harry," she repeated "run. Get protection from Dumbledore."

"He's the Chosen One, Greengrass." Draco explained with a shake of his head "He _can't_ run."

"So fight with him," she said simply.

"He'd kill my family. As much as I resent them they're still my family." He said with an air of hopelessness.

"You'll figure it out Draco," she said, her strong voice telling him that she believed that whole heartedly "I know you will."

"I hope so," he replied.

"Maybe next year you won't be up here in the Christmas tree," she said looking up at its branches.

"Maybe next year I won't be here at all," he didn't say it bitterly, he just said it honestly.

"Maybe Draco," Astoria nodded quietly "maybe."

The silence made Draco's wand was now feeling very heavy in his pocket.

"So are you going to obliviate me now?" Astoria asked her tone neutral, like she knew it was coming all along.

Draco gave her a shocked look.

"How did you…?" he asked slowly.

She shrugged indifferently. "I know you," she said simply.

Draco felt heavy. "I'm sorry," he said genuinely.

"Do what you have to do." She said looking aged.

Draco pulled out his wand and raised it.

"Wait!" she said suddenly her face wavering, she looked into Draco's eyes "This…this has happened before hasn't it?"

"I'm sorry, Astoria."

She swallowed and nodded. "Good luck Draco," she told him.

"_Obliviate._"

**I hope you all liked it **

_**Please Review!**_


	11. Conversing the Future

**CHAPTER 11 – CONVERSING THE FUTURE**

**Thank you to all the seriously AMAZING reviews that I received for chapter 10. They made my Christmas, boxing day and new year. You are all the best and I could not have hoped for more brilliant reviewers! 3**

"Wait, so the redhead thinks she's a lesbian?" Draco asked after Harry had finished his story…which was more like a novel.

"_Ginny_," Harry sighed "_thinks_ she's a lesbian because she thinks someone else thinks she's a lesbian," Harry corrected.

"And that someone else would be Patil," Draco continued "who which we already know sits on the other side of the fence."

"We're sure about her but what we're not sure about is what she actually thinks about Ginny." Harry concluded

"Okay I've got it," Draco nodded who was quite proud of himself for being able to take all of this in within a few short minutes. The two boys sat in an empty compartment on the train back to school with the door locked.

Harry felt he just really needed to get this off his chest, "Ginny's like my sister and it was really hard for me to listen to her and see her so upset and confused and I couldn't tell her about _me_…or about _us_. I know that it would have helped her. I didn't say anything because I didn't have your permission but…" Harry trailed off allowing Draco to finish the sentence for himself.

The memory of him and Astoria in the Christmas tree his Draco front on. Would he tell Harry? No, it would only do more bad than good, what was the point of possibly upsetting Harry when it was over and done? _That's another thing you're adding to the list of things you're keeping from him_, he sighed mentally to himself. He didn't _like_ keeping things from Harry but when it all passed it would be worth it, Draco kept telling himself this. If he convinced himself of it maybe he would eventually believe it to be true.

"Thank you for respecting that," Draco said at last "I know that it was hard for you."

"You'd do the same for me," Harry said automatically. Draco smiled in response.

_She doesn't remember it so it basically never happened_, Draco told himself. This was his justification.

_I'm a serpent slithering in secrets_.

Those words seemed to hiss in his mind relentlessly. Why did he feel this way? Something like this wouldn't usually bother him. He had kept things from people countless times before. It was tormenting him in a sense; he couldn't seem to shake it from his mind. _Because you know what you did was wrong_. Draco tried to unsuccessfully shake that thought away as well. _It's over_, he repeated these words to himself, telling himself that there was no point worrying over this. He thought logically. Factually. Two people knew. One didn't remember. The other wasn't going to say anything. End of story, nothing would happen unless he said anything, which he wasn't. So to all those who knew nothing better, everything was fine.

_Everything was fine_.

_Nothing was wrong_.

_Everything was fine_.

"Draco are you feeling okay?" Harry asked concerned.

"Headache," Draco said as he waved it off absentmindedly "everything's fine."

Harry got up and placed a quick kiss to the blonde's forehead.

"I've got to go," he said looking like a five year old who didn't want to leave the playground and go home "drink some water, it'll help."

"We'll see each other Sunday," Draco said trying his best to smile.

"Sunday?" Harry frowned.

"Well we missed the first of the month because we were Christmas break," Draco explained "so we're making up for the lost party tonight."

"Oh good," Harry said happily, any reason to see Draco was good "I'll see you Sunday night then." He looked over his shoulder before he left, "Or sooner…"

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Hermione pushed her bowel of ice cream away; she had eaten _far_ too much.

"I can't believe we're back already," Ron grumbled.

"I'm just glad tomorrow is a Saturday," Harry finished the last spoonful of his jelly.

"You two are so grumpy," Hermione huffed "Ginny, _you're_ happy to be back aren't you?" Hermione looked at Ginny with a 'set a good example' look.

This didn't work its magic. "There was no avoiding it," she said gravely.

Hermione sighed. Harry was dreading next week; he knew that he would rather be on top of the Eiffel Tower rather than in a History of Magic class.

"Harry are you thinking about what I think you're thinking about?" Ginny asked. Harry snapped out of his thoughts and looked at Ginny nervously.

"What did you think I was thinking about?" he asked slowly.

"Quidditch…?" Ginny said with a silent '_obviously_'.

"Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff," Harry nodded catching on quickly "tomorrow afternoon."

"Yes, I think the whole team should go. It could be useful. And are we _seriously_ training every night this week?" she said with a groan.

"Well the game is the week after next and there is definitely room for improvement in some areas. I have some things that I'd like to work on. We have a good team," he finished reassuringly.

Hermione sighed. _Quidditch_, she thought, mentally rolling her eyes she opened a book.

"Do you want to win or not?" Ron asked his sister.

"No Ronald, I want to come in last place." She said sarcastically. She rolled her eyes, "Of course I want to win the cup, but there are some other things that I would like to preoccupy my evenings with."

"Like what?" Ron asked with a small frown.

"I'd _love_ to help preoccupy your evenings," Dean said with a smirk. He was sitting next to Ginny, she picked up her spoon and scooped a bit out of his bowel and popped it into her mouth with an '_I'm sure you would'_ look.

"_What?_" Ron said half snarling.

"I'm sure he means help her study," Harry said quickly. Harry admired Ginny's bravery although he knew it was just really Ginny's love of stirring her brother up.

"Oh yeah, Dean and I are super serious about 'homework' and 'studying' this year." Ginny nodded trying her best to look serious and professional. Hermione looked up from her book with raised eyebrows. "So we're going to find ourselves a totally private place where all we do is _homework_ and _studying_. And every time we enter our _study zone_ we'll be in the mood and this means no interruptions, no distractions, no _other people_…well you get the picture. We're really set on it being a place for _full on studying_ were the only thing we do is _homework_. And yes, we know that you should never _study_ on a bed, a couch or on the floor because you won't do your best work. This place will need a firm and comfortable chair and a large enough desk to spread out our materials." At the mention of this Harry promptly snorted at the same time he swallowed his pumpkin juice. "Yes Harry, we will need to use _equipment _such as a ruler, a rubber and many textbooks to inform us." There was no saving Ginny at this point; Harry didn't know what funnier, Ginny's or Ron's facial expressions. "Don't worry Hermione, we're well aware of the things that will distract us. Things like games, toys and magazines. We also know that inviting a friend could mean our _study session _becomes a _social session_ and _study-wise_, not what we're looking for. We'll make a timetable and we'll try to stick to it as much as possible." Harry who was trying to hold in his laughs looked like he was convulsing and trying to hold in sneezes.

"So yes Ronald, Dean and I are going to _study, study, study_ and that is what I plan to preoccupy my evenings with."

Hermione looked absolutely flabbergasted that the things she was best at could be so completely innuendo-edly.

Ron's jaw had long dropped open.

Dean and Ginny laughed. "We're kidding Ron," Dean assured him, still laughing.

"We are?" Ginny said looking slightly crestfallen.

"Trust me," Hermione said meaningfully "you are."

"So you…you've…" Ron spluttered. He looked at Harry desperately with eyes that silently prayed for it not to be true, "…they've…"

Harry nodded in an 'I'm sorry to break it to you' manner.

"Well this is about to get awkward," Ginny said as she swung her leg over the seat and stood up "so we'll see you guys later."

Dean took her hand and they walked out of the Great Hall.

Ron's face was pale. "Dear Merlin…"

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"Ginny let's _go_," Harry said for the seventh time in the past fifteen minutes.

"You can yell and hoot but she won't move until she's ready." Dean sighed as he lounged across the common room couch.

"What is she doing in there?" Harry asked Dean. "The game starts in _ten minutes_!"

Dean shrugged his shoulders powerlessly. "She's probably got a knot in her hair or something."

"I don't get women," Harry said shaking his head. Dean laughed in response.

"Are you sure you don't both want to come too?" Harry asked Ron and Hermione.

"We'd love to Harry but I need to help Ron with his potions essay in the library," Hermione explained. She gave Ron a stern look. "If he had done it last week when he was supposed to he would be able to go."

"It's only Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw," Ron shrugged. Hermione looked at him hopelessly, rolled her eyes and sighed. Harry wondered why Ron wasn't as bothered as he usually was about doing homework and he wondered why he wasn't making a bigger fuss about missing a Quidditch game.

Ginny came out of her dorm and walked down into the common room.

"Ready?" she asked brightly. Dean looked at Harry and burst out laughing.

Harry rolled his eyes, "Let's go."

As soon as the three left the common room it was empty and silent. Except for Ron and Hermione.

"Potions essay huh?" Ron smirked.

"You could have put on a better act," Hermione chided him. Ron rolled his eyes.

"Did no one else ever think that a Quidditch game would be the perfect time to have some quality sex in the castle with all the students and teachers are outside?" Ron asked as he scooted closer to her on the couch.

Hermione didn't even answer. She pulled Ron close to her finding his lips with her own. Kissing him Hermione realised just how much she yearned for this. They began kissing and bumping their noses together. The Christmas holiday would have been a perfect time to be alone together but no such thing had happened. Being at the Burrow Hermione was too frightened that someone would interrupt them and she certainly didn't want a repeat of the Grimmauld Place incident. Ron crushed the invisible space between himself and Hermione as he pressed himself closer to her. He had missed this so much. Hermione was very private about their relationship but it wasn't even that that stopped them from being intimate more often. It was that they simply either didn't have time or they couldn't find a suitable place.

After several long minutes of snogging Ron decided that the common room couch wasn't a suitable place for their activities. He reluctantly broke their kiss and help Hermione off the couch. He scooped her up into his arms where she blushed and kissed him. He brought them up into the boys' dormitory and gently placed Hermione on the bed. He reached over to her and pulled up her woollen turtleneck top, throwing it on the bed next to his, which happened to be Harry's. Hermione lifted up Ron's tshirt and then ran her hands down his pale chest. She put her hand behind his neck and pulled him forward in a passion that exploded as soon as their lips met. Wriggling against each other they tugged of their pants and threw them in a clump in the corner. Hermione wrapped her legs around Ron's waist. He left her lips and kissed down her chin, her neck, her chest. His fingers unclasped her ice blue bra and pulled it out through her arms and onto the floor. Her fingers ran through his vibrant red hair as his tongue traced a circle around her nipple before sucking on it. She arched her back making his mouth press harder against her breast. His hand snaked up to her other breast and he rolled her nipple with his fingers before pinching it making her cry out, "Ron!"

Ron sat up and leaned against the bed post while Hermione went over and sat crossed legged on Ron with him pressed up against her. He brought their faces close and snogged her while she ground against him. He felt the heat build in his cock and bucked up against her as he his erection grew. She hopped off him much to his dismay and jumped off the bed.

"Pants off," she ordered him pointing to the underwear that was covering him rock hard erection. She bent down to pick up her jeans. Her hand went into the pocket and pulled out a small vile filled with a liquid that seemed to alter between a bright pink and a dark golden colour. She pulled down her own panties and shimmied them off with her legs.

Hermione tossed the vial over to a now very naked Ron. "Drink all of that," she instructed him. She walked back over the bed.

"What does it do?" Ron asked mystified by the changing colours. Hermione sat down straddling his left leg thigh and wrapped her hand around Ron's agonizingly hard cock.

"Do you trust me?" Hermione asked him, her voice a purr. Whether it was a question of trust or not either way Ron couldn't think straight with Hermione's hand running up and down his shaft. He pulled the small cork out of the vial and drank the potion without hesitation. It tasted sweet, like a dessert of some sort. It ran smoothly down his throat, it made him feel…_sugary_. _Sweet._ If it were even possible for one to feel '_syrupy_'. Hermione draped her hands around Ron's neck giving him a fiery kiss before taking her mouth elsewhere. Ron sat on the edge of the bed as Hermione moved onto the floor on her knees.

Ron closed his eyes and groaned as Hermione's hot mouth took in the length of Ron's cock. He held her hair back, running his hands through it, as she continued to run her tongue around it.

"Shit Hermione!" Ron gasped his blue eyes widening as Hermione's hand sneaked up and cupped his balls. His moans awoke something within her and she realised with a throb just how much she wanted Ron. Ron was lost in the ecstasy that was Hermione Granger's mouth. He didn't know what had stirred inside of her but he had fallen lustfully in love with the wild girl that was on her knees before him. Hermione continued to suck him until Ron exploded in her mouth.

"Merlin yess!" Ron hissed as he came. Ron in his pinnacle state did not realise that the cum dripping out of Hermione's mouth was in fact _pink_. The potion he had swallowed earlier gave flavouring to his sperm. Hermione found that tasting the _fairy floss_ flavoured cum made her suck harder, milking him for more. This made Ron cry out as he rode out his orgasm.

As Ron came down from his high he brought Hermione up to him and kissed her. He broke the kiss with a confused from. "You taste…sweet," he said slowly "I've never tasted that before."

"The potion I gave you gives you flavoured sperm," she explained as she pressed herself closer to his chest "the flavour is fairy floss." Ron frowned again. "It's a muggle sweet…sort of."

"You're so clever," he moaned as he felt her breasts on him "I love you."

"I love you too," she smiled. He kissed her; she felt his hot breath near her ear. "Ron," she moaned "I need you in me…_now_." The desperation in her tone caused him to once again become impossibly hard.

"Hermione you're so wet," he shuddered in pleasure as he positioned himself at her entrance.

"You have no idea what you do to me Ronald Weasley," she told him as he clit throbbed. He didn't wait, he didn't hesitate. In one swift movement he thrust himself in her.

Hermione's mouth opened and issued a silent scream. She bit her lip trying to hold back a cry.

"You're so tight," Ron said as his hands went up to her hips holding them still as she squirmed in pleasure underneath him. He began to thrust in an out of her. Pounding into her. Watching as her breasts moved in time to his thrusts.

"Ron…don't stop," she gasped. Her hand moved down to her clit and with her middle finger she rubbed it in circles causing heat to course through her. "Please, please…please," Hermione wasn't entirely sure what she was begging for but nonetheless the words escaped her mouth in a moan.

"Tell me what you want Hermione," Run said to the beautiful girl underneath him.

"Make…make me…" Ron suddenly hit that spot and it made her lose her articulation and ability to speak. She didn't know what to do, she didn't know where to put her hands – everything just felt so good.

"Make you what?"

"Oh Merlin Ron," Hermione cried out in rapture "make me cum all over you cock."

Ron groaned. Her words went straight to his cock which was buried deep inside her. Never had she said something so untamed. She began to move him hips in time with his thrusts. How Hermione desired him so; his handsome face, his string arms that held her. She wanted all of him. She wanted to merge into him. Ron was elated that the girl he was making love to was Hermione granger. He loved her quirks, her cleverness, her way with words, the way she was with him, even the ways she berated him, he loved everything about her. And whilst thrusting into her tight wet core he realised the many other ways he loved her also.

"Ron!" She screamed his name as she came. Her juices running down his cock sending him over the edge to his own climax as well. As they both came down from their immaculate high Ron pulled out of her and spread her legs further apart. Hermione bucked her hips up in anticipation as she realised what he was about to do. Ron brought his mouth to Hermione's pussy and flicked his tongue over her clit. He then began to jut his tongue in and out making her cry out his name. Finally, he thrust his tongue inside her tight hole.

Ron moaned as he looked back up at her, "Caramel." He went straight back to lavishing her as she rode his tongue.

Suddenly the door swung open and Harry walked into the room laughing. "Ginny that's so–" Harry froze as he turned and saw Ron and Hermione. His mouth dropped open and his eyes widen to a size that rivalled dinner plates.

"Oh my MERLIN!" Harry yelped his hands raced up to shield his eyes. "Fucking hell! You think being the brightest which of your age you could lock a bloody door?" He tried to feel around for the door so that he could leave. Oh he found the door alright, except he discovered it as he walked right into it. His nose collided with the hard wood and his forehead hit the door with enough force to make a dull _thud_ sound. Harry ended up tripping over his own feet incredibly ungracefully and fell on the floor, his face awfully close to Hermione's panties. "Ow!" he cried out. "Bloody shit that hurts, good Godric!"

Ron's face which was buried in Hermione pussy snapped up in horror. Hermione's arms crossed over her chest in order to cover her breasts.

The three Gryffindors then heard footsteps. "Harry are you alright?" the voice called as it came closer. Ginny appeared in the doorway and looked at Harry on the floor, who despite all the pain he was in was still covering his eyes.

"What happ–" Ginny looked up to see her brother doing something to Hermione, who was basically her sister "Holy sweet mother of Merlin!" Ginny shouted. "What the _hell_ is wrong with you two?" She swiftly shut her eyes tightly and reached for Harry on the floor. She hoisted him up and they slowly walked towards the door, taking care not to bash into it again.

"You are both feral," Ginny moaned "at least _I_ lock the blasted door when I'm at it!"

"Why is it me every time?" Harry complained with a whimper.

"Are you happy now?" Ginny asked the both of them with closed eyes "That you've traumatised your best friend? Godric help us all!" They removed their hands from their eyes as they locked the door and went down to the common room. "Stuff the hospital wing Harry, you'll need to go straight to the '_emotionally _screwed' institution at St. Mungo's. Fucking _hell_ that is _not right_. I need to pour bleach in my brain." Ginny told him.

"I don't think I'll ever recover," Harry moaned.

An hour later after Ron and Hermione had, by order of Harry and Ginny, had a shower _separately_, put clothes on and disinfected the dorm room. The four were sitting in the deserted common room. Hermione and Ron were both scarlet red.

"Seventh floor," Ginny began "Room of Requirement. New invention. You should give it a go. Even better, it's something called a _lo-ck-ing charm._" Ginny said in syllables as if it would help them understand the concept better.

"We're really really sorry," Hermione started genuinely.

"We didn't know the match would be that quick," Ron explained meekly.

"Look I'm not saying don't use the dorm," Harry said fairly "Even though I've never done it in there I'm sure the dorm is a great place to…just if you are, use a locking charm. _And _a silencing charm. Please. Otherwise there are plenty of other places in the castle to…host your activities."

Hermione buried her head in her hands out of sheer embarrassment. "I'm sorry that you always seem to walk in on us Harry," Hermione apologised "we know we really ought to be more cautious."

"How is it we never walk in on you?" Ron said grumbling at the turn of events.

"Because we're careful and thorough," Harry replied "and we don't fancy being caught either." Harry dreaded the day that Hermione or Ron would walk in on him and Draco. He had a feeling that Ginny wouldn't be too bad. He wondered why he thought that…

"May I just say that I am absolutely disgusted," Ginny said "Ron…I don't think I'll ever recover. Hermione, if you're smart enough to make a potion that changes the flavour of cum then I'm sure you're smart enough to lock a door." Ron thought she sounded like Mrs. Weasley very much.

"How did you know about that?" Hermione and Ron said at the same time as Harry said, "You _what_?"

"I have my ways," Ginny said dismissively.

"Look can this, _please_, not happen again?" Harry asked the two of them desperately "For many more reasons than one."

"We promise," Hermione nodded.

"Promise, mate." Ron agreed.

"They have to walk in on you _twice_ now." Ginny concluded to Harry with a happy sigh.

"_Ginny!_" The three reprimanded.

"What!"

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Ginny was tense. She stood outside the sixth year's girls dorm door. She tunred the iron handle and opened the door. Hermione, Lavender, Parvati and two other girls whom Ginny did not know their names slept here. Ginny had left dinner early to do this. She walked in closed the door behind her. She turned around finding Parvati sitting cross-legged on her bed.

"Hi," Ginny blurted out automatically, it seemed the polite thing to do.

"Hi," Parvati replied, she felt very uncomfortable.

"Thanks for leaving dinner to do this," Ginny said quickly as she sat down on the bed opposite to the one Parvati was on.

Parvati shrugged and nodded. "You asked and well, I owe it to you."

Ginny nodded. She was then confronted with an awkward silence. She didn't really know how to start this.

"Look Ginny, I don't really want to have this conversation with you," she paused and sighed "but like I said, I owe it to you. I'm sorry about what happened. No I'm not sorry that I did it, I'm sorry that I ran away. You must have had a pretty shithouse holiday."

"If shithouse is locking yourself in your room and being an emotional wreck then yeah, it was pretty shithouse." Ginny agreed. She didn't feel angry towards Parvati for being the one to start all these confusing thoughts in her head. However she was just desperate to know what the girl was thinking, then finally she could have some closure. And boy did she need closure.

Parvati grimaced. "Okay," she let out a big sigh and looked up at the ceiling. She nodded and then began, "You know I'm gay." It wasn't a question however it still expected an answer to continue.

"Yes," Ginny answered "I figured that out for myself funnily enough." Her tone was lightly teasing, she was trying to do anything she could to stop the grimness of this conversation thicken even further.

"Really? What gave it away?" Parvati asked with a small laugh.

"You're tongue trying to get into my mouth," Ginny replied with a smirk.

Parvati tried to hide her blush with an uncaring shrug. "You know how Lavender and I are best friends?"Ginny nodded and Parvati continued. "Last year when we started school again I remember meeting up with her on the train here and I remember thinking 'I've missed her so much,' us girls here at Hogwarts we basically live together. So when she started talking about how when she left Hogwarts she wanted to move away from home, maybe go to America. It shocked me that we wouldn't be with each other every day. I mean, we've grown up together. It's the norm, it's all I've know. So it came as a shock when I realised that we'd grow up, we'd move on, we wouldn't be living together. She talked about renting an apartment. I suddenly I started to imagine myself going with her, living in that apartment with her. But that seemed normal to me, she's my best friend. Then a few weeks later I found myself imagining all of it. The colour of the curtains, the type of bed sheets, the location, things that I usually don't give a shit about. But then there was this one night where I was in bed and I was imagining us _living_ there." She gave a dry laugh and shake of her head. "We were in our pyjamas on a green second hand sofa watching TV. I looked over at her and I looked at her golden hair how it fell in curls down her face. And without even thinking about what I was thinking I leaned over and kissed her. And she kissed me back. Then I heard Hermione turning the page of her book and I snapped out of it." She looked seriously at Ginny. "No joke, it scared me shitless. You have no idea what was going through my head."

"I have some idea," Ginny said quietly. Parvati didn't miss it but she kept talking.

"Then slowly slowly I started to realise. I didn't want it at first but then I understood that not wanting that meant not wanting my happiness. Plus, I couldn't just _stop_. So I grew with, I kept my feelings to myself. I didn't stare when they would get changed and no one knew any better. It was tough knowing that Lav was so straight you could use her as a ruler and that she thought people that were gay were disgusting. It was hard, but I was still in love with her. At the end of last year when we all went home I told Padma, she's my twin sister and I was stumped how I had kept it from her that long anyway. Our parents," she paused and winced slightly "they're not very…accepting of this sort of stuff. We were raised a certain way and when I realised I was what they were against it was _hard_. But with Padma, she didn't have the time to understand the way I did. I lived with myself and I had learned, she hadn't. But she was still my sister and she loves me and that was the only way she was able to learn too. She's a very private person and she hasn't said anything to mum or dad which is a good thing. So she knows and she's fine with it. Harry knows too, he figured it out." Parvati concluded her story.

"Wow," Ginny breathed out.

"Tell me about it," Parvati said running a hand through her long dark hair.

"I don't feel bad anymore though," Ginny admitted.

"About what?" Parvati frowned.

"When Harry came over to our house after his holiday he's the only one I'd let talk to me and he guessed why I was acting weird and I ended up telling him everything. So I felt bad that I had told him about you without asking you if it was okay." Ginny explained.

Parvati didn't even bother with telling her that she didn't mind at all. "I'm sorry I made you freak out," she said earnestly, she looked like she felt bad about the whole ordeal "it was all my fault. I should have said something not just have left you there looking like a fish out of water. I feel horrible."

"I know how you must have been feeling," Ginny countered fairly "but now it's mine turn okay?" Parvati nodded and let Ginny begin. "You kissed me and I wasn't prepared for that. When I got home I was shitting myself. You know what I thought? _'Why me? Why did she choose me?'_"

"It's not like I chose you on purpose, I can't help the way I fee–" Parvati halted as Ginny gave her her Mrs. Weasley look "sorry keep going."

"I asked Harry what he thought and he gave me a load of toad spawn about me being smart and talented and a good Chaser. But I don't think that was the reason. You're not stupid Parvati–"

"Thanks," she said wryly.

"–you wouldn't like me if you knew that you didn't have a chance with me. You," Ginny hesitated "you think I'm a lesbian." Ginny was talking a little frantically and she completely missed the fact that Parvati's eyebrows were raised in surprise. "So these whole holidays I've been a bloody disaster thinking that if someone who is a lesbian thinks I'm a lesbian well they'd know wouldn't they? I've been more hysterical than an uprooted Mandrake."

"Are you always this edgy?" Parvati asked taking Ginny by surprise. "You've worked yourself into a state by trying to guess what I've been thinking because you're desperate for information."

"So what are you getting at?" Ginny asked frustrated.

"Ginny I liked you because you are very beautiful, you've got a sharp mouth, you're a great flyer, you don't take shit from anyone and you've got a good sense of humour. Ginny listen to me," her light tone evaporated and she was serious "in life, sometimes you have to go for things with the knowledge that you might not get them. But it's not about whether you do or you don't, it's the trying that matters. It's about believing in yourself and feeling that pure want inside of you. That's what it's about. Sometimes you're going to be standing at the bottom of a big mountain and yeah when you get to the other side great but what really mattered was the hike, the effort you put it. Because you pushed on, you gave it a go; you felt that desire in you. Sometimes whether it'll work out or not, you gotta try." Parvati told him.

Ginny nodded. "So," she said frowning "you don't…think I'm a lesbian?"

"No," she smiled kindly "I don't." Then she stopped and asked hesitantly, "Do _you_ think you're a lesbian?"

Ginny blinked. "I…" she looked at Parvati blankly not sure what to say let alone what she was thinking. "Really like being with Dean but…"

"Let me help you out." Without hesitating Parvati leaned forward and kissed Ginny. The girls' mouths moved slowly. This time round, Ginny relaxed instead of tensing up and opened her mouth to let Parvati's tongue through. Ginny waited for the emotion to hit her or feel the tingles she felt run down her back when Dean kissed. She waited for her imagination to start running away with her or to want more. But all she felt were…lips. Ginny ended the kiss.

"Well?"

"It's not that you're not a good kisser," Ginny said "but I think guys float my boat."

Parvati laughed. "Cool…happy I could help," she shrugged then added "oh um hey, could we keep that between us? It's just that I'm seeing someone at the moment and she wouldn't be too happy."

"Dean wouldn't be too thrilled either," Ginny agreed "I won't say anything." She promised.

"Speaking of Dean, you have," she raised her eyebrows meaningfully "right?"

"Yeah," Ginny nodded.

"And it wasn't good?" Parvati guessed.

"No it was great," Ginny shook her head and frowned confused, she wasn't sure at what Parvati was getting at.

"I was just wondering because if it felt great and normal then why would you question your sexuality?" she asked.

"Anxiety does stuff to your mind and it sort of screws everything up," Ginny told her honestly.

"Ah," Parvati concurred "sorry to kick you out but I've got to go and meet up with Katie in ten minutes so I have to go."

Ginny did a double take. "Katie _Bell_?"

Parvati had an amused expression on her face. "Yeah, Katie _Bell_."

Ginny couldn't help it, she thought of all the times they had showered in the change rooms after Quidditch. She couldn't believe that Parvati had found someone in a span of two and a half weeks.

"What?" Parvati asked laughing "I have a thing for Chasers okay!"

"Katie's one of my best friends," Ginny told Parvati "you better adore her."

"I'll worship the broom she flies on I promise," Parvati smiled "now go! Do you know how long it takes to braid hair as long as mine?"

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Sit down," she ordered. She moved over onto Parvati's bed and sat behind her. "French, Dutch, waterfall or ordinary?" Ginny asked as she took hold of Parvati's hair.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry had been having a great time at the sixth year's parties. So he didn't understand why the crowd kept on getting smaller. Tonight's attendants were himself, Ron, Hermione, Draco, Pansy, Blaise, Neville, Dean, Padma, Lavender and Hannah. Just the eleven of them.

"Where's Parvati?" Hermione asked Padma as everyone found a cushion to sit on.

"She said that she was busy tonight," Padma replied.

"Looks like our debate last month put a few people out," Pansy noted. Blaise looked around and nodded in agreement.

"Anyway so before the break Snape told the class that…" chatter broke out among the students as everyone arrived. Pansy Accio'd a bad from the corner and threw it in the center of the circle of cushions. The room tonight seemed very colourful. There were bright patterns on the wall and the fabric of the pillows seemed to be woven skilfully too. All that seemed to be missing were streamers and balloons.

"I don't want to strain my voice by shouting," Draco sighed brushing a hand through his gorgeous pale blonde hair "Pansy would you get everyone's attention?"

Pansy moved her hands to either side of her mouth. "EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP!" Pansy shouted. The talking died down immediately and all eyes were on Pansy.

"I had whistling in mind but that works too," Draco nodded.

"You're welcome," Pansy said dryly.

"The floor's all yours Zabini," Draco said to Blaise.

"I know that many of you are incapable of putting two and two together so if you haven't already noticed the room is decorated for a party. However we're not having a party." Blaise said addressing the group.

"Gotta love how much sense Slytherins make don't you?" Ron muttered to Harry.

Harry chuckled under his breath.

"Instead we're just participating in the games you usually have at a party. To keep it interesting we're _not_ open to suggestions. We're playing four things. First is _would you rather_, second is _spin the bottle_, third is _something you don't know about me is_ and last is _I have never_. And yes, we're using Firewhiskey for that." Blaise concluded with a grin.

"But tomorrow's Monday," Padma said in an objective manner.

"So?" Blaise questioned not catching on to what she was saying at all.

"_So_ if we're drinking Firewhiskey we are all going to be hung over on a school day." Padma said exasperated.

"Oh Ravenclaw," Pansy said sadly as if she were speaking to a five year old "you're such a good girl aren't you?"

Padma glared at her.

"We're not stupid," Pansy said rolling her eyes "we have a hangover potion for tomorrow morning."

"She made a valid point," Hermione said backing Padma up. Padma gave Hermione a 'what do you do?' look and Hermione shrugged. Harry noticed the budding friendship between the two girls.

"So who would like to go first now that we've all agreed we're going to be sober and ready to absorb a textbook tomorrow morning?" Pansy asked. Padma gave her a withering look.

"Draco, start?" Blaise asked.

"Okay," Draco agreed he looked around the circle "Granger. Would you rather…" he paused to think of something and as he thought a grin spread over his face "fail a test or give professor Snape sexual favours?"

Hermione wrinkled up her nose in disgust. There was a mixture of "Eeew's" and "Ooooh's" among the students.

Hermione huffed. "That's _hard_," she said biting her bottom lip.

"Are you _serious_?" Ron asked with wide eyes.

"Well it is!" Hermione said honestly.

"It really isn't," Lavender said looking slightly disturbed.

"Would you answer the question?" Draco demanded.

"Okay, okay!" Hermione said looking rushed. "I'd rather…well what kind of test would it be?" Almost everyone groaned. "And what would I be doing for Snape?"

"You'd be ah…sucking Snape off," Draco looked faintly nauseated at the idea also "and it would be a charms exam."

Hermione looked thoughtful. "I supposed I'd rather fail the test," she said almost miserably.

"It's like trying to draw magic out of a muggle," Pansy said shaking her head.

"If you had chosen the other option I would have been worried," Ron told her with a hint of a smile.

The next few questions were directed at Neville, Lavender and Hannah. Harry was chosen after these, by Ron.

"Would you rather, for your Animagus, be a slug or cockroach?" Ron asked.

"Well slugs are really slow," Harry said weighing up his options "but cockroaches get squashed really easily." Harry thought for a bit and then finally said, "I'd rather be a cockroach."

"I would too," Ron agreed "your turn."

Harry looked around the circle. But really, it was just an act. He knew who he was going to choose. It was a risk but he _was_ a Gryffindor. Draco felt it coming and rolled his eyes, Harry was _such_ a Gryffindor.

"Malfoy." Harry said. Draco raised his chin a little. "Would you rather…" Harry's green eyes searched the Slytherin's grey ones "spend a day in the past or a day in the future?"

Everyone looked at each other and gave small nods, all liking the question.

"Well if I spent a day in the past it would be pretty useless, Potter." Draco said. "I wouldn't be able to discover anything or alert myself to something or avoid a bad decision or mistake. But if I spent a day in the future it would rule my present. I would do things; make decisions that would guarantee the same future that I saw. That would make a very structured and inflexible. It's a bit too…disagreeable for my liking. Also if I was in the past I could view a historic moment or revisit a moment that had particular meaning to me." Everyone fell quite during Draco's explanation, listening to his thoughts.

"So what would you choose," Harry asked again "past or future?"

"I'd rather the future," Draco finally said "if it came down to it that's what I'd choose." Draco shrugged. "And what would you choose, Potter?"

"The past," Harry replied immediately "I could be at my parents' wedding, I could spend a day with my family, see things that I'll never be able to. You're able to see your future…eventually. But never the past if it's not your own." Draco thought Harry sounded very wise. He also realised that they had picked different realms. _We can be in the present together_, he thought with a private smile.

"Would you rather lick the bottom of Hagrid's foot or get bitten by a Blast-ended Skrewt?" Padma asked Blaise.

A look of pure revoltion crossed his face. "The skrewt," Blaise said "hands down."

"Would you rather Ginny date Zabini or Malfoy?" Hermione asked Ron who looked at her in astonishment.

"Neither!" Ron said almost yelping.

"You've got to choose," she said with a teasing smile.

"The redhead wouldn't have chance with him," Pansy pointed to Blaise "he's taken."

Harry had to stop himself from blurting out, 'No one's touching Draco, he's mine.' Ron looked between the two boys clearly not happy with the choice of suitors; he seemed to be having a battle inside of his head. Harry thought it to be quite amusing. He knew who he would pick.

"Sorry Malfoy, you're just took much of a foul git." Ron said not looking sorry at all. "I'd pick Zabini."

After another half an hour they moved on. Harry was starting to feel nervous. Why did this always happen to him? Couldn't they ever have one of these parties without there being a chance that he and Draco would be at risk of being discovered?

"Draco you introduce it," Blaise said lazily. Draco gave him an annoyed look before commencing.

"Spin the bottle I assume you've all played it. If you haven't played it basically the bottle spins and you kiss the person whoever it lands on. We know that some of you are in relationships, Weasel and Granger, Pansy and Blaise, and Thomas," he opened his mouth to keep on speaking but Hermione cut him off.

"Harry's in serious relationship too," Hermione commented.

"With who?" Pansy frowned.

"Someone," Harry, Ron and Hermione all said in unison. Harry rolled his eyes at the two of them.

"Oh Merlin," Pansy said shaking her head "his like this stubborn pain in the arse over here." She gestured over to Draco.

There was a cold heartbeat where Draco and Harry feared they would piece to and two together.

"Who's Malfoy with if it's not you?" Ron asked Pansy. Harry and Draco flooded with relief.

"Someone," Pansy and Blaise said irritably.

"Moving on," Draco cut in loudly before the conversation could further develop into an investigation. With a wave of his wand he conjured up two gold coloured bottles that were evidently charmed. They were placed one on top of the other. He sat back down and gave his wand a flick, "_Filate_."

The bottles spun furiously, one clockwise and one anti-clockwise. The gold started to disappear as the only colour and was replaced by many colours blossoming everywhere. Finally as two colours began to dominate either of the bottles it slowed and eventually stopped. The top bottle was a wattle coloured yellow and pointed to Hannah. The bottom bottle of was a scarlet red and was pointing at Neville.

Harry's first thought was _nice charmwork_. Then he seemed to notice the bright pink blushes on both of their cheeks. Ron gave Neville a 'go on' nudge. Neville swallowed and edged over to where Hannah was sitting. Hesitantly they both leaned in and awkwardly placed a peck on their lips. They turned, if possibly, an ever brighter shade of pink.

"Biggest pair of kirgins I have ever seen," Pansy muttered to Blaise.

"Kirgins?" Blaise whispered back confusedly.

"Kissing virgins," Pansy explained "_kirgins_."

Blaise chuckled under his breath.

Draco flicked his wand again and the bottles spun once again. The top bottle was red and the bottom was an emerald green colour. Dean and Pansy eyed each other over looking like they both had a sour taste in their mouths. Pansy got up.

"Let's get this over with," she said. She leaned in and gave him a decent kiss. Dean kept his tongue to himself for three reasons. One, he really wished it were Ginny. Two, he didn't want to get hexed by Blaise. And three, he didn't want to get hexed by Ron.

Pansy sat back down next to Blaise and gave him a long, passionate kiss. It was the kind of kiss you shouldn't see your best friends sharing, especially since it wasn't even your sexual orientation. Draco shaded his eyes with a delicate hand.

He cleared his throat loudly and flicked his wand towards the bottles. They spun off colourfully again. They were blue and red. Padma and Lavender looked at each other. Lavender's expression said _no way_. Padma felt like she was betraying her sister. She knew that Parvati had liked Lavender for a long time.

"No way Parkinson," Lavender shook her head "we're both girls."

"And?" Pansy laughed. "That doesn't make a difference. It doesn't matter what gender, the bottles landed on you both." After a look Pansy added, "And when I say kiss I mean a decent snog that lasts at least seven seconds."

Lavender looked like she was about to argue but Padma just wanted to get it over with. She closed her eyes and pretended it wasn't Lavender and leaned in and kissed her. Harry felt the urge to wrinkle his nose at the sight of the two girls snogging. Blaise however looked like his eyes could have licked up the scene. Exactly seven seconds later Padma pulled away. Lavender wiped her mouth on her sleeve and Padma rolled her eyes at the Gryffindor's lack of maturity.

The bottles yet again spun with familiar colours. The first bottle, bright red, landed on Hermione. The lower bottle blossomed a green colour. Harry seemed to see it happen before it did. The bottle slowed until it stopped, pointing at the blonde Slytherin.

Draco turned to Pansy. "I don't kiss Mudbloods!" he half hissed. _Let alone females_, he thought grumpily.

"And I don't kiss ferrets," Hermione fired back.

"Sorry Draco," Pansy said in an unfortunate tone. Harry looked at Ron. And Ron was not happy. Harry thought it was fair enough, he wasn't thrilled either.

"What do you have to say about this?" Hermione asked Ron, clearly not happy with his lack of input.

Ron tried to look like he wasn't unhappy. "I'm hoping you'll bite him." He suggested.

Hermione shut her eyes and swallowed. "Fine," she said tightly.

"It is _not _fine," Draco spat.

"You're such a girl," Hermione glared. After much arguing Draco leaned in with a wince on his face. Once Harry realised that he had nothing to worry about he actually enjoyed it. The pained look on Draco's face was priceless. He was trying to purse his lips. The kiss was so extremely awkward. Ron watched stony faced the whole time.

Draco pulled away hastily. "Wipe the smirk off your face Potter," Draco snapped at Harry with a glare.

"How can you grin at that?" Ron demanded.

"It's fun watching you squirm Malfoy," Harry replied happily.

"I did not _squirm_," Draco said coldly.

"You squirmed," Pansy and Blaise said in unison much to Draco's dislike.

The bottles set of again. Harry's smile faded as he recognised the colours that started to make a main appearance. _Please Merlin no_, Harry prayed. The bottles started to slow, spinning in a painfully slow circle. Neville, Ron, Hermione…the red bottle stopped with a dreadful stillness in front of him. He swallowed and looked at the direction of the top bottle. Draco was staring at the green bottle that was pointing at him.

"You've got to be bloody kidding me!" Harry cried. He could not _believe_ his luck. Honestly, why did these things constantly happen to him and Draco?

"Over my cursed body I'll snog him!" Draco exclaimed.

"Touch me and I'll hex your balls off," Harry warned Draco with a hard glare.

"Do not make me kiss him," he begged Pansy. _Please let me snog him senseless_, he silently wished in his head.

The different between the two boys' female friends was that Hermione would have looked torn however Pansy did the opposite.

"Pucker up buttercup," she grinned.

"You can't be serious?" Draco cried out.

"Potter," she gestured her head to Draco "get cracking."

Hermione and Ron had never felt so sorry for their best friend. Harry, keeping up the act, sighed and put on a brave face as he moved over to Draco. What Harry was most afraid of was getting too carried away and looking like how he would feel, enjoyment. As their lips met Harry felt that familiar feeling. He knew Draco's lips from the countless times his tongue had swept across them. Harry tried his best to make it a kiss but it ended up being a snog. His mind raced. _What does it look like? Do they suspect anything? Are we being too into it? How much longer? Should we stop now?_

Pansy on the other hand had other ideas.

"_Ampsurphia_," she muttered under her breath.

Draco and Harry instantly felt the effect. A burst of pleasurable energy surged within the boys. Powerless to the charm they moaned in each other's mouths. They kissed each other with desperation. Draco's back arched and Harry sucked on his bottom lip. Draco brought his hand behind Harry's neck and Harry entwined his fingers into Draco's pale blonde hair.

Ron's eyes widened with each passing moment, his mouth opening dropping open showing his appalled look. Hermione frowned, she couldn't understand how they could go from hating each other to moaning.

"_Ampsurphia_," Pansy whispered again.

Harry pushed Draco onto the floor not breaking the kiss. The boost in the charm made them almost crazy with desire. Their erections pressed against each other creating the most blissful friction. There was no thinking, there was just doing. They felt like a fire was blazing across their bodies, never had they felt such frantic want for satisfaction. Draco thrust up making Harry moan in his mouth again.

But Hermione had seen it.

"_Finite Incantatum!_" she said waving her wand.

Reality hit the boys like cold water. They wanted to keep going, to keeping touching, to just say 'fuck it all', they wanted it so bad that it hurt. They wanted it so bad that they would have given anything to have everything freeze so that they could continue. With strength that until then they didn't know they possessed they jumped apart. Panting, they looked around them at the gaping students. They waited for someone to say something.

They didn't have to wait long.

"_Pansy Parkinson_!" Hermione said angrily. Everyone's heads all looked between Pansy and Hermione. "Explain to the both of them what you did…_now_."

"What are you talking about Hermione?" Harry asked looking at Pansy's growing grin.

"She cast the Ampsurphia charm on the both of you twice." Hermione looked absolutely mortified.

"What the hell Parkinson!" Harry could not believe she had done that to _Draco_ "I just made out with Draco Malfoy," he complained his face screwing up in fake repulsion. He wiped his mouth on sleeve for good measure.

"You cunning little bitch," Draco said with an icy expression "That's was fucking disgusting." He tried his hardest not to break into a smile. He just felt so _elated_. He had basically made out with his boyfriend in front of his friends and Harry's friends. Without a consequence. He knew he would never get another chance to do that. _Ever again._ They had just shown everyone their relationship although everyone was oblivious to it. They had actually done it.

"'Disgusting' hey?" she smirked looking at Draco's erection. Draco's poise dried up at once. His face flushed. Harry suddenly became very conscious of his own condition. Draco promptly got up and walked towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Pansy called out. Her intention was never to make Draco leave. Draco turned around to answer her but Blaise beat him to it.

"Draco isn't the _wait and deflate_ type," Blaise snickered much to Draco's horror "he's more the _if you've got one don't waist it_ type." Draco put a hand over his eyes, absolutely humiliated by the whole incident.

Harry couldn't stop the laugh that escaped him, Draco _was_ that type. Luckily he wasn't the only one who seemed to find it funny.

"So where _are_ you going?" Harry asked repeating Pansy's question.

"The bathroom Potter, want to come?" Draco sneered. Harry's already painfully hard cock throbbed. Draco knew out straight that Harry would die to come, pun intended.

"Well I can't stay here," Harry said feeling embarrassed as he looked around the circle. Harry got up and walked over to the door, passing Draco and left the room. Draco shook his head as he followed. Once they were outside they didn't stop running until they reached the bathroom.

"Pansy that was feral," Lavender spat looking at Pansy accusingly.

"Oh shut up homophobe," Pansy snapped back.

"Poor Harry," Ron groaned.

"How could you take away their choice like that?" Hermione demanded from Pansy.

"It seemed like they were enjoying it to me," Pansy said innocently but then glared at Hermione "and I was mid-orgasm before you killed it Granger."

"You're unbelievable!" Padma exclaimed. "They could have done something that they would have regretted and Hermione was right to stop it before it got out of hand."

"I thought it was hilarious," Blaise offered "but you better watch it Pansy, Draco's going to get you back." He supplied a knowing grin.

"You might have thought it was funny but Harry and Malfoy didn't," Neville said as loudly as his nervous voice could manage.

"Spare me," Pansy sneered.

"Neville's right," Ron said indignantly "Harry and Malfoy hate each other."

"You are all so boring," Pansy pointed out. The obvious majority against her didn't bother her at all.

"There's a difference between having fun and crossing a line," Hermione said firmly.

"She's right," Padma commented.

"In Slytherin," Pansy smiled too sweetly "there _are_ no lines."

"Then don't get a Gryffindor involved," Hermione said sharply with finality in her tone.

Back in the bathroom the boys finished jerking off one another and licked each other's cum of their fingers. They pulled each other close and kissed.

"We've….got to…go," Harry said in between kisses.

"I know," Draco replied before going back to Harry's lips hungrily. They skilfully walked towards the bathroom door with their lips still interlocked. They knew the risks involved with kissing out in the open corridors, but they were just too needy.

"I forgot what this felt like," Harry panted.

"The nights out in the corridors," Draco mused in agreement. They had forgotten how they used to meet here at night. And risk being caught of course. They used to snog in the open corridors, in the early days of their relationship.

"Why don't we meet out here anymore?" Harry asked.

"Because now we're smarter," Draco said. Harry thought that was a very wise answer before Draco added, "Now we have sex in a room that accommodates us instead of snogging in an open corridor."

As they walked back hand in hand Harry remembered one of the nights that they had met out here…

…_Draco leaned back against the wall. He looked at his watch. Again. It was two past eleven. If Draco was anything he was punctual. He had arrived here four minutes ago. Out here in the dark where it was deathly quiet, time seemed to slow to an unnaturally measured pace. He huffed. Why was he even here? He knew why he was here. He was here because no matter how much he didn't want to be here he couldn't not be here. It was a very short time ago that he had realised why his relationships didn't have meaning to them. He always thought it was because after the coldness and shallowness he had endured as a child nothing could have had meaning again. But then he discovered why there wasn't meaning and uncovered where there was meaning. And then suddenly he had become hungry for it; meaning. Harry gave him meaning. Draco had obsessed over and over about why did it have to be him? Harry Potter? But regardless of who it was Draco was thirsty for him. He had told Harry from the moment they agreed to do this that he didn't give a shit who Harry was. He didn't care if he was the almighty famous Chosen One. The Boy Who Lived, Gryffindor's talented seeker, the person who defeated You Know Who, this all ricocheted right off Draco. He would just be 'Harry'. _

"_I'm not making any exceptions for you just because you're Harry Potter," Draco had told him "I'm not attracted to you because of that." _

_From that sentence on Harry was infactuated. He had found it. Not 'it' but 'that person'. That person that didn't like him for his title but for himself. That person that was able to look past that but more importantly see that Harry didn't like all that attention at all. Harry was engrossed with Draco from that moment on. He recalled that Ginny hadn't spoken to him for a good three years because he was The Harry Potter. Harry wasn't for looking for someone who was fanatical with his story, but infatuated with him as a person. As an individual. _

_Draco almost jumped out of his skin when Harry pulled off his invisibility cloak right next to him. _

"_Merlin, Potter!" Draco hissed trying to bring his heart rate back to a healthy pace. _

"_Sorry," Harry said. _

"_How long have you been standing there?" Draco asked suspiciously. _

_Harry shrugged. "Not long," he said vaguely. Draco took that as a 'before you got here' as Harry put the cloak into his robes. _

_Draco's breath began to climb in speed as he looked at Harry. He could feel his heartbeat in his chest. Hesitantly he started to lean in. He knew that once he got into it it would be good. It was just getting there that was the issue. Harry too always felt the part that was the hardest was the moment that they decided to kiss and began to move in but not touching yet. Harry leaned in too and met Draco half way. Their kiss was guarded. Draco couldn't really describe the feeling. It was sort of like being raised told that you weren't able touch the trunk of a tree because it was poisonous and when you realised that you could in fact touch it you ran your hands across the bark with caution and hesitation, prepared to jerk your hand away in case it was indeed deadly. Their kissing was always silent. They were scared to make a sound, even to moan in case it would be like electricity and zap the other off. _

_As their lips moved and their eyes closed. Their kisses were never desperate or hungry. They were prized, or respected as if they were a privilege or a luxury that they could rarely afford. Draco very carefully ran his tongue across Harry's bottom lip; this was how he asked for permission without breaking the kiss that they hardly ever got to have. Harry opened his mouth more allowing Draco's tongue to enter. It made electricity run through both of them. Harry, following Draco, slipping his tongue into the blonde's mouth. _

_Draco's hand fumbled around on the wall searching for the door knob to an empty classroom. He found it and turned it, opening the door and pulling Harry in with him. Once they were in and the door was closed silently, they resumed kissing. Draco decided to go a bit further. They were always very guarded when they kissed. Like a tear in a piece of clothing, Draco wanted to stitch up the hole just a little. He moved his hands up to Harry's tie and loosened it, sliding it off from around his neck. Harry's eyes fluttered open to see Draco's still closed. He was now very conscious of Draco's hand that had now undone the first button of his shirt. He started to feel very insecure very quickly. The Slytherin undid the third button and moved his hand down to undo the fourth. Harry tried to shake away his feelings, telling himself that they were silly. But they weren't. He abruptly broke the kiss and stepped back doing the buttons back up. _

_Draco looked at him with a confused expression. He didn't understand why Harry had moved. He knew that Harry was probably expecting a 'did I do something wrong?' but Draco just wasn't like that. _

"_What's wrong?" he asked. Harry looked very shaken. One minute he was fine and the next he looked sort of distressed. That wasn't the result Draco had been expecting. _

"_I'm sorry," Harry said quickly but then he looked at the floor and with closed eyes he sighed and looked back up into Draco's grey eyes "I'm just not ready for that."_

_Draco frowned. Not that he was angry or upset, he was just confused. He didn't understand Harry's thinking. All Draco wanted to do was take off his shirt, he was asking for any form of intimacy. _

"_I know that you've…" Harry started looking agitated and uncomfortable "but I haven't," he quickly cut himself off and started again "I'm just not ready to take that step yet. And I know that I'm the one that asked for this but I just want to take this slowly." _

"_I wasn't meaning for us to…" Draco trailed off. I mean, of course he had thought about it but he wasn't totally prepared for that either. How could he have not thought about it? _

"_I know," Harry said quickly "it's just…it's complicated." I was always told that I wasn't special and that I was nothing and I need to get my head in a good space before I show myself to you, Harry thought. "Draco," Harry said letting out a deep breath and looking into Draco's grey eyes with his green ones "when we…when we decide to," he paused and blushed slightly. _

"_To have sex," Draco completed, trying his best to suppress a sigh at Harry's inability to say the word even though in this context it was foreign to both of them. _

_Harry nodded. "I don't want to rush into it," Harry said he felt as if he were baring his soul in a sense but he felt it appropriate because that is exactly what Draco would be getting "because I want it to be special, I want it…" he hesitated and then said "I want it to be meaningful."_

_That Draco understood. _

Harry and Draco came back into the Room of Requirement trying their best to ignore the stares.

"What are you guys at now?" Harry asked Hermione quietly as he resumed his place in between Ron and Neville.

"Something you don't know about it," Hermione whispered.

"You only missed Lavender," Ron told Harry in a low voice "and she said that her great uncle on dad's side twice removed used to make illegal muggle alcohol and sell it to them."

"Then it's not really about her then is it?" Harry noted. Ron shrugged with a silent 'what do you do?' "We're going around in a circle by the way," he added "clockwise."

So if it started with Lavender and we're going clockwise it would then be Blaise, Pansy, Draco, Padma, Hermione, Ron, me, Neville, Dean and then Hannah, Harry thought to himself. Right on cue Blaise went next.

"Something you don't know about me is…" he thought around for a bit which gave everyone else a good opportunity to do their own thinking "I don't actually know who my father is. I don't even know if Zabini is my mother's maiden name or not. Both my grandparents are dead and I've never met my aunty so I really have no idea at all."

"You've never endeavoured to ascertain who you're father is? Or for that matter you're true identity in a sense?" Padma asked him intrigued.

"What?" Blaise, Pansy, Ron, Lavender, Ron, Dean, Neville and Harry asked in harmony. Hannah looked like she understood and Draco and Hermione just rolled their eyes at everyone's inability to have a wider vocabulary.

"She means have you ever tried to find out who you're father is," Hermione said slowly as if that would help him to absorb the words better "meaning that have you ever tried to discover you're true self?"

"Nah what for?" Blaise shrugged.

"I like you being all mysterious," Pansy purred. Draco made a small dry wretch gesture while they briefly kissed.

"You're up Parkinson," Draco said as he cleared his throat to get their attention.

"When I was four Draco came over to my house in the summer and we swam in my pool…without clothes on," she tried to hold back a giggle. She saw everyone's disapproving faces and said, "Oh come on, we were four. Anyway, as a punishment my father charmed my hair orange because it was Draco's least favourite colour and it stayed that way for a whole year." She finished by running a hand down a piece of her dark brown hair.

"I remember that," Draco grinned at the recollection.

Pansy laughed. "You're up Draco."

"Mr. Closed-book himself," Blaise teased.

Draco's smile slowly faded away and his face became beautiful as he thought, or at least according to Harry it did. He looked down at the floor as his mind raced away. Harry didn't know what he would say. He hoped that he would say something that not even he knew. Suddenly Harry realised that he himself, Harry, was something that no one knew about Draco. The blonde finally looked up.

"If I had more free time and no one would be with me I'd be a very different person," he said softly "I would do things."

A frown, an open mouth or wide eyes – everyone in the circle had at least one of these features included in their facial expressions. Draco seemed to realise he had been _Draco_ instead of _Malfoy_ and he quickly shut his mouth and a delicate blush spread over his cheeks.

_What would you do_? Harry yearned to ask this question. He thanked Merlin that Hermione asked just that.

"What would you do?" Hermione asked him.

"That's really not of your business is it, Granger?" Draco retorted coldly. Hermione looked stung and she blushed.

"Actually Malfoy it _is_," Ron snapped "it's part of the game."

"Actually weasel-bee it _isn't_ because I already answered the question, I just chose not to elaborate." Draco said venomously.

Harry mentally groaned, would they ever get along? The next person to share something about them was Padma. She was irritated with herself because the only thing that came to mind was something that she really didn't want to share.

She buried her grumpiness with a small huff. "Something you didn't know about me is that I've never been kissed by a boy because there are so many other things I'd rather do than spend my time gallivanting off to find an easy boyfriend." She thought for a moment and then added, "And then end up like Pansy."

"Hey!" Pansy frowned.

"I'm not interested in being…" Padma stopped talking in worry of seriously offending Pansy even though she highly disliked her.

"A slut?" Pansy challenged with narrow eyes.

"Yes," Padma said bluntly. Padma knew that she was thinking it so she just got it over with.

"I don't car–" Pansy was abruptly cut off by Dean.

"So Lavender was your first ever kiss?" He asked. After an afterthought he quickly added, "That is unless you've kissed other girls before tonight."

_Wrong sister_, Padma thought wryly. "No, I haven't." Padma shook her head. "Yes, Lavender was my first kiss," she looked over at Lavender "sorry."

Dean burst out laughing.

"How is that funny?" Lavender asked dryly.

"I'm just imagining Padma's kids fifteen years from now, '_Mummy, who was the first person you kissed?'_ and then Aunty Parvati bursts out laughing." Dean reflected with a smile.

"Hold on," Padma said to Dean "since when does Aunty Parvati know about this?" She pointed between her and Lavender.

"Either her sister tells her or her best friend does," Dean shrugged. "Or someone here will," he laughed. The Gryffindor's laughed and the Slytherin's didn't understand the humour to it.

"Hermione your next," Padma said looking to her left.

"Well," Hermione pondered "something you didn't know about me is that I'm allergic to Twisties."

"As _if_?" Dean exclaimed looking very sorry for her. "They're the best!"

"The best at making my throat swell up like a toad," Hermione replied with a shudder at the memory.

"I rarely ever had them," Harry told them remembering his youth at the Dursley's "but when I did, Merlin are they delicious."

"What the fuck is a 'Twisties'?" Pansy asked with a very confused frown.

"A _twisty_ is a muggle food. Sort of like a chip but it tastes like cheese and it's orange. It's like a line but twisted." Dean explained to the group who were all sporting awed expressions. "They're great," Dean assured them all. Ron made a mental note of this.

Next to Hermione was Ron. "When I was seven I decided to run away from home. It's pretty tough having so many siblings because you never get a lot of attention. So I packed my bags and I announced I was going to mum and dad and I left," Ron nodded very matter-of-factly.

Hermione and Harry were astounded. Neither of Ron's parents or brothers or Ginny had ever brought this up before.

"Well then what happened?" Harry asked with a shocked tone.

"Oh I didn't get past the front gate," Ron explained.

"What?" Hermione asked with a small shake of her head indicating her confusion. "Why?"

"Well I realised I was hungry," Ron shrugged "and if I left where was I going to eat?"

Harry burst out laughing, that was so typical Ron, food orientated. Hermione just shook her head in wonder at her boyfriend.

"You're an idiot," Pansy remarked.

Draco for once had no insult for Ron. For the first time he actually understood the weasel. Draco knew what it felt like except even though there was no one to draw the attention away from him he still didn't receive it. He knew how hard it was to want to escape so badly but that option is torn away from you as well because as a child you simply can't fend for yourself. Draco had known this his whole life, he knew that Ron never felt it like the way Draco felt it. In a way Draco wanted to tell Ron that he had it lucky. Maybe he would tell Harry to tell him. But then on the other hand he would be compromising his pride. _That's never worth compromising,_ he told himself.

Draco was so deep in thought that he almost missed what Harry said.

"…about me is," Harry swallowed and looked at Draco for a split second. _I'm going out with Draco Malfoy, _Harry thought. _I'm gay,_ the words bubbled on the tip of his tongue. It was so close to formation that it almost frightened him. _ I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay. _The words chanted in his head like a marching band. He couldn't escape from them or silence them. Like a hypnotherapist whispering into his ear. This was it. This was the right time, Harry could feel it. He could almost see the crossroad as if it were right in front of him. He thought of Draco and him holding hands as they sat down to breakfast at the same table in the Great Hall. Then he thought of the expression in Ron's eyes as he and Draco had kissed in front of everyone earlier on. He thought of Paris and Venice. He thought of those vile newspaper headings and articles that made him feel inferior without his permission. He knew that the only way to make this decision was to search for the answer. He looked up at Draco's face. The Slytherin was looking at him with a tight expression. Harry didn't need to use legilimens to know that Draco was thinking _pull it together_. Where was his Gryffindor courage? But would saying the words really be an act of bravery? Or would it be a robbery? Would it rob the blonde of his freedom of choice, his free will? Would it be impulsive? Would it be his downfall? So many questions that he hadn't thought about, that he hadn't talked about. Strangely enough the one thing that entered his thoughts was this: a memory. Dumbledore saying to him, _"It is choices not our actions that define us, Harry."_

What was his choice?

_I choose Draco_, he thought as if it were the simplest thing on the planet, the most natural thing ever. _I'll always choose to love Draco each and every time. I want to keep on loving him for as long as I exist. For as long as I live. And even after then. But the only way I know how to love him is by behind locked doors. I've never loved him, the notorious closed one, in the open. But he hasn't given me the key to open the door and how can I break it and risk it never being able to be repaired? But if I open it maybe we'll find something better!_

_What's my choice? _

_What do I choose?_

_The freedom to love freely. _

_Without judgement. _

_Without intrusion. _

_Free love. _

"Harry?" Ron called to him "You alright mate?"

Harry fell back into reality. "Oh yeah, uh sorry about that," he said feeling embarrassed that he had dazed off onto the yellow brick road.

"Something that you didn't know about me is that…" he took a deep breath and let all the tension out "the muggles I live with starve me when I'm there because they're afraid of my magic."

Everyone was incredibly shocked except for Ron and Hermione. Of course Draco as well who put on a good act. Draco was just relieved that Harry had pulled it together. He had noticed lately that Harry increasingly brought up the topic of making their relationship public. He wondered if Harry had noticed his own attempts to veer their conversations away from the topic when it came up, most likely. The vague memory of his telling Harry that he was _"avoiding conflict"_ came into his mind. _Fabulous, now you're a hypocrite as well_. Draco's thoughts continued to run untamed throughout Neville, Hannah and Dean's turns.

Blaise conjured up tiny shot glasses as Pansy Accio'd a bottle of Firewhiskey from her bag.

"How did you get this?" Hannah asked.

"We have our ways," Blaise gave Hannah a cunning smile as he skilfully poured a bit of Firewhiskey into each shot glass and dispersed one out to each person in the circle.

"So this is how it works," Pansy said dipping her pinky finger into her glass and then putting it in her mouth for a taste "You say something you have done but you say you haven't and whoever else has also done that drinks a shot and then gets a refill. Example," she picked up her glass "I have never skipped a class on purpose." She skulled her shot without as much as a moment of watery eyes. "So whoever here _has_ skipped a class on purpose also drinks their shot. You're glass will automatically refill via the bottle of Firewhiskey that I charmed."

Everyone except Padma, Hermione and Hannah drank. Next was Draco.

"I've never had sex in an empty potions classroom," Draco said in an unemotional tone. Harry had to stop his mouth from dropping open. Draco picked up his glass and looked around. Pansy and Blaise picked up their glasses, so did Harry. They all drank. The Firewhiskey burned Harry's throat however it was a good burn. _Oh I am going to get absolutely plastered_, Harry thought with a grimace.

"Harry!" Hermione said almost reprimanding him.

"Sorry," he mumbled quietly with an embarrassed blush. He was doing a lot of that tonight he reflected.

Padma picked up her glass looking at it with an unimpressed expression. "I have never enjoyed a Care of Magical Creatures lesson." She drank slowly with a wince. Pansy, Blaise, Draco and Dean all swallowed their shots as well. Harry wasn't too happy about that.

Hermione spoke next, "I've never broken a school rule."

"Oooh rebel Granger," Pansy snickered "cheers to that." She, followed by Draco, Harry, Ron, Neville, Dean, Blaise and Lavender drank.

"I've never snuck into the kitchen to steal food," Ron said with a smile. Harry chuckled and Hermione's disapproving glance. Only a few others drank to that. By this stage Harry hardly even noticed the burn and his head began to feel sort of light. He was still present, but he was becoming aware of the alcohol's effect.

"I've never walked around the castle after curfew," Harry said.

"'Walked around the castle'," Ron repeated whilst laughing "is that what we're calling it?"

"Gone to see Hagrid, sought after the Philosopher's stone, opened the Chamber of Secrets, gone to meet Dra–Malfoy for a midnight duel, shagged in the Room of Requirement, snuck out to the kitchens, discovered the Mirror of Erised, time travelled, transported a dragon…whatever you want to call it." Harry shrugged with a laugh.

"We got up to some right trouble didn't we?" Ron asked with a laugh.

"Still do," Hermione corrected with a shake of her head. However she too couldn't help laughing.

"Met Malfoy in a midnight duel?" Pansy asked with raised eyebrows.

"First year," Harry explained his tone now dry "the sly git set us up."

"You Gryffindors were stupid enough to fall for it," Draco retorted.

"It's Neville's turn!" Lavender said loudly to dissipate the blossoming argument.

"Oh um…" Neville thought about it and then suddenly went pale "I have never caught Professor Trelawney," he swallowed "ma…masturbating in the Divination classroom."

Everyone's eyes went wide. "_WHAT?" _they all cried in unison. Neville blushed a tomato red and buried his head in his hands.

"It was horrible!" He moaned.

"When?" Ron asked in bewilderment.

"Last year."He said wincing at the memory.

"What was she doing?" Dean asked looking at Neville in pity. Next to him lavender looked like she had just been told her whole life was a lie.

Neville re-emerged from his moping in his hands. "She doesn't just use those scent sticks for making fragrant smoke," he said grimly grimly.

"Good Godric," Harry grimaced.

"Holy Hufflepuff," Hannah gasped.

"Sweet Salzar," Blaise cringed.

"Remarkable Rowena," Padma whispered mortified.

"Oh My Merlin," Lavender moaned in revulsion.

"That's bloody wrong," Draco whined.

"Merlin's pants!" Ron yelped.

"Dear God," Hermione shuddered.

"Fucking hell!" Pansy's face screwed up in pure disgust.

"How're we supposed to light those things in Divination again?" Ron asked with a horrified expression.

All of them made sounds of repulsion.

"Gosh Neville," Hannah said with anhorror-struck horror-struck aghast look "you must have been shocked."

"It was the worst thing I've ever seen in my life," he groaned shaking his head and then he emptied his glass.

Dean, still looking traumatised, picked up his glass. "I have never walked in on my best friend having sex," Dean said.

"How many times do I have to drink?" Blaise asked with a teasing tone. Draco gave him a dark look.

"Just shut up and drink," Draco warned him.

"Who was Malfoy with?" Dean asked Blaise.

"This little minx over here," Blaise nudged Pansy. "Who knows how many times I caught them. Oh, and Pansy was with Nott a few times too."

"Zabini," Draco said raising his eyebrow at Blaise "do you know how many times I've walked in on you and Pansy screwing?"

"Four?"

"_Eleven,_" Draco said slowly annunciating the word.

"Damn," Dean laughed.

"What about you Thomas?" Blaise asked.

"Seamus," Dean's face showed that he wasn't happy about it either "him and Lavender."

"Thanks Dean," Lavender nodded with narrow eyes.

"And you, Potter?" Blaise asked Harry.

"I don't really want to go there," Harry said with a tight smile. He turned to look at Ron and Hermione who were both red but sporting apologetic looks. "Once was enough let alone twice," he muttered to himself.

"They did it on your bed right?" Pansy asked.

"How did you know that?" Harry asked her with a frown.

"You mentioned it second party," Pansy shrugged.

"Oh," Harry replied he indistinctly remembered something like that.

"Does catching your best friend masturbating count?" Ron asked Dean.

"'Course it does," Dean laughed.

"What?" Harry exclaimed looking at Ron with wide eyes.

"Sorry, Harry." Ron and Hermione both said.

"Wait _what_?" Harry looked at Hermione with even wider eyes. "You _too_?" He asked Hermione horrified. She nodded meekly. "That's just what I need," he groaned. "When?" He asked them suspiciously.

"Um…" they looked at him nervously "you don't need to know." Ron assured him.

Draco burst out laughing. So his boyfriend had been caught in the act.

"Ten Galleons says they were going at it in their dorm with protective enchantments and Potter happened to come in and do himself because he thought he was alone," Draco guessed with an amused smile.

Hermione's face fell.

"Bang on," Blaise laughed. He gave Draco a high-five, "Smooth."

Harry buried his head in his hands and muttered something unintelligible.

After a few more revelations and a hell of a lot of drinking it was Lavender's turn. "I have never liked someone that I was worried everyone would disapprove of." Without waiting for a response she drowned her shot glass. Draco was surprised Lavender was even cable of something so emotionally deep.

To everyone's surprise Hermione picked up her glass. Harry picked up his and so did Draco. The two boys did this with a certain caution but still a confidence that they would remain a secret. They didn't think that it was probably due to the effects of the Firewhiskey.

"Who was it?" Ron asked Hermione.

"Victor Krum was one," Hermione admitted.

"'Was _one_'?" Ron repeated sceptically "And the others?"

"That's going with me to the grave," Hermione told him shaking her head "I haven't like him for _years_ though." She assured him with a smile and small peck on the lips. She didn't look like she was lying, Harry knew she was extremely happy with Ron.

"And you Draco?" Pansy asked with a hopeful tone.

"Once again," Draco smile too sweetly "nice try."

"Screw you," Pansy grumbled.

"You have," Blaise reminded her. She fixed him with a look.

"What about you Harry?" Dean asked him.

"I can't say," Harry shrugged unfortunately "they'd hex me into the next century."

Draco's lips twitched. As Blaise took his turn Harry noticed Padma looking back and forth between Hermione and Draco. The Ravenclaw never misses a detail does she? Harry asked himself this as he realised Hermione was staring at Draco in the way that…he now looked at Cho…

_Oh you've got to be bloody kidding me,_ Harry groaned internally. _All I need now is for Ron to like him two and we might as well be the three musketeers. _Harry made a mental note to ask her about when she liked Draco. Although he knew that Hermione didn't like Draco anymore he still couldn't help feeling possessive. _Maybe when I tell her she'll be able to understand better,_ that thought popped into his mind without warning. He drank another shot of Firewhiskey.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

It was late; everyone had fallen asleep on a heap of purple sleeping bags. The empty bottles of Firewhiskey were evidence that the students were under the surface of consciousness, they also held the promise that they wouldn't float to the surface anytime before morning. This certainty however did not stop the taken precautions. The Slytherin and the Gryffindor was still shielded and enclosed by a range of protective enchantments that made them essentially absent from the room.

They sat against the wall next to the fireplace, snogging.

Draco pulled away. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Draco leaned back in and continued kissing Harry. However he still felt Harry's lack of hunger. Despite this he still kissed him, any time they had together he never wasted. This time Harry pulled away.

"There _is_ something wrong," he admitted. Draco sighed; he had just asked Harry that question ten seconds ago how hard was it to just spit it out? But to keep the peace he held his tongue. "Over the past couple of weeks I've just been thinking about some stuff," he swallowed looking at Draco in a nervous sort of way.

"Are you going to tell me what 'stuff' you've been thinking about or am I supposed to guess?" Draco asked.

"I'm sorry it's just…" Harry sighed "ever since Paris I've–"

"Paris?" Draco asked with wide eyes. "Why haven't you said anything?"

"–been chewing over it." He looked at Draco. "Would you let me finish?"

"Just keep talking," Draco said impatiently. He wanted Harry to get to the point.

Harry resumed his nervous look. "It's been on my mind since the first night in Paris and all this stuff with Ginny I thought that maybe…not right now or this week but maybe soon, sometime close to now it might be right to…I don't know, it's just what I've been thinking…it's sounding like a good idea but I wanted to know what you thought and…" Draco's eyebrows travelled further and further up his forehead as Harry babbled.

"Harry!" Draco cut in, Harry clamped his mouth shut and looked at him "slow down." Draco ordered him. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Harry nodded somewhat apologetically. He puffed out a big breath and just said it. "I've been really considering coming out soon," Harry confessed "I feel like I'm ready." He waited for a response from Draco.

"Oh," was all the blonde said quietly.

"The thing is I'm not going to do it alone," Harry told him sincerely "I don't want to come out with_ me_, I want to come out with _us_."Draco's lips were pursed and he looked uncomfortable. "Did you think that it'd always be like this?" Harry asked gently. Draco had had years of practice of keeping his mouth shut when all he wanted to do was scream. He didn't understand why he felt the need to contain himself, it was Harry after all, maybe it was because he felt so alien right now. "I mean, I _do _want to get married one day." He said slowly. He looked carefully at Draco unsure about the response he would get. Draco just blinked at him in surprise. "And I do want a family," he admitted with a quiet smile. "With more than one child," he added with an afterthought, his tone mildly teasing. "But we can't have that life if we don't live out in the open," Harry told him "can you honestly tell me you'd be happy like that?"

"Yes I would be happy if that's what we chose," Draco nodded "I'd be happy with just us two. Or is that not enough for you?"

"I never said that and you know it," Harry told him sternly "don't put words in my mouth." He took in a deep breath to keep his temper under the surface and resumed their conversation. "You can really see us living that life Draco? I can't. That's not living, being locked away, I would know. We would oppress ourselves." He couldn't understand how or why Draco would want that.

"Look I'm not saying forever," Draco knew it was stupid and irrational though he wasn't going to admit it "I'm just saying wait until after the war." He reasoned.

"What difference will it make?" Harry asked starting to become frustrated.

"Every difference!" Draco exclaimed. He pulled up his left sleeve revealing his dark mark, "I know it doesn't make a difference to you but it's still there and I've still got my cards to play." Draco shook his head. "You say you've thought about it, have you thought about what happens to me?"

"Of course I have!" Harry said hotly feeling a bit offended.

"Obviously not," Draco fired back "this isn't just about Hogwarts, it's bigger than that. It's the _whole Wizarding world_, Harry. As in my father, as in my family, as in the Death Eaters, as in the Dark Lord himself." Draco was looking at Harry with an expression that demanded why he hadn't thought of this before. "You don't understand how quickly my head could be on a frikin silver platter."

"You know I have the ability to protect you, you know the Order can." Harry told him.

"I don't need to be protected," Draco said his grey eyes frosting over.

"Clearly," Harry snapped sarcastically. "You just can't swallow it can you?" Harry said referring to Draco's pride with a shake of his head.

In a normal, happy situation Draco would have responded with 'That's not what you said last night,' however he was just too angry at the moment. "Oh and you can?" he said with a biting tone.

"When it matters _yes_," Harry said not backing down.

"Why can't you just wait until the war is over?" Draco demanded "Once _he's_ gone then we have nothing stopping us."

"And what happens if Voldemort doesn't go? What if _I'm _the one that goes?" Harry confronted. "What then huh?"

Draco felt like Harry had slapped him.

"So I die and no one knew about us," Harry continued painting the picture "I'm not going to let you suffer in silence. You keep telling yourself that you can take it all in, bottle it all up and you won't crack. Draco you won't crack, you'll _shatter_. And I _won't be able to save you_. You'll either cascade into depression or," Harry squeezed his eyes shut for a moment as he contemplated the devastating thought "you'll join me. And I. Can't. Have. That."

Draco felt white hot anger surge through him. "I don't care how bad the argument we're having is, I don't care how angry or aggressive or hurtful we get and I don't care what we're fighting about, _never_," he breathed "_ever…ever, _talk about you dying." His tone was dangerous his voice was choked off by the severity of his words. The storm in his eyes was deadly and incredibly capable of destroying the forest in Harry's eyes.

This seemed to calm Harry back to empathy. He placed a gentle hand over Draco's. "Okay," he agreed however he sighed "but Dray it could happen." Harry sighed and then told Draco honestly, "It's better to be slapped by the truth then kissed with a lie."

The thing that made Draco feel the saddest was how Harry had phrased the sentence. It did hurt, even though in the long run it might have been better. It was hard to talk about the hard stuff, but their relationship would never be an easy one.

Draco didn't let himself cry, now wasn't the time to be weak. "I would never let that happen to you," Draco vowed.

"I know," Harry said softly "but you can't save me from everything, Draco."

"Neither can you," Draco said evenly. Harry's patience was like a dam in the middle of the sweltering outback, it was quickly evaporating.

"But what if we just–"

"Oh don't bullshit me Harry," Draco cut across him looking exceedingly aggravated and intolerant "I know what you're going to say '_if we just told our friends_' or '_no one outside of Hogwarts will find out'_ we both know that that is complete and utter shit. People talk, the Daily Prophet makes a headline and then what happens? We get fucked up the arse that's what. I'm not interested."

"You're not interested?" Harry scoffed. "Oh that's just really fucking brilliant."

"You're talking about this like nothing could go wrong!" Draco yelled throwing his hands up. "What happens when Weasley doesn't want to talk to you or even go near you? What happens when the people in your dorm don't want to sleep in the same room with you? What happens if this all goes the wrong way? What happens when everything you've worked for falls from underneath you? Or the control that you barely maintain dissolves before your eyes and you don't know what the fuck you're going to do next? What happens when this is the thing that finally tips the iceberg over and everything that's going on for you, all the things that you have to deal with that are scaring you senseless get thrown at you like darts at a target board? Tell me what the hell you do then?" _What happens when they've asked me to fundamentally kill you and they find out I'm in love with you? What the fuck then?_ Draco screamed in his head…and screamed with his eyes. Harry didn't miss the glint in them.

When Harry realised that Draco was talking about himself he felt truly scared. His mouth set into a hardline and he watched Draco as if he were a time bomb ticking away before he exploded. "What are you not telling me, Draco?" He said looking unflinchingly into his eyes.

"You didn't answer my question," Draco told him.

"And you're avoiding mine," Harry replied composedly. It was as if someone flicked on a switch. "This has to do with the start of the year doesn't it?" he realised.

"What?" Draco asked. He was afraid that Harry would make that connection.

"You know what I'm talking about. You told me you were trying to protect me from you, from what you are. Whatever is going on it's scaring you shitless. So what aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing is wrong!" Draco yelled.

"Why do you do this to yourself?" Harry shouted. "Why do you insist on keeping everything in and not talking to anyone? It's not good for you Draco! You need to let me in or let someone in because you can't keep doing this to yourself, it's not good for you! What part of that don't you understand?" Harry was desperate for Draco to understand that. He wasn't sure if screaming at him would work but it was worth a try.

Draco thought of Astoria, she had told him that as well. "Why does everyone keep telling me that?" Draco shouted. "What doesn't anyone understand? I cope just fine!"

"Who is 'everyone'?" Harry asked with frustration. Why didn't he know about this?

"Bloody hell! Do you always disregard the lines I draw?" Draco demanded angrily. "I am entitled to have some privacy and you never seem to respect that!"

"Bullshit I don't respect that; I worship that fucking ground you walk on. The only times I _express my concern_ is when I'm worried about how the things you keep locked up inside you threaten to hurt you." Harry differentiated for him in a loud voice.

"I don't need you to _express concern_," Draco said harshly "when I want your opinion I'll ask for it. Like now, you still haven't answered my question from before which you so conveniently avoided yourself."

"Number one," Harry said heatedly giving Draco an attitude lined tone "don't _dictate _me. I couldn't give a Hippogriff's arse whether you want my opinion or not because I'll give it to you anyway. That's my job. Who else is going to be honest with you? Number two, I would have gladly answered your question before but I decided to put your needs before mine by getting the bottom of your problem which is worse than the one I'm having. Unfortunately you've been digging yourself a grave that's so fucking deep that even with a lifetime supply of gillyweed I still wouldn't be able to get to the bottom of that abyss. You want an answer? How about this: why are you such a pessimist?" Harry asked him out right. Could he not thinking of just _one_ positive outcome this choice could have? His negativity was honestly covering him with darkness that was what it felt like.

"Because I'm looking at the things that you're missing!" Draco shouted.

"No, you're looking at the things that are going to make you unhappy! Why don't you allow yourself to have happiness?" Harry hurled at him. "Draco," Harry paused so that he could bring his voice back down to a normal conversational volume "tell me why it is that you're so afraid to do this with me?" Draco opened his mouth but Harry cut him off. "No," Harry stopped him before he could say anything "I want to hear why _you're_ afraid. Not your family, not the Death eaters, not Voldemort, not the war. You."

_Me?_ Draco thought. _Because it's hard. I'm afraid to work through it. I don't want to deal with it. Small fights or a few people I can deal with. But not that many. And because…I don't want to do it this time. For once I don't want to do it. I don't want to have to put on a brave face or an uncaring smile like none of it affects me or every word, every whisper, every glance doesn't tear into me. I don't want to have to pretend for this. _

"Because they'll think ugly," Draco whispered. A tear Draco didn't want Harry to see slid down his pale face.

"But we know we're beautiful," Harry murmured in a caressing voice.

Draco wiped his check and stood up.

"I'm not ready for this," he said solemnly looking down at Harry "and until you can grasp that concept, but _understand_ it…" Draco gave a small shrug not really knowing how to end it.

He left Harry behind, invisible, in their bubble of protective enchantments as he walked across the room and opened the door, not looking behind him, he left.

Harry sat there thinking about how such a fun night had turned into something so horrible. He wondered how so many different arguments had branched out from the one matter. He thought about all the questions that had been left unanswered and how many there were still to ask…

**A/N: Special mentions to Krystian.K who **Haggravated exceedingly indistinctly shocked r**helped me plan out my first ever proper attempt at writing straight sex. Also thanks for BETA-ering for me even though my chapters are like novels **

**Also, I read this literally spectactular story - **.net/s/7272696/1/Two **-** **ADDICTIVE PEOPLE!**

**Please review! **

Haggravated exceedingly indistinctly shocked r


	12. Depth, Insight and Understanding

**Just wanted to let you know I'm going back to school soon so I don't know yet how that will affect Brave Ambition. But I am very organized (I colour coded my folders to my highlighters to my subjects like the nerd that I am) so I should be fine, just a heads up. And OMG I saw a tshirt in ICE that said "There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how."…. Yeah, I bought it straight away :D**

**CHAPTER 12 – Depth, Insight and Understanding**

"_Nothing is wrong, I cope fine…I'm looking at the things that you're missing…They'll think we're ugly…I'm not ready for this and until you can grasp that concept but understand it…"_ Harry pushed his books away in frustration. He let out a sharp breath and looked up at the ceiling.

"Harry, what's wrong?" Hermione frowned, looking up from her charms homework.

"I can't concentrate," Harry was angry with himself; the argument was taking over his head and more importantly that he couldn't work it out. He put his elbows on the desk and placed his head in his hands. "I've just got a lot on my mind."

The library would close in about an hour and Harry wasn't even near finished. He knew that his work wouldn't be completed until he solved this problem and only Merlin knew how long that would take.

"_What happens when Weasley doesn't want to talk to you or even go near you…What happens when the people in your dorm don't want to sleep in the same room with you…What happens if this all goes the wrong way…_" Harry remerged from his hands.

"Do you feel unwell?" Hermione asked him.

Harry shook his head. _Draco and I are having an argument, _that was what we could have said to her if they were to come out. "We're having an argument at the moment," Harry confessed "a pretty big one. I can't focus on my work at the moment because it's all I'm thinking about."

Hermione put down her quill, put a bookmark in between a page and shut her book, giving Harry her full attention. "Is there anything I can do to help?" Hermione asked him looking genuinely concerned.

"I wish there was," Harry sighed "but it's just so complicated." It was just so frustrating. "We're facing a…decision…and we can't agree on the same thing." Harry knew the words sounded stupid as soon as they left his mouth.

Hermione nodded seriously. "You've both come to a cross road and you want to take separate paths?" She summarised. Harry never knew how Hermione possessed the ability to take a concept and word it so smartly.

"Pretty much," he shrugged. "She's just," Harry shook his head in defeat. Harry knew that Hermione never missed a thing and he had decided that it was too dangerous for him to be referring to Draco as 'they', so Harry had just given up and begun using 'she' instead. Before he could stop himself he seemed to gush everything out. "I know that relationships are hard work but we're just…harder. We put in a lot of effort to really make it work. I guess that's one of the things that I love about her; she makes me work for her. Me being Harry Potter doesn't faze her nor does is an efficient excuse. Hermione you have no idea, it's like we were born to clash."

Hermione gave Harry a sceptical look, "Harry, how long have you been best friends with Ron?"

"Point taken," Harry approved with a hint of amusement "I suppose you understand that, but something you definitely wouldn't is that it's seriously dangerous for us to be together. We take so many risks." Harry swallowed and proceeded carefully. "The thing is I'm ready to take another risk. There are bad things that might come out of it but there will be good things as well. She's really afraid about the bad things and that seems to be blocking her from thinking about the good outcomes. I don't want to lose her to this, I don't want to lose both of us to this…but I'm not convinced enough to _not_ take the risk." He shrugged apologetically at Hermione, "I'm sorry I'm being all confusing."

"Thoughts aren't always clear Harry, they can be quite perplexing, that is until you say them out aloud and make sense of them." Hermione contemplated truthfully. She gave Harry a reassuring smile. "It sounds like you're very conflicted about how to progress with this. You have one voice telling you that you should aim for what you want and then hopefully she won't be hurt or feel angry towards you because she'll be able to enjoy the positive outcomes. However on the other hand you know that making that decision would be a violation of the trust and safety that you two share, and you're not willing to risk that because it might mean that things end between you and it's just too special for that to happen. Does that sound about right?"

Harry stared, quite literally flabbergasted and taken aback at Hermione's summing up. "Well yeah, that's…that's actually perfect. You know, you're really brilliant Hermione."

Hermione blushed a little and tried her best to look humble. "You're my best friend Harry," she told him kindly "I can read you like an open book."

"I hope not," Harry muttered making Hermione chuckle.

"You said that you were not convinced enough to not take the risk?" Harry nodded and Hermione continued "maybe she needs to give you more of a reason?"

"Shouldn't her being so unbelievably unbelievingly afraid be enough of a reason?" Harry asked quietly his mind branching off into thought.

Hermione smiled, her eyes sparkling. "You tell me."

Harry nodded hastily. He gathered up all of his books, throwing them in his bag. "Thank you Hermione," he gave her a swift hug and walked out of the library.

"Harry where are you going?" She called out.

"To think!"

"But Harry," she exclaimed "your homework!"

"This is more important!" He yelled behind him.

"Now I say!" Madam Pince exclaimed furiously. "What is all this unnecessary racket in the library?"

Hermione grimaced. _Wonderful,_ she thought grimly as Madam Pince glared at her through her thick spectacles.

Harry raced over to the place where he was best at thinking – the lake.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"Now the most important things to remember is that when saying the incantation your thoughts should be solely focused on…" McGonagall's voice spoke on as she demonstrated how to transfigure an object that opposes the first law of Herman. Hermione was furiously scrawling notes on her parchment. Ron seemed to have found something interesting on his nose, Neville looked very confused, Seamus appeared to have given up on transfiguration a long time ago, Parvati was gazing off into the distance and Lavender was twirling a curl around her finger. Harry couldn't focus on the lesson. Not with Draco sitting two rows in front of him.

Harry begun tapping his foot in frustration, he was trying to think of a time where he could catch Draco alone to talk to him but there just didn't seem to be a free opportunity.

Draco sighed and rolled his eyes. Harry could tell his was completely pissed off. Draco seemed to be the bridge between Pansy and Blaise's note passing. Harry watched as Pansy scribbled something on a piece of parchment and snuck it to Draco who passed it to Blaise. Hermione noticed too. _That's completely Slytherin like – stupid. They'll get caught_, she thought to herself as she continued jotting down vital notes.

"What must be kept in mind when performing this particular transfiguration is that my class does not tolerate note passing Miss. Parkinson, Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Zabini," McGonagall gave the three Slytherin's a stern look. Hermione frowned at the disruption. Pansy promptly jumped at the mention of her name. Draco's mouth turned down in a hard line, clearly showing his displeasure at being blamed for something he really wasn't part of. Blaise looked worried that he has been caught.

"Perhaps the note should be read out to the class?" She asked the three Slytherin's rather threateningly, Harry thought. Pansy and Blaise visibly paled. Draco looked like it was a splendid idea. McGonagall raised her thin eyebrows, "Well?"

"I honestly believe the class wouldn't like to hear the silly little things we were writing Professor," Pansy said sounding very desperate, she gave McGonagall a sweet smile.

"Oh I think quite the contrary Miss. Parkinson," McGonagall disagreed. She went forward to reach the note. Pansy however had other intentions. She slammed her hand down on the piece of parchment which was in front of her on her desk.

"We'll read it out professor," Pansy insisted. Hermione had to cover her mouth to stop her snort of laughter. _Does she honestly think McGonagall is that thick? She only wants to read it out so she can lie about what she wrote_, Hermione thought.

McGonagall seemed to be thinking along the same lines. "Miss. Parkinson, do you know how long I have been teaching for?"

Seamus gave an involuntary snicker, which caused Dean to laugh along quietly as well.

"Longer than I would care to admit, Miss. Parkinson." She told Pansy. "I am well aware of all the nooks and crannies of young trouble makers such as yourself."

Pansy did not look too pleased at being referred to as a trouble maker. McGonagall waved her wand aiming for the piece of parchment. After that there wasn't much Pansy or Blaise could do. The note levitated towards the front of the classroom and seemed to look as if it were shimmering. Suddenly Pansy's voice seemed to come from the parchment. Pansy's eyes widened in horror as she realised what was about to happen. Blaise's expression mirrored Pansy's while a grin spread across Draco's face.

'I'm so fucking bored,' the note groaned in Pansy's voice.

'You know,' Blaise's voice replied from the note 'if I were fucking you, you wouldn't be bored.'

'Tonight?' Pansy's voice asked 'Your dorm?'

'What about Draco and Nott?'

'Kick them out.'

'Okay…Merlin, McGonagall is draining me.'

'If I were allowed to,' Pansy's voice purred 'I'd drain you right now of everything you've got.'

The class broke out in giggles. Pansy buried her bright red face in her hands. Draco looked as if the holidays had come early. McGonagall did not look at all pleased with the content of this note.

'Pans,' Blaise's voice whined 'I'm trying to not get hard here…but you're just so bloody sexy.'

'You know what would be bloody sexy? If one day we had group sex. I would _love_ to see you make out with Draco.'

The whole glass burst out laughing. Draco turned Gryffindor red, blushing. "Pansy!" Draco hissed.

"Professor," Pansy pleased "can you please make it stop?"

"I'm afraid the only way to stop is to let it run its course, Miss. Parkinson." McGonagall said gravely. Hermione gave a small gasp as she full well knew that that was not the case at all.

The note continued its scripted conversation. 'Are you serious?' Blaise's voice asked disbelievingly.

'Oh come on!' Pansy's voice reasoned. 'Remember at the last game, spin the bottle? When it landed on Potter and Draco?'

_Oh fuck_, Harry thought. Draco was thinking along the same lines except with a fair few more profanities.

'And then when I cast Ampsurphia on them? Now, Potter's no bad looking but Draco's just fucking steamy…watching them make out was the hottest thing I have ever seen. _You_ making out with Draco? Jizz. In. My. Pants.'

McGonagall's eyes were not the only ones that were wide. Everyone gasped and looked between Harry and Draco and Pansy and Blaise. Draco closed his eyes in utter humiliation. Blaise looked as if he were praying for an invisibility cloak.

'Does that mean we're only kicking Nott out tonight?' Blaise's voice teased.

Nott quite frankly looked like he was more than happy not to be in his dorm later on. Draco looked over at Blaise and gave him an '_are you guys fucking normal?'_ look.

'Hey, isn't Snape coming in to do dormitory inspections tonight?' Blaise's voice asked sounding crestfallen.

'Oh well, you know me…I'm an exhibitionist,' Pansy's voice said uncaringly 'anyways, he looks like he could enjoy a good show.'

Every student except for Pansy and Blaise burst out in hysterical laughter. Harry was holding onto his sides and had to take his glasses of because he was laughing so hard. Even Draco found this hilarious.

'Pansy!' Blaise's voice said sounding shocked.

'I'm kidding,' Pansy's voice reassured 'that's completely pervish…he's such a pedo.'

"How long does this note go for?" Harry whispered to Ron.

"I think it's doubled sided mate," Ron replied with a joyous smile.

Harry's question meant that he had missed out on some of the note. Currently, Blaise's voice was saying, 'But McGonagall and Dumbledore are so shagging in the Transfiguration classrooms after hours.'

McGonagall gasped at this and looked at Blaise furiously.

'Which seat do you think they do it on?' Pansy's voice asked.

'It would be funny if it were Granger's,' Blaise's voice chuckled 'it'd be about the only action she'd get.'

Hermione's mouth dropped open as her cheeks blushed a brilliant red. Her eyes widened in terror as Pansy replied to this.

'Isn't she shagging Weasley? At the games Potter said that he's walked in on them going at it like Poxies twice.'

Ron and Hermione looked like they would have liked to be anywhere in the world but in McGonagall's classroom right now.

'I'd like to go at you right now.'

'Do you know what I'd like to do?'

'What?'

'Stuff my hand down your robes and wrap my hand around your big, long, hard, delicious, hot c–"

Pansy's was saved from her sentence as the note abruptly stopped talking and floated to the ground where McGonagall Accio'd it into her hand.

There was a silence. The students slapped a hand to their mouths to muffle the sound of their uncontrollable laughter. However the look on McGonagall's face prevented them from laughing freely.

The bell rung on cue. "Miss. Parkinson and Mr. Zabini is you both could please stay behind," she asked shortly. "Mr. Malfoy I apologise for my assumption of your involvement of this earlier," she said to Draco before turning her head slowly and adding "and Miss. Granger and Mr. Weasley if you could please use a simple locking or take your…activities to perhaps the Room of Requirement for Mr. Potter's sake. Thank you, you may all leave now."

The entire class clamped their mouths shut and pursed their lips tightly together to prevent their laughter getting the better of them.

"Let's never talk about this class ever again," Ron moaned.

"Agreed," Harry and Hermione both nodded hastily. Harry walked behind Ron and Hermione purposefully as to bump into Draco. The Slytherin had a large smirk on his face as he looked over his shoulder at his two best friends. He caught Harry's eye as he turned back to the front of the room and his grin immediately vanished and was replaced by an emotionless expression.

"You know Pansy really shouldn't have written all those inappropriate and private things down on a note that was right under McGonagall's nose," Hermione said suddenly. It was apparent after a few moments that this was directed at Draco.

"Well it's not as if she knew she was going to be caught Granger," Draco sneered at her.

"Yes, from all her Slytherin arrogance I could tell. It was incredibly stupid. How are you defending her when she wrote all those things about you and Harry? And you and Blaise?"

"How I feel towards my friends is really none of anyone's business, especially that of a filthy Mudblood." Draco spat.

"Ron stop!" Hermione said firmly, clutching Ron's hand, preventing him from lashing out.

Harry looked at Draco squarely in the eye. When he and Draco had begun seeing each other Harry made Draco agree not to call Hermione a Mudblood again. Harry felt truly disappointed that Draco had violated that promise, especially because it was so important to him.

"I thought I asked you before to never call her that again," Harry said hotly looking at Draco angrily. Harry had been ready to apologise to Draco, to make things better. However just because they were having an argument didn't give Draco the right to call Hermione that. Harry just shook his head in disappointment, "You know what? Have fun sucking off Zabini tonight." Harry didn't give it a second thought; he turned around and walked off. Ron and Hermione followed him.

Draco felt like Harry had stung him. He truly felt hurt by his comment. He stormed off towards Slytherin, feeling dark. He didn't know how to get rid of his feelings. He could feel them brewing inside of him. He stopped in his path and decided to go to a place where he felt more in control. He ran his hands over the cool rough bricks of the hallway just outside the Prefect's bathroom. As Draco went inside he really should have known that Harry wasn't the type to just walk away. No, Harry intended on working things out with Draco. Harry had followed behind Draco and was now entering the bathroom.

Draco pressed his back up against the stone wall and let out a big breath. Suddenly he heard footsteps. He drew his wand. "_Stupefy!_" he shouted.

Harry deflected the spell without hesitation. "Are you done trying to hex me?"

"What the hell are you doing here?" Draco spat.

"How about, what the hell is going on with you today?" Harry retorted angrily.

"Me?" Draco hissed. "How about I tell you to go and suck off Weasley and let's see how you feel!"

"I asked you never to call Hermione a Mudblood again and you did," Harry said accusingly "just because you're angry at me doesn't make that okay."

Draco suddenly leaned forward and kissing Harry roughly. Harry pushed Draco off.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Harry exclaimed a mere octave below shouting.

"Ever had angry sex?" Draco asked looking pissed off "oh it's delightful, really something."

"Do I _look_ like I'm in the mood for sex? Happy, sad, angry or otherwise?" Harry demanded.

"You look angry," Draco counted "do you know how fucking hot you look when you're angry?"

Harry looked up at the ceiling like it held all the answers. "I thought you were furious with me?" Harry exclaimed.

"I am furious with you!" Draco yelled. "I'm yours! So fight for me! Don't tell me to go and suck a dick that isn't yours!" Draco pulled Harry towards him and captured his lips in a hungry kiss. Harry felt so good to be back against Draco's lips. The Slytherin was making him lose his track of thoughts and Harry had to remind himself why he was here in the first place. He pushed Draco off of him again.

"Merlin!" Harry growled in frustration. "I was going to fucking apologise to you to prat!" He shouted. "I was going to come and work it out with you! I was supposed to–" Draco kissed him again "stop it!" Harry shoved the blonde off him. "You're pissing me off!"

"Good!" Draco shouted equally as loud. "I _want_ you to be pissed off at me. I want you to _feel_ something towards me like that instead of constantly trying to apologise and smooth things out. If you haven't gotten it through your Gryffindor brain yet, we were born to argue with and annoy the fuck out of each other. I _like_ when we fight. Because it reminds me that this is _real_. So fight back." He pressed his lips against the resistant Gryffindor's, biting the skin.

"What the hell is going on with you?" Harry yelled slapping Draco's hand that was on his hip. "Where in Merlin's book has this come from?"

"Just let it go!" Draco shouted at Harry. "Let the control go, give it to me!"

"Are you on your fucking period?" Harry cried throwing his hands in the air.

"Give yourself up to me," Draco grabbed Harry's hand tightly. Harry tried to pull it away put Draco wouldn't budge. Draco pulled Harry closer.

"This is about _dominance_?" Harry exclaimed in disbelief.

"No," Draco planted a hard kiss on Harry's lips "this is about letting _me_ take care of _you_ because right now, you need to let someone else take charge instead of trying to manage every detailed aspect of your life."

"You filthy hypocrite," Any control Harry had melted away there and then. Harry suddenly relaxed in Draco's arms and the boys met each other in a furious kiss.

"Merlin," Draco exclaimed "you spend a week and a half without me and you fuck over like spiders near a basilisk."

"Fuck I hate you," Harry said breathlessly as he pulled of Draco's robes.

"Good," Draco panted "because I am still dangerously infuriated by you. Harry?" Draco's hands fumbled at Harry's belt. He finally unfastened it and pulled down Harry's trousers to his ankles where Harry kicked them off.

"What?"

"I meant it. Let it go and give it to me."

Harry ripped off Draco's shirt so that both boys were in just their underwear. "You said you wanted me to fight? Well I'm not going down without one." Harry pushed Draco against the stone wall kissing and biting down his jaw. Draco seized the Gryffindor's face and they kissed each other with short and hard kisses. Draco's fingernails cut into Harry's back as he gripped him tightly. Harry hissed at the stinging sensation. Harry moaned and wrapped his arms around Draco's neck pressing them close together and igniting their first real kiss that day. It was long and heated. But their tongues fought when their bodies didn't. They clashed inside their mouths, rubbing against each other eagerly.

Draco pushed Harry onto the floor impatiently. They landed on the stone quite hard.

"Godric," Harry complained "that hurt."

"Suck it up," Draco told him.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" Harry grunted.

Draco straddled Harry on the floor. Harry propped himself up on the hands and pulled his knees up so that Draco could lean back against his thighs. Draco didn't waist anytime running his hands through Harry's raven hair and pulling him closer so that he could take full advantage of those lips. Draco moaned through their kisses. Harry bit down on Draco's lip and licked over it. The Slytherin pushed him back down on the floor roughly. He jumped at the opportunity and brought his mouth down to Harry's neck, kissing and sucking as he went down. Harry could feel what Draco was doing. Draco moved his hand down to Harry's nipple and pinched it hard.

Harry cried out loud. He grunted with exertion as he rolled Draco off him and straddled the blonde. Draco huffed in annoyance that he was now on the bottom. Harry was on his knees with Draco's neck underneath between his legs. Draco straight away brought his chin to Harry's soft cock, jutting it with his nose as well making Harry's hard. Draco skilfully slid under from Harry, pulled him backwards onto the floor and swung his leg over him so that he was on top again. He pinned Harry's hands to the ground and sat, pressing his own cock against Harry's hard one.

"Git," Harry glowered.

"Are you ready to let it go yet?"

"Go fuck yourself," Harry poked his tongue out. Draco leaned forward and captured it efficiently snogging his restrained boyfriend. Draco reached down and peeled of Harry's underwear. His erect cock stood up straight, begging for attention. Draco slowly licked around the head.

Harry screwed his eyes shut. Draco swiftly wrapped his whole mouth around the Gryffindor's length.

"_Shit!_" Harry moaned dragging out the word and making the most beautiful and erotic sound with it.

"How about now?" Draco had removed his mouth leaving Harry cold and needy. A sound got caught up in Harry's throat.

"Say it," Draco whispered.

"No!" Harry cried out stubbornly, resiting.

Draco's hand was instantly on Harry's aching cock, working it with his hand. Harry's hands were still pinned to the ground even without Draco holding them there, it were as if he was gripping the stone tiles for support.

"Yes, yes, yes!" Each of Harry's cries progressively became louder and louder. Just as Harry was about to cum Draco let go.

Harry screamed in frustration. Draco pinned Harry's hands to the floor again so as to make sure he wouldn't use his hands for any personal gain. Draco leaned forward a little more and whispered in Harry's ear.

"You want to cum? You can. All you have to do is give your control over to me. Just let it go."

Harry swallowed hard. He shook his head fiercely.

"I will make you beg for it," Draco warned him "take it now while you still have your dignity." He gave Harry a wicked smile. Harry glared harshly at the Slytherin.

Draco sat back down on Harry's thigh and leaned over his cock. Harry watched as a string of saliva left Draco's mouth and trickled onto his cock. He felt it as it slid down his shaft. Harry moaned with desire, with longing, with craving, with want. Draco ran his thumb over the head before encasing Harry's cock with his hot mouth again.

"Oh that feels so good," Harry gasped his fingers curling into fists. He arched his back. "Oh Dr-Draco, oh Merlin don't stop." Harry was so lost within himself. He could feel the heat building up in him. He could see the wave that would crash over him build. He could feel it. He could almost touch it. He felt the surge begin. He was almost there, just a bit further. _Yes, yes, yes_, Harry chanted in his head, _yeah ye_– nothing. Draco's mouth released him with a pop. It was _torture_.

"Say it," Draco breathed.

Harry wanted it so bad. He wanted his release. He wanted to climax. He could picture it, cumming all over Draco's smooth pale chest. It made him moan just thinking about it. All he could think about was the heat that would blind him and take over him, the wave he would ride. The absolute _ecstasy_…

But he couldn't give in. He had to fight. He couldn't let go. He had to win. He had to beat the Slytherin at his own game.

Although it nearly killed him, Harry growled, "No."

"Fine," Draco smiled making Harry fearful "but just remember I gave you the choice."

Draco hopped off Harry and pulled off his own underwear throwing them wherever they landed. Harry's eyes caressed Draco's cock that stood erect before him.

"Don't you dare touch yourself," Draco warned him. Harry moaned as Draco's hand moved up to his own erection. He stroked his hardness on his knees in front of Harry. He knew that it was driving the Gryffindor insane. Draco bit his lip and moaned, throwing his head back. He closed his eyes and thought of himself pounding into Harry. He couldn't have his eyes closed for long in case Harry decided to take advantage of the situation. He ran his fingers over his sensitive foreskin, grunting as his breathing quickened. His strokes began faster; he occasionally squeezed himself, the pressure reminding him of how it felt to be inside Harry's tight, hot arse.

Harry was going crazy. He looked at Draco's glorious cock and thought of nothing else but that he wanted it inside of him. The way the Slytherin touched himself was so personal and prized that it sent jolts through him. He couldn't take it anymore.

"Okay!" Harry shouted. "I give in."

Draco paused and considered the boy lying helplessly on the floor. He cocked his head to the side, "No."

Harry's words were thrown back at him and they felt like ice. "_Please_."

Draco shook his head. He bought his free hand up to his nipple and rolled it in between his thumb and his finger. Harry cried out in frustration. "Please Draco," Harry begged "I'll do anything. I'm begging you. Please, _please_."

Draco ran his tongue along his bottom lip, "Say it."

"I give you my control," Harry gushed out "it's yours, you have it…you've always had it."

"Say, Draco I submit myself to you." Draco ordered him. Harry swallowed and looked reluctant. To emphasise the point Draco pumped his cock with his hand slowly while using his other hand to play with his balls.

Harry closed his eyes and breathed out. "Draco," he said "I submit myself to you."

Draco huffed, "Took you fucking long enough." Within a matter of moments Harry was on his hands and knees and Draco's lubricated cock thrust into Harry's tight arse.

"Oh Harry!" Draco gasped. "Shit you feel so good."

"Draco, fucking move!" Harry cried out. Draco grabbed Harry's hips and pounded into him. A week and a half's worth of pent up frustration was slowly released as the friction continued to build. They knew that they weren't going to last very long. They both throbbed at the beautiful sounds that escaped their lips. A thin layer of sweat covered both of their bodies. Draco's hand moved down to Harry's cock. He ran his finger over the head and brought it back up to his mouth to taste Harry's precum.

"Fuck!" Harry's screamed. "Go back, do that ag–oh shit right there. Oh fuck yeah."

"Harry," Draco warned as he stroked his boyfriend's cock "I'm going to cum in – oh shityes! Like ten seconds!"

Harry didn't even have the time to tell Draco that he didn't even have that long. He let out a cry and he came with Draco inside of him and his hands around him. His shot cum all over the floor. Draco felt Harry milk his cock and then suddenly a heat shot through Draco's cock and before he knew it he was screaming Harry's name as he came inside of the raven.

"You stubborn son of a bitch," Draco panted as he lay next Harry. Harry could barely manage a response he was that exhausted.

"Angry sex," he said breathing heavily "go fucking figure." The boys laughed together as they caught their breaths.

"I'm sorry about before," Draco said "I sorry that I called her a Mudblood and I'm sorry that I was…just rude in general."

Harry rolled over and kissing him softly on the lips, "The sex makes up for it…and I forgive you."

Draco grinned. "You said that you came to apologise," he prompted.

"Yeah I did," Harry sighed.

"This is going to be long isn't it?" Draco asked with a roll of his eyes. "I can tell. You have that 'I'm about to come out with a whole lot of philosophical bullshit' look on your face."

"I do _not_ have that look," Harry frowned.

"You do so," Draco teased.

"Everyone's a judge," Harry grumbled "leave me alone." He snuggled up closer to Draco making the blonde chuckle.

"I'm certain I can cope with the philosophical bullshit, just say what you need to say."

"I wanted to apologise about what happened after the games but," Harry paused "I also wanted to work it out." He searched for Draco's reaction. Draco's smile faded but he nodded nonetheless.

"If I come out it's not going to be the same without you," he began "and I'm not going to pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. People have been doing that to you your whole life and I promised myself that I would be different to all of them. Yeah, I'm a bit disappointed. But that's my emotion and I can manage it. It'll happen when the time is right and right now isn't the right time for you. I know that I need to respect that. I don't want to lose you over this. I don't want you to leave."

"If I wanted to leave I would have left by now," Draco told him honestly as he planted a kiss to his forehead.

Harry loved many things about Draco. His bluntness was something that he had gotten used to. "I know," Harry breathed. "I don't care how long I have to wait for, but I'll wait for you."

"You will?" Draco frowned. Harry gave him a small smile and a nod. "Why?"

Harry did not know everything but he knew this: Being with Draco was not like being with anyone else. They were about competition, about always fighting to win. From the time they had met as first years they had tried to out win each other, to be better than the other. They argued and pissed each other off. They crossed lines and boundaries ignoring what the end result may be. Unlike everyone else they pushed to their limits, they persisted and they were determined. They constantly fought and blackmailed and snuck out. But they laughed and shared special moments and mended each other. Harry loved the fact that Draco never backed down. He always gave Harry as good as Harry gave him and that was not what he did with anyone else. Draco didn't give a shit if he hurt Harry's feelings because he said it how it was and he made Harry work. He challenged him in the ways that Harry needed to be challenged, because no one else would ever dare challenge _The Great Harry Potter_ in that way. Draco was Harry's equal although they always fought hard to top each other. Draco kept up with him, he had the energy to. He had stubbornness to. Over some things they fought, argued and hurt each other until they worked out how to resolve it, until they figured out how to exist around it.

And Harry was willing to wait however long was necessary to share that with the world.

"Because I love you," Harry said simply "and because you're worth every second."

Draco let out a relieved sigh. "Thank you," he weaved his fingers through Harry's hand.

"But," Harry interjected.

"There's always an arse," Draco muttered, the corners of his mouth turning down.

"You need to tell me what's going on," Harry said softly but sternly. Draco swallowed; he didn't even bother with trying to bullshitting Harry.

"I can't," Draco said plainly. He felt so exposed right now, he was at risk, susceptible.

"That's not good enough anymore, I need a reason."

"Harry," Draco's mouth formed a hard line as he looked at Harry in all seriousness "I can't. Nothing will change that, you need to accept it."

Harry ran his tongue across his bottom lip in his search for patience. "I'm worried about you."

"Good," Draco said to Harry's surprise "it's bloody annoying but somebody has to do it."

"I don't like not knowing what's scaring you."

"Okay," Draco nodded to himself. He sat up. "Yes," he agreed "I'm afraid. And…sometimes I can't breathe. It lets me up. Just don't give up on me," he pleaded "because I'm working it out, I promise. I won't let you down."

"Okay," Harry finally said.

"Okay?" Draco asked feeling confused. "Just like that? No further interrogation?"

"I trust you," Harry told him simply.

"You shouldn't," Draco said in a low voice.

Harry sat up. "I thought we were past that?"

Draco leaned forward and rubbed his nose against Harry's cheek. "Thank you," Draco said visibly relaxing, and he meant it. Harry opened his arms and Draco crept into them. He rested his head against Harry's shoulder.

Harry accepted that he would have to be patient for Draco's follow through. He knew that it would mean letting it go for a little while until the time came to resolve it. It would be resolved Harry had no doubt in his mind.

"Sometimes I worry that I just," Harry shook his head "make life so much harder for you."

"You don't," Draco told him honestly "you're the one that makes it bearable." Draco sighed, "It's me…I'm strange…abnormal. But thank you for loving me," he kissed Harry's cheek "because you're doing it perfectly."

"You're beautiful," Harry disagreed telling the blonde "and there's nothing wrong with you."

"Thank you," Draco whispered.

"For what?"

"For saving me…in every way a person can be saved."

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"Erm," Harry stammered "I really think that we stand an excellent chance against Slytherin. We've er," Harry tried to think of Oliver Wood for inspiration, "trained hard and we've got a skilled team and…we've trained hard. Yeah."

"Go team," Coote offered dully.

"Merlin save us all," Ginny muttered, shaking her head. She stood up and went to stand next to Harry. "Right," she said taking charge "listen up. First off, Harry you're a top captain but you're shit at pep talks so just sit down."

"Yeah sorry," Harry mumbled as he shuffled over next to his teammates.

"Secondly, I think we stand a fair chance against Slytherin. Like Harry said, we've trained hard. We've worked our arses off through rain, hail and shine." Somebody muttered something about almost becoming hypothermic during one of their training sessions, which Ginny ignored and ploughed on. "We have two top Beaters that look mean and scary when they need to, three brilliant Chasers if I do say so myself, a fantastic Keeper that can sometimes become more nervous than a hedgehog but oh well and an excellent Seeker who can just about spot a freckle on a giant's behind." She punched her fist into her palm. "We can do this Gryffindor, we're skilled, we're ready, we're brave and we're a hell of a lot prettier, so let's play a good game of Quidditch, not break any major bones touch wood," everyone touched their broomsticks "and win against those snakes!"

Katie Bell burst into applause. Coote wiped his eye, "That was beautiful." Demelza smiled and gave Ginny a thumbs up. Peakes and Coote showed each other their best mean and scary faces and began to argue who had the best face.

"Coote, hands down." Katie decided.

"That's only because you think he's better looking, he _is_ better looking, but Peakes has a scarier scary face." Demelza told her matter-of-factly.

"Excuse me while I vomit, Peakes is _not_ my type," Katie assured her "and no way, Coote clearly has the meaner face."

"Uh uh," Demelza said shaking her head.

"Ladies please," Peakes grinned "no need to fight over us."

Katie rolled her eyes. "Please, spare me."

Ron looked a tad more reassured than before although still mildly nauseous.

Harry gave Ginny a smile, "Great speech."

"Anytime Captain," she teased.

Fifteen minutes later the Quaffle was released into the air. Katie zoomed into the huddle to grab the Quaffle while Ginny and Demelza skilfully flew further down the pitch to receive a pass. It was an easy 10 points to Gryffindor.

"The Slytherin Keeper Lucas Komich does look quite upset by that doesn't he?" Harry looked towards the commentator's box to find Luna Lovegood. Harry smiled as his eyes scanned the pitch.

"On the far side of the pitch Gryffindor Beaters Coote and Peakes who seem to be looking extra scary today are aiming a Bludger at Slytherin Seeker Draco Malfoy." Luna said wistfully.

Harry's stomach gave a jolt at hearing Draco's name. Luckily Draco ducked just in time, thanks to Luna's giveaway, and missed the Bludger.

Katie and Demelza scored 10 points apiece. Slytherin's captain, Urquhart, scored, taking Ron off guard by aiming for the lower ring. Harper who was filling in for Vaisey also managed to score 10 points. The scores were now 30 – 20, with Gryffindor just in front.

Harry's eyes narrowed as he concentrated of searching for the miniscule Snitch. The wind picked up, the icy breeze swaying him slightly. Harry shivered. His eyes floated over to Draco. Who, like Harry, was hovering in the air looking for the Snitch. Harry noticed how sitting on a broom accentuated Draco's ar–

"Harry!" Coote swung his bat frightfully close to Harry's face aiming at an even closer Bludger that had missed his head my millimetres. "Be careful!"

"Thanks!" Harry called back to him. From now on he couldn't be distracted by how good his boyfriend's arse looked on a broomstick. 'I'd bet it looks better on _my_ broomstick,' Harry thought to himself with a cheeky smile. "Ugh, concentrate!" he reprimanded himself.

Ron made a spectacular save against Urquhart. Harry was startled by a shriek of pain that came from behind him. The Slytherin Beater had aimed for Katie and the Bludger had hit her directly in the nose. Harry immediately flew over to Katie who had blood dripping down her face and onto her robes.

"TIME!" Harry shouted to Madame Hooch. She nodded and blew her whistle.

"And Gryffindor Chaser Katie Bell has been hit by a nasty Bludger. Her nose seems to be broken I believe. That would hurt wouldn't it? I wouldn't know…I've never had a broken nose, though I've mended a few." Came Luna's voice from the speaker.

"Let me see," Harry reached his hands forward to Katie who was blinking back tears. There was blood all over her lips and her chin. Her fingers were covered in red blood as well. Harry reached over and touched in gently.

"_Ow!_" Katie choked out. Harry observed the unnatural bump of her nose.

"Katie, can you still fly?" Katie gave him a feeble nod. "Okay, follow me then." Harry slowly flew with Katie over to the Gryffindor stand where he hovered over the box. "Hermione," he called out "she's got a broken nose, can you fix it?"

"Harry you know the spell," Hermione frowned.

"Yeah but you're better at casting it, I don't want to turn it into a trunk by accident."

Hermione rolled her eyes. Katie flew over to her, hopped off her broom and stood next to Hermione.

"_Episkey!_" Hermione muttered pointing her wand at Katie's nose.

There was a sharp _crack_. "Fuck!" Katie shouted as she winced, her eyes screwing shut in abrupt pain.

"Is it fixed?" Parvati asked anxiously, she stood next to Hermione looking worried.

"Of course it's fixed," Hermione told her, Harry had to agree with Hermione's tone; never doubt her spellwork.

"Thanks Hermione," Katie said as she tried to wipe as much blood off her face as she could. Parvati pulled out her wand and pointed it at Katie's face. She murmured something and a moment later Katie's face was blood free and clean.

"Now go," Parvati ushered "we've got a game to win and a bunch of Slytherin's annihilate."

Katie gave Parvati a quick smirk before she and Harry jumped on their brooms and zipped back off to continue the game. The next half an hour was filled by Gryffindor scoring another 30 points, two by Ginny and one by Katie, Slytherin scoring an unfortunate 40 points and McGonagall becoming rather fanatic.

Ginny passed the Quaffle to Katie who flew over to the rings and passed it into the awaiting hands of Demelza. She aimed and missed. The Slytherin Keeper hit the Quaffle away with the end of him broom. Demelza dived down to retrieve it and threw it into the right hoop and scored.

"Yes!" Harry punched the air. He decided to do another lap of the pitch.

Draco watched Harry flew around towards him.

"Well, well, well," the blonde said as Harry approached him "if it isn't Gryffindor's famous Seeker."

"No need to applaud," Harry teased.

"You almost got hit by a Bludger before," Draco pointed out.

"So did you," Harry returned "and only because I was distracted."

"By?"

"You're arse on that broomstick."

Draco turned his head to look behind him. "It _is_ quite distracting isn't it?"

Harry grinned. He turned his head to the left and then back and Draco. He did a double-take, to Harry's far left was a gold glint. He looked back at Draco. The Slytherin didn't miss the expression on the Gryffindor's face. And just like that they were off, as fast as their brooms could fly towards the fluttering snitch.

"It looks like Gryffindor's Seeker, Harry Potter, and Slytherin's Seeker, Draco Malfoy have both spotted the Snitch. I hope they don't crash…that would be quite unfortunate." Luna said matter-of-factly.

The Snitch changed its course as if it knew it was being chased after. It whizzed upwards. Draco and Harry pulled up and followed it. It was the most real fun both boys had had in a long time. Somewhere in the back of Harry's mind he recalled the two on their Christmas holiday discussing this very game. Draco was surprised to feel that he wouldn't feel bad about winning. He knew that Harry most likely felt the same way. It was just fun. Both boys felt their testosterone flaring up and the competition was high between them. The Snitch flittered downwards with a fair amount of speed for such a small and delicate looking object. They mutually flew down with it, the ground rushing up towards them, the grass becoming clearer and clearer. The Snitch continued flying downwards. The players above them hovered in the air, watching the chase below them. The crowd were on their feet peering over the edges to get a better view.

"Watch him break his jaw," Pansy sighed shaking her head.

"Catch the blasted thing!" Blaise cried out.

"Remind me never to go to a Quidditch match with you," Pansy told him "you're an animal."

"Go Harry! Go!" Hermione shouted.

"I can't watch," Neville whimpered shielding his eyes. He may have been seventeen but his fear of brooms had not changed since his first flying lesson at eleven years old.

Hermione was squeezing Parvati's hand. "Go Harry!" Parvati screamed. "Grab it!"

Harry swerved a bit so that he was coming at the Snitch from an angle, almost parallel Draco; his Firebolt ensured that this lost him no speed or length.

"_Jump_," Harry whispered. He and Draco leapt off their booms into mid-air that was a meter off the ground at the same time. Their hands both reached out blindly. The Golden Snitch was trapped in between both Seeker's hands as they came together, encasing the Snitch in the middle of both their palms. They fell with a thud.

The crowd roared. All in question: who had caught the Snitch first?

Madame Hooch flew over. She saw the Snitch in between Harry and Draco's entwined hands.

"Right," she said roughly "hand it over, I'll sort this out."

Harry let go and Draco handed her the Snitch. She pulled out her wand and whispered a spell over the Snitch.

"You both touched it at the same time," she said disbelievingly. Harry and Draco looked at each other.

"I'm still better," Draco grinned.

"Yeah at falling off your broom." Harry retorted with a laugh. He turned to Madame Hooch, "So what happens now?"

"You both get awarded 150 points each," she said simply.

"So who wins?" Harry asked stupidly.

"The team that has the most points Potter." Draco replied obviously. "Idiot."

Harry flushed somewhat. "Oh…so who's that?"

Madame Hooch counted the numbers in her head. "210 – 220," she finally announced. She turned to face the spectators. She _Sonorus_ed her voice. "Gryffindor win!" She exclaimed.

The crowd cheered loudly. The Gryffindor's all gave each other bear hugs and squealed. The Slytherin's looked around moodily and slowly emptied their stand.

"Good game Potter," Draco inclined his head.

"You too," Harry gave the Slytherin a nod and a smile "see you later." When Harry realised that Madame Hooch was no longer there he added, "Change rooms in fifteen minutes?"

Draco simply gave Harry a look that made him groan and walked off the pitch.

Harry turned around and was hit with the full force of three female Gryffindor Chasers jumping on him screaming, "We won!"

Harry tried breathing under the stack of girls that had pounced on him. He feebly moved his arms and legs. "Can't," he gasped "breath!"

"Oops!" Demelza said as she rolled off Harry. Katie offered him a hand up after Ginny rolled off him as well.

"Thanks," he exhaled.

Ron clapped Harry on the back, "Well done mate."

"You too," Harry gave Ron a light punch on the shoulder "you made some seriously awesome saves."

Ron blushed red and shuffled his feet slightly. Harry gave his Beaters, Coote and Peakes, a high five each.

"Well done," Harry told his team "we played really well and I'm proud of the lot of you."

"Group hug!" Ginny shouted merrily and Harry was once again squished in the middle of his team mates. He smiled fondly at them. "Alright," Ginny said loudly "let's get showered and changed because there's a party up in Gryffindor tower!"

Everyone cheered. Harry turned to walk outside.

"Where are you going?" Ron asked.

"McGonagall wants to speak to me," he explained "you all get ready and I'll meet you up in Gryffindor."

Harry walked outside onto the pitch.

"That was an excellent match Mr. Potter," McGonagall approved.

"Thanks professor," Harry smiled. "I hope you gave Snape a hard time."

McGonagall frowned at first but then said, "Just between the two of us I might rub it in a fraction."

Harry grinned. "I won't tell anymore if you lay it on a _bit _thicker, Professor."

McGonagall gave Harry one of her rare smiles. "Well done Potter, please congratulate your team on my behalf."

"I will Professor," Harry promised "have a good evening." He chuckled privately to himself at the thought of Snape being irritated. By the time Harry had almost reached the change rooms everyone had left for Gryffindor. Draco fell in step with Harry.

"Where did you come from?" Harry asked.

"The Slytherin change rooms are on the opposite side to yours," Draco pointed the door all the way over the other side.

They walked towards the Gryffindor change rooms. They passed the broom shed. Harry stopped walking and blinked.

_It was dark, the weather was cold. It was way passed curfew. The grass was soft under his shoes as he ran with the blonde boy. Draco pulled him by the hand. He was pressed against the wooden door of the shed with the beautiful Gryffindor pushed up against his body. He moved his head forward hungrily, connecting their lips. He prayed no one would find them. He knew what Harry's boundaries were and he made sure never to cross them and risk the raven distancing himself from him. Draco's hand fumbled around for the door handle. Once he had found it he turned it and stepped backwards pulling himself inside the cupboard along with Harry. Draco shut the door and did not waste any time placing his lips back on Harry's. Draco frowned. He stopped kissing. He took a step back in confusion. Harry stood frozen. His eyes darting around the space, Draco doubted that Harry even remembered that Draco was there with him. Harry's eyes continued looking around at the shed. The dark space. The enclosed space. The small space. _

"_Harry?" Draco said hesitantly. _

_Harry didn't hear him. Dark. Tight. Small. Harry's palms began to moisten with sweat. His heartbeat accelerated with alarming speed. He could feel it, pounding in his chest. He could feel his pulse in his wrists, his ears, his head, his legs. A bead of sweat trickled down his neck. His clothes felt sticky, like they were clinging on the fine sheet of moisture that was now glistening over his skin. _

_The walls. There were four. And a roof. And a floor. Two doors. That he couldn't get to. They were locked shut. They had to be. There was no escaping._

_No escape._

_Trapped._

_He couldn't stop the trembling in his fingers. He couldn't stop his vision from shaking. _

_Click. Click. Click._

_Harry froze in his mind. His thoughts seemed to run dry. The clicking…_

_Click. Click. Click. Click. Click._

_And suddenly he was back in the cupboard under the stairs. Uncle Vernon threw him in the cupboard. He slammed the tiny door shut and locked it shut with a _click_._

"_You're not coming out," Uncle Vernon snarled with glee. "No, no, no. You're not coming out until I say. No food. No water. No toilet. No one."_

_Harry remembered the stale air that built up from the closed vent. The burning smell that never seemed to go away due to that fact he couldn't use a toilet. The small room that got impossibly smaller each time. The tormenting. Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia and Dudley. The three of them. Constantly at the vent taunting him, tormenting him. Whispering things to him. Once Dudley opened the vent and let the smell of his dinner waft in. The stabbing ache of his hungry stomach. His dry tongue. Accepting that fact that this time, he might not make it. _

_I'm not going to make it out this time, Harry told himself as the darkness threatened to overwhelm him. He couldn't see Draco. He couldn't see the light switch. He couldn't see the doors. If I don't get out I'm really going to die, he thought. I can't make it out, I can't control this. His feet wouldn't move. He opened his mouth to breathe but no air came through. He didn't know where his hands ought to be put. His legs, his head, his stomach, where? Eventually they were wrapped around his throat. It was strange how he could hear himself gasping. He could hear the air coursing through his lungs. But he couldn't feel it. It didn't feel like the oxygen was entering his body. _

_I can't breathe._

_I can't breathe._

_I can't think._

_All he knew was that everything was becoming smaller. And tighter. His eyes flittered, looking at the dark room. He felt like he was breathing air underwater, that heavy pressure on his chest. The pressure felt like it was expanding. Reaching his fingers. Panic. Fear. Terror. Frightened. Scared. Panic. Anxious. Panic. Panic. Panic._

_Let me out._

_Let me go._

_Let me free._

_Escape. _

_What if the doors open? But they won't. They never did. I could never open them. They never opened. They won't open. _

_I'm not safe._

_I can't get out. There is no possible way for me to get out. I'm stuck here. Trapped again._

_Everything is out of control. _

_I can't breathe._

_Let me go._

_Help._

_And then the air in his lungs finally ran out and everything went black. _

"_Harry!" He opened his eyes slowly. It was still dark, but he could smell grass. He could smell fresh air. He could hear the fresh air, the rustle through the trees. _

"_Harry!" He could feel the tickle of something behind his neck. Where was he? What was that sound? What had just happened? He remembered something about dark and small. _

"_Harry!" Something slapped him on his cheek. The pain was sharp and acute and abruptly startled him, bring him back to reality. He blinked and sat up. _

"_Draco?" Harry frowned. He looked around. "Why am I lying on the Quidditch pitch?" He ran a hand on his throbbing cheek. _

"_Would you like to explain to me what the fuck just happened?" Draco shouted. He looked severely shaken up. He was breathing fast. _

_Harry was still incredibly confused. "What are you talking about?"_

"_You gave me a fucking heart attack! I thought you were– don't ever do that to me again." Draco couldn't even make out proper sentences he was that frantic. His expression was wild. His eyes were wide with panic._

"_Draco what are you tal– oh." Everything happened very quickly. Memory came back to Harry sharper than Draco's slap had been. Nausea rolled through him and he turned to the side and threw up on the grass._

_Draco vanished it. He then conjured up a glass of water. Harry swallowed the entire content and thanked Draco._

"_What the hell happened to you?" Draco demanded. _

"_I'm sorry I scared you," Harry said quietly. He felt embarrassed that Draco had seen him like that. _

"_Harry," Draco warned. _

"_I hoped you'd never have to see that," Harry told him honestly "I didn't know that you were going to pull us into the broom shed, if you had told me I would have said no. I'm not blaming you," Harry added in quickly. "I don't like to be in small and dark spaces. When I'm in them, well," he hesitated "_that_ happens. I panic." He looked up at the black sky. "Shit," he exhaled. He realised just how irrational he had been. He _had_ been able to get out. But his mind had not been in the right mind set to allow that to even be a possibility. He was okay now. He took a deep breath and let it go. He knew he needed to sort it out. If Draco suggested for him to get help Harry would have agreed. However Draco was not the suggest help type. He was the more suffer in silence type. Harry sighed again._

"_So…you're claustrophobic." Draco said slowly._

"_More or less," Harry agreed softly. "It's complicated. I have a phobia but it's because wh– it's complicated."_

_Draco looked at Harry. "You scared what little life there is in me out," Draco said to him "you owe me an explanation." Draco wasn't interested in this being hard for him. Harry had made it hard for him too and though he would never admit it, it worked. "Now."_

_Harry considered it. He toyed with the idea. Then he realised it was only fair that he should relay his past just like Draco had done for him. He wondered why he hadn't told him already. He knew he should have._

"_Okay," Harry agreed. "When…" Harry began the tale of his childhood. He explained how magic really had saved him because it had made the Dursley's afraid of him so he was left alone and ignored now. He relayed all the details of the nights he was locked in his cupboard. The nights he would go hungry, the nights when he cried, the nights when he gave up. He told him about the Dursley's; Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia and Dudley. He told Draco what they would say to him, what they would do to him, how they would treat him, how they would torment him endlessly. _

_Draco was surprised that all this had happened to Harry but despite all of it Harry had turned out okay. He had turned out normal, relatively at least. Draco couldn't say the same for himself although he knew that it had been worse for him. He felt a range of things as Harry spoke. He felt angry towards the Dursleys; he wanted to inflict the same pain on them that they had on Harry. He felt saddened that Harry had had to live like that. He felt empathy; he could understand where Harry was coming from. He felt something stir within him. He couldn't quite label it or identify it but it was strong. He knew it was because it felt like he had a pull towards Harry. Perhaps he felt the pain the boy was describing. _

_How dare they hurt him, Draco thought, how dare they do that to him. No one is allowed to hurt him because he's _mine_. Draco felt tears spring to his eyes. He tried to stay strong for Harry who was crying freely. But Draco couldn't stop them once he knew why they were there. He didn't sob nor did his lips quiver. The tears just fell whenever he blinked. They slid down his pale face, the streaks glistening in the moonlight. _

"_Are you surprised?" Harry asked him hollowly._

"_Yes," Draco admitted. _

"_Because I'm the famous Harry Potter, the boy who has had the perfect life." Harry guessed. _

"_No," Draco shook his head. He accepted Harry into his arms where he held the Gryffindor tightly, making sure he felt safe and loved. He corrected Harry, "Because you're like me."_

_They had both come from a bad place, cracked, looking to be put back together again. They never had any king's horses or king's men. They had had to do it themselves – bit by bit. But when they had found each other they weren't alone in it anymore, they had found someone to help put the pieces back together again. They helped each other to be whole – they filled in all the missing pieces too. _

"Are you alright?" Draco asked him.

"Fine," Harry smiled. They both walked into the change rooms hand in hand. The bathroom was a mix of scarlet and gold tiles. The showers were open; a wall with seven shower heads. There were benches to their right.

"What a vile colour," Draco shook his head in mock disgust.

"I think quite the opposite," Harry winked. Draco thought that Harry looked fabulous in his Quidditch robes, despite the terrible colour.

Harry unlaced his robes, pulled off his boots and slipped off his pants. "I'm going to put these in my locker." Harry told Draco as he walked to the right towards the lockers. He placed his robes in locker number 7, the house elves would wash them and return them for his next game. Harry heard the water turn on. He took of his gloves, socks and underwear and threw them on a bench near him so he could collect them later. He walked back to the showers. Hot steam had risen, filling the air with a density. Two of the shower heads were turned on and were surging out hot water. Harry couldn't see Draco through the wall of thick steam. He walked through it and unexpectedly stopped.

Draco was running his hands through his wet blonde hair, the water running down his magnificent body, cascading to the ground. His eyes were closed as the water rushed down his face. His lips were slightly parted.

Harry quietly stepped forward; he wrapped his arms around the Slytherin Seeker's naked body and pressed himself tightly against him. He raised himself up on his toes a little and kissed Draco.

It was amazing. The water rushed in between their lips, heating their bodies as it ran down them. Draco placed his hand on Harry's thigh and brought it up to wrap around his waist. It was the most sensual shower either boy had ever had.

Harry bit his lip as he tried to suppress a moan as Draco massaged the shampoo through his hair. Harry left the soap lather to fall down onto his shoulders and run down his back. He stepped back into the water and let the jet wash the soap out of his hair.

Draco let out a heavy breath as he watched Harry in the water. The line of his perfect body, flawless as the stream fell down him. He couldn't stop himself as his hands reached out to touch the Gryffindor, to fully appreciate his superb body as his fingers ran along his wet chest and traced down his stomach painfully close to where Harry needed him most.

Harry whimpered as Draco pushed him up against the cold tiles on the wall. He didn't object to Draco's exploratory mouth that licked along his jaw. His mouth traced down to his chest where Draco's tongue swirled around Harry's nipples, his teeth grazing the sensitive area. His lips kissed further down. His teasing fingers brushed the inside of Harry's thighs making Harry buck upwards.

"_Please_," Harry begged through gritted teeth.

Draco stood back up, "Impatient aren't we?"

"Yes," Harry said half whining. He was needy. He wanted Draco's hot mouth on his throbbing erection. Harry pressed his mouth to Draco's thrusting his tongue inside the Slytherin's parted lips. He jutted his tongue in and out causing Draco to moan.

"I _want_ you," he breathed into Harry's ear before sucking the earlobe.

"Where to you want me?" Harry asked meeting his boyfriend's lustful tone.

"In my mouth," Draco replied. Harry squeezed his eyes shut at groaned at the words that came out of Draco's mouth. "Floor," the blonde said barely audible over the hiss of the running water. Harry lay down on the tiles that were warm, the sound of the water hitting the floor clear in his ears. Draco followed him; he positioned himself so that his mouth hovered over Harry's erection, the water hitting the top of his head and his upper back.

Harry forgot about everything else as soon as Draco took him in his mouth. Draco's teeth carefully grazed his shaft. He used the tip of his tongue to swirl around Harry's slit and then used the fat of his tongue to rub the spot he knew was most sensitive. Draco relaxed his throat as he swallowed Harry deeply. He couldn't breathe but that really didn't matter at the moment. He sucked so hard that Harry knew for sure that all of his blood was rushing down south. The Slytherin pulled away to take in a gasp of air. Harry would have made a sound of protest if not for the sight before him.

The water poured down on Draco's head making his blonde hair drip forward, the water oozed down his face and trickled off his open lips. Harry felt a tightening in his stomach. And oh how much he wanted Draco. He did not, in that moment, understand how such a divine being such as Draco had come to be with him. Harry bucked his hips up impatiently.

The sounds that left Harry's lips spurred Draco on. The part of Harry's cock that Draco's mouth couldn't quite reach was wrapped around with his hands that jerked him up and down. Harry thought he was going to explode. Electricity seemed to jolt up his spine.

"Godric fuck!" Harry screamed.

Draco's tongue shouldn't have been allowed to do that – because it felt too damn amazing. He pulled away before he came too early.

The steam continued to rise. It shielded the outside world from the scene in the shower. Harry's hands ran over Draco's body. He soaped the blonde's body. His fingers moved in circles on Draco's chest and then his stomach. His palms massaged his arse. He pushed Draco against the wall as his hands rubbed the fruit smelling soap on his back. Harry stroked Draco's arms; he ran his hands from the blonde's shoulders right to the tips of his fingers. He brought Draco's hand behind his neck and engaged in a passionate kiss. Harry then dropped down to floor as he gently rubbed along his calves in a circular motion.

Draco gasped as Harry's tongue licked the underside of his cock. Harry's tongue caressed Draco's erect member as his hands trailed up and down the Slytherin's thighs. Draco's hands were balled up into fists. Harry's devious tongue traced up and down. It made the other boy lose his chain of thoughts. He felt like his every nerve was being attended to. It was just that, Harry's hands seemed to be everywhere. Brushing the inside of his thighs, massaging his balls, pinching his nipples. Draco fisted his Harry's hair, he hadn't meant to be rough but he just couldn't help it. He had to pull away before it became too much, before it through his over the edge.

Somehow they were under the jet of water again. They were close together. Draco hesitantly leaned his head forward softly touching Harry's lips with his own. As soon as that happened something snapped and their movements ceased to be slow. They fought to kiss. It was almost territorial the way their mouths clashed and their tongues battled. They did what they did best and that was fight to be better, to win, to not back down and to override the other.

They tugged on each other's erections. The water proved as an excellent substance that made their hands slide with easy allowing them to stroke faster and quicker. Their groans filled the empty change room. Harry's threw his head back and let out a cry of pleasure. Their kisses were extremely messy as their preoccupied hands were not able to hold their faces close enough. However this was not a problem; lips, tongue, chin – whatever they kissed it was irrelevant. As long as they were kissing some part of the other everything was fine. As their pace quickened so did their moans and exclamations.

They couldn't stop their orgasms from bolting through them like a sharp, hot crack of lightning. Harry's back arched into Draco's blissful hand. Flash after flash of agonisingexcruciating agonisinga pleasure shot through Draco's body setting fire to every nerve, every inch of him. Luckily the water was still running so they were able to quickly wash away the cum on their bodies.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry was still a little pruney from the extended shower. But Draco had pruney hands too so they sort of matched in a way.

"I have to go down to the dungeons and join the pity party," Draco stopped walking and gave Harry a quick kiss "thank you for the shower, I feel very clean."

Harry snorted. "Really now?" he snickered "Because I'm still under the impression that you're quite _dirty_."

Draco gave Harry a naughty grin and then turned the corner to walk down to the dungeons. Harry smiled broadly as he walked towards Gryffindor tower. As he almost reached the portrait hole he saw Katie Bell and Parvati Patil engaged engaged in quite an explicit snogging session. Harry walked quietly as not to disturb them. However this proved in possible as he needed to speak the password to enter the tower. The girls jumped apart as they heard Harry approach.

"Er…Hi Harry," Katie said awkwardly. She swallowed and looked at Parvati.

"Hey," Harry said indifferently "great game by the way."

"Oh…you too," she said looking uncomfortable. Parvati shuffled uneasily uneasily next to her. "Look Harry, if you could not say anything to anyone about this beca–"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Harry said airily, interrupting her.

The girls both looked startled but gave him confused looks.

Harry looked around. "I didn't see anything," he shrugged innocently.

They both visibly relaxed. "Thanks Harry," Parvati said gratefully giving him a timid smile.

"For what?" he asked feigning confusion. Just before he stepped through the portrait whole he flashed them a smile.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"Oh good!" Ginny exclaimed. "Harry can come with us." Ginny grabbed Harry by the arm and dragged him along with her, Ron and Hermione back out of the portrait hole. Parvati and Katie were gone – they had evidently changed their venue for the better.

As soon as they were sure the coast was clear Harry asked, "So where are we going?"

Before Ginny could answer him Hermione asked him sharply, "Harry where have you been? We've be wondering what you had gotten up to–" She hastily cut herself off as she eyed the cut on Harry's neck. "Harry what happened to your neck?"

"What are you talking about?" Harry frowned.

"You're neck mate," Ron replied apprehensive, he pointed to the side of Harry's neck "it's bleeding."

Harry's hand flew up to his neck. He traced the cut and realised the shape and what had cut the skin. "Sneaky bastard," Harry muttered to himself. He hadn't even felt Draco bite his neck. That was a bit embarrassing.

"Looks like a bite mark," Ginny commented trying to hide her smile.

Harry gave her a look. "Gee thanks Ginny," he said at the same time Hermione gasped, "A bite mark?"

"Now you've done it," Harry grumbled giving Ginny an '_are you happy now?'_ look.

"_That's_ why you took so long in the shower?" Ron grinned with raised eyebrows.

"Why does this always happen to me?" Harry asked himself. Harry eagerly tried to change the subject. "So where are we going?" he repeated.

"To sneak out to the Three Broomsticks to get a whole heap of Butterbeers for the party back at the Tower," Ginny explained as they turned into another corridor "you know, to celebrate and all." She gave Harry a smirk, "But by the looks of it you've had your own celebration."

Harry groaned. The others snickered. "You all just love picking on me don't you?" He asked grumpily.

"Yes," Ginny snorted. Ron laughed out loud. Hermione tried to hide her laughter for Harry's sake. "But hey," Ginny said putting her hands up in reasoning "I'm not judging. Shower sex is great."

This effectively sobered Ron up. This made Hermione laugh. "Oh come on," Ron complained with a frown "I did not need to know that."

"What?" Ginny exclaimed innocently "I'm just putting it out there. You're all no fun." She turned to Harry. "_So_," she nudged him with her elbows and waggled her eyebrows making Harry laugh "how'd it go?"

"_Ginny!_" Ron and Hermione protested.

"Oh shut up you two," she waved about "you two are as exciting as a seventy year old married couple." Harry struggled to hide his snort. "Well?" she nudged Harry again.

"You know," Harry began to point out with a laugh "I never ask you about what you and Dean get up to."

"And don't start to," Ron begged.

"I would but I'd freak you out big time," she admitted as she brushed her long red hair behind her shoulder.

"Happy place, happy place, happy place, happy place, happy place," Ron chanted to himself as he covered his ears.

"I doubt that," Harry told her "there's nothing you have done that I haven't done."

"We had sex in your dorm last night," Ginny challenged. Harry's mouth dropped on cue but then transfigured into a broad grin as he saw the expression on Ron's face.

Ron seemed to snap out of his happy place. "You _what_?" he shouted. "How?"

"It's called using enchantments, Ron." Ginny shook her head.

"I have had sex in our dorm," Harry confessed "but not while anyone was in there."

"Okay so I get 10 points and you get 5," Ginny said fairly. Harry nodded.

"Room of Requirement?" he asked.

"Obviously," Ginny rolled her eyes. "Anyone can do that. 5 points each. What are we both on?"

"Harry's on 10 and Ginny's on 15," Hermione said instantly.

"Don't you get involved with this!" Ron exclaimed.

"I'm just keeping count," she relied harmlessly harmlessly.

"Change room showers," Ginny said.

"Tick," Harry grinned "15 points each. Potions classroom down in the dungeons?"

"Shifty," Ginny approved "I haven't done that yet –" Ron buried his head in his hands at the word 'yet' "– that gets 20 points. Astronomy tower?"

"Not exactly sex but around that activity, yes."

"Still counts, 15 points each."

"Okay," Harry started to really think now "the library?"

"Of course," Ginny laughed. Hermione looked appalled.

"15 points," he reasoned "and only because there's a high risk of being caught."

"In the carts on the way to school?" Ginny asked.

Harry burst out laughing. "Are you serious?" he asked at the same time Ron did.

"The constant bumping makes for a great experience," Ginny told them in a matter-of-fact tone.

"That deserves a good 25 five points." Harry awarded.

"Thank you thank you, no need to put your hands together." Ginny bowed.

"Train sex?" Harry questioned.

"Kinky," Ginny winked "that would be fun. You get 20 points for that. How about in Hogsmeade?"

"Yes," Harry nodded "blimely that one was tricky."

"25 points," Ginny agreed.

"I've got a couple," Harry told her "on a little bridge in Venice at two a.m in the rain, a hotel in Paris and a hotel in Venice."

"That's why you wouldn't tell us the full extent of your trip," Hermione connected the dots and shook her head.

"Bloody hell," Ginny laughed "okay so 40 for the bridge, and 20 each for the hotels. Moaning Myrtle's bathroom?"

"Really," Harry asked looking like it would be quite an off-putting experience "any good?"

"Myrtle wasn't there at the time," Ginny explained "but we made up for the moaning." Ginny grinned and Harry laughed. Ron looked up at the ceiling no doubt praying for this to end. "Okay 20 for the bathroom." Harry said generously.

"The Burrow?" Ginny asked.

"No way," Harry said shaking his head; he didn't even allow himself to entertain the idea of taking Draco to the Burrow even in secret "not possible."

"When was Dean at the Burrow?" Ron asked in amazement, his eyes wide as he looked at his sister in shock.

"And that my dear brother, you shall never know," she in a melancholy tone "nor do you want to." She added.

"You get 30 for The Burrow," Harry offered.

"30 is good," Ginny agreed "you got anything else?"

He did in fact. But it was private; he didn't want to share it with anyone other than Draco. The Shrieking Shack was nobody's business but theirs.

"No," Harry shook his head. "Hermione," he asked "what's the final score?"

Hermione blinked and was silent for a second before saying, "Harry you have 200 points and Ginny you have 135 points."

"Rookie," Harry teased lightly punching her shoulder. Ginny poked her tongue out at him but then laughed.

"Oh well," she smiled "this just gives me an excuse to be more sexually wild."

Harry couldn't help bursting out laughing again. "No it does _not_," Ron said sternly. This only made Harry and Ginny laugh harder.

"Speaking of sexually wild," Ginny began "what are men's obsessions with breasts?" Hermione and Ginny both looked expectantly at Harry and Ron. "I mean honestly," Ginny said dramatically as she shook her head "they're not that exciting. How are you all turned on by a jiggling ball of fat?" Hermione giggled at Ginny's bluntness. Harry tried not to but he couldn't help, he scrunched up his nose in disgust.

Harry was speechless. Ron seemed to be suffering in the same condition as Harry.

"Well?" Hermione asked looking at Ron.

Ron turned a bright shade of red. "I…uh…well…er," Ron stammered "they're just…attractive." Hermione and Ginny both rolled their eyes.

"And what about you?" Ginny asked Harry.

Harry quite frankly agreed with her, he couldn't comprehend what the fascinations about breasts were. In fact, he was actually quite turned off by them. They were just sort of _there_. They weren't anything special. If truth be told they sort of got in the way. Harry didn't understand why you would choose breasts, which put a limit on how close you could press up against each other, as opposed to a smooth, flat chest which was flawless and perfect. Like Draco's…

"Oi!" Ginny clicked her fingers in front of Harry's face. "Snap out of it."

"Oh umm…what he said," Harry quickly said looking at Ron.

"Men," Hermione and Ginny sighed in unison.

"I'll never understand women," Ron said, giving up.

"Hmmm," Harry agreed absentmindedly as his thoughts wondered back off to Draco's chest…

**Thanks for reading! **

**Feel free to review **

***Thank you to BoundIrishAngel for helping me with the ideas of how to write the flashback scene, I love you and your rants. Also to DwellingOnDreams7, xXShadowBeliverXx, Melanie, Janitajasmin, DarkestAngel13, lostsoulsoftheunderworld, MagnificentFern, Emiii25, arushi sethi, Buttercup123, and Cascol3 because I love you guys in general. And a red carpet roll out for my Beta – I want a fez – thank you for perfecting this for me!**

***If anyone is looking for a decent Drarry or Dramione there is a fanfic author called Reverie Wilde who I idolise, they write The Wand Game or Eight Year Discoveries, Harry Potter Porn Star, Auror and Snitch and New Years Kiss. I recommend all of them (the last one is a Dramione btw)**HJa


	13. First Love

**Happy Valentine's Day for yesterday! I hope you all shared the LOVE Thank you to everyone who reviewed, thank you to my beautiful BETA and a special thank you to my friends, and all others, who seriously helped me with ideas. I know that this is a short chapter and I'm so sorry that it's taken me three million years to do this chapter but I've been doing this, year nine, class captain speech, netball, Italian school, dancing, homework, tampons, other stories and sleep deprivation at the same time…gaaahhh. I hope you all like this chapter as I made it as romantic as possible. To those reviews I haven't replied to yet, I still love you and I will get around to you all one at a time. Oh and everyone PANIC….my mum knows the name of this story O.O that could be potentially grave digging/headstone engraving stuff. It's 11:45pm so I better get to bed now (school photos tomorrow) hope you like the chapter!**

**CHAPTER 13 – FIRST LOVE**

Hogwarts was a school that was home to numerous students of various different talents. Some students were academic, some were good at sport, some were social, some were organized, some were leaders and some were a mixture of many of those things. However one thing that every Hogwarts student was adept at was distributing news without teacher detection. This was why the word that the sixth year's monthly gathering was spread so quickly. At the end of January all the sixth year students that were permanently interested signed their names down. Pansy Parkinson in all of her, in Draco's words, 'skill to throw an undetected party' decided that she would quite like to break tradition just this once – and with good reason of course. Therefore the group of sixth years immediately came to know that there would be no gathering on the first of February.

"We're meeting on Valentine's day," Pansy said to Blaise and Draco as she sat on the couch of the Slytherin common room "before you both bitch in let me finish. Everyone will have the day to themselves, though we'll all meet for dinner. Everyone gets to bring their valentine. And _yes_, I mean _everyone_, even if they aren't in the sixth year. I know that is breaking tradition but I think it's for a worthy cause. Shocking or rocking?"

Draco and Blaise considered this. It would be breaking tradition. A very big tradition in fact.

"I think," Draco said slowly "that it's a definite possibility."

Blaise shrugged. "I'm good with that." Pansy clapped her hands excitedly.

"Right," she beamed "I have a heap to do."

So it was there forth known that the gathering would be on the fourteenth of February. Everyone was incredibly excited. However Draco and Harry were left wondering what to do…

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

The fourteenth of February. It was a day of many meanings. Some wrote it in red and pink ink in their calendars whilst others did not write it in at all. Around the castle there were a variety of smiles – bashful smiles, happy smiles, excited smiles, lovely smiles, small smiles, big smiles, adoring smiles, unrequited smiles, grins, kind smiles, naughty smiles and even unseen smiles. Some felt that this was merely just another day in the year. Others despised it because they, yet again, had no one to share it with and others had been counting the days leading up to it. It was also a day of reflection – what you had, what you wanted, what you planned to have and what you should be thankful for.

It was also a day spent in many different ways. With friends, with the one you loved, with family – in private, in a group, in secret, in public, the library, the Three Broomsticks, the lake, the corridors, the room of requirement, an empty classroom, the forest, the great hall.

For professor Snape it was a Saturday of glaring at students and taking house points for proximity between students. For Lavender it was a day for brooding.

"It's cruel to love in front of the loveless," she said to an absentminded Parvati after seeing Dean Thomas and Ginny Weasley kiss under the tree by the lake.

"Mmm," Parvati said her mind anywhere but with Lavender. Lavender snapped her fingers in front of Parvati's glazed over and dreamy expression. "Sorry Lav, I've gotta go."

"What?" Lavender exclaimed "Where?"

"Meeting someone," Parvati called out as she raced towards the castle. Lavender huffed.

Hermione and Ron sat on the grass of the Quidditch pitch. To Hermione today was a meaningful day, meaningful as well as enthralling.

"Valentine's day was originally called Lupercalia," Hermione told Ron. Ron simply sat back and watched Hermione's expressions change as she passionately retold history. "In France and England Valentine's day was chosen on the fourteenth of February because that was when the bird mating season began supposedly. Lupercalia was a muggle religion, Christianity, festival for the Order of Roman Priests. However the muggle Valentine's Day is entwined with the Wizarding world's Valentine's Day because Valentine was actually a wizard. In the third century in Rome the muggle emperor at the time, Claudius II, created a law saying that young men were not allowed to get married as he decided that single men made better soldiers. However that was the muggle law and not the wizards' law. Therefore Valentine, who was a qualified Bonder, continued to bond magical couples. He was found performing the Bonding ceremony and even though it was alien to muggles they still knew it was a type of marriage and for that reason his wand was snatched from him as were his other possessions and he was killed."

Ron smiled dreamily as he watched Hermione. "Fascinating," Ron smiled.

At the lake which had frozen over, Ginny and Dean knew that people could see them but in Ginny didn't really mind. She made it her responsibility to make sure no part of Dean's face and neck was untouched by her lips. "You're really great you know," she told him as she smothering his lips in kisses.

"You're really perfect you know," he replied. He placed his hand on her cheek, he loved the way there skin contrasted each other – so different and yet so much the same.

Ginny stopped and grinned. "I am?"

"You are," he told her placing a kiss on her nose "you're perfect for me."

"Good," she said and then promptly snogged him until they were desperate for air.

While they were recovering their breaths Dean said, "You're going to love tonight." And he knew she would – she was _Ginny_.

They both glanced over at the other side of the large tree were people were magically carving love quotes.

_I love you more than words can say_

_If you love somebody, let them go. If they return they are always yours. If they don't they never were._

_A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge_

_At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet_

_Come live in my heart and pay no rent_

_One of the hardest things in life is watching the person you love, love someone else_

_Do all things with love_

_For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips that you kissed but my soul_

_I can live without many things but not love_

_I like not only to be loved, but to be told that I am loved, and to tell that I love_

_If you want to be loved, be lovable _

_Love is like music, it can be understood no matter what language _

_Without you I am nothing_

_The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned_

_Love is just a word until somebody comes along and gives it meaning. _

_Love is just love, it can never be explained. _

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry could see his breath as he exhaled into the icy air. He had wrapped his scarf tightly around his neck and tucked it into his jumper. He had to admit he was cold, it _was_ snowing. But he wasn't as cold as Draco.

"How are you continuously warm?" Draco shivered. Harry just smirked as he kissed Draco's red nose. They finally climbed over the hill and Harry realised where Draco was taking him. In the distance there was a small brown shack. It was dusted with snow and looked very humble as it sat all shabby in the cold. Harry entwined his fingers with Draco's.

"Quite fitting don't you think?" Draco asked quietly. Harry nodded and he closed his eyes and remembered. "I don't know about you but I'm freezing…"

Harry nodded hastily, "Right, sorry. Let's go."

They trailed up the Shrieking Shack leaving footprints in the white snow as they walked. They cleared some of the snow away from the small door so that they could creep in.

"Ladies first," Harry said gesturing towards the door.

"I would show you what I think about that with the fitting hand gesture except I can't feel my fingers," Draco grumbled. Harry followed him into the shack and his breath was rapidly taken away. The dusty old room actually showed faded colours as the layer of dust had been cleaned off. The ancient wooden table that was usually pushed up against the wall had been brought into the centre of the room. On it were a set of plates and cutlery. There was a candle in the middle, the flame flickering with the wind that the boys had brought with them upon their entrance. Lunch had been prepared.

"We keep saying that we're hopeless at being romantic," Harry said once he was able to speak again "but I think we do a pretty good job."

Draco wrapped his arms around Harry's stomach, pressing the Gryffindor's back to his chest. "Do you like it?"

Harry turned his head to the side and kissed Draco on the lips. "I love it."

As they walked over to the small table and sat down on its connected benches Harry's eyes found the mauve bed in the corner. The curtains had been hoisted up; it was just as Harry remembered. Draco flicked his wand to light the fireplace, warm flames flickered to life.

"I haven't been back," Harry said to Draco as he looked around the room. He poured the hot soup into his bowl and it steamed up is glasses.

"I came back the day after," Draco said. He brought the spoon up to his frozen lips, shivering as the hot liquid ran down his throat.

"You did?"

Draco nodded.

Harry didn't know that Draco had come back. Harry didn't want to come back unless Draco was with him. It was _their_ place together. Harry noticed that Draco scooped his soup up with his spoon backwards. He scooped his towards the back. Draco finally noticed that Harry was watching him interestedly.

"Yes I know," he huffed "I'm weird."

Harry smiled. "I think it's adorable," he disagreed.

"Somehow that's worse," Draco rolled his eyes but smiled. He didn't truly mean that though, in fact quite the opposite. He had found the person that thought his weird habits were adorable – Harry was perfect for him. He had known this for a long time however it was reminders like these that he treasured.

Once they had finished their lunch Draco vanished everything and said, "I want to show you something." He gestured towards the bed and they both sat on the yielding mattress. Harry felt the covers between his fingers – everything was as he remembered.

Draco pulled out a small box and handed it to Harry. It was made of a dark wood. Harry opened it. At first he was taken away but then he became confused as to what it was. He picked it up gently. It was a gold pocket watch. The chain was simple. It used yellow and white gold through its chain. The clock itself was gold plated with a white face. However instead of showing the time, in the middle of the white face was a number etched it cursive gold writing _317._

"It's beautiful," Harry said feeling awestruck.

"Do you know what it is?" Draco asked with a knowing smile. Harry smiled timidly and shook his head. "It counts the days."

"Of the year?" Harry frowned.

"No," Draco shook his head and looked into Harry green eyes "it counts the days that I've loved you. I've loved you for three hundred and seventeen days."

Harry didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to think. It was the most beautiful thing in the entire world. It meant everything to him. It was as if those three digits were the answer to all of his questions, it was as simple as 317.

"Harry Potter, I promise that that number will increase as each day passes until the end of forever because I will _never_ stop loving you."

Harry's throat constricted.

"You made that promise to me right here and now I'm making mine in the same place," Draco told him. The thing that was so special about kissing was that it was something that was used when there were no words to describe. And Harry kissed Draco passionately. They lay there together simply holding each other close. Together, they remembered why this place was so cherished to them…

_They had only used the invisibility cloak for good measure, the darkness of the night sufficed perfectly for hiding them. They took it off as soon as they entered the tunnel. They climbed through it, knowing where it led to. The night was fresh it felt like spring should feel – new, alive, refreshing, crisp. The smell of the grass long followed them into the tunnel. As they hoisted themselves through the small entrance they realised just how alone they were. Outside of the castle, no one knew they were here. There was no need to take precautions, no need to cast concealing charms, no need to hide. They had both changed out of their robes and put on their casual clothes. _

_With a swish of his wand Draco vanished the layer of dust that covered the old room. Not that he was counting, but tonight was a month and four days since Draco had finally given in and agreed to legitimately go out with Harry. Twelve days before that they had shared their first kiss. Fourteen days after they had decided to begin their relationship Harry had told Draco that he loved him. _

_They hadn't seen each other for a week and a half privately. They had come here to be alone for a while. It was a Friday night and whilst everyone was preoccupied with celebrations of the week being over Harry and Draco both snuck out of their common rooms undetected. _

_Now that they were safely away they let their masks drop. _

"_Hi," Harry said stepping in closer. _

"_Hello," Draco said. _

"_I've missed you a lot," Harry told him. Draco didn't respond, he knew that by now Harry knew that when it came to each other their emotions were quite impressively in sync. He stepped in and kissed the Gryffindor eagerly. Harry wanted to touch him however he wasn't sure if he should. By now Harry knew he shouldn't hesitate when it came to showing his physical affection however he was still apprehensive about some things. Draco felt Harry's hesitation. He took Harry's hands and guided them up to the sides of his face, then Draco too put his hands on either side of Harry's face locking them in to a kiss where they pressed their lips together. Holding each other brought a sense of control to both of them. It was like having better control over a quill therefore your writing was neater. _

_They had recently been together where, for the first time, they removed all of their clothing. They hadn't had sex but they had touched each other. Afterwards Harry had still burned in the places Draco had touched him; he had still felt the electricity running through his body. Harry tried not to think about it too much to avoid becoming aroused. _

_Draco's pulse sped up in his chest. For once in his life he was feeling warm. He took of his jumper and placed it on the chest in front of the bed. He unwillingly removed himself from Harry's lips and walked over to the bed. He sat in the middle where Harry joined him. _

"_Kiss me," Draco asked almost inaudibly, and Harry did. The way he felt when he was with Harry was something celestial, something that couldn't be found anywhere on this planet, something out of this world. _

_That was the moment he knew._

_Draco not only loved Harry for who he was, but for how he was when he was with Harry. Harry had uncovered a different person inside of Draco, the real person. _

_He pulled away. "Harry?" he said. Harry ran a hand through his hair quickly knowing that his attempts to tame it were futile. He sat up. _

"_Even though I did everything that I did, the whole time I was afraid." Draco began. "When I saw you I was afraid to meet you. When I met you I was afraid to kiss you. When I kissed you I was afraid to love you. Now that I love you," he swallowed, looking into Harry's deep green eyes for assurance "I am afraid to lose you._"

_Harry ran his thumb down Draco's jaw. He looked at the person that he treasured in his life. "Don't be," he whispered "Draco Malfoy, I promise to love you every day until the end of forever. I will _never_ stop loving you."_

_Draco ran his eyes over Harry's face._

"_Make love to me?" he breathed. _

_Harry nodded. _

_No one else knew what was going to happen; no one else knew what was to be. Just them, as it should be. Slowly their clothing came off. For the second time Harry ran his hands across Draco smooth, pale chest. Touching him felt like touching something sacred. Harry didn't know what he was supposed to do though somehow he just knew. Draco felt Harry's hot breath on him as Harry kissed down Draco's chest. They didn't hold back but it was still incomparable to anything else. They lay next to each other. Draco took Harry's hand in his and kissed his fingers then slowly planted kisses up his arm and eventually his neck until he reached the raven's lips. There they stayed as the boys moved closer together. _

_There was so much to be rediscovered, so many places where they hadn't yet caressed. Harry ran his fingers up Draco's leg, trailing up his hip and then his stomach with a feather light touch. Draco shivered in response. The Slytherin intertwined his fingers into the Gryffindor's dark hair gradually pulling him closer so that they were face to face. Harry closed his eyes and Draco could feel Harry's breath millimetres from his lips. He tilted his head up slightly so that their lips barely touched. Then they pressed their lips together, they moved in harmony, joining. Both tilting their heads to the side, their mouths parted a little as they slipped their tongues inside. Their faces locked together in a fiery kiss. _

_Harry nervously and hesitantly moved his hand down in between them. He stopped just before his hands touched Draco's erection. Draco kissed him fervently – urging him. Harry gripped him, feeling him. Draco's back arched up and he moaned in Harry's mouth. He pulled back slightly from Harry's lips, panting. _

"_You're so beautiful," Harry said, his breaths were heavy. _

_Draco had had sex many times, with a variety of girls. However nothing compared to this – no one had ever made him feel like this. Harry rendered him powerless, he seemed to melt under the raven's touch, something that nothing or no one had managed to do to him before. Therefore he had no choice other than to give himself to Harry. It was uncomplicated; the choice was as easy as breathing – natural, as if he was created for the other boy. _

_Harry sensed the decision and he pulled away a fraction. As they looked deeply into each other's eyes Draco wondered how people made love to each other when they weren't in love at all. He couldn't understand it for when he looked into Harry's eyes, into Harry's soul, he knew that his would shatter if Harry didn't truly love him. And Harry did love him, loved him with every part of his being. He didn't want there to be anyone else except for Harry, he wanted it to be like this always. A shudder rippled through him as Harry cast a charm on him. _

_Harry was ready, he was finally ready to share himself with Draco. Harry wanted to give his virginity to him. The thought surprised him, not because it was new but because it hadn't entered his mind throughout the time they had been here. It was their first time together, but it was also Harry's first time ever. And in his belief, it couldn't have been anymore perfect. _

_Harry pressed himself against Draco. "Are you nervous?" he asked quietly. _

"_No," Draco shook his head and gazed up at Harry adoringly "I'm with you." Draco brought his hand to Harry's and held it. "Are you?" _

"_A bit," Harry disclosed. _

"_Don't be, I trust you." Draco kissed him lightly on the lips. _

_Harry closed his eyes and when he opened them he whispered, "Teach me how to love you."_

_Draco lay on his back with his knees up and his feet flat on the bed. He parted his legs slightly further apart. He took Harry's hand and placed it around his erection and the other on his hip. Draco then rested his own hand beside his and the other he entwined with Harry's hand that was on his hip. He lay back and let Harry take everything that he was, everything that weighted him, everything that hurt him, everything that was him. For the first time in his life…he shared it all. _

_Harry moved slowly. He caressed Draco's face with kisses. He whispered that he loved him in his ear. He rubbed his hand soothing along Draco's stomach and chest. The air around them was heated and the two boys were sure that if there were windows they would have been fogging. When the pain became too much Harry kissed him, stroking him with his hands. And then their bodies came together and all of a sudden, they felt love._

_The world seemed to stop turning for an instant, like the world wanted to wait and watch them. Suddenly, Harry realised that the both of them, the power of their love, could really make mountains move, oceans part and the skies fall. Their love was the beginning of time, right in this moment was when they became alive, their life started now – together. It was like a dance, they moved together as one. Their love was endless, their love was immortal and their love was eternal._

_That night Draco realized that that was what he needed to heal - love. He'd had a hole in his chest for such a long time and he didn't let anyone in. Harry took care of him that night and kissed his tears when they escaped his eyes and drifted down his cheeks. Draco told Harry that he loved him over and over and whispered it like a prayer. When he touched him the way he did, he knew he was eternally his.  
><em> 

_They could heal, they knew that now. Draco never thought he could let go of all those things he had witnessed and the pain he had felt. But he had found love, and he would nurture it. That night was something that they would treasure with them forever. Neither Harry nor Draco was going anywhere and they would never leave each other now that they had found one another. They didn't care that what they felt for each other was something only partially accepted, what they had was real and it was sincere and powerful. They told each other that that was all that mattered. They made love twice that night and when they came they called out each other's names. And what they said they would never forget, what they said made them erupt, their love was breaking all the rules, and when they were connected, then they truly knew how great their love was and that they loved each other to the depths of their very souls… _

"_I love you…"_

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

They left the Shrieking Shack together and stepped into the cold fluffy snow. They walked through the forest towards the castle. Just as they were at the forest's edge where they were still concealed by the tree trunks Harry stopped. He hugged Draco from behind and whispered, "Look."

"What am I looking at?" Draco asked, not understand. All he saw were the trees, the castle, the sky and the landscape.

"Life," Harry told him "it moves pretty fast. If we don't stop and look around once in a while we could miss it."

"Sometimes I find it difficult to attain the time to look around," Draco said.

"There's time for everything," Harry said to him, he then reconsidered this and added "except homework."

Draco smirked. "Except homework," he agreed. He started to think and immediately regretted it as his thoughts formed words that he would have rather not pondered on at the present. "What do you think lies ahead?"

"For us?"

"In general," Draco shrugged.

"What lies beyond us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us," Harry said.

"Who said that?"

"Some Minister of Magic in the sixteenth century," Harry smiled. Hermione had basically branded that quote in his head for their History of Magic test. "I think that every day we do something that brings a closer to a better tomorrow. Life is important and I don't want to waste it living someone else's life; time's too limited. One of my goals has always been to be happy." He squeezed Draco's hand.

"Happiness isn't a goal," Draco told him "it is a by-product."

"So then I suppose my achieving my dreams will bring me happiness," Harry decided.

"Is this the part where I tell you to follow your dreams?" Draco kissed his ear.

"No," Harry said "this is the part where you tell me to chase them."

"You'll soar to them," Draco whispered.

"Like a bird?"

"Like a bird," Draco nodded.

"You know, I've always wondered why the birds choose to stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere in the world." Harry told Draco, he then added quietly, "Then I ask myself the same question."

Harry took Draco's hands in his and stretched his arms out wide so that if they weren't on the ground they could have been flying. "If you don't like how things are, change them." Harry said simply. He gestured with his head to the three next to them, "You're not a tree."

Draco smiled. "I'm much prettier."

"Yes," Harry grinned "yes you are." He lowered their arms and pecked Draco on the lips lightly. "Sometimes, the questions are complicated but the answers are simple."

"And what's the answer?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

They began to walk towards the castle. "Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself." Draco pressed his cold fingers up to Harry's cheek "I have had the time of my life creating myself with you."

"And can I say what an amazing creation you are," Harry smiled.

"If you put your heart, mind and soul into everything, you will create something amazing," Draco said honestly.

"See," Harry said "change your thoughts and you can change your world."

"Accomplishments start with the decision to try I guess," he looked at Harry "and I will try. I'll try for us, just not yet."

"I know," Harry said "it's a steep hill and we've got to go at a slow pace at first."

Draco smiled. "What?" Harry asked.

"The good advice I always hated," Draco shrugged as he thought back to those times "but looking back it made me stronger – it made me who I am. And as I said before," he smiled at Harry "you've helped to make me who I am."

Harry felt touched. "So you hate my advice?" he asked teasingly.

"Sometimes," Draco replied in the same humorous tone. Harry gave him a playful push but they ended up falling on top of each other in the snow. They began laughing. Harry brushed the snow off Draco's blonde hair. Draco caught his hand, bringing it down to cup his cheek. Harry leaned in and they met halfway in a kiss.

Harry walked back to Gryffindor with a glowing feeling inside of him. He jumped in surprise as the loud shouting jolted him out of his cloud.

"Screw you!"

"Well I'm _trying_ to but _you_ won't let me!"

"Well you know what?" Katie yelled.

"What?" Parvati yelled back.

"For a lesbian you're acting like a pretty big dick," Katie shouted. With that Parvati stormed off down the corridor. Katie turned around with teary eyes and her hand slapped over her mouth when she realised that Harry had been standing right there.

"I –" Harry started to say but Katie cut him off.

"Harry, not even you can pretend you didn't see anything this time." She said with a constricted voice.

"You okay?" Harry asked her gently.

"Yeah I guess so," she replied, obviously lying. "I just…" she couldn't finish as she began crying. Harry and Katie knew all about going with gut feelings as they both played Quidditch. So Harry followed his instincts and stepped in hugged Katie. She cried into his shoulder. It was odd hugging someone with long dark hair, Harry thought.

"Sorry," Katie sniffed as she pulled back, wiping her eyes. "I'm not usually this sappy."

"Don't worry about it," Harry smiled kindly "if you wanted to talk I'd be happy to unlock the broom shed and we could fly for a bit?"

"Thanks," Katie said "but its Valentine's Day and you don't need to be worrying about my relationship issues."

"If you're sure?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Hiding makes it harder doesn't it?" Harry asked softly.

"Yeah," Katie said quietly "and so does–" she stopped "it doesn't even matter anyway. Thanks Harry, you're a great friend." She leaned in and gave him a hug.

"Katie Bell?" a shocked voice said from behind them. Harry turned around and saw Ron and Hermione standing there. "Katie Bell is the girl you've been seeing?"

"What? No!" Katie and Harry said at the same time.

"But why...how...then…I don't understand," Ron stuttered confusedly.

"I'm not going out with Harry," Katie said "I'm seeing someone else." she turned to Harry, "I'll see you later Harry. Bye." She said to Ron and Hermione.

"See you," Harry said with a sympathetic smile. Katie walked into Gryffindor no doubt to her dorm.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"– mad, absurd, ludicrous, crazy, preposterous, ridiculous, insane!" they all walked through the underground passage to Hogsmeade "Somebody tell her she is insane!"

Draco had just about had it. "Granger, do us all a favour and shut up." He snapped.

"She is insane!" Hermione repeated. "We are all sneaking out of the castle on a day where teachers are on the prowl and we're mostly likely all going to get caught!"

"'Teachers are on the prowl'," Blaise snorted "do you listen to yourself Granger?"

"She must because no one else does," Draco sneered.

Hermione ignored them. Turning her focus back to Pansy she exclaimed, "Do you not know that there are school rules?"

"I do actually," Pansy replied to Hermione's surprise "a smart person knows all the rules so she can break them wisely." Draco and Blaise laughed, the rest of the group couldn't help chuckling along too. "Granger let me tell you what my aunt Felicia always tells me – _Well behaved woman hardly ever make history._"

"Merlin, I go to school with a future criminal," Hermione moaned. Pansy laughed.

As they turned down the tunnel they passed Honeydukes and reached the exit. "Everyone follow me, don't make a sound, do not get yourselves scene. If anyone gets caught tonight they were here alone, if you're going to snitch then beat it now." Pansy warned them all. Nobody left so she climbed outside first. Blaise, Draco, Harry, Hermione, Ron, Dean, Ginny, Neville, Luna, Padma, Hannah, Parvati and Lavender all followed her.

They all walked up to The Three Broomsticks. Hermione gasped. "Pansy this is too far, we'll get caught if we go in there!"

"Granger look at me, I'm not a gallivanting Gryffindor, an unexciting Ravenclaw or a brainless Hufflepuff – I'm a Slytherin. I know what I'm doing; it's part of being a snake." She turned around and knocked on the door. A witch with dirty blonde hair opened the door. "Hi Aunt Felicia," Pansy beamed.

Hermione's mouth dropped open. "Aunt Felicia works here. Unfortunately the manager came down with some dire illness, suddenly ill and all. So Felicia will be taking care of this place tonight. We have it all to ourselves." Pansy grinned at everyone's astonished faces. Hermione did not like the way Pansy's voice had a sly note to it when she mentioned the manager becoming 'suddenly ill'. Aunt Felicia looked a few years older than seventeen year old Pansy. Hermione didn't like that either.

They were all seated at a long table. On one side there was Harry, Hanna, Ginny, Dean, Lavender, Padma and Parvati. On the other side was Draco, Blaise, Pansy, Hermione, Ron, Neville and Luna. Ron had made sure to sit across from his sister so he could keep an eye on Dean. Harry and Draco sat across from each other also. The doors to the Three Broomsticks were locked.

"Where's Katie?" Padma whispered into her sister's ear.

Parvati's face hardened. "We had a fight," she said bluntly.

Padma sighed. "What did you do?"

Parvati's head snapped to her right and she scowled. "Why am _I_ the one who's done something?"

"So _she_ started it did she?" Padma questioned sceptically with raised eyebrows, she knew that it would have been her sister.

"No, it was me." Parvati said reluctantly. Padma rolled her eyes.

"What did you do?" Padma asked again.

"Well I…want to…and she doesn't," Parvati said awkwardly. Padma nodded calmly, she was determined to keep her personal emotions in check for her sister's sake. She simply responded how she would have.

"Do I even need to say anything?" Padma sighed. "You know that you've done the wrong thing, you know what the right thing to do is and you know how to fix it. Why do you need someone else to tell you that when you already know it?"

"You sound like mum," Parvati pointed out.

"And you act like dad," Padma retorted but she couldn't help but smile.

"I guess you're right."

"Of course I am," Padma said teasingly as Parvati rested her head on her twin's shoulder.

On the other end of the table Harry looked across with a repulsed expression. "Are they serious?" he asked Draco with a grimace. Pansy and Blaise were feeding each other. Harry thought it couldn't have gotten any worse but he was proved wrong when they gave each other chocolate with their moves.

Draco looked at Harry. "I refuse to look," he said in an appalled voice looking sickened.

Harry looked at Ron and Hermione. "If you two ever do that," he gestured to Pansy and Blaise. He needn't finish that sentence because Ron and Hermione looked liked they agreed with him.

Pansy detached her lips from Blaise. "You two are just jealous," she said in an irritating smug voice.

"About what?" Draco asked disgusted "that I don't look like that when I snog? I'm fine the way I am thank you."

"Well I wouldn't know would I? Where is she? I _told_ you to bring her. I _told_ you I wanted to meet her tonight. You spent half the day with her and how much time have I spent with her? That's right, none. Draco you are so mean to me, what have I ever done to you? I've been a good friend haven't I? I've done assignments with you, I've made you laugh, I've even had sex with you. Why can't you give me this satisfaction? Why are you doing this to me? Why–" Pansy's mouth was covered by Draco's hand.

"Do you _ever_ stop talking?" Draco asked her. "Go stick your tongue back inside of Blaise." He looked over a Blaise who was ready to receive, "And Blaise close your mouth before I vomit."

Further down the table Ginny still hadn't forgotten that Harry had beaten her in 'having sex in the most exciting places'. She walked her fingers over Dean's thigh and they stopped on his–

Dean chocked on the vegetables he was eating. He reached for his glass of Butterbeer.

"Dean are you okay?" Hermione asked looking concerned.

Dean swallowed and tried to concentrate. "I'm fine," he assured her "I just swallowed too early."

"You really ought to be more careful," Ginny told him feigning worry. She blinked innocently. Dean gulped, he didn't stand a chance. Harry's eyes from Dean to Ginny and then back between them again. A grin crept up on his face as he realised what she was doing…and he thought it was a great idea. As Dean chewed his food painfully slow to avoid choking in case Ginny decided to apply extra pressure where were fingers, Harry slipped one of his shoes off and outstretched his foot across the table so that it prodded in between Draco's leg.

Draco's legs snapped together reflexively. His eyes widened as he looked up at Harry. Harry's face was calm and he raised his eyebrows questioningly as if he had no idea what was going on. The Slytherin didn't know much else in that moment other than how unbelievably incredible his boyfriend was. His food was unsurprisingly unappealing when compared to what Harry was doing to him.

"Are you going to finish your food?" Pansy asked Draco.

Draco muttered something about being on a special diet. Pansy gave him a sceptical look.

"You feeling okay Dray?" she asked him.

"I've just got a headache is all," he mumbled "I'm fine honestly…sitting across from these Gryffindors makes me want to explode on the inside."

Harry had great trouble with containing his grin.

"I know what you mean," Pansy nodded "have some water."

"Seventy five percent of headaches are caused by dehydration," Hermione added.

"Not now Granger," Draco complained "your voice makes my head throb."

With his foot Harry made sure Draco's head wasn't the only thing that was throbbing. Harry felt Draco's cock harden under his foot and in truth Harry was loving it. Draco wriggled forward on his chair so that if anyone looked down they wouldn't see Harry's foot pushing on Draco's erection. Harry moved his foot applying pressure on Draco's hardness. He squirmed his toes. Harry rubbed his foot vigorously. He started with a slow pace at first but seeing Draco's looks of pleading he sped up. This made Draco bury his head in his hands. He re-emerged looking flushed. To avoid detection Harry looked elsewhere. Dean and Draco were two complete opposites and Harry believed that right now would be the only time they would both look remotely similar. Their expressions were identical. Harry did _not_ want to know what Ginny was doing right now. A grin spread on his face – if only Ron knew what his sister was doing. He realised how similar he and Ginny were, perhaps somewhere in another life they could have worked if not for his immense love for Draco and of course for the fact that he was indeed gay.

His attention went back to Draco whose head was back and he was looking at the ceiling. He was being incredibly careless; Harry didn't recall people throwing their heads back when they had headaches. Harry's foot massage Draco's rock hard cock. Draco skilfully moved his hips without it showing from his upper body. Harry stroked his making the blonde bite down on his lip and look away. Suddenly Draco shot him a look and Harry immediately stopped and dropped his foot.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Draco said. Pansy turned to him looking alarmed. In one fluid movement Draco stood up, turned away from the table and walked off to the bathroom with haste. Harry was actually quite impressed, thought he expected nothing less of the Slytherin.

Draco quickly walked through the bathroom door and into a cubicle shutting the door behind him in case Blaise decided to come in and check on him via Pansy's instructions. He unzipped his pants, setting his pulsating cock free. He put his left hand up against the wall to lean on and reached down with his right hand to grab his erection. He ran his thumb over the head and then he squeezed the base, pumping his hand along his shaft. He was oozing precum. His mind raced back to all the memories, all the walls Harry had pushed his up against, all the times he had thrust himself inside of Harry and of course when the impish Gryffindor had rubbed his toes on his jean clad cock. He began to then stroke it slowly as he imagined the time in the empty potions classroom and how amazing it had felt to fuck Harry for the first time. Draco then began stroking faster and quicker, he bit his lip to keep himself from moaning. He remembered Harry's lips moving up and down his cock, licking he underside of his head whilst massaging his balls. Draco's thoughts shifted to the time in the bathroom and how remarkable Harry had sounded when he had taken control.

Draco felt his balls tighten and his cock twitch. He readied himself for the release that would soon course through him. Still biting down on his bottom lip, his left hand on the wall clenched into a fist as he felt his orgasm rip through his body.

"I'm so glad you we're having a panic attack over my health," Draco said wryly as he sat back down at the table. Pansy, who was occupied with Blaise's lips, looked up at Draco.

To anyone who didn't know what he was truly up to, Draco actually looked unwell. His face had a slight flush and he looked tired. He looked, in Harry's opinion, exactly the way he did after Harry had had his way with him. It made Harry smirk when he thought of what he could do to the Slytherin.

"In case you were wondering I feel much better," Draco said to her. For good measure Draco crossed his legs. Harry didn't miss this and he couldn't hold back a laugh.

"Something funny Potter?" Draco asked coldly with a raised eyebrow.

"No," Harry shook his head, still grinning.

"I'm going to the bathroom," Dean said. He got up and walked upstairs. Draco frowned, he had just been to the bathroom and it was on the ground level, upstairs were the guests' rooms. He didn't know how or when, but he would get his revenge on Harry. The thought made him grin internally as he counted the ways to punish the Gryffindor for his mischievous behaviour.

"…what about you Harry?" Ron asked.

Harry's looked up at the mention of his name. "Sorry?"

"How would you describe your relationship?" Hermione asked him.

"Oh," Harry was taken by surprise. He wasn't the philosophical one that was an expert with words – that was Draco. "Well," he reminded himself not to look at Draco and give them away as he knew that when he thought his eyes wandered "we sort of find parts in each other that neither of us knew existed. We find emotions that we never thought we'd find. More or less I realised that whatever souls are made out of ours are the same."

Truer words had never been spoken in Draco's opinion. They _did_ discover parts of themselves, they _did _discover emotions. Their souls _did_ fit each other so well, as if they _were_ in fact made the same. It was possibly the deepest and most reflective thing Harry had ever said about them. It made Draco's heart swell with love and pride and joy.

"Harry that's beautiful," Ginny said placing her hand over her heart. She got up off her chair, "Just going to the loo." She walked off and went up the stairs to the second floor.

"Tell me that this _hasn't_ been a good night Granger," Pansy teased.

Hermione had her hand entwined with Ron's. "It _has_," she said reluctantly "reckless and dangerous, but still good. Pansy how do you constantly live so rashly?"

"Granger," Pansy sighed "life is a big canvas – throw all the paint on it you can."

"I think Hermione prefers to paint with a brush," Luna said reflectively.

Pansy snorted, "And there lies your problem."

"I don't think that is a bad thing," Luna disagreed "you have to be unique, and different, and shine in your own way. She will go far."

Hermione blushed. "Thank you Luna," she said with a small smile. Ron squeezed her hand.

"And how do you figure that?" Pansy asked with a bit of a scoff in her voice.

"The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go." Luna said happily.

Pansy raised her eyebrow and looked at Blaise. "Loonyville," she murmured to Blaise who snorted in response. Hermione beamed at Luna. Harry decided that a stronger friendship could blossom between them.

"Draco?" Pansy asked sweetly "what about you?"

"What about me?" Draco asked.

"How would you describe your relationship?"

"No," Draco told her.

Pansy glared at him. "Draco Malfoy if you don't spit it out I'll do what I did in third year and that wasn't pleasant," she warned him.

What happened in third year was obviously enough to persuade Draco to talk. He sighed, "We always strive after what is forbidden, and desire things that are refused us."

"You're fucking a Mudblood?" Pansy exclaimed. Hermione frowned.

"No!" Draco cried in disgust.

"You're fucking a Hufflepuff?" Pansy exclaimed again.

"No!" Draco said to her.

"You're fucking a teacher?" Pansy asked with wide eyes. Hannah flushed and looked witheringly at Pansy.

"You're fucking not normal!" Draco exclaimed.

Hermione turned to Parvati, "What about y–"

"Hang on," Ron cut across; he looked around and frowned "where are Ginny and Dean?"

Padma, true to her house, hadn't missed anything. "Dean went to the bathroom and so did Ginny," she informed them "interesting thought how they both went upstairs however the bathroom is on the other side of the room."

Everyone went quite as they realised. Everyone turned to Ron to see his reaction. Ron's mouth was opening and closing wordlessly like a stunned fish. His face was rapidly changing to scarlet.

"That's and instant twenty points," Harry grinned.

"You're still in front if my memory is correct," Hermione told him. Ron seemed to snap out of his state.

"Merlin's pants! Are you two serious?" Ron exclaimed "My sister is upstairs…doing _stuff_ with her boyfriend and you two are working out _scores_?"

"Ron's right," Pansy said immediately taking everyone by surprise. She grabbed Blaise by the arm and stood up, "We'll go and break it up." Still holding on to Blaise's arm she marched them both upstairs. Draco groaned.

"If you're hoping they'll send Weaslette and boyfriend down," Draco said to Ron in a drawling tone "the only thing they'll be sending down is the sound of their activities."

Ron paled.

As dinner came to an end everyone left and went back to the castle in discretion. Hermione had almost had a panic attack when Professor Snape had come round a corner, heading in their direction. Everyone had waved their hands around madly and sprinted off to hide in the nearest classroom chanting _shit! Shit! Shit!_ Everyone made sure that everyone else headed back to their common rooms safely without detection.

Harry and Draco knew that the Room of Requirement was bound to be occupied as it was Valentine's Day therefore they met in the library. The library was dark and quiet. They had gone there with the invisibility cloak and charmed the library door so that no one could enter. When they were settled down the back in the large upholstered chairs they lit the fireplace with their wands to create some warmth.

Harry handed Draco his gift. It was a shiny, black, metal tube. Its ends were not sealed off. Draco took it from Harry's palm curiously. He brought it up to his eye to look through it. It was slightly shorter than the length from of the tip of his middle finger to the beginning of his wrist. The hole was wide enough comfortably fit his thumb through. He'd seen something similar before, however he couldn't quite put his finger on it as to where…

Harry explained. "It's called a Soul Whisperer."

Draco put it up to his eye squeezing the other shut and looking through the tube. The middle looked like it had liquid mirror shimmering in it but he could still see Harry through it. Draco inserted his index finger into the tube. He turned it around so that he would be able to see his finger coming out of the other side. As soon as his finger touched the cold middle he gasped. Not only did his finger not come through the other side but he felt a sharp cold feeling inside his chest. His heart felt icy. But it wasn't his _heart_…it was something…_deeper_.

Draco yanked his finger out.

Harry smiled. "You're not supposed to shove things in there," he told Draco "but I suppose it is _your_ soul to do what you please with. But do take care of it…I'm sort of in love with it." Harry ran a hand through Draco's blonde hair as he explained how it functioned. "A Soul Whisperer isn't actually a person's soul but it is a one of few ways we can get close to it. They are very, _very_ rare objects. They help you to resolve any confliction that you might be having. It picks up your conflictions sort of like a signal but only when your soul is at its most undisturbed – when you're sleeping. Then it hints at what you most subconsciously think about that certain confliction. I know that your mind is sometimes a never ending thought process so I thought that this might help."

Draco carefully placed it on the desk next to them and brought his vision back to Harry. "It's perfect," Draco told him. He then engaged in what he liked to label as a good, hard eye fuck. They lapsed into a comfortable silence that was made possible by the forest in Harry's eyes and the storm in Draco's.

"If it's okay, I'd like to show you something?" Draco asked quietly. He then added quickly, "It's not a gift, it's just something I'd like for you to see." He pulled out a crumpled piece of paper and unfolded it. "You know that I like to write," he began.

"I know that you are an amazing writer, yes," Harry said looking at Draco lovingly.

Draco smiled and continued, "At the start, when I was confused about my feelings for you I got into a habit of writing down how I felt through….well," Draco blushed "poems. There was this particular poem that I wanted to share with you, if that's okay?"

Harry was speechless. "I'd be honoured to hear it," Harry said. Draco's eyes found the words on the page and he read it out loud.

"_I fell for a boy_

_Hard and fast and thoughtlessly – _

_Unrequitedly_

_With everything to give_

_I tasted only his rare words_

_Then found myself stuck _

_Around the idea of him_

_And time brought me change_

_So into longing I grew_

_For a boy I loved so hard_

_And I hardly knew_

_He, the one, made my heart swoon_

_But to him I was unseen_

_Widowed to music"_

Harry was wordless, he was astonished. Words left him. It was so beautiful, so perfect in every way. They made him sad, they made him happy. Draco was describing how he, Harry, had felt about Draco. That's why it was so touching – it was personal.

"You have such a gift Draco," Harry told him brushing Draco's cheek with his thumb "those words…they're amazing. You have this ability to make words come to life. But I _did_ see you, I was always looking, it was hard not to. I'm so lucky."

"Lucky?" Draco asked.

Harry got up and sat on Draco's lap. The chair was big enough for the both of them so to save Draco the discomfort Harry sat on the chair and put his legs over Draco's lap.

"To be in love in every way," Harry replied. He kissed Draco on the lips. Its intention was light but Draco captured them and it turned into a lovely long kiss between them. "I'd go with you to countries I've never seen before," Harry whispered as he kissed up Draco's jaw "I'd go with you on ships that cross seas because there's magic between you and I."

"If I had to live without…" Draco closed his eyes and exhaled, Harry pecked his lips "You're original to me, you could never be replaced. There's no light when you're not with me. You enclose me with your light."

"One day we'll fly," Harry told him "I'll pick you up and fly you into the night and we'll make love that's never ever been made before."

"I used to want to sleep because it was so much better than when I was awake. Then when you came into my reality it was so much better than my dreams. Now when I dream, I dream of you, and words fail me." Draco brought Harry closer to him so that they could rest their hands on each others' chest and feel their heart beats together.

They pressed their foreheads together, caressing their faces. "Your eyes make the stars invisible you know," Harry said "I love you just the way you are."

"Once upon a time," Draco murmured "I felt like one more blow and I'd cave in. Then you came a built me strong again. You showed me how to set alight my heart."

"There was already a fire within you, I just showed you how to ignite it." Harry told him. He ran his hands down Draco's neck feeling the smooth skin. "You're so beautiful to me."

Draco kissed him hungrily. He didn't know where it came from. He just had to prove to himself that Harry was there with him, prove to himself that it wasn't some dream, prove to himself that this fantasy was a part of reality. Draco held onto the Gryffindor tightly as if he were going to slip away.

Harry pulled away for air. "Where did that come from?" he asked.

"I want this breath, this chance," Draco told him "just in case there's just one left."

"Look at me," Harry whispered. He brushed a strand of Draco's blonde hair behind the Slytherin's ear. Draco's eyes looked deeply into Harry's. "I'm not going anywhere," he promised.

Draco would break his love's promise to him. The knowledge of that gnawed on him. He only had a few short months left before time would trickle out. He wanted to stay this way forever – Harry in his arms, their love bulletproof, promises of declared love. He knew, as much as he tried to forget, he knew. He knew that something would have to give way, there would be sacrifices made. He wished that his task would disappear; he wished that the weight of it would vanish. As much as he tried to push it from his mind it was still there, he was unable to be liberated of it for even a short time as its blackness crept up on him without warning at anytime.

"I love you," Draco said softly.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Draco tossed and turned. Finally he woke up. His head hurt legitimately now. Quietly, expertly, he peeled the covers off him and walked silently out of his door. He briskly left Slytherin and was welcomed by a rush of cold air as he stepped into the corridor. It was early morning, still early enough for everything and everyone to be sound asleep. His hand slowly reached into his pyjama pocket and he pulled out a long metal tube – the Soul Whisperer. He brought it up to his ear. He heard an echo of a voice, like a vibration.

The voice was silvery. It was spine-chillingly familiar though he had never heard it before in his life. The voice made him feel unjudged and accepted. It made feel safe. He felt like he had heard it before, listened to it before, talked to it before. He felt like the voice knew all of his secrets. He had expected it to sound like smoke; faint and distant. However this voice was the opposite; it was real and imperative. He liked the voice, he understood its sound. He felt like perhaps if it weren't him they would have gotten along in another life maybe. That was when Draco realised just that – the voice was _him_. His subconscious, his inner voice, his conscience. It knew him, it knew his morals and his ethics, every thought and feeling he'd ever had, it knew all of his secrets and memories, it knew him, it knew him better than he knew himself. All this, and the voice hadn't even spoken a true word yet. He was suddenly desperate to know the thoughts that he didn't know that he had been having. He was suddenly desperate to know his conflictions, suddenly desperate to know the words that he knew but didn't. Then he heard the clear voice, the silvery voice, the voice from the liquid mirror.

"_If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, and I'll stay there forever."_

**Thank you all for reading **

**Reviews are much appreciated **

**Alli97nomel xxx**


	14. The Crushing Realisation

**A/N: I apologise for the delays in my chapter, I've started school and am literally drowning in homework and assignments and tests and projects. I'm writing this and my other story (School Student's Saviour) and I am finding it really hard to keep up. I'll try my best to get this all done because I love you all **

**Firstly, I've been getting a few comments on plagiarism. Yes, I do use many quotes, lyrics ect in Brave Ambition as I am inspired by so many words. My intention is not to plagiarize. I won't be publishing this as a legal document so I don't really see it as plagiarism however when I finish this story in June I will write out my song list and reference my quotes. I haven't really kept track of my quotes but I'll try and find some and start from now. **

**On that note I've had a few ask when this will finish. It will finish late June. Harry Potter wise when will it finish – I can't say without giving too much away. But what I can say is that I am planning a sequel for this story. I will try to start it in July/August. **

**Also, Lostsouloftheunderworld – was on your profile and almost burst into joyful tears as I saw that you had used some of my lines in describing your feelings against homophobia, I don't think I've ever felt so honoured in my life, that totally beat getting class captain this year hands down. ILY. **

**Question: do any males read this story? Just curious **

CHAPTER 14 – THE CRUSHING REALISATION

It was nearing the end of February. This was true. Draco knew this. However, just because he knew this didn't mean that he chose to accept it. Life suddenly became about numbers, lengths, seconds. To keep the screaming contained safely inside of him where it could harm no one but himself he decided to start with the simple things. He ran through them in his head.

_My name is Draco Malfoy. I am seventeen years old. I am a Slytherin. I love Harry Potter. I have been chosen to bring Harry Potter to his death. I attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I have four and half months until I finish school. I have four and a half months to bring Harry Potter to his death. This could possibly be my downfall. It could possibly be his. I will not let it be his. I am scared. I don't know what to do. I must do this on my own. I don't have much time left._

Once these thoughts were set in concrete he began with the more simple things.

_I can't concentrate at times. I don't know how much Harry has noticed, he has noticed quite a bit but not enough to complete the puzzle. I'm scared how he will react when I tell him. I'll have to eventually tell him so that he can go into hiding. I can't go into hiding with him because they will track us by my Dark Mark. I am my own worst enemy because I refuse to get help; this is my mission and mine alone. I _can_ protect Harry, I have to. I can't lose Harry – if I lose him I lose myself. The letter._

The letter.

This was Draco's first mistake today. He shouldn't have opened it. Opening it was a mistake. He hadn't opened all the others so why did he open this one? He wouldn't accept that curiosity had gotten the better of him because he was a Malfoy and controlling himself was what he did best. He had ignored all the other letters from his father, so why was this one different? Again, he didn't know why. Lucius had been sending him letters twice a week since after the Christmas holidays when Draco had told him that what he was planning was none of his father's business. The truth was he didn't have a plan. Creating a plan would mean that he had accepted his sentence and Draco would not accept that. He knew that hope was a petty thing that Gryffindors held close to them. A Slytherin couldn't afford hope. No, a Slytherin relied solely on facts and from there made a decision based on the statistics. Once again, he didn't know what had gotten into him. He supposed that he had changed as a person, but these impulsive decisions and ridiculous feelings were more than that. For the fourth time today, he didn't know why. It was frustrating as much as it was angering.

He looked at the letter, discarded on the other side of his bed. He remembered how his fingers had touched the envelope reverently. He had contemplated it. And then snapped. He had ripped the envelope off hastily, tearing it. Hearing the paper rip was surprisingly satisfying. He had pulled the letter out with greedy hands and his eyes ran over the words hungrily. It was as if he was starved and only those words could curb fulfill his hunger. Deep down Draco knew what they would say but he had chosen not to believe it and that stupid mistake was what left him weak, vulnerable and unstable. Back to square one. Perhaps he had thought that his father's persistence meant that he was desperately trying to tell his son that the task had been called off, that everything could go back to normal, that he could have his happily ever after. Hope – a stupid petty Gryffindor emotion. A stupid, petty, painful Gryffindor emotion. It only caused disappointment and hurt and an awful ache in the pit of his stomach.

Despite telling himself that rereading the letter would not make him feel any better but in fact worse he reached over and snatched the parchment up and read the words that acted like acid.

_Draco,_

_I am writing to you to discuss your progress with the task the Dark Lord has given you. My disappointment in you is ever growing as you continue to ignore and disregard my letters. Your actions are both immature and futile. Know this, you will co-operate with me. Your mother is worried you're your safety. We both stress to you that your lack of communication to us is a risk to your life. The Dark Lord becomes more impatient with the thin thread of information you have provided us with in regard to how you care carrying out your task. I trust that you know that you are not the only one __in danger __in danger as this involves your mother and me, as you are our responsibility. I no longer request full knowledge of your plans, I demand it. As your father you are to respect me and obey me. You have failed to comply with both of these in the past few months. _

_Your behaviour at Christmas, as you are well aware, was appalling and insulting. I need not discuss your actions with you as I am sure you know just how inappropriate and out of line you have been. I am furious with you. I acknowledge the fact that you are seventeen however, whilst you are still my son and still living at the Manor you are still financially supported by me and you will obey me. You will show me the respect I deserve as your father. Therefore you will reply to my requests without questioning me. I warn you not to question my authority as you have no right to and frankly you are in no position to. Know that if you fail to do this an appropriate punishment will be issued. _

_It angers me that you are not taking this seriously and makes no mistake, this is gravely serious. It is vital that you share your plans and progress with your mother and me and the Dark Lord. As I mentioned previously, it is vital to your life, also to our lives. I have come to the conclusion that your selfish actions are due to you being under influences other than mine. You should only be answering to me. Your loyalties lie with the Dark Lord and you will do well to remember that, not only to remember it but to pledge it and recite it every day. I would have believed that the Mark on your arm would be enough of a symbol of your devotion but your recent behaviour suggests otherwise. I am ashamed and disgusted in you. _

_As I conclude I shall say this one last time: I demand that you reveal your plans, purposes and progress with the task you have been given to me. This shall be done immediately. You have until the term holidays to fulfil this or you will not return to Hogwarts because there will not be anyone to return to anywhere. _

There was no signing with his love, he did not even write his name. It was as if Lucius Malfoy did not want his name in a letter that was so disgraceful. Draco was not expecting a greeting or anything of the sort however he included it in the negatives in this letter because was another point against his father. Lucius spoke of his fury, his disappointment, his shame, his anger. Draco could see beyond the cold words there were in fact traces of desperation. He wondered what all of the other letters his father had sent him said and then he realised that he would never know as they were ashes that slept in the Slytherin fireplace. They were nothing. Draco liked that; to think of his father's words as nothing. Maybe he should begin to do that. _I am something, you are nothing_, he thought Harry would like him thinking that.

It was rather cruel, Draco thought, to use his mother as a guilt trip. _You mother is worried for your safety_. His mother _was_ worried, Draco knew this. Lucius didn't however and it made Draco angry that his father had included that sentence to make him feel bad even though he knew that that conversation between his parents had never actually happened.

His father requested him, no, his father _demanded_ him report all of his _plans, purposes and progress_. What Lucius didn't know that there was in fact nothing to report. Draco had nothing. _I am nothing and you are nothing_, Draco rephrased the sentence but he didn't like lowering himself to his father's level so he rephrased it again, _I am nothing and you are less than nothing._ There, that was better.

He was tempted to reply back, _no one got respect without earning it_ but he thought better of it. Draco ignored the jibe about Christmas, he wasn't sorry about it. If truth be told If truth be told he would do it all over again if time reversed itself.

There were threats in the letter too. Plain and obvious. Lucius had made no attempt to make them subtle. They were sharp, potentially dangerous. His father was threatening him with monetary matters. It was typical of him. Money and status mattered more to Lucius Malfoy than his own blood – if it wasn't deadly serious it would be funny. Draco wondered if he really was Lucius' son. Biologically yes, but Draco had unconsciously accepted he had no father a long time ago. He was proud that he could think that aloud to himself, even a small step was better than no step at all.

A long time ago a threat such as, _if you fail to do this an appropriate punishment will be issued_. But that was a long time ago. He went back to the basic Slytherin thing to do – look at the facts. Now he had a wand he could use, a head full of spells and a mended mind to deliver deliver them. He wasn't going back to the Manor. He wouldn't go for the Easter holidays and once he finished school he would get his mother to send him his possessions and he would go and live with Har–

Draco stopped that thought just in time before it potentially broke him. He couldn't think that far ahead in the future because his future was so uncertain. He couldn't allow himself to imagine or fantasize about what it could be like because that would imply hope. Hope was like quicksand to Draco; once you get in you can't get out. He banished the thoughts from his mind. He moved on.

Draco had ended his loyalty and commitment to the Dark Lord a long time ago. Harry had found him and fixed him whilst the Dark Lord found him and tore him apart even more. If Draco had one thing it was common sense and it didn't take Merlin's book to figure out which option was better. It was more than that though; he loved Harry with all of his heart. He hated the Dark Lord and despised him from trying to take that away from him no matter that it was unintentional. He hated the Mark on his arm. It made him feel ugly and dirty. Nothing would take it off. He had tried everything: scrubbing it off, using salves and concoctions, using spells, running a blade across it…

Harry hated it that he did that. But he had had to try. He was so desperate to take it off, so desperate to be rid of all of it. If the Mark was gone he was one step closer to being free. That's why he had tried to slash it off. He remembered the searing pain when the sharp metal dug into his flesh making his scarlet blood trickle down his arm. It had hurt but knowing that it would be there forever hurt even more.

"_Stop it!" Harry screamed._

"_No," Draco yelled back "don't you see? It has to come off. I hate it! I hate Him! I hate me for having it! It has to come off! Don't you see that is must come off?"_

"_Draco stop it!" Harry repeated in a frantic voice. His eyes were frenzied as he watched the blonde mar his arm. "Stop! Stop! It's a part of you, you ca– Stop it! Put it down! Stop cutting yourself! Draco stop it! Stop!"_

"_No!" There were now tears welling up in his eyes, partly because of the pain and partly because he was starting to realise that it wasn't going to come off. "It's repulsive and horrible and filthy and sickening!"_

"_But it's a part of you!" Harry just wanted him to stop. To put the blade down and see reason. _

"_Then how do you love me?" Draco shouted at him._

"_Because I love every part of you!" Harry rushed forward and snatched the blade out of Draco's hand and he was surprised to find it slipped out without a fight. Draco didn't have the strength, his hands trembled. "The things I love the most about you are the things that you hate most about yourself. I love you just the way you are, all of you the way you are. Don't change a part of yourself because you hate it; embrace it so that it makes you stronger."_

Yet the part that hurt the most about the letter shouldn't have. Draco knew better than to let these things get to him, he really did. But today was a day where all those mental walls he put in place so long ago that he had been strengthening for such a long time seemed to momentarily vanish. The part that hurt the most that shouldn't have was that his father was more concerned about his life than his own son's. Really, _he_ was the one acting selfish. Maybe this upset Draco so much because it was violating the most basic and fundamental morals and principles of life – a parent always puts their child's life before their own. Knowing that this did upset him calmed him somewhat because knowing that he felt this reassured him that he was normal. On the other hand though, knowing that it upset him brought him the knowledge that his father had, yet again, gotten to him. He hated knowing that; that Lucius had gotten to him. It infuriated him because no matter how hard he tried, how much he avoided, how much he practised his responses or actions, Lucius always got to him in the end. He could never win.

But that was just it – he _had_ to win this one, for Harry, for himself, for their love, for his sanity. He had to settle this. Not right this moment, but sometime soon. Now _that_ was a near future that he could fantasize about. He did the one thing that he knew for certain would enrageenrage Lucius, something that would satisfy Draco in a way that no one or nothing else could.

He stood up, burnt the letter and had no intention of replying.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry knew something was wrong, he could tell by the way Draco stirred his potion. How many times had Harry told him? _"If something's bothering you come and talk to me about it._" But no, the Slytherin insisted on keeping silent. It infuriated Harry beyond belief. Why was Draco so bloody stubborn? Harry could clearly see something was bothering him. They had been in a relationship for almost a year now. Harry contemplated asking him what was wrong but he had gotten to the point where asking tiered him. The argument 'if he wants to tell you he'll tell you' didn't apply to Draco because Harry had to push for him to talk. _Always_. Harry wondered how long Draco could go without telling him before Harry realised he was working with months instead of days. He sighed again.

"Harry would you please concentrate?" Hermione implored him.

Harry looked away from Draco and back to his potion which was shimmering a soft silver thanks to Hermione. "Harry exams are only weeks away you really ought to be focusing."

"Weeks?" Harry frowned "More like months." She fixed him a look and he said, "Sorry, you're right."

He noticed that every time something major was bothering Draco the blonde would detach himself from Harry. Maybe it was because Draco knew that Harry would make him talk about it. But Harry self-consciously wondered if _he_ was the reason Draco stayed away because _he_ was the thing that was bothering Draco. He knew that that was probably ridiculous.

After class he walked over to the Greenhouses to his next class. He was running rather late as scrawling down his homework had taken longer than he expected. Draco was walking by himself. He tended to do this when he thought. He liked to be alone when his mind was consumed with fear, it helped. Harry silently stepped into foot with him.

"Is it me?" he asked.

Draco blinked and looked to his side, surprised to find Harry there.

"Sorry?"

"Is it me?" Harry repeated.

"Is what you?"

"Every time something is bothering you, you avoid me. So I wanted to know are you avoiding me because I'm the problem?" Harry's tone was genuine.

Draco didn't think it was safe to be around Harry when he was this vulnerable, when he hadn't sorted things out. It made the risk of him slipping up much higher. Harry wasn't the problem at all, well; he was part of the problem. Draco reworded that; the problem was his. Actually it was _both_ of theirs. That raised the question of, why aren't we working on it together then? Draco ignored that. Draco was avoiding him to be honest. It surprised him what Harry said, about him avoiding Harry when something was bothering him, not because it wasn't true but because he hadn't really thought about it so bluntly.

The issue was that when something so great and draining was taking up Draco's mind he was slow to answer. And Draco's lack of response worried Harry.

"So I am the problem?" Harry asked slowly, feeling unsure.

"No," Draco said quickly.

"Then what is it?" Harry asked and then he added "let me guess, you're not going to tell me."

"I'm sorry I'm so predictable," Draco said with an edge to his voice, Harry's comment was a bit uncalled for. His expression hardened.

"Well you do bring it upon yourself." Harry told him "Is it your father?"

"No," Draco lied. He looked away from Harry and walked more quickly.

"Mature," Harry remarked at Draco's attempt to quicken his pace.

Draco stopped. He whipped around and fixed Harry with a stony expression. "What do you want?"

"To know what's upsetting you," Harry said.

"Anything else?"

Harry considered asking why Draco was avoiding him but he decided not to push his luck. "That's all for the moment."

"Well if that's it then we had better get to class before, we're already late." Draco said unfeelingly.

Harry's mouth pursed into a hard line. He shook his head in frustration. "I don't know why I bother," he snapped.

"Neither do I," Draco retorted coldly. He began walking again.

Harry's hands balled up into fists by his side and he followed Draco. "You're impossible," Harry continued "it's your own fault you're like this. You keep everything locked up inside and I'd leave you alone about it except I can't because it effects me to. I have to put up with the moods and the silence and that dark aura that surrounds you. You make problems smaller and easier to deal with by talking about them. You can't talk to your family; you don't talk to your friends. I constantly offer to listen and help but you refuse me too. So you know what? Deal with it yourself. Let me know how you go. You say you hate my continuouscontinuous pestering with getting you to talk but it's the one thing that makes you better. When you get to the point where you want to cut your skull open because you literally need to get out of your own head, you know where to find me."

With that Harry marched forward to the Greenhouse. Draco growled in frustration. All he wanted was to be left alone, was that really so much to ask? He knew that he couldn't have Harry when he wanted to and made him vanish when he didn't, he knew that Harry would always be there. And that was a good thing. Because everything Harry had just said was true. But you can't rationalise with people in the mindset that Draco was in at the present.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"We ought to do this more often," Hermione said as she sipped her tea. Ron, Hermione and Harry sat in the corner table at the Three Broomsticks.

"Do what more often?" Ron frowned.

"Just the three of us," Hermione explained "it's so rare now that it's just us three. One of us always has something on or something to do."

Harry became worried. "Am I not spending enough time with you?" he asked Ron and Hermione. In truth when he looked at the overall scheme of things he didn't spend that much time with Draco. However with homework, class, Quidditch, the game, meals and other things thrown into the equation he was concerned that he appeared to be neglecting their friendship.

"No, no," Hermione said immediately "goodness no, I was just saying that as we're getting older we, on the odd occasion, have time just to ourselves."

"I reckon you mean we need to relax more," Ron offered.

"Too right," Harry agreed with a grin. Hermione gave an 'I'm-not-to-sure-about-that' look. "So…" he felt the need to make conversation "how are you both?"

Ron laughed. "Good," he said "apart from being overrun by homework, exams and essays."

Harry smiled as he sipped his Butterbeer. "You?" he asked Hermione.

"Really well," she beamed "I suppose a bit stressed out what with exams being so close."

"Close?" Ron's eyes widened "How is months close?"

"Honestly," she rolled her eyes at the boys' lack of prioritising. "What about you Harry?"

His thoughts went to Draco straight away. They then went to many other different things – good, bad, stressful, happy. "Not bad," he said "I think I'm coming down with a cold though." His nose was blocking up slightly and he knew it would only worsen as the day progressed.

"Then shouldn't you be having a tea rather than a butterbeer?" Hermione asked him, in a very teacher voice.

"No," Harry and Ron both scoffed at the same time. Hermione frowned.

"Still want to spend more time with the both of us?" Ron teased.

Her frown vanished and was replaced by an affectionate smile, it was almost motherly. "Of course I do," she replied.

Back in Slytherin Draco could almost see the dark aura that Harry had been talking about. He was annoyed because every thought he had was followed by Harry's voice telling him that sooner or later he would be desperate to escape his own head.

He sat himself down at told himself that he just needed to do this. It wasn't hard – just do it. Draco Malfoy had finally decided to brainstorm possibilities. He wasn't pleased about it but it had to be done, otherwise he wouldn't cope in the days that were ahead.

He had a quill in his hand and a piece of parchment in front of him. He had made up his mind to burn it after he had memorised it. This wouldn't take long because it was the only thing occupying his mind at the moment. He just wrote what came to mind and chose to think about them after.

Tell Harry

Tell Dumbledore and get protection from the Order

Escape with Harry

Make a house elf drink Polyjuice and Imperise them to act as Harry therefore being a decoy

Deny to comply with the task

Change sides

Bring Harry to the Dark Lord along with the Order

It was a decent list that he could add to if something better came up. He then went through them one by one. Number one, tell Harry. This option applied to all the other six. It seemed it was unavoidable. He supposed that only timing really mattered. He became frustrated and decided to start from the bottom.

Number seven; bring Harry to the dark lord along with the Order. There was no guarantee that Harry, Dumbledore or any of the Order could kill the Dark Lord in that encounter and that meant that Draco would be exposed and classified as a traitor. This option also did not guarantee that either he or Harry would escape alive.

Number six, change sides. Draco already knew which side he sided with – Harry's. However no one except Harry knew this. He knew about Harry's regular meetings with Dumbledore. Harry never told him what happened during those meetings for Draco's safety even though he was quite adept at Occlumency. Draco had agreed. Though he knew that the two of them were planning the Dark Lord's fall. He knew that, as long as he was a Death Eater he still had access to things that neither Harry nor Dumbledore did and he could provide them with information. This meant that staying allegedly loyal to the Dark Lord was the better option

Number five, deny completing the task. This could be done in two ways. Failure to complete the task. This was more than likely to involve a type of punishment that would no doubt we horrific. He decided that while he was at it he may as well work out the details in his head. Failure could result in his death, his parents' death, torture and other horrendous things such as those. The second way would be too utterly to refuse to comply with the task. This also could then be broken into two ways. The first: his immediate death. The second: questioning as to why. What would he do then? What would his answer be? Would he declare his love to Harry? That would also result in his immediate death. Either way, option five was a death sentence. He moved onto four.

Make a house elf drink Polyjuice and Imperise them to act as Harry therefore being a decoy. This was quite possible. He would have to tell Harry of course. Harry would have to go into hiding. He would be protected by the Order and Dumbledore. Draco would be seen as successful. That is if he could pull it off. Harry would risk being sighted. Everyone would believe him to be dead, shattering the hopes of the Wizarding world. Draco knew that Harry would have a mission to complete and it was be extremely difficult, almost impossible, to complete this without being seen by those who thought him to be dead. Even though, this seemed like the better option.

Number three, escape with Harry. This option Draco liked the most and this option appeared the most impossible. Draco would be tracked by his Dark Mark. His family would most likely be killed as well as him. Harry too.

With that thought he abruptly blinked out of his thinking and noticed the ache in his chest.

Harry dying.

It couldn't happen. Draco wouldn't let it happen. Draco realised that he had be thinking about his own death previously, thinking about the ways it would be easiest to die, thinking about sacrificing himself for Harry. And yet the moment he thought of Harry's death it just seemed too unbearable. The truth way Harry couldn't die because Draco couldn't live without him. He needed him. The world needed Harry. Harry was the Chosen One. Draco laughed as the thought entered his head, Harry was the only hope he could get Harry. The Gryffindor was the only chance of defeating the Dark Lord and once the Dark Lord was gone he could have Harry.

It was literally painful to imagine a life without Harry. He stopped lingering on it. He knew he would have to face the concept sooner or later, the world he lived it made it inevitable.

Number two, tell Dumbledore and get protection from the Order. If he told Harry, Harry would tell Dumbledore. Really, what could Dumbledore too? In the end Draco still had the Mark on his arm, he still had to hand in his homework at the end of the day (his homework being Harry) his life and Harry's were at risk. Their love was.

And then it hit him. The force of the thought shocked him. It took over his body – That's how it would be. Their love was at risk as were their lives. He did what a Slytherin did best, he looked at the facts.

He had a task. That would separate them. And he didn't know how to prevent it.

Now he had to cope with that.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry hadn't been to class for three days. He hadn't gone to the hospital wing because he didn't like sleeping with all the open windows because of the light. He was like a vampire, he preferred the dark. He had a fever, a cough, a blocked nose and watery eyes. His body ached. He awoke sometime before lunch to find Draco lying next to him.

"How the hell did you get in here?" Harry croaked.

"If I tell you I'll have to Obliviate you," Draco whispered. He brought his hand up to stroke Harry's hair.

"No don't," Harry moaned "I'm contagious."

"I don't care," Draco told him.

Harry turned his head and coughed. "Can I get you anything?" Draco asked.

Harry closed his eyes and sighed, "A headstone?"

Draco winced, the comment hitting a little too close to home. "You're not going to die," Draco told him firmly.

"Says you, the healthy person," Harry coughed again and winced.

"You're hot," Draco said.

"I know," Harry replied.

Draco rolled his eyes. "I meant temperature."

"I know what you meant, and I said I know. I'm freezing so I've got to be hot." Harry rolled over and reached for his glass of water. The cool water running down his dry throat hurt but if he was going to sweat this virus out he needed sweat in the first place.

"Are you sure I can't do anything?" Draco asked again, taking Harry's glass and putting it down for him.

"Thanks," Harry said cringing as he lay back down. "Actually there is, you can tell me why you're here."

Draco didn't even have the heart to try and take that offensively. "Because you're sick," he replied.

"And you hate bacteria," Harry told him, obviously not believing him.

"Viruses aren't bacteria," Draco contended. He sighed and the confessed, "You're right. I need to get out of my own head."

"I don't even have the energy to rub it in," Harry said breathlessly. Draco smiled. The blonde conjured up a cold, damp to place across Harry's forehead and then resumed stoking the Gryffindor's hair. "Are you okay?"

"_You're_ asking _me_ if _I'm_ okay?" Draco asked sceptically "Shouldn't it be the other way around?"

"Maybe," Harry said with a shrug in his voice "but it's my job."

"You're as sick as a slug and you're still a persistent son of a bitch," Draco shook his head but smiled none the less.

"You expected anything less?" Harry tried his best to tease in his sickly state. The energy used only made his cheeks flush even more.

"Of course not," Draco kissed the top of Harry's hand.

"Are you okay?" Harry repeated his eyes still closed.

Draco was glad Harry couldn't see him, it would have made everything a lot harder. "No," Draco whispered.

Harry didn't say anything. Draco began to worry if he was still breathing but then Harry said, "Have you tried the Soul Whisper?"

"I can't."

A little crease formed in between Harry's eyebrows, "Why not?"

"Because I haven't been sleeping," Draco replied honestly.

"You need to sleep Draco, it's not good."

"Yes, I know," he sighed. He wriggled closer to Harry ignoring the raven's attempts to remind him that he was in fact sick. Harry didn't know what was going on inside Draco's mind, Draco was thankful for that.

_I have four months with you_, Draco thought. _There's not enough time. We were supposed to grow old together. We were supposed to get married. We would have had a family. I haven't had my fill of loving you. I'll never be able to get close enough to you because I'll always want to be closer. I want to see the world with you. I want to live the rest of my life with you by my side. _

He knew that Harry wanted them to come out. But that would bring complications and he couldn't have that. He promised himself that they wouldn't fight anymore. He wanted these last four months to be perfect. Fighting and facing the challenges there relationship could have faced were no longer possibilities because there just wasn't enough time. He knew something that Harry didn't. He would tell Harry a few weeks before their time was up. He would tell him everything. A not would be easier, because by then it would have been over and Harry couldn't have stopped him. But he didn't want to do it like that; Harry deserved him, not a piece of parchment. He would tell Harry everything and then tell him about the part where he had to go and do what he needed to do to finish the Dark Lord. And Draco would give himself up for Harry.

It was the way he wanted to go, it was the best way. Not because it was noble, but because dying for Harry, dying in the place of the one person he loved the most, seemed like the best way to go. He would do it for Harry for that reason – because he loved him.

When the time would come he would go back to the Manor, all would be prepared for him. He would be asked the question and he would tell the truth. That he was in love with Harry and that that was strong enough for him to sacrifice himself. He would say that he wouldn't complete the task. He would make sure that he didn't know any information on Harry's plans or actions or whereabouts in case he was tortured for information.

The only thing allowing him to do these things was the sole knowledge that this would save Harry's life and that was a reason as good as any if not better.

"Don't worry about me," Draco whispered "I'll be fine. You need to rest." He kissed Harry gently on the lips and murmured, "I love you." Harry drifted off to sleep.

Draco lay next to him and watched his breath rise and fall.

"How can I walk away when I love you so much?" He murmured. "I belong with you." Draco thought back to all the times that had built up to this, where he had wanted to ease away from Harry for his protection. And it ended up hurting the both of them more. But how could he love him, how could he give him the love that he deserved when he was so afraid of falling? He closed his eyes and let his heart make up his mind. "I'll never so goodbye," he whispered into Harry's hair "I'll just say goodbye for now."

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

The weather had begun to warm up as the end of winter was approaching. It was a nice day; the sun was out and the sky only had a few fluffy white clouds. Harry walked along the dirt street of Hogsmeade. There was no longer any snow however the atmosphere seemed a bit…dim? He didn't linger on it. There were a few people here and there, scattered on the street. He, Hermione and Ron kept on walking. As they passed a large shop they went by an alley way.

Suddenly, something grabbed Harry's arm and pulled him into the alley. His vision felt blurry making him feel disorientated. He was being pulled into the alley but where a long flat wall should have been there was a section of it that was carved out. Harry frowned as he realised that it wasn't a wall at all. In fact there was no wall. There was just a sort of…partition. He knew that once he was pulled into there no one would be able to see him. And then nothing was touching him anymore.

Draco stepped in closer. He brought his hand up and cupped Harry's check then slid his hand back down to his side. A knot formed itself in Harry's stomach and he had the urge to move forward. He leaned his head in closer. He inhaled Draco's scent.

Draco's eyes were closed but Harry kept his open. He could see Draco's lips were millimetres away from his own. He could feel Draco's warm breath on his lips. He knew what it would feel like to kiss him, he wanted it so badly. Slowly, slowly, they edged closer. Their lips pressed together in a way that Harry described as first kisses. The way they had kissed before their relationship had begun – cautiously, softly, gently, fixedly. Draco pulled away an invisible fraction and Harry's lips found Draco's bottom lip, which he softly captured it. Harry ran his tongue over the smooth, moist inside of Draco's lip. Not being able to wait any longer Draco leaned forward on his toes and really kissed the Gryffindor.

They heard footsteps on the gravel outside the partition. Harry turned his head and opened his eyes. There stood Hermione Granger.

For a moment her face was blank and then her eyes flitted back to the street where she had come from and then back to the boys. Draco was oddly calm by his side. Hermione looked conflicted as she unwillingly gave them a _go, I'll keep watch_ look. He didn't smile, but the message of his gratitude had gotten across. The next thing he knew he was Apparating. With a crack he appeared inside of an elegant room that had lots of shades of black and gray. There was a large bed with a dark silver cover, it had four bed posts. There was a run underneath the large bed and a window with lace curtains drawn. The door was closed and with a flick of Draco's wand it locked.

There wasn't anything else on Harry's mind except Draco. Draco wrapped his arms around Harry and they moved onto the bed. They locked into a kiss and Draco gently cupped his face. It was intense, mainly because of the heat. Every movement seemed to have been slowed down as if they were underwater. Time didn't exist.

Harry had never been here before but he knew it was Malfoy Manor. The memories of Draco telling Harry that he could never come here because it was too dangerous or whether his Draco's parents were home didn't even enter Harry's mind, simply because everything was so perfect.

He loved when Draco held him and ran his hands ever so lightly across his body. He loved it when Draco handled him like he was something revered. Having sex with him created a bubble around them and only what was inside that space, their space, mattered.

Everything felt so real. Like when Harry threw his head back and his breaths escaped him in pants. Or when Draco exhaled sharply threw his nose, Harry loved the sounds he made. Their space was filled with grunts and moans and cries and the sound of their names. The electrical shocks that built in his chest and shot down into his stomach and hand and back were deliciously addictive, making him arch his back. Their bodies were covered with a thin layer of sweat. Harry ran his hands threw Draco's damp hair. Harry loved Draco's hair like this, it was so raw. Draco lay on Harry's chest. They sucked each other's jaws and lips and earlobes, and anywhere else that didn't require too much exertion after their hard work. Harry's hands trembled a little, but he knew he was fine. In fact he was more than fine. He couldn't have possibly been happier. He smiled. He smiled because he knew that he would have Draco in his arms forever. He could feel their heartbeats and their breaths.

Harry woke.

**Just thought I should let you know, that dream that Harry just had...that was a real dream. I had that dream a few weeks before I started The Brave Ambition and it's what convinced me to write it. I wanted to share it with all of you.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Reviews are awesome **


	15. The Beginning of a Secret

**A/N: Oh my goodness I love you all so much. This has been such an emotional week for Brave Ambition. I sat down and on ONE A4 sheet of paper I planned the rest of BA. I won't tell you how many chapters to go because if you are like me you will break down emotionally – I think I had like three cups of tea afterwards. Thank you so much for your beautiful reviews, they never fail to brighten my day. omfg that I'm-going-to-fcking-legit-kill-you moment when your English teacher says, "I selded," instead of "I sold." I actually was ready to commit. School holidays in one week, can't wait to write full time for two weeks :)**

**Had 'the gay' debate with my nonna (dad's side of the family, explains it all lol) and it was utterly comical. It started by us talking about how I don't really watch tv and she was talking about how she can't stand Modern Family because of the gay couple. And then I said "They're my favourite!" *floodgates* "I can't believe my own granddaughter would say that…it makes me sick…the poor children…studies are wrong…it's disgusting…I can't believe I'm hearing this…it's completely wrong…" Then I'm like, "Nonna, but gay people are awesome! There's nothing wrong with them!" I think after saying the patron saint of Padoa's name she said the rosary. What are you gonna do? Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate.**

**CHAPTER 15 – THE BEGINNING OF A SECRET**

Ginny dropped a huge pile of textbooks onto the desk and they landed with a heavy thud. "This," she said irritably "is why I hate exams."

"I'd say join the club," Ron said with a sigh "but you'll hate it more here." Hermione scowled at him.

"Hermione, why are you making us do this now?" Ginny asked "we have a bit more than two months."

"There are three type of exam takers," Hermione said "the ones that look at the test and say, 'Oh I know this,', the ones that look at the test and say, 'What?' and the ones that look at the test and say, 'I've got to remember _something_.' Now, which one would you rather be?"

"The one that doesn't have to do it," Ginny answered. Harry and Ron grinned. Hermione rolled her eyes and returned to her books.

"Can I copy out your notes?" Ron asked. Hermione nodded absentmindedly and handed Ron sheets of parchment covered with inscriptions in multi-coloured ink.

Just then Lavender Brown came racing into the library. "Ginny!" she exclaimed, trying to catch her breath. She was followed by three other girls in her year. Ginny shut her books and looked up at them.

"What did they say?" she asked urgently. One girl burst into tears, mystifying and perplexing Ron, Hermione and Harry.

"My parents just owled me now," Lavender replied "they're all gone!"

"They can't be all gone!" Ginny gasped in shock "It's impossible!"

"I don't know anyone else who got them," Lavender said "they were all gone in a matter of minutes."

"But…but," Ginny stammered "if they're gone then how did no one get any?"

"I don't know!" Lavender huffed.

"And they're only doing it once!" Another girl added, looking heartbroken.

"I can't believe it," the fourth girl said "it was what was getting me through this exam time, I was looking forward for it for when we are on holidays."

Lavender's bottom lip quivered.

"Oh not you too," said a voice from behind them. They all turned to see Pansy Parkinson putting her library books away on a shelf near them. "They're just bloody concert tickets."

"J…just?" Ginny asked her in disbelief.

"Yes Weasley, just." Pansy sneered.

"They are not _just_ concert tickets," Lavender exclaimed, tears filling her eyes "they are concert tickets to The Weird Sisters–"

"–the most amazing band ever." One of the girls added. They all nodded in agreement.

"Keep your panties on, Brown." Pansy huffed and rolled her eyes "They're not that special."

All of the girls' eyes bulged. Ginny stood up out of her chair. "Excuse me?" she said rather forcefully.

"Have you even _heard_ their music?" Lavender demanded angrily.

"They are the number one magical music band in all of Britain…even America and Australia."

"They're not even good looking!" Pansy told them. This was clearly the wrong thing to say because the next thing that Harry knew all the girls had taken their wands out, pointed them at Pansy and growled, "Say that again."

"Now I'm not a girl," Ron said, Harry sniggered "but I know that when a girl says that it's not because she didn't hear you – it's a dare."

"You've gone mental," Pansy said shaking her head. She turned around and left.

Ginny sat back down and looked at Ron, Hermione and Harry. "I didn't get tickets," she said in amazement.

"Merlin, my life is over. What's the point of exams? What's the point of school? What's the point of living?" Lavender cried. All the other girls rushed to comfort her.

Ginny, being Ginny, was never one to 'princess' reopened her textbooks and muttered, "I cannot believe I didn't bloody get tickets."

Harry closed his books and put away his notes. "I've got to–"

"–go." Ginny, Ron and Hermione finished for him with a teasing smile. "We know."

Harry frowned. "Have fun," Ginny said to him.

"You too," he replied. Ginny fixed him with a look and Harry walked away laughing. As he left the library he past approximately three large groups of crying girls and he was thankful that he was a boy.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"Thank you for doing this," Harry said gratefully. He was in the room of requirement. He unpacked his bags, placing everything on the table.

"Well we can't have the Chosen One failing now can we?" Draco teased.

"Hilarious," Harry said sarcastically. He continued to set out his books, notes and quills.

"We're working on Ospicious' Theorem," Draco began "it is quite simple once you understand the fundamental key points to it." Draco set some work for him to do while he drew up some basic notes.

"I have a question though," Draco said suddenly into the quiet.

"You're asking me a question?" Harry asked in amazement, he barely had any idea what he was doing and Draco wanted to ask _him_ a question?

"It's not about this," Draco assured him, indicating to their work.

"Oh. Okay," Harry said "what is it?"

"Why did you not just ask Granger?" Draco asked. Harry knew that he meant about studying.

"Well Hermione very smart but–"

"I'm smarter," Draco finished.

"No," Harry rolled his eyes "you're just a better teacher. You're very patient. And you have better…methods." Harry finished naughtily.

Draco smirked. He turned the page of his book. "But I _am_ smarter," he said.

"I don't know," Harry said, making sure his tone sounded like he was conflicted "I'm not sure about that."

"What?" Draco asked, looking up at him in disbelief.

"You're both very, very smart," Harry assured him "but I'm not sure that you're smart_er_ than Hermione."

"Are you saying that she's smarter than me?" Draco scoffed in scepticism.

Harry shrugged.

"Take that back," Draco told him.

The Gryffindor shook his head.

"Take it back," Draco repeated.

Harry shook his head again. Draco, who was sitting on the chair next to Harry, got off his chair and sat on Harry's lap facing him, in one swift movement. He brought his face inches away from his boyfriend's. "Tell me that I'm smarter," Draco breathed.

Harry's breath hitched making the Slytherin smirk. He shook his head. Draco brought his arms up and wrapped them around Harry's neck and then lowered his mouth, sucking on Harry's rapidly rising pulse. Draco kissed back up his neck and then his lips.

"Tell me that I'm smarter," Draco said again. Harry swallowed, knowing that, all persistence aside – he wouldn't last long. He shook his head from side to side, not giving in yet. Draco kissed him again but this time it was different, he snuck his tongue into the raven's mouth. Harry followed him, moaning into the kiss.

"Say that I'm smarter," Draco whispered and then reconnected their lips. He let his hands drop ever so slowly down Harry's chest. "Say it." The Slytherin brought his arms back around Harry's neck bringing them closer. He ground his hips down on Harry's lap earning the most beautiful groan from the Gryffindor. "Say it…say it…say that I'm smarter." He punctuated this by grinding down again. He could feel Harry's obvious erection underneath him. He fought desperately to keep his own at bay, he still had a point to prove. He ground one last time before Harry caved in, "You're smarter."

"How smart?" Draco murmured, their lips barely touching.

"Really fucking smart," Harry gasped.

"That's right," Draco smirked successfully. He hopped off Harry's lap and returned to his work.

"Oi!" Harry frowned.

"What?" Draco said, looking up. Harry pointed to his obvious 'problem'.

"Recite Ospicious' Theorem without looking at the book and then I'll suck you off." Draco compromised.

"You can't be serious?" Harry said disbelievingly.

'Yes," Draco said sincerely with a nod.

"No way Malfoy, you finish what you started." Harry said.

"If you recall we actually began Ospicious' Theorem before you insulted me," Draco replied indifferently.

"But…"

"Maybe I'll fuck that too, but only after you do your work." Draco told him. His voice was utterly shameless, like what he had just said was the hottest thing Harry had ever heard.

"Draco," Harry whined.

"No," Draco said firmly "you need to do your work."

"You're so stubborn," Harry huffed. "why can't you just screw me and then we can work?"

"Because," Draco replied.

"You've always been a stubborn fuck…ever since the beginning." Harry told him, hoping to insult him and get a reaction out of him; just to give him some rope to work with, once he had that he could pull the blonde in easily.

"No," Draco disagreed "I was _as_ stubborn as fuck…you were _a_ stubborn fuck." That was true.

"Fuck you," Harry said with a grin.

While Draco went over Ospicious' Theorem Harry thought about the beginning…

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

_"Yes, I thought so." Draco whispered. He suddenly realised what he had just done. He had kissed Harry Potter. He had had a moment of vulnerability. Fear flashed through him like a sharp knife. He felt horrified. Turning on his heel he fled the dungeons, not stopping until he was enclosed in the safety of his dormitory._

_Harry still stood there. Confusion, elation - two emotions that flowed through him. He had just been kissed by Draco Malfoy. How many times had he imagined it? How many times had he yearned for it? Yet the real thing was a hundred times better than his imagination. He knew there was no going back after this. But what hurt him a little was knowing that Malfoy had run away, maybe Malfoy didn't think he would ever stay there, unlike him. He traced his bottom lip with his finger where there, only moments before, the Slytherin's lips had been. This was not over._

_Draco sat on his bed with horror filled thoughts. He wanted nothing more than for this to be over._

_*_

_Harry usually couldn't concentrate in potions because he didn't understand. Now, he couldn't concentrate because all he could think about was how Malfoy had kissed him. The blonde was sitting on the farthest working station away from him, Harry had no doubt in his mind that it was on purpose. Harry was trying to do everything that he could to catch the Slytherin's eye. But it seemed that Malfoy was doing everything in his power to avoid Harry's._

_"Potter!" Snape hissed. Harry groaned, this wouldn't be good. "What did I say about the Haliwinkles?"_

_"To put them in last?" Harry guessed, knowing it would be wrong. Hermione brought her palm to her face and groaned quietly. Draco turned around to look at him._

_"No Potter," Snape spat "I instructed you to add them into the mixture after the Boom Berry. And tell me Potter, does your text book say Poppy stems or Poppy seeds?"_

_Harry looked at his ingredients section. He closed his eyes for a moment, mentally berating himself and then looked back up at Snape._

_"Poppy stems sir," Harry said, in a defeated tone._

_"And what have you used?" Snape inquired._

_"Poppy seeds sir," Harry replied tightly._

_"That's right," Snape drawled "and the Fluxweed Potter? When must you add the Fluxweed?"_

_For some reason Harry looked at Draco. He felt a sharp electricity between them as the green met the grey. Draco felt his lips move as he mouthed, 'never.'_

_"Never," Harry answered._

_Snape's upper lip curled and with a flick of his wand vanished Harry's potion, "Zero marks."_

_When the class was dismissed Draco left the room hastily. "I'll catch up with you later," Harry said to Ron and Hermione as he left quickly. He caught up with the blonde as he followed him through a corridor. Draco thought that taking a strange route would stop Harry from following him however what he didn't think about was that this corridor was secluded and was in fact a prime place._

_"Malfoy!" Harry called out. Draco froze but didn't turn around. Harry huffed and walked forward. "Malfoy," Harry repeated._

_Draco felt Harry's voice close to him. He felt a hand on his shoulder making him flinch and whip around, effectively shaking off Harry's hand._

_"What do you want?" Draco snapped._

_"Why are you avoiding me?" Harry demanded. Draco didn't reply, he didn't want to be having this conversation. Harry didn't appreciate the lack of response. "If you don't want to talk to me then why did you kiss me?"_

_Draco gasped involuntarily. "Be quiet!" he hissed, looking around frantically._

_"There's no one else here," Harry pointed out, assuring him._

_"Leave me alone Potter," the blonde said icily._

_"Why did you kiss me yesterday?" Harry insisted. "I need and answer…you owe me an explanation." Harry needed to know why, for his sanity. His thoughts had not stopped last night, he needed closure._

_"I don't owe you anything," Draco told him coldly._

_"Yes you do," Harry said, his temper starting to rise "you can't just do that to people."_

_"Do what to people?" Draco demanded harshly. _

"_Leave them confused!" Harry exclaimed. All that could be heard was their breathing. It was completely unexpected – Draco's kiss. Harry's eyes flew wide open in surprise. Draco forced himself to break away because he knew all too well that once you crossed a line there was no return._

"_Leave me alone," Draco warned him. And with that he walked off, leaving Harry, again, feeling confused and flustered._

"_Harry?" Ron called "You 'right mate?"_

"_Yeah," Harry nodded, he apologised for going off with his thoughts. Ron shrugged carelessly. At first Harry was bewildered…but now he was just plain pissed off. Who did Malfoy think he was? How could he just use Harry like that? Kiss him and leave? Harry had feelings too. He knew about Draco Malfoy – of course he knew, he had been obsessed with the boy for months. He knew that Malfoy didn't work with emotion, he knew about all the girls. It wasn't just about his feelings towards the blonde anymore; it was about discovering Malfoy's intentions._

"_Where are you going?" Ron asked as Harry got up to leave._

"_Just stuff," Harry said, avoiding the question. His mind was too preoccupied to come up with something more believable. He saw Malfoy leaving the Great Hall and he was quick to follow his path._

_Harry thanked his lucky stars that the entrance to the Slytherin Dorm was deserted. Draco stopped. "Why are you following me Potter?" Harry was still looking at the back of Draco as the blonde had not turned around._

"_I want," Harry began, he decided to lower his voice "I want to talk to you."_

_Why? Why was he doing this? Draco asked himself. Why couldn't he just leave him alone? Why did he have to make this harder? One moment. One moment of weakness and this was what happened. Draco supposed it was the only way he would learn. He knew for next …_

"_I'm busy," Draco said._

_Harry wouldn't back down. Not until he got his question answered._

"_I have one question," Harry said._

_Draco knew that the wrong thing to do was agree to answer it, or even hear it. He knew that 'give them an inch and they take a meter' applied strongly in this certain situation. But his curiosity pulled at him, nagging at him. Like a whining child that was begging to know the answer. He understood that it would only make things worse, even though there was no one else around._

"_One," Draco allowed, he turned around._

"_Why did you do it?" Harry asked "Why did you kiss me?"_

_Draco hated that word at the moment. 'Kiss'. It made him feel uncomfortable, vulnerable and embarrassed. He kept his face composed._

"_You didn't enjoy it?" Draco asked as a retort. The first of many attempts to avoid answering that question at all costs._

_Harry immediately blushed. Draco's lips formed a small, victorious smirk. Harry swallowed nervously. He had enjoyed it, very much so. "You didn't answer my question," Harry said._

"_You didn't answer mine," Draco said._

_Two could play at that game, "I asked you first."_

_Draco glared at him. "Why do you think, Potter?"_

_Harry realised that the only way to get an answer out of him was to get a reaction out of him. Easy. He was Harry Potter after all, and this was Draco Malfoy. It's what they did best. Harry pushed aside his embarrassment._

"_I'm thinking a lot of things right now Malfoy, so you had better be clear because you wouldn't want me assuming now would you?" Harry was amazed at how his face did not sport a furious blush. Maybe because his irritation at the blonde at this particular instant over rode his embarrassment._

_This could not be said for Draco who turned a delicate shade of pink. Draco still needed to play safe and avoid the question._

"_How about a different question?" Harry asked, getting more pissed off by the second "Why me?"_

"_Exactly how many questions do you have Potter?" Draco asked with a sigh._

"_A lot," Harry said, annoyed. He walked forwards, closer to the blonde so that they were standing a few feet apart now. "You said you would answer one," Harry reminded him._

_That. That right there. That right there was why he shouldn't have turned around. Fuck. My. Life. Draco thought._

"_Why me?" Harry asked. The hardness from his tone had vanished completely. He just wanted to sort this out, that's all he wanted. He just wanted to know why. His voice was lined with pleading. He looked into Draco's grey eyes, almost getting lost in them. "Why did you choose me? Why did you kiss me? Do…do you…like me?" Harry asked hesitantly. He knew that if you kissed someone that you obviously had feelings for them. However, it could have just been a mean dare, or a test of sexuality or something along those lines. He needed to hear the Slytherin say it. _

_Draco swallowed nervously. "That's four questions," he said weakly. He used to have trouble…no, he used to outright deny his feelings towards Harry to himself. Now he had grown accustomed to it. He had no problem admitting it to himself, where it was safe and only he knew. Telling someone else, especially Harry, was the issue. Not that Draco didn't think his feelings weren't real, but telling him, telling Harry, would make them as real as they could get._

_Harry for the first time in his life completely agreed with the Sorting Hat's decision. He did belong in Gryffindor. Where dwell the brave at heart. Daring. Nerve. Chivalry. Those things he displayed and felt in that instant. Only a Gryffindor would have had the courage to do what he did._

_He leaned forward and kissed Draco. It was the first time Harry had initiated a kiss between them. His hands stayed by his side and his lips were cautious. Draco noted that Harry's lips felt different to all the other girls. Where they had soft lips, Harry's were firm. Draco sighed contently into the kiss. It felt good._

_What was interesting was that it hit them at the same moment. Although they had thought about it for days it suddenly because a surprising reality – he was kissing a boy._

_For Draco, the thought shocked him. But it didn't make him want it any less. He felt like perhaps it was too good to be true. Like he couldn't have it because it felt so good, so right. He had learnt that the things he associated with these feelings were usually taken away from him. Fear hit him as he thought of his father, his status, his name…the Dark Lord. He was about to jerk back quickly but Harry beat him to it._

_Harry stepped back quickly. His heart racing. Adrenaline running through him like it was a race, a contest, to alarm his entire body in the quickest possible time. Ready. Set. Go. Thinking about it was completely different from experiencing it. Harry was frightened at how brilliant it felt. He could still feel the fire on his lips. But it scared him too in a way because he had never had a strong physical relationship with any females let alone males._

"_What? Don't want me now?" Draco quipped, desperately trying to hide the fact that he felt afraid._

"_I'll want you when you answer me," Harry told him. He felt shaky and a little unsteady. All he wanted was an answer. And then he would leave. Couldn't Malfoy see that?_

"_Liar," Draco sneered "You've wanted me for months."_

"_And you Malfoy?" Harry asked, his eyebrow raised in question, almost in a challenging manner "How long have you wanted me for?"_

_Draco looked at Harry. He turned, mumbled something unintelligible at the door and slipped into the Slytherin Common room._

_Harry was surprised to feel hot, angry tears prickling his eyes. _

_Harry's muscles ached. They had worked hard at Quidditch practice the previous day and Harry was now feeling it with every step he took. Katie had told him to stretch. But of course with everything on his mind Harry ranked it as least important and didn't stretch. Now considering that he felt like dying on the inside, he was rethinking that choice. If he was ever a Quidditch captain the future he would make stretching compulsory. The thought of him being a Quidditch captain brought a smile to his lips. He chuckled and then winced. Laughing hurt too, fabulous._

"_Ow," he moaned to himself as he walked over to the greenhouses. Seeing them made him think of herbology and herbology made him think of school. School made him think of Hermione and Hermione made him, constantly, think about homework. So as Harry walked he formed a list of his homework._

_Now, Harry Potter was never one to multi task. He was supposed to be walking over to greenhouse number five but for some unknown reason as his thoughts trailed off so did his feet. Whilst thinking about charms, transfiguration and correct wand movements Harry unconsciously walked towards the Forest._

"_Twist , flick, left…" Harry muttered. "No…flick, turn left…or was it flick left and turn…bloody hell…" What was comical was that Harry didn't even seem to notice that it was darker due to the leaves and branches stopping the sky's light from coming through. "Twist, left turn, flick…turn left, flick left, twist left…no…turn right…swish and fli– no that's Wingardium Leviosa…was it…oh I give up…"_

"_Have you completely lost the plot?"_

_Harry snapped out of his thoughts and blinked in bewilderment. What was he doing here? Why was Malfoy here? His heart sped up at the sight of the Slytherin._

"_Sorry, what?" Harry asked, he was sure Malfoy had said something._

"_Potter, why are you here?" Draco demanded, he said it almost impatiently. Draco had come here to get away from Harry, or any place near the Gryffindor. How was it that he was here with him?_

"_I…" Harry wasn't actually sure himself, he felt stupid for it and blushed slightly "I don't really know…"_

"_Of course," Draco muttered, placing his fingers on the bridge of his nose "typical." Harry continued to look at his surroundings, fascinated as to how he ended up here. Draco silently asked Merlin, 'Why me?' and then let out a deep breath and began to walk off._

_He groaned and rolled his eyes. Turing around he snapped, "Potter! Are you coming or not?"_

"_What?" Harry frowned, confused._

"_I understand that you have a desire to break the rules but do you in fact know any of them?" Draco asked incredulously. "We're out of the castle and it's five o'clock."_

_As they walked back to the castle they walked up the hill cautiously an–_

"_Mr. Potter and Mr. Malfoy," said a sickeningly sweet voice from behind them. They both closed their eyes briefly and groaned before turning around. Draco cursed his luck under his breath, Harry cursed her under his. "May I ask why you are both outside of the castle after curfew?" Umbridge smiled. _

"_I was heading towards the greenhouses professor but I got lost in my thoughts and ended up in the Forest, I was just walking back to the castle now." Harry replied stiffly._

_Draco was about ready to kill him. Why would he say that? It was completely stupid for one and completely unbelievable for another. He could have lied. Any lie would have worked. But no. He was so infuriating! Why was he so infuriating? And stupid, and ridiculously attractive, not to mention that he annoyed him beyond belief with those blasted green eyes and his dark hair and–_

–_Draco stopped right there. Utterly humiliated that he had let his thoughts get the better of him in a place like this in a time like now. Could things have honestly gotten any worse?_

"_Well I'm afraid that I'll have to give you both a detention for being on the grounds after curfew, I'm dreadfully sorry to the both of you but rules are rules," she said happily._

'_The bitch isn't sorry at all,' Harry thought furiously._

'_Things just got worse,' Draco thought gloomily._

"…_and that's how the incantation is produced." Hermione explained to Ginny. Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny all sat in the library._

"_But…why would I ever need to use that?" Ginny asked._

"_You won't," Ron answered his sister and then added "ever."_

"_Then," she frowned "why am I learning it?"_

_Hermione looked stumped. "Because…well…"_

"_I understand," Ginny assured her "we learn it just for shits and gigs."_

_Harry burst out laughing, Ron laughing with him. Ron quickly stopped laughing and Harry turned to look at why. Draco Malfoy stood there looking…well, like Draco Malfoy. He cleared his throat. "We need to discuss a few things Potter," Draco said. "Outside," he added._

_Something about Draco standing while he sat, looking over him was oddly attractive. Harry realised that he had been so caught up in his confusion and questions and frustrations that he hadn't had the time to appreciate that after months and months of wanting, he finally had. Well…almost._

"_What's it about?" Harry asked. He figured that complying with Malfoy's request so easily would spark suspicion._

"_Professor Umbridge," Draco replied._

"_Tell her to paint the bottom of the lake pink," Ginny sneered "and not to come up for air until it's dried."_

_Everyone laughed except for Draco, who in actually fact thought it to be quite funny but in this current situation where he was nervous and wound up his face remained rigid. Harry stood up and followed Draco outside. He was interested when they continued walking into the next corridor. Draco turned around._

"_We have a detention tomorrow night at seven thirty, we're cleaning cauldrons," Draco told him._

"_Without magic?" Harry guessed glumly. Draco nodded. Harry wondered if their detention was together. It most likely was. He thought that he had better ask anyway. Harry was about to ask but then his thoughts went back to those at the library; thinking about how after all this time, he was finally speaking to Draco Malfoy. Speaking, talking, interacting, standing near. Harry's eyes darted to Draco's lips and then to his eyes. Draco felt his pulse quicken in his neck, he could feel it in his palms as well. He so small under Harry's gaze. Harry checked to make sure no one was around and then looking back at Draco he leaned in hesitantly. Taking the blonde not looking away as a good sign he connected their lips ever so slightly. Like testing to see how hot or cold the water was. He could feel Draco's breath on his lips, an entirely new sensation. It made him more eager and more nervous all at once. It was amazing how in the moment he was, how real this felt. Draco tilted his head to the side and pressed his lips more firmly against Harry's. It was like something scorching flashed across Draco's mind._

_He stepped back as if he had been shocked by electricity. Draco looked at Harry. "Listen Potter," he said in a low voice "I don't like you and I'm...I'm not...just leave me alone." With that he stormed off._

_In Harry's opinion Draco sounded like he was telling himself more than he was telling Harry. Harry felt tired, exhausted. It took so much energy to have that adrenaline course through his body and then be told that it was a mistake. He was so tired of it. He just wanted one kiss, one kiss where it didn't end as being classified as a mistake on someone else's terms._

_He liked Draco. Well, everyone said that technically after the fourth month of genuinely liking someone it was then classified as love. But how could he love someone when that someone was so…confused? And confusing. Harry understood how hard it was. He remembered how it started. With him looking forward to crossing paths with the blonde. Then constantly following the Slytherin's progress on the Marauders' Map. It was then that he began to discover that he was feeling more than he was thinking. Coming to terms with the fact that perhaps he was thinking about Draco too much had been difficult. Especially when he had no one to talk to about it but himself. _

_But how could he like someone like Draco? This question he had asked himself so many times that he had lost count. Always returning to the same answer – he just did. He figured that you couldn't choose who you liked, they chose you. Just like he didn't choose to like men. He just did. It wasn't something you could think about or rationalise, it was just something that you felt._

_Right now, he felt…Harry sighed, he felt absolutely overwhelmed by everything he was feeling at the moment. All he wanted…what did he want?_

_He just wanted Draco._

"_For something different," Harry muttered sullenly to himself. _

_Snape had locked the door of the cold potions classroom and left. Determinedly avoiding any chance of communicating with the other boy, Draco immediately began to work. Harry sighed to himself quietly, following suit by taking a cauldron and a sponge._

_He watched as Draco scrubbed. He began himself, but only half-heartedly. Draco's platinum blonde hair fell into his eyes the way it always did when he leaned forward. His breaths became a little more laboured as he worked. Harry watched his arm muscles move. There was no one around to see Harry do this. He tried averting his eyes but failed hopelessly, he just couldn't tear them away. He could have watched him for ever._

_Draco could practically feel Harry's stare burning into him. It made him feel very uncomfortable. "Potter, stop staring."_

_Harry jolted. His face blushed bright red and returned to his cauldron. Draco rolled his eyes. Harry had no subtlety. Draco now found it amusing. It was how he realised that Harry liked him – his staring. He knew that the Gryffindor probably didn't do it on purpose but it was obvious, shameless and constant._

"_Stop thinking so hard," Harry retorted._

_Draco looked up. "I was not thinking too hard, Potter." Draco said a little icily._

"_You were," Harry disagreed "your lips were pursed."_

_Draco blinked in shock. "Excuse me?"_

_Harry opened his mouth and then shut it quickly, grasping what he had just said. He looked down, horrified at the thought that he had voiced. His cheeks burned hot and red._

"_Excuse me?" Draco repeated, looking at him expectantly._

"_Why should I answer you when you never answer me?" Harry's question wasn't said in an angry manner, it was sincere. If Draco wanted answers, then he would have to give some himself._

"_Because you'll answer me anyway." Draco told him. Both of them knew that was true._

_Harry sighed. "When you think your lips purse a bit…it's what happens when you concentrate." He said quietly._

_Draco didn't know that. No one had ever told him…or even taken the time to notice. Draco frowned, that was strange. No, it was more fascinating than strange. Did he think that Harry only saw his looks when he watched? He thought he did. It seemed he was wrong. Why would someone take the time to notice him like that?_

_Harry blushed again, it was becoming a rather inconvenient habit of his, and shrugged. Draco wondered what had caused this reaction when he became conscious of the fact that he had said his thoughts out loud. 'Why would you take the time to notice me?'_

"_A lot of people notice you," Harry told him as he scrubbed his cauldron "especially…" Harry trailed off and shook his head, stopping himself from continuing. At this point Harry had gotten Draco's attention and the blonde was curious as to what the Gryffindor was thinking._

"_Especially…" Draco prompted._

_Harry really didn't want to say it. It would make things more awkward than they already were. "All those…girls…"_

_Draco winced. Harry didn't miss it, though he waited for Draco to speak before he said anything. The thing was Draco didn't know how to reply to that. Although it was mostly Pansy, he still slept around a lot. That was because many complicated things though._

"_So you believe that girls are the only people that notice me?" Draco questioned._

"_Do I look like a girl?" Harry said before he could stop himself._

_This earned a smirk from the Slytherin, "Do you honestly want me to answer that Potter?"_

"_Ha, ha," Harry said dryly. "I don't think you want to be noticed."_

"_Pardon?"_

"_You asked if I thought that only girls noticed you," Harry repeated "and I think that you don't want to be noticed."_

"_You don't know what you are talking about," Draco snapped, not sure why he had suddenly responded so harshly. Was it because he thought that Harry was right?_

_Harry was suddenly confident. Maybe it was because he was so used to talking to Draco when the there was a negative tension in the air so he felt comfortable with proceeding. Maybe how he spoke next was the way he would in a usual Malfoy/Potter row. Maybe he wasn't scared of hurting Draco's feelings because Draco had hurt his multiple times over the past week._

"_Yes I do," he said, stopping what he was doing to look the Slytherin in the eye "you don't want to be noticed because you have so much to hide. You only let people see the side that you want them to see. You're scared of the other side yourself. Probably because you're afraid of looking too deep and finding something that forces you to face a whole lot of shit that you don't want to. That's why you're always so controlled – because you always work to keep it hidden. It happens all the time. Like in class. You know all of the answers like Hermione does. The difference is that she says it straight away while you always check to see if it's safe to say out loud. You don't trust yourself. You don't trust anyone. Actually, you have a lot of issues."_

_It felt so good to finally voice these thoughts after months of storing them away. Draco was so astounded that he was amazed at how me managed to speak, "That isn't something one would usually say to the person they fancy."_

_Harry ignored him and continued, "Like how you screw around with all of those girls." Truthfully, Harry was jealous of them. He knew that they didn't get him love, only his body. While that was still more than Harry had he would never take just that if it was all that he could get. It was love that he wanted, more than anything else. A reciprocation of his feelings. He was also unhappy that Draco had made those poor choices. _

"_You don't know anything about that!" Draco said angrily._

"_Yes I do," Harry told him, his face serious "they're meaningless to you. They're just quick fucks. I know why you do it. You do it so that no one would suspect you. But that's not just it, you used to do it to try and convince yourself." Draco was scared. How had one boy noticed all of this? Was his façade faulty? He grew more and more afraid as Harry went on. Because Harry was right. "You want to know why else you're scared? Because you like me."_

_Draco's mouth dropped open, he gaped at the Gryffindor. He couldn't believe Harry had just said that. On the other hand though, as soon as the words had left Harry's lips he felt instantaneously better._

"_And I'm still sitting here trying to figure out why," Harry said, looking at Draco intently "you hate me. So why," Harry asked for what felt like the millionth time "why me?"_

_Harry looked at Draco imploringly, he should have known it was no use. The only way to get a Malfoy to speak was to get a reaction._

"_Maybe you only like me because you can't have me?" Harry thought aloud. "Because I'm on the other side to you, because I'm a boy, because I'm a Gryffindor, because everyone would hate it…hate you, because you're gay."_

_Draco's eyes snapped wide at the mention of that word. "Why do _you_ like _me_?" he shot._

_Harry looked at him. "I don't know," he said honestly "you're rude, mean and bloody manipulative." Draco glared at him and Harry sighed. "Maybe because I have a thing for saving people…and you clearly need saving."_

"_I don't need saving," Draco said coldly "there's nothing wrong."_

"_You fuck girls without emotion and you kiss boys without meaning to stick around after to figure yourself out," Harry said "that doesn't sound like there's nothing wrong."_

_Draco shot him a murderous look, he didn't like to be assessed or scrutinized._

"_And you're…" Harry began and then mumbled the rest._

_Draco let out a frustrated sigh, did he ever speak clearly? "And I'm what?"_

"_Really good looking," Harry said reluctantly. Draco couldn't help the smirk that spread across his face. He knew that he was good looking but knowing that the boy he fancied had just said that made his spine tingle in an oddly pleasant way. Harry huffed in discomfort. Why was Harry the one that was constantly feeling embarrassed? He thought Draco should have his fair share. How was he so confident a moment ago and yet when he mentioned what he felt deeply he became shy and insecure? Harry sighed and put down his sponge, he stepped around his cauldron and sat on the desk next to the blonde._

_The Gryffindor looked up into the grey eyes of the boy he liked so very much. "Draco?"_

_Draco felt a shudder run through him as Harry spoke his name. The way Harry had said it, the boy's tone and voice and sincerity were an indication to Draco that what Harry would say would be earnest._

"_Why me?"_

_Draco leaned in hesitantly. Closer and closer he came to Harry's lips. He understood that it was only right to answer the Gryffindor's question before kissing him again. _

"_Because you see me," Draco whispered, his eyes slowly shutting as he closed the remaining distance between them. Their lips met in a kiss. And for the first time, Harry could properly take pleasure in it without wondering why._

_Later on, Draco would comprehend that he needed that sight more than he needed the air in his lungs._

"_It scares you shitless doesn't it?" Harry breathed, breaking away for a moment._

"_Mmhmm," Draco agreed before reconnecting their lips._

_Kissing each other just felt so…right. So natural, so…good. So, so, so good. Even though they were cautious kisses they still sent sparks of blissful energy through them both. Harry wanted to discover this knew territory slowly and enjoy every moment of it. That made him think…_

_Much to Draco's dismay he broke away again. "Draco?" Harry said tentatively "What is this?"_

"_What is what?" Draco asked, confused._

"_This," he indicated to the two of them "us. What are we?"_

"_Well we were kissing," Draco said irritably, but then he answered seriously after a look from Harry "a secret."_

"_A secret?"_

"_A secret," Draco said more surely._

_Did that mean that he would be with Draco? Did he want that? Of course he did. He had wanted it for so long. Harry's heart was a propeller, beating wildly in his chest. Never, in previous months, ever did he imagine this outcome. Never ever did he imagine that he would get his wish, get Draco._

"_So does that mean," Harry said "that you…that we're…"_

"_Together?" Draco supplied. Tasting the new word on his tongue. He, too, thought of whether he wanted this or not. He was frightened to tell anyone. But he wanted this badly. Just for once in his life he could choose for himself. He wanted this. "Yes," he said, the word was odd, like floating on air. An entirely new sensation filled them both. The realisation that they were real. That they were going to happen. That this was a relationship. Strange but pleasant. Exciting. Harry blushed. "Do you blush at everything Potter?"_

_Harry scowled. As an afterthought he added, "Harry."_

"_Pardon?"_

"_Harry," he repeated "instead of Potter…Harry."_

_Draco closed the space between them "Harry," he breathed on the other boy's lips. The word came out like silk, so smooth and beautiful. Harry swallowed before leaning in also. The kiss sealed everything. It was _their_ first kiss._

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry buttoned up his shirt while Draco fixed his tie. "I'm quite positive you'll never forget that Theorem," Draco told him.

"You didn't let me come until I reeled it off without any mistakes," Harry rolled his eyes "I don't think I'll forget it either." Draco smirked. "I might get hard in class while I'm reciting it though."

"Now _that_ would be entertaining," Draco chuckled. He looked at his watch, "You need to go or you'll be late."

Harry packed up his books. "Yeah I know," he said, rushing to put his shoes on. He gave Draco a grateful peck, "thank you."

Draco kissed him again and then pulled away. "Okay," he said "now go."

Harry grinned and then left. Running down the corridor he came to Dumbledore's office. Harry gave the password ("liquorice whip") and knocked on the door.

"Ah Harry," Dumbledore smiled "come in, come in."

Harry walked into the office and sat down.

"Well?" Dumbledore said.

Harry pulled out the vial from his pocket and gave it to the Headmaster. "I got it sir," Harry replied.

Dumbledore beamed, "I knew you would."

Together they moved over to the Pensieve to view Professor Slughorn's memory.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

The Slytherin Dorm was quiet and ready for bed except for one girl who persisted with her Potions homework. She was frustrated beyond belief. She just couldn't understand why you would mix Sulphur Vive to Antimony when instead you could mix Runespoor egg and get the same result but quicker. She was a girl that always questioned her teachers, never aloud though, because she was smart enough to find a better way but also smart enough to never get caught. She also didn't understand why you would add Ptolemy to the potion when it was evident that Ptolemy gave a side effect of hair loss. It would have been okay to have Ptolemy as long as there was Knotgrass to accompany it, as Knotgrass was the main ingredient in a hair strengthening potion. And there was no Knotgrass in the potion.

Pushing aside her homework she pulled out a spare piece of parchment from her bag and a lead pencil. She began to move her pencil on the parchment, drawing lines and figures. She brushed her fingers over the lead to smudge it to create depth and shadow. Drawing, painting, art – were things that she enjoyed the most. Mainly because she knew that she drew the right way, she drew her way and no one else's. She was so caught up in her work that she didn't notice him walk up behind her.

He looked over her shoulder and saw what she was drawing. His eyes widened as he saw the image, it was so clear. So much so he could have been standing right in front of it. He knew that she had an affinity for art. He loved watching her as she drew; the hair fell in her face slightly. He couldn't see this as he was behind her but he knew it was true. He had watched her draw before. He didn't want her to continue the picture.

"Shouldn't you be in bed Greengrass?" Draco asked.

"Fuck!" Astoria hissed as her heart flew up into her throat. She dropped her pencil and whipped around.

Draco pursed his lips and raised an eyebrow, "What have I told you about swearing?"

She put a hand over her chest in relief. She shook her head and sighed, "Oh, it's you."

"Were you expecting someone else?"

Astoria rolled her eyes. "No," she said honestly.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" he repeated.

"Yes," she agreed "but I have homework to finish."

"That's homework is it?" Draco asked pointing to the picture.

Astoria blushed. "I got distracted," she mumbled.

"I know, you tend to do that more often than not," Draco said.

"It's not my issue that no one ever bothers to keep my attention," she pointed out.

"Why are you drawing that?" Draco asked her abruptly.

She looked back at the picture and covered it with her books. Before turning back around she sent up a silent prayer, praying that Draco wouldn't go _there_.

When she didn't answer Draco said, "It's horrible."

Astoria knew he didn't mean her art. She knew that he meant the subject of her drawing. Astoria knew that he was right; the Tree was horrible. They had never met there on positive terms. It was where their friendship began. They rarely talked in public at school. They didn't speak to each other often, but they did sometimes. The Tree was a place of sadness and hurt and pain. To Draco that was. Not that it wasn't to Astoria – it was, but it was a lot more. She knew it was a selfish thing to think but she looked forward to Draco having a horrible Christmas, just so that they could meet there. So that she could listen to him, watch his pale blonde hair fall into his face, see the emotions that no one else got to see but her and feel that warmth inside of her when he told her that she was the only one that understood.

"I know," she agreed.

Draco didn't understand, "So why are you drawing it?"

She sighed. "Because it's all I think about," she confessed "all I can think about is that tree. I don't know why."

Draco knew why it was on her mind. It was the first time he doubted his spell work. He kept calm.

"What homework do you have?" he asked her.

She showed him her books. "Some stupid potion," she replied.

Draco frowned. "It is not stupid," he reprimanded.

"You haven't read it," she told him, knowing full well that he would agree with her after he read it. He asked for the book and she gave it to him willingly. Still reading it he sat down next to her at the table. Draco turned the page and frowned as he read on. Astoria smiled quietly to herself.

He looked up. "This is stupid," he concluded.

"I told you," she chuckled.

He found a piece of parchment and took out a quill. "You are a smart girl, you should be able to work this out," he told her.

She felt her cheeks heat. "Not as smart as you," she said.

"I'm two years older than you," he said out. Turning back to the work he said, "Tell me everything that you think is wrong with this."

"Runespoor egg should be added to Antimony instead of the Sulphur Vive," she said confidently.

"Yes," Draco approved, he wrote that down "what else?"

"There is no Knotgrass being added to eradicate the effects of Ptolemy," she said.

"That's correct," he said writing it down "but what would you substitute Ptolemy for, if you could?"

She blinked and then took the quill in Draco's hand. Draco noted that Harry and Astoria were the only two people in the world that he would allow to get away with that. Astoria spoke as she wrote.

"We use Ptolemy for three main properties," she said creating a list "clotting blood, decreasing blood mass and slowing down the body's functions. In order to do this it decreases hormone levels and you can lose your hair. So we need to find something that does all those three things."

"Where would you find this?" Draco asked, impressed, although he knew that she was more than capable. Astoria looked unsure. "Try basic, use common sense." He offered.

"A healing potion?" she tried. Draco tapped her Encyclopaedia of Potion Ingredients book with his index finger, indicating her to look it up. Astoria immediately flicked through it, searching for the healing section and found a basic blood clotting draught.

"Burdock has blood clotting properties but naturally it increases hormone levels creating more blood. So that won't work. Dandelion root is too harsh on the body. Bundium secretion could work but that would leave permanent scarring on the limbs. I don't know." She looked back up at him.

Draco looked at her. She was a quiet girl that had the mind of an adult. And he knew that that frustrated her because no one could ever reach her intellect, leaving her feeling unchallenged and small. She was very clever and very smart. She was a lovely girl but people's stupidity tended to irritate her constantly. She was the closest thing he had to a sister…or a sibling for that matter.

"You know this," he told her "and I know you can do it." Astoria took a deep breath and nodded. "You're complicating things. Go back to basics. Tell me the name of the potion."

"Serpa Serum," she answered.

"And what is its role?"

"To close up snake bites and close the wounds on the skin, effectively diminishing infection rates and dispelling the poison. It does this by clotting the blood and trapping the body's remaining blood supply so that it stays in the body. Also, it slows down the body's functions in order for the blood to stop circulating." She recited. Perfect textbook standard.

This was one of the many reasons Astoria loved being with Draco, she didn't have to hold back. She could learn freely. He gave her the opportunity to learn. He gave her something that scarcely anyone did…or could.

"So what is the potion classified as?"

"Helpful?"

Draco raised his eyebrow. But he couldn't help the small smirk that formed on his lips.

"Sorry. A healing potion," she answered, enjoying the fact that she amused him.

"Yes," he nodded "now tell me the three main healing potions."

"Erumpent, Abyssinian and Sopophorous," she listed.

"Correct. Which is the most powerful?" he questioned.

"Sopophorous," Astoria replied instantly.

Draco smiled. "Why?"

"Because it ha–" Astoria stopped suddenly, realising "because it has Dragon's Blood." She felt like a light bulb had been flicked on.

"Go on," he nodded in encouragement.

"Ptolemy is used for blood related uses so we need to be working _with_ blood." Astoria told him.

"You studied the four types of blood in third year, correct?"

"Yes."

"Tell me what they are," he instructed.

"Dragon Blood, Unicorn Blood, Re'em Blood and Salamander Blood," she paused "I need to use Re'em Blood…but…it will have side effects." She looked up and Draco, "It will dirty the blood."

"Tell me why?" At this point he was incredibly pleased with her.

"I don't know why," she admitted "I just know that that's what happens." She had chosen Re'em Blood by process of elimination and then voiced its faults.

Draco nodded, that was understandable. With anyone else he would have explained the technological and biological reasons. But he knew that Astoria would appreciate more than that. He never withheld information from her. She got that from everyone else and she deserved to be fed the knowledge that she hungered for.

"A Re'em is a type of non-venomous amphibian that is found in its natural habitat, which is the mud. Pure-blood witches and wizards used to capture them and extract their blood. Becoming an endangered species was not a worry because they populated at an alarming rate. Re'em Blood is extremely beneficial when used correctly. However, what these witches and wizards did was that they boiled the blood to 102 degrees Celsius and mixed it with cinnamon. In those times they used to capture muggleborn witches and wizards and force them to drink this concoction. The cinnamon caused their stomach lining to produce micro tears and therefore the Re'em Blood was mixed into the human blood in their veins. This created bacteria in the bloodstream and the blood became a brown colour. This is where the term 'mudblood' originated from because the muggleborns literally had dirty blood. Now," Draco said "What has cleansing properties? What will rid the blood of bacteria?"

Astoria smiled as she answered, "Eucalyptus."

Draco inclined his head in approval. "Correct," he told her "and in regards to the Antimony, you're correct again. You should use Runespoor eggs instead of Sulphur Vive so tha–"

"We need to put it in last," Astoria said abruptly.

"Pardon?"

"The Ptolemy," she clarified "instead of putting it in first and letting it brew we need to put it in last and that would lessen the chance of the side effects." She gave a small sigh of disappointment. After all of that she would still be using the Ptolemy. She was a little annoyed at herself also, for not picking such a simple solution up previously.

Draco looked at her and smiled. He rarely ever smiled like that for anyone. Harry was the exception. It seemed Astoria was too. "I told you that you would work it out," he said, feeling proud of her. He could not understand why she did not want a career in potions, or healing, or magical law, or anything academic when she clearly excelled at it all. They had just done potions work that was two and a half her senior and she had done completed most of it on her own. But no, she wanted to paint. Because, 'It makes me happy Draco.' But then, if she had found her happiness and could keep it he wouldn't dare stop her or ell her any different.

Draco got up from his chair and before leaving he said, "But I like your way better." He then added, "Maybe one day you will write your own flawless potions book."

Astoria gave him a small smile, "Goodnight Draco."

"Goodnight Greengrass," he replied. She watched him leave and walk up the stairs to his dorm.

"Maybe one day…" she whispered quietly to herself. And she wasn't talking about the potions book.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"Honestly, what is up with you two?" Draco sighed. They both looked exceedingly irritated.

"Period," they both replied.

"Ah," Draco said understanding. Pansy was moody because of her hormones and Blaise was moody because he had no-sex week.

They passed a group of girls with red-rimmed eyes and they were all sniffling. "I fucking swear," Pansy hissed "if I see another person crying over that bloody concert I'll hex them."

"You're a bit intolerant," Draco commented.

Pansy gave him a dangerous stare. "Don't get smart," she warned him "I'm not in the mood."

Draco bit back a retort. They kept on walking when suddenly Pansy exclaimed, "Bloody Merlin," she cried "you don't understand!"

"I didn't say anyth–" Draco began to say, looking rather alarmed at Pansy's outbusrts, but he was cut off.

"Let's see _you_ bleed for a week!" Pansy exclaimed "Let's see you cope with everything that you eat go straight to your thighs and hips. Let's see how you like it when you bloat like a dead fish. I'm so hungry all the time. And you can bet your first born child that I'll get a motherfucker of a headache in about ten minutes. Let's see how you feel when the oestrogen running through your system turns you into a whiny bitch. I can't actually do anything right now other than making a sandwich like some oppressive wife because I'm so dysfunctional. I'm going to spend the next week bitching and moaning when I could be doing something productive like fucking my boyfriend. Oh wait, screw that. I can't. You know why? Because I'm fucking menstruating like some jack-rabbit. I can't remember the last time I cried and here I am, sobbing like some princess, embarrassing the shit out of myself and I don't even know why! I feel like someone has whacked me in the back with a bloody troll's club. And all I want is a hug…is that too much to ask? My boobs feel like someone has punched them into the next century they're hurting that badly. I just want to shove my hand inside my body and take out my–"

"Thank you Miss. Parkinson," Professor Snape said from behind them. He ignored Pansy's embarrassed expression and Blaise's failed attempts at not laughing and looked at Draco.

Draco understanding turned to his friends and said, "I will meet you back at Slytherin." After they had left Snape spoke.

"Draco I have received a letter from your father," Snape told him.

That made Draco angry. His father had no right to involve Snape. "Haven't we all," Draco said, displaying both nerve and his annoyance.

Snape shoved him against the wall, holding him by the scruff of his collar. "Does your life mean nothing to you?" Snape said in a low, angry hiss. Draco felt a strange tickling feeling in the back of his skull.

"Get out of my head," Draco snapped, pushing Snape off of him.

Snape composed himself. "Your father wishes me to tell you that you have been ordered to return home for the Easter holidays," Snape said "to ensure that his wishes are followed I shall be personally escorting you to the Manor."

Draco felt all feeling leave him. No…

**A/N: The Weird Sisters concert – in memory of the One Direction tickets I didn't get. D':**

**And I just want to mention my Dad, who came up with 'Ospicious' whilst on the toilet so full marks to you, dad…too bad he doesn't know what it is being used for.**

**OMFG DOES ANYONE ELSE SHIP LARRY STYLINSON?**

**Thanks for reading **


	16. Changing Directions

**A/N: To my readers, it all starts now…**

**Chapter 16 – CHAGING DIRECTIONS**

"Draco I don't think this is a good idea," Harry said. Worrying as usual. Draco sighed.

"Harry," he said "you know I don't have a choice."

"Don't go," Harry said "stay here. Can't you say that you have to study for exams? It's not like you'd be lying."

Draco hadn't told him about Snape personally escorting, why make Harry worry? Why complicate things? He had promised himself no more fighting if he could avoid it and that argument was definitely avoidable.

"Harry I have to go home," Draco told him "I can't keep avoiding this. It's only two weeks."

"Just…just be strong. I know that you are," Harry added in quickly "but I'm not talking about being strong on the outside, I'm talking about being strong here." Harry placed his hand over Draco's chest. "Because this is better than them. This is you. And you are extraordinary."

Saying thank you would have indicated that Draco was indeed going home to a death trap instead of just two weeks spent with family. It would confirm Harry's thoughts and fears.

"Harry, everything is fine, I promise." Draco lied. "I always go home for the holidays, it is just that this time there is a lot of tension between my family and I. I can handle this perfectly."

Harry sighed. He looked at the way the left side of Draco's mouth turned down the tiniest fraction and wondered why he was lying. Or what he was trying to cover up? But he trusted Draco…he held onto that firm belief – it was the only thing that was allowing him to let Draco go.

"Okay," Harry said planting a firm kiss on Draco's forehead "be safe."

"I will," Draco told him, knowing full well that that might be impossible.

"Write to me?"

"I will try," it was the best Draco could offer, he would not tell Harry he would when he might not be able to at all. The future was too unpredictable at this stage.

This was just another sign that things were not okay, were Harry's thoughts. Nonetheless he nodded and whispered, "I love you."

Draco hugged them closer and murmured into Harry's hair, "I love you too." They stayed like that for a while, just holding each other close until it was time to go. They packed up all their books into their bags leaving the wooden desk bare. The best thing about the Room of Requirement was that it didn't just cater for their sexual needs – it catered for their academic needs also.

"Wait," Harry said. He pulled out a blunt quill and brought it to the wooden surface of the desk. Pressing down hard he engraved,

HP + DM  
>03.04.96<p>

Draco smiled. Harry looked up at him, "One day we'll come back here and add to that date."

Draco who was standing behind him wrapped his arms around Harry's waist from behind. "And what date did you have in mind?"

Harry shrugged. "We'll wait and see," he said. Draco swallowed back hard – this was what he would fight for. This. To come back in twenty years together and put down the date when they got married, the dates of when their children were born…

"It's going to be the loneliest two weeks ever," Harry sighed. Draco kissed his cheeks.

"When I get back we can decide what we will do for the 29th," Draco told him.

Harry turned around and frowned, "What's happening on the 29th?"

Draco's mouth dropped open in shock. His eyes widened, "You…you don't…know?" he stepped back, horrified.

Harry rolled his eyes and smiled. "Come here you idiot," Harry said, opening his arms in invitation "of course I remember. How could I forget?" Draco stepped into his arms tentatively. Harry continued, "Last year on the 29th I was scrubbing dirty cauldrons down in the dungeons with this gorgeous blonde boy who finally agreed to go out with me. And even though he is the stubbornest, most infuriating man ever, whom is utterly hot, maddeningly mysterious and ridiculously intelligent, you know what?"

Draco looked into Harry's perfect, beautiful green eyes, "What?"

"I love him," Harry said "more than anything else in the world."

Their lips met.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"You're quiet," Pansy noted. Pansy, Blaise and Draco sat in a compartment on the train home.

"I'm just tired is all," Draco lied. Pansy shrugged indifferently and returned back to Blaise. Draco didn't ask them to stop snogging in front of him because in all honesty he didn't really notice. His mind was elsewhere; like how the they were speeding past the mountains; like how the sky line was so smooth compared to the rocks that it sheltered; like how big the world was and how quickly you could miss it when you flew by.

He stood up and left the compartment, he did not feel the need to tell Pansy or Blaise where he was going – it was not any of their busy anyway. Completely ignoring the fact that he was a Prefect and therefore should be setting a good example, Draco opened the door that connected the carriages and exited outside. As the door closed behind him he stood on the metal liaison, resting his arms on the railing. He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath.

The wind rushed into his face blowing back his hair. When he tried to breath in the air passed him and then was forced upon him, leaving him gasping. It was truly exhilarating. It encased him fully. He felt weightless, worriless. It was addictive. He clutched it like a life support knowing that in a few hours he would never know this feeling again. No more care free, no more relaxation, no more peace. His hands tightened around the rails, gripping them violently leaving his already cold and raw fingers white. The cold was sharp. Not sweet like the warmth. Draco was not as familiar with warmth. The cold had been his friend for such a long time. But that had been a cold filled with blackness. This new icy sensation he invited eagerly to help him to forget, to help him feel alive, to help him be. The gust and the turbulence made whooshing sounds competed with the hard sound of the train speeding over the tracks below him. And while strangely and randomly thoughts of how easy it would be to end his life right here and now fluttered into his head he just smiled and pushed them away. That would be too easy. And Draco Malfoy always put up a fight. He always fought for the best. And the best would be to leave as little disturbed behind when he left. The thrum of his heart leapt in his chest, a humming bird beating its winds. The speed creating feelings within him. Stirring inside. Air – so clever as to slip through your fingers and while it will never catch you when you fall, it makes the fall worthwhile. Time becomes nothing when you savour every nanosecond of it. Like air it slips away so quickly and no matter how much you wish it to stay or how much you are willing to pay for that little bit longer, sadly, it is not up to you. Who is it up to then? Those above us who roll the dice, and us, poor are we who must suffer the consequences that are unfairly forced upon us.

When Draco opened his eyes again it was night. Being afraid of the dark suddenly seemed just. 

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

He had given his mother a fleeting greet and then had gone straight to his room where he locked the door. He knew it was coming. He knew that he could not put it off much longer. Maybe he could pull through this if…_He_ wasn't here. He had recited how he would progress with this though if he was being honest with himself, which he was trying hard to be no matter how much it hurt, plans could change quickly as he couldn't fully predict his parents' reaction.

There was a loud crack. Draco whipped around.

"Milly excuses herself, Master Draco. But your parents is wishing you downstairs very urgently."

Draco sighed, "Thank you Milly."

"You is welcome Master Draco," the house elf replied and with a crack she was gone.

Knowing that this might be his last chance to do so in the next two weeks Draco hurriedly found a spare piece of parchment and a quill.

'Dear Harry,

I have arrived safely at the Manor. I find myself missing you as each moment passes. I will try and write to you soon. I love you.

D. '

"Syren," Draco called, summoning the dark, chocolate coloured owl "this is for Harry. Ensure that he uses you to reply, not Hedwig." Syren gave a quiet hoot at the mention of Hedwig's name causing Draco smirked. "Do not let anyone read our letters other than us." Draco stroked the bird's feathers as he opened his window. "Good boy," he murmured and then the owl opened its wings and took off, flying into the night.

Draco quickly left his room and walked down the stairs into the drawing room. Christmas suddenly didn't seem that long ago. He prayed, prayed hard, that the Dark Lord was not there. With every cell that made him he begged for the odds to be in his favour just this once. Just this one time.

His hand hesitated on the door knob. The cold brass and the mahogany wood, the only things separating him from this moment. Grasping it, he turned it, ready to face whatever was behind it. He would face it for Harry. He had to. He pushed it forward; closing his eyes, taking a breath and then opening them again. He put the mask on: the one that Harry hated – the one that was vital for both of their lives.

There sat his mother, his father and…

No one else.

The relief was so great he could have cried. Instead he walked forward and sat down at the table where they too sat.

Draco looked at his father.

Lucius sat there with immaculate posture and composure. He looked at his son intently. His hands sat one on top of the other on the black, antique wooden table. His long blonde hair was behind his shoulders.

Lucius opened his mouth to speak but then closed it, changing his mind. What happened next happened so quickly even though Draco knew it was coming it was still a shock.

There was an echoing crack as Lucius' hand came in contact with Draco's cheek. He slapped Draco with such force that Draco's head snapped to the side. Surprise seeping through his mask.

Draco's cheek felt hot and it tingled, the sensation bittersweet. His head was still where Lucius had left it. Draco noticed all the dust that had collected on top of the mantelpiece. Slowly, he turned his head back around to face his parents. Only to receive another slap.

This time it hurt as the vacant surprise left room for pain. And the horrible thing, what made Draco feel so small and powerless and weak and helpless, was that he could not do anything other than submit to it.

The room was silent but his father's expression spoke more than words could. Draco had to bite back a laugh because when he asked himself how his father looked right now his answer was, 'really fucking angry.'

"I am disgusted," Lucius spat furiously "what has become of you? Your behaviour has been appalling and you have displayed the topmost disrespect to your mother and I. You should be ashamed. _Now_," Lucius glared at him, his voice now a low and dangerous snarl "you will reveal your intentions to me."

Draco gripped his own hands to hide the fact that they were trembling. What Draco was about to do he would never give himself enough credit for, for it was of the upmost act of bravery and courage. Admirable.

"Yes father, I shall." Draco complied. "However I only ask that you wait until I reveal absolutely everything before speaking."

Lucius stared at his son in disbelief and then rage. "You are in no position to be asking for anything!" He hissed.

"I only ask that you wait until I reveal absolutely everything before speaking," Draco repeated calmly.

His father looked at him in astonishment, unbelieving that his son would speak to him thus. It was his mother that responded to his request, "We will Draco."

He looked over at his mother, saddened by her oppression; angered by his father's control over her. "Do you promise?" he asked her, his voice a whisper. He felt like he was a child again. He needed her to be strong for him, he needed her to defend him – he needed his mother. Now more than ever had needed. All those times she failed to protect him, all those times she failed to keep him safe, all those times she failed him. He needed her now. He looked deep into her eyes. From one soul to another was the deepness of his request. From son to mother, mother to son.

"I promise," Narcissa told him softly.

He nodded. And then spoke.

"As soon as I knew the task the Dark Lord had allocated me I immediately began to design a strategy. I already possessed the knowledge of all of Potter's flaws and strengths particularly well as I had spent six years as his classmate. Things such as his need to save others, his need to be gallant and noble. Also other various things for example his talent in self-defence, his habit of rule breaking and his general air of arrogance. When I returned to Hogwarts I continued to conform with what was asked of me even though it did not seem like it. My logic told me that before I constructed any type of plan I first needed to work out the more complex things to Potter. And so I began my observations. I found many things, which I shall share all with you."

So far he had kept calm. His parents did not look pleased as they had not learnt anything new nor revealed what their son had been up to. Draco continued his report; he could almost imagine himself writing the title of 'Harry Potter' on it.

"Harry Potter is controlled by his emotions. He would sacrifice his life for his friends, not unlike the way his parents did for him. The death of his parents controls most of him whether he realises this or not. All of his actions are based around the decision that they made for him, for themselves, all those years ago. He was raised by his muggle relatives who are afraid of magic and who treated him poorly mainly through neglect. He was abused emotionally and physically and to this day it still impacts on him. He is also incredibly protective of those whom he loves. Even though he repeatedly loses the ones he loves this does not stop him from loving. This is both a flaw and an advantage. Another flaw of his is his blind trust to those he is close to. So from my observations I learned that he is emotionally intelligent and empathic. I also uncovered one other thing that others have failed to."

"And what would that be?" Lucius pursed calmly, but his impatience obvious. Draco felt the need to remind his father that he was not to speak but ignored it.

"His sexuality," Draco answered.

Not a breath could be heard.

"Potter?" His father asked, shocked. "He is…homosexual?"

"Yes," Draco replied.

His parents turned to look at each other and shared disbelieving glances. Draco decided to continue in case his father asked a question and that would ruin the way he had arranged his 'report'. He was too nervous to take in his father's reaction for possible future reference.

"I became aware of this simply because I was watching him so intently. And in watching him I realised that he was watching me – quite habitually and unusually. I monitored this. Potter made it exceedingly easy as he displays his emotions so openly, or openly enough for me to have made certain that I was correct. It took no longer than a week to confirm that he had feelings of attraction for me, and had had them for a long while."

Lucius' eyebrows rose with each passing moment and it made Draco sick to the stomach to try and imagine the thoughts being conceived in his father's head.

"In knowing this it uncomplicated my task greatly. I came to a solitary conclusion. The only possible way to earn Potter's trust is to let form an emotional bond. And this is what I did and what I have been doing."

His father's expression snapped into an entirely knew frame. Draco could almost see the hourglass that held the time that his father would remain silent. He did not have long at all. He could visualise the cogs in Lucius' head adding two and two together resulting in a horrifying conclusion. He now spoke directly to his father.

"While you have been demanding my submission to you, I have been submitting to the Dark Lord the whole time. I have not failed him, or you, as I have determinedly continued to persevere with my task each day. You can see now my unwillingness to write to you or respond to your letters as this is something that I wished to complete on my own. When I expressed that I was capable of doing this on my own it was not an endeavour to seem more proficient but my subtle message to you both that I was already passed my planning stage and in its heart."

He took a breath, and made a leap of faith, trusting in everything worth trusting in the world that after this he would still be allowed to live.

"I mentioned before that the only possible way to earn Potter's trust is to let form an emotional bond with him and this is what I did. I believe I have surpassed everyone's expectations by ensuring that by the end of the year I will have Harry Potter here. I have Potter wrapped around my fingers as he believes that I am in love with him."

There it was again, that silence. The one where Draco didn't know what would happen next. The time in the hourglass was up.

"And how has this come to be?" His father asked him. Lucius' voice was a raspy tone that Draco had never heard before, like he had something stuck in his throat. It almost sounded as if he was afraid to hear his son's answer.

"Naturally," Draco answered simply. Ironic how this answer was true. "Once I was certain of his feelings for me I feigned mine for his. From there we began seeing each other in secret. No one else knows about this, I have made sure of that. I have his trust and I have his heart. I have Harry Potter." He finished with a simple shrug. He felt horrible. Truly and utterly terrible. He felt like a repulsive person. All he wanted to do was disappear from this room, this life, and wake up to find he and Harry laying down together in another world all to themselves.

His mother spoke, "How long has this been taking place Draco?"

"Since the beginning of the school year," Draco lied smoothly "eight months."

"Why not a love potion?" his mother questioned.

Draco was prepared. "Amortentia is too conspicuous," he replied "it would not have allowed any secrecy or prudence. Likewise, Dumbledore keeps an irritatingly close eye on him."

"Too close for even you Draco?" His father challenged.

Draco stood his ground. "Yes," he answered "close enough that Snape, too, could not attempt anything."

Narcissa looked at her husband. "Lucius," she said in a quiet voice.

"Yes," he agreed. This was the only proof Draco had growing up as a child that his parents had some connection. Though it was not love, they had this uncanny ability to have an unspoken conversation through only looking at each other.

He turned to Draco. "What is…" Lucius stopped, trying to find the correct way to phrase his question. After a moment he seemed to give up and attempted to ask the question bluntly. "What occurs in this relationship?"

If Draco wasn't so overwrought he would have blushed in embarrassment. It would have been sorely appealing to reply, 'Well you'd know wouldn't you, as you're both in one?'. But if he had said that this involved love, at least half of the whole, then his parents' relationship would not be fitting.

"Trust building," Draco answered "I listen to him. He confides in me for everything: his academics, his friendships, his fears, his worries, his joys, his past, his thoughts." His touch, his love, his life, his time, his kisses, his care, his protection, his curing, Draco thought privately. He conveniently left out the meetings that Harry had with Dumbledore. "I know how to play the part, father and I play it well. He has never suspected a thing. Nor will he. I put on an authentic act that leaves no room for questioning."

His father still sported the expression one carries when they have been blown away by something shocking and surprising. In truth, Lucius could not believe that his son had gone to this extent and preformed it so convincingly. "And the…physical aspects of this relationship?" Lucius asked, suppressing a wince.

"Wouldn't you rather I spared you the details father?" Draco asked wryly.

This time Lucius could not hold back his cringe. "So…" he began, but then changed his mind. He was about to say something but Draco saved him the trouble and the embarrassment, not that he didn't deserve it.

"It is just sex," he shrugged "it means nothing to me." The lie hurt because it was so far from the truth. The intimacy he shared with Harry was something profound that he treasured. "As I said, I play my part well. Well enough to bury my feelings and focus on completing what has been asked of me." Narcissa averted her eyes down to the floor, avoiding her son's stare.

Sex used to be meaningless before he found Harry. He could only blame that on the absence of all forms of attachment in his childhood and as an infant. Even though it hurt to admit it, it was her fault. Their fault. They had so much to answer for. Harry knew this more than Draco did and if Draco knew all the times that the thought, 'They have so much to fucking answer for,' floated through Harry's head it he would be alarmed. Alarmed but grateful – he had someone who loved him that much.

Harry.

He loved him so much. This was truly killing him. It brought him pain but it had to be done.

He sat back as he watched his parents take all of this in. While they quietly discussed between themselves Draco saw what was going on but he wasn't watching. In his head he realised that he had done it. After all of these worrying months he had finally done it. Now, of course, there was a new challenge but he had overcome the previous one. His thoughts moved onto what would happen next. His father bet him to it.

"And this girl then?" His father demanded.

Draco frowned, not understanding. When had he mentioned a girl? "What girl are you referring to father?"

"That girl," his father said impatiently "the one whom you were seeing at the beginning of the year, before the Dark Lord's task?"

"Pansy," Draco lied smoothly.

"And it was Parkinson's daughter whom you spent Christmas with?" his father asked.

"No," Draco replied "I stopped seeing Pansy after I was given the task. She has been seeing Blaise since then."

"Zabini?"

Draco nodded, "Yes."

"And she did not question you?"

"Of course," Draco sighed "however it was not the first time we had ended things with each other. Pansy and I were never serious. She accepted it and moved on quickly, without any further difficulties."

"So you spent Christmas with Potter then?" His father pressed.

"Yes," Draco answered "it was to see how he behaved outside of Hogwarts. Everything went according to plan."

"Where did you go?"

Draco was becoming tired of the endless questions but he knew that it had to be done. "France." He did not mention Italy, it wasn't anyone else's business except for his and Harry's.

"How lovely," his father sneered.

"He seemed to think so," Draco agreed, ignoring his father's sarcasm "that was the purpose."

"How are you sure that he has not mentioned this to anyone, not even Dumbledore? Did you Imperise him?"

"There was no need to Imperise him," Draco said "I asked him not to and he has not said anything. I have him believe that I am afraid of publically announcing my choice of attraction. He is too afraid to lose me to breath a word to anyone, not even Dumbledore. Our 'agreement' is that he will not tell his friends if I do not tell mine. I can assure you, nothing has been said."

"I assume that you have been careful?" Lucius raised his eyebrow slightly.

"No one suspects anything," Draco confirmed "not even Snape or Dumbledore. We have never been caught."

"Never been 'caught'?" His father repeated enquiringly.

"We are in different houses," Draco reminded him "and we are supposed enemies, this is known by the whole of Hogwarts. This in addition with obvious secrecy means that we are unable to have a public relationship. Everything is done in secrecy; behind close doors, afterhours, clandestinely. As I stated, we have never been caught."

His father nodded. "And you Draco?"

"Father?"

"What are _your_ feelings towards the Potter boy?"

I love him.

"I would have thought that to be evident," Draco replied calmly, not letting him emotions give him away "I still despise him. But I am loyal to the Dark Lord and if this is what I must do to succeed then so be it. I will not fail Him, or our family. I have no feelings towards Potter."

"Are you lying to me Draco?" Lucius challenged "Because I can unmistakably see a change in you."

For anyone else, this would have rung alarm bells. Not that Draco wasn't frightened, he was. But he knew his father and this was Lucius being Lucius. 'You don't know anything,' Draco thought angrily to himself 'you're just bullshitting, hoping to find something that might be there. You're feeling around blindly – to your own son.'

"I have been under types of pressure that you have never experienced," Draco justified. It may have been a risky thing to say but it needed to be said. "Even though I have been given a task by the Dark Lord himself that threatens my life I still remain top of my class with perfect grades and no one doubts me any less. I have done things that would repulse you, that repulse _me_ and still I have done them for the sake of more than my life, for our name. You have no idea what I have been through. If you were me you would have changed also. If you could not see a change _then_ I would be worried that I am not doing my job well enough. But I am. Whether or not you tell me that I am or not I know I am. And I know that I will continue to."

Draco concluded by drawing breath. He looked at his parents, refusing to be patronised or hurt or ordered around or corrected. Draco was now a man compared to all those years ago where they could do that to him. And his father could see that to.

Lucius broke the silence.

"Draco," he began "I am pleased."

Draco blinked, like his vision had gone blurry. But it was fine. He felt confused all of a sudden. This bizarre feeling came over his as soon as his father said those words. He was seventeen years of age. He had been waiting all of his life to hear his father say those words. He remembered the nights where he wanted his father to come into his room and tell him that he was proud of him. He had yearned for it all his life. And yet now, as the words hung in the air, he couldn't take them. It was a strange feeling that was incredibly surreal. _This?_ _This_ was what it took for his father to tell him that he was pleased with him? Lucius was pleased that his son had done 'repulsive things for the Malfoy name'? Lucius was pleased that his son 'did not value relationships'. Lucius was pleased that his own son did not trust him enough to tell him this from the start? This is what pleased him? His son's discomfort? Was he pleased that the Dark Lord had essentially put his son on a death sentence? Was he pleased that Draco constantly looked unhappy whenever he was with him? After all this time of hungering to hear those words he had finally heard them.

Draco had never hated his father more than in this moment.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"So you understand Severus?" Voldemort asked him, his chalk white hand stroking the snake on his lap.

"Yes my Lord," Snape replied "it shall be done."

And it would be done…and it would change _everything_.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry took out his quill and began to respond to Draco's letter.

'_Dear Draco,_

_It doesn't feel like the holidays at all. I am studying all the time. Hermione keeps scowling at me because I am writing to you when I should be revising for my charms but Ginny is encouraging me to so that's okay. I recited Ospicious' Theorem perfectly and shocked everyone, you would have been proud. _

_Two weeks without you is proving as hard as I thought it would be. It's a shame because there are no classes so I have all this free time and nothing to _do_…_

_Miss you,_

_H.'_

"Syren?" Harry called. The dark owl had been in front of him just a few moments ago. There was a soft hoot behind him. He turned around to find Hedwig and Syren huddled up on a nearby perch hooting happily. Harry smiled and walked over to stoke both their feathers.

"Thank you," Harry whispered as he attached the letter to Syren's leg. Syren nuzzled his head against Harry's hand.

A week later Harry walked down the corridor of the seventh floor. It was quarter to seven in the evening. "You're early Potter," Pansy remarked. She stood alone with Blaise.

"And you're losing your touch," Harry retorted. Pansy stuck up her middle finger, Harry snorted. "Aren't the games supposed to be on the _first_ of every month?"

Pansy ignored him. When everyone arrived Ron whispered to him, "I cannot _believe _you got out of studying!" Harry chuckled as they all walked into the Room of Requirement.

"Rule number one," Pansy announced as everyone sat down on the couches that were all facing the middle "if anyone brings up exams or studying in a way that isn't cursing them I will kill you."

"Agreed," everyone nodded.

"Chill for a bit," Pansy said, addressing everyone "and then we'll get started."

Harry sat down with Pavarti and Ron while Hermione began to chat with Padma, Harry highly suspected they were breaking Pansy's rule.

"I'm just bloody glad that it's holidays," Ron sighed, sitting on the long couch.

"If you can even call them holidays," Pavarti said darkly.

Lavender, Ernie, Seamus and Terry boot took another couch. Neville, Hannah and Lavender joined Hermione and Padma, and Pansy and Blaise came to sit down next to them.

"This was literally McGonagall," Pansy said irritably as she began to impersonate her Transfiguration professor "Here are your two essays, write down this, this, this and this. And make it _this_ long," she stretched out her arms widely. Pansy huffed, "Salazar fuck me I was about to hex her. It' just so unfair."

"Too right," Harry agreed.

"You just don't like her because she reads out your sex notes," Pavarti smirked.

"Oh go annoy someone else would you Patil?" Pansy glared.

"Well aren't you the bitch?" Pavarti laughed.

"Yes," Pansy smiled sweetly "yes I am."

"Where's Ginny when you need her?" Pavarti grinned, turning to Harry.

Harry laughed. "True," he said.

"Where is _Draco_ when you need him?" Pansy said, turning to look at Blaise.

"At mummy and daddy's," Blaise sulked "gotten any letters from him?"

"No," Pansy snorted "you know as well as I do that his father has probably chained him up to a wall and left him there."

"What?" Harry asked, doing a double take.

"I'm speaking figuratively Potter," Pansy rolled her eyes.

"Is he in trouble with his parents?" Harry asked. Draco hadn't said anything to him. Why?

"Well he didn't look to happy to be leaving," Blaise explained "I would not be either. Especially if I'd been ignoring my father's letters all term."

Harry didn't know what to think. Draco had been ignoring letters from his father? Since when? Why had he not told him this? Harry's mind spun into question, piecing together all the strange or usual behaviour he could recall.

"Since when _is_ he happy to be with his parents?" Pansy asked her boyfriend.

"True. He hasn't said anything to me nor you and even though he hides everything…" Blaise said.

"…You can just tell." Pansy finished, agreeing.

"So how do you know something is wrong?" Harry pressed.

"We just _can_. Something's…odd." Pansy said. Then she frowned and said, "What is it to you Potter?"

"It's not, he's just trying to trying to make a conversation with you Parkinson. It's a tough task, give the man some credit." Harry turned his head to Pavarti. His mouth spread into a grin. She had just saved his arse without knowing it.

"You will never get a boyfriend with that annoying personality of yours," Pansy said coldly.

Pavarti burst out laughing, Harry joined in too. Pansy raised her eyebrow, not understanding why that was amusing. Pavarti wiped her eyes, "Oh Parkinson, you make me laugh."

"Let's get started," Pansy said, getting up from the couch "being in the proximity of Gryffindors is making me nauseas."

"What are we doing?" Seamus called out. Blaise snorted and Pansy smacked him on the head.

"We are playing a game," Pansy began.

"What kind of game?" Dean asked.

"Is it a fun game?" Lavender questioned.

"I hope it's not a board game."

"Hey," Ron frowned "board games are fun."

"No they're not," Pavarti sighed.

"Chess is fun," Ron reasoned.

"No it's not," Seamus said.

"It is more a game of logic and strategical planning than a game of fun," Padma commented.

"I _love_ Quidditch Quiz," Nott told everyone, they all have him a look of questioning "what? I'm just saying."

Pansy sighed, not happy that she had been interrupted. "We are playi–"

"Is it spin the bottle again?" Terry Boot asked.

"No," Pansy huffed impatiently "it's–"

"Bobbing for apples?" Dean asked, his magic-free childhood being evident.

"What?" Pansy asked squinting at him like his image wasn't clear.

"Exploding Snap?" Pavarti guessed with a grin. She was immensely enjoying the fact that Pansy was becoming so irritated.

"No, it's not that type of game!" Pansy exclaimed.

"Oh okay," Pavarti nodded "I understand now. It's more like Nervous." Harry put his hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter.

"Sacred Salazar, would you all just–"

"Let me just stop you right there," Dean said, interrupting her yet again "if this is Witches Treasure 2 you can count me out."

"I hate that game," Seamus agreed.

"Witches Treasure 1 was so much better," Lavender nodded.

Pavarti couldn't wipe the grin off her face. "I don't like any of the games similar to that either. All that crap like Wand Battleship, Morgana's Tomb, Warlock's Journey, J.A.F, Hex Files. Just doesn't do it for me."

Harry swore Pansy's hand twitched towards her wand. He caught Hermione's eye and they both shared a smirk.

"So help me the next person who talks I will curse them into a bloody oblivion," Pansy threatened. Everyone effectively shut up. "We are playing murder in the dark."

"Love awkward games," Pavarti whispered merrily. Harry chuckled. Five minutes later all the lights had be turned off. They were allowed to keep their wands but they would be confiscated if _lumos_ was used.

"Patil," Pansy called out "you're starting."

"Which one?" Padma and Pavarti called out together.

"The annoying one," Pansy answered.

"You'll need to be specific Parkinson," Pavarti replied.

"_You_."

Pavarti grinned. "Okay, I'm ready."

"Oh and by the way," Pansy said loudly "the room will gradually shrink until someone is caught."

Everyone went silent. Harry quietly tiptoed to his left. He could hear someone breathing. Just then Harry heard Pansy issue a squeak.

"Zabini keep your hands to yourself," Pavarti called out "I can hear your tongues jutting from across the room. Pansy and Blaise both scuttled off into another corner. A few footsteps could be heard. Harry walked backwards slowly until he hit something solid – the wall. He decided it was safe to stay up against it.

Someone sneezed and another person burst out laughing. Harry stepped to the left a bit more. He felt something pushing him. He realised that the walls were moving in. Harry frowned to himself; being in the dark was so frustrating! He put his hands out to feel around. It was only then that he felt where he was – in a corner. He strained his ears to hear sound.

Harry almost jumped out of his skin. He was unsure how he managed not to let out a cry of surprise. He had felt something brush up against him unexpectedly.

"Who is this?" whispered a scared voice.

Harry let out a relieved sigh. "Neville it's me, Harry." He replied in the same quiet tone.

"Oh, hi Harry," Neville breathed, his anxiety lessening.

The room continued to shrink, forcing sounds to be made.

"Who is this?" Pansy asked, her hands touching and pinching Harry's face and hair.

"Oi! Geroffme Parkinson!" Harry hissed quietly.

"Oh, it's you Potter," Pansy sighed.

"Now you've gone and smudged my glasses!" Harry said angrily.

"You can't see in this darkness anyway you idiot," Pansy retorted. Harry moodily muttered _scourgify _on his glasses and put them back in place, pushing them up the bridge of his nose.

"Shhh!" Blaise hissed.

"This is awfully uncomfortable," came a voice.

"Hermione?" Harry whispered.

"Oh Harry, there you are. Ron, Harry's here too." Hermione uttered.

"Hey Harr– Oi! Watch it Lavender!"

"Sorry!" Lavender muttered.

"Bring everyone into the one spot," Pansy murmured sarcastically "why aren't we all as clever as Gryffindors?"

"Because we're Ravenclaws," Terry Boot answered.

"Don't you have a book to read Boot?" Zabini sighed.

"No, I'm fairly certain that I've read them all." Terry replied.

"Everyone shut up," Dean Thomas insisted.

The room was now uncomfortably tight. Harry was pressed awkwardly up against Ron who was pressed awkwardly against Lavender who was pressed awkwardly against Seamus.

"Keep your hands off me Nott!" Pansy hissed.

"There's no where else to put them!" Nott snapped back "It's not my fault your boobs are filling up the whole space."

"Would you prefer I removed your hands for you?" Zabini suggested coldly. Nott gulped and shut up.

"Merlin!" Ron squeaked "Who did that?"

"Sorry!" Lavender repeated frantically "Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!"

"Brown, put a cork in it would you? And stop feeling up Weasley, it's an incredibly disturbing image." Pansy huffed.

Hermione frowned and sulked grumpily. Harry let out an, 'Oomph!' as the room squished them together even tighter.

"I am not!" Lavender snapped.

"You are t–" Pansy stopped mid-retort and emitted a high pitched, blood curdling, panicked scream. Everyone jumped in shock clutching their hearts as if Pansy's shriek had jolted electricity through them all.

Pavarti burst out laughing. She fell onto the floor clutching her stomach. As the tears streamed down her face the room returned to its original size, everyone took in a deep breath of air. The lights came on, highlighting Pansy's enraged features – which Pavarti didn't miss.

"No, no, no stop!" Pavarti begged Pansy, who was merely looking at her furiously "That was fucking hilarious! The sound you made, oh Godric that was gold!"

"I don't get it," Seamus said, looking as lost as everyone else.

"Makes ten of us," Ron muttered.

Pavarti regained herself and stood up. "The first person I touch is it," she explained "and I touched Pansy."

"'Touched' is a fucking understatement," Pansy snarled, which only made Pavarti start laughing again "more like molested!"

"I pinched your arse," Pavarti shrugged "not my fault you're so sensitive."

"Of fuck off," Pansy hissed.

"Well whatever, it's still your turn."

"We're playing a different game now," Pansy announced.

"How convenient for her," Pavarti muttered to Harry who grinned. He was seriously grateful that Pavarti was with him tonight. For one, she took his mind off missing Draco and she was a laugh too.

"Hide and Seek," Pansy continued. Everyone looked at each other excitedly. Hide and Seek was an all round favourite.

"Here's the thing," Pansy said "dormitories are out of bounds as is outside of the castle. I'll be giving you all charmed coins." As they were handed out she continued to brief them all, "They'll vibrate if you're out of the boundaries of the games; so certain floors or rooms or places. And, they'll get hot when everyone has been found and we're to meet back here. Has everyone got it or are you all stupider than I assumed?"

They all gave her withering looks but nodded.

"100, 99, 98…"

They all highly resembled a wild stampede in the Savannah Dessert as they raced to evacuate the Room of Requirement.

"I'm going to the dungeons!" Ron shouted.

"If you can get there first Weasley," Zabini shouted back as he raced Ron.

"I'm off to the third floor," Nott announced.

"What a retard," Pavarti snorted. She turned to Harry, "I'm going to the charms classroom with Padma and Lavender, you go to the transfiguration classroom."

"I can't," Harry shook his head "Hermione, Hannah and Neville are going there."

"I've gotta run," she said, giving him an apologetic look "good luck Harry!"

With that she sprinted off with her sister and Lavender. Harry kept running and running until he felt the coin in his pocket vibrate indicating he was out of bounds.

Harry didn't know where to hide. He thought this to be quite funny because it was a castle – there were a million places to hide. As many places as there were stars in the sky. Stars…

The Astronomy Tower!

Harry ran as fast as he could. Eventually he arrived in the deserted tower, panting and about to cough up a lung. He clutched the side of his stomach, he had his hand pressing against it to try and manage the monster of a stitch that he had. He closed the hatch that obscured the entrance and walked over to the floor that had cushions scattered all around. Sitting on one, he decided that this was a good place to catch up on his thoughts.

Firstly, Draco had been receiving letters from his father, which he had been ignoring. According to Pansy Parkinson. Harry knew she wasn't the world's most reliable source. He made himself promise that when he asked Draco about this, and he would, he would not jump to conclusions and he would let Draco explain himself.

But there was still that _feeling_! That feeling that Harry had. That gut instinct that he had learnt to trust. He felt that something wasn't right. What Pansy had told him strangely sounded very possible because Harry, too, had noticed something change within the blonde. Ever since…when? Harry thought hard. When had all this begun? Christmas? No. Well, if he was being honest with himself he would have to say when school started. Before then Draco had been more…relaxed. From the time they had begun their relationship Harry had worked hard to melt the ice that constantly froze around Draco like a harsh layer. And they had had time together when all that ice was gone. It had been an amazing few months. But…wait. The more that Harry thought about it the more he realised that ever since the summer holidays Draco _had_ changed. Harry did not love him any less, not at all; in fact the more time that passed the more that Harry fell even deeper into a hopeless state of unique and beautiful love with the Slytherin. But there was a change. What had brought it on?

Harry sighed, he needed to have that conversation and he groaned just thinking about it; it would _not_ be easy. Actually, it would most likely end with them wanting to kill each other. For something different. Would they _ever_ be able to have a civil argument? Harry smirked, of course not. Did he really want all of that so close to their anniversary?

It made him think; they hadn't argued for a while. Odd. Not that it was a bad thing, Harry certainly wasn't complaining. Harry's arms wrapped around his waist, he wished that they were Draco's arms around him, holding him. Draco had been gone for only a week and he missed him so much. He missed the way he would touch him. He missed how the Slytherin's eyes would search for him in class or in the Great Hall, just to check he was okay. He missed the feeling of safety that he had by just knowing that Draco was near him, even if they were on different sides of the castle. Sometimes, due to their timetable or to the amount of studying or Quidditch practise they had they would not see each other for a week, sometimes more. But that was okay because Harry knew that Draco was safe, that he was there if he went searching for him, if he went calling for him. And–

There was a loud BANG as the hatch swung open forcefully. Ron, Hermione, Neville and Hannah were all rushing to get to the room where Harry was.

Harry's eyes widened as he hurried to get up from the fall, afraid of being trampled. "Woah!" Harry said.

"Oh hi Harry," Hannah smiled.

"Hi Hannah," Harry replied, returning the smile.

"We were all running to the Transfiguration classrooms when we heard Pansy in there already," Ron explained, his face red from running "and so we thought here was an alright spot."

"It's very nice up here," Hannah commented, walking outside onto the balcony. She was right, there were thousands of stars in the black sky – pin pricks of white light.

"Do you take Astronomy?" Hermione asked Hannah.

Hannah nodded. "I'm not very good at it," she confessed "but it's a lovely subject."

"It would be good if you could make a career out of it," Hermione said "but I can't seem to think of anything remotely life-altering that requires Astronomy." Hannah nodded in agreement.

"I don't really like heights," Neville admitted to Ron and Harry, who promptly laughed in response. Being Quidditch players, neither of them really minded heights.

After about ten minutes their coins started to become hot, very hot. "Time to meet," Ron sighed, getting himself up from his cushion on the floor. They all walked down together to the room of requirement.

"Who did they find first?" Harry asked Seamus.

"Nott," Seamus replied. Harry nodded.

Nott covered his hands over his eyes and begun counting. "100…99…98…"In a matter of seconds everyone vanished from the room, it was really quite extraordinary. It was also quite hilarious at the same time; seventeen-year-old adults playing Hide and Seek like a bunch of three year olds.

Harry passed the teacher's lounge area and tiptoed quietly away from it. He couldn't even imagine the look on his face if Snape were to catch them, _all_ of them after hours. He saw an empty broom cupboard and quickly shut himself inside of it.

He swiftly muttered _lumos_ and breathed a sigh of relief that it was a rather large cupboard. His mind thought back to the time where Draco had discovered his fear of tight spaces. He was rather proud of himself that he and moved on from that. It had taken him a while but he had worked at it and in doing so learned a lot about himself. He had not only moved on from claustrophobia but he had moved on from his fear of his family – the Dursleys. He was no longer afraid of them. In fact, he pitied that they were unable to love the way he could.

Suddenly he heard something outside the door. He whispered, "_Nox!_" and his wand-light was extinguished. The door of the cupboard opened and then shut, long enough for someone to enter the cupboard with him.

"W–who is it?" Harry asked.

"I'll give you three guesses Potter," the voice replied.

"Draco?" Harry gasped.

"Hello," Draco smiled, though this could not be seen through the darkness. Harry threw his arms around him, bringing him into a bone-crushing embrace. Draco would have complained about that he needed breathe but in this moment he didn't need air – just Harry. He hugged him back and breathed in the Gryffindor's scent.

"I missed you," Harry whispered.

Draco swallowed. He had missed Harry too, so much more than Harry could ever know. Being away from him had been so incredibly hard. Not knowing if he was okay had been terrible.

"I missed you too," Draco whispered back.

Harry pulled away. "What are you doing here so early?"

"Mother and father decided to send me back," Draco shrugged "I can't imagine why. Perhaps it was because all I did was sulk and hide in my room." Draco smirked.

At the mention of Draco's parents Harry remembered. "Draco?" he asked tentatively "Pansy said that you're in trouble with your parents, that you've been ignoring letters from your father." He didn't ask the question – he didn't need to.

Draco sighed; he knew something like this would happen sooner or later. "My father wants me to move into the Manor with him after I leave Hogwarts," he lied "I have tried to explain to him that I do not want to but he kept insisting. So I ignored his letters. I decided that I should go home for the break and confront him and I did. Everything is sorted out. I do no care how bad of an idea you think it was or how mad you are that I didn't tell you. Right now, I haven't seen you in over a week and if you don't have any protests I'm going to kiss you now."

When Harry didn't say anything Draco leaned in and captured his lips in a sweet kiss. Harry sighed happily as Draco's tongue ran over his bottom lip. Harry opened his mouth giving Draco access. How he had missed this, Draco's tongue sliding next to his. The Slytherin's hand came up to Harry's chin and Draco ran his thumb along Harry's jaw before cupping it gently. Their mouths moved together in that familiar way. Harry was dizzy from the lack of oxygen but he didn't care, he craved Draco's kiss more.

"Can you imagine the Christmas Holidays if we hadn't have spent them together?" Draco asked, breathing hard.

Harry couldn't imagine it. That would have been _too_ long. "I still get hard when I think about you with eyeliner on," Harry admitted with a smirk.

Draco grinned. "Oh really?"

"Really," Harry breathed huskily.

"Well I still get hard thinking about how good you look when I fuck you in the rain," Draco told him "how you look when the water drips off your lips." Harry crashed his lips on Draco's, kissing him furiously. The cupboard was filled with the sounds of them kissing roughly. Draco's eyes suddenly shot open, Harry realised at the same moment too and they both sprang apart half a second before the cupboard door swung opened.

"Move over!" Lavender exclaimed.

Harry rushed to squish himself into the furthest corner, as did Draco. "Keep going, we've gotta get in too!" Ron urged.

"Sorry we have intruded on your hiding spot Harry," Padma apologised.

"S'alright," Harry chocked, Draco was pushed up against him.

"She was right on us," Pavarti explained "I don't even know how we got away."

"Well it's not exactly as if she's clever," Hermione pointed out. Ron laughed.

"That _is_ my best friend you are talking about," Draco drawled.

"Malfoy?" Pavarti asked in surprise "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be with your parents?"

"Yes thank you Patil, I am well aware of where I am assumed to be. Although it is none of your business I returned to Hogwarts early." Draco said.

"Umm…how many people are in here?" Harry asked his voice muffled by someone's head in his face.

"Uhh," Ron said.

"There is Ron, Pavarti, Padma, Lavender, Neville, Hannah, Malfoy and myself." Hermione reeled off.

Harry huffed. Nine people in one cupboard – joyful.

"So," Lavender said awkwardly.

"Weasley?" Draco asked.

"What?"

"Please remove your hand from my crotch before I magically remove it for you."

Ron reacted like he had been burned. He yanked his hand away from Malfoy only to elbow Padma who jumped on Neville's foot.

"Ouch!" Padma and Neville moaned.

"Sorry!" Ron exclaimed.

"That wasn't Ron's hand…" Harry whispered in a low voice in Draco's ear. Draco shuddered. Harry was not heard however because at the same time Ron shouted.

"I didn't mea– aarrrgghh!"

He was forced to stop his apology because the cupboard door was pulled open, causing everyone to spill out and fall on top of each other as a heap on the floor. Someone's foot stepped on Harry's hand making his eyes water in pain. He was pretty sure that Hermione let out a shriek and that Hannah was squashed underneath them all. They all fumbled around, trying desperately to get up and detangle themselves.

"Found you," Nott said triumphantly. He pointed to Blaise who had not been hiding with them, "I found Zabini first, so he's counting."

Zabini looked very unhappy. "Babe, don't look so down." Pansy smirked. "I think it's exciting that I'm hiding and you're seeking."

"Baby there is no where you can hide where I won't find you," Blaise winked at Pansy. Pavarti made a gagging sound.

"Draco!" Pansy exclaimed "What are you doing here?"

"Mother and father allowed me to return to Hogwarts early," Draco explained for what was the third time that night.

Pansy gaped at him disbelievingly. "Are you joking my tits?"

"It is lovely to see you too Pansy," Draco rolled his eyes.

Pansy continued to stare at him in amazement. "How the fuck did you manage that? Oh no…you didn't Imperise them did you?"

"No!" Draco exclaimed "That is absurd!"

"Then how are you here?" she exclaimed.

Draco sighed. "They simply let me return Pansy."

"Oh," Pansy said, nodding as if she understood something everyone else didn't "I see. We'll talk about it later."

Draco brought his fingers of to the bride of his nose and closed his eyes, shaking his head.

Blaise closed his eyes and crossed his arms. "One…two…three," he mumbled.

Everyone bottled, scuttling in different directions. Draco gave Harry a look and Harry knew what it meant. Draco ran in a different direction to everyone else and Harry followed him, after checking to make sure that no one was watching. Draco was _fast_. It didn't surprise Harry though; Draco was fast at a lot of things. He chuckled cheekily to himself. Harry was interested into where Draco was leading him. Before he knew it they were in the great hall. Draco grabbed his hand and pulled him underneath the Slytherin table. Harry very nearly hit his head. Draco muttered some obscuring charms before Harry impatiently pulled Draco on top of him.

"Don't talk," Harry gasped, "just snog me."

Draco couldn't even manage a grin because his lips were on Harry's. Draco brought their hips together, Harry let out a throaty groan. They explored each other's mouths, a place they knew so well yet a place to be constantly rediscovered. Harry's hand wove into Draco's hair. He grasped it, pulling Draco's head back to deepen the kiss. Draco moaned deeply. It was strange how butterflies moved in Draco's stomach. It was those same butterflies that Draco had felt when he first kissed Harry, when he first fell in love, when they had first touched, when they had first made love. Now he was feeling again. Why? What first was this?

This was the first time Draco had been away not knowing whether or not he would have come back. Now that he was back, he knew it would be almost impossible to leave.

Draco took Harry's leg and wrapped it around his waist and then trailed his hand along the Gryffindor's neck. Harry shivered at the touch.

"Stop," Harry muttered, resting his head back and took in a few deep breaths to calm himself. He knew that they didn't have time to really _do_ anything and neither of them needed any 'problems' tonight.

"Sorry," Draco panted.

Harry smiled breathlessly, "Don't be."

Draco couldn't help it his lips were on Harry's in an instant kissing him wildly again. His hands entangling with the dark hair.

"I'm sorry," Draco repeated.

"For what?" Harry said in between pecks.

"For leaving you," Draco replied "for going away."

"But you had to," Harry frowned "what are you talking about?"

"I know I did," Draco said, brushing the hair out of Harry's eyes. And he did. He had to go, to sort things out; and that's what he was sorry about – he was sorry he did what he did even though it was the only thing to do. "But I'm just sorry that I left you."

"I was fine," Harry smiled, even though he had missed Draco terribly and had worried about him.

_But I wasn't_, Draco thought.

Harry's smile disappeared in an instant, telling Draco that he had verbalised his thought unintentionally. "Why weren't you fine?" Harry demanded.

_Because I was scared, because I was frightened, because I was in danger…_we_ were in danger._ "Because I was away from you," Draco answered. He spoke truthfully, "I don't want to let you go."

Harry's eyes searched Draco's face for some sign of clarity. He found nothing except that something was very wrong. His instinct was to comfort him. "Come here," he whispered. He brought Draco's head to his chest and wrapped his arms around Draco, holding him close. He stroked Draco's beautiful blonde hair. "What happened when you were gone?" he asked softly "Why are you upset?"

Draco sighed into Harry's chest. It was one of his most favourite places to be. With Harry's arms around him he felt safe. He felt loved. He felt protected. He could hear Harry's heartbeat beneath his head and it was that that comforted him the most. It soothed him and made him feel content.

"It doesn't matter," Draco said "I'm home now."

Harry hugged him tighter, just to let him know that he was indeed home – because he was safe in his arms. He wanted so badly to fix everything, to make all of Draco's worries go away. He knew that Draco would come to him in time, so why was he so anxious or hurried to get Draco to tell him? Did he feel that didn't have much time left? No, that was stupid. Nothing was going to happen – because no one knew. He frowned, why would he think that they didn't have long? It was very…random? Coincidental? Unexpected? Was Draco having these thoughts too? Is that what was unnerving him?

"Draco?" Harry said.

"Hmm?"

"What…what's scaring you?" Harry asked uncertainly.

Draco thought about this. Truthfully? A lot of things. Sometimes he thought them too many to list. "That something bad will happen," he replied honestly "because something bad always seems to happen."

Harry thought to all the people he loved and how he always did seem to end up losing them. "They do don't they?" Harry said quietly. After a while Harry said, "But not this time. I won't let it."

Draco didn't answer. He simply wriggled his body up closer to Harry's face and kissed him. Minutes could have passed, hours, maybe days, but the coins in their pockets began to burn and they knew it was time to go.

If Snape did not have to so urgently go to meet the Headmaster he would have given every single one of those sixth year's a months detention. He thought is amusing how none of them suspected that that the teachers knew what was going on. After all, they too had all been sixth years once. However, he ignored that desire as he stood in front of Dumbledore.

"But–" Snape exclaimed. Dumbledore held up a hand to stop him.

"Oh Severus," he said, smiling as he looked out onto the moonlit lake "I have known since before even then."

"And what the Dark Lord has planned for _you_? What say you about that Dumbledore?" Snape snapped.

His eyes did not lift from the lake, he watched the black water ripple on the surface. "I say," he replied "that I am ready. And now Severus, you must be too. Sit, we have much to discuss."

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Draco sat down stiffly on the chair in front of the Headmaster's desk. His eyes scanned his surroundings. He decided he would only speak if spoken to directly. Firstly, because it was not he who had arranged this and secondly, because he had too much to hide.

"Good evening Draco," Dumbledore said with a warm smile. The Slytherin nodded in response and waited for him to continue. "How has your year been so far?"

Draco blinked in surprise. He jolted out of his controlled demeanour for a moment as the question took him off guard. Small talk was the last thing he had been expecting.

This year had been many things…but one thing it wasn't was over.

"Fine sir," Draco replied with as little emphasis to detail as possible.

"Splendid, splendid," Dumbledore said cheerfully and then added "please forgive my casual manner Draco however I am waiting for another person to join us tonight. Their lateness has a qualified reason I am sure."

Draco's face tightened; who were they waiting on? Snape? His father? What was going on? A thousand questions prickled his mind. Dumbledore spotted Draco's worry. "There is no need to be worried Draco," he assured him kindly "I will explain in a moment. Please pardon the lack of information I am giving you. However," Dumbledore smiled and placed his hands in his lap "I never waste a moment therefore I would like to ask you a question."

Once again Draco nodded and eyed the Headmaster cautiously. "Is there anything you wish to tell me Draco?" Dumbledore asked. The seriousness in his voice was expressed by his sombre tone, though the question came across warmly and invitingly. However, the blonde took no notice of this. No, all Draco saw was a dart being directly aimed at his centre. The thing about having a secret is the paranoia that builds up over time. That constant feeling that you have; when someone asks you a question you always think that they _know_; or when someone looks at you, you always think 'they know'. The poisonous thoughts ran through him turned his blood glacial. He didn't even both with useless questions such as how or why or when, all he thought was 'he does…Dumbledore knows'. This inferno raged behind the cool, well-practised façade that Draco kept his emotions in.

"Sir?" he finally asked, making sure to look confused.

"Anything that is on your mind," Dumbledore replied airily "anything that is troubling you."

This was his chance. But it was also no one else's battle but his, "No sir." His voice was final.

Dumbledore nodded, "Very well." There was a knock that came from on the other side of the door. "Come in," Dumbledore called out merrily. The door opened slowly and Draco's initial thought was relieved, '_oh, it's only him_.' This was replaced by a fearful thought of '_why has he asked both Harry and I into his office together?_'

Harry's expression of furrowed eyebrows mirrored Draco's confusion. Harry walked into the office and sat down in the chair beside Draco. Harry had many questions but only allowed a brief shared glance between him and his boyfriend.

"I'm sorry I'm late professor," Harry apologised, he was breathing quite fast as if he had been running "I was held up in my common room."

"Not to worry my dear boy," Dumbledore waved away "not to worry." He regarded them now both, "I am sure you are wondering why I have called you both here tonight."

"Yes sir," Harry answered. Draco noted just how comfortable Harry was around Dumbledore.

"Well I shall not hold you in suspense any longer. I have two matters to discuss with you tonight." They waited for him to continue. "In regards to the first matter, I understand the difficulties that accompany your relationship, however I simply ask that you both limit yourselves to within the castle walls afterhours. I'm afraid that the rules still apply to you both even though you are of age." Dumbledore said to them.

Silence.

The boys felt their bodies lock. Harry sucked in an almost inaudible shocked gasp of air. Draco tensed in his seat. The feeling was quite surreal, dreamlike almost. Largely because it was unexpected. They felt pure shock. There was no room in their bodies to feel anything else because the astonishment was so great. Their minds exploded as a tide wave of thought crashed and flooded them. _Dumbledore knows. How long has he known for? What does he think. Who has he told? How does he know? Does anyone else know? When did he find out? How did he find out? What will he do?_

Harry and Draco both had their mouths parted slightly in disbelief. Their eyes turned to the side and their heads followed them as they turned to look at each other. The look screamed silent horror. Turning back to Dumbledore Harry stammered, "Y–You know?"

"Yes," the old wizard smiled gently.

Harry couldn't help the small smile that spread on his face. He felt warm. Happy. Relieved. Like he could breathe properly for the first time in his life. Everything was okay, because Dumbledore knew and nothing could happen. If Harry could have placed this secret in the hands of someone he was glad that it was him. Harry was now one step closer to the perfect future he longed for with Draco.

Draco had swerved the entirely opposite way. They had been so careful, how was it that Dumbledore knew? Had his father told Snape, and he in turn told Dumbledore? No, that was impossible. Snape was on the Dark Lord's side. Draco felt suddenly intruded upon. He kept his love with Harry very private and he felt as if it was now a public affair. As he turned to look at Harry and saw the Gryffindor's face alight Draco wondered if maybe this was a good thing after all? It sort of hit him then. He noticed that knowing that Dumbledore knew was very different to knowing that his parents knew. And in knowing that, knowing that difference, Draco knew that it was okay that Dumbledore knew. And if Dumbledore knew that could ruin everything.

"How do you know?" Draco asked.

Dumbledore smiled at him.

"My dear boy," Dumbledore said in a gentle tone "I would not make a very good Headmaster if I did not know what my students got up to, especially when they are supposed to be in the safety of their warm beds, would you not agree?"

As it were rehearsed, Harry and Draco's mouths both dropped open in shock horror at the same time. They turned both Gryffindor red.

"Sorry sir," Harry mumbled.

"As long as no harm comes to the both of you, it is alright Harry." Dumbledore replied kindly.

"How…how _long_ have you known for?" Harry asked.

"Well, if I am correct," Dumbledore said "I believe that there is a special celebration arising in this month?"

"Since the _start_?" Harry gaped.

"Yes Harry," Dumbledore smiled again "since the very start."

_This…is…bad_, was what Draco thought. _Very, very bad_. He sat there, still rigid. Harry turned to look at him and a worried expression came over his face when he saw Draco sitting there like he had just seen a ghost.

"Draco?" Harry asked carefully "Are you okay?"

Before Draco could answer that he looked at Dumbledore. "You cannot tell anyone," he said, his voice filled with warning, fear and severity "especially my parents and even more so Snape."

"Draco," Dumbledore said, returning Draco's gaze "you have my word that I shall not tell professor Snape nor your parents, for that is yours and yours entirely to do. You have my word." He repeated.

Harry knew how Draco felt about this. So he entwined his fingers with Draco's He squeezed his hand so that Draco would know that it was okay. Draco looked at him. "It's alright," Harry smiled "I promise."

Draco swallowed and nodded. He trusted Harry and…he…trusted Dumbledore. At least only a little bit, but that was enough for now.

"The second reason sir?" Draco asked.

"Ah yes," Dumbledore nodded "now Draco I am sure that you are aware that Harry and I have been meeting regularly?"

_How could I not?_ Draco thought wryly. _It has interrupted us on more than one occasion._ "Yes sir," Draco replied.

"And Harry I trust that you have not told Draco the reason for our meeting?" Dumbledore asked.

"No I haven't sir," Harry answered.

Dumbledore nodded, satisfied. "Very good," he said. He looked at Draco, "I apologise Draco that I am unable to enlighten you on our meetings, though I am sure you understand."

And Draco did, after all, everyone had their secrets. Draco knew this only too well. If Dumbledore was not going to tell about him then he would not ask about this. "I do sir," Draco said sincerely.

"Harry," now the Headmaster looked at the raven-haired boy "you know what we must do once the year ends."

"Yes sir," Harry nodded.

"I am afraid that Draco will be unable to come with you," Dumbledore said. Harry's eyes widened and his grip on Draco's hand tightened.

"But…why?"

"My Dark Mark," Draco said with hesitation.

"What about it?" Harry frowned, not understanding.

"I am able to be tracked via it," Draco explained.

_Why do I have the feeling that you've thought about this before?_ Harry thought to himself as he looked at Draco. _Is it because you don't know what we're talking about but yet you know that you will be a liability to me? Is it because you said it so quickly and surely? Is it because ever since you came back I've been worried something is going on?_

"Yes," Dumbledore said softly.

"How long?" Draco asked "How long will he be away."

Dumbledore sighed, "However long it takes."

Draco nodded. "I understand," Draco said. He did not want Harry away from him. Now his thoughts were to how would the task work now? If Harry escaped he would have nothing to give to the Dark Lord. Not that he was going to give Harry in the first place. But now suddenly, his own death seemed that much more certain. He didn't have long.

"Please tell me that you're not okay with this," Harry said to him, shocked that Draco had just said that. He desperately needed to know that Draco was not okay with them being apart for however long this might take.

"Of course I'm not," Draco said, frowning. Why would Harry think that he would be okay with them being separated for so long? "If I can't be with you how I am I to know you are okay?"

Then he reminded himself that the dead knew nothing, only that – nothingness. Perhaps it were better if Harry left when he would. After all, Draco's death would be quite and Harry most likely would not know until he had returned, which would be better. The thing was, and they had had this discussion, if one of them died the other might as well too. Because that's how it would feel. He didn't want to hurt him like that. But there was nothing that could be done. He just had to stay strong until the end.

"You won't," Harry said. The words filled the silence. This was just another part of it all, another part of being Harry Potter. There were sacrifices left, right and centre and they were never pleasant. Would he have to end it with Draco during their time away? To keep him safe? The thought burned in his head. It made him sick to the stomach to think of Draco hurt. He would do whatever it took to keep him safe. So then would he? Would he break it off? He didn't want to. He knew Draco would disapprove, actually now that he thought about it Draco would most likely hit him over the head for 'being utterly ridiculous' and then they would kiss and have amazing s–

"Harry?" Draco called.

"Sorry," Harry said, trying him hardest to keep the blush off his cheeks. "Draco?" Harry asked "What do you think?"

He thought that he loved him that's what he thought. But he felt incredibly private over his relationship and he didn't say that in front of Dumbledore.

"I think," Draco began "that you're the Chosen One–"

"Don't," Harry warned him "you know I hate that."

Draco raised an eyebrow, "Oh I'm sorry, do _you_ want to tell me what I think?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "No," he grumbled.

"Can I continue?" Draco asked him.

"Yes," Harry said shortly.

"I think that you're the Chosen One and as much as that comes with a lot of hardships you have a job to do. And if I know you as well as I do, I know that you won't rest until it's done. I also know that if anyone can do it you can, whatever it is because you are the bravest person I know. And it will be alright because we'll be together again…eventually." It was those last few words that almost killed Draco to say, because they would be together again. Maybe not when Harry got back, or in twenty years from now, but eventually.

Harry rubbed his thumb over the top of Draco's hand lovingly, Draco looked down and it and then back up into Harry's bright green eyes.

"I think that Draco has said it perfectly," Dumbledore said, interrupting the spark between them.

"But what about you?" Harry asked suddenly, looking at his boyfriend.

"What about me?" Draco asked.

"Are _you_ going to be okay?" Harry was genuinely concerned. Draco gave him a look. "No I'm serious Draco."

"I can take care of myself Harry," Draco said firmly.

"No you can't," Harry said, equally as firm.

"I can _manage_ myself," Draco said, sighing a bit at his boyfriend's stubbornness.

"That's not enough," Harry told him.

"It will do," Draco said.

"Not for me it won't," Harry said, shaking his head.

"Well it will have to," Draco said decisively "sometimes you need to realise that your focus is needed on something more important."

Harry flinched at that. That had hurt – nothing was more important than Draco. Draco reaslied this too.

"Harry," he began with a sigh.

"Just drop it," Harry said looking away.

"No now _I'm_ being serious," Draco said sharply, pulling on Harry's hand so that he would look at him "I may be everything to you but I'm not everything to the whole world and obviously being the Chosen One that is who you will be saving. Just because you do your duty properly or put everything you have got into it doesn't mean that you love me any less. If that means leaving me for a while, or not keeping in touch while you are gone or hiding us from everyone to protect me then so be it. It doesn't show that you care for me less than what you would if you were with me; it shows that you are brave enough to do what you have to do. I _know_ that you love me, I love _you_ – and nothing will ever change that no matter what." Draco finished by giving Harry's hand a reassuring squeeze.

Harry just really wanted to kiss him right then and there. His eyes glanced down at his lips and then back up into his grey eyes. He could _feel_ his heart in his chest because the beats were uneven as his feelings frantically spiked. He just loved him so much and here was just one of the many reasons why. Only Draco could reassure him like that, mainly because what he said was true. Harry inched in a fraction closer, leaning in. Draco followed without thought; it was like a gravitational force – like the planets aligning.

Dumbledore cleared his throat.

The boys sat back up straight, though still held hands. They both blushed as they remembered that they were not the only ones in the room. _If we were he wouldn't still have all those clothes on_, Harry thought to himself.

"I think it best that you both reflect on it for a while and discuss it," Dumbledore told them "and when you are ready you may return here and we shall arrange everything."

They both nodded. "Thank you sir," Harry said.

Dumbledore smiled, "I believe I have kept you here for far longer than I planned. Off to your dorms with the both of you."

Harry blushed at the fact that he had said 'dorms' instead of 'beds', because they all knew that 'beds' meant Room of Requirement. Speaking of…

"Sir, can I ask you a question?" Harry asked. Draco suddenly was weary about what Harry would say.

"Certainly Harry," Dumbledore nodded.

"With the Room of Requirement, errm…" Harry tried to think of the best way to phrase his question. Draco closed his eyes in horror; did he have to bring up that room? "…Never mind." Harry said.

"Well goodnight then to you both," Dumbledore said with a parting nod.

"Goodnight sir," they both said as they left. As they closed the door and stepped out of the office Draco placed his hand on the back of Harry's neck and pulled him gently into a kiss. Harry pulled away.

"Not outside of his office!" Harry protested.

"Quite frankly I don't care," Draco said before silencing Harry's protests with his mouth. Harry didn't complain. He pushed harder up against Draco.

"Room of Requirement?" Draco asked.

"Actually…no." Harry said.

"I'm all for classrooms but the desks tend to hurt my back," Draco said.

"No, I meant…" Harry took a deep breath and stepped back out of Draco's embrace. "I want to wait."

Draco raised an eyebrow. "For what?" he asked incredulously.

"Well–"

"I swear to Merlin if you say marriage I will pin you up against the nearest wall and fuck that horrid thought out of you," Draco warned.

"Marriage," Harry snorted, rolling his eyes.

"What else is there to wait for?" Draco asked, impatiently. He just wanted to hurry up and get to the seventh floor where he could do things to Harry that he had missed out on all week.

"Well…I want to wait until the twenty ninth," Harry said, almost shyly.

Draco laughed. He then saw Harry's sincere expression and his laughter dried up. "You're not serious are you?"

Harry nodded, "Yes."

"But…it's the 13th!" Draco spluttered.

"I know what day it is Draco," Harry said, his grin starting to spread.

"Clearly not," Draco disagreed "that means it is _sixteen_ days until the twenty ninth." When Harry said nothing Draco repeated, "_Sixteen_…_days_…sixteen."

"I heard you the first time," Harry assured him with an amused smile.

"No way Potter," Draco shook his head "that's basically a month without sex if you count the time we've spent apart."

"I think it will be all worth it when the time comes." Harry said as he entwined Draco's hand in his and began to walk down the stairs.

"Why does the time get to come and I don't," Draco sulked and Harry chuckled at him.

Draco suddenly brightened, "Blowjobs aren't sex, that doesn't count."

"Yes Draco, they do." Harry told him.

"What if I use my hand instead of my mouth?" Draco suggested hopefully.

"Nope."

"Arse," Draco muttered.

"Don't go near it," Harry said teasingly.

"You are so mean," Draco wined. "Do I still get to snog you?"

"I'm patient not bloody insane," Harry said as he pressed his lips against Draco's, hard. Draco was taken aback at how urgent Harry was but he responded with the same enthusiasm. The Slytherin moaned.

"Shh," Harry reprimanded.

"Make me," Draco smirked.

"Cheeky bastard," Harry said as he effectively shit Draco up with his lips and pulled him into an empty classroom. Harry had to remind him about the 'snogging only' rule to which Draco promptly frowned but kissed him nonetheless.

Later on they were walking down the corridor, it was late – about midnight. "We'll talk about it later," Draco promised him, knowing what Harry was thinking about "I just want to not think about it tonight."

"I'm glad you're back," Harry said.

"I'm glad I'm back too," Draco replied. "I'd be a lot gladder if we were having amazing sex but that's just me." Harry whacked the back of his head. Draco just grinned. "How are you feeling right now?" Draco asked him.

"Are you asking me to WIFLE?" Harry rose and eyebrow.

"What the hell is a _wiffel_?"

"What I Feel Like Expressing," Harry said "do you want to do it together?"

"Why do I feel like a fifty year old man in a married couple right now?" Draco asked. "Bullshit I'm the female in this relationship," he added "'What I feel like expressing' – because that's so heterosexual. Are you kidding me? Accept it, you will one day be Mrs Draco Malfoy."

Harry ignored him. "I would like to express how lucky I am to be in a relationship with you. Even though I'm scared about what will happen soon I want to have the best time I can with you now. I'm really proud of how you reacted tonight because I know how afraid you are of someone knowing about us. I was worried at first too, but I'm really glad the Dumbledore knows. I thought that what you said before about me doing this, how it won't mean that I love you less, it was really beautiful. And–"

"But it's true," Draco said.

Harry fixed him with a look. "You can't speak during another person's WIFLE."

Draco rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry, please continue."

"Thank you," Harry said "and I'm just really happy that you're back with me because I missed you so much. I realised what it was like not to have you here and it was so different. I felt really lonely but I felt worried and scared too because I didn't know how you were. And…I love you."

Draco thought he was the cutest thing in the world right now. That was until Harry said, "Mrs Draco Malfoy? Please. We all know that you'll be Mrs Harry Potter."

Draco scowled at that and Harry burst out laughing. "That's not funny," Draco said.

"It's hilarious," Harry chuckled, pecking Draco's pursed lips. "You're turn."

Draco huffed. "Alright," he agreed. He took Harry's hand in his as they continued to walk down the corridor. "I am looking forward to out anniversary and no, not just because we get to have sex, but because…well, it is just an important day. It means a lot to me. It changed everything. I enjoyed the games very much tonight however not as much as I enjoyed coming back to you. You have no idea how horrible it was at the Manor. Falling asleep was the worst because my bed was cold and empty. I really, really missed you. Father and mother…well…anyway. I am not sure how I feel about Dumbledore knowing yet, even though he has known for as long as we have. I suppose I feel scared, worried, uneasy and cautious but also somewhat relived and at easy I think. Tonight has made me realise that no matter what we will always be together. Distance or time or any other obstacle does not matter. Because here is where we'll be." He placed his hand over his chest.

Harry thought that as far as perfect went, he was there.

They stopped outside of the Gryffindor common room. Harry blushed.

"What?" Draco asked curiously.

"Nothing," Harry said.

"Tell me," Draco said.

"No," Harry said, smiling in embarrassment "you'll laugh."

"You are going really red," Draco grinned "it has got to be good."

"No, it's just…well…you've," Harry rolled his eyes, knowing that there was no less embarrassing way of saying it "you've walked me to my dorm." He looked down at his feet.

"Are you serious?"

"I think it's…really romantic," Harry admitted, blushing even harder.

"If I go along with this fantasy will you let me do you?" Draco asked.

"Now you've just killed it," Harry frowned.

"I bet I can make up for it," Draco told him with a smirk. He stepped forward placed a hand on Harry's lower back and his other arms on his hip and leaned him back as if they were dancing. He leaned in closer and kissed Harry tenderly on the lips for a few moments and then brushed his fringe out of his eyes. He brought Harry back up and took the Gryffindor's hand, brought it to his lips and kissed the top of it.

"Goodnight Harry," he said, looking up through his blonde eyelashes.

_You're and idiot_, Harry thought in amusement. He brought his lips to Draco's and gave him a proper kiss. Draco stepped in while Harry wrapped his arms around Draco's neck bringing them body to body. They stayed like that for a while, just kissing and tilting their heads to allow their tongues to dance in their mouths. Finally Harry said, "'Night cupcake."

"Screw you," Draco muttered, he despised the petty names and Harry knew this but of course loved to stir him up with it.

"Twenty ninth," Harry whispered back. Draco groaned. Harry gave him another two pecks on the lips before pulling away. "Love you," he said. 

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

School began with such a panic that the students were all swept up in a wave of homework and studying. Nobody had slept properly in weeks. The castle was quiet, depressing place and the silence of students hard at work filled every inch of it, students were afraid to make a sound. The only time Draco and Harry had for each other was studying. They didn't dare do anything else in their studying time because they were afraid they would not get enough work done. When Harry realised just how much work there was to be done, not having done any of it in previous years, he was quite alarmed to say the least. However, Draco assured him they would get it done and they worked tirelessly. Harry often asked Draco why he didn't find it frustrating to be studying with someone who was a lot less intelligent than him. Draco told him that studying with idiots and studying with less intelligent people were different. He explained that he didn't mind helping Harry because Harry was a good student…when he wanted to be. That had earned Draco a smack on the chest.

"Where do you think _you're_ going?" Hermione demanded as Harry walked towards the exit of their common room.

"Erm…out?" Harry said carefully.

"Harry Potter do not leave this common room," she crossed her arms and gave him a stern look "you have work to do."

"But Hermione! I've been studying all day!" Harry complained.

"And with whom may I ask?" She raised her eyebrows in sceptical questioning.

"Someone," Harry replied, knowing that Hermione would catch on.

"Oh, _studying_ were you?" she asked not believing him for a second.

"Yes actually we were," he told her "we revised chapter nine and ten for charms, we did the transfiguration practise test that McGonagall gave us _and_ we revised a quarter of the theory for Defense Against the Dark Arts."

Hermione's mouth dropped open, Harry couldn't help but smile at her shock. He was sure that not even _she_ had revised that much today.

"So I'm going to head off now," Harry said.

"To the library?" she asked hopefully.

"No," Harry snorted.

"But…it's after hours," Hermione protested.

"So?"

"Harry!"

"Bye Hermione," Harry said. Ron laughed as he left.

Harry couldn't seem to walk down the stairs to the dungeons quick enough. They weren't going to stay there but they had agreed to meet there, it was sort of symbolic in a way. Harry found Draco sitting at the desk – the very same desk that they had decided. Harry walked over and placed a careful kiss on his lips. Marking time.

"Hey," he breathed.

"Hello," Draco said. He took his hand. "Let's go?" Harry nodded. They carefully walked through the castle. When they reached the secret tunnel Harry stopped. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Harry said "it's just…about what Dumbledore said."

"What about what he said?"

"About us having to follow the same rules as everyone else and about not sneaking out," Harry said, feeling uncertain. It's not that he wouldn't go it was just that he felt a twinge of guilt. After all, Dumbledore had been nothing but absolutely fine with everything and yet they were disregarding his only wish.

"I'm shocked Potter," Draco said, feigning his astonishment "are you turning down an opportunity to break the rules?"

Harry took Draco's hand and pulled him into the tunnel, closing the entrance behind them. "What type of Gryffindor do you take me for?"

Draco grinned and they kept on walking, somehow all doubt leaving Harry's mind. They were more important.

"But all jokes aside," Harry said into the silence "how boring would this be if I were a Slytherin? No adventure, no risk taking, no roaming the castle…"

"It would be boring that we would share a dormitory?" Draco questioned.

"Point taken," Harry nodded. "I love you in all your cunning and cleverness but I'm very happy not to be a Slytherin."

"We _are_ better looking in Slytherin," Draco pointed out.

"True," Harry agreed "I saw that fifth year Harper the other day looking pretty handsome."

"Fabulous, I believe I'll have to kill him now," Draco said.

"Not necessary, I'm pretty sure he's straight." Harry grinned.

"Whatever," Draco said "those green eyes only look at me, and you know it."

"It's so true," Harry said kissing his neck.

Two months until summer meant that the night air was pleasant instead of icy. They climbed up the ladder that led them into the shrieking shack. Harry missed a step and ended up falling onto the wooden floor spread eagle. Draco hoisted himself into the room gracefully, not ruffling a hair on his head. He shook his head in dismay as he regarded the boy underneath him.

"You know," Draco began "that is an incredibly compromising position you are in. I _could_ take advantage of you."

"I sure hope you do," Harry mumbled as he picked himself up off the floor. "I should let you know now that once I get my hands on you I will probably lose coherency."

"You won't need you mouth for talking," Draco assured him. Harry shivered. Draco stepped closer to him and ran his fingers lightly down his neck, creating even more goosebumps. Draco moved his mouth up to Harry's ear and whispered, "Happy Anniversary."

Those two words broke some type of barrier and the next things they knew they were kissing each other fervently. They pulled at each other's clothes not caring whether they ripped anything. Draco pulled Harry's top over his head and threw it away. Then he put his hand on Harry's thigh and brought it up to his waist, wrapping it around it. Harry's hands quickly disposed of Draco's shirt and they roamed over his smooth, pale chest as Draco began to kiss down his neck. Because they were standing and maddeningly rushing to touch every inch of each other they were both out of breath.

"Bed," Harry managed to say between gasps. He pulled Draco over and they fell awkwardly onto it. Draco began grinding down on Harry's hips with his own. His stomach muscles burned in protest but he ignored them and thrust against Harry harder. Draco was dry humping him so hard that Harry had to put one hand on the bed head to stop his head from hitting the wood. It felt so good just to press themselves together, so primal. Harry let out a throaty moan, which was muffled by Draco's lips. He stopped moving in order to attempt to pull their pants off. Once they were effectively on the floor Harry wrapped his legs around Draco's thigh and started to grind against it. Draco made a sound between a gasp and a cry. He started to kiss down Harry's chest leaving marks and bruises as he went. He circled his tongue around Harry's nipple before squeezing it between his thumb and for finger. Everything was so completely messy but it didn't matter because all they wanted to feel was that blinding light that would enclose them.

Draco removed Harry from his leg so that he could slide of his underwear, freeing his erection. Draco ran his fingers along the inside of Harry's leg; he smiled when Harry's stomach tensed up as the Gryffindor tried to supress a moan of pleasure. Harry could not help but cry when Draco's mouth was suddenly taking him all in.

"_Shit_!" Harry shouted, screwing his eyes shut and throwing his head back.

Draco ran his tongue back and forth on the underside of Harry's shaft. Draco's mouth was wonderfully hot, the heat touching every inch of him. He removed his mouth, Harry bucked up at the loss of contact. Draco ran his tongue along a strip of Harry's cock. He swirled his tongue around Harry's head again, tasting the precum that was beading there. He then took Harry back in his mouth painfully slow.

Harry let out a whimper. "Draco I…D-Dra…st-st-_fuck_!" Draco smiled smugly as he sucked. Harry fisted the blonde's hair and pulled at it gently. Draco looked up. "Don't want to come yet," Harry managed. With one last suck Harry's cock was replaced with his lips as Draco kissed them eagerly. "I want to try something…" Harry said timidly. A blush blossomed on his face.

"Did you just _blush_, Potter?" Draco asked with a raised eyebrow. He wondered what would make Harry do so.

"Just lie down," Harry mumbled. Draco complied, now looking up at the ceiling. Harry swallowed nervously and then trailed down Draco's body, he stopped at parted Draco's legs a bit. After muttering a nonverbal spell that Draco could not feel Harry leaned down and ran his tongue over–

Draco's eyes flew open and he made a sound that was something between a gasp, a moan and a cry. Harry looked up, as did Draco. "What was _that_?" Harry asked, trying his hardest not to laugh at the sound that had just come out of Draco's mouth.

"Did you just…?" Draco asked, his breathing heavy.

Harry nodded slowly, a smile creeping over his lips.

"Do it again," Draco groaned, pleading.

Harry wasted no time complying with Draco's request. As soon as Harry's tongue touches his hole Draco bucked his hips up. Harry parted his legs further. Harry ran his tongue from the bottom all the way to the top of Draco's cock. He brought his mouth back down and circled it with his tongue, jutting it on and off, teasing Draco. Draco bucked up his hips again.

"Keep still," Harry huffed "I can't do this," he rubbed his tongue frenziedly against Draco's hole and Draco bit his lips to keep from crying out "if you keep moving about." To enforce this Harry placed both of his hands firmly on either side of Draco's hips, holding him down.

Draco was lost in the sensation. He shuddered at the feeling, at the _knowledge _of what Harry was doing to him. Draco looked up as much as he could and all he saw Harry's raven hair. But he didn't need to see what Harry is doing because he could feel it. Draco's cock throbbed and he reached over to touch it, sighing with relief as he did. As Harry licked and prodded him with his tongue Draco's thoughts ran wild and untamed. He moaned, Harry went a little deeper and he moaned again.

This new sensation was strange and foreign but it still felt so…erotic. It was such a dirty thing to do, that thought was enough to make Draco's breathing quicken. He could feel everything with an alarming sensitivity.

Draco was fairly certain that had never been harder in his entire life, he could feel himself pulsing in his hand. He screwed his eyes shut and arched his neck back, allowing the feeling to course through his body.

"Harry," Draco cried, calling out his name.

Harry looked up through his dark eyelashes. "Yes?"

Not wanting to leave him absent, Harry began playing with him with his fingers while he regarded up at the blonde.

"Oh shit," Draco gasped "fuck me."

"Yeah?" Harry looked at him, meeting his eyes.

"Yeah," Draco nodded hastily, neady.

Eyes still locked, Harry looked at Draco and then his eyes briefly flickered to the wall next to them and then back to Draco. Draco only had time to groan in anticipation as Harry pulled him off the bed and pushed him against the wall. Draco was already well prepared so Harry didn't waste any time pinning Draco's hands against the wall and sliding into him.

A string of unintelligible words left Draco's mouth as Harry filled him up to the hilt. "Does that feel good?" Harry breathed into Draco's ear.

"Don't stop," Draco begged.

Harry licked along Draco's neck as he thrust into him. He sucked on the sensitive spot between Draco's neck and shoulder making the blonde whimper. He sucked it hard leaving a mark.

Harry knew that he wouldn't last much longer. His hand reached over to grasp Draco's cock but Draco stopped him. "I want to come from just you inside me," he panted "I– _s-shit yes!_"

Harry swallowed back a moan as Draco came. He could feel the pull begin, he could imagine it – the wave of pleasure he would ride. It was almost about to crash down on him. He thrust into Draco's arse, which was tight and hot and then he could feel the ecstasy. He kept going and going and going, skin to skin. He was sucked into a frenzy that was an orgasmic high. Completely blissful and raw and animalistic. He bit down on Draco's shoulder as the orgasm took over him, feeling Draco clench around him and feeling himself release into Draco.

They moved back over to the bed. Their breathing was still erratic. Draco reached over and pulled the thin blanket over them, covering up to their hips. He placed a kiss on the spot on Draco's shoulder that he bit.

"Sorry," Harry apologized "did I hurt you?"

"Not physically possible," Draco promised him.

Harry snuggled closer so that their noses were touching. He tilted his chin upwards and kissed his boyfriend. They lay their together flush against each other, snogging. Opening their mouths to allow their tongues to roam. Eventually Harry pushed himself up a bit, without breaking the kiss and wove his hands into Draco's hair. He didn't mind that the Slytherin's hair was sweaty, in fact he rather liked it.

"That was fun," Harry whispered on Draco's lips, he pulled back, smiling.

"Mhmm," Draco agreed, leaning over to reconnect their lips.

"Let's do it again," Harry said in between short kisses. Draco groaned – torn between lust and exhaustion. "I'll let you top," Harry murmured "and I'll even let you pretend that I have eyeliner on."

Draco smacked him on the shoulder lightly for taking the piss but then he realized Harry was serious. "Roll over, Potter." Draco said, flipping them over. His fingers began moving down but Harry stopped him.

"No don't stretch me," Harry said "I'll be tighter that way."

"But…that will hurt you," Draco said, opposing to the idea.

"I'll be fine," Harry assured him. Draco still looked unsure so Harry gave him a quick, confirming kiss.

With the blankets still draped over their waists, Draco propped himself up on his arms. Harry breathed out as Draco pushed in, relaxing him stomach muscles.

Draco closed his eyes and groaned, "Oh you have no idea just how– _ughn_."

Harry's arm snaked up and placed itself on the back of Draco's neck, pulling him down so that they kissed. Draco shuddered in pleasure at the fact that Harry's tongue found his mouth before his lips did. Draco pulled away so that he could thrust into him harder. Harry pushed up so that their lips met. Their pace was slower but more intimate and intense.

"Touch yourself," Draco requested, the words coming out as a moan. Harry gradually moved his hands to his erection, which was trapped in between their stomachs. He stroked his fingers along the tip, teasing himself. Draco groaned as he watched the satisfying act that only intensified his hunger. Harry's other hand came up behind Draco's back, he ran the tips of his fingers up and down Draco's spine. He then moved them around in circles, enjoying that he could make Draco gasp and pant his name.

Draco's arm gave way a little making him accidently lean forward and push into Harry at a different angle. Harry thrust his hips upwards as Draco hit that spot inside of him that made his whole body light up with amazing reactivity. His hand that was on Draco's back slid down onto the sheets scrunching them in his fist. Draco pushed into him harder, their hips knocking together. Everything was so completely arousing, like the way their ankles locked together.

"You are so beautiful," Draco breathed. The feeling of Harry warm and constricted around him was about to be too much. By this point Harry was no longer coyly touching himself but now gripping his erection firmly.

"Draco," Harry whimpered, almost as if he didn't have the energy to scream anymore "I'm so c–clo– _fuck!_" Harry couldn't even finish the sentence because as soon as looked into his grey eyes and saw it when he broke apart.

The way Harry clenched around Draco sent him over the brink and he emptied himself into Harry, calling out his name as he did. He thrust into him one last time before pulling out. Harry lay next to him, trembling from the force of his orgasm. Draco wrapped his strong arms around his waist and pulled him close. Harry rested his head against Draco's chest.

"Love you," Harry whispered "love you, I love you so much."

Draco pecked Harry's forehead, "I love you too, Harry."

Harry lay there thinking about how wonderful it felt to have his head on Draco's chest, how wonderful it was to have him right here next to him. He kissed the skin next to where his head was rested. He loved making love to him because they were connected on an entirely different level, especially after sex where they just cuddled up together and listened to each other's breaths and heartbeats. And here, right now, was where Harry felt truly loved, felt truly safe. Knowing that he would soon be sound asleep in the arms of the man he loved, knowing that as long as he was there and Draco was there with him, they would both be okay.

Harry's eyes gradually opened. He slowly turned his head to the side to find Draco sleeping peacefully. He watched Draco's chest rise and fall with each breath and he wondered what world Draco was in. He never often got to see Draco sleeping because the Slytherin was always awake before he was. However there was a crack in the wood and the light leaked in and shone in Harry's eyes, waking him up. Carefully as not to wake him, Harry gently moved himself off the bed. The air was a bit fresh and Harry decided to put his underwear back on, the only problem was trying to find where Draco had thrown them. A few minutes later Harry found them near the door where they had entered. As he got closer and bent down to pick them up he noticed that there was a sound coming from behind the door.

He frowned; it didn't sound overly large. Yet he began to feel nervous at the prospect of another person so close to them. He reached out to open it, his hand hesitating. Finally, he opened it.

"Oh, it's you." Harry breathed out in relief. "Come in."

The dark owl flew into the room as soundlessly as Harry shut the door. "He's sleeping," Harry told the owl quietly, pointing to Draco. "I'll make sure he get's it," Harry assured him. Noticing that the bird looked reluctant Harry then added, "You can go and find Hedwig." The owl shuffled forward allowing the letter to drop out of its beak and into Harry's hand. Harry smiled and opened the door for Syren and the owl flew back out.

Harry walked back noiselessly and was about to place the letter on the old, wooden bedside table but something caught his eye. He brought the letter closer to his eyes. The writing was beautiful and cold, the black ink written with a quill too harsh to be a friendly message. The ivory envelope was clean and plain except for five letters in its centre: Draco.

Harry knew that the letter was not meant for his eyes but he couldn't help but hear Pansy Parkinson's voice in the back of his head. _"You know as well as I do that his father has probably chained him up to a wall and left him there." _Harry ran his thumb over the back of the envelope, contemplating with the idea of opening it. _"Well he didn't look too happy to be leaving, I would not be either. Especially if I'd have been ignoring my father's letters all term."_ Something _was_ different. Harry couldn't explain how he knew this. Again Pansy's voice rang through his head, _"…You can just _tell_."_ And you could. Maybe his palms were beginning to sweat because he knew it was the wrong thing to do but it would clarify everything; like he knew all the answers to all the questions he had were right there in his hand. Weere they though, were they really? Harry's heart began to race and he was pretty sure that it was because his body already knew what he was going to do next. It was too late now. Procrastination was replaced by something else.

Opening it.

Carefully, he slowly opened the back of the envelope. Peeling it ever so cautiously. His fingers pinched the paper inside and slid it out without making a sound.

He swallowed as he opened the perfectly folded paper to reveal the cold, beautiful script that tainted the parchment. Was he afraid of what he would find? Yes. But since when did fear ever stop him? His eyes rested at the top of the letter. The decision to read the words imprinted on the page was like throwing oneself off the edge of a cliff, plunging into the deep, unpredictable ocean below. Harry only had to read the first two words before he felt that each ending flick of each letter penned on the letter dug into him, piercing him like hooks.

_Dear Draco,_

Harry's breath left him as the words on the parchment, the words that told him the things that he had prayed would never be true, knocked the air out of him. He didn't want to read anymore but he could not tear his eyes away.

_Sincerely Lucius_

It was silent…except it wasn't. The room was filled by the noiseless sound of the thundering of words…of a heart breaking and shattering into a million unfixable pieces…

"Oh." Harry breathed.

**I don't really know what to say…**

**If you are wondering why I didn't write the letter, it is because I imagined the words hurting Harry so much. I don't really know how to explain it but something like, Harry reading it all and the letter explains everything about the task, that Draco's love is a lie, that this was all planned ect, and I think that you all would have a different opinion on what words would hurt Harry the most. IN CHAPTER 17 I will be doing a brief scan over of it, SO if you wanted to send in a few lines of what YOU THINK was in the letter, please, go for it. **

**You are all so amazing to this story and to me, it would be a privilege for me to include you all in this in any way. **

**5 chapters to go…**

**Alli xx**


	17. A Beautiful Mistake

**Warning: you might need a box of Kleenex and a good four hours to read this chapter…**

**A/N: You do not know how long I have been planning this chapter in my head for. I am just praying that I get this right. **

**CHAPTER 17 – A BEAUTIFUL MISTAKE**

Draco drew a deep breath as he woke up. He stretched his fingers out…and found nothing. He blinked out of the haziness of sleep and looked up. A smile crossed his face as he saw Harry standing there. It would have been nicer for him to not have clothes on and to be lying next to him but at least he was here.

"Morning," Draco said, sitting up against the bed head with his pillow behind him.

Draco suddenly noticed that Harry was not smiling back; that he was standing there with a blank expression; completely vacant, which was strange because Harry always had emotion on his face when he was with Draco. Furthermore, Harry had not responded. Draco was now worried. His eyes searched Harry's face for a sign, for _something_.

Harry walked two steps towards the end of the bed with a piece of parchment in his hand. He placed the paper on the end of the bed. He looked back up at Draco, straight into his eyes.

"It's over." 

He said in a simple tone and then he turned around and left the room. It was so quiet. Draco was still frozen. He was completely confused, he did not understand – _what_ was over? Why was he suddenly feeling his stomach twist like something incredibly wrong had going happened?

Ignoring the fact that he was still naked, he reached over and picked up the piece of parchment that was lying on the covers; the only clue he had to what was going on. As soon as he turned it over and saw the handwriting Draco wanted to be sick. Fear paralysed him, making his blood run ice cold. His eyes being the only thing he could move, and so he read. Realisation, understanding and comprehension all hit him at once with powerful force. A new dynasty of devastation, a new moon that brought with it a curse.

Certain sentences and words cut him more than others. It was strange how he looked at his perfectly intact and unmarred skin because he felt that surely those lettered knives would have left him bleeding and slashed. Cut open.

Brutally massacred.

Words like, _death_…

…_meaningless_…

…_lie_…

…_nothing_…

…_used_…

…_proud_…

…c_ongratulations_…

…_deceive_…

…_false devotion_…

…_plot_...

…_clever scheme_…

…_never an honest word_…

…_hide_…

…_untrue_…

The way his father's words taunted and ridiculed, the way that they cut him as easily as a knife through butter. The way his father had begun taking over this, organising it. He spoke of dates and suggestions, times and place. It was enough for Draco feel bile rising up in his throat. He let go of the letter, leaving it on the bed sheets. What was more important was Harry. He tried to find his clothes so that he could chase after him but as more time passed the more dysfunctional and illogical he became because he realised that Harry had just ended it.

He had ended their relationship.

"_It's over."_

His breathing quickened and he had to stop and hold onto the bedposts for support. Everything that he had found with Harry, everything that he had learned was gone. He had had his identity stolen from him. Blindly, he rushed to put his clothes back on and while he did this everything came over him.

Pain. The sudden knowledge that the bandages that had been wrapped securely around his heart, keeping it alive and beating, had been ripped off left him bleeding. He was swept away in a vicious hurricane of emotion. His silver eyes that had been relit were now extinguished, a dead grey.

Hate. His father had yet again, even though unknowingly, destroyed him. It was an art really, that Lucius could harm him son continually as such, even unintentionally. However the hate hurt that much more was knowing that it wasn't just his father's fault. It was _his_ too. He had done this as well. Like his father had hurt him he had hurt Harry; by lying to him. Was he any better than his father?

Destruction. Draco became aware that without the life support that was Harry Potter, he would start to slowly die a death that wouldn't come quick enough. What was he going to do? How could he make Harry see?

Torture. Draco had been tortured before, in many ways. He had watched it, he had felt it and he had been scarred by it. His father's previous actions had nothing on this. The fears and agony of his past had nothing on this. _Crucio_ had nothing on this. _This_ was worse. The Cruciatus Curse was unbearable because your mind couldn't think past the pain. _This_ however, _heartbreak_, was worse because the pain was there but you could think about _why_ and _how_ and _what would happen next_ and _when would it stop_ and _who else was hurting_, who else had _you_ hurt? Unmanageable was a severe understatement. Unmanageable was humorous. _This_? This wasn't funny at all.

Once Draco was fully dressed and he had collected the letter, which burned in his pocket, he was faced with the problem of what to do next. He ran out of the Shrieking Shack, chasing after Harry. It was no surprise that Harry was not there. As the fresh air of the outdoors hit him, he wondered where Harry had gone? Into the castle? Out of the Hogwarts' boundaries? Into the forest? To Gryffindor? To Dumbledore? Had he Apparated? He had no idea. He didn't know where he himself would go. The place he felt safest was in Harry's embrace, protected and shielded by those strong arms, and he had burned that option away with his own flame.

Control. The one thing that had once been more important to Draco Malfoy than anything else in the world. That was until Harry came along. Now that he had gone Draco had lost him and the control. He felt himself slipping. Standing outside the Shrieking Shack, in the peaceful green meadow in which it was located; his hands began to tremble.

He had truly lost everything now. His breathing quickened. He gasped in air through his mouth so fast that his lips felt bone dry. He couldn't focus on anything else other than the most important thing in his life was gone and it was because he had ruined it, because he hadn't kept the situation under control.

No, because he had lied.

"Oh shit," he whimpered as he slowly lowered himself down onto the grass. He could feel it coming over him. He screwed his eyes shut. He clenched his fists together. He bit down on his lip hard enough to draw blood but it wasn't painful enough to feel right now.

"No. No. No." he said into the quiet morning. Too much oxygen was rushing to his head making him dizzy and delusional. "Fuck," he continued to gasp in air. "Oh shit. No. Oh God n– What have I done?"

And just like that the crying started. One arm wrapped around his waist and the other hand was placed over his mouth trying to muffle the sounds of his screams even though no one was there to hear him. But he was Draco Malfoy, always in control.

"_No_," he cried "oh Merlin no."

His head was facing the ground. He was still crouched down. The tears came distraughtly and that was exactly what he was – distraught. He had just lost, and hurt, the love of his life. It wasn't enough that _he_ was hurting, but he had hurt Harry as well, had destroyed his heart too. Now they were both in pain, Draco was sure of it.

He hoped that he would lose consciousness but the agony continued to lap at him like waves. He knew that that would be the easy way out, an easy, blissful escape. No, he would be made to endure it, to suffer. And he deserved it. Every single bullet that shot through him he deserved. Every single whip of sorrow that slashed him he deserved. Every single punch he deserved. He had earned it all. This was what he got. All the while he knew that he had been put in a terribly difficult situation, where it had been almost impossible to keep it together let alone make decisions about the future, he still deserved it.

But Harry _didn't_ and that was just it. This was Draco's fault; Draco's mistake and Harry didn't deserve it. Draco somehow thought back to that small, black cat all those years ago and he came to the conclusion that those he loved or loved him ended up getting hurt. Harry shouldn't have had to suffer with him.

A part of him began to die and he wondered how long the rest of him had. Though, he knew that he had never had much of a chance without Harry. He would die but he would continue to live. It didn't make sense but then again it did. He would be dead but cursed, forced to live on this Earth and that would be his punishment – to live a lifeless life. A loveless life.

And while Draco crouched there, down on the grass and cried and sobbed and thought about how horrific everything was, how _he_ was, his thoughts were tormented; wondering how much pain Harry was in right now.

"I'm so sorry," he sobbed. He cried. He screamed. He shouted. He yelled. He shed tears. He hurt.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

He left. He ran. Breathing in empty air that brought him no relief. He couldn't grasp it, couldn't comprehend it. It didn't make any sense. How was it possible?

He had to get away. His speed picked up and he was moving further and further away from the castle. Twigs and dirt replaced the grass under his feet as he ventured deeper into the Forbidden Forest.

Harry couldn't get the voices out of his head. They hissed at him, _'Lies! Lies! Lies! Lies!'_ They haunted him, his every conscious moment. Even though he was in the open he had never felt so constricted and closed. Trapped.

He stopped running. His breaths coming out in pants. Harry realised that where he stood was the place that only three years ago dementors had once surrounded him and Sirius.

He couldn't hold it back any longer, he couldn't hold it in. He dropped to his knees, his body taking the impact as he did. Harry's fists balled up at his sides, his nails digging into the skin sharply. His eyes screwed shut and he shouted out. They weren't words but like music could be understood in any language. Words wouldn't have been able to explain or express how he felt. Harry screamed loudly and not long after this, his screams turned to sobs. The sob started in his lower back and then slowly began to work itself up his body. His heart sped up in his chest. His breathing quickened as it started to come over him and he knelt there, weak and powerless to stop it.

And that's when it began to hurt.

He let the sobs over take him and his body slackened with the weight of it all; this feeling, toxicity, coiled inside of him. He couldn't even feel surprised at how painful it felt because there wasn't room for any other feeling other than the pain itself.

His hands trembled violently and a deep shudder ran through his body. His cries were a mixture of short screams and heavy sobs, crying out into the empty forest. His hands dug into the earth beneath him.

He was as loud as thunder and with every storm there is rain. His tears off his chin, falling down onto the dirt. They didn't fall easily; they fell heavily, because each one was significant, each one meant something. The salt burned instead of cleaning.

It was agony. He felt it everywhere; there wasn't a part of him that didn't feel like he was being beaten. It was unforgiving. His arms wrapped around his stomach as if he was trying to hold his broken self together to stop him from losing it completely, holding himself in the way that _he_ once did. In the way that he would never be held again. Harry's head shook from side to side, refusing to believe it. But it was true. The lie told the truth. It was a hideous joke that he now knew everything that he had wanted to know, everything that had been kept from him.

His love had been a lie. Draco never loved him.

And just like that Harry really shattered into a million pieces and there was no one that could put him back together. Once upon a time there had been, but not really. Harry's voice was resounding and full of hurt as the tears were dragged out through his wail.

All he could feel was sorrow, heavy and consuming, pressing down on him and he could not escape it. He had no control over anything. He gasped for air, the sobs making him cough. Choking grief – it was fitting. He felt a deep emptiness in the middle of his chest, which he knew would never again be full. He could not stop screaming. He could not stop crying. He could not stop the saliva filling his mouth at an alarming rate. Harry's stomach clenched and he lurched forward, leaning on his hands in front of him, as he threw up. He moved back to where he was before and curled up on the ground, the hard, littered forest floor not bothering him.

Suddenly there was no more air in his lungs to scream. He was limited to small, choking, gasps and lucid tears. No one knew, no one could possibly understand. Surely no one could comprehend how it felt to know that every touch was a lie. The way fingers brushed on skin, the way lips met, the way smiles were shared; all a lie.

Harry used to wonder how it would feel to live without him. The realisation that he had never lived _with_ him to begin with, was a truth so terrible that somehow abstract became physical because the pain he felt was so real. Everything was gone.

_Gone_.

_How could do that to me?_

_Gone._

His whole body ached. He wished that he could rip out his heart because it just didn't seem to stop breaking, what was left of it anyway. Why did he always seem to lose the ones he loved the most? How was that fair? Enough was enough; he just wanted it to work out for once in his life. Since before he even could even walk, love had been taken away from him and time and time again it continued to be taken from him.

He felt like he was pulling against invisible restraints. All he could do was lie there and cry, knowing that no numbness would come. All he could do was clench his teeth together to attempt to tame the constant stream of cries, while his thoughts impaled him all over. They whispered in his ears, not a single one positive.

However as he lay there silently, only allowing a small and feeble whimper to leave his lips every now and again, he liked the way that it hurt. It was a sick thought: loving the pain because it gave him the evidence that all those sickeningly sweet times had been so truly fake; the heat of his pain melting the sugar into his wounds.

As the forest obscured him and kept his secret, his body lay on its floor lifeless and inert. Everyone's heart was made of glass and it did not take much to break, or crack or shatter it. Everyone had the responsibility of caring for his or her own glass heart. This also meant choosing the right person to hold it. You had to trust that they wouldn't drop it or crush it or give it away. Harry didn't know what Draco had done with his heart; he only knew that he no longer had his anymore.

He wondered what Draco was doing now. Did he know he had harmed Harry? Damaged him? Harry realised too late that picturing Draco's face was a mistake, but now that it was there he couldn't think of anything else. Harry was blinded and unaware of anything else because Draco was all he saw, all he ever saw.

Time escaped him as he became unaware of his wrecked and fragmented self. He forgot that he had a body, he forgot where he was, he forgot people and places, he forgot that right now in a castle not to far away classes were being held. He forgot that he wasn't actually bleeding even though it felt like it. All he remembered was that there was a boy and there was a lie and there was a sort of horrible love story and that was why he was hurting. That was why he felt beaten and defeated, destroyed and shattered, ruined and crushed. He didn't know how to make it stop. This couldn't be fixed with a magic spell. This ruptured wound that kept pulsating and spurting out a terrible blackness within him. He was morose.

This was where Draco had left him – dismal, split and severed on the floor – sprawled, a boneless heap, on the ground. He had thrown him indifferently into the jaws of a monster after fracturing him. He was a shell, cracked and insignificant, tossed back into the sea.

While he lay there motionless, there was still a small part of him, like an itch, prickling. He didn't know what it was. He imagined it like a bee sown under his skin, buzzing away trying to get out. Figuratively, he began to scratch it. It tingled again, becoming more of a desire now. He knew that he shouldn't, but he scratched harder, hoping to curb it. Before he knew it, he was clawing at it uncontrollably and then all of a sudden he knew what it was.

It was the anguish.

The suffering, the torment, the agony, the torture, the pain, the hurt, the grief, the sorrow, the angst, the affliction, the misery and…the immense heartache. All over again. He had cut himself open again and it poured out of him afresh, running hot all over him, drowning him. It overwhelmed him.

It took all his energy to suppress the feelings that reminded him that he was alive. His soul was cold without the warm embrace that he had been ripped out of. He was hollow, he felt vacant. He was as unpredictable as the future; his future was as unstable as he was. Back and forth, back and forth likes waves. Convinced he would never change. Frozen there, unable to move in that abyss of heartache. The air that he breathed into his lungs was the only thing keeping him because everything else had shut down. Remembering – his touch, his kiss, his false love, the beating of his heart, brought Harry the greatest pain yet. He was slashed with the unforgiving blades of reality that screamed at him that none of it was real and only a dishonest dream to which he clung. But he was a worthless addict to him; to the empty space he had left. What he would have given for one minute, one second without this unbearable pain. Tears sprung to his eyes, overflowing and sliding heavily down his face. Soundless, they screamed unspoken words that he could not hide from himself even though he tried. The flashes in his mind were caused by his control slipping through his fingers. The recollections were clear, bittersweet, excruciatingly heartwarming and painfully joyful. He was lost in a sea searching desperately for something to keep him afloat. But he was plunging downwards, rapidly plummeting below the surface and somehow before the darkness completely overwhelmed him, he knew in the vacant space where his heart once was that nothing could stop him from sinking.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

It seemed just that when Harry fell asleep he should have been allowed to forget, been allowed to take a break. But like Pansy had told Draco, life wasn't fair. So when Harry fell asleep he dreamed.

_A sea of black surrounded him. The faces that once meant something were insignificant. People stood to speak and their words were as insignificant as they were. Although they were all gathered here for him, he felt he was the only one who was not present. And he was the one _he_ wanted here more than anyone else. _

"_Harry?" Ginny repeated "It's time." His eyes lifted to hers but he was looking through her, as if she was not even there. He didn't see faces anymore, just _his_. Harry realised that his feet were taking him forward and soon he was addressing the congregation of black. _

"_Draco Malfoy is my husband…was my husband. I know today that I have to say goodbye to him and I'll try and find the words I want to say to him before I say goodbye. I miss you," my voice breaks and I'm trying my hardest to reign in the tidal wave of grief so that I can say the words that I need to very much to say "I hope you're okay where ever you are, but I just want to let you know how much I miss you. I keep calling out to you, why don't you answer me? You've left me in the dark and taken my only light. You've left me here all by myself. If you were to say 'come with me' I'd go. You promised me always. Forever. Together until the end. I'm at the end and you're not here. How can I let you go? I'm not sure if I can take another day of waking up without you beside me. I have these empty spaces between my fingers, where yours used to fit so perfectly. Gone…"_

_He was unsure as to how far he walked but he had effectively left everyone behind. He had left them to themselves, he needed to be alone._

_Suddenly he stopped. His feet were frozen to the ground. Joy swept through him, relieving and tender. This was replaced by a horror so great that it the world around him ceased to exist. _

"_No," he breathed. The words escaped his lips in desperation. He didn't want it to be true. He couldn't lose him twice. _

_His lips pulled into that familiar smile. That one that Harry can't resist. That one that told him everything was fine. His pale hair fell _into_ his eyes the way that he remembered it. His eyes sparkled with what Harry can only identify as _him_. _

"_Hello Harry," his lips formed the words, his voice a music that his heart recognizes. _

_Harry shook his head. "You're gone," I whispered. _

_His smile widened. "Yes," he agreed "but not just yet."_

"_I can't live without you," Harry whimpered. _

"_Yes you can, love," he told him in a soft voice surrounding Harry in smooth velvet. _

"_I don't know what to do without you," Harry told him, his lip quivering. _

"_I will always be there," he said "always." He was full of goodness and wholeness, something Harry was deprived of. "Always love," he murmured to me "don't lose two things you cannot live without."_

_Harry shook his head, Draco didn't understand. There was no one else but him; he could not love anyone else but him. "There is only you," he said. _

"_You will find me again in love," he assured him. He smiles again and he knew that it was time. "This is our last goodbye," he told him "I promise you Harry, I vow to come for you."_

"_Take me now," he begged him._

"_When the time is right," he said softly. Harry's eyes swept over his face to take as many of his features in, to remember him now – happy, health…alive. "I'll wait for you, you'll always hold a place in my heart."_

"_You gave me more to live for than you'll ever know," Harry told him as he began to cry "I love you…"_

It is those three words, like ice water thrown on him that woke Harry up because even asleep those three words were now as sharp as a slap and as dangerous as dementor.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

It was the middle of the week. Two whole days since that horrible morning had passed. Harry had never thought time could have taken so long to move. Perhaps that's why _he_ hadn't yet.

Ron and Hermione had their robes on. They sat together in the common room. Ginny had already left to go to breakfast so they made use of their time alone.

"Should we take him to the hospital wing?" Ron asked her quietly.

For the first time Hermione replied, "I don't know."

"Do you think he's sick?"

"Possibly," Hermione answered.

"He just doesn't move, Hermione." Ron sighed. "It's like he's…"

"…Empty." Hermione finished "Has he said anything to you Ronald? Anything at all?"

Ron shook his head. "I told you Hermione, he hasn't said anything. He just blinks and breathes. It's scary."

Hermione sighed, pursed her lips and shook her head in frustration. "I'm just so aggravated that I simply cannot work this out. What was the last thing that he did?"

"He went out Sunday night, remember? You were all grumpy because you told him to stay and study."

Hermione ignored the analysis of her mood as she felt a light bulb switch on inside of her. "Of course!" She gasped "He went out to see…her."

"Then didn't come to class Monday and after classes when we went back to Gryffindor he was in the dorm and…he hadn't moved since." Ron continued. "So…"

Hermione's features softened. "So that means that…they ended it." Her eyes moved up to look at the staircase that lead to the boys' dormitories. "Oh Harry," she whispered.

"Shit," Ron muttered under his breath.

"No wonder why he's so devastated," Hermione said.

"Merlin, I really thought that they would last," Ron said "with the way he was happy and all. I wonder what happened."

"I think we should check on him before we leave, even though I doubt he's moved." Hermione sighed.

She was right, Harry hadn't moved. Harry had heard them enter and, to be honest, he didn't have the energy for them at the moment. So he had closed his eyes and pretended he was asleep. It wasn't difficult. That didn't mean he couldn't hear them though.

"He doesn't look well," Harry heard Ron say.

"Of course he doesn't Ron," Hermione replied quietly "he's just ended the most meaningful relationship in his life so far, you would look awful too. I hope he is okay soon, it's hard seeing him like this."

Harry just wanted them to leave and surprisingly, as soon as he thought it, Ron and Hermione left.

A song that had no music is what he was. Empty lyrics too. A dark room was how he felt. Lights stolen. He likened himself to a shell; he had served his purpose, had been used and then was discarded. Left there. Empty. Abandoned. He opened his eyes again, his eyelids heavy, the action taxing.

He watched the dust in the light, swirling in the air. He felt the rough bed sheets in between his fingers. Something in the back of his mind told him he needed to get up, silent bells. Empires crumble, oceans sojourn, colours fade and the world fell apart before his eyes. Time turned into blocks and he misplaced them. He could hear but he could not listen. He saw the world through clouded eyes, nothing was clear anymore, he was lost within himself. He was lost without him. He had no north.

_Gone._

Without knowing how, or how much time had passed, he found himself walking down the deserted corridors of the castle. He was grateful that classes were in progress so that he would remain undisturbed and unquestioned.

Tickling the pear, he walked into the kitchen. "Is you in searching of some breakfast, young master?" A small house elf asked him. Harry managed a small nod and the house elf scurried off.

For the first time he noticed the smell of the kitchen; the smell of food. For the first time in two days he noticed that he was hungry. When the house elf brought back the food, Harry ate it slowly but no less hungrily. Even though he knew it was the wrong thing to do and it would only make things harder, he wondered what Draco was doing right now.

Coincidentally, Draco was thinking the same thing. Today was his first day of attending classes since…that morning. Luckily for both him and Harry, the day before the Gryffindors and the Slytherins had had no classes together so both of their absences had not been linked together.

Draco looked across the room at Harry's empty seat. His nonappearance boomed loudly in the silence.

"And where, might I ask," Snape drawled, looking and Ron and Hermione "is mister Potter this morning?"

"He is ill, sir." Hermione answered. Ron gave Hermione a look that Draco didn't miss. Draco's teeth clenched together tightly and he looked down, hiding his pained expression. He became frightened as the though floated into his head, _'What if he tries to hurt himself?'_ After that, anything that was going on around him ceased to exist and he felt sick.

"How unfortunate," Snape sneered, he turned back around to face the class "page 854, begin."

Draco walked over to Snape and swallowed before saying, "Sir, can I please go to the hospital wing." Maybe it was because Draco genuinely looked paler than usual or maybe it was because he was Snape's favourite student, nevertheless Snape agreed.

He ran in the opposite direction from the hospital win because he knew that nothing could help him there. He ran straight to Gryffindor where he gave the password Harry had given him to the reluctant Fat Lady. He ran into Harry's dorm to find an empty room and an empty bed. His stomach dropped. Where was he? Why wasn't he here? Draco would hold himself responsible if anything happened to him, nothing could happen to Harry.

Draco left Gryffindor, walking out quietly. He decided that Harry might indeed be in the hospital wing. He began walking in that direction, passing the kitchens. He stopped walking as he heard a sound. It was a dull, groaning noise. He turned around and saw the door to the kitchens closing and walking out of there was a dark haired boy. Draco sighed in relief. He was about to call out Harry's name but shut his mouth. Harry hadn't seen Draco and kept walking towards Gryffindor. Draco wanted nothing more than to embrace him but he knew that it was incredibly unrealistic. He needed to give Harry some time. But the thing was, that time should have been spent with him, spent together. Draco squeezed his eyes shut as Harry moved further and further from him, representing the distance between them. Representing the wedge that separated them. Draco wanted to close the gap between them and to do that he needed to do things properly this time.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

His fingers lay next to him lifelessly as he rested on the bed, looking out into nothing. He didn't even hear her come in.

"What's going on?" Pansy asked him, sitting on the end of his bed "Because quite frankly you're acting like a tortured vegetable."

Draco looked up, his grey eyes white and vacant. "It's…" he stopped, he would _not_ say that it was over…but…wasn't it? "Over."

They words burned his tongue and they left his lips.

"What's ov– oh," Pansy stopped short as she suddenly realised. "This girl you're seeing?"

Draco gave a short nod. That was just more evidence that he _had_ lied, to someone else that wasn't Harry.

"Shit, what happened?" she asked.

"I…" Draco began, it really wasn't any of her business "it's private."

Pansy raised her eyebrow. "Merlin, what did you do?" she asked insensitively.

Draco looked somewhere else so that she couldn't see the hot tears that were building up in his eyes.

"Something terrible," he finally said.

"Don't tell me you fucked someone else?"

His head snapped back. "No!" he exclaimed in horror.

"Geez, calm down." Pansy said, responding to his sudden outburst. "I was just asking. It isn't as if it would be the first time is all."

Draco knew what she was talking about. "I was different back then," he said tightly. "I _love_ hi–her! I would _never_ do that, _ever._" He told her fiercely.

"Okay, okay," she said "you're totally faithful, a complete angel, I believe you. I was just checking."

Draco just wanted to be alone. Pansy was helping; she was only making him feel worse. He didn't expect anything from her – she didn't understand…and she never would.

"Draco, stop looking like you'll never be happy again." She huffed "You will."

"I'm not so sure," he whispered.

"Happiness is a choice," she told him "you will be if you choose to be. But not if you don't want to be. You need to get out, move around, realise that life is going on. That's the only thing that will work."

"You don't know what this feels like," he said to her venomously.

"Oh stop feeling so sorry for yourself," she said, becoming increasingly annoyed "there are a lot more people worse off than you."

"Like you?" he shot back "The primary reason you do not know how this feels is because you have never loved _anyone_ before. You think that you love Blaise? You don't. You are leading him on and you know it. It is just sex for you. Well it was not just sex for me. It was _everything_ and now–"

"–it's nothing." She finished for him, in a hard tone. "_Your_ fault. You let yourself get pulled in too deep. You gambled Draco. You wanted more and more until all of a sudden you lost and you now have nothing left. I take what I can get and I'm grateful because it's stable. I know what I have with Blaise and it's the way I like it. I don't like getting hurt. You never see me crying or complaining do you? Sometimes it's better to be alone. That way no one can hurt you."

Draco looked at her. He felt sorry for her. He was angry with her. How could she say something like that to him? When all he wanted to do was find a button to press and end it all. He would have already if not for the sliver of hope he had that he could fix this.

"I didn't think it would last," she said, breaking the silence.

He kept looking at her. Seeing more than just a heartless girl. No, Pansy did have a heart, she just chose not to use it…or rather let it work.

"Why?" he couldn't help that question escaping him.

"Because it wasn't you Draco. You've never been in a relationship for that long. Actually, you had never really been in a relationship until then. The longest you had ever been with someone was me and that was just sex. Good sex, but meaningless nonetheless. You had never been in love and then all of a sudden you were different. You spoke differently, you thought differently, you didn't things differently. Fuck, you're whole life was different because of this one person. It was like you had a new life. And that's just it – it wasn't _your_ life that you were living. It was some fantasy. Too good to be true. There had to be a catch, something had to give. And here it is." She shrugged like it was the most simple and emotionless thing in the entire world.

"But…" how could she not understand? Everything had changed for the better. Wasn't happier better? "I don't want to go back. I don't want to be who I once was. I can't give up on this. I can't give in. This _is_ my life now."

"Snap out of it will you!" She exclaimed. She too a breath and calmed herself. "You say that now because you're failing to see what could be ahead," she shook her head "you'll look back at this and laugh about it someday in the future. Just wait a few weeks, it'll be over soon." She assured him. "It's all in your mind at the moment. You'll get over it."

Get over? How? Pansy said it as if it was the simplest concept. She was wrong, it couldn't be more complicated. How could he just get over the constant pain in his chest? The dull throb in his head? The emptiness inside of him? The hollowness? The blackness? The hurt every time he closed his eyes and tried hard not to remember but ended up anyway? How could he stop feeling like he was slipping away? That pictures had no words and that words had no meaning? That nothing made sense? That everything was confusing because he didn't know what to do to make it better?

"So is it officially over or…?" she questioned. He didn't know after all she had said, she had the nerve to say that. But he had no energy and he found himself responding to her question.

"I don't know," Draco said quietly "I don't want it to be…but…I don't know how to mend something so damaged." He couldn't help the tear that leaked out of the corner of his eye, there was just so much water welled up there. He closed his eyes for a moment and more tears slipped down his pale cheeks. He instantly wiped it off.

Pansy sat there wide eyed and shocked. "Wow," she said "I thought you were a lot stronger than that."

So did he. He thought that he was okay. But really, he never was. It was all Harry. Harry was the wrapping that held his life firmly together. Now that that was ripped off Draco was simply falling apart. He knew this, but it didn't make Pansy's statement hurt any less.

"I mean, I've never seen you cry before and Merlin knows you've been through things a lot worse than a break up." She told him.

"No," he said, disagreeing with her "nothing has ever been like this. Nothing. Nothing has ever made me…immobilised me like this. All my life I've never had anything worthwhile and I finally found something and then it's taken away. Gone. It is just so…unfair." He tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

"No one ever said life was fair Draco. In fact it's pretty shit but people need to make the best out of what they've got. People like us." She said bluntly.

"Us?"

"Yeah, us. We're different to everyone. It's the price we pay for being pureblood. Maybe we don't get the cottages or the romantic weddings or the choices or small things in life that make all the difference or the happily ever after or that person that is wrong but perfect for you in everyway. But we get our name and we sustain a life that ensures we live and live with the things we need; everything at our fingertips. Because we're better than everyone else. I know that. You seem to have forgotten over time. So this break up is probably for the best. You need to think about the future Draco, not just now. Why do you think I'm a renowned bitch? Because I _know_ I'm better and I'm not afraid to show it. You used to as well before you started to change…along with other things. You can't change who you are Draco, as much as you try it will always come back to this. So save yourself anymore hurt and just accept your life."

She sounded like his father.

"Leave," he told her.

Pansy got up and walked towards the door to leave, but not before she said, "Don't cry over someone who won't cry over you."

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Ginny looked at Ron and Hermione as they sat down for dinner.

"Where's Harry?" she asked them.

"In our room," Ron told her.

"Did you tell him it was time for dinner?" she pressed.

"Of course I did," he said, feeling annoyed with his sister's interrogation. _Obviously,_ he had told Harry that it was time for dinner.

"Well?"

"Well he's not here is he?" he replied "He wouldn't come down."

"Oh you're hopeless, I don't even know why I asked you. Hermione," Ginny turned to her "…how is he?"

She just shook her head. "I don't know what to do," she said in a defeated tone "I am worried. He is not eating, going to class…at least he could go to the hospital wing but he won't have any of it…he wouldn't even speak!" Her eyes had a tear-tined glaze to them. "I have never see him like this. I don't know how to help."

Ginny pushed her food away, she wasn't hungry. She was concerned. "He can't stay like that," she said, to no one in particular "he needs to eat, he needs to get out of that room. I just…I just wish I knew who it was. So that I could hex the absolute fuck out of them for starters and then ask them why the in Merlin's name they would do that to him. I don't get it! He'd never been happier in his entire life and then this – it doesn't make any sense."

"No it does not," Hermione agreed quietly "I have been trying figure this out but I have nothing. Nothing is logical. Well, I suppose love isn't logical." She shook her head again and sighed, "He must be hurting so much."

"Don't you have anything to say about this?" Ginny demanded to her brother.

Ron looked up. "Look Gin, it's just going to take time is all. You can't bug him into talking about something he doesn't want to. If he wants to be alone for a bit, then leave him alone."

"But being alone is worse," she said exasperatedly "because then he's left with nothing but his thoughts and they're probably horrid right now."

"Have you ever thought that that's maybe what he needs right now, Ginny? Maybe he needs to think things through," Ron argued.

"Maybe he does," Ginny allowed "but not by himself he doesn't."

The rest of their meal was eaten in silence. Ginny thought about what her brother said, she thought that he was a guy and maybe he would know more than her – no – she knew Harry better than that, in a way that no one else did, and she wouldn't leave him like that.

After dinner they all returned back to Gryffindor. Ginny began heading towards the boys' dorms.

"Ginny don't," Ron said.

"You can't just leave him in there!" Ginny exclaimed "That's the worst thing you could do, to leave him on his own!"

"Ginny," Hermione said gently "I know you want to comfort him, we do too, but he won't talk to anyone. I think it is best just to leave him be for now."

"I'm not 'anyone'," Ginny said stubbornly. She turned to her brother. "He's your best friend and you're not even going to try to talk to him?"

"I have!" Ron hissed "He won't talk to me! He doesn't even move…it's just scary. What else am I supposed to do?"

"You're supposed to hold him even tighter when he tries to push you away because even though he's pushing all he wants to do is hold on," she said evenly and with that she turned around and walked up to the boys' dormitory.

Without knocking she slowly pushed open the heavy wooden door. Her heart gave a sad stutter as she saw Harry curled up on his four-poster bed. He was just lying there by himself still in his clothes, not even under the covers. His glasses were folded up and placed neatly on his bedside table. He lay there unmoving, just the rise and fall of his side.

Quietly, Ginny walked over and kneeled down on the floor beside him.

"Hi," she whispered. His eyes were still unfocused numbly on the floor. His hand was lying relaxed on the bed. She carefully placed her hand on top of it, simply placing it there. A small action that said what words couldn't: 'I'm here'.

Harry still hadn't moved, he had only blinked and breathed. "It's over…isn't it?" she asked softly. "You don't have to say anything," she told him "I just wanted to say that…I'm not going to tell you that I understand how you feel, because I don't, but I understand that you're really sad."

_Really sad_.

Yeah, he was. Really, really sad. Like that kind of sad that's black, colourless, pointlessly excruciating. Like you can see yourself being hit with a giant club and you can hear the noise and see yourself being beaten but you can't feel it…only hear the dull thud.

Harry's hand twitched slightly before it gently closed around her hand. Ginny looked down at the hand that had closed around hers. The simple action brought strange tears to her eyes. Perhaps she just felt so relieved that he was _alive_ because he looked so dead that it frightened her, like he was still there but had _left_. She gave him a light squeeze back.

Then Harry spoke his first words since the morning in the Shrieking Shack.

"Have you ever hated somebody so much that you wish they would just leave and never come back but loved them so much, you knew you'd die if they did?" Harry asked. His voice sounded ancient. Moving his lips took the same energy as it did to move mountains.

"No," she said softly "I haven't. But I imagine that it's horrible."

"It is," Harry said in the same quiet tone "I feel torn. Torn between how to feel, torn apart…"

"You know Harry," Ginny sighed "I wish that I could take out my wand and say '_reparo'_ and you'd be okay, because I hate seeing you like this." She paused, looking at him and then continued "but no matter how shit this feels right now, it's the only way you're going to feel better. _This_, how you're feeling now, is because you're thinking about all of it…and it hurts. And it's okay to hurt because that tells you how much it meant to you. After you get all of the thinking out of the way, you'll slowly feel better. But promise me Harry; promise me that you won't lie to yourself. Promise me you won't tell yourself that it never really meant anything, because it _did_. I saw it. It is a part of you. It will always be a part of you. You just need to be ready to create a new part with someone else and you'll do that. Maybe not now, maybe not this year, but you will. But promise me Harry."

"I promise," he said. He said it because it was the truth, it had meant everything to him and unfortunately, it still did.

After a while Harry said, "It hurts." His bottom lip trembled.

"It's going to," Ginny said, she stood up and went to lie down behind him. She put her arm over his stomach and hugged him tightly "so let it."

Harry breathed in a shaky breath and then began to sob. Great big sobs that raked through his body. He didn't think he would ever stop. There was just so _much_. He just wanted to cry and cry and cry until there was nothing left in him, so then he would disappear and everything would stop, everything would go away and nothing would be painful anymore.

There was just so _much_. He didn't know how he had tears left to cry. He felt like the sheer mass of his tears were enough to flood whole empires. Yet he was still not done. He had not cried enough over…_him_.

Everything that was tying him to this merciless pyre, he let it out, while he burned. The fire raged on within him and he didn't know how to extinguish the flames. Perhaps he would burn forever, it seemed that way. An eternity spent in fire. Vicious and torturing flames licking him. Each lick, a memory. It made sense as the memories were burned into him, branded. They would never go away. No matter how hard he tried, or how much he cried. And so he grasped the concept that he would burn, blister and scorch forever. Because nothing could possibly soothe this.

Ginny just held onto him tightly so that he would not he wouldn't fall. There was nothing else she could do than just be there. But that was enough. That was all Harry wanted. She didn't want to say fake things, such as; that it would all be okay, that it would all work out, because it mightn't. She would talk to him when it was right but mostly she would listen.

Eventually his tears stopped as his sobs died down.

"Harry?" Ginny asked, proceeding with caution "Who…"

"Please don't make me say the name," Harry whispered.

Ginny nodded against his neck. "Okay," she promised.

Harry didn't know why he was protecting Draco, but then he came to realise he was protecting himself as well by not saying anything. He was ready though wasn't he? He had been ready for a while, but without Draco…it wasn't right. This was just another cruel reminder that Draco had saved him. Now that he had left it was gone again, the safety and security, he was broken again. He knew that Draco had not wanted to come out because of his fears, but he also knew better now and that was because he was working under a plan. The thought hurt, it made him face it again. But he couldn't keep pretending it wasn't true or it didn't happen – it did. However, maybe he didn't say his name to Ginny because he still secretly kept him a secret in his heart.

Harry gave a heavy sigh; Draco was still in his heart. He wondered how long it would take, or where or when he would leave. Did he want him gone? No. He wanted him. Just the right way. He had to keep telling himself that there was no right way, that it had been all wrong. It had seemed so right. So, so very right.

He ached for him. Except Draco wasn't his, Harry pressed, he never was – just Malfoy; who was conceited and cruel and used him.

Harry was so broken, in a such a mess; it made it worse that he knew this, that he was aware of it. It made it harder. If he could only have that old life for one more time, one more day, one more love. Could he be ignorant? Ignore that it was not true just so he could hold him again and call him home? Maybe not. But oh how he wished.

"You will be happy again," Ginny promised him "and I can't tell you how long it'll take or how it will happen Harry or why or where or with whom but it will and when it does..." she trailed off, not needing to finish a sentence that Harry already knew the end to.

"It's the memories that are the worst pain," he told her.

"Even the good ones?"

"Those the most," he said, sniffing. Ginny didn't say anything, she merely just listened. Harry surprised himself by continuing. "Have you ever loved someone so much that you can barely breath? I still can't breathe…but that's because it feels like a blunt sword is being stabbed into my throat. You know what hurts the most? Knowing that they meant everything to me and I meant nothing to them. I had it all and I saw it fall apart – I felt it."

"I know you're hurting Harry," Ginny sighed "I can see it, I can hear it in your voice. I know you're hurting by the way you sound so…crushed. You feel like life has thrown all these things at you, the people that you love have died for you, sacrificed themselves for you and hurt you by leaving you. You feel as if this is all supposed to teach you something and make you stronger but you still feel like it isn't working."

"This was never meant to be the end. It was just all…" Harry whispered "…a beautiful mistake."

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

_Harry replaced the dead flowers with the fresh ones that he bought before he came there. After he wiped away the dust and dirt that had accumulated over time he stood back and regarded it. One would associate cemeteries with overcast skies and cold, biting winds, so he was thankful that the sun had decided to grace this place with its presence today. The little things counted. _

"_Bye mum, bye dad," he said. He gave the gravestone one last look before he turned around and walked quietly back to the exit. He promised himself to come back soon to visit them again. He missed them. Harry had always hoped that the pain would lessen but it never did. Not even all these years later. It never lessened; it was simply managed better. _

_He begun to walk at a slow pace, the shadow of the trees brushed over the path as he did. Something caught his eye. In the distance Harry saw a man standing alone. He was looking at a map. As Harry got closer he saw the man's frantic expression. The man looked up and around and then back at the map, and then up and around again as if somehow, magically, the scene might have changed. He looked lost. Maybe the reason Harry decided to stop was because this man looked more than lost, he looked _lost_. Harry knew how it felt to be lost. He looked like a blind man – staring but not seeing. Harry did not know who this man was, yet he knew that he was searching for the same thing that everyone appeared here for – _someone_. Someone who was long gone from everywhere but a person's heart. _

_Harry stopped walking away and walked over to him. "Excuse me?" he said. _

_The man's head snapped up to look at the voice that had evidently spoken to him. He had blonde, straight hair and empty grey eyes. He didn't reply. _

"_Do you need help?" Harry asked. His voice is gentle, it sounded like he was asking about more than routes or turns. He didn't mean to but he couldn't seem to help it – he looked so…_hollow_. _

"_I…" he began. He showed Harry the map and he noticed that his hands were trembling slightly. "I can't find…I can't find it." He said. His eyes darted anxiously on the shiny paper, desperately searching for something. "I just…I'm not from here…and I can't…I don't know where it is," Harry could hear the frustration in his voice accompanied with many other things. _

_Harry touched his hand over his and he looked up at him. "We'll find it," Harry told him, his eyes assuring him "I promise."_

_He nodded his head shakily. He took out a crumpled strip of paper in his hand. He unfolded it and Harry could see a number scrawled messily on it with blue ink. He swallowed before saying, "This is the number." He then looked back to the map. _

_Harry's eyes too looked to the map. Having been here many times over the years he understood the complex layout of this cemetery. It did not take him long to locate where this man was searching for. _

_Harry pointed with his index finger to a place on the map and he told him, "This is where you need to be."_

_The man nodded precariously again. Perhaps Harry imagined it but his breathing quickened as he showed him the place that he had come here for. "I'll take you there," he said. _

"_Thank you," he whispered. He folded the map up and put it securely in the pocket of his jeans. He walked forward and the man followed. The gravel and stones crunched beneath their feet. The sun was no longer shining but hiding behind the clouds. _

_Harry look sideways at the man; he looked his age, possibly a bit older, but Harry knew by now that the tired lines on ones face did not necessarily mean age. "Who are you here to see?" he asked hesitantly. _

_Something changed in his face. It was unnoticeable. So then perhaps something changed _in_ him. "My," he paused "…friend." Harry nodded once, closing his mouth tightly to prevent himself from asking any more questions. He turned into a path on their left and the man continued to follow him silently. His hands were in the pockets of his jeans. He noticed that the man did not have any flowers with him, or anything else for that matter. Only himself. But sometimes, that was more than enough. _

_Harry's eyes scanned over the rows and rows of headstones. So many dead people, so, so, so many. Each dead person meant twenty who were sad, ten who cried, five who longed for something to ease it all…one who was alone. One who was empty. One man walking in one way to see the one person that left him with one less reason to smile, to wake up, to love. Just one more reason to hurt. One thing, one thing less. But only one is all it takes. _

_Harry stopped walking. "Over there," he said quietly. The man's eyes suddenly looked up in the distance, searching, but not finding. Harry walked a bit further, as did he. "Just there," he pointed to a granite tombstone with gold inscriptions on it. The man walked forward slowly, step by step, as if he had forgotten how to walk. Harry couldn't hear the soft rustle of the wind through the leaves. He couldn't see anything around him. He only saw this man. _

_The man dropped to his knees. He took in a shaky gasp of air before the sobs took hold of him. With his head hanging forward and his shoulders hunched forward also, his blonde strands shook with the force of his sobs. He cried into the silence. Harry could hear the pain. He could almost see it ripping through him, overwhelming him, hurting him until he had nothing left, until he was nothing left. The torture was evident, grief had taken hold of him, not allowing him to live or to breathe or to move or to feel without agony. His heart ached; it was heavy with sorrow and emptiness. _

_Harry's own breath caught in his throat. He walked over and placed his hand on the man's quivering shoulder. It was a small gesture but a comforting message. Harry was a stranger, a stranger who had seen into the life of a man who seemed so broken that he wondered if he would ever piece himself back together. _

_He turned and walked away and he knew he shouldn't have but he couldn't prevent himself from stopping and listening when the man began to talk to someone that wasn't him, someone who wasn't there. _

"_Harry," his voice choked on his sobs "Harry I m-miss you s-so much." Another violent tremor ripped through him. He placed his hands on the black granite stone; his knuckles white as he griped it like a life support. "I don't…don't…d-don't," he was crying so hard and Harry could hear that he was frustrated; that he just wanted to get the words out but he couldn't. "I don't know w-what to do wi-without you. It h-hurts so much. I wake up in the mornings and there's…there's…n-no one t-there. I c-can't be br- I can't b-be brave anymore. Everything…e-everything is n-nothing without you. I can't breathe, I-I can't exist, I can't b-be without you. It k-kills me. I don't know what to d-do anym-more! I can't make it s-stop! I miss you so much it h-hurts, Harry. I l-love y-you! I…I love y-you! Love, l-love…I…I…l-love…" _

_And he couldn't speak anymore. His voice had been taken from him. He could only cry. And wish that things were different. And pray that he wouldn't hurt anymore because there was only so much hurting one person could handle. _

_Harry really did turn to leave this time, so that they could have their privacy. And as he walked away he thought about why the ones they love left them and how even though they waited for them to come back to them they never did, not yet anyway…_

_He stopped walking._

_And realised it was _him_._

He _was dead. _

_He was doing this to him. _

His death_ was what was hurting him so much. The blonde man was Dra–_

"Harry!"

Harry woke with a start. He sucked in a breath, he felt like he had been choking. He scooted upright and looked around frantically.

"Harry, you alright mate?" Ron asked looking sleepy and worried. Harry swallowed and nodded, taking in a shaky breath. "You were…shouting…in your sleep," Ron told him "so I thought I better wake you."

Harry nodded again. "Sorry," he mumbled.

Ron shrugged. "Don't worry about it," he said and Harry knew he was being sincere  
>"see you in the morning."<p>

"Yeah," Harry said quietly as he buried his head back into his pillow, praying that he could sleep without being tormented by death or Draco or sadness. And this time, it came true.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Draco just needed to get out of that dorm. It was so confining and made him feel even worse. He didn't want to forget the horrible things that he had done but he wanted to leave the limitation of Slytherin. He didn't want to talk to anyone, look at anyone; all he wanted was to breathe in fresh and quiet air while he pondered over it all. Harry still hadn't been to any classes for the past week, ever since the morning following their anniversary. He was sure he wouldn't run into Harry. Being honest, he didn't think he could bear it yet. There was so much he still had to figure out in his head, things he had to say. He started walking.

Harry looked at the door of his dorm determinedly. He knew that the world was still moving and that meant that life still went on outside that door, no matter how untrue it seemed He knew he would have to face life, reality, some time. A Monday morning before classes apparently was that time. He looked around his dorm and saw the sleeping faces of Ron, Seamus, Dean and Neville. Quietly he began to tie up his shoelaces. He walked over to the door and his hand rested softly of the handle. Turning it, he stepped outside and cautiously left Gryffindor. He started walking.

The rest of the castle slept, happily unaware through their slumbers that two boys would soon meet. They dreamed away unknowing that soon something would take place.

The library seemed like a safe place to go. It housed many distractions, not that they would work on him. Draco slipped inside the door with effortless silence, moving to the back of the room where he was less likely to be found. Being a Slytherin, it came naturally to him. He ran his fingers over the spines of the books as he passed a shelf. Pulling out a lone, wooden chair he sat down and looked out the window.

The library seemed like a safe place to go. It would be empty this time of the morning and that was a good thing. Harry's feet took him there on a sort of autopilot and this was also a good thing; he felt like he was retraining his body how to live and move and breathe and think, because in the past week he had seemed to have forgotten about anything other than the pain in his chest.

If a tree fell down in a remote forest with no one to hear it crash, did it still make a sound even if there was no one there to hear it? If two broken hearts met again unintentionally, even when no one knew their connection, did it still mean that they could break even more?

Did it mean that they could heal?

Sometimes, questions go unanswered for many reasons and sometimes, there just is no answer.

Harry walked passed the row of books. His body froze before his eyes even saw. He wondered how they had both come to be in the same place, at the same time, on anything but purpose. He thought hard, searching for a solid, reassuring answer. However, some things just did not have answers.

If it was anyone else, Draco wouldn't have known that someone was there. Though, because it was Harry, he just knew. He didn't have an answer as to why or how; some things just did not have answers.

Draco's head turned slowly to find Harry standing there, unmoving and silent, behind him. He stood up, facing Harry. They just looked at each other. Draco wondered why he hadn't already begun talking, why the words weren't pouring out of his mouth? He had so much to say and yet all he could do was think about the way Harry looked – _uninhibited_. He had done that. He never thought that a soul could flinch but then again, he hadn't thought of a lot of things before Harry Potter.

Harry could only look at the blonde in front of his. He tried to tell himself that he was looking at him with new eyes but really they were the same eyes, just tainted by a film of downcast. It was also tinted with red; standing in front of him was the boy who had fixed it all – and then tore it all down again. Draco Malfoy.

The Slytherin suddenly seemed realised that he was facing a now or never moment in time. He didn't know what to say or what to do; he just spoke impromptu and hoped that that would come across as sincerity. When he looked into Harry's eyes he saw emerald daggers, splitting through heart and bone and flesh. He took a step forward.

"Harry pl–"

"Don't," Harry hissed fiercely, Draco stopped moving "don't say my name. And don't talk to me." Harry surprised himself from the assertiveness and alertness in his voice because he felt anything else but stable; anything else but able to function so normally.

Draco was silent for a moment but then, "You don't–"

Harry's wand was out in a flash and its tip was pressed underneath Draco's chin. "_Don't talk to me_," he said in a dangerous tone "your words have done enough." That hurt Draco more than the sharp pressure where Harry was pushing the wand. "Did you or did you not lie to me?"

"Yes, but–"

"_Did_ you or did you _not_ lie to me?" Harry repeated slowly, pushing the wand in harder for emphasis.

Draco looked at him with every emotion that he had, he wished that it would be enough. He breathed in and then back out.

"I protected you," he finally said.

Harry removed the wand only to punch Draco in jaw, the place where he had not so long ago planted kisses on. Draco felt shock flood through him, which was soon replaced with a heavy and dull throb in his jaw. Wincing, he turned his head back to look at Harry. Harry's hand looked limp and red by his side.

_I deserved that_, Draco thought to himself as his jaw throbbed, feeling his pulse run through it.

"You have _no_ _idea_ what you've done to me," Harry spat. "Have you ever been in love, Malfoy?" Harry asked, Draco flinched "Terrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest without your permission and it opens your heart against your will and it means someone can get inside of you and really fuck you up. You spend all this time building up all these defences, you build up a whole suit of armour, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid, fucking person, no different from any other stupid, fucking person, wanders into your stupid, fucking, life…and you give them a piece of you like you have no other choice but to give it because it makes so much sense; it's like you need to give it to keep breathing because all of a sudden you see your whole world, your whole fucking life in front of your eyes in this one stupid, fucking person. They didn't ask for that piece of you. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes you hostage. It gets inside of you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness. Then one simple thing as a lie like 'I never loved you at all' turns into a glass splinter slowly working its way through your heart. It hurts. Not just in your imagination. Not just in your mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real relentless rips-you-open-and-tortures-you-mercilessly-and-endlessly pain. I hate love! I hate you!"

Harry despised the pain because he knew he was stupid enough to fall in the first place.

"That is not true!" Draco said with as much force as his jaw would allow him to "You do not hate love! Not so long ago I used to think all those things and then I met someone that changed all of that. He changed my life. He taught me that you cannot live without love and if you do you do not really lived at all. And no matter how much it can hurt sometimes when you lose it, you have to keep waiting for it and searching for it and hoping for it because when you find it, it out weighs the pain. But Harry you have not lost it, you just can't see it. Please let me explain, please just let me explain…please?"

Harry tried to be strong. He tried to walk away then. But he couldn't. He just…oh everything just…everything was…

"Please what?" Harry said tightly, his voice barely a whisper.

"Please just stay," Draco beseeched him. His hand twitched reflexively, because he wanted to grasp Harry's hand and hold it in his but knew that he shouldn't.

"Make me stay then!" Harry shouted. "Say something sweet and loving and untrue and make me stay! And you know what the sad thing is? The thing that makes me the angriest? Is that I would come! Because I still fucking love you! I hate you! I hate you for what you've done to me! I can't let go, I can't move on, I can't even get up in the mornings to go to class because I have to live with the fact that the most important thing in my life was a _lie_. I built my life around you and now I don't know how to change! And I'm afraid! I'm afraid that I won't be able to change!"

"You don't understand!" Draco cried out desperately, he just needed Harry to let him speak, to let him explain. "Harry, it is not what you think!"

"You're right," Harry said detachedly "it was never what I thought it was."

"Please just le–"

"Don't," Harry warned him, his scorching eyes burning him, the life in the forest that Draco loved had been charred into a dry blackness "don't talk to me ever again. Pretend I don't exist or better yet, pretend that you did it. Pretend that you succeeded in handing me over – that I'm dead."

Draco didn't know the person standing in front of him. He didn't know the man that was saying such terrible, terrible things to him. The on thing he did know was that it was his fault Harry was like this, was saying those horrible things. That hurt as equally as the words did.

"You know, you made me feel as though I actually meant something to you. You son of a bitch. I wish I could have caught all the tears that I've cried over you so I could fucking drown you in them!" Harry spat and then all of a sudden he was shouting, "HOW COULD YOU MAKE ME LOVE YOU WHEN YOU DON'T LOVE ME BACK? HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?"

"I–"

"Stay…away…from me," Harry's words were slow, his voice was low and dangerous and full of aversion. He didn't give Draco another opportunity to speak or to protest, he turned and he left.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Ron and Hermione looked up in surprise as Harry sat down near them. Ginny gave him a small smile.

"I'm sorry about…this week," Harry swallowed and breathed out "I've–"

"It's okay Harry," Hermione assured him, like Ginny she gave him a small smile "we understand."

"Did you talk to them?" Harry asked Ginny.

She shook her head. "No," she replied.

"I suppose I'll have to then," Harry said reluctantly and Ginny nodded. Harry wasn't entirely sure how to proceed with this, but his friends deserved to know what had happened. He sighed, he swallowed and he began, "I knew something had been wrong for a long time. I chose to ignore it because…well, I trusted. I shouldn't have. I really believed that I had it, that this was _it_. That they were the _one_. We were together Sunday night because it had been a year. The best year of my life and it had all been a lie."

"A lie?" Hermione repeated in question.

"Monday morning a letter came via owl. It wasn't mine to open. Somehow I knew that all the questions that I had been asking myself would be answered in that letter." Harry paused "And they were. It was all fake. It was all planned. It was never real. I was being used. So all I could do was end it."

No one said anything. Harry looked at Ginny as Ron and Hermione absorbed the information.

"How are you feeling Harry?" Hermione asked him.

He spoke the first words that came to his mind, "Tired." He knew that she wanted an elaboration so he added a few more things in there to satisfy her. "I just…I don't know what to do. I don't know who to be because they were who I was for such a long time."

"Are you sure though Harry?" Hermione asked.

"Sure about what?" Harry didn't quite understand.

"That she really used you?"

"You didn't read the letter," Harry said quietly.

"Who was the letter from?" Hermione asked.

"Her father," Harry replied.

Hermione's eyes widened in surprise, "Oh." She looked at him sympathetically. "Harry, I'm so sorry."

"So am I," Harry told her "it's not your fault, it was mine. I should have known better."

"How could you have?" Hermione asked, she didn't want him to start blaming himself.

"I just could have," he said simply.

"Who was it?"

Ron's question rang out loud amongst them. Harry looked at him; he blinked in surprise at the bluntness of it.

"It's not like you can't tell us now," Ron reasoned.

"I…" Harry shook his head "I can't."

"Why not?"

"Ron," Ginny hissed, shooting her brother a warning glare.

"She hurt him, why is he still protecting her?" Ron demanded.

"Because he still loves her, you idiot. He can't just get over in a week, you don't get over stuff like that in a blink of an eye." She snapped.

"Harry, she exploited you." Hermione told him gently. "You don't have to lie for her anymore. Why are you protecting her?"

_Because I'm protecting us both_, he thought to himself.

"Because she's probably gay," it was funny how the words came out of Ron's mouth and not Harry's because he was skating so close to the edge. Harry's head snapped up to look at him. Hermione and Ginny gave him the same what-are-you-going-on-about expression. "Think about it," Ron said "she gets a letter from her dad explaining something – that Harry was a beard, also know as using someone." He turned to Harry.

"She's not a lesbian," Harry told them and strictly speaking he was telling the truth.

"Oh," Ron said "sorry. Just trying to figure it all out."

Harry shrugged, there were more important things to be upset about.

"Is there anything we can do to help?" Ginny asked him, Hermione nodded in concurrence.

"No," Harry said "I wish there was but it just has to be me."

"But you know that we're here to help you through it," Ginny reminded him. He managed a weak but grateful smile and nodded.

"You're too good for her anyway mate," Ron told him "it's her loss."

"No," Harry said inaudibly, sadly "it's mine too."

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Burying himself in schoolwork simply wouldn't work because he knew that it wasn't as important. Schoolwork was probably the only solid or stable thing that Draco had left to cling onto. Funny how he let go of it completely and clung onto to something utterly unsteady and volatile – hope. He hadn't let go of it yet. What was once a 'stupid Gryffindor emotion' was now a beacon, a life raft, to which he clung. He hadn't given up because giving up would mean giving in and giving in would mean accepting that he and Harry would never be together again and that was just a terrible truth that he would not entertain in his mind. Stubbornness. Who knew that it would one day be the thing that would save him? He was determined to fix things, to get them right.

Another reason why he wouldn't give up was because he had never had a dream. Well, he had never had anything to dream _about_. That was until the Gryffindor had become a part of his life. Harry was what he dreamed about. And where there was a dream there was hope.

When he was with Harry he was truly at peace. He had to go back to the place where there was serenity, where there was love; he had to go back to Harry. He had faith that he would be in that place again and where there was faith there was a chance. He had a chance. He had to have…didn't he?

He felt like he was tied to a sinking ship that was going under. There wasn't much of a chance that he would survive. In fact, there was minimal chance that he would get out of this. But he was determined and he wouldn't give up.

He sighed as he thought about the start, about when he first received his task. His central focus had been on protecting Harry. He had just been trying to help him and save him. Instead he had hurt him. Draco still felt that weight, that heavy underlying guilt. He felt like the entire world was on his shoulders. He felt like everything he seemed to touch died, came crashing down, _broke_.

What could he do? What more could he do? He tried to speak to Harry but Harry would hear any of it. He would have to try harder. But what could he do if his good simply wasn't good enough? His best seemed to just keep fucking things up. He just wanted to fix everything somehow. And there he was stuck – he didn't know how. He had done all he could think of. He only kept making a bigger mess of things even though they were his best intentions.

He really wanted to start again. To go back. To change his decisions. He wanted to go back to the start when he had first fallen in love because he should have given everything up for it. He should have said, 'Screw it all,' and gone to Dumbledore so that he would never have to see his parents again. He would have been protected. However it was too late for that now. It made Draco angry, angry and himself. Harry had told him, he hadn't listened. His fault – for something different. He couldn't undo things now.

Maybe it was best this way? Harry wouldn't come near him therefore wouldn't go near the Manor. That would mean he would be kept alive, Draco would die naturally, but Harry would be safe. _But it is not right!_ Draco thought to himself. _I have to correct things with him before I…_

He was right, he knew he was. He had to sort things out before it all ended, Harry deserved the truth. The truth was that Draco loved him, had always loved him and Harry needed to know that.

Was it worth breaking his heart again though? Have him love him and then he died, leaving Harry shattered all over again? By now Draco had learned one thing, to stop forecasting. He just had to make things right again. Whatever happened from then happened. But Harry deserved that much; he deserved to know that his love had been real, that it would always be real.

He loved him.

"_I hate love!" _

Harry's voice still rang clearly through his head. Even though he tried his hardest not to remember he couldn't help but recall the memory…

_...Draco had never seen him like this before, not ever. As soon as he had an opportunity to be with Harry he didn't waste it. They both went into an empty classroom. The moment Draco saw him he immediately dismissed his own feelings. They were feelings of panic and worry and fear. When Harry had left for London with his friends to rescue his Godfather Draco had been terrified, as he knew that the Dark Lord had indeed returned and that Harry was in very real danger. _

_Seeing him alive, Draco was more than relieved; he allowed himself to breathe as it felt like he had been holding his breath since Harry had left. Then, that went away and was replaced by fear again. Seeing him like that, something was incredibly wrong. _

"_Harry?" Draco asked quickly but cautiously "What happened?"_

"_He's gone," Harry whispered. _

"_Who's gone?" Draco asked anxiously. _

"_I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!" Harry shouted. Draco dropped his hand from Harry's arm as if he had been electrocuted. He was completely taken aback by Harry's sudden outburst. He didn't know how to respond. "I DON'T WANT TO DO IT ANYMORE! I DON'T WANT TO LOVE! I DON'T WANT THE HURT!"_

"_What?" Draco didn't understand, he began to panic "Harry what happened?"_

"_SIRIUS!" Harry yelled "HE'S DEAD!"_

_It suddenly all made very cruel sense. Draco went to pull Harry into an embrace but Harry stepped back. "No!" Harry said loudly "Don't! Don't you see? I can't do this! I can't love you anymore!"_

_Draco froze. "No," he said "I don't see."_

"_Everyone I love, they die for me! All the people I care about aren't safe! My parents – they're dead. I have no family. I put my friends in danger. Cedric Diggory, dead! Ginny almost died in our second year! And now Sirius. THE ONLY FAMILY I HAD LEFT – GONE! I don't want to love, so that I way I can't get hurt! I'm over this! I can't keep going like this! I give in, because there's more to take and the only way I can keep it safe is by sacrificing this," he pointed to his chest with a hard poke "it's the only way."_

"_No," Draco said softly "no it's not the only way Harry. There's–"_

"_Don't you understand?" Harry shouted "My Godfather is dead! SIRIUS IS DEAD! HE'S NOT COMING BACK! HE RISKED HIS LIFE FOR ME AND LOOK WHERE HE'S ENDED UP! HE WAS TAKEN AWAY FROM ME!" he looked at Draco and his eyes filled with tears of anger and of sadness "I CAN'T LOSE YOU TOO! I just can't…"_

_His shoulders slumped forward in defeat and this time he did not protest or move away when Draco pulled him close. Draco hugged him tightly and pressed a kiss into his hair. "Harry, I am so sorry." Draco whispered into his dark hair, he kissed it twice more. "But this is not the right way. I'm not going anywhere," he promised "I'm right here with you. You won't lose me. I'm sorry that he's not with you anymore. But don't say you don't want to love because then you would have nothing to live for. You need love. I used to think that I didn't need love. Then I met you. You taught me that no matter how much it hurts love is worth it, because one bad time is worth ten good times. I know that right now you feel so vacant and nothing will ever make you better, but the only way you can heal is by loving. Don't give up on love and please, don't give up on me because I love you enough for the both of us to help you through this."_

"_I love you," Harry whispered into Draco's chest. _

"_Thank you," Draco said "I love you too."_

"_I have to go and see Dumbledore," Harry said, pulling away "meet me in the Room of Requirement in an hour."_

"_I will," Draco told him. As Harry was leaving through the door Draco called to him, "Harry?" Harry looked back. "How did…who was it?"_

_Harry looked at the floor and then back up at Draco, "Bellatrix."_

_And with that he left. He also left Draco behind with the horrible knowledge that his aunty had killed his Godfather, that all this was her fault. _

_So then was it Draco's fault too?_

_Draco thought as he walked towards the Room to wait. He stepped inside and sat down, still thinking. Why would Harry want to be with him? How did Harry stand to be near him? Even though Draco had not killed Sirius he still couldn't stop the guilt coursing through him. He felt it like it had its own pulse. _

_It didn't make sense to him. Didn't Harry feel some sort of hatred towards him? How could he face Harry knowing that someone from his family, someone related to him, had done something so horrible to the boy he loved. _

_He couldn't._

_Perhaps it was best that Harry had some space to think tonight. Maybe it was best that when Harry was ready he would seek Draco out because surely Harry didn't want to be with him at the moment. Not when this had happened. Not when Draco's own blood had killed Sirius. _

_These were the reasons why Draco left the room._

_Harry was surprised to find Draco absent from the Room of Requirement but he entered nonetheless. His conversation with Dumbledore had been extensive but it had gone well. Harry was so tired. He just wanted to fall asleep with Draco there, so he wouldn't be alone. _

_Harry sat and waited. _

_And waited. _

_And waited. _

_Half an hour turned into one, and one hour turned into two. Soon, it was two in the morning but Harry still waited. _

_He didn't accept the idea that Draco wasn't coming. He would be there soon, he was sure of it. Harry needed him and Draco would be there for him. All he had to do was wait a little bit longer. _

_Even though his eyelids were heavy and his body begged him for sleep he just kept telling himself to wait a little bit longer. Draco would come, Draco would be here. He wouldn't let him down. He forced himself to stay awake. Any minute now Draco would be here. Just a bit longer._

_But he didn't. Draco didn't appear. _

_Harry's eyes had not yet closed. The clock on the wall told him that he was late for his first class. He finally accepted that Draco wouldn't show. That Draco had forgotten about him, or had merely decided not to come. Why? He had needed him, why hadn't he come?_

_Trying not to let his emotions show, Harry left and walked to his first class. Unsurprisingly, Harry couldn't concentrate. With all that had happened, all he had done and witnessed and suffered in addition to not having slept in over twenty for hours, he couldn't think let alone see clearly. _

_He stared at the back of Draco's head, which hadn't even turned to look at him. When the class ended he waited until everyone had left the room, saying that he had to ask Flitwick a question even though the tiny teacher had already left. _

"_Draco," Harry said, saying it like an unknown word. Draco stopped. He turned around. "Where were you last night?"_

_Draco was silent for a while before saying, "Harry, my aunty killed your Godfather, why in the world would want to be with me? How can you even talk to me? You should hate me at the moment. I just thought that it would be better if you were by yourself last night, I didn't think you would want to be near me."_

_Harry was now delirious with the lack of sleep. That and the confusion, which overshadowed Harry's logic. "I asked you to meet me, to stay with me. I asked you. I meant that. Why would you even think that I wouldn't want you? I _needed_ you. I needed you last night. I waited for you. I waited all night for you and you didn't come. I haven't slept, I stayed up all night. You didn't come. You weren't there when I needed you. I needed you then more than I ever have. I needed to fall asleep in your arms, knowing that you were there with me and that it would all be okay. I was alone. You weren't there. You…you didn't come. I waited. I waited for you…"_

_Draco felt like he had been hit with something large and heavy. The feeling, no, the knowledge that he had let Harry down was too strong, taking him with such force. Seeing the look on his face, the sincerity and the innocence and the severity, hurt him. Tears filled his eyes as he realised what he had done. _

"_I'm sorry," he chocked out "I am so, so sorry." He pulled Harry into his arms. "Harry, I am so sorry."_

"_Don't ever do that to me again," Harry told him, muttering it into his neck. He couldn't stop his eyes from slowly drifting shut and falling asleep in Draco's arms_

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry rolled over, still awake. He thought about how pathetic it all was; pathetic how he was losing sleep over someone who didn't care, someone who had never loved him. More so though that it was pathetic that Harry had let him into his heart without even realising that it was all a whole lot of bullshit. Now he couldn't even sleep, he was imprisoned in the land of the living even though he wished to sail into unconsciousness, even if it was only for a few hours. Pathetic how he could only think of him and pathetic how the only one he could think of was the one who had shot him down.

Now he was wide awake and that only meant one thing. His mind was alert and now the justification would commence. _Maybe it's not justifying_, Harry thought,_ maybe I'm just thinking things over_. Maybe Harry _was_ right, but he was still thinking about things that did not brush over, but in fact dig into, the issue of many sentences than began with a question. Such as, why had Draco Malfoy done it? Harry had read the letter, but he asked himself whether it was strange that he didn't think that the answer had been there. _You only think that because you hope that he really loves you_, Harry told himself. _It's not some fairy tale Harry, where the evil person goes out to hurt someone but then suddenly realises they're in love with them and it all finishes with a happy ending. That isn't your story. He _never_ loved you at all. _

However there was still something nagging at him, pulling at him, begging for his attention. Harry didn't know what it was. Not unlike a lot of things these days. What was love? And more importantly, why didn't he ever seem to be able to keep it?

_What do you want Harry_? He asked himself. He sighed because the answer was impractical. _I want Draco._

He still wanted him. He supposed that he would always want him. Well, there was just so much to want wasn't there? He knew deep within himself he was still waiting for someone to tell him that this had all just been a huge mistake and that Draco's love was really; this was because that was wanted he wanted.

It was strange because he had all these people hinting at him that he needed to move on but the thing was, he didn't _want_ to move on. This was just another season in his life: bitter as winter, dry as summer, unpredictable as spring, cantankerous as autumn. Could he handle them though? With this new moon in his sky it brought a change in the tides and Harry wondered if he could sail through them without drowning, never resurfacing again. These thoughts lapped at him like the waves in which he was desperately and unsuccessfully trying to master.

"I need help," he whispered.

And strangely enough, after a tiring day of classes, when he finally fell asleep, Harry, for the first time in his life dreamt of his mother.

_Harry had never breathed such fresh air in all of his life. It was clean and pure and fresh. He ran his fingers over the soft, green blades of grass on which he was sitting. He liked it here for two reasons. The first, it was calming and tranquil. The quiet breeze and the noise of a stream near by. The second, there wasn't that horrible ache in his chest. No, here he was light and whole and content. _

_When Harry looked up he saw Lily. She was smiling at him, her long hair falling down behind her shoulders. Her eyes, like his, a bright green. _

"_Can you talk?" Harry asked her. _

_Her smile widened. Shd replied with a nod, strange how she was agreeing she was able to speak yet she said not a word. She reached out her hand, offering it to him. He took it; even though he couldn't really feel it he knew it was warm and perfect. _

"_I'm sad," he told her. He didn't feel it right now but he felt it was important to let her know so that maybe when he would know what to do when he began to feel sad again. Something in her eyes told Harry that she already knew this…and so much more. With her free hand she cupped her son's cheek, brushing her thumb over it lovingly. She put her hand back down and looked at him, waiting, listening. _

"_He never loved me," he said "I loved him so much and he never loved me. I still want him to love me."_

_The wind in the background was nice, serene. It was pleasant here, on this mountaintop._

"_What do I do?" he asked. The question was directed to himself, because even though Lily had verified that she could talk, he didn't really think that she would. So Harry was incredibly surprised when she did._

"_Harry," she smiled "your heart is very special. I watch you, always all the time, and I know that it makes you who you are, because you follow it. You use it to make decisions, to choose things. You must listen to what it tells you, sweetheart."_

_He was glad that he didn't, couldn't, feel sad right now. It would have clouded everything. He could think and speak clearly now without it. "It's telling me to forgive him, to listen to him." Harry said. He sighed and shook his head, "But I can't."_

"_Why not, darling?" she asked, her face was filled with concern and compassion. She opened her arms invitingly, Harry resting in them, and held her son close to her. _

"_I can't trust my heart anymore," he told her sadly "because it blinds me. If I think with my heart I can't see clearly. That's why I'm using my head to think instead of my heart o feel because I don't want to feel this pain ever again."_

_She brought her fingers up to stroke his hair. Harry closed his eyes as she spoke. "When you were a baby," she began softly "and you first discovered how to walk you always liked to run. You loved to run around. Sometimes you would trip and fall. I used to pick you up and hold you close to me and you cried in my arms. I would kiss your cuts and even though they hurt, they healed after a while. It never stopped you from running, Harry."_

"_I was a child then," Harry reminded her._

"_You are still a child at heart," she told him, her smile warm "and always my baby." Harry too smiled. "Let the child within your heart help you to choose, the truth is there."_

_Harry then asked her the question that he had been asking himself for the past two weeks, "Does he love me?"_

"_What do you feel?" she asked him._

"_I love him," Harry said simply. She smiled and it lit up her face. "Is it enough to forgive him?"_

"_Forgiveness has always been in your heart, Harry." She told him "The question is will you let it embrace you?" _

_Harry stopped and thought. "Am I supposed to forgive him though? Does he really love me?" he repeated the question that he so desperately wanted answered. _

_She pressed a kiss to his forehead and whispered, "What does your heart tell you, Harry?"_

Harry woke up. It wasn't all that late.

He knew where he needed to go. He needed to go back to where it began because there, maybe there it was still alive.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"Are you going to introduce your presence or continue standing there silently?" She asked without looking up from her drawing.

"How long did you know I was there for?" Draco asked as he walked over and sat down beside her.

"The whole time," she replied. She wasn't smiling like she usually did nor did she have her usual wittiness lacing her words.

"What is it?" Draco asked her.

She looked up with a hard expression, then looked back at her paper and continued drawing. Draco couldn't think of a time where she had ever ignored him.

"What's wrong?" he asked her again, worried now. She continued to pretend that he wasn't there.

"Astoria," Draco said. Her pencil stopped moving. As a general rule, he never called her by her first name.

She looked up and Draco was surprised because her eyes were glazed over. "You have no obligations to tell me anything Draco," she said "but I thought that you already knew."

"Already knew what?" he asked her. He had _never_ seen her with tears in her eyes before.

"That I'm here, that you can tell me anything, that I'll listen without judging you. I've always done that. And…" a tear fell out of her eye and she hastily wiped it away, muttering a quiet, 'fuck.' "It's been almost two weeks and you haven't gotten any better. I don– didn't know what to do. You didn't come to me, you didn't say anything to me. I've been watching you, thinking 'What the fuck happened?' You look liked you'd…" she stopped and realised that she was venting her personal thoughts about him to him. "Shit, I'm sorry."

"I've never seen you cry," he said.

"I don't do it often," it was the truth.

"Neither do I," he put forward.

"That's bullshit Draco," she said "you've been crying for the past two weeks."

"_Almost_ two weeks," he repeated her words from before. She ignored him. "I'm sorry," he told her "I haven't done anything very well these past two weeks."

She felt bad. "Draco," she began but he stopped her.

"No," he said "you are right." He looked at her directly in her eyes. "You are the only person I can talk to. I just…was not ready to let anyone in yet. I am sorry."

She didn't say anything. She knew what he needed, she always knew, and it was to listen to him because no one else seemed to.

"What are you drawing?" he asked.

She looked down at her paper. It was an image of something abstract. A mess of colours and smudges and lines that strangely made perfect sense. Everything was connected to everything, yet it was all so different. It was truly art.

"You," she said. Draco's throat constricted. It wasn't his face on the paper, yet it was him – on the inside. "This is how you look right now," she explained quietly. It clarified everything, illuminating it. It told his story. He was so incredibly moved by it. Astoria turned away, giving him some time. She picked up the pencil and continued to etch away. He watched her without a sound, the lead speaking enough. Her strokes were powerful in meaning; she could have been the one who through the daytime over the sky, splashing the sun onto buildings. With a final smudge of her index finger in the corner of the picture, she muttered an inerasable charm on the paper and gave it to him. Draco swallowed thickly as he placed the picture on the table beside him.

"I'm sorry that I can't be what you want me to be," Draco told her "but not even I can be what I want to be."

"I only want you to be yourself," she responded.

"It's not enough," he said "because I take from you but I can never give you what you want. I'm sorry."

"It's the way things are, don't be sorry." She told him honestly.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you, I'm sorry I can't be what you want me to be." He repeated.

"How long have you known for?" she asked in a small voice. He looked at her and then down at the picture again. "That long, huh?" she swallowed. He nodded. "Sorry," she said. Even though he knew now, she was okay with it.

"Don't be," he told her "you were the first one who ever cared…and now you are the only one."

"'Now?'"

He thought about how to advance and then started. "I know what I'm about to do is selfish and inconsiderate," he began "because I have nothing to give to you. I know that I keep taking from you but you're the only one I can go to and –"

"Tell me what you need and I'll do it," she promised him.

He handed her a piece of parchment. The letter that was the culprit, the thing that had caused his problems. "I need for you to read it," he told her, his voice tortured. She nodded. She opened the letter and began to read it. He tried so hard but failed at keeping his composure. He kept his lips pressed tightly together, but his salty tears still escaped him. As Astoria read she heard his breaths come in and out sharply and she felt for his hand and held it as she continued to read Lucius' words.

Placing the letter carefully on the table she looked up at him. "He found it," Draco choked out "Harry." Astoria brushed her thumb over the top of his hand, not letting go. "It's not true," he told her "I had to lie to protect him, he thinks that I lied to him but I love him. I always have and it is real. I don't know what to do." Astoria felt his hands shaking. "I feel like I'm falling," his breathing too quick to be safe.

She reached over and pulled him into an embrace. "I've got you," she promised. She just held him tightly and securely, making sure that if she could give him something it would be that he was stable enough to allow himself to feel freely. He sobbed into her shoulder, quietly but deeply.

Astoria swallowed and focused on keeping her breathing even. She had to stay strong for him. This wasn't about how she felt for him, in fact, that was at the back of her mind right now. She had always felt the innate need to protect him and now it was no different. It hurt her to see him so upset and in so much emotional pain. He moved back upright, wiping his eyes.

"I will always give you everything," she told him "but I will never give you false hope. I promise you now."

"Thank you," he said. And he meant it.

Her eyes burned with the seriousness and intensity of her words. It was the only fire he had seen in a long time. "You can repair this. I know that you can because he changed something within you, so you must have changed something within him too and _that_ _never_ goes away. He can't forget that, he _hasn't _forgotten it. It's there and it's eating away at him and _that_ is your chance. Seize it. If it is real then you should have no doubt that you can fix it because things that are real are everlasting. Don't let anyone ever tell you that you can't do it, because he is your dream and you need to protect him. If you need him, if you _love_ him…you have to go and get him."

"I've broken it into so many impossible pieces, beyond repair, I don't think I can fix this." Draco said hoarsely.

"That is crazy and stupid and irrational: when it's broken and you say you can't fix it. You can fix anything that is broken." She told him firmly, believing it one hundred percent herself.

"I don't know if that's true." Draco said, his eyes looking at her blankly.

"Of course it is," she told him, her voice strong and sure "_you_ were broken and he fixed you. Nothing is impossible. Don't give in Draco, don't give into it." She pointed to the discarded letter. "You're better than them. Prove to him that you are better than them."

"I don't know how," he said with tormented eyes.

"Yes you do," she told him, the sincerity in her voice scaring him "you have to lift yourself up above all the things that scare you. Instead you have to embrace the feelings that are making you hurt. You keep pushing them away but Draco, the pain is the love in disguise. Show him the pain and you show him the love. Show him who you are because when he sees it he will know. Show him the person that he's helped you to become. He's hurting too, when you show the same pain that he feels, it is an expression of love. It shows him that you both have it and it's still there – the love. Don't you see? It is the answer. It's the question. It's the thing that makes everything work and it's what will seal everything back up – love." She gave him a smile. "You've got it…so give it to him."

Draco didn't know what to say. He was moved by her words. So moved that he knew how to fix things. "You are…" he was lost for words "thank you."

"You're always welcome," she replied. Her smile then faded. "If I close my eyes will it make it easier?" she asked sadly.

Draco's lip quivered and he didn't need to ask himself why. He hated doing this to her, but most of all, he hated how she always knew that he would do it.

He tried to keep his voice steady. "It should," he whispered.

She nodded, not letting go of his hand. She moved closer and placed her other hand on his cheek. She pressed a quick kiss on his lips, knowing that she wouldn't remember it, "Open yourself to him."

"I will," he promised.

A stray tear slipped down her cheek and she brushed it away. She didn't mention that it might not work properly. She didn't mention that she had dreams and moments of confusion when an image or a memory she didn't recall leaked into her head. She was certain things were slipping but she loved him too much to not give herself to him willingly. Most of all, she didn't mention that she knew something that would change everything for him. She didn't tell him because she didn't want to hurt him, because she wanted things to work out for him.

"_Obliviate_."

He left her there, asleep. He replicated the drawing and took the original with him.

He knew where he needed to go. He needed to go back to where it began because there, maybe there it was still alive.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry had been sitting in the old potions classroom for a little under half an hour. He had no plans of moving. Even though it was cold he felt warm. Here was where it had really started. The first kiss, the first agreement, the beginning. Here it was all so simple.

Harry's head snapped up as the door opened. He froze on the desk. He could have dealt with Dumbledore walking in, or another student, or even Snape. He couldn't have, however, dealt with Draco Malfoy. That was exactly who walked in.

As Draco closed the door behind him, turned around and saw Harry sitting on the desk, his face dropped. Both of their pulses sped up as their eyes locked. All that time spent planning, all that time spent thinking and Draco went blank. He didn't know what to say.

All that time spent reflecting, all that time spent reasoning and Harry completely panicked. All he knew was that he just needed to get out of there. He hopped off the desk and he was about to start walking towards the door when Draco spoke.

"Stop," Draco said into the silence, his tone dire. His hands reflexively shot out in a halting motion. He slowly dropped them back to where they had been, by his sides.

Harry considered this. Maybe it would prove to be the wrong decision later but, for some reason, he stayed put.

"I…" Draco began, he swallowed. He was lost for words.

Harry was already anxious and Draco's silence only reminded him that this was a mistake. He started to walk again.

"No!" Draco said "Please! Just…please."

"Please what?" Harry asked, no effort in his voice.

"Please just listen," Draco requested. He closed his eyes, breathed and began. "I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling lies. So I'm going to tell you everything and I promise every word of it will be true. Just please let me explain." He looked at Harry beseechingly, desperately.

"Tell me the truth then," Harry said "did you _ever_ love me?"

His words hung in the air, not because Draco took a while before answering, but because they were heavy.

"Of course I did," Draco told him without missing a heart beat "always. I still do."

"But see it doesn't work," Harry said sadly "because whether you're lying or not the answer is still going to be 'yes'. How am I supposed to know?"

"You've been able to see me when no one else ever had. You know when I'm lying. Look at me and tell me if I'm lying." Draco said.

Harry looked into his eyes and he could help but lose himself in them, he was in riddles when he looked into that silver storm. He looked away. And Draco tried his hardest not to let his lip tremble.

"Now that I'm broken beyond repair you tell me that you love me?" Harry gave a humourless smile "You don't really want me. So just cut it out, I can see you clearly for who you really are now."

Instead of denying it like he should have, Draco looked at Harry, looked into the green and asked, "What am I then? Because I don't know. I used to know. I knew what I was when I was with you. I don't know anymore."

"You're a Death Eater."

Draco let out his breath as if he had just been punched.

"You're a Death Eater," Harry repeated "that has been given a task to kill me. I have to give you credit where it's due though – you did your homework. You knew how to stick the sword in me, the right place and all, hurt when you took it out as well." Harry said matter-of-factly "You really had me going too." Harry looked up at the ceiling, hoping some of the tears that had built in his eyes would thin out. He looked back at Draco. "I wish you meant it when it when you kissed me. When I look at you now I wish I could see someone who loved me, but I only see someone who used me. I told myself that you were perfect for me, that you were the one and because of that I can't go back to you, because all that's there is regret."

He couldn't see Draco clearly because his eyes had a thick layer of water glazing them. When he blinked two large tears fell heavily out of his eyes. He wiped them away hastily, angrily – he kept telling himself that he wasn't worth crying over. He was crying a lot lately, he noted.

"You don't know how much you've seriously fucked me up," Harry told him thickly. He then told him what he had told Ginny, "You know what hurts the most though? Knowing that you meant everything to me and I meant nothing to you."

Harry accepted that for however long this conversation would continue, he would be crying through it and all he could do was wipe away the evidence from his cheeks that showed how deeply he had been cut.

Harry's actions spoke louder than his words and this was amplified into Draco, who stood there and witnessed the pain that he had inflicted. He could see it in Harry's eyes; he could see that he was the one who had broken his heart. He could see that Harry was angry with himself for giving Draco a part of him because Draco had torn it to pieces. Draco knew that he had really messed everything up, they were his mistakes, and Harry didn't deserve to feel their backlash.

"Harry," Draco said and hearing his name hurt Harry even more "I need for you to know that I need you to live."

"I know that," Harry said, confusing Draco "because it's either me or you isn't it? If you don't hand me over you die. I get it."

It was the bluntness of his words that made Draco understand that Harry didn't get it at all. "No!" he exclaimed, horrified "That's not what I meant! I mean that I could not live if it meant living without you. I would rather die."

Harry looked at him with a burning gaze. "I let you hold me…and you let me go." The accusation rung out loud and clear in the uninhabited potions classroom.

Draco couldn't stop his lip from trembling this time. "But it's me that had further to fall," he managed to say without his voice failing him. "If you go…if you leave, I'll…I don't know what I would do because there will only ever be you, there is nobody else." Like Harry, a tear slipped down his pale cheek but he wasn't afraid of Harry seeing it. He knew now that tears didn't mean that you were weak, it meant that you _felt_, that you cared. "Harry, I'm so sorry. I–"

"Stop trying to apologise!" Harry exclaimed loudly. "You taught me everything, you took my hand, you promised me, you held me, you showed me, you caught me. I took your words, everything that you said to me, and I _believed_ them. I believed in everything that you ever said to me – And I can never forgive you for that."

Harry struggled to regulate his breathing. It wasn't erratic but it was evident that he was crying.

"Harry–"

"Don't do that!" Harry suddenly burst out "Don't say my name!"

"Why not?" Draco asked.

"Because it _hurts_!" Harry shouted. He was surprised by the honesty of his answer.

"I don't want to keep hurting you!" Draco told him. "But I can't pretend that it never happened, that we were nothing, because we were _everything_." Draco walked further into the classroom and leaned against a desk not too far away from Harry. Harry was still leaning against his desk rigidly. Draco looked down at the floor. It was strange how Harry's body language was constantly on guard now when the blonde was near. Like all those years before. This made Draco's breath hitch in his throat, which was not tight. He clenched his jaw tightly as he brushed away a few hot tears.

"I keep telling myself that this will all work out…tell me that I'm not lying to myself Harry, tell me I'm not lying." Draco said to Harry, his voice uneven, as he struggled not to give into the strong urge to cry, like he did at the start.

"I used to think you told the truth," Harry said, his eyes vacant and his voice empty whisper "but I'm not sure anymore." Even though it almost killed him, he continued to look straight at Draco while his tears fell, "Because of you, I'm not sure about anything anymore."

Draco didn't speak for a while. This was because he was waiting for a gap in between the vast sea of emotion that was beginning to flood him. When it came, he swallowed back his tears, his throat unpleasantly tight.

"Please let me explain? Please let me explain everything to you. You deserve to hear the truth."

He waited for Harry to answer him. He had to wait a long time.

"I deserve a lot more," Harry finally said.

"I know," Draco agreed quietly "but I'll start with this. Will you listen?"

Harry closed his eyes, causing two more tears to slide down his tear-streaked face. For some reason, he thought about his dreams. He thought about the feeling of _really_ losing Draco. Maybe he knew that if he didn't listen that would be it, that he wouldn't have Draco anymore. He thought about his mother. _Forgiveness_. But mainly, if Draco was offering him the truth, he couldn't deny that he wanted to know it.

"I'll listen," Harry said softly. _I'll listen even though I know it will tear me a part even more, but that's okay because in a sick and unhealthy way the tearing makes me feel alive_.

And then he began.

"I fell in love with you in April of our fifth year. It was real. I was scared but I had never been happier. No one except us knew…Dumbledore as well. You were my secret and I was yours. I learnt how to live differently because you taught me how. I learned how to love because you gave me a reason to. Slowly, I started to become better. Then we left Hogwarts for the summer break. Everything was perfect. We would meet in secret. You filled my empty and cold life with excitement, fun, pleasure, laughter…love. Do you remember that afternoon in Diagon Alley, a week before school recommenced? That was the last time I felt free to be with you before it happened. A few days before the start of term the Dark Lord came to the Manor. He told me that Dumbledore was no longer a concern of his, therefore not a concern of mine. He told me I had one year, one year to bring you to him. After he left I locked myself in my bathroom for what seemed like an eternity. I had never felt more afraid in my entire life and you know that my life has been shaped around fear. It was not really so much as a decision that an automatic response but I knew that I needed to protect you. So I decided to distance myself from you.

"September first I came into your compartment on the train with Pansy and Blaise and I did not look at you. You asked me why I was acting that way and I ended things with you. I did that so you would not be with me, because now being with me was dangerous. Being with me risked _your_ life and I simply could not have that. But I was selfish and I wanted you too much to not be with you. Watching me hurt you was so hard. I came back to you, knowing that it would only hurt you in the long run. That night you let me make love to you. It was an experience which brought me even closer to you.

"The night of your parents' anniversary I was with you by the lake and you wondered what He was up to; the Dark Lord. And what made me sick was that I knew. But I still promised you that whatever it was, I would keep you safe. Not long after we had another sixth year games and I realised that I would marry you in a heartbeat. While I was happy to see you glowing, I was also devastated because I knew that I would never get to have that with you. I would never get to have a family with you. _Never_.

"Christmas: what had always been the most despised day out of the entire year for me, you blew me away, yet again, by transforming it into a day I would forever cherish. Those two weeks…I cannot even describe them. I had you all to myself, I had my boyfriend all to myself, for a whole two weeks. It was like living somebody else's life. It seemed too good to be true. Every word I whispered in your ear after each time we slept together was true. I got to share with you so much. When I told you things about myself that you had never known, you had this look in your eyes. Then was when I knew I was everything to you, it made me feel…it made me feel as if my heart could not be contained in my chest any longer because it was sure to explode from sheer love. Though, it made it harder: knowing that I was a part of you and when I left that I would be taking it with me…taking it away from you. It _wounded_ me to know that. When I told you, when everything was too much I would escape by being with you, I meant it. When you danced with me that night in Venice, I did not think I would ever be happier than in that moment. That was until you made love to me in the rain, then I decided that I would never be happier than in _that_ moment. When I told you I loved you more than anything else in the world, I meant it.

"When I left you at King's Cross, I did not want to go for I knew awaiting me at home was the blackness you always eradicated. I had to return home and face my burden and it was horrible. I had spent two, treasured weeks with you and then I was forced to reveal to my parents how I was to lure you in. I didn't. I left home. I stayed with Blaise for the rest of the break. I hated it, hated every fucking minute. I was lying to them and I was lying to you. I did not care about them Harry, I cared about how well I was lying to them because _your_ life depended on it. And while I had to lie, I had to come back to you and hide everything. I felt…repulsive…unworthy of you.

"Through this journey we have had, through the knew experiences I have had with you, I remembered the old ones too. I remembered how, at first, we began things slowly and I love you for that, for making sure I was okay before we went further. All these memories of the mistakes that I made with us, you still loved me through all of them and I cannot thank you enough for that.

"You then told me that you wanted to come out, you told me that you were ready. I hated holding you back, I hated holding _us_ back. It's true, I was scared, but I would have done it for you, I swear it. I…I couldn't do it though, I couldn't say yes to you. You know why now. I said it was because I wasn't ready, it was half true but it wasn't the full truth. It wasn't what you deserved, I know that. If we came out it would have reached my father…it would have reached _Him_. Harry, I was so afraid, I couldn't…fuck, the thought of you dying. Or me being dead and being unable to protect you. That thought, that thought _there_ was what blocked every decision that I made since the beginning of the year. Every crossroad that I came to with you, I wasn't given four ways because there was only one. It was the one that kept us both alive until the end and consequently it was also the one that kept us a secret. All I kept thinking was, _what happens if they find out I'm truly in love with him?_

"You do not know what it is like – everything you do is constricted by anxiety. You sit there everyday, waiting for it, wondering when it will take you over. Everything is a 'what if'. Everything is based upon the thing that is locked away inside of you, eating at you. I had this weight on my shoulders, pushing me down and I had to keep it from crushing me whilst hiding my struggles from you. I thought by keeping you in the dark…I…I do not know what I thought. I put it off for months, I avoided it all. I was ignorant, I was stupid. In my mind I thought, _this is my task, I can handle it. I do not need any help from anyone else_. I was not thinking rationally because at the back of my mind I had the image of you dead and it…it really fucked me up from the inside out.

"Fuck Harry, and then you began talking about dying in the war – _you_ dying in the war. You did not know it but you hit too close to home. Those words burned me. They made me realise that death was so real, _too_ real and it could happen at any given time. That was what had been driving me – keeping you alive. Right when those orders hissed at me what to do, I knew that you were more important.

"You said to me, 'It's better to be slapped by the truth then kissed with a lie.' That burned too – right through me. I knew the slap would hurt you and so I kissed you instead. I am sorry. Not because the kiss was untrue, it _was_ true; I love you and that is the truth. Hiding the truth from you hurt _me_. Every. Single. Time. Every single time I lied it ate away at me. I called myself a serpent slithering in my own lies. I did not mean it to hurt you, I did it to protect you, I swear it.

"Then you began to notice. I had tried so hard to hide it from you. You had suspected for a while though. You screamed at me, you shouted at me. You told me that I had to stop bottling things up, that it would hurt me. You were right, it _did_ hurt me. However not as much as if you were dead, so I kept my mouth shut. You asked me countless times what was wrong, countless opportunities and I turned them all down. I upset you, no, I _hurt_ you all those times I disregarded your attempts to help me, but still you cared. You told me that you were honest with me because you were the only person who would do that for me. And I fell even harder for you. By that stage I knew that when I died, you would fall and I wouldn't be there to catch you. Even though you have always been stronger than me, I fucking hated myself for it.

"You wanted to know why I was afraid. I was afraid because it was all so hard. I did not want to deal with it, because I did not know how much more I could deal with. You asked me again what was wrong and I told you that I could not tell you. You let go just like that, without a fight. You said it was because you trusted me. I suppose now you are thinking that you should not have, but you should. I still have not let you down yet. Harry," Draco looked at him, hoping to communicate the genuine emotions he was feeling "I was _never_ going to give you in. I love you, _I_ loved you _before_ any of this. I decided, finally I had decided, that I would right a letter to you; I knew that I had to tell you eventually. I was scared how you would react. I needed so much, so badly, for you to understand, for you to see. All I knew was that I had to keep you safe, simply had to. It was a fundamental need. I could not lose you because if I lost you, I lost myself.

"That is when I started getting letters from my father. He demanded I relay all my plans to him. He threatened me with several life-altering things. He told me how disgusted he was in me, in my behaviour. I did not care. I hated him even more. I hated myself. For the mark on my arm. For hurting you. For every fucking thing. I burnt the letters. I ignored them.

"You gave me the dream whisperer. I had not been sleeping well. I listened to it. It said to me, '_If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, and I'll stay there forever_.' And I knew that time was running out. I knew that what was happening was real. Every moment we had together, I prized every second of it because I knew that they were limited. And…you…fuck," and just like that sobs ruptured out him "you do not know what it was li-like when I started counting the months. It started with f-four months and the whole world seemed to st-stop when I finally let myself think, _I have four more months with you_. It was not enough. No time e-ever spent with you would be enough for me, ever will be. Th-three months, I told myself, three months left with you. I didn't know w-what to do, what to t–think. I thought, _I was supposed to m-marry him, I was supposed to have a f-family with him, I was supposed to wake up b-beside him in the mornings when we were both old and happy and tell him that I l-loved him_. Knowing that that would not happen, that we would never have that, made m-my heart s-s-stoped beating. I felt like I w-was already d-dead. I had to stop myself from s-screaming. I couldn't concentrate."

Draco took a moment to calm himself, he needed to say this.

"We fought in the room of requirement and a few days after you asked me if it was y-you, if you were the problem. You said that every time something was bothering me I would a-avoid you. You wanted to know if I was avoiding you because you were the problem. Harry, you were never the problem – you were the answer…to every question I ever had. I am sorry I made you feel that way. I am s-sorry that I could not give you the answers that you knew I was keeping f-from you. I am sorry. You always asked me those questions when I was most vulnerable and I was afraid of slipping."

He swallowed. He bit him lip to stop it from trembling. His heart was throwing itself against his chest at a million miles per hour. He was beyond petrified. Now was his time though, all those times he was afraid, now was his time to be brave. He only had one chance at this.

"I could not put it off any longer. Time pulled you further and further out of my gasp and I had to decide what to do before you were ripped away from me permanently. I gave myself seven options. The first was to tell you everything, the second was to tell Dumbledore and receive protection from the Order, the third was to run away with you. By the fourth I was getting desperate, I considered making an elf drink Polyjuice potion and act as you, die in your place. The fifth was to refuse to complete the task, the sixth was to change sides in the war, which I had already done though not openly and the last one was to bring you to the Manor along with the Order.

"The last option was ludicrous because I would not compromise your safety for anything. The most dangerous place in the entire world for you and I would be walking you straight in there, into a d-death trap. No. Harry, I have been on your side since the moment I said 'I love you'. Denying the task could take two paths; failure to complete it, which would most likely result in my death, and simply refusing it. Refusing it would have meant questioning as to why. They would find out and use me to get to you. Again, I would not compromise your life. I know that you have been planning the Dark Lord's downfall and that would r-require, I assumed, you being seen in public. That is why the elf option was faulty. As much as I wanted to escape with you it would be impossible. The Dark Mark on my arm means that I could be tracked and we would b-both be killed. I am a danger to you and knowing that…it is a weight that I wish upon no one. I did not know whom I could trust. I was restricted by the voice in my head that told me that this problem was mine to face and mine alone. I thought it would be weak that I could not protect you myself. I…I know better now. And then…and then I knew."

His throat constricted and his mouth was dry, unlike his eyes, which were filling and leaking pained tears.

"It hit me. The force of it to-took over me, shocking me. I knew that this is how it would be. It was not just our lives at risk but our love t-too. I had a task that would tear us apart and I h-had to cope with that. The thought of you…dying...it made my chest hurt. You do not understand I–"

His hands balled up into fists where they were, his lips pinching together. "I could not let it happen!" he cried. "I would not let you die! I kept thinking about _my_ death, the ways that _I_ would die, how I would s-sacrifice myself for you and _it did not bother me_. I was okay with that. It was _you_, you that I could not handle. It was unbearable. Because I could not live without you! I was selfish and I did not care that you were the Chosen One, that the world needed you too, all I cared about was at the end of the day I could have you in my arms because it was literally painful to imagine a life without you. A life without those green eyes. A life without your love.

"I asked myself, 'How can I walked away when I love you so much? I belong with you!' When you were sick I stayed with you until you fell asleep and I whispered in your ear, 'I'll never say goodbye…I'll just say goodbye for now.' But I knew that I would have to say goodbye soon. I m-missed you already. I did not want to let go; I _do not_ want let go.

"It made me think back, to the beginning. You made me feel so fucking scared yet so fucking happy. The second that I kissed you everything went away but not just that – you made everything b-better. I can never thank you enough for the way you touched my life. You made me see things I never saw before, even though they were right in front of me. And when you touched me…you set my _soul_ fire. My spirit. My heart. My being. You gave me meaning, you showed me what things meant and why they were the way they were. You n-noticed things about me that no one else ever had; like how my lips slightly pout when I am thinking or how my mouth turns down a fraction when I lie. You did the impossible; you put me back together again. You n-never abandoned me no matter how hard things were, you stood by me. What more could I ask for? When I shared myself with you, every emotion that you saw, every tear I shed was real. It was all real. My love for has always been real. Harry, it will always be real. Do you want to know h-how I know it is real? Because you watch me and then you tell me things that make sense, things about me, which are so deep and insightful it scares me sometimes. I need your sight more than I need air. How could a person know me so well? You can because you love me. Your love is real too. It is all real, always."

If Draco thought that all of had been hard, he realised it was simple compared to what he was to say next.

"I need to tell you about Easter. Please let me tell you. I need to say it. I need to tell you what happened."

He didn't even bother trying to retain the tears and sobs and all the pent up emotions that began to pour out of him.

"S-Snape told me I was to return home. He took me there himself. I told you not to worry, but r-really I wasn't sure myself whether I would be coming back or not. I was so scared Harry. You engraved our names on a desk in the Room of requirement and t-told me that one day we would add to that date. I knew that day would never arrive. On the train I savoured the feeling of calmness, because I kn-new I would never feel it again. I had been ignoring my father's letters. When I arrived home, I pr-prayed that _He_ would not be there. Harry I prayed so hard, willed for Him not to be there. I asked for that one thing to go right. And it did. My parents called me in to s-see them. I remember the room being so cold and so quiet. My father t-told me he was disgusted, that I was a disgrace. He slapped me…twice. He said, 'You will reveal your intentions to me.' I made my mother, the woman who had never protected me, promise they would both wait until I h-had finished speaking to speak. I was granted that.

"I told them that I had a strategy. That I knew all of your f-flaws and strengths, like how you had a h-habit of breaking the rules, like how you were experienced in self-defence and how you had a need to s-s-save others. I sounded like I was r-reading a report. I fucking hated myself. I t-told them I had discovered things a-ab-about you. I said you were controlled by your e-emotions and you would sacrifice your life for your fr-riends. I told them the d-death of your parents controlled most of your decisions, whether your realised it or not. I told them how you had been abused by your muggle relatives and how it still had an impa-pact on you."

He didn't know how Harry would forgive him. But he knew that he deserved the truth as much as Draco needed to say it.

"I told them how you are s-so protective of those whom you love. I said nothing could stop you from loving. I s-said I had learned one thing that no one else had."

"No…" Harry breathed, making a sound for the first time. He had been standing their silent, crying and breaking; listening, as he had promised. It was terrible because Harry already knew this, he had read the letter, but hearing it hurt so much more. He was so fragile in that moment. Draco didn't want him to hurt anymore; he didn't want to cry anymore.

"I told them that I realised that you h-had feelings for me; strong ones that had been there for a long time. That they had been easy to see because you displayed y-your emotions so openly. I said you were essentially an easy target. I told them the only way to earn your trust was to form an emotional bond with you. I said…I said that…that…I had you w-wrapped around my fingers…b-because I had you under the impression that I was in love w-with you. I said I feigned my feelings for you once I w-w-was sure of your own for me. I said I had your trust and I h-had your heart neatly wrapped in a secret." He paused to catch his breath.

"I said that it was just sex," Draco continued, still gasping "I said that it meant nothing to me."

Harry brought his hand up to cover his mouth to muffle the pained sound that escaped him.

That sound was like an arrow shooting straight into Draco's heart, puncturing it. "I said I played my part well, well enough to bury my feelings and focus on completing what had been asked of me. My father asked of my feelings t-t-towards you. I told him I still h-hated you, despised you, but I was loyal to our family and to the Dark Lord. I said I would not fail Hi-Him; I would not fail our family. I said that I had n-no feelings towards you."

Draco knew what he was going to say next violated everything that was trust and love and he deserved that horrible sound that Harry made when he said, "I told him we went to France."

Draco winced at Harry's expression – it was pure betrayal. An through the pain Harry wondered, wondered how when he thought that there was nothing left of him to burn (because surely he was all ashes now), Draco still found something to set fire to.

"I did not tell him about Italy th-though. I couldn't. That was t-too private. I did not tell him about y-your meetings with Dumbledore. I did not tell h-him about b-be-fore the task. Harry, I had been _ignoring_ his letters. I n-never opened them! That is wh-why Snape told me I had been summoned h-ho-home. What my father p-puts in his letters is heartless and uninf-formed and untrue."

They both wanted to disappear and end the pain, but Draco loved him too much to let go. He looked at Harry and knew he was about to truly break from everything Draco had told him. He needed Harry to hold on just a bit longer.

"I felt horrible!" He shouted, but it wasn't angry. It was the sound of desperation and truth and anguish all fused together to make sincerity in its most heartbreaking form. "I felt like a repulsive person! All I wanted was t-t-to vanish from life and reopen my eyes to find you lying next to me, in a world that was only ours. I did not deserve your love, your care, y-your kiss, your protection, your touch, your time, your curing…but that is what I thought of the whole time. Harry they were lies! I said them, those cruel things, in order t-to keep you safe! I lied to _them_! I never lied to you about my love for you, every moment of it was true!

"When I came back from Easter, to Hogwarts, I had holes. I was vulnerable. I was afraid. And I knew that you could s-see it. I said things to you that night of the games, I told you that bad things always seemed to happen, I said I was scared, I told you I never wanted to let you go…I told you I loved you. And still you stood by me because you could see I was b-br-breaking and you were there; ready to patch me whole again.

"Dumbledore revealed that he knew about us and I wanted to be sick. I was frozen with fear. I did not know how he knew or worse – what else he knew. He was a liability. I was scared shitless. A thousand unanswered questions in my head, my mind in overload. The anxiety flared up in me. You reassured me and I began to wonder whether I should rethink whom I trusted. Y-you have always changed me for the better, you have.

"Our anniversary – it was amazing. I felt like I was living in a dream after being in a nightmare for so long. I gave everything I had to you that night. Every time we have made love I have given myself to you. And you have taken care of me. Right from the beginning you cherished me. You nurtured me. Harry I…I love you so much. You do not know what you have done for me and I know that I keep saying it but I do not know how to thank you because you are _everything_ to me. When I'm with you…I'm a seventeen year old boy who has the love of his life with him. When I am with you there is no war, there is no fighting or conflict – there is just us. The two of us. That has always been enough. Simply holding your hand or getting lost in the forest that is your eyes is enough for me. I love how you always push me to tell you how I feel; I love how your eyes light up when you see me; I love how you have this incredible ability to sense things in people; I love how honest you are with me; I love how compassionate and empathetic you are; I love how when you wake up next to me in the mornings you entwine your legs with mine; I love how you know the right things to say or the right things to do; I love how every imperfection you have makes you even more perfect; I love how after we make love you do not comment on how I hold you close to me, instead you just hold me closer; I love how…I love _you_."

He was almost done, almost. He needed for Harry to see.

"And then you read that letter. Harry, _it is _not_ true_." Draco's voice was a coda, which silently shouted a hidden element – begging. Begging for Harry to understand. "Now you know everything. You know it all. You know why he wrote those things. You know what I have been hiding. You know all my thoughts and feelings. What I _need_ for you to know is out of all the things I have done…the hardest has been knowing that I have hurt you. I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry. I never meant it to be this way. All I have done is cry. And think about how to show you the truth, how to say it. It hurt so much, the thought of it being over. I am sorry."

There was a silence like no other. Harry was so completely overwhelmed. He didn't know what to feel but he supposed that was a good thing as it would help him to continue to function without shutting down.

"Do you believe me?" Draco asked him. It was a very long time before Harry answered him.

"What if you're lying?" There was that unspoke, _if I say that I believe you and you're lying I don't think that I would survive it all again_.

"All along I knew, I decided, that I would die. I accepted it a long time ago and everything I have done since then, every decision I have made, has been to keep you alive, knowing that I would die. And I am okay with that, I really am. I am okay as long as you are." Draco replied.

"That letter…" Harry couldn't even describe how painful it was.

"My parents do not care about my happiness, my parents are ignorant, but they are still my parents and they are still alive; and while that still holds true I have to tolerate them. I hate them, but just because people have a child does not mean they should be parents. I do not love them, I love you and because of that I lied to _them_ instead of _you_." Draco told him "I do not care what my parents or anyone else says; I am in love with you. I acknowledged that a long time ago; that everything was going to try and pull us apart. We are a secret and no one knows our truth."

"How do I know that you're not lying to me?" Harry asked. "How do I know whether or not you're wearing a mask?"

"I wear no disguise when I am with you," Draco told him "no one else gets to see me except for you." He sighed as he wiped at his wet eyes again. "I suppose I just tried to save you but I did not know, how so I got it all wrong. I am sorry; it is my fault it is like this. If I had just told you from the start this would not have happened. I know that I do not deserve it…but I want to start again, fall one more time. I want to be able to go back and undo the decisions I made. I know I cannot do that. But if you leave I'll…" He couldn't even say it because he couldn't imagine it. "I am…I'm asking for one more chance."

When Harry finally answered he said, "You broke all the promises you ever made me, why should you get to get me back?"

"I promised to love you," Draco told him "I have not broken that."

"You broke my heart."

"And that is what broke mine."

Harry hated that Draco could make tears slip put of his eyes with such ease.

Harry's lips trembled and his voice was thick with tears when he spoke, "I trusted you to hold my heart."

"I am sorry," Draco said quietly, his voice constricted also "I am sorry that I cut it into pieces. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I apologise that we are in this situation now where we are both hurting because I didn't tell you everything. I'm trying so hard to make you see that I need you with me. I'm sorry that I couldn't be brave enough. But I can't be without you. I need you because…you're the only thing that I've got right now. You are so beautiful to me Harry."

"What do you want from me?" Harry whispered.

"I want your love, I want to be loved by you. I want your touch, your eyes, your voice, your words, your smile, your comfort, your safety, your protection. I want it all. Because I am nothing without it. I was nothing, had nothing, before you. And now that _you _are gone I'm nothing too. We are nothing without each other."

"Been saving that one have you?" Harry asked him.

"I don't know how to say how I feel," Draco exclaimed. He said what he knew to be true, "I love you."

"You say those three words too much…but they're not enough this time." Harry told him sadly.

"No," Draco shook his head softly "they are not said _enough_." As he spoke his arms outstretched, trying to make Harry understand. "It is hard for me to say the things that I want to say sometimes even though there is no one here but you and I. When I say these five words, I mean them with everything that I am – I'm sorry…and I love you." Draco said.

"That was six."

"I was only counting the important ones."

Draco took a few steps forward so that he was only a few meters away from Harry. He looked into Harry's soul and with every feeling that he had he said, "Please, _please_…don't leave me." He drew in a sharp breath and it hitched in his throat as he fought to keep the ocean of tears at bay. He tried so hard to stop the sobbing. Harry's chest hurt as he felt his own sob rise within it. "Please don't leave me Harry…_please_. Because my I've found something for the very first time with you and if you go…" he had to say this, he had to push through the pain and the crying and he had to say this. "I need your love!" He cried. "To show me that there is something beautiful about life!"

Draco looked down. That was everything he had, all of it. He had given Harry his own eyes so that Harry could see him.

_Can the forgiveness in my heart rise above?_ Harry thought of Lily in his dream. He was afraid to think with his heart instead of his head. His head was telling him to run, to not make the same mistake, to not trip on the same rock again because maybe this time he wouldn't get back up. His head was telling him that Draco was dangerous.

His heart?

His heart told him that the corner of Draco's mouth had not turned down once. His heart told him that he loved him…so very much. His heart saw and understood. It accepted the hardships that it saw and the struggles. But mostly, it recognised the same pain in Draco's heart that Harry had been feeling in his. They were the same.

"You're the only one who knows me better than I know myself, and if you didn't think there was any hope of me believing you, you wouldn't be here." Harry said.

Draco looked up, daring to hope.

"I believe you."

For a moment the words hung in the air and they were tasted to see if they were true. Draco made a chocked sound as he closed the space between them, pulling Harry into an embrace. Something clicked as soon as they touched, something sparked, like their hearts were rejoicing to be together again. That was when they realised there were no two hearts, there was only one. They had each been living with half a heart and now they were united again, they were whole.

They were home. Each of them both thinking: _I have you in my arms again_. All the pain, all the torment, all the sadness was over because it was okay. They were not going to leave each other. The relief was a wave of euphoria that would never crash and dissipate, they could ride it forever.

The reassurance that everything they had between them was real was so great it brought tears to Harry's eyes. His arms were wrapped around Draco's waist tightly, holding him close. His cheek pressed into the crook of Draco's warm neck. He let out a breath of contentment. Just having him near was enough.

Draco had his arms around Harry's neck, holding him so tightly because he wanted them to merge together as one; but really it was because he didn't want to risk ever letting him go. _Thank you_, he thought.

Everything was all right.

Harry loosened his grip so that he could look at Draco. He missed the storm, the silver glint.

"If you break my heart again, I'll…." Harry trailed off in warning. He should have ended it in 'kill you' but he knew the real ending would have been 'die'.

He pressed a soul-searing kiss to Draco's lips and Draco surrendered his tongue and mouth to the Gryffindor. He placed his hands on either side of Harry's face, framing it as his perfect picture.

Soon kisses turned to touches and it was like falling in love all over again. Their actions communicated everything they needed to say; yet they were still accompanied by the murmur of their love. There was nothing else other than the strokes of his fingers, the curve of his hip, the deep hat within him, the line of his lips, the shudder down his spine, the warm clasp of his hand, the edge of his jaw, the deepness in his eyes, the love in his heart.

Every touch asked for the other to stay forever in the other's arms; there was no other place but there. As they lay there together they entangled their limbs and then they truly did not know where they begun and ended. Their eyes never closed, but remained in an intimate lock; occasionally fluttering shut with the pleasure of the other's touch. Lying on the heat-charmed floor, they made sure nothing was left un-caressed. The decision to stay that night was mutual.

The sudden, complete understanding came when they did; only being on the same level of mind brought them both equal comprehensions. The familiarity of their bodies gave them the confidence to express the pain and the joy without fear. Neither held back that night. Everything was tender and distance was a word that may as well have never existed. Caring hearts, affectionate strokes. Each thrust extended a message that could never be written in a letter or spoken through words, only the deepest intimacy could express it.

Their actions were primitive, simple, and yet absolutely meaningful. Tasting the glistening layer of sweat that coated their skin reminded them how real it all was, not some perfect dream that was too fantastic to be a reality.

Happiness was a blanket thrown over them, warm, enveloping them in their old love that was new. Their love was reborn in forgiveness and new eyes that could penetrate the thickest of hardships.

"They will never take me away from you," Harry murmured in Draco's ear "there is nothing that they can do."

And it did not take very long before they were reminding each of their love all over again.

You are mine.

I love you.

Together forever.

No mountain was large enough that they could not climb – together. Achieving the stars seemed so logical, if they both outstretched their arms. As their heats beat in sync, time escaped them.

Eventually, Harry remembered how to move again.

Draco felt compelled to talk to Harry about what they were going to do, however Harry hushed him, "Not tonight. We can worry about that tomorrow. Just enjoy now."

"That is unlike you," Draco noted.

Harry shrugged sleepily, "I want one last night before I have to worry about the whole world."

"My problems seem as heavy as the whole world," Draco sighed "it is not up to you to solve them you know."

"While I will try my hardest, I can't solve all your problems, but I promise you I will not let you face them alone." Harry vowed, resting his head on Draco's chest.

"And I promise you that I will learn from my mistakes," Draco told him.

"I know," Harry said softly. "You can't be silent anymore," he said "you have so much to say and nothing will change unless you say it."

"This is so far from perfect," Draco said, stroking his hand through Harry's sweat-coated hair "yet you are so perfect."

"We're the perfect pair…we're just not in the perfect situation," Harry corrected him.

"I am not leaving you," Draco felt the need to repeat it.

"Good," Harry said "because I'd stop breathing if you did." Harry held onto him tighter, not planning to let go anytime soon.

Draco sighed, "I am sorry I messed everything up."

"We all make mistakes," Harry told him "I still love you and you still love me, that's what matters Draco."

"I just…"

"We'll make it through this," Harry promised him "will it be hard? Yes. Will it be painful? Yes. Will it require every ounce of persistence and faith and trust and hope? You bet. But in the end, you don't have to be scared because I'll face it all with you." he wove his fingers with Draco's and smiled. And when Draco looked into Harry's eyes he saw how much he cared. "What are you thinking about?"

"I am thinking that while I want you next to me always–"

Harry heard the 'while' and cut Draco off before he could finish whatever ridiculous thought he had been thinking.

"I will _always_ be there – no matter what you say or do. I don't care. I won't let anybody hurt you. I will never leave you alone. I'll be right beside you through everything that it thrown at us. When you're faced with a decision and you don't know what to do I'll be there, holding your hand, the whole time. And when everything seems dark and you can't see any way out, I'll be there, we'll find a way out."

And Draco trusted him. "Okay," he let out a deep, relieving breath.

"Just forget," Harry murmured "just for tonight, forget." He placed soft, caring pecks on his lips.

"Mmhmm," Draco hummed. Their kisses became slightly deeper. "Harry?"

"Mmm?"

"Thank you," Draco whispered. "All that I am, I am I because of you. When you lift me, I am strong. I owe everything to you."

"You only owe me one thing," Harry said.

"And that is?"

"To be with me always. Be with me in the mornings, be with me when I'm scared, be with me when I'm hurt, be with me when I'm happy, be with me when I'm sad."

"I can do that."

"Good," Harry said contently. "Kiss me goodnight?"

Draco smiled lazily. He brought his hand up through Harry's hair and placed the other one behind his neck, bringing Harry closer. Their lips met in a kiss, sealed by their mouths and tied by their tongues, which moved in a smooth harmony.

The last thing that was said before they drifted off into a sleep, which unlike the past weeks', was peaceful, was a repetition of a promise that ran deeper blood – as deep as the bond they shared.

"I promise you I will not let you face anything alone." 

**27,209 words – I never thought that I would be saying this at 14, but I think I need a drink.**

**Thank you to all of your amazing reviews, kind words, help, support and friendship. Four more chapters left, none of them will be this long however. As always, you ideas and suggestions are more than welcome, I actually encourage them :) I know, I know, I'm really behind schedule :/ **

**I hope that this chapter was everything that it was meant to be?**

**Alli xxxxx**


	18. The Hard Things

**I know, I know, I'm a fucking horrible person. I remind myself of it daily, don't worry. Excuse me whilst I get out Umbridge's pen and write: **_**I will not damage people's emotions; I will not destroy people's lives.**_

**This is the end of HBP; the next chapter will be DH. **

***Reference* I did use bits of HBP in this: it was to make it as realistic and interlinked with the original JKR Harry Potter.**

**2 ½ chapters left. I'm really, really behind. I have exams in 3 weeks and I'm frustrated because I'm a month behind on this story. I seriously apologise and I have been hating on myself for two months. I love you all so much. Thanks for reading!**

****Finished my exams a week ago (weeeeew!) My English teacher hates me and gave me a C (because I complained about her lack of competence) and I am a fail Italian because I got 98% on my French and 90% on my Italian LOL!**

**To all those who I did not reply to your review: I am so sorry, mi dispiace tanto, je suis tellement désolé! I **_**did **_**receive**__**them and thank you so much I'm on holidays for the next two weeks so hopefully I should get through one and a half chapters!**

**(Side Note: "Confuzzling" is not an actual word. It is a word I created by morphing 'confusing' and 'puzzling' to explain an extremely confusing state of emotion!)**

**Chapter 18**

**THE HARD THINGS**

It being a weekend did not really matter because, let's be honest here, even if it was a weekday they would not have gotten up anyway.

Draco could not remember a time where he slept in; he was a morning person. He did not voluntarily wake up early, he just did. He would open his eyes and no matter what he did he simply could not close them again. In contrast, Harry was most definitely _not_ a morning person. He could sleep until the late afternoon. He was a heavy sleeper and if, for some strange reason, his eyes opened before a minimal, solid twelve hours of sleep he closed them again and without further thought he would fall back asleep.

This didn't bother Draco though, he was quite happy to watch Harry sleep. It was one of his most favourite things to do. This was because he could stare shamelessly at Harry; trace his thumb over his lips; draw patterns on his body with his fingers; whisper things to him; and Harry wouldn't wake up.

After a while Draco decided to wake Harry up. He was already lying flush naked next to Harry, legs entwined. He first placed a gentle kiss on Harry's nose; Harry twitched slightly but did not wake. He then kissed his cheek, his jaw, his lips, his eyelids. Harry drew in a large, awakening breath and Draco felt Harry's legs stretch out next to his. The blonde then peppered the Gryffindor's face with feathery kisses.

"Mmmh," Harry moaned and he turned his head and buried his face in the pillow " 'm tired."

Draco chuckled. "After last night? I would say so."

"How long have you been awake?" Harry asked. Draco shrugged. "That long, huh?"

"I don't mind," Draco smiled. "Besides, I like watching you sleep."

"Am I that entertaining?" Harry teased. Draco rolled his eyes but returned the grin.

"You are so warm," Draco sighed happily. Harry instinctively hugged Draco closer and pulled the blankets up higher, so that they snuggled cosily together.

"Draco?" Harry said suddenly.

"Yes?"

"How did we get in the Room of Requirement?" A cheeky grin slowly painted itself on Draco's lips and Harry decided that that was a very good reason to be concerned. "Why are you grinning like that?"

This only made Draco's smirk grow larger, if that were possible. "No reason in particular."

"How did we get in here?" Harry repeated. "Why are you smiling!"

"Well you would not remember, would you? You were asleep." Draco replied. "Ask me no questions and I will tell you no lies."

"Shit what did I do? You do? We do? Draco!"

Draco laughed. "Well you fell asleep and I could not risk anyone coming in and finding us naked on the floor together; but I did not want to wake you. So I…_might_ _have_ carried you to the Room of Requirement."

"Might have?" Harry asked wide-eyed.

"Could have."

"Could have?"

"It is quite likely I did."

Harry stared at him.

"Alright, I did."

For some bizarre reason this completely embarrassed Harry and he buried his head in the pillows. Draco found this adorable. "If it is any comfort," Draco smiled, kissing Harry's shoulder "you are quite light." Harry groaned and Draco laughed.

Draco turned Harry back around to face him. Harry decided to move on top of Draco and rest his head on the blonde's chest. Draco lovingly pulled the covers over Harry shoulders so that he kept warm. "It feels so good to have you in my arms again," Draco murmured into Harry's hair as he brought his hand up to stroke it.

Harry closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of Draco's hands running through his hair and the feeling of his body pressed up against his, and for once, he had no intention of falling back asleep. "I don't plan on them again," Harry said.

"Good," Draco replied, "because I have no intention of letting you go."

Harry kissed Draco's chest. Everything was going to be okay…

"Draco," Harry began. His tone indicating that they could put off the discussion no longer.

"No," Draco pressed a loving kiss to Harry's hair.

Harry couldn't help but smile. "Draco," he said again.

"One more kiss," Draco negotiated.

"_One_," Harry allowed, secretly quite content with the deal. Harry propped himself up and pressed his lips to Draco's. It was quite a chaste kiss that quickly turned into to Draco asking permission with his tongue and Harry opening his mouth, granting him access. Draco tilted his head so that they could bring their mouths impossibly closer and Harry wondered how Draco's mouth was so warm when the rest of his was constantly in need of heat.

Draco let his hand innocently trail down Harry's side with not so innocent intentions. His fingers edged inwardly on Harry's hip, brushing near–

Harry made a sound of protest. "Draco," he reprimanded, "you said a _kiss_."

"I changed my mind," Draco smirked cheekily. He brought his mouth to Harry's pulse point on his neck and sucked on it while his fingers finally reached their destination. "Oppose?"

Harry definitely did _not_ oppose, and he felt no need to vocalise this; so instead he connected his mouth back to Draco's and sucked on his tongue. Draco took hold of Harry's semi-erect cock in his hand and slowly pumped up and down. Harry moaned appreciatively and licked along Draco's jaw.

It was not long before Harry was at full hardness and urging Draco to go faster. Draco ran his thumb over the head of Harry's cock, using his precum to make his movements quicker and smoother. He stroked Harry's hardness up and down, making sure to flick his wrist the way that Harry liked it.

Their mouths met in a string of quick messy kisses, which alerted Draco that Harry was close. Harry rested his head on Draco's chest and groaned, his eyes squeezed shut, as he came. Draco felt a warm liquid on his hands and chest, this only made his rigid erection throb longingly.

After Harry had recovered from his post-orgasmic bliss, he sat up, straddled Draco's leg and wasted no time in grasping the blonde's erect cock; loving the feeling of gripping the thick and hard flesh. While he drew delicious noises from the blonde, Harry picked up Draco's wrist and brought the Slytherin's hand up to Harry's mouth so that he could lick his own cum of Draco's hand. It did not take long for Harry to bring him to the brink.

"You close?" Harry asked, his eyes dark as he watched the beautiful sight beneath him.

"Fuck Harry," Draco groaned.

"I want you to come all over my chest," Harry told him, making Draco moaned. "Draco?"

Draco swallowed looked up, biting his lip.

"_Come_."

And it was the lustful look in Harry's eyes and the domination in his voice that made Draco explode. With a string of swear words Draco came, shuddering and bucking up into Harry's continually pumping hand. Harry could not wait until the next time they would fuck; he wanted to touch and stroke and lick Draco until he was a writhing, over-sensitive mess underneath him. The thought alone made him shudder.

They cleaned up and lay back down together, now newly tired.

"Draco?"

Draco sighed. "Yes, alright." He replied, giving in to unavoidable.

"You've been so brave," Harry whispered.

"I should have been braver," Draco confessed honestly, "for you."

"You were brave enough for me," Harry promised him.

"What do I do?"

The question rang out loud and clear and Harry wondered just how many times over the past year Draco had asked himself that question.

"You go to Dumbledore," Harry said simply, Draco turned his head to look at Harry, "_we_ go to Dumbledore. Don't ask 'why' or 'what good will it do', just do it. We'll figure it out. Draco, this is too big for us. We need to get help on it."

"Why are you so calm about this?" Draco asked, "Someone has asked to have you _killed_."

"It's not _my_ life I'm worried about," Harry told him, looking at him meaningfully. "Do you know how sad it makes me to know that you had accepted your own death? I'm not going to let you die."

Draco looked away under the intensity of Harry's gaze. Even though Harry knew, Draco still felt like his death was a strong possibility.

"Draco." Harry said sharply. He took Draco's chin and turned his head so that they had eye contact again. "You are not – going – to – die. Do you understand me?"

"Honestly Harry," Draco said in all seriousness, "in all honesty, how am I _not_ going to die? Give me a proper answer with justified evidence."

"As long as you are in this castle, as long as you are within these walls, you're safe." Harry stated. Draco just stared at him. Finally, he replied.

"I don't feel safe," Draco said, and in all sincerity, he was trying not to cry.

And those words Harry simply couldn't bear.

He sat up and tugged Draco into his lap. He pulled the covers up and wrapped it around the both of them. He put his arms around Draco and they sat there together, Harry leaning against the headboard.

"Do you feel safe now?" Harry asked.

Draco nodded, his nose bumping into Harry's neck.

"You're so beautiful Draco," Harry murmured.

Draco seemed to melt into Harry's warmth and his embrace.

"For two weeks I woke up alone," Harry told him, like a mother telling her child a bedtime story, "my hands stretched out to try and find you, but you weren't there. It made me sick. I realised that I can never be whole…because I'm a half. You're my other. You're my other piece…you've become a piece of me. I don't want to ever have to wake up knowing, or thinking, or believing that you won't be there ever again, and because of that there isn't something that I wouldn't do to keep you with me. I would give my life for you."

"I love you," Draco murmured. He gave an involuntary sniff.

Harry looked down, wondering why Draco was upset. "Hey," he comforted, "why're you sad?"

"Because I do not want anything to happen to you," he said thickly.

"I'm right here," Harry promised "I'm right here." He tightened their embrace. "Feel that? Right now, I'm here. Think about now, don't think about later."

"But that is what we are doing," Draco pointed out, "we are thinking about later."

"Think about later but don't think about what it will feel like, feel _now_ – right here." Harry corrected himself.

Draco closed his eyes and focused on the pace of Harry's breaths and the speed of his heart. He focused on the warmth of his body and how protected he felt.

"Why is it so hard?" Draco asked.

"Because the best things in life aren't easy, but that's okay because we'll work hard and we'll fight for it. Because I'll give it all…but I promise you, I will not give up."

Harry vowed it; and he believed it more strongly than he had ever believed in something.

Draco could here it in his voice, and he could feel it in the kiss that he gave him, the way their noses bumped together, the way there tongues slid in to place, the way their lips moved in a practised rhythm. They broke apart and pressed their foreheads together, eyes closed, for a moment.

"So this is what we're going to do," Harry sighed, he placed a kiss to Draco's temple. "At the end of the year I'm going to go back home with the protection of the Order. You're going to go back to the Manor and you're going to continue letting them think that you are one of them. You have to make it realistic; we won't be able to communicate. Draco, I wouldn't suggest this if you weren't so good at Occlumency. I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't believe that you could wear the mask as well as you do. That's what Dumbledore will help us with: how you can go back to the Manor and be allowed to live. I..." Harry took a breath "I know what _I _have to do. I have to be His downfall. It's up to me to end this…and I know how. I wish that we could do it together. I wish it were different. We both have our roles to play. And…we'll be separated for however long that takes."

It wasn't ideal. It wasn't wholly safe. It wasn't what they both wanted. But then again, taking into account the circumstances, what was?

"How do I know you won't…" Draco paused and reframed his words, "how do I know that you will come back to me?"

"Because sometimes we win." Harry said curtly, his voice strong. "We're both pieces in this game, we've been placed on different sides of the board, but we'll both fight just as hard to win, to live, to stay in the game...to stay on the board."

"If we're on different sides…then how can we both win?"

"With love," Harry said. He thought about how clichéd it sounded, but then that was replaced by thoughts of how true it was.

"I'd rather sacrifice myself than risk you being taken off the board." Draco told him.

"No," Harry shook his head in a sad yet affectionate way, "I need you on the board…you're the best player. You're my white knight." Teased Harry.

"Oh fuck off," Draco snorted, nipping Harry's chin affectionately. Then, his face resumed its sad front. "I'm nothing without you." Draco said. How could he play when he knew that Harry was gone? That Harry was in a place that he too could also go to?

"You are _everything_," Harry's green gaze intense, "with or without me." 

"We are each other."

"Forever."

And for the first time in a long time, Draco felt real hope.

"I won't let anything hurt you," Harry swore. "Even though I will not be next to you, I will be. Every second and don't you forget it Draco. If you ever feel that you are going to give up, it'll be _my_ voice in your head telling you to stop being fucking stupid and to keep pushing and hoping and fighting. Because if you ever give up, we can't be together again. _That_ is what I fight for, every day, that we will one day be together without wars tearing us apart; fears separating us; people coming in between us; fate pulling us away from each other. If you give up, I have nothing to fight for. If you ever…" Harry did not need to continue for his warning to reach its destination. He was saying this because he knew how hard it would get and he wouldn't be around to constantly remind Draco to not give in. It worried him.

"The same applies for you, Harry." Draco told him. "I know that you are strong, stronger than I am, but if _you_ ever…" he couldn't even finish that sentence because he knew that he didn't need to; he knew that Harry would always fight. He was a fighter – something that Draco had fallen in love with; something Draco _was_ in love with.

"I promise you that I will only stop fighting when the only thing left fighting for is a to way you." Harry said strongly.

"Just don't you ever leave me," Draco said, holding onto Harry as if his answer depended on whether he would fall or not.

"How can I leave you when the way I feel about you is so strong?" Harry asked. "Draco," he hugged him back because Harry knew that talking about things made it better, but hugs made things _feel_ better, "last night, I let my _heart_ make up my mind, I let my _heart_ decide. I said, 'I believe you,' because I _felt_ that you were telling the truth, that your love was real. When I'm with you I _feel_ that I belong there. That's why I'll never leave."

Harry ran his thumb over where it was resting on Draco's shoulder soothingly. "Every time we say goodbye, it's not for forever." He lowered his mouth to Draco's ear and whispered, "It's just for a little while."

Harry kept kissing until he found Draco's lips. They seemed to be making up for the kisses that had not been shared in the past two weeks. They weren't really sure how long it was until they broke apart, all they were absorbed in was the feel of each other mouths, but when they did Draco said quietly, "It's all His fault."

"I know," Harry sighed, holding them close, "I know."

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Snape was the one that broke the silence. Snape was always the one that broke that silence first. Perhaps it was because Dumbledore was infinitely patient, or maybe it was just because Snape was in a hurry. Whatever it was, he tried not to let it get to him.

"Three days Dumbledore," Snape said, "three days."

Dumbledore nodded. He did not look afraid or even slightly concerned. "Be that what it may Severus, I am more apprehensive about the boy more so than I am with myself. The past two weeks have unsettled me."

"He did not return to his dormitory last night, from what I have been told." Snape revealed. Dumbledore nodded and his eyes wandered up above as he thought.

"You will protect him, will you not?" Dumbledore asked.

Snape gave a single, curt nod.

"You see Severus, there was once one person whom our fated rested upon; now there are two."

"Yourself being the second?" Snape asked.

Dumbledore gave a tinkling laugh and Snape sported an irritated frown. "Severus, it is not I. I thought it to be rather evident truthfully. The second crucial person is the Malfoy boy."

Snape's frown was now one of confusion. "Draco?" Snape repeated in question.

"Of course," Dumbledore replied. "He is the source of fortitude yet a great liability."

"Fortitude and liability?" Snape echoed, confused. "Dumbledore, I still do not understand how Draco is of such vital importance."

"Severus, you are aware of the relationship between Harry and Draco, are you not?" Dumbledore began.

"I am," Snape replied, his tone suggesting his impatience.

Dumbledore nodded and continued. "Surely it is clear then? If any harm came to Draco it would undoubtedly affect Harry. In turn this would affect Voldemort's downfall. Severus do you not see? While Harry draws his strength from Draco, because Draco is his one of his main reasons for fighting, Draco is also a danger because if anything, shall we say life-threatening, were to happen to him Harry would lose focus, or cease from his mission. If his thoughts are clouded by anxiety they affect his judgement therefore affecting everything he will do. In short, the fate of Draco Malfoy is the fate of the Wizarding world because our Chosen One only functions now because of him."

Yes, Snape saw now. He saw very clearly indeed. And what he also saw was that in three days the weight on the shoulders of Albus Dumbledore would soon be transferred unto him.

And as always Dumbledore began with, "We have much to discuss."

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"Godric absolute fucking Gryffindor," Ginny cursed, "where the _hell_ have you been?"

"Hey Gin," Harry smiled.

"He's happy," Ginny stated, blinking and frowning, "why are you suddenly happy? Did you go to the hospital wing? Did they give you a potion? Harry where were you? What happened? When did you leave? Who–"

"Ginny," Harry interrupted her and held up his palms signalling for her to take a breath, "Calm down."

"Where have you been?" she repeated.

"It's all good," he said, smiling again.

"Good?" she questioned. "What's all good?"

"Everything," Harry replied.

"I don't understand, Harry." Hermione said, speaking for the first time.

Harry took a deep breath. "Hermione you were right," he said, "well sort of. It was a mistake. The letter that I read, _that_ was the lie. Last night I got an explanation. And before you ask how can I be sure, I just _know_. I knew by feeling. It's complicated, but the main point it…everything is all okay."

It was safe to say that Ginny, Ron and Hermione's heads all hurt from the onslaught of confusion and confuzzling information.

"If you think about it too much you end up confused and not being able to think at all," Harry said, "that's why I stopped thinking things so thoroughly through and just felt what was the right thing."

"Harry," Ginny said, she stepped closer to him, "all I'm going to say is, are you completely sure?"

She didn't want to see him get hurt again. Two weeks of numbness was what that type of pain infiltrated. No, never again. She was serious yet caring in her question.

He took her hand. "Ginny," he said, "I'm sure. I've never been surer. It's real."

Ginny closed her eyes, took a deep breath in and out and then opened then again. "Well then," she said. "I'm really glad for you Harry," a large smile spreading on her face. She pulled him into a surprising hug, to which Harry returned just as enthusiastically.

"Ron? Hermione?" he asked, stepping out of Ginny's embrace to ask the opinion of his other two best friends.

To be honest Hermione wasn't sure. She was the type that stepped on the seeds before they had the chance to shoot out and entangle her again – not incredibly forgiving. She could see that Harry was indeed happy; that was what she wanted.

"Harry I _am_ happy for you," she said.

Harry didn't fail to miss the hesitation in her voice, "But?"

"I suppose you won't know for sure, will you? You can't mind read. However," she quickly added, "if you say it's real, Harry you've always had an intuition that nobody else has ever had, then that is good enough for me."

"I'm with Hermione," Ron chipped in. "Glad you're back mate, gave us a right scare for a while there."

"Yeah, sorry about that." Harry said, flushing a bit.

"Don't be," Ginny shrugged. "Everything good then?"

"Yeah," Harry nodded, "I think this is going to work."

"You _think_?" Ginny raised an eyebrow.

"The hard part isn't over yet," Harry said, "the hard things never are. But that doesn't mean that right now isn't good; right now is as good as it's going to be for a while. It's going to get a lot harder." He sighed and then shrugged, "But then it will be better than ever."

"Harry you're confusing the hell out of us," Ginny rolled her eyes, "and without prying into something that you'll definitely tell me to stick my nose back out of, are you planning for things to get harder?" Ron made an expression of agreement.

"Guys, when the year ends you know what I have to do. I have to leave. That's not going to be easy; being away for that long with no communication for however long that takes; that's going to be very hard." Harry explained.

"No communication _at all_?" Ginny frowned. "But why?"

"Because it's dangerous," Harry said plainly.

"Dangerous?" Hermione questioned. "Oh Harry, how many times do we have to tell you? You're not a danger to anyone." Her eyes were soft.

"It's not just me Hermione. It's both of us. We're dangerous to each other." Harry gave a small, humourless laugh. "Funny how I fall in love with someone as unsafe as I am."

"How are you unsafe?" Ron asked incredulously.

"Ron," Harry sighed, "we've been through six years of school together. Can you honestly say the same things would have happened to you if we hadn't have been friends?"

Ron grinned, "Yeah, fair enough. But how is _she_ unsafe?"

Harry shrugged. "I wouldn't be hiding this is from you guys if it was safe to tell you," Harry said, avoiding the question. His stomach growled. "When's lunch?"

"Lunch?" Ginny laughed.

"Harry lunch was three hours ago," Hermione said.

"Oh," Harry said, flushing. "What time is it?"

"It's almost three thirty…in the _afternoon_." Ron replied.

"Really?" Harry said, his eyes wide, he and Draco had slept in later than he thought. "Sorry, I'm not all there today."

"No," Ginny agreed, "you're still back in the Room of Requirement."

"Ginny! Can you not?" Ron exclaimed.

"She's right," Harry shrugged.

"The both of you!" Hermione and Ron groaned.

Harry grinned, it was good things were back to normal…

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"Oooh he's alive," Pansy said excitedly. Draco just ignored her and kept on walking towards his dorm. "Draco," she called "where are you going."

He pretended he couldn't hear her.

Pansy wasn't oblivious to his mood yet she, like he, ignored it. That's how Pansy and Draco were; they rarely touched on the deep things.

"Why are you so happy all of a sudden, babe?" she asked. Walking into his dorm with him though knowing full well he wanted nothing more than for her to piss off.

"No reason," he said neutrally. "Not that you care though." _That_, though, had bite to it.

Pansy threw her head back and groaned. "Don't start grudging on me," she said, "because we all know how long _you_ keep your grudges for."

"Oh fuck off," he snapped, "for months I was happy and then you tell me that you never thought it would work out in the beginning. When I was at my lowest you essentially spoke to me in the same way my father would. You are asking me not to be mad at you? I'm furious. So fucking deal with it."

"Merlin, I'm sorry. Geez. There's not need to verbally bite off my head." She huffed.

"Do you not get it?" Draco fumed, "You were…a horrible friend. What you did was out of line."

Pansy snorted. "'A horrible friend?'" She rolled her eyes. "When have I ever been a _good_ friend? I am a good friend, though in our context, not in everyone else's. So I'm sorry. Move on. Clearly you have, judging how you're not comatose anymore."

"Why are you like that?" Draco demanded. "Why? Why can't you…oh I don't know! Understand?"

"Draco I'm not going to change, take it or leave it." She said indifferently. "Who else do you have?"

Draco sighed. He realised that Pansy could change but she decided that she wouldn't and Draco just had to except that. She wasn't a good friend. She was troubled and much more, but compassionate wasn't one of her qualities. The qualities that he did crave for in a friend, which seemed to be all the things he found in Harry, he simply wouldn't get and this made him aware of just how much his thinking has changed over the past year.

"Fine," he glared. "Just think before you say something cruel like that again; because I'll put up with your shit but I won't tolerate your insensitivity."

"You can tell that you're dating anyone _but_ a Slytherin," Pansy sneered.

"Really? How can you tell?" Draco asked sarcastically. "Is it because I'm making choices morally?"

She ignored him because really, it was the truth. "I have to admit," she began "I thought you and the tall, skinny one were at it."

Draco's brow furrowed. "Tall, skinny one?" he repeated, unable to picture anyone. "Who?"

"What's her name," Pansy searched around for the name, feeling the air like if she flapped it enough the answer would appear, "she's got long, straight, dark brown hair, very quiet, doesn't say much but is very observant. Ringing any bells? She's always looking at you…? What's– Oh, Daphne's sister!"

Draco blinked. Oh. "Astoria?"

"That's it!" Pansy exclaimed. "The one that's always swearing when she's doing her homework."

Draco's frown returned. "I told her to stop doing that," he muttered.

"Since when do _you_ talk to _her_?"

"She…she lives near me, near the Manor. I assist her with her homework sometimes. We are just friends." Draco explained.

"So why have you never talked about her?" Pansy asked.

Draco shrugged. "You never asked."

Pansy pursed her lips, unimpressed. "Don't start with those bullshit 'you never asked' excuses."

"Well you didn't," Draco argued.

"What's she like?" Pansy questioned. "Like Daphne?"

"Somewhat," Draco nodded, "yet she is different in her own way. She is trustworthy, like Daphne, she has her sister's selective reservation also, though at times she can be rather outgoing. However she is incredibly sharp, more than merely academically. She is very good to talk too, she is a good listener and gives fairly insightful advice."

Pansy raised and eyebrow. "Something you're not telling me Draco?"

Draco shook his head. There were many things he was not telling her, and _wouldn't _tell her. He added, "She likes to paint."

"So?"

Draco shrugged. That had not been what she'd meant; he knew that. He didn't know why he said it, he just did.

"She likes you."

"I know."

"And?"

He could have told her how terrible he felt that he could not like her back because she was a girl, and essentially he was unworthy of her. She was kind and strong and beautiful. She was everything one looked for. If perfection allowed a few flaws Astoria Greengrass was just that – perfect. He just didn't love her in that way. He loved her like a sister, he felt incredibly protective of her. He could have told Pansy that he was really in love with Harry and that he was gay and that his life was in a fucking upheaval. But he didn't.

"And I love someone else," he replied simply "she's a good girl, too good for me."

"Too good for you?" Pansy scoffed, but she was clearly surprised. "Liked her at some point have you Draco?"

"No," Draco said honestly "I just care about her – enough that I want her to have the best; that means better than me."

"There's a 'better than you' is there?" she asked, a little mockingly.

"Yes," Draco answered.

"And let me guess," Pansy laughed, "It's your secret lover-girl who you have clearly made up with."

"Yes it is," he replied, "and yes we have. I fixed it."

"Congratulations."

"Jealous, are you?" Draco teased coldly.

Pansy snorted. "Oh babe you wish," she winked, to which Draco rolled his eyes. "Nah. You know how I get pissy when people prove me wrong."

"Well you were wrong," Draco pointed out.

"Thank you," she said deadpanned, "my life was depending on that eye-opener, thank you so much for uncovering and highlighting it for me, I had no idea."

Draco shrugged. "You are the one that had not faith," he reminded her, "and no hope."

"Hope?" Pansy sniggered "That's a stupid Gryffindor emotion."

"Yes," Draco said, "I used to think that too."

HeH

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

The next night, before she went to bed, Astoria held a piece of paper in her hands on which she had drawn on. She regarded it warily and while it was brilliantly sketched, she put it away in a folder that no one would find and that she had been recently adding to more regularly. She fell asleep wondering why on Earth she had drawn a picture of Harry Potter.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

He didn't have time to tell Draco that he was going to see Dumbledore because he was summoned so suddenly. It had been three days since that night with Draco.

"Harry," Hermione grasped his arm as he left, her eyes shone with worry.

"Hermione, I'll be fine." He said. "I'm just going to see Dumbledore."

"Harry he's asked you to bring your Invisibility Cloak," she said, her tone indicating that she was not at all fazed, "you are _not_ just 'going to see' Dumbledore."

"You know as much as I do!"

"Just be safe," she asked him, "please."

He pulled her into a hug. She held him tightly. Pulling away he turned to Ron, "I'm not saying anything will happen, but Hermione's right. And if there is any chance that we are leaving the school it means that everyone is vulnerable. Find Ginny and just stay together until I get back." He thought for a moment and added, "The Felix Felicis is in a sock in my rucksack."

"Harry —" began Hermione, her eyes huge with fear, thinking that Harry thought that something dangerous would indeed occur tonight.

"Share it between yourselves and Ginny too. Say goodbye to her from me. I'd better go, Dumbledore's waiting —"

"Harry," said Hermione, in that fear filled tone again.

"I'll be fine, I'll be with Dumbledore," said Harry. "I want to know you lot are okay... don't look like at me like that, Hermione, I'll see you later..."

He hurried through the portrait hole towards the Entrance Hall.

Dumbledore was waiting beside the oaken front doors. He turned as Harry came skidding out on to the topmost stone step, panting hard, a searing stitch in his side.

"I would like you to wear your Cloak, please," said Dumbledore, and he waited until Harry had thrown it on before saying, "Very good. Shall we go?

Dumbledore set off at once down the stone steps, his own travelling cloak barely stirring in the still summer air. Harry hurried alongside him under the Invisibility Cloak, still panting and sweating rather a lot. He forgot about that though, when his thoughts turned to Draco. He just wanted to let him know what was going on – in case something happened.

Harry suddenly felt this feeling inside of him, like he had a responsibility. He couldn't do anything dangerous or reckless or stupid because back at home, there was someone waiting for him to return. It made his throat constrict a little, thinking of Draco as family. They were a family. Yes, it was just the two of them, but for now that was enough.

"But what will people think when they see you leaving, Professor?" Harry asked, his mind solely on Snape.

"That I am off into Hogsmeade for a drink," said Dumbledore lightly. "I sometimes offer Rosmerta my custom, or else visit the Hog's Head... or I appear to. It is as good a way as any of disguising one's true destination."

They made their way down the drive in the gathering twilight. The air was full of the smells of warm grass, lake water and wood smoke from Hagrid's cabin. It was difficult to believe that they were heading for anything dangerous or frightening. He knew better.

"Professor," said Harry quietly, as the gates at the bottom of the drive came into view, "will we be Apparating?"

"Yes," said Dumbledore. "You can Apparate now, I believe?" "Yes," said Harry, "but I haven't got a licence."

He felt it best to be honest; what if he spoiled everything by turning up a hundred miles from where he was supposed to go?

"No matter," said Dumbledore, "I can assist you again." He stopped walking. "As long as nobody sees us go... now place your hand upon my arm, Harry," muttered Dumbledore, glancing around. "There is no need to grip too hard, I am merely guiding you. On the count of three — one... two... three..."

Harry turned. At once, there was that horrible sensation that he was being squeezed through a thick rubber tube; he could not draw breath, every part of him was being compressed almost past endurance and then, just when he thought he must suffocate, the invisible bands seemed to burst open, and he was standing in cool darkness, breathing in lungfuls of fresh, salty air.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Not that anybody knew, other than himself, but Draco had just made the most important decision of his life. All those months where he refused to talk to anyone about his situation; all those months where he would refuse to let anyone help him; all those months where he kept everything to himself; all those steps he had taken backwards were now about to be made up for in this one giant step forward.

Make no mistake – he was absolutely shitting himself. He felt sick with every step he took; his stomach churned unpleasantly. He could visualise the adrenaline constricting his veins, forcing his heart to beat faster. He was really, really nervous.

The thought that Dumbledore already knew of his situation, his task, did not even cross his mind. This was mainly because he was so incredibly uneasy. He huffed at himself as he walked the corridors; he was never like this! He was always confident and even when he wasn't he still looked and acted like he was. This was just ridiculous, for two reasons: this was a good thing to do, he shouldn't be worried; he just needed to calm the fuck down, take a few breaths and just–

–This wasn't going to work. He felt like he had ingested an Anxious Ale, and whatever; he simply needed to deal with it as best he could.

Throughout his silent battle he found himself in front of Dumbledore's office door. His hand curled into a fist and he brought it up to knock, hesitated, swallowed, took a deep breath, and rapped on the hard wood.

No response.

He tried again, this time a little louder. His knuckles hurt a bit.

No response.

Should he enter the room?

His thoughts oddly travelled to a memory, around the time he and Harry first began discovering the pleasures of a physical relationship…

"_You would like some Muggle things if you gave them a chance," Harry said. _

"_I'm only agreeing because of where your fingers are," Draco said, trying to keep his voice steady. He was exhausted, they both were, what was Harry playing at – trailing his fingers down _there_? _

"_I know," Harry smirked, "that was my plan."_

"_Harry, I'm tired." Draco protested. _

_Harry ignored him, "Once upon a time there were three bears."_

_Draco's eyebrows knitted together in confusion at Harry's random words. _

"_And one day they left their house to go into the woods," Harry continued. "Then, a curly blonde girl knocked on their door but no one was home, so she let herself in."_

"_That was rather stupid of her," Draco commented. _

"_I would have said rude," Harry replied. _

"_What happened to her?" Draco asked. _

"_She ate their food, sat in their chairs and slept in their beds. When the bears came home she got scared and ran away."_

"_Serves her right," Draco said. _

"_But what if the bears wanted to be friends with her?" Harry asked him._

"_Why would they want to be friends with her?" Draco asked, frowning slightly. "They were bears and she was a human."_

_Harry considered his answer before he replied. "I'm a Gryffindor and you're a Slytherin, do you still want to be friends with me?"_

_Draco gave Harry a look, which they seemed to be handing out to each other quite often. _

"_The moral of the story is," Harry sighed, "don't go into peoples houses if they don't answer the door."_

"_I never would have guessed," Draco said dryly._

"_And if you get yourself into something that seems bad, you can't just run away because you never know if there might be some good there."_

"_Where do you find this bullshit from?" Draco asked, snorting. _

"_It's a muggle fairy tale," Harry answered, slightly defensive. _

"_I am not even going to comment," Draco replied, he rolled his eyes but grinned. _

_Harry's hands were suddenly quiet busy again…_

He entered the room, and because of his nerves he was half convinced that an enormous, ravenous bear would jump out from behind the bookshelves and attack him.

The office was vacant. He wondered why Dumbledore was not in his office, but more importantly, he wondered where he was instead. If he felt nervous before, he really didn't know which anxious emotion he could use to describe how he was feeling presently. The emptiness was loud and uncomfortable and he felt almost scared. The office had a home-like appearance with deep earthy colours; countless books filled the shelves and many ornaments were placed in and on different objects and places in the room.

He wondered what would happen if someone were to find him here – alone in Dumbledore's office without the Headmaster there. He wondered how–

Draco jumped as a loud crack sounded throughout the room. He whipped around and found Harry supporting a weak, old wizard – Dumbledore.

"Draco?" Harry asked in surprise, he was taken off guard seeing his boyfriend standing in the Headmaster's office.

Draco would have responded but Dumbledore's rasp, "Harry." Harry instantly remembered the frail looking Dumbledore, whose arm hung around Harry's neck.

"What happened?" The words left Draco's mouth before he could determine whether or not it was his business.

Dumbledore mumbled something that neither boy could quite catch, so Harry lowered his ear to the Headmaster's mouth so that he could hear the repeated words, "The vile…second shelf…purple…"

"Draco," Harry said urgently, "the vile on the second shelf in the glass cabinet over there. It should be purple."

Draco nodded and hastily went in search for the desired potion. He found it with ease and recognised it immediately. He handed it over to Harry, firstly removing the lid. Harry brought Dumbledore over to his desk chair to set him down in order to give him the potion. Dumbledore opened his mouth and weakly swallowed the contents of the vile, some purple liquid spilling onto his wispy, white beard. He closed his eyes but he was still breathing.

"Harry," Draco said quietly, "why does he need a Healing Potion?"

"That's a Healing Potion?" Harry asked. He hadn't cared what it was when Dumbledore had asked him, he knew that if that was what the Headmaster had asked for it was good enough for him.

Draco nodded but then paused, "Yes. However, that is not just any Healing Potion. It is…Harry, it is one of the strongest ones. Its effects are almost instant. It takes months to brew; its consequences fatal should it be made incorrectly. It should only be consumed in small amounts; he drank all of it Harry."

"Is that bad?" Harry asked, panic flaring up in him once more.

Draco hesitated. "It means that he needed a considerable amount and the only reason for that is that something frighteningly noxious has been inflicted on him. Yes, I would say that that is a bad thing."

Harry knew he wasn't referring to the potion, but to what had caused Dumbledore to need the potion in the first place. Harry wanted to explain to Draco what had taken place but knew he wasn't allowed.

Dumbledore sat up straight. He looked at the clock on the wall.

"I'm afraid Draco that I am unable to relay tonight's events to you," Dumbledore said. (Harry was shocked at how absolutely back-to-normal Dumbledore looked, when mere minutes ago he could barely stand.) Draco was about to argue but held his tongue and gave a curt nod. He understood that some had secrets to keep and he had no right to pry because he understood. "It is more important, I think, to discover what is it you wish to talk to me about."

"Yeah," Harry spoke, "what _are_ you doing here?"

"I," Draco opened his mouth and looking back and forth between Dumbledore and Harry. He aimed his words at the raven-haired boy. "I came to tell him," he said, "I came to explain."

"Oh," Harry said, shocked. He felt something swell up inside of him – pride.

Draco now looked at Dumbledore. "I came to tell you about the Dark Lord's plans in regards to Harry. I'm…I'm a Death Eater; I have the mark on my arm to prove it. At the beginning of the year The Dark Lord assigned me to bring Harry to him," at this point Draco expected Dumbledore to take out his wand and curse, even a look of shock or horror to seize Dumbledore's features, but the old wizard looked at him calmly – he took this as a sign to continue. "He asked me to essentially lead him to his death. I said I would do it; of course I had to agree, however I knew that I would be unable to complete this task. I did terrible things. I told my parents about our relationship but had them believe it was false and I constructed it to gain Harry's trust and approval. My father then sent a letter to me in regards to this mission and Harry read it. He did not know of this task and…and…"

"Draco," Dumbledore said quietly.

"I swear I love him!" Draco exclaimed. Harry jumped at the sudden outburst that was so unlike the calm and collected man that he knew. "I never, for one moment, contemplated handing him over to the Dark Lord, I swear it! I–"

"Draco," Dumbledore said firmly, silencing the Slytherin. "I know."

"_What?_" Both boys spluttered.

"How?"

"Since when?"

"Who told you?"

"Why–"

"Gentlemen," Dumbledore said immediately, "please." His eyes glanced to the clock on the wall.

"How long have you know this?" Draco asked slowly yet urgently; almost angrily – why hadn't he _done_ anything?

"For quiet some time," he said softly.

Draco continued to look at him expectantly, "August?"

Dumbledore sighed. "I'm afraid I was notified earlier than August."

"You knew before I did?" Draco exclaimed. "Who informed you?"

"Your question shall be answered later," Dumbledore replied. He was about to continue however Draco interrupted.

"Sir, if you knew, why did you not say anything?" he struggled to keep the temper out of his voice.

"Draco, at the beginning of the year how would you have felt if I had confronted you? You were not ready. This journey that you have been on, while it has been challenging and seemed near impossible, while it tested you, you have become a stronger person because of it. I may ask you the same question, why now Draco? Why have you chosen this particular moment to ask me for my assistance?"

Draco did not like to be lectured; he never had liked it. The look that Harry gave him however, the look that pleaded with him to co-operate because he had already come this far, forced him to focus on the question that he had been asked.

"I chose now because," Draco replied, "I was ready."

"Because it was the right time," Dumbledore agreed. "You would not have been ready then if I had offered my help and protection."

Draco did not want to admit it, but it was true. He was a different person now, and he realised that he was changing each day; constantly growing and evolving in an advancement that was the new universe he had fallen into; that was Harry.

"Now that you are ready," the Headmaster continued, "I offer my help and protection. Will you accept it, Draco?"

There were a few heartbeats that, in Harry's opinion, felt like a lifetime, however, Draco responded calmly and surely like the strong man that he now was. "Yes," he replied.

Harry stepped closer to him and entwined their hands. He looked up at the taller boy with the upmost adoration. He turned his attention to Dumbledore. "Tell us what we need to do, sir, and we'll do it."

Dumbledore nodded, "Very well." He gestured for them to sit down and as they sat down on the chairs in front of his desk he looked up at the clock, keeping a vigilant eye on the time. "Draco I am afraid I am unable to reveal to you how I gained the knowledge of your task because in your situation what will save you is your ignorance; what you do not know cannot hurt you. I know that you are aware that Harry will leave at the end of the school year on his own task and that you are unable to go with him." Draco nodded and Harry held his hand a bit tighter under the desk.

Dumbledore went on to explain that Draco would be in no danger when he returned to the Manor because Voldemort had not expected him to succeed in handing him Harry in the first place, he was only given the task as punishment for Lucius. Draco was certain that the hatred and anger within him halted his heartbeat.

It had taken a while for Harry to calm him down: "Look at me," Harry whispered sharply, "Draco, look at me." Draco looked at him with a fire in his eyes. He hated Him, hated Him so much. How dare He. "Stop burning," Harry pleaded. He pressed their faces together, lips not touching, only their noses and foreheads. Harry placed his hands on either side of Draco's face, blocking him off from the rest of the world. "I've got you," he breathed, "okay?" Draco nodded and puckered his lips quickly so that their lips touched briefly before they turned back to Dumbledore.

The old wizard told Draco that if he had any vital information he would be allowed to send it to Harry via owl, though only in the upmost secrecy. Reminding him that if he were caught the consequences would be fatal. Draco said that he would be able to do that and Harry had no doubt in his mind that he could. They discussed the finer details and eventually Harry, even though knowing the answer he would receive would be unhelpful, asked the time question: "Sir, I know that I've asked you this before but…how long?"

Dumbledore smiled sadly, "I'm afraid I do not know the answer to that Harry. I know that it is difficult. I know that this is not easy."

Harry leaned and rested his head on Draco's shoulder and Draco turned to place a kiss in his hair. Dumbledore looked at the clock again.

"We'll be able to be together, once all of this is – the war – is over, right sir?" Harry asked.

Dumbledore smiled, "Yes Harry, you will."

Harry closed his eyes for a moment and smiled, imagining that life, imagining that perfect utopia instead of the unjust world he currently lived in.

"Are you prepared to play your part, Draco?" Dumbledore asked.

"I am," Draco replied, sounding sure and strong, an element of protectiveness in his voice.

"Remember Draco, you will always be safe if you make the correct decisions, you are aware that I am unable to tell you who but there are people that will do their best to ensure you stay alive. Though, I cannot stress this enough: this does not mean that you can trust everyone. I do, however, have confidence you are able to perceive who to trust and who not to trust."

"I am," Draco repeated, "and I will."

"Sir," Harry began, "I have a qu–"

There was a loud _bang!_ from below.

Dumbledore froze. His eyes flickered to the Cloak in beside the chair in which Harry sat in. "Harry," Dumbledore said suddenly, "put the Cloak over Draco and yourself and stand in the corner."

"What?" Harry asked, looking a little frantic at the random request. "Why?"

"Harry do as I say," Dumbledore said.

"But–"

Draco didn't let him finish; he put the Cloak over the both of them. Dumbledore gave Draco a look that Harry could only describe as grateful. It suddenly occurred to him that while they had their differences they were untied by a common goal to protect Harry. Draco pulled him into the corner of the room.

"Draco," Dumbledore said quickly, "ensure he stays safe. Draco, disarm me."

"Sir, what–" Harry began but again he was cut off by Draco, but this time the blonde whispered the disarming charm and Dumbledore's wand flew out of his hand, landing on the ground beside his desk. He didn't question for the main reason that Dumbledore had asked Draco to protect Harry directly beforehand.

"You must remember–"

But the boys never got to hear what they needed to remember because suddenly footsteps were thundering up the stairs and a second later Death Eaters entered the room.

A lumpy-looking man with an odd lopsided leer gave a wheezy giggle.

"Dumbledore cornered!" he said, and he turned to a stocky little woman who looked as though she could be his sister and who was grinning eagerly. "Dumbledore wandless, Dumbledore alone!"

"Good evening, Amycus," said Dumbledore calmly, as though welcoming the man to a tea party. "And you've brought Alecto too... charming..."

The woman gave an angry little titter. "Think your little jokes'll help you on your death bed, then?" she jeered.

"Jokes? No, no, these are manners," replied Dumbledore.

"Do it," said the stranger standing nearest to Harry, a big, rangy man with matted grey hair and whiskers, whose black Death Eater's robes looked uncomfortably tight. He had a voice like none that Harry had ever heard: a rasping bark of a voice. Harry could smell a powerful mixture of dirt, sweat and, unmistakably, of blood coming from him. His filthy hands had long yellowish nails.

"Is that you, Fenrir?" asked Dumbledore.

"That's right," rasped the other. "Pleased to see me, Dumbledore?"

"No, I cannot say that I am pleased to see you in my school..."

Fenrir Greyback grinned, showing pointed teeth. Blood trickled down his chin and he licked his lips slowly, obscenely.

"But you know how much I like kids, Dumbledore."

"Am I to take it that you are attacking even without the full moon now? This is most unusual... you have developed a taste for human flesh that cannot be satisfied once a month?"

"That's right," said Greyback. "Shocks you, that, does it, Dumbledore? Frightens you?"

"Well, I cannot pretend it does not disgust me a little," said Dumbledore. "And, yes, I am a bit shocked that you are here, of all people, into the this school where we all live..."

"I wouldn't want to miss a trip to Hogwarts, Dumbledore," rasped Greyback. "Not when there are throats to be ripped out... delicious, delicious..."

And he raised a yellow fingernail and picked at his front teeth, leering at Dumbledore. "I could do you for afters, Dumbledore..."

"No," said the fourth Death Eater sharply. He had a heavy, brutal-looking face. "We've got orders. Snape's got to do it. Now, and quickly. Where is he?"

Draco felt Harry stiffen beneath him, his body suddenly tense. "Don't make a sound," Draco warned him, his voice almost inaudible. However he couldn't be a hypocrite; he didn't know what was happening. How did they get into Hogwarts? More importantly, why were they here? He didn't know of this. He couldn't control it and that was what truly scared him the most.

"He shouldn't be far behind. Dumbledore, Dumbledore, he's not long for this world anyway, if you ask me!" said the lopsided man, to the accompaniment of his sister's wheezing giggles. "Look at him — what's happened to you, then, Dumby?"

"Oh, weaker resistance, slower reflexes, Amycus," said Dumbledore. "Old age, in short... one day, perhaps, it will happen to you... if you are lucky..."

"What's that mean, then, what's that mean?" yelled the Death Eater, suddenly violent.

"Always the same, weren't yeh, Dumby, talking and doing nothing, nothing, I don't even know why the Dark Lord's bothering to kill yeh! Come on, where's Severus?"

But at that moment, there were renewed sounds of scuffling from below and a voice shouted, "They've blocked the stairs - Reducto! REDUCTO!"

Harry's heart leapt from the sudden bang and Draco pressed his palms to either side of Harry's hips to calm him.

"I'll do it," snarled Greyback, moving towards Dumbledore with his hands outstretched, his teeth bared.

"I said no!" shouted the brutal-faced man; there was a flash of light and the werewolf was blasted out of the way; he hit the ramparts and staggered, looking furious. Harry's heart was hammering so hard it seemed impossible that nobody could hear him standing there, imprisoned by Draco's grip — if he could only move, he could aim a curse from under the Cloak — Draco wouldn't let him move. It was for the best but Harry just knew that he needed to do _something_. For the first time it really hit Harry that Dumbledore didn't have a wand. _Dumbledore didn't have a wand! He couldn't–_

"Don't you even think about it," Draco hissed in his ear soundlessly, as if he had read Harry's mind. They were like that, always on the same brain wave. "Don't you leave my arms Harry Potter."

It was _that_ that kept Harry's feet firmly planted to the floor on which he stood.

At that precise moment the door to the ramparts burst open once more and there stood Snape, his wand clutched in his hand as his black eyes swept the scene, from Dumbledore slumped against the wall, to the four Death Eaters, including the enraged werewolf. Bellatrix stood next to him. Draco's nostrils flared, seeing her there, and he suddenly felt one hundred times more protective of Harry.

"Snape," said the lumpy Amycus, whose eyes and wand were fixed alike upon Dumbledore, "he's wandless, he's—"

But somebody else had spoken Snape's name, quite softly. "Severus..."

The sound frightened Harry beyond anything he had experienced all evening. For the first time, Dumbledore was pleading.

"Begging, Dumbledore?" Bellatrix asked with a cackle. Her smile faded and she brought her full, red lips up to Snape's ear and whispered as if to a lover, "Do it."

Snape did not reply, he only continued to stare at the defenseless old wizard.

"Do it Severus," Bellatrix murmured again. Her words resembled provocative licks, like she associated death an erotic act, "Say it. Kill him."

Harry's heart pounded in his chest as he realised. He wanted to move. Why couldn't he? If he didn't move now he would regret it for the rest of his life. Draco on the other hand did not understand and was panicking in his mind: this was not part of the plan.

Bellatrix moved her lips away and her knuckles turned white as she gripped her wand and screeched, "_FINISH IT!_"

Snape said nothing, but walked forwards. The three Death Eaters fell back without a word. Even the werewolf seemed cowed.

Snape gazed for a moment at Dumbledore, and there was revulsion and hatred etched in the harsh lines of his face.

"Severus... please..." Snape raised his wand and pointed it directly at Dumbledore.

"Don't look," Draco breathed but Harry couldn't tear his gaze away.

"_Avada_ _Kedavra!"_

A jet of green light shot from the end of Snape's wand and hit Dumbledore squarely in the chest. Harry's silent scream of horror never left him; quiet and unmoving, he was forced to watch as Dumbledore was blasted into the air; for a split second he seemed to hang suspended beneath the shining skull, and then he fell slowly backwards, like a great rag doll, over the battlements and out of sight.

Draco's mouth dropped open. Reflexively, he ignored his own feelings and silently placed his hand over Harry's mouth, using his other arm to hold onto him. Harry had frozen momentarily in shock; this is what allowed Draco to grasp onto him firmly before he began to struggle.

"Don't you dare move," Draco breathed into Harry's ear. It wasn't cruel, it wasn't said to hurt Harry; it was said to keep them both alive. If Harry moved it gave them both away. Draco could feel Harry's breathing begin to quicken all the while Draco fought to keep them unnoticed under the Cloak.

Harry felt as though he too were hurtling through space; _it had not happened... It could not have happened..._

"Out of here, quickly," said Snape.

Bellatrix skipped merrily out of the office first followed by the other Death Eaters. Snape's eyes trailed through the room before he left hurriedly. Draco held his breath, not daring to make even the slightest sound.

The door shut with a loud bang; the noise snapped Harry out of it. Draco wrapped his arms around him without missing a beat. The Cloak slid off them because of the sudden movement.

Harry began to shake uncontrollably in Draco's embrace. _Dumbledore was gone…_

And that's when the Harry truly felt the sorrow. He clutched onto Draco, holding him tightly as if the ground might fall from underneath him at any given moment. It seemed like that: that his world was a constant stream of all things unpredictable.

His hands scrunched up the material of Draco's robes where his hands held onto the blonde. He buried his face into the crook of Draco's neck.

And Draco held him – made sure he felt secure.

"Fuck," Draco spat quietly. If he was holding Harry too tightly it was only because he wanted to make sure Harry wouldn't slip away, but Harry didn't say anything – couldn't.

"Draco," Harry choked, panting and sobbing at the same time.

"I know," he said, his words fiercely protective, "I've got you, I'm here. I've got you."

"He's g–gone…"

"I know," Draco repeated, "I am so sorry."

Draco could slowly feel Harry losing it completely and he remembered Dumbledore's words: _'Ensure he stays safe.'_ He had to keep Harry in the present. He had to keep him here with him.

"Harry?"

"I can't," Harry sobbed brokenly. He couldn't do it any more. He didn't want it! No more hurt or pain. He had suffered enough for a lifetime. No more.

"Harry?" Draco tried again.

"I c–can't," Harry shook his head in little jerks, face still buried in between Draco's shoulder and neck.

"Harry." Draco put more force into his voice but it only made Harry cry harder.

"No m–more," Harry his shoulders slumped, "I j–just can't anym–more."

Draco's hand snaked up Harry's neck and his fingers wove into Harry's hair. He gripped the dark hair firmly, causing a sharp, lingering pain on Harry, forcing Harry to look at him, pulling him. Harry was grateful for it; grateful for the opportunity, the distraction, to focus on the physical pain instead of the great emotional pain he felt inside of him.

"I need you here with me," Draco told him determinedly, "stay with me. Do not let go yet."

Harry's eyes released tears and his eyes unfocused. They felt heavy in his skull, painful, like the tears were trying to get past them and couldn't quick enough.

Draco tugged, tightening his grip. "Harry," he said sharply, "I need you to focus. I know it hurts. I know. But your head needs to be here. Snape–"

_Snape._

That one word. He had killed Dumbledore, had _betrayed_ him. And Harry could not just stand there and do nothing about it.

A different type of pain coursed through Harry's veins and it made him focus; his thoughts now sharp. He had to get out of this office. He had to make Snape pay. Something boiled inside of his and Harry could only classify it as pure hatred.

Draco felt the change immediately. He suddenly went from holding Harry loosely to feeling the force of the strength of the person in his arms change, and he gripped Harry tightly.

"Stop," Harry struggled, "I have to– Snape! He– Draco I need to go and–"

"No," Draco said securely.

"You don't understand! I _have_ to–"

"Harry," Draco whispered. His voice was soft like velvet and sweet like sugar. It was like a warm blanket that was wrapped around Harry's shoulders on a cold winter's night. It made Harry pause. That was the intention. "Harry."

"Please let me go," Harry whimpered.

"I will," Draco nodded, "but not yet."

"Draco–"

"Five minutes," Draco cut across, "five minutes. I need five minutes with you. You cannot go anywhere in the state you are in."

"I'm fine," Harry tried to protest, "I'm–"

"You are not," Draco said in a hard voice, "don't lie. You are not fine. You are anything but fine."

"No but–"

"Just let me _hold_ you."

He could not argue with that. Harry's rigid frame melted into Draco's embrace. He couldn't fight it anymore: fight the need to be enclosed in the safety of loving arms – of strong protective arms. He closed his eyes. It hurt; it hurt really, really badly. Harry pressed his mouth into Draco's shoulder so that it would at least muffle his cries. Dumbledore had left…had left Harry by himself.

The hand that Draco had in Harry's hair relaxed. Draco caressed him, stroking his dark hair gently. His other hand rubbed small circles down Harry's back until it came to rest on the base of his spine, where Draco just placed his hand securely there; holding Harry close.

Draco was afraid of what would happen now. He was afraid because everything that had been agreed on could now be invalid. Why? Why did this always happen? He seemed to be asking himself that question all the time lately and he was fed up with it.

He inhaled deeply, breathing in Harry's scent. The feel of Harry under his palms made him realise that soon he would not be touching Harry for a very long time.

"I'm sorry," Draco whispered.

"Did you know?" Harry whispered. "Did you know that Snape would…" he couldn't say it.

"No," Draco said immediately, "no, I had no idea. I don't know why or how. I don't understand Harry; this was not supposed to happen. Dumbledore was never meant to die. They were never meant to come here." Draco tried to be as gentle as he could with his words. "But you already know that."

"I know," Harry agreed, "I just had to make sure."

"I don't want you down there when your mind isn't in the right place," Draco told him. "I'm scared you will do something stupid. Or that you will…" he finish that sentence because it was a very real possibility.

"I'm not asking for your permission," Harry said, it wasn't unkind – it was the truth. "I don't have a choice; I need to fight."

"Do you recall telling me that everyone has a choice? That applies for you as well, Chosen One." Draco told him. He stopped and sighed, rubbing his hand in circles on Harry's back once again, "When did I become so afraid?"

"When you let yourself love things that you could lose."

Harry was right. And he didn't regret it.

Harry looked up with large watery eyes, "This is it, isn't it?"

Draco's mouth formed a tight line and he fought to stay strong.

"Don't lie," Harry added.

Draco looked down: he closed his eyes, took a breath and looked back up at Harry.

"This is the last time it will be like this for a while, isn't it? When we go down there it all becomes real: I'm on one side; you're on the other. I wish…I just wish that…we were on the train to Italy again, or that first night in the dungeons, or the Shrieking Shack…" Draco kissed his hair. "I'm scared I'm going to fail."

"You will not fail." Draco said strongly.

"How do you know that?"

"Because I do," he said, "you just can't." He paused. "What else are you frightened of?"

"I'm scared I'll do something wrong," Harry admitted, "or that I won't do enough. How am I supposed to do this, bring him down? I'm…I'm only Harry."

"Oh but you are not," Draco whispered, kissing his jaw, "you are so much more than 'just'. There is no need to be scared Harry; you are so clever. You are a survivor. You are a fighter; it is in your blood."

Harry's eyes filled with tears again.

"Look at me," Draco asked in a caring voice, "why are you so sad, sweetheart?"

That made Harry cry for real.

"I don't want you to go," Harry sobbed.

"I will be with you always, I will not let anyone hurt you. We will get through this. We've both seen the dark side and we've both gotten through it. I will not love you any less by the time we meet again. I hate it Harry, I hate how everything seems to pull me away from you. I feel like…I feel as helpless as a tree, unable to do anything, and you are just the air that passes through me and while it makes me come alive, makes my branches and leaves dance, I cannot catch you. I am going insane, Harry, thinking of being without you."

"Why can't we just be like other two people who are in love?" Harry asked, his tears making Draco's neck wet. He attempted to wipe them away but Draco just took his hands and wrapped them around his own waist.

"We are just different," Draco told him, "and that is what makes us better."

"I'll think of you everyday," Harry sniffed softly, feeling the time to leave was near, "don't think that I won't. Remember what I said? I said, I'll give it all but I promise you, I will not give up."

"I– fucking hell I…I love you. With everything that I have. I love you. I want to be with you. After all of this is over we'll fix it. I swear I'll do it – I'll fix it. I–"

"But Draco," Harry smiled through his tears, "you've already fixed me."

Draco ran his hands through Harry's hair, inhaled his scent, memorised the feel of him in his arms, because it was almost over. He wanted to map Harry out one more time, trace the planes of his body, shoot lightening the core of their entwinement – but the sand hand run out of the hourglass.

"Promise me the same thing I promised you," Harry said to him. "Promise me that you will never give up. That no matter how hard or impossible you will keep going. Promise me you won't do something stupid like…like hurt yourself. Because if you do, so fucking help me I will–"

Draco pressed his lips to Harry's, effectively cutting him off. He kissed him; he kissed him hard. There was no holding back. It was everything passion and love should be. There was fight and there were tongues. They tilted their heads to deepen the kiss, allowing their tongues to lick inside each other's mouths. They nipped and brushed lips, causing them to become red and raw ad swollen. Their teeth clashed in their attempts to gain more closeness and contact. And then, behind all severity and force, there was that bursting heat that radiated out of them and shone brightly. It was the last kiss.

"I promise you."

"And don't you ever break it," Harry warned him. There was a scream from below.

"We need to go," Draco said.

"Come back to me," Harry said with searching eyes.

"I promise," Draco said again. He brought his hand up to cup Harry's cheek, looking at him lovingly. "You need to go and save the world."

"I love you."

"I love you."

And with that they ran out of the office, wands at the ready. They ran down corridors, searching for–

"_Harry_!" Hermione shrieked, pointing to something behind Harry. Harry whipped around to find Fenrir Greyback looking hungrily at him.

"Petrificus Totalus!"

Harry felt Fenrir collapse against him; with a stupendous effort he pushed the werewolf off and onto the floor as a jet of green light came flying toward him; he ducked and ran, headfirst, into the fight. His feet met something squashy and slippery on the floor and he stumbled: There were two bodies lying there, lying facedown in a pool of blood, but there was no time to investigate. Harry now saw red hair flying like flames in front of him: Ginny was locked in combat with the lumpy Death Eater, Amycus, who was throwing hex after hex at her while she dodged them: Amycus was giggling, enjoying the sport: "Crucio - Crucio - you can't dance forever, pretty-"

_No!_ Harry thought. _Not Ginny!_

"Impedimenta!" yelled Harry.

His jinx hit Amycus in the chest: He gave a piglike squeal of pain, was lifted off his feet and slammed into the opposite wall, slid down it, and fell out of sight behind Ron, Professor McGonagall, and Lupin, each of whom was battling a separate Death Eater. Beyond them, Harry saw Tonks fighting an enormous blond wizard who was sending curses flying in all directions, so that they ricocheted off the walls around them, cracking stone, shattering the nearest window —

"Harry!" Ginny cried, but there was no time to answer her. He put his head down and sprinted forward, narrowly avoiding a blast that erupted over his head, showering them all in bits of wall. Snape must not escape; he must catch up with Snape —

"Take that!" shouted Professor McGonagall, and Harry glimpsed the female Death Eater, Alecto, sprinting away down the corridor with her arms over her head, her brother right behind her. He launched himself after them but his foot caught on something, and next moment he was lying across someone's legs. Looking around, he saw Neville's pale, round face flat against the floor.

"Neville, are you -?"

"M'all right," muttered Neville, who was clutching his stomach, "Harry... Snape 'n' Malfoy... ran past..."

Harry needed Draco with Snape, he knew it sounded absurd but he needed Draco to play his part; it was the only way Draco would be safe.

"I know, I'm on it!" said Harry, aiming a hex from the floor at the enormous blond Death Eater who was causing most of the chaos. The man gave a howl of pain as the spell hit him in the face: He wheeled around, staggered, and then pounded away after the brother and sister. Harry scrambled up from the floor and began to sprint along the corridor, ignoring the bangs issuing from behind him, the yells of the others to come back, and the mute call of the figures on the ground whose fate he did not yet know...

How had the Death Eaters come into the Castle? He had thought it impossible.

He skidded around another corner and a curse flew past him; he dived behind a suit of armor that exploded. He saw the brother and sister running down the marble staircase ahead and aimed jinxes at them, but merely hit several bewigged witches in a portrait on the landing, who ran screeching into neighboring paintings. As he leapt the wreckage of armor, Harry heard more shouts and screams; other people within the castle seemed to have awoken...

He pelted toward a shortcut, hoping to overtake the brother and sister. Remembering to leap the vanishing step halfway down the concealed staircase, he burst through a tapestry at the bottom and out into a corridor where a number of bewildered and pajama-clad Hufflepuffs stood.

"Harry! We heard a noise, and someone said something about the Dark Mark —" began Ernie Macmillan.

"Out of the way!" yelled Harry, knocking two boys aside as he sprinted toward the landing and down the remainder of the marble staircase. The oak front doors had been blasted open, there were smears of blood on the flagstones, and several terrified students stood huddled against the walls, one or two still cowering with their arms over their faces. The giant Gryffindor hourglass had been hit by a curse, and the rubies within were still falling, with a loud rattle, onto the flagstones below.

Harry flew across the entrance hall and out into the dark grounds: He could just make out three figures racing across the lawn, heading for the gates beyond which they could Disapparate — by the looks of them, the huge blond Death Eater and, some way ahead of him, Snape and Draco...

The cold night air ripped at Harry's lungs as he tore after them; he saw a flash of light in the distance that momentarily silhouetted his quarry. He did not know what it was but continued to run, not yet near enough to get a good aim with a curse —

"Draco!"

Harry stopped dead. It wasn't his voice that had called out that name but that belonging to a woman.

Harry and Draco's eyes met, looking at each other from a distance.

"Draco, Apparate!" Bellatrix yelled at her nephew.

"No," Draco said, "I am staying to fight."

Bellatrix's nostrils flared. "The Dark Lord has–"

"–Failed to alert me to tonight's events," Draco cut across. "I stay." He would not leave this castle yet.

If it had been Bellatrix's wand that was poked into the underside of Draco's jaw Harry would not have been worried because he was almost certain that Bellatrix would not harm her nephew, however it was not her wand – It was Snape's.

And Harry faltered for a moment.

"You will do as she says," Snape said in a low and dangerous tone.

"I do not take orders from _you_," Draco spat. He did not trust him and after tonight's display he decided that he never would.

Snape pushed the wand in harder and Draco fought a wince of pain. "No," Snape said, "You take orders from the Dark Lord, don't you Draco?"

Draco did not respond and clearly Snape wanted a reply. Suddenly Draco felt a sharp slap against his face and he winced, it stung. Bellatrix looked at him, her cheeks an ugly blotchy red and her eyes slits. "Answer," she hissed.

Harry could not stop the words.

"DON'T TOUCH HIM!" Harry screamed.

Snape, Bellatrix and Draco looked over at a now not-so-far-away Harry Potter. Snape lowered his wand. Draco looked at Harry with fearful eyes. Bellatrix threw her head back and let out a metallic laugh that Harry had heard before. Goosebumps arose on the back of his neck.

"Bellatrix, take Draco to the Manor." Snape ordered.

Bellatrix ignored him; she had not had her fun just yet. "You think he loves you, do you Potter?"

The blood drained from Harry's face and Bellatrix merely laughed. She missed, however, the identical look on Draco's face. The boys both thinking the same question: _How did she know?_

"Wondering how I know, are you Potter? Thought it was your little secret? Thought Draco loved you? Do you love him too, Harry? Did you think it was _special_?" She teased him. "Did you really believe it was all real when he kissed you and touched you–"

"STOP IT!" Harry shouted. He did not want her to get the better of him but he couldn't help it, he couldn't help it because that was so _private_ – not to be used as ammunition.

This only made her laugh even more widely. "Poor baby Potter," she ridiculed, "I killed your Sirius, now your Dumbledore is gone too and I want to be the one to break you for good now, Potter."

"Leave _now_," Snape hissed.

"Oh but Potter, Draco never ever loved you. The Dark Lord asked Draco to bring you to him. It's all _lies_ sweetheart. All little _lies_. Is your baby heart breaking?" Bellatrix turned to Draco. "Tell him, tell him Draco; tell him that you never loved him. Say it. Let him hear it from his _boyfriend_–"

Harry took aim at Bellatrix, and yelled, "Cruc—"

Bellatrix flicked the curse away with a flick of her wand. "Take him away!" Snape shouted at the dark haired woman.

"N–"

Draco didn't have time to protest or escape as Bellatrix grabbed his arm and Apparated. Draco disappeared before his eyes.

He looked at Snape and before raising his wand to aim a curse he wondered how much sadness and anger at seventeen year old boy's heart could hold.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Draco Apparated with a crack into the room. It was early morning but still dark outside; the sun would not rise for a long time. He took in the unfamiliar surroundings of Harry's bedroom.

Harry sat motionless on his bed. He had been the one who had, dangerously, contacted Draco. He had been the one to tell him that he had something so urgent to say that they _had_ to meet.

Draco walked over and sat on the end of Harry's bed. Why could this not work? Why could they not live here together for the next week? It was impossible, but he couldn't help but think about it.

"Are you okay?" Draco had to make sure Harry was all right before anything else was said.

Harry gave a curt nod. "I'm safe," he assured the blonde.

Draco nodded. "What is that you need to tell me?"

Harry waited a while, he took his time to look at the beautiful Slytherin, take him all in.

"Draco…listen," Harry said quietly, "I can't be involved with you anymore. We've got to stop seeing each other. We can't be together."

Draco didn't say anything. He just looked at Harry.

"We can't…I can't…I've got to finish what Dumbledore started – I've got to do it alone." Harry tried his hardest to make it convincing. "You said it yourself, if Voldemort found out about us he would use us against each other: as bait. Think about how dangerous it will be if we kept this up. He'll know, Draco. He'll find out. We're good, we've always been good; but we're not that good. He'll try to get me through you and I can't have that."

"And what if I don't care?"

"You don't have to, I care enough for the both of us, but I had hoped you would, only because it would make this easier if you understood. How do you think I would feel looking over your gravestone? Knowing that it was my fault? Don't do that to me. Don't even make that an option. I've lost almost everyone; don't make me lose you too."

"I knew this would happen, and although I came here tonight, I came here hoping that it would not."

That only made it that much harder for Harry to say what he had to say next. "About what we agreed on…Draco, it's not going to work."

"I don't understand." Draco said slowly.

"Dumbledore's dead, Draco. Everything has changed." Harry explained.

"What are you saying?" Draco asked carefully.

"I'm…I'm saying that…this is more than what we decided." His hesitancy's tone had taken on a frightfully curt and almost business like attribute.

"Harry, what are you saying?" Draco repeated.

"We agreed to keep away from each other until I did what I needed to do. But–"

"But what?" Draco cut across, becoming more uneasy the more Harry spoke.

"We need to stop, Draco…completely."

"You mean…"

"I mean that we need to end things. For real. We can't just say that we'll not see each other or that we'll put things on hold for now, because we both know that when everything is over we'll be back together again. We can't think like that because if that's how we're thinking we might as well still be together."

The thing Harry knew about Draco was that doubt was the most poisonous venom that could enter Draco's system. Harry knew Draco was insecure, so the tiniest doubt would set off his anxiety. And fear clouded his thoughts and judgment more than a physical blindfold would obscure vision. It was nasty, it was cruel, it was hurtful; it was what Harry had to do to keep him safe.

Harry planted the seed and let it grow; let the roots develop and tangle hesitation around his mind; let the falseness spout; let the thorns give him a sharp realisation to his words; let the buds' perfume intoxicate him so that clarity and rationality were gone from his mind.

"Are you…" Draco swallowed thickly, "are you breaking up with me?"

Harry didn't answer.

"But we are not really breaking, are we?" Draco asked, sure that Harry was just being his noble, Gryffindor self. "It is just for now – for the war. And when it is over everything will be fine, back to normal. Harry?"

"I'm not sure."

"What is there to be unsure about?"

"Draco, I can't have you in my life."

Draco heard the words but he didn't _hear_ them. His mind had switched onto an autopilot as a defence mechanism to the words that left Harry's lips, to the words that just couldn't be said.

"But you will," Draco insisted. "You will after everything is over. This is just only for a little while. You will, Harry. We will."

Harry shook his head, it was small but unmistakable. "Please don't make this harder than it needs to be."

"There is nothing hard about it – it is simple. Harry, I know what you are trying to do. You don't have to do this to try to make me believe that you do not want me anymore so that it will be authentic." And while Draco may have said things that sounded sure, he had never been more unsure about the statements of his life than right then.

"Draco," Harry stopped him, "stop."

"Harry, you don't have to–"

"Please go."

_Silence._

_Reality seeping into his mind like cyanide in his veins. _

_He stopped, enough to really hear what Harry said. Enough to know…_

"…What?"

"Please leave," Harry told him, "and don't come back."

"You're breaking up with me?"

"Yes."

Draco Apparated. And strangely enough, the sound of the crack replaced Dumbledore's death in Harry's nightmares.

- O -

_I cannot forget the look on your face as you left tonight. That look that told me exactly what I had done to you. I swear it isn't true. It hurts how easily you believe me. It hurts how easily I can make you hurt with lies. It was my turn to lie. While I want you to believe them I secretly need for you to see through them. _

_You mean the world to me. Every time I'm unsure I look to you for the answer. Now, I am in a desperate search, a long journey, for answers and yet you are gone. How does that make sense? How does anything make sense anymore when we knew one simple truth – we loved each other no matter what – and yet you left so easily. Did I not do enough to make you know that if those words ever left my lips they would be a lie? _

_When I said goodbye there were tears in your eyes and I prayed so hard that you would not cry; liquid proof, a leakage, from the heart that I stabbed. I am sorry. Do not give in; do not come back to me. I need for you to stay away because I love you. Do not come back. Thinking that I am not returning will kill you, but coming back to me will truly be your end. You cannot end because we have yet to create our beginning. _

_I say that you left me, though the truth is that I left you, I was the one who let go of you. You need to know that my heart is broken also. I may not be there when you wake up; I may not be there to brush a stray hair behind your ear; I may not get to see your smile; I may not be able to tell you how much you are worth; I may not whisper my love for you in your ear each day; but even if I am not there, I will not give up on you. On us. On our love. I swear I will not give into the things, the laws, the injustices, the people, the wars and the powers that throw their obstacles at us. _

_I once thought, how can I leave you when I love you so much? I once thought that I knew you and knew you belonged with me. I once said, I let my heart make the decision for me. I once said, I will never say goodbye to you; never let you go. All these things remain true, as my heart remains true to you, as it always will. _

_Goodbye, for now. Farewell my love. I am leaving for a while. Giving you a time is insignificant because time now measures differently: Time measures differently when I am not with you. I promise I will be back. I will come back to you. I don't know where I will be, but I'll count the distance, count the miles. I will not need to discover how far away you are because somehow I will be able to tell. My soul, the fire in my bones, it will tell me the distance between us. My heart tells me the same thing; it tells me you are right next to me. It does not lie; our hearts are unable to be separated – even by distance. I love you. _

_If I do not come back you will know. The birds will not sing joyous melodies; fires will melt; the wind will no longer whisper; light's glint will be absent of the rainbow. You will know if you have lost me. I beg that you do not lose yourself also. I will think of you every step of the way: every step that takes me closer to the finish; every step that takes me five back; every step that hurts; every step that makes me wonder if I can take another. You are my reason to be and every breath I take each day will remind me to fight for you – to fight for the moment I get to hold you close to me again. _

_I cry alone and lie about my tears. I cry for you. I wish you could stay a while. I wish you could come back. I wish I could love you as freely and openly as the birds soar through the skies above us. I am a bird. I will fly back to you. You are my love on this Earth, and love you I will. _

**Thank you for reading, reviews are always appreciated :)**

**Alli xxxxx**

**P.S If you're interested (in Larry Stylinson/Lourry), please read this. You will need a bucket for your creys because of all the feels. After reading this I was legit like: "I *sob* can't *sob* even *sob*!"**

** . /post/16867200652/52-birthdays-with-lou**


	19. The End of Something Endless

**I apologise for the wait, but here it is I am currently working on the last chapter and then I'll be starting the Epilogue, which will be short, so yeah.**

**This chapter is set throughout the whole of Deathly Hallows; different scenes signify a change of time (this could be minutes, hours, days, weeks or months), place (setting, country, ect.) or POV (but still in the 3****rd**** person). Hope it is easy to read and you enjoy **

**Chapter 19**

**THE END OF SOMETHING ENDLESS**

"Dinner, Nagini," Voldemort said softly, and the great snake swayed and slithered from his shoulders onto the polished wood. Draco hastily picked himself up from the floor on which he had fallen, sitting on the wooden chair. He averted his eyes downward, unable to bear the sight of the serpent scything into Charity Burbage.

He was afraid of emitting an aura that displayed his fear, he was afraid of appearing weak and scared, he was afraid that he would be next. But he was mainly just that – _afraid_.

His fingers trembled on his lap and he wished for nothing more than to escape to the four walls of his room where he could lie to himself, say that he was safe. However he knew that just because he could not see the danger did not mean that it was not there.

Why did he even think he could do this? He felt like an athlete competing in a marathon; he had nothing left, no more fuel to run on, yet he pushed on. He forced himself.

Because he _had_ to.

And this is what kept Draco Malfoy alive.

Cautiously, he looked up. Quickly at first, in order to skip over the gory scene in front of him, and then searched for something on a higher level to concentrate on. He met his mother's eyes. Her gaze like a phantom limb that supported him, and he wondered how.

Ever since the raid at Hogwarts his mother had acted very differently towards him, still, silent, yet her eyes held him close. She always made sure that she could see him. It confused him at first but then he remembered a time, which felt like so long ago, in May of last year…

_..."Harry," Draco sighed, "can we please not discuss my parents?"_

"_It's just," Harry said, "I don't have any so…"_

_Draco instantly felt bad; of course Harry would want to know about parents. "Mine are nothing like yours would have been," Draco told him. _

"_No I know," Harry said quickly. "But it's also that I want to know what your home is like." Harry didn't add anything else to that sentence, which Draco was grateful for. _

"_It's shit."_

"_Stop being difficult."_

"_Stop being a nosy bastard."_

_Harry fixed him with a look and Draco relented. "What are you looking for Harry? That I have loving and caring parents that have always had my best interest and heart? Well I don't. My father is cruel and cold and heartless and does not care about my mother or I. My mother is insecure and is blind to everything going on around her, she's small, and I mean that figuratively."_

"_You sound upset with her," Harry observed. _

"_I am more upset with my father than her," Draco told him. _

"_No, I don't think you are." Harry said, cocking his head to the side, deep in thought. _

_Draco raised an eyebrow at him, "My father has done horrible things."_

"_I don't doubt it," Harry agreed, "but your mother failed to protect you from them." _

Draco blinked, momentarily stunned by the simple yet completely truthful statement. He had never seen it like that before. Harry continued, "I think that you're more upset– no, upset is the wrong word. Disappointed…angry…resentful, are better. I think that your father has hurt you but you're a strong person, and while that has left its mark you're able to heal somewhat. But what your mother did, or more what she failed to do, you can't move on from that vacancy. I think its eating you alive and if, one day, you don't settle that with her you're going to be carrying that forever. But the thing is," Harry took a deep, well deserved breath, "please just hear me out – I don't think I can blame her. She's oppressed. Oh don't look at me like that, she is. She lives in fear. More fear than you do and that's a lot of fear. It would affect anyone. She lives under a dictatorship that is not only Voldemort but also your father. I think she cares about you deeply, Draco. You're her son and I think she loves you very much. But I think that she finds it hard to protect you because she has no voice or self-confidence. She doesn't strike me as an assertive woman. Like you said, she's small and insecure. I think that she would give anything to be able to protect you in the way you need to be protected but she just doesn't know how. She's not strong like you are. Does that sort of…make sense?"

_Draco's eyes had gradually grown wider and wider throughout Harry's analysis, eyebrows travelling up his forehead. He nodded slowly. "Yes," he whispered, shocked, "yes it does."_

Draco held her eyes and counted his breaths. He held her eyes for the entire time they were all gathered in that room. It stopped him from violently shaking because he felt naked in an empty space, appearing vulnerable, and scared. Afterwards, they all left the dinning room. Draco and Narcissa did not share acknowledging nods or quiet words of gratefulness; their relationship was not like that. But Draco knew that his mother knew that he was thankful and Narcissa knew that she had done the right thing; she had been there for her son for the very first time. She knew that it was something blatantly overdue because of the warm feeling that reminded her Draco was her own flesh and blood.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry finished sorting through his school trunk. This was the first time he had fully scoured through it since he had started at Hogwarts, all those years ago. He was not taking many things, only those that were absolutely necessarily. Draco's pocket watch was absolutely necessary. He hung it around his neck. The metal felt cold against his chest but then it adapted to his body temperature.

He closed his eyes. He savoured the last taste of safety and warmth and a full stomach. It was time to go.

It was time.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

It was too late.

It was too late to warm him, to alert Harry about the danger he was about to fly into. Voldemort and the Death Eaters had already left to intercept him. His father had gone also, leaving Draco and his mother alone in the mansion. They sat together quietly in front of an unlit fireplace. He looked away from his mother, squeezing his eyes tightly shut and praying that Harry would be okay.

Of course he would be okay; Harry was the Chosen One. He was the most adept at defending himself. He had others to protect him as well. He prayed Harry would keep focus, but he knew the horrible truth; if a death occurred Harry would blame himself and that would affect his judgment, it would narrow his vision, and it would make him vulnerable.

He just felt so angry and scared and _helpless_. He predicted the tears that filled his eyes and he hurriedly stood up to leave so that his mother did not see.

"Draco?" she called to him.

He did not answer her and instead tore out of the room. He ran up the flights of stairs, tears streaming down his face, rushed into his bedroom, slammed the door shut and fell onto his bed, crying. He buried his face into the grey pillow and screamed, knowing that this was a rare time where he could do this, as no one was at the Manor.

He seriously contemplated muttering the sharp words that would cut his skin when he waved his wand over his wrist. He could not do that though, he had promised Harry he would never again. Instead, he went over to his desk and opened up the blank book. He wrote the date in a neat script on the parchment.

_Dear Harry,_

He stopped. That was dangerous. Stupidly dangerous. He ripped the page out, careful not to damage the binding of the book.

"_Incendio!_" he muttered, and the scrunched up page lit up in flames, burning and falling to the ground as ashes.

Instead, he did what he knew Harry would have wanted – he wrote.

_Invisible though deadly, the clutches of paralysis. I lay here, powerless to being pulled under, immobile…_

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Mad-Eye, gone. George, injured. Hedwig, dead. All his friends, essentially family, endangered because of him. The guilt weighed down on him, as heavy as mountains, he was unable to shake it. He felt terrible. No one understood. No one understood how he _couldn't _stay here. Everyone kept acting like he had a choice, but he didn't, he just couldn't stay here and put their lives at risk.

He started to walk outside. "Harry," Mrs. Weasley called out, "Where are you going?"

"Outside," he said without looking back, "I need some air."

The night air was warm and Harry would have preferred an icy breeze to hit his face, to numb him. He was angry and frustrated and his scar _hurt_. He waited for the vision through Voldemort's eyes to consume and take control of him. Suddenly, with a jolt of fear, he wondered what would happen if he saw Draco being hurt through Voldemort's eyes – _by_ Voldemort himself. Did he want to see that? He couldn't. If he did he would take off instantly to save him and that simply couldn't happen; he would endanger them both, not to mention everyone back at the Burrow. But…if Draco _were_ being hurt…wouldn't he want to be notified?

"Harry," a voice said quietly behind him. Harry whipped around. Hermione stood there, looking concerned. She did not ask him if he was okay, because she knew that he wasn't. She also knew that he was contemplating leaving. "Don't even think about it Harry," she said seriously.

Her words sparked something within him.

"_Don't you even think about it," Draco hissed in his ear soundlessly, as if he had read Harry's mind. They were like that, always on the same brain wave. "Don't you dare leave my arms Harry Potter."_

His lips pinched together and he felt the corners of his eyes prickling with hot tears. He looked away.

"Look at me Harry Potter," she said firmly, "don't you dare."

"_Don't you dare move," Draco breathed into Harry's ear. It wasn't cruel, it wasn't said to hurt Harry; it was said to keep them both alive. If Harry moved it would give them both away. Draco could feel Harry's breathing begin to quicken all the while Draco fought to keep them unnoticed under the cloak. _

"You need to help me with Occlumency," Harry said to her, desperately. "You need to help me keep him out."

Her face softened and she stepped in to hug him. "Okay," she nodded, "we'll keep him out. We'll keep him out, Harry."

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Draco observed the dark, chocolate coloured owl that was perched on his windowsill. He frowned at the odd, squeaky sound he was making. Draco walked over to the bird and hesitantly trailed his fingers lightly over the bird's dark brown feathers.

"What is it Syren?" Draco asked quietly.

The owl seemed to melt into the touch and they were both there for a while, simply being. Syren turned his head, Draco looked into his big dark eyes and then blinked. They looked exactly how his looked recently, in everything other than appearance. They were sad, lost, lonely.

"Why don't you go and find Hedwig," Draco suggested.

The low hum that Syren had been making peaked shrilly.

And Draco understood.

"Oh."

Hedwig wasn't here anymore.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry snuck out of his room, making sure to be quiet as not to wake Ron. He crept downstairs surprised to find the fireplace already occupied. It was the day before Bill and Fleur's wedding and the weather had begun to take a cooler turn.

"Can't sleep either?" Ginny asked as she scooted a bit to the left to make room for Harry in front of the warm fire.

"Haven't slept in a while," Harry said.

"I wouldn't be able to sleep if I was you either," Ginny said, "with being the Chosen One and the world going to shits."

Harry snorted. "Couldn't have put it better myself," he nodded. He put his head back and sighed.

"I don't even know," Ginny sighed, "like, what the fuck?"

This time Harry laughed and he wondered whether it was appropriate, with everything that had happened and what had not, but he found himself not caring because it felt good. Ginny smiled, happy to have achieved amusing him.

"Yeah, I know." Harry agreed.

"I'm worried about you," she told him.

"I'm worried about me too Gin," Harry confessed. "I'm worried that I'm leading Hermione and your brother to their deaths, I'm worried that I'm going to die…or worse, fail. But most of all I'm worried about…"

…_Draco._

"Her," Ginny finished for him, "I know."

"Yeah I am," Harry agreed. "So fucking much. Every minute I just worry and– _fuck_."

Ginny took his hand and lead him a few steps over to the couch where she laid down and pulled him next to her, "Better?"

"Yes," Harry nodded, letting out a breath that was filled with stress, "thank you." Ginny nodded in acknowledgment. "You're the first person to bring her up," he noted.

"Hermione and Ron weren't to sure how to approach it," she admitted and Harry gave a quiet smile. "But I know you need to talk about it."

"I do," Harry agreed.

"Is she safe?" Ginny asked.

"No one's safe anymore," Harry sighed at the fact, "but I suppose telling her that we couldn't be together made things safer for her. The hard part was that she believed me. The look on her face was just…the whole world fell down and crumbled before her eyes and…it was because of me. I hurt everyone around me and I hate it."

Ginny frowned. "You do not hurt everyone around you Harry," she told him.

"It's not up for debate," Harry sighed. He knew he did and he was over people telling him that he didn't. It was a fact.

"Well when you say bullshit like that expect to get one," Ginny said evenly. "Look Harry, I know you're leaving soon. You need to know that you can't go and face whatever it is that you're going to face thinking that you hurt everyone around you. You don't. People are after you – accept it. Those who love you will stay and fight with you and that's a choice they are willing to make. You can't control other people's decisions Harry, how many times do I have to tell you that?"

"Why does all this happen?" A silent 'to me' on the end.

"Because you're a good person who would– who _will_ fight until the world is safe. That's something to be proud of Harry and we love you for it. We love you for who you are and nothing will change that." She told him, her voice strong with her own belief and faith in him.

_What if I was gay,_ Harry thought to himself, _would you all still love me then?_

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"When the time arrives you _will_ be returning to Hogwarts," Lucius told Draco.

"Yes father," Draco replied, secretly counting his lucky stars. Relief washed over him like a new tide.

"Also, take this," his father handed him what Draco thought to be papers wrapped in a type of folder, "to Randal Greengrass. Do not, under any circumstances, look at these papers. Make no mistake Draco, I shall know. Is that clear?"

"Yes father," Draco nodded. With that he left the Manor, and gladly. The weather was starting to cool; it was enough for him to wear a jacket. He knew that if Harry were here he would have laughed that Draco's body temperature was always col–

Draco froze mid-thought and mid-step. Harry. Draco wondered whether he should be thinking about that name, that person, but then he realised that he wasn't afraid. He was now afraid of many things but his love for Harry was not one of those. Would it hurt to really think about him? Of course it would. But Draco was okay with that because that would allow him to move on quicker.

He thought back to the many times, now being one of them, as two Death Eaters were being sent to capture Harry at this moment, where he could have alerted Harry, where he could have warned him. He recognised that Harry had instructed him not to do that when they had seen each other for the last time.

"_We need to stop, Draco…completely."_

That is what he had said. _Completely._ That meant communication and he knew that. He kept on walking as he thought about the Gryffindor without really realising where he was going. He thought about the papers in his hands. He was not stupid enough to try and look at them, they had clearly been charmed to only be seen by certain eyes. If Draco were to open them, then he would most likely lose several fingers.

"Sickle for your thoughts?"

"My thoughts are worth more than a sickle, Greengrass." Draco told her. The words had come to his mind automatically as he was used to bantering with her but then he frowned as he looked at his surroundings. "Why am I here?" he asked. He stared at the dark-haired girl perched in the branches of the large tree, the Christmas Tree.

"Why are _you_ here?"

"You of all people know the absolute boredom I suffer in that household, so I went for a walk." she lied.

Draco didn't notice the lie. "You were allowed out?" he asked sceptically, because in times like these Death Eaters kept their families in doors at all times.

"I don't think so, no." She said cheerfully. Draco fixed her with a stern, parenting look. Astoria huffed and rolled her eyes. "Fine," she sighed as she climbed down from the tree and landed on the ground.

"I am walking you home," he told her, his tone displeased at her actions.

"I'm sorry for needing to escape," she told him, trying not to snap. "I thought you of all people would understand that." Draco had no idea what was going on at home, he had no idea what those papers were about – she did.

He stopped walking, closed his eyes and let out a deep breath through his nose. He couldn't stay mad at her. He loved her too much to have her think that he was upset at her. It was not fair of him.

"I'm sorry," he said to her. "I did not mean to get upset. It's just…"

"Things are fucked up right now," she finished for him, "yes, I know."

"Don't swear," he reprimanded, she smiled and he couldn't help but smile back and it felt _good_ to smile.

"What's that," she asked, pointing to the package Draco was carrying, knowing full well what they were.

"I do not know," Draco answered honestly. "Father asked me to bring them over to your father."

Astoria nodded. They continued to walk in silence for a bit.

"Are you coming back to school?" she asked.

"Yes," he replied.

"How is…how is everything at home?" she asked carefully.

Draco didn't answer for a while but when he eventually did, he sounded so unlike himself that Astoria almost jumped. "Sometimes," he began, "I wake up in the middle of the night and when I open my eyes the snake is on my floor, just watching me." Astoria's mouth opened in horror and she brought her hand up to cover her mouth, shocked. Draco didn't notice, his eyes were unfocused, looking forward at nothing in particular. "I do not even know how it gets in there. Sometimes when it hisses it wakes me up. I hear it speaking. Maybe He tells it to watch me when I sleep. Sometimes all I can think about are its yellow eyes and how they stare at me like it knows every secret that I have. And I can't move. I am frozen to the bed. I can't go back to sleep. All I think about is the hungry way it looks at me. Sometimes…I want it to bite me…feel its fangs pierce my flesh, feel the venom burn and pulsate through me. Sometimes I really want to feel the pain. Sometimes I want to feel so much pain that I see red. The way He looks at me sometimes I know He wants to, and I want Him to too. I just want him to say it, say _Crucio_ and thrust his wand at me and smile as he watches me burn, clutch his wand so tight and his arm strains and he cries out like torturing me gives him some kind of sick orgasm or something. Sometimes I just want to write. Sometimes…"

Draco stopped, eyes widening as he realised that he couldn't just say things like that because he wasn't alone. He turned his head to look at Astoria.

The fifteen year old stood there, horrified, her eyes filled with tears, hand covering her mouth. She was trembling and she took a step back.

"Shit," Draco said. He brought his hand up and ran it through his hair, comprehending the horrendous things that he had just said. He cursed himself, how had he not realised that they would scare her, she was only fifteen years old for goodness sake! "I am so sorry."

He took a step forward and she took several backwards, shaking her head as she began to cry. Draco flinched. He had only ever seen her shed a few stray tears, but not _this_. She seemed terrified of him. He felt disgusted with himself.

"Astoria," he said, but she turned and ran. He knew that she was running to her house and he knew where that was. For someone who was two years younger than him she was ridiculously fast. Her house was a good ten minutes away. He Apparated.

He walked up to the black door of their house and knocked. A small house elf opened the door. He began to speak but–

"Pallod move– oh. Hi." Daphne said.

"Hello," Draco said politely.

"How are you?" she asked, deciding that she should probably make some type of conversation.

"Well," he lied, "and yourself?"

"Not too bad," she laughed, finding their awkward talking quite amusing.

"Are you here to see Tori?" Daphne asked. "I dare say the kid has been waiting ten years for you to knock."

Draco couldn't help a small, amused grin spread over his face. He remembered the first time hearing Daphne call Astoria 'Tori' and the poor girl had shot daggers with her eyes at her sister. When Draco teased her about it afterward she had glared at him and the eleven year old had said, "I hate it. It's fucking vile. 'Tori', what a bloody disgrace. How degrading." That was the first time he had told her not to swear. After that event Astoria realised that she fancied Draco and became a bit more reserved around him.

"Actually," Draco said, "I am here to give these to your father." He pointed to the folder in his hand.

"Oh," all traces of amusement left her face instantly. "You had better come in then."

Draco stepped into the house and followed Daphne through a series of hallways and a flight of stairs. They finally reach a door and she knocked on it.

"Come in."

She opened the door and stepped into the room, Draco following her lead. "Father," she said, "Draco Malfoy is here to see you."

"Ahh yes," Randal Greengrass nodded, a small smile on his lips. Daphne left, closing the door behind her.

"My father requested that I bring you this, sir." Draco explained. The man nodded. Draco did not particularly like him. He struck Draco as a shady man, someone who he would not trust. Astoria looked more like her mother and had her personality also. Draco thought Tessa was a lovely lady. He felt that she was similar to his own mother, though not as–

There was a loud _bang! _It came from the level below and Draco knew that Astoria had arrived home. Draco had reflexively looked behind him when he heard the sound and when he turned back he saw that Randal was scrutinizing him. He suddenly felt like he should not have been there.

"My father wishes that I return home soon, Mr. Greengrass, is there anything that you need sent to my father?" Draco said politely.

The man made a grunting noise and said, "Yes. Tell him that I receive the documents and that I am quite pleased to go ahead with the arrangements."

Draco nodded and left the room. As he neared the front door he caught sight of Mrs. Greengrass. "Is it alright if I say hello to Astoria?" he asked.

The older woman looked absolutely delighted at this request. "Certainly!" She said, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically, Draco thought. "Down the hall, up the stairs, third door on the right."

"Thank you," he said and she beamed at him. Eyebrows knit together in confusion at her glee; he walked down the long corridor and up the flight of stairs that he had previously descended from. He knocked on the door.

"Go away Daphne," Astoria called out. Draco opened the door, slipped into the room and closed it.

"It's me," he said quietly.

Astoria, who was curled up on her bed, hurriedly sat up, eyes red and puffy, and looked at him. Her bottom lip trembled. He walked forward and sat on her bed. He reached over and pulled her onto him so that she sat across his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his neck, crying.

He wrapped one arm around her back, holding her comfortingly, and ran one hand through her dark hair. "I am so sorry," he murmured. "You did not need to hear that."

He hugged her tightly in his embrace while she cried, and he felt so utterly protective of her. No matter her maturity, she was just a young girl and she didn't need to be exposed to things like that. This war was going to affect everyone and he wanted her as shielded as possible. He was angry at himself because he had promised himself that he would look after her, even though she was strong she was fragile at the same time, and he had broken that promise.

"I'm so sorry I scared you," he said, and she nodded into his neck. After a while her sobs turned to sniffles and slowly she sat up. Her eyes were puffy and she looked incredibly shaken. "Shit," he cursed and pulled her back next to him. He reached for a tissue and handed it to her.

"Thanks," she mumbled.

"Are you okay?" he asked cautiously, his features contorted with concern.

She nodded, brushing the hairs that stuck to her tear stained cheeks behind her ear. "I'm okay," he said, her voice quivering, assuring him.

"I should not have said that to you," he said to her.

"You shouldn't have said that full stop," she told him. Her eyes filled up again. "What the fuck is going through your head to make you think like that? That is _not_ okay!" she said hysterically. "It's not okay to want a lethal python to _pierce your flesh with its fangs and to feel the venom burn and pulsate through you_." Draco winced. "It's not okay to want the Cruciatus Curse! It's _not okay_ to want to feel pain! It's not okay! Don't you get it?" she exclaimed. "_You're not_ _okay_!"

"I know," he told her, "I know I am not okay. And it wasn't fair on you to tell you that."

"Someone needs to hear it," she said, "it can't stay in your head."

"I can deal with my–"

"If you say that you can deal with your own issues so Salazar help me," she warned him, eyes blazing.

"Well I can!" He protested.

"Bullshit," she glared.

His eyes softened and he looked at her, desperate for her to understand that he loved her and wanted her mind to be whole. "I don't want you to carry my weight."

"But–"

"No," he stopped her, holding up a hand. His eyes silenced her. "You can argue as much as you like, but you are just a little girl."

"I am _no_–"

"You are. You are fifteen years old. We are about to go into war, on a side that neither of us wants to be on. You have always been there for me and I am so grateful for that. You are my sister, in everything but blood. However, now _I_ need to look after _you_. I have to protect you. I would never forgive myself if you got hurt. I am not simply talking about physically; I am talking about emotionally and mentally. You need to protect your mind and keep it safe. I do not want you knowing horrors, which is why I loathe and detest myself for what you heard me say."

"Draco I understand," Astoria whispered, "I truly do. But, I have people in my life that look out for me. Who do _you_ have?"

Who did he have?

He had, had Harry.

Now, he had no one.

He placed a kiss to her temple and brought her back across his lap and they stayed there for a while. Draco wondered what Harry was doing, he wondered if he was thinking about him. He wondered, maybe in another life, how life would have been together.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry sat in Grimmauld Place. He sat alone in an empty room that was dark and cold. This was the room that he and Draco had slept in, had slept together, a little over a year ago, when the hardest thing that life threw them was keeping their relationship a secret. He didn't want to, but he couldn't help thinking back to that night. The memories bombarded him; they felt so sharp and painful yet comforting and warm.

_"Finally!" exclaimed Draco Malfoy who looked extremely annoyed. Harry just laughed at the blond. Draco narrowed his eyes at Harry._

_"It's not funny!" he huffed, "I've had a horrible night."_

_Harry shook his head as his grin broadened "Let me guess," he said trying to keep a straight face, "you misplaced your conditioner and you're having a bad hair day?"_

Slash.

His hands clenched together, balled fists at his side. He sat in the corner; he didn't have the strength to sit on the bed, not when the last people on it had been them.

_Draco glared at Harry "Firstly," he began putting as much contempt into his voice as possible "I had to practically rip my mother off my arm tonight. I told her I was that I was going to visit my girlfriend–"_

_"–oh yes, I can see how that killed you," laughed Harry "since you're the effeminate one."_

_Draco was sorely tempted to stick out his tongue "Fuck you," Draco said airily as he couldn't contradict harry, it was true._

_"Soon," winked Harry. Draco ignored him and continued._

Slash.

He missed him. He missed him so fucking much. He missed his laugh, his smile, his stormy eyes…

_"Then I had to Apparate here," Draco shuddered evidently repulsed "and you know I hate Apparating."_

_"Because it messes up your hair, sweetheart?" teased Harry as he sat himself down in the armchair._

_"Don't get petty with me Potter," Draco retorted, "I had to make it past all those bloody enchantments you put on this place." Draco allowed a rare pause as he drew breath and then resumed "and," he groaned "I had to get up here without Granger knowing."_

_Harry couldn't help it, he laughed at the Slytherin who looked so sincerely serious. Draco was telling Harry all this as if it were some horrible disaster. However he did have to admire his boyfriend's spell work._

Slash.

How was Harry supposed to concentrate on planning? How was he supposed to concentrate on finding Horcruxes; keeping himself alive; keeping Ron and Hermione alive; bringing Voldemort to his end when all he was thinking about was Draco?

He rested his head against the cold, dusty wood. He wondered if Ron and Hermione were asleep yet, he wondered if they would here him crying.

_"You poor, poor darling," Harry laughed sarcastically. "Although," Harry grinned, "when Ron started talking about Quidditch – I would have given _anything_ to see the look on your face."_

_Draco let out a dramatically irritated sigh. When Ron had begun talking about this year's Gryffindor team Draco was sure the conversation would have lasted past midnight._

_Draco put his hands on his hips and looked at Harry "I almost ripped off the cloak and demanded sex from you right there and then."_

_Harry rolled his eyes playfully "Yes, because that would have worked out well for everyone. You're so impatient."_

Slash. Slash. Slash.

It was as if each cut bled tears.

_"I haven't seen you in over a month." Draco reasoned and Harry realised just how happy he was to see him. Harry got up from his armchair and walked over to Draco, rapping his arms around him and pulled him close._

_"I've missed you." Harry said quietly, all pretences aside now._

_Draco leaned forward and gently brushed Harry's lips with his own. Harry could feel Draco's warm breath on his lips. They continued like this, barely touching until Harry closed the fractional gap between them hungrily and kissed Draco. God how he had missed this, the feel of Draco's mouth against his, the way their tongues fought for dominance, the way he tasted._

_Draco broke away for air, "I've missed you too, Harry."_

_Harry's green eyes found Draco's grey ones and they stayed like this for a while, locked into a deep gaze._

When Harry woke up the next morning he found himself wrapped up in the burgundy bed sheets that he and Draco had once made love on; waking up to the realisation that memories and dreams were not in his reality any longer.

_"I love you," he said, his breathing beginning to stabilize._

_Harry moved his hand down to Draco's head and stroked his hair tenderly "I love you too," he whispered. Draco breathed in contently; this was perfection._

_"How long will you stay?" Harry asked ending the silence._

_"I'll most likely leave before everyone wakes up," Draco sighed, running a finger gently down Harry's leg._

_"Good night," whispered Draco as he snuggled into the crook in Harry's shoulder and rapped Harry's arm around him. _

_"Good night," Harry whispered back, "see you in the morning." Harry's eyes closed and finally gave in to exhaustion._

_"Maybe you will…" Draco murmured into the silence. Listening to Harry's breathing and feeling his chest fall and rise beside him, Draco, too, drifted to sleep…_

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Fred, George and Ginny had all taken to sleeping in the same room. They were being watched and that was a fact.

"They're okay, Ginny." Fred assured her quietly.

"Yeah," George said, backing his twin up. "It's Harry…and _Hermione_. They'll all be fine."

"You worried about school, Gin?" Fred asked.

"Not really, no." Ginny answered. She had Luna and her other friends. Plus, she knew how to defend herself. "It'll just be different…_lonely _without the three of them."

All three Weasley's winced as they heard their mother shouting downstairs, her subject no doubt was Arthur.

"What did she expect was going to happen?" Ginny asked, irritated at her mother. "He's the Chosen One, he has a job to do. Even if he wasn't, he'd still go and fight, it's who he is, and it pisses me off that mum doesn't understand that – that she tried to prevent it."

"You know that's how she is Gin. She's a worrywart. But she only does it because she loves him…because she loves the lot of them." George told her.

"Yeah," Ginny sighed, "I know."

"Think back to a happy time," Fred mused, "where Filch got caught in his knickers and he hobbled all over the castle in search of his clothes."

"Fred, that's never happened." Ginny snorted.

"Says the girl who was not at Hogwarts for years while we were," George winked.

Ginny was stunned into a moment's silence before she burst out laughing at her two older brothers. They were both pleased that they had gotten her to laugh and so they all drifted off to sleep, Ginny taking her brothers' advice and thinking of happy times…

…_Ginny, Harry, Ron and Hermione sat in a compartment on the train back home. _

"_Summer holidays," Ron exhaled blissfully. "I'm starving."_

"_We ate two hours ago Ron," Hermione said. _

"_Yeah, but I could really have some waffles right now." He said thoughtfully. _

_Ginny smirked and winked at Harry who stifled a laugh. "What would you have on them?" Ginny asked with a serious face. _

"_Syrup on my waffles, I think." Ron replied. _

_Harry and Ginny did not stop laughing for the next five minutes while Hermione and Ron shared confused looks…_

- O -

…"_Where is Hermione?" Ginny groaned, curled up on the common room couch. "How long does it take to go to the hospital wing and get something for period pain?"_

"_I'm sure she won't be long you'll probably be over it soon," Ron told her. Ginny glared at her brother in disgust at his attempt to brush off her pain._

_Harry thought now was about the right time to intervene and say something comforting. _

"_I feel your pain," he tried. _

_Ginny looked up at him. "Harry you are a male. You have a dick. You don't feel _anything_ other than the constant need to fuck."_

_Hermione returned to find Ginny curled up in pain, and Ron and Harry curled up on the floor beside her rolling around laughing…_

- O -

…_The four students finally stepped off the train and stepped foot onto Platform 9 ¾, more than ready for the next three months of summer. _

"_I'm still hungry," Ron grumbled. _

"_Ronald, come and meet my parents." Hermione said, pulling him by the arm. It was safe to say that all hunger left Ron's body immediately. Arthur Weasley was more than happy to accompany him. _

_Ginny and Harry gave Ron a thumbs up and a shit-eating grin, in turn he gave him the finger. _

"_I'm seriously thirsty," Ginny said. "How the hell do you run out of pumpkin juice?"_

"_We'll go buy something outside at the station?" Harry suggested. _

"_Yeah, alright." Ginny nodded. She called out to her mother, "Mum! Harry and I are going to buy something to drink!"_

"_Alright dear!" Molly called back absentmindedly, fixing Fred and George's muggle clothes. _

_They both raced each other outside of the barrier, clutching their sides (sporting horrible stiches) as they went up to a vending stand. As they purchased their bottles of water, water being the safe option, Ginny casually picked up a Muggle newspaper and began flicking through it. _

"_Are you going to buy that, missy?" the old looking vendor asked. _

"_No, just looking." Ginny smiled politely. _

"_Anything interesting?" Harry inquired, looking over her shoulder as he opened his bottle of water. _

_Ginny shrugged. She turned the page and their eyes both found the small article in the right hand corner reading: "TEEN BREAKS MASTURBATING RECORD."_

_Ginny shook with laughter as she handed the vendor back the newspaper. Both Gryffindors almost walked into a pole, as they could not see in front of them due to the tears of laughter that resided in their eyes. _

"_Teen breaks–… teen breaks–" Ginny gasped, her arms wrapped around herself, her long red hair falling in front of her face. _

"_Merlin," Harry chocked out. They both barely possessed enough restraint to keep from collapsing onto the station floor and roll around laughing. _

"_What's up with you two?" Ron asked, appearing suddenly with Hermione, George and Fred. Harry held up a hand, palm up, indicating that he was in no state to answer his question. _

"_Teen breaks masturbating record," she burst out, and she and fell into another fit of laughter. The twins simply snorted._

"_I will never understand them," Hermione said as she looked at Ron, sounding like she was referring to an alien race. _

"_Yeah, umm…" Ron agreed. _

"_Oh shit," Harry said, finally coming down from his high, "that was hilarious."_

"_We are buying the muggle newspaper everyday from now on," Ginny declared, giggling. _

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"_As long as you are in this castle, as long as you are within these walls, you're safe."_

That was what Harry had said to him more than four months ago. He was almost there, almost at Hogwarts. Though, it was not safe any longer. It was controlled by the Death Eaters, Snape, _Him_. It was not safe for anyone anymore.

He boarded the train and walked down the corridor to sit in his usual compartment. Astoria stopped and Draco halted also. "Where are you going?" he asked her.

She indicated to the compartment she was about to enter, "This is where I usually sit."

Draco pursed his lips, calculating. "Alright," he said, allowing her to sit with her friends, I'll come and check on you later."

He knew that he was being overprotective and he knew that it would irritate her, but there were Death Eaters on the Hogwarts Express.

She knew that he was being over protective and she knew that he knew that it irritated her a bit, but there were Death Eaters on the Hogwarts Express so she kept quiet and nodded, allowing him to worry about her safety.

"I see you both are still going strong," Draco commented as he sat down in his compartment with Blaise and Pansy, who were lip-locked.

"We broke up at the beginning of the holidays." Pansy said.

Why did everything have to be so damn confusing? "Then…"

Pansy shrugged.

"So why did you break up?" Draco asked, clearly not understanding.

"Draco, it was _summer_." She rolled her eyes. "You're supposed to have fun. Plus, Blaise is getting married so he wasn't allowed to see me. I wasn't just going save myself and wait for school to start, are you kidding me?"

A normal person would have choked on their own breath upon hearing the news that their friend, who was in their last year of school, was to be married. However, for Draco, this concept was perfectly normal throughout the Pureblood community.

"I thought Pansy would have been the first to be married off," Draco admitted.

"So did I," Pansy acknowledged.

"No one wants you," Blaise teased.

"_You_ want me," Pansy smirked.

"Mmm," Blaise agreed, leaning in to kiss her. Draco rolled his eyes and huffed through the exchange of saliva. Finally, not being able to take anymore, he cleared his throat. "So what is she like?" he asked Blaise.

"Not bad," he shrugged. "Wants to have kids and all of that. She talks too much."

"And you are allowed to be with Pansy this year?" Draco asked. "Won't she mind?"

"She won't know," Blaise answered.

"How? I think she will notice when your lips are attached to Pansy's during breakfast in the great hall."

"She doesn't go to Hogwarts."

"Where does she go then?" Pansy asked.

"You don't know?" Draco asked Pansy incredulously.

"I didn't ask. I don't really care." Pansy said honestly.

"She doesn't go _anywhere_," Blaise said. He sighed at his friends' confused looks. "She finished school _years_ ago. She's twenty five."

"No _wonder_ you're all over my young and perky body," Pansy commented.

"Oh Salazar Slytherin," Draco groaned, standing up – _perky _was the last straw. "I am going to get some air."

"Knock when you're about to come in!" Pansy called as he shut the door.

He mumbled to himself, "It's a train not a brothel for fuck sake–"

_BAM!_

Draco rubbed his forehead and the bridge of his nose with his palm. He looked up to see who he had walked into.

He groaned. "Why are you so tall?" he asked Astoria, who was rubbing her own head. "What are you doing out in the corridor?" he asked sternly.

"They're making their way through the train," she answered quietly. He didn't need to ask her to specify on who 'they' were.

"Where are they now?"

"Two compartments down," she replied, "word's spread through. You okay? You look paler than usual."

"Yeah," he said, "Blaise is getting married, was a little surprised is all."

The blood drained from Astoria's face. "Oh," she said, looking like she had seen a ghost.

"Are you okay, Greengrass?" Draco asked, his turn to be concerned.

Astoria swallowed. "Yes, I'm fine. It's just…I don't like _them_." She lied.

"Do you want to come into my compartment?" he suggested.

She nodded and they quickly walked down the corridor. Draco knocked on the door and counted to ten, as the blinds were pulled down on the glass. As they both entered, Pansy was pulling her top over her head and Blaise was buttoning up his shirt.

Astoria flushed a bright red and she quietly took a seat next to Draco. Pansy took one look at her evident blush and a grin spread across her face, "Oh I'm going to like this one."

Draco struggled not to sigh; he could already predict the teasing Astoria would get from Pansy for being so easily embarrassed. "Pansy," he warned.

"Where are your manners Draco? Don't be a rude git. Introduce us." Pansy said, still sporting her grin, which was now slowly turning into a smirk.

"Of course, I apologise." He said to Astoria and Pansy was surprised to see Draco's formal, and well 'original', self as she had not seen it for such a long time. "This is Astoria Greengrass, Daphne's younger sister. She is two years below us. Astoria, this is Pansy Parkinson and Blaise Zabini."

"Draco tells me that you are to be married, congratulations to the both of you." Astoria said to Blaise. Draco nearly fell over; since when did she wear this demeanour?

Pansy burst out laughing. "Oh honey, _we're_ not getting married."

Astoria looked at Draco, confused. "But…" she thought back to only moments ago when they had been putting their clothes back on.

"No, no, no," Pansy continued. "He's just a good fuck."

Astoria's blush re-appeared at Pansy's bluntness. Pansy was positively delighted at this reaction.

"Ignore her," Draco suggested.

"So what does Draco say about _me_?" Pansy asked her.

"Nothing much," Astoria answered. It was true. And if Draco did talk about Pansy it was because she was either being mean or he had unfortunately walked in on her and Blaise_ again_.

"Seriously, what does–"

The door opened Fenrir Greyback cocked his head and smiled at them. It was the type of smile that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up straight. Astoria stiffened though did not look away when he looked into her eyes. Draco slipped an arm around her waist and held her close to him. This made Greyback chuckle, exposing his yellow teeth.

"We all behaving our little selfies in here, ain't we?" he said, asking a question that only had one answer.

"Yes," Draco replied.

With that the werewolf left, moving on to the next compartment to frighten the students of Hogwarts before the year had even begun. "Merlin he smells," Pansy said, wrinkling her nose. Blaise opened the window a fraction to let in some fresh air. "I think this will be a good year," she stated. "For us Slytherins anyway."

No, it wouldn't be a good year; things were out of control. And the last thing he was told before he went to board the Express was that there were Death Eaters on watch in front of Grimmauld Place.

"I am going to go to the bathroom," he said as he stood up. "Will you be okay in here?" he asked Astoria. She nodded and tried to give her best reassuring smile. He nodded and then turned to Pansy, pointing a finger at her, "Leave her alone." Pansy drew a circle around her head, signifying a halo, and Draco rolled his eyes.

As soon as the door closed Pansy turned on Astoria, "So, Greengrass–"

"Why does everybody call me that?" she asked, huffing.

"Would you prefer 'Malfoy' then?" Pansy asked, teasing the younger girl.

Astoria's mouth dropped open. She quickly closed it, feeling her blush run up her neck and inflame her face. Pansy laughed out loud and Blaise chuckled quietly.

"Anyhow," Pansy said, "do _you_ know who this girl is that Draco has been seeing."

Astoria shook her head. "I don't know who it is, no. But I know that she is very special to him and it's a sensitive subject at the moment so I suggest that you don't ask him about it."

"Geez," Pansy chuckled, "where'd Draco find you?"

"We live near each other," Astoria replied. "And our fathers work closely together."

"I see. And you've never asked him who this girl is?"

"No. It's none of my business. He's become a better person because of her and that's good enough for me." Astoria told her, sounding far more mature than Pansy could have ever accomplished.

"No wonder he keeps you around," Pansy laughed and Astoria thought that was rather mean and no doubt rude. Pansy then turned to Blaise and her tongue found Blaise's mouth before her lips did. Blaise slid his hand up Pansy's top and pulled her onto his lap. Astoria's eyes widened to the shape of saucers and looked elsewhere, accepting that her face would have a constant blush for the rest of the train ride.

Meanwhile, Draco had _not_ gone to the bathroom, as it was not his true intention to do so. He quietly slipped past the Death Eaters and moved two carriages down the train. He knew it wasn't a good idea but he had to check and see what was happening.

Unlike the Slytherin area of the train, the Gryffindor area was silent. All compartments seemed to be locked and no one was in the corridors; the Hogwarts Express had never been like this on the first day back. He put on his façade again before he proceeded.

"Well, well, well…what do we have here?" Draco asked, unlocking the door to the compartment of Ginny Weasley, Luna Lovegood, Dean Thomas and Neville Longbottom.

"What the fuck do you want, Malfoy?" Ginny spat.

"Now is that really the way to talk to a prefect, Weasley?" Draco tut-tutted. Dean placed a hand over Ginny's, silently asking her to keep calm; she glared at Draco with hatred. "You seem to be missing something. Ah yes; Potter, the mudblood and Weasley. Odd that they are all absent at the same time. I would call it a coincidence but…I think _not_." His upper lip curled on the last word. "Where are they?"

"Ronald is sick, as I am sure you know. Hermione is on vacation with her family currently, and Harry is…"

"Yes, finish the sentence Weasley, where is Potter?"

"His whereabouts is none of your business," Dean said, speaking up.

"Perhaps. Though, my father is presently very determined on making it his. In fact, when Dolohov passes by you might want to enquire when he is scheduled to watch over Grimmauld Place."

Ginny and Neville sat up straight and Dean put a hand on both their shoulders. "I'll kill you," Ginny hissed. "If they as much as fucking touch them, I'll kill you." She quivered with rage.

Draco turned to leave and before he shut the door he said, "Ten points from Gryffindor."

He hurried back to Astoria, Pansy and Blaise who all thought he had gone to the bathroom. He entered the compartment to find Astoria, with a beetroot-red face, sitting in the corner looking out of the window; he assumed it was the only place she felt comfortable looking at. And Pansy and Blaise engrossed with each other, sprawled across the seat, thankfully wearing clothes. Astoria looked relieved to see him.

The next ten minutes were spent with Draco reprimanding the other two Slytherin's. His speech was a mixture of, "Have you no shame?"…"She is _fifteen_ years old!"…"Can you two control yourselves!"…"Highly inappropriate!"…"How is she supposed to feel?"… "For fuck sake!"… "Can I not leave you two alone, with my only request being to behave yourselves in front of her, for ten minutes without you humping each other like a pair of rabbits?"…"You are getting married for Merlin's sake!"…"Where is the self-respect?"… "I do not even know why I bother to be honest, goes in one ear and out the other."… "In the name of Merlin, his Book and all the Hogwarts Houses, you are both little shits."…"Remind me why I am friends with you?"…"Where is the mature choice making – no – where is your _brain_?"…" "How can you– whatever."

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

_Tuesday, 2__September 1997_

**UNDESIRABLE NUMBER ONE HARRY POTTER INFILTRATES MINISTRY**

Draco threw the _Daily_ _Prophet_ onto his bed angrily after having read the two page long article. "What the _fuck_ does he think he is playing at?" Draco seethed.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"We can't go back to Grimmauld Place, Harry." Hermione told him, her lip quivering. "I'm so sorry."

What were they supposed to do now?

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Ginny had overheard Snape telling Dolohov. Ginny told Neville, Luna, her parents, Fred and George and Dean. Dean had told Seamus. Seamus had told Lavender and in turn she told Pavarti. Parvati told Padma who had already heard it from Luna, and she wrote a note to her girlfriend Katie and sent it via owl. Pavarti wrote a letter to Molly and Arthur only to discover that they had received word from Ginny earlier this morning. Padma had told Terry Boot and he told Anthony Goldstein. Marcus Flint's younger brother had overheard Anthony telling his team mate during Quidditch Ravenclaw's practice, which he had been spying on. He told Millicent who told Daphne who told Blaise. Blaise had told Pansy after they had fucked twice and when the end of lunch came she told Draco in the charms class they had together.

Harry Potter had been hiding out in a house called Grimmauld Place, which had been his Godfather's, Sirius'.

Draco was becoming more on edge with each stupid and careless move that Harry made.

What was he supposed to do now?

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"_Expecto Patronum!_"

Nothing.

"_Expecto Patronum!" _Harry exclaimed again.

Nothing.

Harry's lips mashed into an angry line and he seethed in his frustration. Why wasn't the charm working? He closed his eyes and thought of his memory: His first kiss with Draco…

"_Why me?"_

_Draco leaned in hesitantly. Closer and closer he came to Harry's lips. He understood that it was only right to answer the Gryffindor's question before kissing him again. _

"_Because you see me," Draco whispered, his eyes slowly shutting as he closed the remaining distance between them. Their lips met in a kiss. And for the first time, Harry could properly take pleasure in it without wondering why._

"_It scares you shitless doesn't it?" Harry breathed, breaking away for a moment._

"_Mmhmm," Draco agreed before reconnecting their lips._

_Kissing each other just felt so…right. So natural, so…good. So, so, so good. Even though they were cautious kisses they still sent sparks of blissful energy through them both. Harry wanted to discover this knew territory slowly and enjoy every moment of it…_

"_Expecto Patronum!"_

He had been at this for more than an hour; sweat dripped down his neck.

Nothing.

He let an aggravated shout into the forest. He couldn't understand! The memory was strong enough; his spell work was faultless. He tried again; a different, more intimate memory…

"_I am afraid to lose you._"

_Harry ran his thumb down Draco's jaw. He looked at the person that he treasured most in his life. "Don't be," he whispered, "Draco Malfoy, I promise to love you every day until the end of forever. I will _never_ stop loving you."_

_Draco ran his eyes over Harry's face. "Make love to me?" he breathed. _

_Harry nodded. And then their bodies came together and all of a sudden, they felt love._

"_EXPECTO PATRONUM!"_

And yet no silver stag shot out of his wand. His memories of Draco were not working. Why? How? What was happening to him? The number increased each day on the pocket watch that Draco had given him, Draco still loved him; Harry still loved Draco. He didn't understand.

Later on, when Hermione explained that it was the locket's – the Horcrux's – negative energy that was blocking him from producing his Patronus, Harry had tears of relief in his eyes.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Hogwarts was not like it used to be. There was no laughter; there were no smiles. Differences were not tolerated. Corporal punishments were handed out like sweets to children. The hallways were silent; classrooms were silent except for the voice of the professor or the occasional answering of a question by a selected student. Rules were laws. There was only one way to do things, with an expectation of a certain level of performance, and if both of these were not followed there were undeniably consequences.

When students begun at Hogwarts they were told what separated one House from the other: Ravenclaws were intelligent and witty; Slytherins were cunning and resourceful; Hufflepuffs were friendly and loyal; and Gryffindors were brave and daring. However, now, the difference was evident.

Everyone stuck together except for the Slytherins; they all played a role in their survival at Hogwarts.

The Ravenclaws knew which Death Eater took which class. Mornings in the Great Hall consisted of Ravenclaws sharing around their notes and homework to those who had trouble in completing the tasks that were given, this had never happened before. They answered the questions carefully in class. The library was no longer a place of solace, so they had to resort to taking books back to their common rooms and keeping them there, something that Mrs. Pince has reluctantly agreed to. If a book was needed, Ravenclaws were the ones to go to. They calculated what reaction they would get from what Death Eater, they calculated where a Death Eater would be at what time and what they would be doing. The Ravenclaws took it upon themselves to teach other students the complicated and advanced spells that would assist students in their everyday life. They were the ones who secretly reversed the spells that the Death Eaters had performed on students. The Ravenclaws were the ones that knew the technicalities of how to survive day-to-day life at Hogwarts.

The Hufflepuffs were the ones that always came up to the person who had been punished to see if they were all right. No one knew how or when the Hufflepuffs took it upon themselves, but they suddenly were everywhere. They were always looking out for the welfare of the other students. They took it upon themselves to take students to the hospital wing even if it meant getting caught by Death Eaters. They stayed true to the original professors and tried to assist them, or make their job easier, as much as they could. The Hufflepuffs were the ones that cared for the wellbeing of the students at Hogwarts.

The Gryffindors were like the protectors. They stood up for people. They were the ones that mastered the Ravenclaws' spells the quickest because they _had_ to – they were desperate to. They were the survivors. They shared knowledge of secret passageways, safest corridors to travel, places to hide and many other important details. The Gryffindors kept their eyes keen for any Slytherins that seemed to be lurking too close for the average walking or sitting distance. The Gryffindors were the ones that planned for a way to overthrow the darkness that had infiltrated Hogwarts.

The Slytherins were unknowingly split up into two groups, which they had no idea about. The first were the common Slytherins: the ones who were loyal to Voldemort; enjoyed inflicting corporal punishment; took pleasure in being the favoured ones in the school; and saw nothing wrong with the way Hogwarts was functioning. The second group were the minority; they were the opposite of the second group, though did nothing to show it. Slytherins like Astoria, who were friends with students from other houses, shared whatever information they thought would be helpful. This was in complete secrecy. Slytherins like Draco, who looked at what used to be Hogwarts and hated the way things were, wondered how the other Slytherins were so blind as not to see it too. The Slytherins would have been like the Gryffindors and the Ravenclaws and the Hufflepuffs combined, however they looked after themselves first yet trying to give as much as they could while still being safe.

Though in Draco's opinion, Hogwarts was missing one thing – Harry Potter.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"I'm sorry that I'm on edge all the time!" Harry shouted at Ron and Hermione after what had been the final straw. "I'm sorry that I'm getting no where! I'm sorry that I'm not the Harry that I was last year!"

"We're not saying that! It's hard for us too–" Ron had tried to cut across.

"But it's not!" Harry exploded. "You two have each other! The person I love is stuck back at school, which is being run by Voldemort! I can't think straight! I can't worry about them and finding horcruxes at the same time! So just give me a break, okay?"

With that Harry stormed out of the tent, twigs and dried leaves crunching beneath his feet. He walked out into the forest, hating that he was so angry all the time. As he walked further and further he heard voices. Curious, he continued to walk towards the voices. Harry was shocked to see Dean Thomas more than he was Ted Tonks and the few goblins.

Harry listened in, careful not to make a sound from behind his protective bubble of enchantments, learning about the goings-on at Hogwarts and the fake Sword of Gryffindor in Snape's office.

"But Dean m'boy," Ted said, "you've got a girl at Hogwarts if I recall correctly. And you're on the run!"

Dean sighed and shrugged, "Ginny and I broke it off." Harry's mouth dropped open in shock.

"Sorry to here that," Ted said.

"It was for the best," Dean said, sounding a little sad. "It's hard to have a relationship at Hogwarts nowadays, if you got caught you'd be tortured. But…I suppose Ginny and I just weren't meant for each other."

Harry went back to the tent, hoping that all the arguing would end between them. He didn't expect that that night would lead to Ron leaving the quest to go back home.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Ron was really gone. The weight of it truly hit the next morning. Harry held Hermione as she cried. She kept asking herself in her head why Ron had left her?

"Of course he loves you," Harry told her, "that's a stupid thing to ask."

"But he left Harry, he _left_."

"I left too," Harry said. "Doesn't mean I'm not trying to get back."

They waited for Ron to come back, but they couldn't wait anymore; they had to keep moving. Grudgingly, they packed up their campsite and Apparated. As the days passed Harry found himself becoming more and more hopeless. How did Dumbledore believe that he could do this? He had no idea what to do. He didn't know where the sword was; he didn't have a clue where to look for the next Horcrux. He felt engulfed in impossibility. They never brought up Ron and they never brought up Draco ("_her_"), they had both silently agreed on it. Their nights were quiet and lonely and sad. Hermione always seemed to fall asleep before Harry, and that was Harry's alone time.

One particular night he thought of Draco. He wondered if he was okay. He counted it as a blessing that he had a way that he knew if his boyfriend was still alive (the pocket watch). He stopped. Was Draco still his boyfriend? Had he, Harry, not ended their relationship in July?

_But how can he not be my boyfriend?_ Harry thought. How could they not? From the way that they had laughed, shared thoughts and stories and memories, from the way they had grown together, from the way they had touched.

Harry felt himself becoming hard beneath his pyjamas. He attempted to shift his thinking as the thought of relieving himself made him feel ashamed. For one, Hermione was only a room away from him and secondly, his releases belonged to Draco; how was it fair that he was to feel pleasure when Draco wouldn't?

But he needed it, needed it so badly. He needed to remember what it was like to be touched. He was desperate for it, starved for it. He wanted to feel the heat course through his body because he knew it would remind him of a time when things were happy. He needed the outlet; he needed the escape.

He wanted to recall a world that consisted of first times, slow kisses and safe embraces.

His eyelids fluttered shut as he brushed his hand over the bulge in his pyjamas. He slipped his hand under the waistband of his pants. He made no sound, as it symbolised the relationship they had kept quiet, silenced by the world's opinions and politics.

He imagines pale skin on a canvas that was Harry's own body. He imagined blonde hair, brushing the sweat-coated strands behind his ear. He imagined the sounds of skin slapping against skin; the sharp in take and out take of breath; the involuntary moans and whines of pleasure; and the loudest sound of all that was silent – _love_.

Harry ran his thumb over the head of his erection and pictured perfectly shaped nails pressing harshly into his back. He thought of pale, elegant fingers squeezing him gently at first but then grasping him firmly. He recalled how good it felt, how good he had been made to feel. He fantasized of long, fast strokes, their rhythm replacing that of his own heartbeat.

Harry couldn't help the filthy thoughts high jacked his mind. He couldn't help that when he saw his own leaking cock he imagined it thrusting inside that familiar heat in one, deep, long thrust, causing a blissful reaction from the Slytherin. His body longed with the one thing that allowed him to create deep movements inside the other body.

As his speed increased, he ran a finger over his bottom lip, imagining feather light kisses being placed upon it. Fingers, gasps and tongues became his foremost thoughts, casing a coiling in his abdomen, alerting him to the fact that this would soon end quickly.

His mind drifted in and out of memories and he wondered if the tears in his eyes, or the silent dry sobs in his throat, were because of the emptiness in his heart or the anticipation of the wave of euphoria that would crash down on him in only a few moments.

It scared him how real it felt. He could imagine the exact feel of the other boy placing his hand at the back of Harry's damp neck, pulling him down close so that his lips were touching his ear.

"_I love you._"

Lights flashed behind his eyes and he came with powerful pleasure, rapture engulfing him, and an unvoiced name on his lips:

_Draco_.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"Hermione I need to go to Godric's Hollow," Harry said the next morning as they sat down to have breakfast.

She placed her hand over his, "I know, Harry. We'll go tomorrow."

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"Fucking hell Draco, snap the fuck out of it! What is wrong with you?" Pansy snapped. "You should be happy! We've won the war!"

"Do not pretend like you know why I am upset!" Draco spat back.

"Oh, of _course_ this is about _her_," Pansy laughed maliciously. "It's always about _her_ these days isn't it? She's brainwashed you Draco!"

"Do not speak about her!" Draco shouted. "You have no clue as to what is going on!"

"Well she isn't in the castle from what I can gather. She's gone Draco. She's not coming back. Move on. Act like a Slytherin. Act like a _Malfoy_." Pansy's eyes had become narrow slits as he hissed at him.

Draco took out his wand and pointed it at her threateningly. "Don't you _dare_," he warned in a low and dangerous tone, "tell me how to act. Don't you dare tell me to move on from something that is not gone."

"Draco lower your wand," Blaise told him, standing up.

"I will not be spoken to like that," Draco spat at her, "I told you I would put up with your bullshit but I said nothing of tolerating pure cruelty."

The cold air swirled around them. Winter had brought snow and they were standing near the lake, subject to the cold temperature.

Blaise took out his own wand, pointing it at Draco. "Lower your wand," he repeated. Draco was shaking with rage.

"Draco put your wand away," came a new voice. Pansy and Blaise whipped their heads around to see who it was. Draco knew who it was and he was still glaring at Pansy, wand clutched tightly in his hand.

"Draco," the voice said again, tone calm, "put it away. Please."

Slowly but surely Draco lowered his wand, shoving it into his robe pocket. He turned around and stormed off furiously, not looking behind him.

"Thanks Greengrass," Pansy said, sneering a little.

For once, Astoria did not feel threatened by the older girl. She held her own authority. "I told you not to talk about _her_ to him. Just leave him alone about it! Can't you see he's hurting?"

With that, Astoria left. She wanted to go and see if Draco was okay but she knew that she needed his space. When she returned to her dorm she was surprised to find a letter from her father.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry stood in front of his parents' grave. Hermione had walked into another aisle a few rows down to give him some privacy. 

He couldn't hold back his tears. "I guess it just seems a whole lot more real seeing it like this." Harry sniffed. "You're really gone." He bobbed down, an unconscious attempt to be closer to them. "Everyone seems to be going. I…I'm trying so hard but everything's…just slipping away. Shit, you're really under there aren't you? I need you both so much. I have always needed you. But now, I'm looking for answers and I can't find any." He wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "I wanted to tell you that…I'm seeing someone. It's a guy. His name is Draco Malfoy. He's a Slytherin and his father is a Death Eater and I love him so much. Can you…can you tell him that I love him? Can you keep him safe, watch over him for me? I can't lose him." The cold Christmas Eve night tried to seep in through the layers of clothing that Harry was wearing. He placed a gloved hand his parents' grave. "I want to bring him here to meet you. I just…I need you to be with me so I can make the right choices. I'm so confused with everything right now. It's strange to think I lived here, that I had a mum and a dad. I feel like I know you even though I haven't met you, or that I can't remember you. And sometimes…" he exhaled shakily, "Merry Christmas mum, Merry Christmas dad."

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

**BATHILDA BAGSHOT FOUND DEAD IN GODRIC HOLLOW'S HOME**

**HARRY POTTER IN GODRICS' HOLLOW?**

**HARRY POTTER THOUGHT TO HAVE BEEN AT BIRTHPLACE GODRIC'S HOLLOW – WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?**

**UNDESIRABLE NUMBER ONE – REWARD RATE AMPLIFIED**

This time Draco through the Daily _Prophet_ in the common room fireplace. Things were getting worse. He watched as the paper caught alight and the words were burnt away until all that was left was a flaky black, tissue-paper-like remains. Every article he read about Harry alerted him that every time Harry was spotted it was in a more dangerous situation than the last. "Why the fuck would you go home?" Draco muttered to himself. "Why put yourself in that position. What the fuck is Granger doing? It doesn't take a genius to figure out that that place was a fucking death trap. Fuck, Harry. What are you thinking?"

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Things still were not the same without Ron, and Harry was as confused as ever. Everything he thought was true seemed to be turning out to be lies. Hermione told him that he was over-reacting and blowing things out of proportion. He argued back that that was the way things were looking presently. Dumbledore for example – the man he thought he knew, it turned out he knew nothing about him. It angered, frustrated and saddened him at the same time. He was friends with _Gellert Grindewald_: Famous dark wizard. The same wizard who, from Harry's visions through Voldemort's mind, was sought after by Voldemort himself.

Did Dumbledore ever truly care about him? He never voiced this question, as Hermione would have said it was ludicrous, yet Harry could not stop himself from asking it. He felt like all of the questions he had he couldn't ask because someone or something would tell him that they were insignificant. He felt like he could have stood in the middle of a Quidditch pitch, screaming at the top of his lungs, and no one would answer him – no one would _hear_ him.

He felt doubtful.

And that was dangerous.

He wasn't allowed to feel doubtful, he couldn't afford to. He had to have faith; he had to believe in what he was doing. Yet he was so lost and confused and questioning everything that used to seem so solid. He needed something to help him see again.

That reason was asleep in a castle named Hogwarts, unaware that someone needed him – unaware of the plans being made that involved him.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"Have you told him yet?" Daphne asked her sister. They sat together on Astoria's bed in their pyjamas, protected by the concealing enchantments that they had cast around the bed.

"No," Astoria said sceptically.

"You'll need to," Daphne said simply and gently.

Astoria looked up at her with an annoyed look. "And how the fuck am I supposed to do that?"

"That's not my issu–"

"Don't you understand how fucking shit I feel? I feel like a monster, doing this to him."

"But you're not doing anything to him deliberately! You were forced int–"

"I know that!" Astoria burst out loudly. "He's going to hate me for the rest of his life! I hate myself! This isn't– Just leave Daphne."

"Astoria–" 

"Go." Astoria said resolutely. "Now."

Daphne pushed herself off the bed and left the room. Astoria removed the enchantments with a wave of her wand and pulled the covers over herself. It was late.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Somewhere, in a forest on the side of the country, a certain red-haired man was reconciling with his friends. Ronald Weasley had come back. Harry left early that morning to give Ron and Hermione some privacy.

He had taken Hermione's wand with him for safety measures, as his was broken. He had brought a blanket with him as well, and he found a small dip in the ground level. He walked down and sat against the thick tree trunk there, protected from the harsh winter wind. Sitting there alone, knowing that back in the tent his two best friends were attempting to patch up what had been torn, he couldn't help but think about the Slytherin back at home.

He felt stranded in this forest. He felt stuck in a vast sea of emotion, trapped on a miniscule island, the tide coming in, rising higher and higher; he was sure he would drown. And yet knowing that he was about to be pulled under, Draco's face was what he saw.

"Miss you babe," Harry said, barely audible. "Wish you were here to make me laugh. Wish I could just hold your hand…warm it up because it's bound to be cold; you're always freezing. I just wish that I could hear you speak, not to tell me what I should do but just to hear your voice again. I swear I still remember what it sounds like, I haven't forgotten. I could never forget. Do you think I have forgotten you, is that what you think? Well you're wrong – I haven't."

Harry pulled the woollen blanket up a little higher. While he talked to himself, to Draco, he picked at the lint on the blanket.

"Do you hear me when I talk to you?" he asked out loud. "I sometimes think you can, but then I remember that you probably try not to think about me at all. I'm sorry about that. Just so you know I think about you all the time. I dream about you too. Those are my favourites because I get to see you, feel you, talk to you, hug you; I don't feel scared. I actually feel sort of invincible – because you're there. I can't wait until there is nothing in between us…I really need you right now."

Harry gave a humourless laugh, "When do I _not_ need you?"

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Draco walked up to the tree where a Valentine's Day, that seemed so long ago, was captured there on the tree by the lake with love quote engravings. One message caught his grey eyes and suddenly, there was nothing else in the world than the aching within his soul.

_If you love somebody, let them go. If they return they are always yours. If they don't they never were._

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"Mate, time doesn't pass _that_ quickly." Ron commented after watching Harry reach down his top to retrieve the pocket watch that religiously hung around his neck, look at it and then put it back, continuously.

Harry shrugged, "I just like to be reminded is all."

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"Draco," Snape said, "you father has requested that you return to the manor instantly."

"_What_?"

"You will travel via the Floo network," Snape continued, ignoring Draco's question.

"What is going on?" Draco asked, his palms were sweaty. This could not be a simple family gathering.

"You father will explain when you arrive," Snape said forcefully.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"The Deathly Hallows?" Harry confirmed incredulously, echoing Xenophilius Lovegood's words.

"Yes," the man nodded, "are you familiar with the tale of the Three Brothers?"

"Yes," Ron and Hermione both said.

"No," Harry said, his voice sounding far away as his mind was off in the distance, thinking. "But…I've heard of the name…I can't remember– Oh."

Yes, Harry remembered now. A memory that he had thought of not so long ago…

…"_The moral of the story is," Harry sighed, "don't go into peoples houses if they don't answer the door."_

"_I never would have guessed," Draco said dryly._

"_And if you get yourself into something that seems bad, you can't just run away because you never know if there might be some good there."_

"_Where do you find this bullshit from?" Draco asked, snorting. _

"_It's a muggle fairy tale," Harry answered, slightly defensive. _

"_I am not even going to comment," Draco replied, he rolled his eyes but grinned. _

_Harry's hands were suddenly quiet busy again…_

"_Ugh," Draco protested, "Harry I'm tired."_

"_Tough." Kiss. "Luck." Kiss. "I'm not," he smirked, "in fact, I'm up for round three."_

"_Fine, fine," Draco relented. "Just give me five minutes to recover."_

_Harry scoffed, "Some sex machine you are. I think we need to re-evaluate your _screws_." Harry punctuated that with a wink, alerting Draco that the pun was intended._

_Draco snorted. "Fuck off," he said fondly. "My screws are functioning perfectly, top performance actually." He pulled Harry on top of him. Harry began a light, continuing thrust against their crotches. "You are insatiable," Draco complained. _

"_You're the one who pulled me on top of you," Harry shot back. _

"_Because I was _cold_," Draco argued. _

"Sure_," Harry laughed, exaggerating the word. "What are some Wizarding World fairy tales?"_

"_How should I know?"_

"_Oh geez I don't know, maybe because you are a wizard?" Harry deadpanned. _

_Draco rolled his eyes, half because Harry was being a sod, and half because Harry was still humping against him. _

"_Remind me why we are discussing this?"_

"_Because I'm waiting for you to get hard, Mr. Flaccid." _

"_I resent that."_

"_Wizard fairy tales – I'm still waiting." Harry said. _

"_Oh I don't know! The Fountain of Fair Fortune; The Warlock's Hairy Heart; The Very Sleepy Witch; The Wizard and the Hopping Pot; The Hippogriff's Hunt; Babbity Rabbity and her Cackling Stump…er…The Tale of the Three Brothers…."_

"_The last one sounds good," Harry noted, "tell me it."_

_Draco was about to tell Harry that if he wanted to hear the story he had two perfectly functioning legs that could take him to the library to borrow the book and read it for himself. However, he never got around to it because Harry decided that Draco was hard enough for things to be taken to the next level…_

"Perhaps miss Granger can share it with us?" Xenophilius suggested.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"NO!" Draco shouted. "You cannot make me do this!"

"It is not your decision," Lucius said coldly.

"Mother," Draco turned to his mother desperately, looking at her with pleading eyes. "Please mother, tell him!"

Before Narcissa could open her mouth Lucius snapped, "It is not your mother's decision it is mine."

"It is a magical contract!" Draco exploded. "It is bound by magical law, I could _die_!"

"You _will_ sign that contract Draco." Lucius said, like he had entirely misheard the part where his son could die.

"I won't!" he said, shaking his head vehemently. He was on the verge of tears. "This is not what I want!"

"It is not about what you _want_!" Lucius yelled.

"I am your _son_," Draco cried, "This is not what is best for me."

"Yes, you are my son, and as your father I make that decision. This _is_ what is best for you."

"This is what is best for _you_, not for _me_! I will not go through with this simply for your benefit." He could not hold it in any longer; a tear slipped down his face, so heavy with fear and heartache that it rolled down his cheek and dropped onto the floor. "Father, _please_."

Lucius walked over to Draco, who had stood up from the table and taken several steps back upon hearing the new information. He looked Draco in the eyes, and slapped him hard. "Do not _cry_," Lucius spat, "or I will truly give you something to cry about."

As Lucius walked back to where he had been previously sitting, Draco took the opportunity to catch his mother's eyes. His face contorted into a beseeching look, imploring her to come to his defence. Her eyes, heavy and powerless, looked down, unable to continue to watch her son's torment, yet unable to end it.

"You will sign it," Lucius said calmly, bluntly, forcing a tight smile. "Even if I have to Imperise you to."

His free will had been taken – His heart, beating furiously and brokenly in his chest, was so loud. Why could he not be as loud as his heart, as the thoughts that screamed in his mind? Why was he not screaming and shouting the words that pleaded his case? Why was he being silent? Why was he allowing himself to be tamed? Why couldn't he…_Why would they do this to him? Why wouldn't they _listen_?_ –He only had one choice now, and he would not relinquish it.

He realised that as he walked over to the table where the magical contract lay, he realised that as he picked up the quill and signed away his freedom, his future, he was…no, _they were_ being separated by people who did not even know what love was.

Another tear fell as he sighed.

_Draco Malfoy_

I'm sorry Harry, Draco thought, I'm so, so sorry.

He tried so hard not to hear, not to listen to all those men discuss what was to happen now – but they spoke so loudly.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Something wasn't right.

Harry could feel something wasn't right.

Five minutes later all three realised that Xenophilius Lovegood had summoned the Ministry to capture Harry, Ron and Hermione.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry was extremely worried that the Ministry had taken Luna, but he didn't know how he could help her.

Draco was extremely worried that he didn't want to get up this morning, because he had a feeling that most mornings would be like that from now on.

Hermione keeps insisting that visiting Xenophilius Lovegood was a waste of time and that they should concentrate on finding and destroying the remaining Horcruxes.

Ron was confused as to whose side he should take. He wanted to please Hermione, so that she might forgive him faster. Yet h understood Harry's perspective.

Ginny and Neville were becoming more and more worried. Luna had not come back after Christmas and things were becoming progressively worse at Hogwarts.

Astoria was not mentally present in her classes. Her mind was kept thinking about Draco and, even though he understood it was not her fault, whether she would ever forgive him.

Voldemort was searching for the Elder wand, convinced that it would be the weapon to end Harry Potter. He wanted the Death Stick to fight Harry.

Harry was becoming obsessed with the Deathly Hallows. Now that he knew Voldemort was after the Elder wand, and so firmly believed in its existence. He was frustrated because he could not solve the riddle 'I open at the close' though he was certain that Dumbledore had hidden the Resurrection Stone in it.

Draco was obsessed with Potterwatch and listened to it every night from the safety of his bed in the Manor. He made sure to cast protective enchantments around him so that no one would hear what he was doing and more importantly if someone was coming to enter his room. Potterwatch was the only way he could keep himself calm, knowing that he was able to keep tabs on Harry in some way. It didn't make him feel as helpless as he was. Twenty minutes after he had tuned in, someone knocked on his door. He bolted up out of bed and in quick succession removed the enchantments and opened his door. The house elf notified him that he was requested down stairs immediately.

Harry accidently said Voldemort's name and in a matter of fifteen minutes he found himself with a swollen face and at the Malfoy Manor, the place that Draco told him that he would never let him enter.

"We've caught Harry Potter!" Greyback seized Harry and dragged him around to face the light, forcing the other prisoners to shuffle around too. "I know 'es swollen, ma'am, but it's 'im!" piped up Scabior. "If you look a bit closer, you'll see 'is scar. And this 'ere, see the girl? The Mudblood who's been traveling around with 'im, ma'am. There's no doubt it's 'im, and we've got 'is wand as well!

'Ere, ma'am—" Through his puffy eyelids Harry saw Narcissa Malfoy scrutinizing his swollen face. Scabior thrust the blackthorn wand at her. She raised her eyebrows.

"Bring them in," she said.

Harry and the others were shoved and kicked up broad stone steps into a hallway lined with portraits. Harry was unable to have a good glance at the place Draco lived, the place he detested, as his eyes were almost fully swollen shut.

"Follow me," said Narcissa, leading the way across the hall. "My son, Draco, is home for his Easter holidays. If that is Harry Potter, he will know."

_Draco_.

Harry's heart, which was already beating rapidly due to Adrenaline and fear, sped into overdrive at the mention of Draco's name. He was _here_, he was really here. They were so close.

The drawing room dazzled after the darkness outside; even with his eyes almost closed Harry could make out the wide proportions of the room. A crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling, more portraits against the dark purple walls. Two figures rose from chairs in front of an ornate marble fireplace as the prisoners were forced into the room by the Snatchers.

"What is this?"

The dreadfully familiar, drawling voice of Lucius Malfoy fell on Harry's ears. He was panicking now. He could see no way out, and it was easier, as his fear mounted, to block out Voldemort's thoughts, though his scar was still burning.

"They say they've got Potter," said Narcissa's voice. Harry noticed the change of Narcissa's tone from when she had spoken to the Snatchers in comparison to her husband. "Draco, come here."

Harry did not dare look directly at Draco, ignoring how much he wanted to, but saw him obliquely; a figure slightly taller than he was, rising from an arm- chair, his face a pale and pointed blur beneath white-blond hair. Harry could not see but he knew Draco was trembling.

Greyback forced the prisoners to turn again so as to place Harry directly beneath the chandelier.

"Well, boy?" rasped the werewolf.

Harry was facing a mirror over the fireplace, a great gilded thing in an intricately scrolled frame. Through the slits of his eyes he saw his own reflection for the first time since leaving Grimmauld Place.

His face was huge, shiny, and pink, every feature distorted by Hermione's jinx. His black hair reached his shoulders and there was a dark shadow around his jaw. Had he not known that it was he who stood there, he would have wondered who was wearing his glasses. Would Draco know who he was? Surely if he couldn't he would assume it was Harry regardless as Hermione and Ron were with him. He resolved not to speak, for his voice was sure to give him away; yet he still avoided eye contact with Draco as the latter approached.

"Well, Draco?" said Lucius Malfoy. He sounded avid. A sound that Draco had never heard with his name in the same sentence. "Is it? Is it Harry Potter?"

The silence hung in the air as Draco scrutinized him. Of course it was Harry. Stinging jinx or no stinging jinx, Draco knew his face. He knew what type of smile it would take for Harry's eyes to crinkle at the sides, he knew how his frown looked; he knew everything about Harry's face and this was certainly Harry. Even though it was nothing to be proud of, Draco took pride in his ability to lie successfully and deceivingly – to anyone but Harry that was.

"I can't — I can't be sure," said Draco.

Harry knew instantly that Draco was lying. Not by his tone of voice, although certainly that too, but because of his word selection. It was impossible for Draco Malfoy to be 'unsure'. It was either yes it was Harry or no it wasn't Harry. There were not uncertain waters with Draco.

Draco was keeping his distance from Greyback, and seemed as scared of looking at Harry as Harry was of looking at him for fear of a shared look that would give them away.

"But look at him carefully, look! Come closer!" Harry had never heard Lucius Malfoy so excited and he did not doubt that Draco hadn't either. "Draco, if we are the ones who hand Potter over to the Dark Lord, everything will be forgiv—"

"Now, we won't be forgetting who actually caught him, I hope Mr. Malfoy?" said Greyback menacingly. "Of course not, of course not!" said Lucius impatiently. He approached Harry himself, came so close that Harry could see the usually languid, pale face in sharp detail even through his swollen eyes. With his face a puffy mask, Harry felt as though he was peering out from between the bars of a cage.

"What did you do to him?" Lucius asked Greyback. "How did he get into this state?"

"That wasn't us." Greyback said quickly.

"Looks more like a Stinging Jinx to me," said Lucius. His gray eyes raked Harry's forehead. "There's something there," he whispered. "It could be the scar, stretched tight…Draco, come here, look properly! What do you think?"

Harry saw Draco's face up close now, right beside his father's. He looked the same yet there was something different in his eyes. They looked hollow; incredibly similar to when Harry had first had a good look at him in the dungeons, it seemed like such a long time ago, in a different world even. Draco's expression was full of reluctance, even fear. Harry wanted to do something simple like tell him that everything would be okay, but he knew that he couldn't.

"I don't know," Draco said, and he walked away toward the fireplace where his mother stood watching.

"We must be certain, Lucius," Narcissa called to her husband in her cautious voice. "Completely certain that it is Potter, before we summon the Dark Lord ... They say this is his"—she was looking closely at the blackthorn wand—"but it does not resemble Ollivander's description. . . . If we are mistaken, if we call the Dark Lord here for nothing . . . Remember what he did to Rowle and Dolohov?" Harry noted that this was the most he had ever heard Narcissa Malfoy speak, the most he had ever heard that she spoke from Draco.

"What about the Mudblood, then?" growled Greyback. Harry was nearly thrown off his feet as the Snatchers forced the prisoners to swivel around again, so that the light fell on Hermione instead.

"Wait," said Narcissa sharply. "Yes—yes, she was in Madam Malkin's with Potter! I saw her picture in the _Prophet_! Look, Draco, isn't it the Granger girl?"

Draco looked at Hermione. His eyes were met with a brown pair that looked at him with fear, hatred and…pleading.

"I ... maybe ... yeah." Draco said, looking at the ground.

"But then, that's the Weasley boy!" shouted Lucius, striding around the bound prisoners to face Ron. "It's them, Potter's friends—Draco, look at him, isn't it Arthur Weasley's son, what's his name—?"

"Yeah," said Draco again, his back to the prisoners. "It could be." He wanted this to end. His mind powering into overdrive as he desperately tried to think of a way for Harry to escape.

_You stupid idiot,_ Draco thought angrily, _I told you this was the most dangerous place for you to be. How could you let yourself get caught? How?! What the fuck are you supposed to do now? _

The drawing room door opened behind Harry. A woman spoke, and the sound of the voice wound Harry's fear to an even higher pitch. Draco almost literally saw his life become even unkinder.

"What is this? What's happened, Cissy?"

Bellatrix Lestrange walked slowly around the prisoners, and stopped on Harry's right, staring at Hermione through her heavily lidded eyes.

"But surely," she said quietly, "This is the Mudblood girl? This is Granger?"

"Yes, yes, it's Granger!" cried Lucius, "And beside her, we think, Potter! Potter and his friends, caught at last!"

"Potter?" shrieked Bellatrix, and she backed away, the better to take in Harry. "Are you sure? Well then, the Dark Lord must be informed at once!"

She dragged back her left sleeve: Harry saw the Dark Mark burned into the flesh of her arm, and knew that she was about to touch it, to summon her beloved master—

"I was about to call him!" said Lucius, and his hand actually closed upon Bellatrix's wrist, preventing her from touching the Mark. "I shall summon him, Bella. Potter has been brought to my house, and it is therefore upon my authority—"

"Your authority!" she sneered, attempting to wrench her hand from his grasp. "You lost your authority when you lost your wand, Lucius! How dare you! Take your hands off me!"

"This is nothing to do with you, you did not capture the boy—"

If the situation Harry was in weren't so grave and serious he would have thought the family bickering to be quite amusing.

"Begging your pardon, Mr. Malfoy," interjected Greyback, "but it's us that caught Potter, and it's us that'll be claiming the gold—"

"Gold!" laughed Bellatrix, still attempting to throw off her brother-in-law, her free hand groping in her pocket for her wand. "Take your gold, filthy scavenger, what do I want with gold? I seek only the honor of his—of—"

She stopped struggling, her dark eyes fixed upon something Harry could not see. Jubilant at her capitulation, Lucius threw her hand from him and ripped up his own sleeve—

"STOP!" shrieked Bellatrix, "Do not touch it, we shall all perish if the Dark Lord comes now!" Lucius froze, his index finger hovering over his own Mark. Bellatrix strode out of Harry's limited line of vision. "What is that?" he heard her say. "Sword," grunted an out-of-sight Snatcher. "Give it to me."

"It's not yours, missus, it's mine, I reckon I found it."

There was a bang and a flash of red light; Harry knew that the Snatcher had been Stunned. There was a roar of anger from his fellows: Scabior drew his wand.

"What d'you think you're playing at, woman?"

"Stupefy!" she screamed, "Stupefy!" They were no match for her, even thought there were four of them against one of her: She was a witch, as Harry knew, with impressive skill and no conscience. They fell where they stood, all except Greyback, who had been forced into a kneeling position, his arms outstretched. Out of the corners of his eyes Harry saw Bellatrix bearing down upon the werewolf, the sword of Gryffindor gripped tightly in her hand, her face waxen.

"Where did you get this sword?" she whispered to Greyback as she pulled his wand out of his unresisting grip.

"How dare you?" he snarled, his mouth the only thing that could move as he was forced to gaze up at her. He bared his pointed teeth. "Release me, woman!"

"Where did you find this sword?" she repeated, brandishing it in his face, "Snape sent it to my vault in Gringotts!"

"It was in their tent," rasped Greyback. "Release me, I say!"

She waved her wand, and the werewolf sprang to his feet, but appeared too wary to approach her. He prowled behind an armchair, his filthy curved nails clutching its back. "Draco, move this scum outside," said Bellatrix, indicating the unconscious men. "If you haven't got the guts to finish them, then leave them in the courtyard for me."

"Don't you dare speak to Draco like—" said Narcissa furiously, but Bellatrix screamed.

"Be quiet! The situation is graver than you can possibly imagine, Cissy! We have a very serious problem!"

She stood, panting slightly, looking down at the sword, examining its hilt. Then she turned to look at the silent prisoners.

"If it is indeed Potter, he must not be harmed," she muttered, more to herself than to the others. "The Dark Lord wishes to dispose of Potter himself... But if he finds out ... I must ... I must know…"

She turned back to her sister again.

"The prisoners must be placed in the cellar, while I think what to do!"

"This _our_ my house, Bella, you don't give orders in my—"

"Do it! You have no idea of the danger we're in!" shrieked Bellatrix. She looked frightening, mad; a thin stream of fire issued from her wand and burned a hole in the carpet.

Narcissa hesitated for a moment and then addressed the werewolf. "Take these prisoners down to the cellar, Greyback. Wait," said Bellatrix sharply. "All except. . . . except for the Mudblood." Greyback gave a grunt of pleasure.

"No!" shouted Ron. "You can have me, keep me!" Bellatrix hit him across the face: the blow echoed around the room.

"If she dies under questioning, I'll take you next," she said. "Blood traitor is next to Mudblood in my book. But…no. I think I'll take Potter next. He might be able to give us some answers if this filth cannot. Take them down- stairs, Greyback, and make sure they are secure, but do nothing more to them—yet."

She threw Greyback's wand back to him and then took a short silver knife from under her robes. She cut Hermione free from the other prisoners, then dragged her by the hair into the middle of the room, while Greyback forced the rest of them to shuffle across to another door, into a dark passageway, his wand held out in front of him, projecting an invisible and irresistible force.

"Reckon she'll let me have a bit of the girl when she's finished with her?" Greyback crooned as he forced them along the corridor. "I'd say I'll get a bite or two, wouldn't you, ginger?"

Back upstairs Draco had returned from the courtyard. He had had no interest in killing. Upon entering the large room he found his aunty, Bellatrix, poking her wand into Hermione Granger's neck. He froze.

"How did the sword come to be in your possession?" she snarled. Both women frightened, though for completely different reasons.

"I don't know," Hermione said, looking her in the eye, shaking.

"Lies!" Bellatrix hissed. Taking the dagger from her pocket she cut into Hermione's skin. _Mudblood_. The skin sliced open, blood seeped through.

Hermione screamed.

Draco flinched at the sight of the crimson blood dripping down the girl's arm. A rather random thought crossed his mind: her blood looked no different to his when he had cut himself.

"HERMIONE!" Draco heard Ron bellow from bellow. "HERMIONE!"

"Listen to me girly," Bellatrix said in a dangerous, threatening voice, her mouth next to Hermione's ear, "Where did you get this sword? Tell the truth, you dirty little whore!"

"It's not ours!" Hermione cried desperately, tears streaming down her face. "I swear it's not ours!"

"I know that you insolent little brat! Tell me how you got it before I cut your tongue and make it impossible!"

"We didn't take it! Please! We found it! We found—_STOP!" _Bellatrix re-etched the words that were carved into Hermione's arm. She dug the blade deep into her limb, causing the girl to scream. Hermione desperately thrashed around, trying to escape, but Bellatrix's hold was much to firm on her.

"HERMIONE! HERMIONE!" Ron shouted again. Draco could hear the sound of the bars being shaken. It was pointless, he thought, no one could escape that cell.

"I am going to give you one more chance before I set your filthy bones on fire with the Cruciatus curse, do you hear me?!" Bellatrix warned. Draco had the urge to shout out, 'Just tell her!' but he held his tongue. He stood in front of the unlit fireplace and watched, horrified. Astoria was upstairs; he knew that she could hear what was happening. Hermione whimpered as Bellatrix shouted, "Tell me how you got the sword?"

"Please st—stop!" Hermione begged. "Please don't, please— no please _NO_!"

"_Crucio!_" Bellatrix screeched. Her eyes shone with a mad glint. Hermione's back arched up from the floor, her head curved back and her high-pitched scream echoed off the walls, rebounding the pain. "I warned you! _Crucio!_"

Ron's cries were not heard over Hermione's shrieks. Hermione had never felt a pain like it. It nestled in her bones and spread like it could penetrate anything. It set her every nerve on fire like it was ripping off each fiber bit by bit. All she could do was close her eyes and scream and struggle and pray for the will to stay strong. She prayed not to break.

Suddenly the pain miraculously stopped and Hermione was left panting and weak. She had forgotten what it had felt like to not feel the pain, as it had taken over her every drawing cell.

"I'm going to ask you again! Where did you get this sword?" Bellatrix asked. "Where? And if I don't get the answer I'm looking for…" she cut through Hermione's arm again. Hermione sobbed, tears slipping out of her eyes and falling down her temples into her hair. Everything _hurt_. "Bring me Potter!"

"We found it—we found it—PLEASE!" Hermione screamed.

"Wrong answer," Bellatrix snarled evilly, "_CRUCIO_!"

It was as if the spell drew the scream from her because it escaped Hermione's mouth automatically sans effort. Draco realised that his aunty had been talking to _him_. Draco quickly hurried down to the cell where he knew Harry was being kept.

He took his wand out as he reached the door with the metal bars. "Try anything and I shall ensure you will not have any hands left to try with." Draco warned. "Potter, come here where I can see you."

Draco heard muttering from within the cell but could not make out words. Harry desperately took out the mirror from his pouch and upon seeing a glimpse at an ice-blue eye he whispered, "Help us! We're at the Malfoy Manor!"

"The longer you take the longer the Mudblood gets tortured," Draco called out into the darkness.

He made out Ron and Harry's faces through squinted eyes. Ron came at him, "You son of a bitch! Don't you—"

Draco pointed his wand in Ron's face. "Get away from me you indecent blood traitor," he spat. "I won't hesitate to send you the same way as your pathetic little M— slut." Draco had gone to say Mudblood, but he recalled when Harry had made him promise to never call Hermione that again.

Ron had been about to lash out at Draco but Harry stopped him. "Ron, Don't. Just hurry up and take me, Malfoy." Harry's face was no longer swollen. His expression was tight as Draco waved his wand and ropes tied Harry's wrists together.

"Don't make me hex you backwards, Weasel." Draco sneered. Ron, thinking of Hermione, left the door and went deeper into the cell without a word. Draco pulled Harry out, holding onto him tightly, and locked the cell door. "Go on, Potter." Draco motioned towards the stairs. As they slowly walked up, Draco asked, "Some grand plan of escape you must have conjured in the back of your Gryffindor skull, yes?"

Harry glared at him. "No."

Draco stopped them and turned Harry around to face him. Harry was worried that Draco would kiss him; he had told him that they were over. He stood there rigidly awaiting Draco's next move.

Draco curled his fingers into a fist punched Harry hard in the jaw. "That's for being stupid enough to come here, you daft, imprudent dickhead." Draco hissed as Harry reeled backwards, Draco reached out to hold him steady. Harry thought about how that would definitely bruise quiet badly.

Draco then slapped his other cheek. Twice.

"Stop it!" Harry growled. "Bastard!"

Draco's upper lip curled into a snarl, a deadly tone as his voice, "You foolish, arrogant, reckless, unintelligent, clueless, insane, idiotic, suicidal, life-endangering, time-wasting, ugly, dumb, unwise twat. What the _fuck _is your problem? Why are you acting so fucking _stupid_?"

"I'm not ugly," Harry hissed back as they walked down the hallway.

"You are the ugliest fucking thing I have ever seen. Every time I see your face in the _Prophet_ I burn it."

"I'm in the _Prophet_?" Harry asked, taken off guard.

"Yes. Because you're a stupid wanker who constantly puts his life at risk because you lack the ability to _think_." Draco snapped.

They were about to enter the drawing room but Draco stopped. He slapped Harry again; it burned against Harry's already sensitive cheek. Harry hissed in pain.

"I hate you." Draco breathed. Harry looked into his eyes and Draco's bottom lip trembled, but he regained himself. "If you had never come into my life I wouldn't be like this."

It was true. Draco hated the way Harry made him feel: confused and upset. If Harry had never come into Draco's life, Draco would not be so distraught and troubled and wounded over the recent events that had taken place.

Harry never had time to answer as he was pushed into the drawing room.

"Ah, here comes noble Harry Potter," Bellatrix smiled in a sickening way. She pushed her heavy hair behind her ear. Harry's eyes fell to Hermione as she lay unconscious on the floor.

"What have you done to her?!" Harry screamed in terror.

"Draco, sweetheart, come here." Draco cautiously walked over to his aunty. "See Potter, your filthy little Mudblood friend wouldn't talk so I had to make her hurt a little." Harry quivered with anger and Bellatrix laughed. "You're in luck Potter," she cocked her head to the side, "or maybe not so lucky. That won't be necessary with you. You'll be much, much easier to convince to speak, because I won't need a spell to cause pain."

In one swift motion she pulled a shocked Draco towards her and held the knife, dirty with Hermione's blood, against his neck.

Harry froze.

"What are you doing?" Draco asked her, panicking, his eyes searching the room in fear. His mother had gone upstairs to take Astoria home and Lucius was absent from the room. It was just Bellatrix, in all her instability, with a knife pushed up against her Draco's throat.

"You wouldn't," Harry said, "not your own nephew."

"Would you risk it though?" Bellatrix giggled. "Would you play with his life…like the way you play with him?" she gave a dirty, little smirk. "Why Harry, I thought you loved him." She battered her eyelashes at him. Draco shuddered in her grip.

"I don't love him!" Harry snapped. "He used me!"

Bellatrix pressed the knife deeper and beads of crimson formed on his pale neck. Draco knew it was illogical but the thought of Hermione's blood mingling with his made him nauseous and he hissed at the thought and the pain.

"Don't!" Harry shouted involuntarily.

Bellatrix laughed. "He may have used you but he fucked you and no one ever forgets that, you love him!" She was angry now. She was done with playing and she wanted answers, and fast. "Where did you get the sword?"

"We found it!" Harry said frantically.

"Don't insult me, Potter." She spat. "Tell me the truth or I swear I shall run your precious boyfriend through with this knife!"

"We found it in the woods," Harry's veins were pumping pure fear, he didn't know how to escape and he was frightened, "where we were camping. It's the truth!" He didn't have a wand and his hands were tied, Hermione was lying unconscious on the floor and he had no idea what to do or say; he felt helpless.

"You're lying, filthy half-blood, and I know it! You have been inside my vault at Gringotts! Tell the truth, tell the truth!"

She ran the knife deeper into Draco's neck and Harry wasn't sure if he was socked because she would do that to her own family or because of the thin stream of blood that trickled down Draco's neck.

"Stop it!" Harry shouted. "We haven't been inside your vault! I promise!"

Frustrated, Bellatrix pushed Draco off of her, apparently comprehending that she could do no more damage to what wasn't hers and pointed her wand at Hermione.

"CRUCIO!" Hermione's eyes flew open and then rolled into the back of her head. Bellatrix didn't need to be holding Hermione down because Hermione wasn't going anywhere. She twitched on the ground and her scream shot through Harry like physical pain.

"STOP IT!" Harry screamed at the witch. "Fucking leave her alone! God dammit stop!" Harry heard Ron calling out Hermione's name from bellow.

"What else did you take? What else have you got? Tell me the truth, Potter or, I swear, I shall make her lose worthless mind!" Bellatrix screeched madly.

"We didn't take anything!" Hermione sobbed, gasping for air at this interval. "Pl—please stop! Please! No, HARRY!"

"What else did you take, what else? ANSWER ME! CRUCIO! "

Tears spilt over Harry's eyes as he watched his friend be tortured in front of him and he couldn't do anything. His hands were bound, he was wandless and now Lucius Malfoy (who had a wand) was now in the room.

"How did you get into my vault?" Bellatrix screamed. "Did that dirty little goblin in the cellar help you?"

"We only met him tonight!" Harry cried. "We've never been inside your vault, you fucking bitch!" Bellatrix stopped and turned give Harry a lethal look.

"It isn't the real sword! It's a copy, just a copy!" Hermione choked out. She was trembling from head to toe and she was as white as a sheet. Harry stared in shock at the fact Hermione could even put together a sentence let alone think of a clever lie. "It's fake!"

"A copy?" screeched Bellatrix. "Oh, a likely story!"

"But we can find out easily!" came Lucius's voice. "Draco, fetch the goblin, he can tell us whether the sword is real or not!"

Harry was shocked into silence because of two things: First, that Lucius had not commented on the blood staining his son's neck; and second, the burning pain in his scar that shot through him worse that ever. Suddenly, he looked down, not upon the scene in the Maloy Manor, but on another man who was old, thin, but laughing scornfully.

"Kill me, then. Voldemort, I welcome death! But my death will not bring you what you seek...there is so much you do not understand…"

He felt Voldemort's fury, but as Hermione screamed again he shut it out, returning to the cellar and the horror of his own present.

There was a loud crack.

"What was that?" shouted Lucius Malfoy from over their heads. "Did you hear that? What was that noise in the cellar?"

Narcissa seemed to have entered the room while Harry was looking into Voldemort's mind. She stopped her son, "Draco—no, call Wormtail! Make him go and check!"

Harry knew that the people in the drawing room were listening for more noises from the cellar as the room fell quite. Harry too was curious as to what was happening down below.

There was thud from the cellar.

"What is it, Wormtail?" Lucius Malfoy called out.

"Nothing!" Wormtail called back from bellow.

Harry frowned at the tone of voice and looked around to see if anyone else had noticed it too. There was no sight of a confused reaction.

Griphook entered the drawing room, he was holding Gryffindor's sword in his long-fingered hands. Hermione was lying at Bellatrix's feet. She was barely stirring.

"Well?" Bellatrix said to Griphook. "Is it the true sword?"

Harry waited, holding his breath, fighting against the prickling of his scar.

"No," said Griphook. "It is a fake."

"Are you sure?" panted Bellatrix. "Quite sure?"

"Yes," said the goblin. Relief broke across her face, all tension drained from it. "Good," she said, and with a casual flick of her wand she slashed another deep cut into the goblin's face, and he dropped with a yell at her feet. She kicked him aside. "And now," she said in a voice that burst with triumph, "we call the Dark Lord!"

And she pushed back her sleeve and touched her forefinger to the Dark Mark.

At once, Harry's scar felt as though it had split open again. He fell to his knees and cried out. His true surroundings vanished: He was Voldemort, and the skeletal wizard before him was laughing toothlessly at him; he was enraged at the summons he felt—he had warned them, he had told them to summon him for nothing less than Potter. If they were mistaken . . .

"Kill me, then!" demanded the old man. "You will not win, you cannot win! That wand will never, ever be yours—"

And Voldemort's fury broke: A burst of green light filled the prison room and the frail old body was lifted from its hard bed and then fell back, lifeless, and Voldemort returned to the window, his wrath barely controllable. . . . They would suffer his retribution if they had no good reason for calling him back. . . .

"And I think," said Bellatrix's voice, "we can dispose of the Mudblood. Greyback, take her if you want her."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Ron had burst into the drawing room; Bellatrix looked around, shocked; she turned her wand to face Ron instead—

"Expelliarmus!" he roared, pointing Wormtail's wand at Bellatrix, and hers flew into the air and was caught by Harry, who had sprinted after Ron. Lucius, Narcissa, Draco and Greyback wheeled about; Harry yelled, "Stupefy!" and Lucius Malfoy collapsed onto the hearth. Ron through a lucky spell aimed for Harry's wrists and the Gryffindor was free of his bindings. Jets of light flew from Draco's, Narcissa's, and Greyback's wands; Harry threw himself to the floor, rolling behind a sofa to avoid them.

"STOP OR SHE DIES!"

Panting, Harry peered around the edge of the sofa. Bellatrix was supporting Hermione, who seemed to be unconscious again, and was holding her short silver knife to Hermione's throat.

"Drop your wands," she whispered. "Drop them, or we'll see exactly how filthy her blood is!"

Ron stood rigid, clutching Wormtail's wand. Harry straightened up, still holding Bellatrix's.

"I said, drop them!" she screeched, pressing the blade into Hermione's throat: Harry saw beads of blood appear there.

"All right!" he shouted, and he dropped Bellatrix's wand onto the floor at his feet, Ron did the same with Wormtail's. Both raised their hands to shoulder height.

"Good!" she leered. "Draco, pick them up! The Dark Lord is coming, Harry Potter! Your death approaches!" Harry knew it; his scar was bursting with the pain of it, and he could feel Voldemort flying through the sky from far away, over a dark and stormy sea, and soon he would be close enough to Apparate to them, and Harry could see no way out. Harry's eyes found Draco's; Draco's eyes found Harry's. Draco saw that Harry could see no way out and his mouth drew into a hard line, shaking his head unnoticeably. They promised, they swore, never to give up. He prayed Harry would remember it.

"Now," said Bellatrix softly, as Draco hurried back to her with the wands. "Cissy, I think we ought to tie these little heroes up again, while Greyback takes care of Miss Mudblood. I am sure the Dark Lord will not begrudge you the girl, Greyback, after what you have done tonight."

At the last word there was a peculiar grinding noise from above. All of them looked upward in time to see the crystal chandelier tremble; then, with a creak and an ominous jingling, it began to fall. Bellatrix was directly beneath it; dropping Hermione, she threw herself aside with a scream. The chandelier crashed to the floor in an explosion of crystal and chains, falling on top of Hermione and the goblin, who still clutched the sword of Gryffindor. Glittering shards of crystal flew in all directions; Draco doubled over, his hands covering his bloody face.

As Ron ran to pull Hermione out of the wreckage, Harry took the chance: He leapt over an armchair and wrested the three wands from Draco's grip, his eyes looking at the blood on the Slytherin's beautiful face. Their eyes met for a brief moment and Draco's grip slackened, allowing Harry to snatch the wands and point all of them at Greyback.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Draco was glad that his mother had taken Astoria home; he didn't want her around when Voldemort was livid in his house. Draco had run upstairs to fix his own cuts and did not dare go back down stairs.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry was a godfather. He smiled. He smiled and he meant the smile. His smile stayed a lot longer because, absentmindedly, he thought of, maybe, just maybe, when Harry looked after Teddy, Draco would help look after him too.

Like parents.

Like a family.

That's why his smile was so real.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Draco was going sent back to school. He almost cried with relief. "Thank Merlin you got out of the Manor," Draco told Astoria while they sat in their common room.

"Thank Merlin you're alive," she said.

"I won't die," he said to her. He ignored her sceptical scoff; he knew he was right. The universe wouldn't let him die.

Because dying would be far too easy.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

The whole school was buzzing with it: Harry Potter broke into Gringotts. It was strange to hear the whispers again, as Hogwarts had now become such a silent and sad place. Things were different, more so than before. Something was coming. Draco could feel it.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry was back at Hogwarts. He was back. He saw everyone gathered in the Room of Requirement and he felt something rise within him. It pressed on his chest, created a lump in his throat, a buzz in his veins, his heart rate in crease.

They were going to fight.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Ginny embraced him before he left to go to Ravenclaw Tower with Luna. "I've been so worried," she whispered, tears in her eyes.

"I know," Harry said, squeezing her tighter, "I'm sorry."

"Go," she nodded, waving him off. "You've got the world to save."

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Draco woke up to frantic Slytherins. "What the hell is going on?" he asked Pansy, after he quickly walked out of his dorm.

"Potter's here," she said, pulling some clothes on.

"Harry?" Draco asked, taken off guard, as it was night time.

"Obviously," Pansy rolled her eyes.

"He can't be," Draco said as they began walking towards the door to leave the common room, following the crowd of people, "he will be caught."

"Well he's never been the shiniest scale on a dragon's hide has he now?" Pansy deadpanned.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

The Battle of Hogwarts.

Harry doesn't realise that students will later on be studying this in the years to come from their textbooks. He doesn't realise that he will be invited back to Hogwarts to give talks on this day. He doesn't realise just how many will die.

He realises the unity. The family here. Everyone gathered to _fight_. He realises how much he loves the people who have come here to make things right. He realises that it's time. It's time to finish what was started all those years ago. He realises that it's coming to an end. He's been on such a long journey and now he has to set things right before he can cross the finish line. He realises that the things that are important are love and friendship and good-heartedness. He realises the dangers. He realises the odds. He realises that it's going to be hard. He realises that he's scared and that that's okay. He realises that he's nervous and that's okay too because it means that this is important to him. He realises that he's given a lot, but he's got to give a bit more to be able to get. He realises that he's waited a long time for this. He realises that many, many people are counting on him. It's a big load to carry but he knows that he doesn't have to carry all of it by himself and that makes it that little bit easy. He realises…he thinks…that he really is a Gryffindor, brave and chivalrous. And he hopes – hopes that his parents are with him tonight, that he'll make them proud.

He understands this. And it's clear. And he's ready.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"Go and find the Mudblood and Weasley," Draco told Crabbe and Goyle, "I'll handle Potter."

Crabbe and Goyle did as they were told. Harry wished he could give Ron and Hermione some warning, though he wasn't sure they needed it considering the opposition.

"That's my wand you're holding, Potter," said Malfoy, pointing at his own through.

"Now where have I heard _that_ before?" Harry asked, wondering how he could be teasing at a time like this. He tightened his grip on the hawthorn wand. "Winners, keepers, Malfoy. Who's lent you theirs?"

"My mother," said Draco.

Harry laughed, though there was nothing very humorous about the situation. He could not hear Ron or Hermione anymore. They seemed to have run out of earshot, searching for the diadem.

"Nice," Harry snorted, "Finally being a mother, is she?"

Draco didn't reply.

"Why aren't you with Voldemort?" Harry asked.

"The three of us decided to stay back. We were going to bring you to him." Draco said.

"Good plan," said Harry in mock admiration. "Nice to see things have changed."

Draco winced at that. "Sorry," Harry said quietly. Draco shrugged, brushing it off.

Harry's eyes looked up toward the place where the Horcrux sat lopsided upon the bust. If he could just get his hands on it…

"Why do you keep looking up there?" Draco asked curiously.

"No reason in particular. So how did you get in here?" he asked, trying to distract them.

"I virtually lived in the Room of Requirement last year," said Malfoy, Harry noticing an underside of teasing to it also. "I know how to get it to do what I want…I know how to get a lot of things to do what I want."

"Oh I don't doubt it," Harry replied. He thought about how they were now. They both felt safe around each other and trusted each other. But it was uncomfortable. Like an elephant in the room.

"Harry?" Ron's voice echoed suddenly from the other side of the wall to Harry's right. "Are you talking to someone?"

With a whip-like movement, Crabbe pointed his wand at the fifty foot mountain of old furniture, of broken trunks, of old books and robes and unidentifiable junk, and shouted, "Descendo!" Harry didn't even know where he had come from.

The wall began to totter, then the top third crumbled into the aisle next door where Ron stood.

"Ron!" Harry bellowed, as somewhere out of sight Hermione screamed, and Harry heard innumerable objects crashing to the floor on the other side of the destabilized wall: He pointed his wand at the rampart, cried, "Finite!" and it steadied.

"No!" shouted Draco, staying Crabbe's arm as the latter made to repeat his spell. "If you wreck the room you might bury this diadem thing!"

"What's that matter?" said Crabbe, tugging himself free. "It's Potter the Dark Lord wants, who cares about a die-dum?"

"Potter came in here to get it," said Draco with ill-disguised impatience at the slow-wittedness of his colleagues. "So that must mean it has come importance!

"Harry?" shouted Ron again, from the other side of the junk wad. "What's going on?"

"Harry?" mimicked Crabbe. "What's going on — no, Potter! Crucio!"

Harry had lunged for the tiara; Crabbe's curse missed him but hit the stone bust, which flew into the air; the diadem soared up- ward and then dropped out of sight in the mass of objects on which the bust had rested.

"STOP!" Draco shouted at Crabbe, his voice echoing through the enormous room. "The Dark Lord wants him alive—"

"So? I'm not killing him, am I?" yelled Crabbe, throwing off Malfoy's restraining arm. "But if I can, I will, the Dark Lord wants him dead anyway, what's the diff—?"

A jet of scarlet light shot past Harry by inches: Hermione had run around the corner behind him and sent a Stunning Spell straight at Crabbe's head. It only missed because Draco pulled him out of the way.

"It's that Mudblood! Avada Kedavra!"

Harry saw Hermione dive aside, and his fury that Crabbe had aimed to kill wiped all else from his mind. He shot a Stunning Spell at Crabbe, who lurched out of the way, knocking Draco's wand out of his hand; it rolled out of sight beneath a mountain of broken furniture and bones.

"Don't kill him! DON'T KILL HIM!" Draco yelled at Crabbe and Goyle in panic, who were both aiming at Harry: Their split second's hesitation was all Harry needed.

"Expelliarmus!"

Goyle's wand flew out of his hand and disappeared into the bulwark of objects beside him; Goyle leapt foolishly on the spot, trying to retrieve it; Draco jumped out of range of Hermione's second Stunning Spell, and Ron, appearing suddenly at the end of the aisle, shot a full Body-Bind Curse at Crabbe, which narrowly missed.

Crabbe wheeled around and screamed, "Avada Kedavra!" again. Ron leapt out of sight to avoid the jet of green light. The wandless Draco cowered behind a three-legged wardrobe as Hermione charged toward them, hitting Goyle with a Stunning Spell as she came.

"It's somewhere here!" Harry yelled at her, pointing at the pile of junk into which the old tiara had fallen. "Look for it while I go and help R—"

"HARRY!" she screamed.

A roaring, billowing noise behind him gave him a moment's warning. He turned and saw both Ron and Crabbe running as hard as they could up the aisle toward them.

"Like it hot, scum?" roared Crabbe as he ran.

But he seemed to have no control over what he had done. Flames of abnormal size were pursuing them, licking up the sides of the junk bulwarks, which were crumbling to soot at their touch.

"Aguamenti!" Harry bawled, but the jet of water that soared from the tip of his wand evaporated in the air.

"RUN!"

Draco grabbed the Stunned Goyle and dragged him along; Crabbe outstripped all of them, now looking terrified; Harry, Ron, and Hermione pelted along in his wake, and the fire pursued them. It was not normal fire; Crabbe had used a curse of which Harry had no knowledge. Harry kept his mind focused but his eyes reflexively looked around to see if Draco was safe. As they turned a corner the flames chased them as though they were alive, sentient, intent upon killing them. Now the fire was mutating, forming a gigantic pack of fiery beasts: Flaming serpents, chimaeras, and dragons rose and fell and rose again, and the detritus of centuries on which they were feeding was thrown up into the air into their fanged mouths, tossed high on clawed feet, before being consumed by the inferno.

Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle had vanished from view: Harry, Ron and Hermione stopped dead; the fiery monsters were circling them, drawing closer and closer, claws and horns and tails lashed, and the heat was solid as a wall around them.

"What can we do?" Hermione screamed over the deafening roars of the fire. "What can we do?"

"Here!"

Harry seized a pair of heavy-looking broomsticks from the nearest pile of junk and threw one to Ron, who pulled Hermione onto it behind him. Harry swung his leg over the second broom and, with hard kicks to the ground, they soared up in the air, missing by feet the horned beak of a flaming raptor that snapped its jaws at them. The smoke and heat were becoming overwhelming: Below them the cursed fire was consuming the contraband of generations of hunted students, the guilty outcomes of a thousand banned experiments, the secrets of the countless souls who had sought refuge in the room. Harry could not see a trace of Draco, Crabbe, or Goyle anywhere. Draco had to be someone, he had to. He swooped as low as he dare over the marauding monsters of flame to try to find him, but there was nothing but fire: What a terrible way to die…He had never wanted this– No! He couldn't think like that. He couldn't! Draco had to be here. He couldn't go, couldn't die. It was impossible…

_Please don't be dead_, Harry thought desperately.

"Harry, let's get out, let's get out!" bellowed Ron, though it was impossible to see where the door was through the black smoke.

And then Harry heard a thin, piteous human scream from amidst the terrible commotion, the thunder of devouring flame.

"It's—too—dangerous—!" Ron yelled, but Harry wheeled in the air. He wasn't leaving this room without Draco. His glasses giving his eyes some small protection from the smoke, he raked the firestorm below, seeking a sign of life, a limb or a face that was not yet charred like wood…

And he saw them: Draco with his arms around the unconscious Goyle, the pair of them perched on a fragile tower of charred desks, and Harry dived. Draco saw him coming and raised one arm, but even as Harry grasped it he knew at once that it was no good. Goyle was too heavy and Malfoy's hand, covered in sweat, slid instantly out of Harry's—

"IF WE DIE FOR THEM, I'LL KILL YOU, HARRY!" roared Ron's voice, and, as a great flaming chimaera bore down upon them, he and Hermione dragged Goyle onto their broom and rose, rolling and pitching, into the air once more as Draco clambered up behind Harry. But what Ron didn't understand was that was okay, it was okay if Harry died, as long as Draco lived.

"The door, get to the door, the door!" screamed Draco in Harry's ear, and Harry sped up, following Ron, Hermione, and Goyle through the billowing black smoke, hardly able to breathe: and all around them the last few objects unburned by the devouring flames were flung into the air, as the creatures of the cursed fire cast them high in celebration: cups and shields, a sparkling necklace, and an old, discolored tiara—

"What are you doing, what are you doing, the door's that way!" Draco screamed, but Harry made a hairpin swerve and dived. The diadem seemed to fall in slow motion, turning and glittering as it dropped toward the maw of a yawning serpent, and then he had it, caught it around his wrist—

Harry swerved again as the serpent lunged at him; he soared upward and straight toward the place where, he prayed, the door stood open; Ron, Hermione and Goyle had vanished; Draco was holding Harry so tightly it hurt. Then, through the smoke, Harry saw a rectangular patch on the wall and steered the broom at it, and moments later clean air filled his lungs and they collided with the wall in the corridor beyond.

Draco fell off the broom and lay facedown, gasping, coughing, and retching. Harry rolled over and sat up: The door to the Room of Requirement had vanished. "You okay?" Harry coughed.

"Fine," Draco choked out. "Thank you…for coming back."

Harry gave him a nod. "You're welcome."

But what he really wanted to say was, 'You thought I would have left you?'

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

As Harry walked through the deserted corridor with the Cloak hiding him from sight, he truly accepted that he would die. It made him tremble and made his eyes well up with tears, but he was ready.

As he walked silently towards the doors leaving the castle he saw Draco. He didn't think that he would, didn't think that life would grant him one last glance at the many he loved. Yet there he was, sitting on a ruined staircase. He looked tired.

Harry thought about telling him, but too many people have already died for him tonight so he decided against it. He knew that Draco would hate him for it because he would have wanted his chance to say goodbye, his chance to stop him. s

"Bye sweetheart," Harry whispered thickly, lower lip quivering and a tear falling. "I'll see you again soon." He turned away and began to walk, Draco unaware of the final goodbye that had taken place. Harry stopped, unable to help it; he looked at Draco once more. "Thank you, for every moment we had. Stay safe. Smile. I love you."

Harry left, knowing that he would not be coming back.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Draco saw Harry in Hagrid's arms, lifeless. Dead.

"You see?" said Voldemort, and Harry felt him striding back- ward and forward right beside the place where he lay. "Harry Potter is dead!

A wave of heat rolled through him and suddenly nothing was tying him to the Earth anymore. So this was what it felt like to slip away.

"Oh please no.."

_Why was it not me instead?_

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry held onto Draco's wand, holding it tightly because it gave him strength.

"_Avada Kedavra!"_

"_Expelliarmus! "_

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Everyone rushed to touch him, to touch The Boy Who Lived. Screams and cried of victory and relief filled the Great Hall. Harry felt overwhelmed but was filled with a great sense of achievement and satisfaction; finally it was over – it was done.

After sitting down next to Ron and Hermione, amidst the celebrations, he decided there was only one person he needed to see.

"Ron, Hermione," he said quietly. They both turned their attention to him. "I need to go and see something. I don't know how long I'll be though. I'll see you later."

"Sure mate," Ron nodded. Hermione smiled sleepily at him as she leaned her head against Ron's shoulder.

Harry stood up and looked around the Great Hall, looking for one person in particular. He threw the cloak over himself discretely and walked over to the Slytherin table, trying his best not to bump into anyone. Arriving next to Draco, he bent lower and whispered in the blonde's ear, "Hi."

Draco almost screamed, if he had had the energy to in the first place. "It's just me," Harry said gently. Draco nodded slowly, swallowing and trying to lower his erratic heartbeat with deep breaths. "Can we talk?"

Draco stood up. He looked behind him at the empty spaced he hoped was Harry, and walked out of the Great Hall, Harry following him. He walked up the several staircases and corridors until he reached the seventh floor. Closing his eyes, he willed for the Room to appear and when he opened his eyes it was there. He reached for the handle and opened the door. He held it open and felt a small whoosh of air pass him as Harry entered the room. Draco closed the door and it locked shut.

He was met with a silence and he studied the room. It was small, smaller than it had ever been. It was big enough to have a fireplace, a small orange bed, a light above them, a chair, a bedside table and some space. It was quite cosy and petit.

Harry pulled the cloak off and draped it on the nearby chair. He turned to face Draco. They looked at each other.

"I think this belongs to you," Harry said quietly, handing Draco his wand.

Draco reached over and took the wand with numb hands. He looked at it, turning it in his hands, running his fingers over it. He placed it on the mantle of the fireplace. He squeezed his eyes shut. He was so confused. His cuts hurts and he had just been through the pain of knowing that Harry had been dead. He was tired. He couldn't have what he wanted, he wanted Harry. He wasn't allowed it; it had been ripped away from him. He opened his eyes.

"Why are you here?" He asked, his voice loud.

"Because I love you!" Harry burst out, equally as loud. Saying the words like they were the answer to the world's most simple equation.

Draco blinked. He didn't understand. "But…you left…you said…"

"I have always loved you, I never stopped! And I never will!" Harry said before taking a step forward and closing the gap between them that he decided would never be there again. He pressed his lips to Draco and it broke some sort of a spell between them. It was a passionate, long-awaited kiss. Harry pushed Draco's lips apart with his tongue and darted into his mouth. There was no battle for dominance because it was already decided. Slowly, slowly, clothes were removed and time was taken to appreciate every bit of self that each man had to offer. Draco removed the pocket watch that hung around Harry's neck, placing it delicately on the bedside table.

Harry crushed his lips against Draco's to muffle his cries when Harry moved into him. Hands desperately grappled around in search of something to hold. They held onto each other because that was all they really needed. Their hands trembled as they moved but there was no need to map out the planes of their bodies as they were already memorised. Shivering breaths ghosted over lips. Neither could remember anything: how they had come here, what had just taken place; nothing was important other than the present. They were falling; falling into a dream when they hadn't slept for months. They could finally touch. The thoughts that swirled inside their minds were pushed aside to deal with another day, they had so many a head of them after all. All those months of hurt and cold and sadness and pain were instantly replaced by a sense of peace.

And it was when Harry pushed into him just right that he breathed along his skin, "I'll go with you. Where ever you are, where ever you go, I'll be there." And that's all it took for Harry start kissing him again and decide to never stop.

They matched themselves up, touching: chest to chest, hand to hand, lips to lips, cheek to cheek, nose to nose, side by side…heart to heart…love to love. Touching each other in a way to make sure they remembered. Draco felt like he was sailing through a sea not caring where he was going, just knowing that anywhere would be okay right now. He couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from Harry's, which were filled with passion. So he just rubbed his nose against Harry's, planting soft, sweet butterfly kisses, and Harry seemed to understand.

Their hearts beat as one as they stirred closely. Feeling Harry move inside of him completely overwhelmed him and he was powerless to the wave of emotion that rose within him. He took in quick shallow breaths and trembled against Harry.

"I– I need…I need…I n–need…" Draco babbled.

"Shh," Harry hushed him, "it's okay baby, I know what you need."

And he did. Harry touched him and stroked him in all the right ways. The ways that he knew would make his love come undone beneath him. He worked to slowly open Draco up, who had closed himself off from love and sealed himself shut.

Draco felt like Harry had given him wings, like he could fly simply because Harry kissed him. He felt tenderly swathed in the faith that Harry had in him and it made him feel warm and loved and filled. There was nothing that he couldn't do.

It was raw as there bodies moved – skin on skin. The light burst behind their eyes and ecstasy burned through their veins. It was just the two of them, making love together.

Harry wanted to lift Draco up and take him away to a beautiful place where no harm could come to them and show him everything, give him everything.

"What do you need?" Draco breathed.

"You," Harry replied, "only you. That's all I'll ever need. You don't understand how–" Harry paused as a shudder ran through him, "ung, how you make me feel. I wish I could make you feel how you make me feel."

Draco brought his hip up to meet Harry's and he made a low keen in the back of his throat. "You do," he quivered, "all the time. The way you touch me… –oh Harry _there_, yes there– … you just _know_."

Harry kissed his temple. "I'm so sorry sweetheart," he whispered, "I'm so sorry for being away for so long. I missed you so much."

Draco ran his hands through Harry's drenched hair and smiled against his lips, "I forgive you."

And Harry just _needed_ him. Draco wrapped his legs tighter around Harry to bring them closer. Draco thought about all the times where it had been so hard. He had kept Harry in his heart, had dreamt about him, and it had made it easier.

As Draco pulled him closer Harry said, "I can't get enough of you. I'll always want you, all the time."

"Take me," Draco said, "Oh God Harry, take me."

And Harry did take him, took him slowly and intimately. The slow movements felt so right. They didn't rush. They savoured the feeling that they had parted with for so long. Harry was so lucky to be home.

Draco gave his body and he gave his soul. He looked over at the locked door and thought about the world they had left outside. They were giving themselves to each other but that was enough. Every breath that he took was the other man, every move. He gave everything; and was given everything in return.

"I love you," Harry choked out. He needed to say what was in his heart, had to say it face to face. He wanted Draco to have everything, to have his life so they could share it.

Harry ran his fingers along Draco's chest and arms and legs, slowly feeding the life back into him. It was amazing, he watched it happen, watched the light come back into Draco eyes. He felt a sense of pride and satisfaction, being able to heal him.

They just forget everything. Where, how, when, why – nothing mattered. Nothing. Why did it ever? Everything was good. Everything was right. Everything was the serene time in life. Everything was the rush that came with a simple smile. Everything was peaceful and equal. Everything was not what they were told but what they believed in. Everything was just you and me…and what else was there other than that?

What else could there possibly be when Draco felt Harry's breath on his face? What else was there when Harry's body was so close to Draco's? What else was there other than that look in their eyes? Green and Grey. That was how it was always meant to be.

The room was filled with the sounds of their love making: slow exhales and sharp inhales, moans and whines, groans and cries, words that didn't even make sense but they explained everything perfectly.

"I love you," Harry said, his mouth speaking without his mind thinking, "I love you. I love you. Having sex with you is just…"

"Mmm," Draco responded, so far gone that words were beyond him.

"Don't cry," Harry murmured, kissing the tears away.

Draco didn't even realise that he was crying. They were tears of pain, tears of happiness, and knowing that nothing could destroy the way he felt. They were one, finally. They had been reunited.

Harry's mind reeled as he choked on pleasure. Sugar melting, sweet and hot. A dove flying pure and pale; freedom and peace. A shoreline that washed in the beauty that the ocean spat out. Fire, beginning with a spark and then igniting onto a magnificent wall of flame and heat and passion. The moon and the sun that had taken it in turn, moved around so many times, waiting, now was the time. Two strings of different colours, red and green, entwining into a thick, unbreakable rope. Two platforms, levels, brought down to one ground where lovers walk in the sunset. The shell of a bad memory, washed away, replaced with the lights that lead the lost home. Chasing away the shadows with the radiance that they emitted. Finding the reason, hearing the voice, feeling with heart, enwrapped in love. No energy, yet there was energy enough for this.

They had started and there had been no end yet. Laying next to each other, in each other. No hiding, simply feeling. Tasting kisses. Seeing into the depths of eyes. Taking hands. Whispering words. Finding. Forgetting the world. Only needing the other to complete anything that was incomplete. Soaring beyond the limitations and boundaries that they knew. Placing arms around each other, surrounding. Hearts beat harder as time did not have a meaning, did not have room in this continuous moment, this endless moment. Flashes of times behind eyes that clouded everything else deemed unimportant.

"What is it like to die?" Draco asked hoarsely, licking into Harry's mouth while he was thrust into.

"I can't really tell you what it feels like," Harry responded. "I can't explain it." He bit and licked the skin of Draco's neck, adding marks to the already bruised and cut flesh. Draco was painted and colourful like a canvas; Harry was the artist that permanently marked his life with eternal ink. "What was it like to see me dead?" Harry asked.

Draco's back arced up as Harry hit the spot of nerves inside of him. "I can't explain it," Draco breathed heavily, replying honestly, "but I would not wish it upon my worst enemy." This time when Harry hit that spot again, Draco cried out. Harry wanted to make him forget how it had felt. It had taken so long to feel like this, to feel right. Sometimes the wait had seemed almost unbearable.

"Let go," Harry breathed into the shell of Draco's ear, "let it go."

And he did let go, all of it, and released his soul into Harry with an amazing burst of euphoria. Again and again, feeling and feeling and wanting it to never end. Earth and sky and heaven all merged into one, and he loved him, and he wouldn't fall, and nothing else mattered. Harry held onto him as his own body shuddered, pressing his lips hard against Draco's as the bliss swept through him. They came whispering and moaning and crying each other's names.

Shakily, Harry pulled out of him and Draco made a low sound at the loss. Harry pulled the covers over them with heavy limbs. Both their bodies were covered in sweat and they pressed closely against each other, cuddling and holding.

"You and I, we're forever." Harry said quietly.

"Our love is so strong it will never end," Draco said, curling into Harry who was nuzzling his neck.

Harry loved telling him how much he loved him, how high and how wide, how big and how strong, trying to come up with an answer that escalated each time. "Our love is so strong it will overcome anything."

"Our love is so strong it has bonded us together." Draco replied, running his fingers along Harry's neck.

"Our love is so strong it can create miracles," Harry told him. He took the hand that Draco was running across his side and brought it up to his lips and kissed each of Draco's fingertips. Draco's eyes looked up to meet his, to look into his soul, the endless forest and the calm storm; he looked into them deeply to tell him.

"I have an arranged marriage."

There was once a time where Harry would have fought, but he knew Draco better now.

**Thank you for reading and sticking through with Draco and Harry until the end, and this is the end – one more chapter and an epilogue to go. Feedback is always appreciated. Special mentions to my Beta and also my classmate who puts up with my craziness (and terrible grammar – she made me say that :P ) Hope this was worth the wait. Love you all.**

**Alli xxxxx**


	20. The Broken Pieces

**Like the last chapter, **"o - O - o - O - o" **these symbolise a break in time, and it could be days, months or years. **

**I just wanted to say that I had a bit of a moment the other day and I'd really like to share it with you because it was YOU that made it possible:**

**I was sitting at my desk during class, and I felt my phone vibrate in my blazer pocket. **

**Previously, I had been talking to one of my very good friends (yes Alana, it was you) who has been a dedicated reader since the start, and I asked her whether she had read the latest chapter and she gave me this 'life is Satan' look and grumbled that her internet connection had been cut off. I was about to suggest she read it at school but decided against it because Lord help us all if the school librarian had have caught her reading that on the computer screen. So, being a good friend, I thought that I would send her it in an email. When I got into class, my best friend (God bless her, I don't know how she puts up with my craziness) Googled 'The Brave Ambition'. **

**So, I reached into my pocket to (discretely) look at my phone. My best friend had sent me a screen shot of her Google search. You know how Google (rather rudely) tries to guess what you are going to type in? Well, there it was. The Brave Ambition. Google was guessing it. **

**I know you're all probably thinking, "Uhh…so?" Well, that was huge for me. Even though you have to type in half of the title to get there, I was completely blown away. You guys have no idea how much that means to me; I'm just a fifteen year old girl from that lives in a suburb like the next person, who had this idea and passion to write and you all have supported me through that, befriended me and made this such an experience. I've learned so much about writing, others and myself and I just want to thank you all for that, because that is the most amazing gift anyone has ever given me. It's about as amazing when you all tell me that I've lassoed you into this world with my words and you're right here in the moment with me **

**[I was telling my mum this: **

"**So I typed in half of the story title into the search box–" I said, mum then cut me off. **

"**The Brave Ambition?"**

"**Yeah I– wait…How do you know that?" I asked, mouth gaping, eyes bulging, and shock and worry seizing through me. **

"**Oh…I just remembered that's all." She shrugged indifferently and then motioned me to continue. **

**EVERYONE. BE. AFRAID. **

**BE VERY. VERY. AFRAID. **

**I AM AFRAID. OBAMA IS AFRAID. MY MATHS TEACHER IS AFRAID. EDWRAD CULLEN IS AFRAID. THE MAN WHO COLLECTS THE GARBBAGE IS AFRAID. VENEZUELA IS AFRAID. EVEN THE TALIBAN ARE AFRAID! Everyone please pray for me that she hasn't read it, dear God can you imagine? **

**P.S Have you guys read 50 Shades of Shit? Everyone tells me it is "fantastic, such a fabulous read!" so I tell them my favourite part is how it's a great fire lighter -.- . I think that if people want to read (ugh, I hate this word) **_**erotica**_** then they should do this new thing called **_**googling it**_**. I think it is absolutely appalling how everyone fantasizes about an abusive, psychopathic (because that is what Christian Grey is), obsessive, mentally unstable man who hurts and corrupts her emotionally and physically. He takes her virginity in an insensitive, rough and unrealistic way with every emotion absent. That is just wrong. I'm sorry, but am I not the only one who is worried about this? I think that BDSM is truly great to read and write, when done **_**properly**_**. It's a shit version of a Twilight fanfiction and once you realise this, reading it is like force-feeding yourself poison. She's a walking and talking oxymoron – I don't like domination and pain at all but oh Christian dominate and hurt me because it turns me on. I cannot stand Ana, she is a victim and allows herself to mistreated. Is this the message that we are giving society? I'm sorry, but that is not okay. E. L whatever, is a horrid author. How can you blush one paragraph and flush in the (literally) next paragraph, when was the stopping and the starting of the flushing/blushing. How can the feeling of an orgasm be 'familiar' when you have had sex once and do not masturbate? Someone please shed some light. The sex is terrible! And I'm not saying this because I write slash but JFC how do you right that type of stuff when you are incapable, and clearly have a fear, of saying vagina? VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA! I wrote better smut (het, mind you) than that as a twelve year old. The only reason it is popular is because she had the balls to publish it in the mainstream that we call a bookshop. I could do that, you could do that, anyone could do that….but as least **_**ours**_** (our fanfic writers) would at least have A) a plot line, B) decent characters, and C) good sex. Geezus!**

**So, sorry about that ramble, and without further ado:**

_Previously:_

_Shakily, Harry pulled out of him and Draco made a low sound at the loss. Harry pulled the covers over them with heavy limbs. Both their bodies were covered in sweat and they pressed closely against each other, cuddling and holding. _

"_You and I, we're forever." Harry said quietly. _

"_Our love is so strong it will never end," Draco said, curling into Harry who was nuzzling his neck. _

_Harry loved telling him how much he loved him, how high and how wide, how big and how strong, trying to come up with an answer that escalated each time. "Our love is so strong it will overcome anything."_

"_Our love is so strong it has bonded us together." Draco replied, running his fingers along Harry's neck. _

"_Our love is so strong it can create miracles," Harry told him. He took the hand that Draco was running across his side and brought it up to his lips and kissed each of Draco's fingertips. Draco's eyes looked up to meet his, to look into his soul, the endless forest and the calm storm; he looked into them deeply to tell him._

"_I have an arranged marriage."_

_There was once a time where Harry would have fought, but he knew Draco better now._

**CHAPTER 20 **

**THE BROKEN PIECES**

Death. That was the mutual story. That was what they agreed on. When they were asked if they could finally introduce their mystery loves they said, quietly, that they had perished in the war. And really, how different was it from the truth? They still grieved a loss. They were still alone. They had still left.

It had been a week since the Battle of Hogwarts. Harry sat in Ron's room with Hermione and Ginny, Fred's death still a fresh wound. The Weasley house was quiet and in mourning. "So Harry," Ginny said, "do we finally get to meet this girl of yours?"

Harry concentrated on keeping his voice even, not allowing his emotions to seep in. "She died."

The silence was so thick it was almost solid. A lump formed in his throat and he found it strenuous to breathe. Ginny's hand came up to cover her mouth. Ron had a shocked look on his face.

"Oh Harry I'm–" Hermione began, but Harry cut her off.

"Excuse me," he said, standing up and leaving the room. He darted down the stairs and walked out the door, heading into the long reeds. As soon as he decided that he was far enough and out of hearing range, he dropped to his knees, his hands interweaving into his hair, and screamed out loud. When he finished screaming he began crying and once that had run its course he was reduced to tearless sobs, "Oh God I miss you. I miss so much you already. What am I going to do?"

Draco was very different. He didn't talk much. To others, there was no change, but for those, like Astoria, the change was immediately noticeable. She felt horrible that he was sentenced to a life with her.

"If it had to be anyone I would have picked you," he assured her.

Astoria not only pitied him but she worried about him. She was certain that the death of the girl he loved would ruin him sooner or later. That type of love never left anyone. She was afraid of the scarring that it would leave on Draco.

They had both be bound to an unbreakable magical contract that tied their marriage. Draco knew that he was expected to produce a male air to carry on the Malfoy name but Astoria was only sixteen years old and he did not dare touch her. She understood this, agreed to it with certainty. Draco wasn't sure he could have had a physical relationship, or encounter, with her even if she was of an appropriate age. He could not imagine sharing himself intimately with anyone other than Harry. He was aware that Astoria was a female, and that he was not attracted to girls, though that was not what his first concern. He valued intimacy beyond that.

Draco told Astoria, before she left for Hogwarts the following September, she was free to see or date anyone if it pleased her. Astoria politely said no to the offer, saying that it would not be necessary. This made Draco feel even worse, that he couldn't return her feelings. Something that made him feel even worse than that was that it was expected that he would eventually he would fall in love with Astoria. Perhaps Astoria had hoped for this, it pained him that he knew that it would never happen. Sometimes he wished that it would, so that he would not be so unhappy all the time, aching all the time, so that he wouldn't keep changing into this person he was aware he was becoming but didn't want to be. He wanted to be Harry's Draco, forever, nothing else. Yet without him, without his charge, he was running out of battery, and he wondered when he would eventually die from no power.

When Astoria stayed with him in the Manor things seemed like they would regain some normalcy, possibly. He knew that Astoria shouldn't have to suffer with him, that it was unfair of him to make her see his grief. He bought her paints and brushes, easels and canvases, pencils and ink, and anything else she might need artistically. He gave her own art room for her to create anything her fingers desired. He knew that while this mad her happy, materialistic things most likely would not last forever. He felt like he should apologise, but he had a feeling she already knew. She understood him like that, for which he was grateful to have her.

Though other times when Astoria stayed with him, she could hear him screaming in his sleep. She remembered the first night that had happened. She had awoken to the sound, which penetrated the walls between their rooms, of Draco crying. Quietly, she had picked up the thin blanket that was placed on top of her bed covers and wrapped it around her like a shawl and left her room. She had walked down the corridor and opened Draco's door. She'd seen Draco clutching his bed sheets as the tears left his unknowing, closed eyes. Without stopping to consider whether or not it would make Draco feel uncomfortable, she had gently placed her hands on either side of his face and whispered his name until he had woken up. He had been embarrassed, afraid, scared and vulnerable, but Astoria had ignored all of that and curled up in the bed beside him, stroking his pale blonde hair until he fell asleep again. After the third night of this happening, Astoria asked if it was a better idea if she just slept in Draco's bed, since she always ended up there at some point during the night. He had been hesitant to agree, wondering if it was inappropriate. She assured him that it wasn't, only that she preferred if she would be able to get a good nights sleep without being woken up, and it seemed to stop his bad dreams. He eventually agreed.

Astoria has the habit of tying her long, dark hair into a bun while she painted. Draco told her that her hair looked beautiful out but she ignored him, saying that it looked like an untamed sphinx's mane, even though it was completely straight. He watched her paint because it was calming and because it took his mind off things for a few hours at a time. Sometimes he would ask her to draw certain things; sometimes she would draw how he felt. Though she didn't know this, when she fell asleep he would quietly sneak off into the art room and by wandlight, he would look at them for hours at a time.

He loved her. He really did. Just not in the way he loved Harry. He loved how no matter how hard she tried she would always smudge paint on her face because she brought her hand to her face when she thought and that hand would always hold a paintbrush. He loved how when he slept next to her she would never touch him in a way that made him feel uncomfortable, only in a way that comforted him. He loved her when she knew exactly how he felt, or what he was thinking, or what he needed, like the day when she came up to him and put a quill and a leather notebook into his hands. He opened it and the first page had written: _To Draco, write, because there you will find answers, peace and ease._

"Words don't do anything justice," Astoria told him, "Colours and lines and shades and dimensions do. I think you're the only person that can use words to paint a picture." It would be so easy to fall in love with her, he told himself. He wasn't just able to. When he closed his eyes he saw only Harry's face. Those green eyes.

Sometimes Draco would leave to be by himself for a while and that was when Astoria painted what she saw in her dreams. She never told Draco about her dreams because she didn't understand them, and that scared her. She didn't understand what it meant or why they were there. Those green eyes were what appeared on her canvas, and she hid these from sight.

When Astoria left for Hogwarts, Draco was alone in the Manor with his mother, Narcissa. His father had been taken to Azkaban. Even though Harry had never said anything, he knew that it was because of Harry's influence his father was locked away. He remembered the Gryffindor's words, about settling his differences with his mother and being honest with her, otherwise he would be unable to let go and move, according to Harry anyways. Draco had learned that Harry was nearly always right.

He felt like the world was shouting at him, but Draco couldn't hear anything. He forced himself to hear, to tune in, but even then he didn't really listen.

Eventually, Harry came to love Ginny. Her comforting, in time, turned to something more. Fingers that would brush against his hair in empathy and consolation, entwined with his own. The lips that would whisper words of solace, kissed his own. In the midst of it all Harry struggled to find a reason to object, a reason to deny her. What did he have to lose? He had lost everything; he only had to gain.

He smiled and her when he caught her eye. He held her hair out of her face when she was sick. He kissed her goodbye when she left for Hogwarts to complete her final year. He buttered her toast and spread jam on it. He subtly read through her DADA essays and edited them before she handed them in. He held her hand when they walked.

But he never fell in love with her.

Over time, he stopped growing in height but grew in mind, and Ginny swapped her Hogwarts robes for Quidditch ones. The Wizarding world waited for the question to be asked and Harry felt obliged to ask it; just like Draco had felt obliged to conform to society – it was symbolic in a sick way. That was what Harry's life had become: things that had to be done and then him doing them.

He still laughed and he still smiled and he still lived. Though, the puzzle was missing a piece – the prettiest one, the biggest one, the best one – so it was suitable to say that Harry was not whole, he was not complete.

Like Draco, he became tired of listening to the sound of his crying; unlike Draco, he accepted that it wouldn't stop anytime soon. He didn't mind that everyday had a portion that would be Black Time. Black Time was when he couldn't think of anything else, when he hid away and when he let himself be weak. Black Time was when he traced his lips with the pad of his thumb, knowing that Draco had once touched there. Black Time was when there were no colours. Black Time was when he was so consumed in his own mind that nobody noticed that there was anything wrong with him.

When they had separated, they did not destroy all evidence of there love. They did not pretend that it did not happen. Because it did. And it had been magical. Their bodies were evidence enough; they had been inside of each other – their memories were proof enough of that. A few times when he had been alone, Harry had taken out the Firewhiskey and for a few hours he forgot, the alcohol numbing him. It was not solace because Harry didn't want to forget; why would he want to forget something so wonderful? What he wanted was Draco and Firewhiskey would not help him get that. But slowly after the effects wore off but still tinged his thoughts, he had sat on the floor, looking at the front door and wondering whether Draco would walk through it. He wondered if he would Apparate into their bedroom on the third floor like he had done so many times before. The house, Grimmauld Place, was scattered with bittersweet memories of the past, and eerie memories that hadn't happened – that would now never happen.

Leaving Draco had felt like stepping off the edge of a cliff. He felt like he had been falling for forever and some more. He knew that life was calling to him, he knew that he had to clutch onto something to stop his endless plummeting, but he simply couldn't move on.

Draco preferred to reflect on his own and while Harry did too, he still went out and lived. The difference was that Harry was a better actor. Neither of them could be labelled as less effected than the other because it was equal.

The world kept spinning and turning and moving on and Harry was angry at that. He wondered how the world could be so selfish, letting time carry on when he wanted it to rewind back to a time where Draco was his and he was Draco's. There was so much Harry could be, but he just wanted to be himself, the way he was. And even that was not allowed

Sometimes he felt like he would stop breathing if he didn't see Draco again. No one knew what it was like, for the truth to be forbidden. No one knew how he felt, or how much he missed him, or how vast distance between their fingertips had been there for too long. He ached for him. He longed for him. He yearned for him. He missed him so much that he could hardly bear it, hardly cope with it.

These things inhabited them and hovered in the backs of their mind. They lived lives that were tainted by the absence of the other, and while they carried on, nothing was ever the same.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry went to every Quidditch game that Ginny played. When she asked him whether or not she should apply to be in the English team for the World Cup, Harry looked at her incredulously and replied, "Of course!" He collected all of her Quidditch figurines, decorating her bedside table with them.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Astoria had arrived home after the end of the year, the end of her _last _year. She had officially completed her education at Hogwarts.

"What am I going to do, Draco?" She asked him. "I want to do _everything_. I want to correct all those horrid textbooks, write my own, become a teacher, work in the Department of Magical Education, _everything!_"

Draco chuckled, "Perhaps we will just start off with the textbooks then?"

"Don't tease," she whined, "I'm serious!"

"I know you are, that is what's so funny," he smiled.

"Why was it so easy for you? Potions Master, _bam!_, career chosen."

"It was _not_ easy for me," Draco disagreed, "there were a lot of things I wanted to do."

"Like?"

"I wanted to be a Healer, I wanted to research medicine, I would not have minded a career in teaching or textbook writing either."

"And you became a Potions Master?" Astoria asked sceptically. "A _Potions Master?_ When you could have done all those other exciting things? Why? You could have brought fame to the Malfoy name!" Her was tone teasing in the last sentence.

"Well I know that you would have been the one two do that last part, so I settled on becoming a Potions Master. It's not as if I do not enjoy it." Draco explained.

Astoria rolled her eyes. "Uh huh, sure."

"Do anything and everything," Draco told her, "because you can and because you have the ability to."

"You know, people pay galleons for that type of advice," Astoria pointed out while popping a sugar fizz into her mouth.

"And here you are getting it for free, aren't you lucky?" Draco teased back.

Astoria laughed. "True," she grinned. "Oh and by the way," she added, "there's a Bogart in the bedroom five doors down from ours."

Draco nodded while getting up from his spot on the couch, "I'll go up and fix it now before it slips my mind."

"Like anything slips your mind," Astoria rolled her eyes.

"Thank you Draco, you are most welcome Astoria," Draco said as he walked off, causing Astoria to laugh.

"Thank you!" she called from below. Draco just shook his head and smiled.

When he arrived at the door he opened it slowly, unsurprised that it was dark and all the blinds had been drawn shut. The opened door let some light pour into the room and Draco immediately heard the rattling of the Bogart in the cupboard on the far side of the room. Draco recalled the Defence lesson that had involved Bogarts, and he marvelled at how long ago that was now (he turned twenty-one half a year ago).

He waved his wand, which was pointed at the cupboard, and he momentarily wondered how the Bogart would appear before the horror crept up on him and settled deep within his bones. A startling green flash filled the room and Harry Potter stared at him; Draco watched as the light left his green eyes and he fell to the floor.

The walls and doors and barriers that Draco had built up over the years to cope with the separation from Harry came crashing down and everything that he had managed to keep at bay knocked him over with a fierce force.

"Stop!" Draco screamed. A pool of blood had slowly began to well around Harry, the crimson liquid reminding Draco that this was indeed unreal as the killing curse did not cause blood to escape the body, yet it created a horrific effect.

"No!" Draco screamed again, his breathing frantic and his hands trembling, winding their way into his blonde hair and pulling, as he did not know how to regain control over himself.

Harry's skin was pale and did not have its usual alluring glow, his hair still as messy as Draco remembered. "Oh please no," Draco cried, tears now building his eyes at the scene before him, "stop it. Just stop!"

His feet began to slowly back track, trying to flee from the fake corpse in front of him. He stepped out of the room and slammed the door shut, the Bogart erasing its form of Draco's fear as soon as it was out of the blonde's sight.

Draco turned around and slid down the door, ending up in a quivering heap on the floor. "Not now," Draco sobbed, "why now? Why do you do this to me? You are everywhere I go, everything I do. I am trying so hard; I swear I am. Why can you not simply…why can I not get over you? Fuck! Oh God, I am so sorry." He buried his head in his hands and continued to cry, each tear like shrapnel. "I hurt so much…it is fucking pathetic. It has been three years and…not a day goes by where I miss you any less."

Draco didn't know how long he sat there for, but after a while he felt gentle arms wrap around him.

"You okay?" Astoria asked quietly, stroking Draco's hair and bringing his head onto her shoulder to lean on. Draco swallowed back tears and shook his head. "You're okay," she assured him gently, "you're okay."

She didn't ask him what he had seen. She did nothing but hold him, running her fingers through his blonde hair, stroking his hands, whispering comfort to him. Eventually, he let out a shaky breath and turned him head to face her. He gave a small, weak smile and pressed his nose to her cheek. She felt her cheeks flush at the affectionate gesture and she reflexively turned her head towards the contact. Draco drew in a short, sharp breath at being in such a near proximity to another person when he hadn't been in years. Astoria's breath was heavy in her chest and she slowly and hesitantly leaned in.

They had never done this before, contrary to what everyone else believed, even though they had been legally married for a little more than two years. They were just very close friends – that's all they had ever been. Draco had always loved her like a sister, and Astoria had always been in love with him. Even though she had been away from him, at Hogwarts, for the majority of their arranged marriage, she had never stopped loving him. He was everything that she ever wanted: smart, protective, understanding and had realness to his personality.

She had waited for this moment for so long, never pressuring him, yet yearning for him to love her back at the same time. She knew deep down that he didn't love her in the way that she thirsted for. She was not ignorant and did not lie to herself about it. However in that moment, the feel of his lips, what she had been waiting for, for so many years, just a fleeting touch if that, was all she needed.

She pressed her lips to his. She closed her eyes and so did he. It was cautious and hesitant and everything that was the bare minimum, like treading on a floor covered in broken glass with a blindfold on; every step was careful and calculated, trial and error.

Astoria could hear her pulse thundering through her, red highlighting her. She never imagined her first kiss with Draco would be like this. She had imagined kissing him so many times, yet she honestly never expected for it to ever happen.

Draco struggled to stop himself from trembling. As Astoria moved in closer and put a hand on his cheek and her other hand on his chest, Draco's mind thought back to the last time he had kissed a girl, the last time he had had sex with a girl. And suddenly, he thought of his last kiss. And suddenly, he was thinking of Harry.

His lips were not as soft as hers. He had this deep masculine scent that intoxicated him; Draco had forgotten about that, the way Harry smelt, and now that it was at the forefront of his mind he missed it so much. He could feel Astoria pressing against him, and his stomach tensed as he tried not to flinch away from the sensation of a curved chest in between them. He missed Harry's flat chest and the way that nothing came in between them.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

He tried; he tried so hard. He tried to forget everything and make himself want this, want her. But he couldn't. She wasn't Harry, she wasn't what he desired, she didn't have Harry's rough-skinned hands, she didn't know how to touch him, she didn't know what he had been through for the two years with Harry, what they did. She would never know what things to whisper in his ear, she would never understand why Draco might become emotional during the most intimate of moments; she wasn't Harry.

And Harry was all that he would ever want.

He pulled away. Astoria looked at him in confusion, concern and apprehension. "I'm sorry," he said. He sat back against the door, bringing his legs in and knees up, and buried his head in his hands. "I can't."

Astoria swallowed and nodded. She would be lying to herself if she said that she didn't feel hurt, rejected to be precise. However, she understood.

"Shit, I am sorry." Draco said again. "That was not fair to you."

"It's okay," she told him softly, her eyes sincere.

"It's not," he disagreed. "I'm sorry that I can't move on. I'm sorry that you are forced to be with me when you could be out being with someone, falling in love, living. I'm sorry that I am the way I am. I am sorry that it did not work out for either of us," _both loving someone we cannot have_, silently ran through his mind, ending the sentence.

"Don't ever be sorry for who you are, or for what you've been through, because you have nothing to be sorry for, Draco." Astoria told him. She sighed, "You keep waiting for the day when you'll wake up and everything will have gone away, when you won't be hurting, and you'll be able to move on – that won't happen. It will never go away, Draco; you'll just learn to manage it better over time and that will let you see and appreciate what you've got now." She smiled sadly and pulled him into her arms, "Come here."

His lip wobbled and his breath hitched and he was crying for all the kisses he couldn't have anymore.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

**HARRY AND GINNY WED  
><strong>Daily Prophet article written by Boedica Truston.

_Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley were pronounced husband and wife yesterday morning and made their vows in front of a small number of close friends and family. _

_All eyes were on the bride, Ginny Potter, as she–_

The paper began to scrunch up where Draco's hand rested on it. He stopped, pausing, and then relaxed his hand, smoothing out the creases he had created. "That was supposed to be _me_," Draco said under his breath to the moving picture that was smiling, "THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE _US_! We were supposed to be forever! Not with _her_, with _me_! With us! You do not love her! You are _mine_! THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE _US_, HARRY! US!"

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"I think it's safe to say that we're both surprised that I hadn't been married off up until this point," Pansy said to Draco as she sipped her tea.

"I thought you would have married straight after Blaise to be honest," Draco said. "Have you met him?"

"Nope," Pansy shrugged, "I couldn't really care. I mean if my father has chosen him, he's got money _obviously_. It's not like this marriage will tie me down."

"_Nothing_ ties you down Pansy," Draco smirked. "How are you and Blaise? Is he sure?"

"Oh yeah," she nodded surely, "he's head over heels. Who would have thought that he actually would have fallen in love with her? I mean, she's heaps older than him, but it was arranged too. I guess it's a bit annoying. After he married, we still fucked, and then he just started to fall for her. I don't really mind to be honest; if he's got what he wants then I'm happy enough for him."

"I think it _is_ good for him," Draco agreed. "Blaise is the type of person that would have wanted love, whether he ever found it or not. So I am happy for him too. He's–"

"Different from me," Pansy inserted, "Yeah, I know." Draco shrugged; it was true. "I'm happy with the way things have turned out for me and I'm happy with the way things have turned out for him, so yeah."

"I am happy for you both," Draco told her.

"And what about you?" Pansy asked.

"What about me?"

"The trio all married off now, how about that eh?" Pansy said. "Are you happy?"

Was he?

He was healthy; he had food and water; he lived comfortably; he was not unhappy with his career; and he had close friends that made him smile. Shouldn't he be happy?

"I suppose," he replied.

"You _suppose_?" Pansy scoffed. "Where is Mrs. Malfoy anyways?"

Draco winced. "Please do not call her that," he said politely.

"Why not?" Pansy asked, confused.

"We both…have an aversion to it," he said. The truth was Draco didn't want her to have his last name; _he_ didn't even want his last name, as it connected him to something that he was not proud to be connected too.

"Right," Pansy said slowly, still confused but choosing to let it go. "So, when is she going to start popping out little blonde-haired bubs?"

Draco looked at her, scandalized. He was so shocked by that comment that uncontrolled thoughts and words stammered themselves out of his mouth, "No– I…I mean…we have not– no, that's– we have never…I cannot believe you just–"

"Calm down," she said, eyes wide at the scene in front of her. "What–" but then she put together the almost unintelligible words that had come from Draco's mouth. "You've fucked, right?"

Draco looked at her, his eyes still wide and his mouth still open.

"You have had sex, haven't you?" Pansy repeated, feeling the need to clarify her question.

"We…"

"Holy shit," she said slowly.

"Pansy–"

"Holy shit," she said again. "Draco you've been married for more than two years. Are you telling me that you haven't touched her once? Why?"

"I–" he tried to think of an explanation, an excuse, and he just couldn't, "I can't."

"Why?" Pansy asked, a have-you-lost-it-completely look on her face.

"I just can't." he told her. "She is like my sister Pansy, you know that. I do not love her like that."

"She's crazy about you," Pansy cried, "She's in love with you!"

"I know that," Draco exclaimed helplessly.

"There's someone else isn't there?" Pansy said. "Isn't there Draco? Because she looks at you like the sun, treats you like the divine, adores you and is very beautiful; no one wouldn't be in love with that. Who are you seeing? Who else is there?"

"There is no one else," Draco told her honestly. Quietly adding, "There will never be anyone else."

The room fell silent as Pansy looked at him with many things, but mostly pity. "Draco this is ridiculous," she finally said. Draco said nothing; he didn't need to justify his thoughts and actions to Pansy. "It really, really is."

"You have no idea what you are talking about," he said through clenched teeth.

"Aren't you over her yet?" Pansy asked him. "She's been dead for years now."

Draco looked like someone had slapped him across the face; he felt like someone has poured ice into his blood. Then suddenly, fire was being poured into him and his blood boiled. How could she say that? How could she be so insensitive? Why did she have to pick at the stitches that were barely holding him together? He burned.

"Get out," he told her. "And don't ever come back."

And that was how the friendship between Pansy Parkinson and Draco Malfoy ended.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Ginny watched Harry as he bustled around the kitchen as he prepared dinner. She shook her head and smiled, wondering how she ever got so lucky to marry a man that insisted that _he_ was the one that would cook dinner. Naturally, Mrs. Weasley said it all came down to how her own cooking inspired Harry to engage in the skill of meal making. Harry had chuckled afterwards and assured her that that was definitely the reason.

"GIN!" Harry called loudly, assuming that she was upstairs, "DINNER'S RE– oh hey, dinner's ready."

Ginny laughed and walked over to the table. "Thanks," she said.

"How was your day?" Harry asked.

"Good," she replied. Hesitantly she began, "Harry I'm…I'm…"

Harry looked up, concerned, "You're…?"

"I'm thinking of resigning." She said. Watching carefully for his reaction.

"You're going to leave the team?" Harry asked, shocked. "Why?"

"I was thinking about writing for the Daily Prophet, reporting on the Quidditch." She explained.

"But…you love playing…?" Harry was still confused as to why Ginny wanted to stop playing Quidditch after three great years of it. He knew that her passion was playing and that's why he couldn't understand her sudden change of mind.

"I do," she agreed, "but I can't play anymore."

Harry froze. Nothing would ever stop Ginny from playing. "Ginny what's wrong?" he asked her, trying not to panic.

Her eyes widened. "No, no, no, nothing's wrong," she assured him immediately.

"Then what–"

"I'm pregnant."

Harry's mouth dropped open. His throat suddenly became dry and he tried to swallow. That was something that he was not expecting. Ginny was pregnant. There was a baby inside of her. _His_ baby. They were going to have a family. _He_ was going to have a family, a son or daughter. Was he ready for this? She was going to have a baby. She was going to have a baby. He was going to be a father. He was going to hold a baby in his arms and then watch it grow while loving it. _Good Godric_, he thought, _we're going to have a baby_.

"Harry?" Ginny asked slowly.

"We're going to have a family," Harry said.

"Yeah," Ginny smiled slowly, sounding a little breathless, "yeah we are."

He stood up and walked over to her. He embraced her, closing his eyes and thinking about the life in between them. A rush of warmth flooded through him at the thought of holding his own flesh and blood in his arms.

There was just something missing.

The feeling was half complete. He wanted to be able to share this properly with Ginny, share with her how he truly felt, but he couldn't. It was incorrect. It wasn't all there. This was supposed to be Draco who he was embracing, Draco who he was supposed to be smiling with, Draco who would be right next to him through this journey he was about to take.

His body became rigid at the thought of the other man.

"Harry's what's wrong?" Ginny asked, pulling away, immediately sensing his change of mood.

Harry forced a smile, making sure that it reached his eye and looked genuine. "Nothing," he lied. "I'm really happy, Ginny."

If Harry could have picked anyone to carry his baby it would have been Ginny. He was happy. He was. It was just…it was supposed to be his and Draco's. It wasn't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be different.

"I'm really happy too," she replied, her eyes sparkling. She leaned forward and joined their lips. He closed his eyes and pretended that those lips weren't as soft, that they weren't as thin, that they didn't belong to her. He pretended that everything was perfect. It should have been. It just wasn't, though.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Sex with Harry had always been fairly spontaneous. 'Unplanned' was the word Draco was looking for. It was always desperate, like scratching an itch. There was a certain craving, an insatiable craving. It had been so many things that differed on a scale from rough, to fun, to passionate, to beautiful, to soul searing. Every touch made a different colour burst from behind the other's eyes like a crackle of electricity. They alternated between fucking and love making, and no matter which one, it was always intimate between them.

It had been eight years since Harry. And almost every day of those eight years his mother reminded Draco that an heir to the Malfoy name was expected. He knew that he could not put it off any longer.

Their bedroom was silent; the lights had been put out not even five minutes ago. Draco's palms were sweaty and his heart beat in his chest at a ridiculously fast pace as nerves shot through his body. He felt sick. He rolled over onto his side, turning to face Astoria, and moved himself closer to her so that their faces were almost touching.

He placed his hand on her back, taking it step by step. Astoria was very much awake, though she did not move or make a sound, waiting to see what Draco would do. He hesitantly leaned forward and pressed his lips to her. To him, that's all it was – lips pressing on lips. To Astoria, her stomach flooded with butterflies and she couldn't help but respond.

"I think that we should try for a child," Draco said to her, breaking away.

"I'd really like that," Astoria replied, her heart still hammering away at a million miles per hour.

Draco nodded. "Is…is this okay?" he asked, swallowing hard.

"Yes," she assured him.

"But you believe that we are ready to have a child?" he asked, rambling somewhat. "That this is the right choice, that this is mutual? I have been thinking about it for sometime and this is a very important decision. Are you sure ready for that to–"

"Draco," Astoria said, "I promise you I am ready for whatever is to come." She found his hand and placed it on her hip. "You don't have to worry."

And then he leaned back into kiss her and it began. He thought back to the days when he was frightened about who he was, and how he would sleep with girls to prove to himself that they were what he wanted. They weren't. They never had. They never would be. Now, he felt like he did when he was sixteen; he felt like he had to prove a point. This time though, he wasn't proving to himself who he was not, he was proving that he could move on, even though he knew, deep down inside, that that would never happen, that he never would.

Her skin was the wrong texture; her hips were the wrong shape; her breasts were something foreign and unappealing – everything was wrong. She made all the wrong sounds. She didn't know him in this way. She didn't know what he needed, or what made him feel good.

He had to close his eyes and focus solely on the sensation of touch. He had to tell himself that it didn't matter who was touching him but that it felt nice. He had to imagine that it was not her that was touching him, but Harry. Just his name shot a jolt of arousal through him. It took him longer than it had ever to get to have an erection, and maybe that was partly because he didn't want to be inside of _that_. Disregarding all of this though, he made sure that he took care of her. He made sure that she felt safe and she felt good.

"Can I–"

"Yes," Astoria nodded breathlessly.

He positioned himself at her entrance and slowly started to move inside of her. "Tell me to stop if it hurts," he told her.

It felt incorrect. It was the wrong heat. It was the wrong tightness. It didn't feel right. It shouldn't have been that easy to slide into her; he was practically slipping in. The position they were in was wrong too; he was moving into something that was too high up. He didn't know where to put his hands. He would have put them on her chest but he knew that would hurt her, and she wouldn't have be able to hold his weight regardless.

He closed his eyes and pretended that her lips were Harry's and did something rare: he thought back to a time where he and Harry were one and it set his veins on fire…

_... "I want you," he breathed into Harry's ear before sucking the earlobe. _

"_Where to you want me?" Harry asked meeting his boyfriend's lustful tone._

"_In my mouth," Draco replied. Harry squeezed his eyes shut at groaned at the words that came out of Draco's mouth. "Floor," the blonde said barely audible over the hiss of the running water. Harry lay down on the tiles that were warm, the sound of the water hitting the floor clear in his ears. Draco followed him; he positioned himself so that his mouth hovered over Harry's erection, the water hitting the top of his head and his upper back. _

_Harry forgot about everything else as soon as Draco took him in his mouth. Draco's teeth carefully grazed his shaft. He used the tip of his tongue to swirl around Harry's slit and then used the flat of his tongue to rub the spot he knew was most sensitive. Draco relaxed his throat as he swallowed Harry deeply. He couldn't breathe but that really didn't matter at the moment. He sucked so hard that Harry was certain all of his blood was rushing down south. The Slytherin pulled away to take in a gasp of air. Harry would have made a sound of protest if not for the sight before him. _

_Harry bucked his hips up needily. _

_The sounds that left Harry's lips spurred Draco on. The part of Harry's cock that Draco's mouth couldn't quite reach was wrapped around with his hands that jerked him up and down. Harry thought he was going to explode. Electricity seemed to jolt up his spine. _

"_Godric, fuck!" Harry screamed. _

_Draco's tongue shouldn't have been allowed to do that – because it felt too damn amazing. He pulled away before he came too early. _

_The steam continued to rise. It shielded the outside world from the scene in the shower. Harry's hands ran over Draco's body as he rubbed soap all over it. His fingers moved in circles on Draco's chest and then his stomach. His palms massaged his bum. He pushed Draco against the wall as his hands rubbed the sweet smelling soap on his back. Harry stroked Draco's arms; he ran his hands from the blonde's shoulders right to the tips of his fingers. He brought Draco's hand behind his neck and engaged in a passionate kiss. Harry then dropped down to floor, as he gently rubbed along his calves in a circular motion. _

_Draco gasped as Harry's tongue licked the underside of his cock. Harry's tongue caressed Draco's erect member as his hands trailed up and down the Slytherin's thighs. Draco's hands were balled up into fists. Harry's devious tongue traced up and down. It made the other boy lose his chain of thought. He felt like his every nerve was being attended to. It was just that _–_ Harry's hands seemed to be everywhere. Brushing the inside of his thighs, massaging his balls, pinching his nipples. Draco fisted his Harry's hair; he hadn't meant to be rough, but he just couldn't help it. He had to pull away before it became too much, before it through his over the edge. _

_Somehow they were under the jet of water again. They were close together. Draco hesitantly leaned his head forward, softly touching Harry's lips with his own. As soon as that happened something snapped and their movements ceased to be slow. They fought to kiss. It was almost territorial the way their mouths clashed and their tongues battled. They did what they did best; fight to be better, to win, to not back down and to override the other. _

_They tugged on each other's erections. The water proved as an excellent lubricant that made their hands slide with ease, allowing them to stroke faster and quicker. Their groans filled the empty change room. Harry threw his head back and let out a moan of pleasure. Their kisses were extremely messy, as their preoccupied hands were not able to hold their faces close enough. However, this was not an issue; lips, tongue, chin – whatever they kissed it was irrelevant. As long as they were kissing some part of the other everything was fine. As their pace quickened so did the incoherency of their words, which eventually resulted into helpless whimpers and cries of pleasure. _

_They couldn't stop their orgasms from bolting through them like a sharp, hot crack of lightning that never seemed to end. Harry's back arched into Draco's blissful hand. Flash after flash of agonising__excruciating agonisinga__ pleasure shot through Draco's body, setting fire to every nerve, every inch of him. Luckily, the water was still running, so they were able to quickly wash away the result of their orgasms off their body…_

…He made sure not to call out Harry's name when he came. He was back to having to always being in control. Later on, as he lay next to Astoria, he thought about how it killed him. He thought about how he valued intimacy so much and now even that had been taken away from him. He was left with nothing to connect with, no one to share himself with.

When he knew Astoria was fast asleep, he let himself cry quietly. "I am sorry," whispered into the darkness, "I'm so sorry."

And he was apologising to Harry, because he was the only person that should have been able to have Draco in that way.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry always told Ginny that he loved her, but he never told her that she was his only one, because she never was, and she never would be.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

And then Draco, in all of his apprehension and fearfulness, received the baby in his arms. His lips parted open in awe as he stared down at the being in his arms. There, wrapped in a white blanket, fair hair and pale skin tinged with scarlet, was his son.

_His son_.

It was all true. The fear disappeared and he wondered what he was ever afraid of in the first place. His heart swelled to five times its size and he knew that he had the capability and the capacity to love this child always and forever because it just made sense to. He felt an overwhelming force take him and bind him to this child that he knew he would always protect. He wanted nothing bad to happen to this gift in his arms.

_He was a father_.

For the first time since forever, his world was perfect, whole. In this life changing moment, he understood. Instantaneous love gripped him and he knew the embrace would be permanent. He could not speak, he could not think, just hold him in his arms. People had told him what it would feel like to hold him for the first time, to know that he was his. But they were wrong; they didn't care for this newborn the way he did. They didn't know that this child was the centre if his universe. He would do anything for this child, be anything. Love pulsed and radiated from him and he prayed that his son could feel it, could know that he was loved by him.

He watched as his son's eyes darted around, trying to make sense of the world he had just be brought into. Draco was in complete adoration of this treasure, this present that he had been given; _that he had created._ There was a connection and a bond that he couldn't explain; it was just _there_. And it was strong. One of the strongest things he had ever felt. This was a different kind of love.

Cradling his son in his arms felt very surreal. He was holding an immaculate creation of life. He was perfect. He was everything that made the world spin and the birds sing and the sky rain, he was everything and he was _his_.

"You will have everything that I did not, I promise you." Draco whispered through his tear filled eyes and surging feels of love. "I promise you, you will be loved."

Later on Draco felt selfish for thinking about how he felt like a single parent, how he felt alone, that Scorpius should have been his and Harry's, how this should have been _their_ moment of joy _together_. He just couldn't help it. He loved his son, but he also loved Harry. He loved them both; differently, but still he loved them equally.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Draco felt a chill sweep over him as the Dementor ushered him in the right direction. When they arrived it floated sombrely back to the entrance. Draco held his breath as he looked beyond the bars and saw a man sitting in the corner; bristly beard, greasy white-blonde hair and a sickly pale complexion was what he was confronted with.

Draco swallowed and adrenaline pumped through him as his body sensed the anxious situation. His mouth formed a hard line – he would not be afraid, not anymore. "Father?"

Lucius looked up. Draco did not expect him to cackle or for crazy words to fall from his lips, because Lucius was not like that; even in imprisonment and isolation he was still controlled and alert. "Draco," he replied civilly, "I wondered when you would come."

_Why?_

"I came to inform you that I have a son," Draco said formally, "his name is Scorpius."

"Well done," Lucius consoled. It left Draco thinking that the term 'congratulations' would have been more appropriate rather that 'well done', as it made him feel like having Scorpius was something to be proud of not because he was a gift but because he was a completed task. "Will you be bringing my grandson to come and see me?"

"No," Draco replied, "He is not your grandson."

"I think you will find that he is," Lucius said, not playing ignorant, "as I am your father."

"You are _not_ my father," Draco told him. He remained composed. "I also came here to inform you that I will never be the same father to my son that you were to me."

Lucius knew that this day would come; he had been waiting for it. He was not unaware of anything and knew more than he let on. He regarded Draco patiently. Draco kept chanting Harry's name and imagined him whispering the words he wanted to say into his ear. He told himself to be strong and to not let himself be intimidated. He needed to say this, he needed for his father to hear him say this.

"What you did to me is unforgiveable." Draco said. "You abused me emotionally and physically. You deprived me of a childhood and of attachment. Most importantly, you deprived me of love. You inflicted horrendous things upon me that no child should ever witness. You never told me that you loved me, never told me that was wanted. You constricted me. You pruned me to how _you_ wanted me to grow and never let me flourish."

Draco's fists clenched by his side. "You never protected me. You included me into things that I never should have been included into, that I never wanted to be in. You never once cared about my life when…when you put it in His hands. You made me do things that I did not want to do, things that hurt me."

All of a sudden, something rolled through him. It was huge and uncontrollable like a tsunami. It was something he didn't see coming. However, Draco was now an expert in knowing what emotions were crashing over him. "I hate you!" he shouted. The words loud and resounding on the stone walls. "I am like this because of you! Because of you I am closed and scared! You wanted me to hurt others. You threatened me and blackmailed me and had me trapped so I had nowhere left to turn. And then I found one place to go to, _one_. And–" he paused, looking at his father in the eye, no longer afraid, no longer unsure.

"And I was in love with him!" He screamed, tears falling form his face. "I was in love with him and you took him away from me! You knew, I know you knew!" He accused. The hatred and built up emotion did not just poor out of him, it exploded with great force. His face was contorted in the pain that Lucius had caused him and his muscles were tensed in anger and exertion. "You knew and you made me sign it. For what? What had I ever done other than obey you? You tore us apart because of what, because you were angry that I was gay? You are shallow and cold and malicious, and you are only pleased when I am hurt. You are less than nothing and I have always been better than you. You destroyed me, over and over and it still was not enough for you. It is because of you that I cannot be with the love of my life. I loved him! He saved me. He was everything that you were not and more. He was everything to me and you took me from him! You had no right to do that!"

"I do not really believe that Harry Potter ever meant all that much to you, Draco." Lucius told him, his tone making Draco feel like his father had not heard a single word that had come out of his mouth.

"No," Draco yelled, "No, you do not get to say his name! You know nothing about him; you know nothing about _me_; you know nothing about _us_. I will _never_ be like you. I used to be afraid that I would become like you, but now I know that will not happen – because I will _not_ allow it. I am _nothing_ like you, I am not your son and I wish upon you only the genuine understanding of what you have done to me. Though I know that you will never truly be able to fathom the life that you have sentenced me to because you are incapable of emotion and empathy…and I pity you…but I feel no sympathy for you, because you deserve everything nefarious and more. You are disingenuous and vitriolic. You have no soul," Draco spat, "not even the dementors want you."

Draco wiped his tears away with his hand and spoke to him for the last time, "It is easy to hate someone, but it takes great strength to love someone." Draco spoke with courage and with assertion. "I guess I'm just not that strong." He said. "And you do not deserve my love or forgiveness."

With that, he turned away. He walked, moving closer to his family and further away from his father with each step.

_I'm so proud of you sweetheart,_ Harry whispered, in Draco's mind.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry worried that he would call out Draco's name during sex, because that is whom he thought about when it was happening. He had to be constantly aware of what he was doing and saying, especially during mid-orgasm when he was most at risk of slipping up. He was not able to relax even when releasing.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

One of Draco's favourite things to do was to watch Astoria teach Scorpius how to read. Draco thought that they would start teaching him to read when he turned four, yet Astoria insisted that he should learn earlier. Draco had looked at the newly turned three year old doubtfully. "He can do it Draco," Astoria had assured him, "he's like you."

And she had been right.

She sat on a great, big armchair that was sitting next to the warm fireplace. The room was well lit, as both Astoria and Draco knew that to read, one needed good lighting. Scorpius sat on her lap and Astoria held the book so that they could both see. She moved her index finger along the line they were reading so that Scorpius knew where they were.

"They waited patiently for what seemed a very long time, stamping in the snow to keep their feet warm. At last they heard the sound of slow shuffling footsteps approaching the floor from the inside. It seemed, as the Mole remarked to the Rat, like someone walking in the carpet slippers that were too large for him and down at heel; which was intelligent of the Mole, because that was exactly what he was." Astoria read. She the said to Scorpius, "Your turn."

Scorpius pursed his lips in concentration for a few moments and Draco was stunned into shock; so _that_ was the look Harry had told him about. It was…beautiful. Priceless. "There was the… noy-se–"

"Noise," Astoria gently corrected.

"Noise," Scorpius repeated.

"Right," she praised. Smiling she said, "Start from the start."

"There was the _noise _of a bolt shot back," seeing the comma, Scorpius took a second to pause and then continued, "and the door opened a few inches, enough to show a long sno_o_t–"

"Snout," she fixed.

"What is a _snout_, mother?" Scorpius asked, grey eyes blinking up in curiosity.

"What is this on your face?" Astoria asked, touching Scorpius' little nose.

"A nose," he answered.

"Well, a pig's nose is different from everyone else's isn't it?" she asked and Scorpius nodded. "So we call pig's nose a snout. Moles have snouts too. Keep going."

"…enough to show a long _snout_ and a pair of sleepy, blinking eyes." Scorpius read. It almost flowed, however some of his words had pauses at the end or breaks in the syllables. Astoria didn't mind that each word was stressed, he was learning and progressing and that was all she way concerned about.

Astoria took over from Scorpius. "'Now, the very net this happens,' said a gruff and suspicious voice, 'I shall be exceedingly angry. Who is it _this_ time, disturbing people on such a night? Speak up!'" She said. "'What, Ratty, my dear little man!' exclaimed the Badger, in quite a different voice. 'Come along in, both of you, at once, why, you must be perished. Well I never! Lost in the snow! And in he Wild Wood, too, and at this time of night! But come in with you.'"

Scorpius looked at his mother and she gave him an encouraging nod. "The two animals tum-bled over each other in their ea-ger-ness to get inside, and heard the door shut behind them with great joy and rel-i-_eff_."

"Relief," Astoria pronounced for him. "Well done. Now, if you brush your teeth and hop into bed quickly, I'll come and read you the next chapter when I come to say goodnight. Alright?"

"Yes mother," Scorpius replied. She kissed him the cheek and then scooped him off her lap and watched him scurry out of the drawing room.

"He is a very bright child," Draco noted.

"I know," Astoria smiled, and then added, "I wonder where he gets that from."

"His mother," Draco replied, it was true after all.

"That's true," she mused. Draco laughed and Astoria laughed as well. "He's _all_ you, Draco. Can't you see it? He looks exactly like you, and he's as bright as you too." She leaned her head against his shoulder.

Scorpius _did_ look exactly like him; he had his blonde hair, his grey eyes and his pale skin. Draco knew from the way that Scorpius looked intently at the words on the pages that his mother read him that they _did_ share many similarities. "He is a lot like you too," Draco told her. "He watches. He understands."

She looked up at him and then slowly and softly pressed her lips on his. He kissed her back; he always kissed her back, but never for longer than absolutely necessary. "You should go and read to him," he said, breaking away.

Astoria looked down, biting down on her lip so that it wouldn't tremble. "Yeah," she said quietly, "I should."

Later on when Scorpius asked, "Mother, what's wrong?" She understood what Draco had said: he _did_ watch, he _did_ understand. And it made her sad to know that, growing up, he would realise that his parents' love was not that type of real.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"You have to think of a memory that fills you up." Harry explained. He felt himself echoing Remus Lupin's words and it felt right that Harry was teaching Teddy, Remus' son, how to do this, since he had taught Harry. "Something strong, it has to be very strong; a positive strong, happy. Something that you can feel spread through you to the tips of your fingers."

Teddy twirled his wand in his hand. He had lime green hair and looked up at Harry with that Tonks twinkle in his eye. "Yeah okay," he smirked.

"It's not that easy," he warned, "you have to concentrate."

Teddy huffed. "Okay, okay, fine." He closed his eyes.

"Do you have your memory?" Harry asked him, checking. He looked around at the rest of the class, which were spread about around the Quidditch pitch. Harry had been asked to take this class to introduce them to Patronus Charms. Naturally, knowing that space was essential, Harry took the class out onto the Quidditch pitch.

"Yes," Teddy replied. His eyebrows were knitted together in concentration and his hair turned a familiar hade of silvery blonde, making Harry smirk.

"Okay, give it a go," Harry encouraged, "_Expecto Patronum._"

Teddy took in a breath. "_Expecto Patronum!_" he exclaimed. He opened his eyes and looked at his wand. His face fell in disappointment.

"I didn't get it the first go either," Harry told him. "You have to keep practising, it's the only way you'll produce a Patronus." Harry turned to assist the others, but not before adding, "Oh, and when we're you going to tell me about you and Victoire?" Harry raised his eyebrows but grinned.

"How…" but then he groaned, "My hair's blonde isn't it?"

Harry laughed and nodded, shrugging, "It gave it away."

Teddy blushed but shrugged; trying to make it seem like Harry knowing was unimportant. "Yeah…"

Harry walked up and put an arm around the teenager's shoulder and hugged him, placing a kiss on his forehead.

"So you don't think that…you know…"

"It doesn't matter what I think; it doesn't matter what _anyone _thinks." Harry told him. "But I _do_ think she's lovely."

"Thanks Harry," Teddy said sincerely, smiling quietly. Harry ruffled his hair before moving on, hoping that Teddy really did take into account that his opinion needed to come before everyone else's.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"Is that…?" Draco asked slowly, as he observed the twisted branches that Astoria had drawn.

"Yes," she replied. "We haven't been down there in a while."

"I do not like going there, it reminds me of horrible times."

"I don't either."

Draco didn't understand, "So why are you drawing it?"

She sighed. "Because it's all I can think about," she confessed, "all I can think about is that tree. I don't know why."

Draco was hit with a powerful sense of déjà vu; they had had this conversation before, many years ago. Draco knew why it was on her mind. And it was not the first time he doubted his spell work.

After Draco had fallen asleep, Astoria was left with her frustration, and her confusion, and all of her unanswered questions that were turning into regular headaches.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Ginny was stomach down on the bed, hands clutching the sheets, as Harry thrust into her from behind. Her hips pushed back involuntarily and Harry wrapped his arm around her stomach and pulled her up so that his chest as against her back. He always made sure that her needs came before his; she would never be able to fill his needs. It wasn't thought in a resentful way, it was just the truth, just how it was.

His hand slid down and touched her in the way he knew it would make her feel good. Her hands reached behind and ran down his side. Her thin hands were soft, like silk. His hips stuttered as his thoughts went to Draco. They always went to Draco, even after all this time.

He missed the way that he had been taken care of. He missed letting everything go, not having to worry about anything. He missed the way that Harry would move into him, take over him; he missed the way that he would give himself to Harry. He thought about having Harry thrust into him, how it felt. Harry let out a low keen at the memory of having that spot hit inside him, how the feeling would shoot all through his body.

He felt lonely.

The way he placed his hands on Ginny's shoulders, bent his legs and pushed himself into her, it was only physical. The room was dark and quiet and the only sound that could be heard was two people having sex.

No one knew what it felt like. No one knew what it felt like to be intimate with someone who you didn't love, who you didn't want to share yourself with. It was empty love. He felt so lonely.

He had to control himself, will things to happen, will himself to be aroused. Everything was for appearance, to keep the image, to keep the secret a secret. He knew that Draco would have felt surrounded by the constant paranoia as well. Every orgasm was never partnered with the surging feeling of love that had once made him feel warm and alive. It was a constant struggle. Every kiss he gave, he had to fight to keep his lips from pursing and from flinching away.

He always resorted to searching through the library that was his memory, pulling out the book and opening it to remember what had been.

_He pulled Harry's shirt over his head and flung it on another desk. Harry propped himself up and sat on the corner of a desk. He wrapped his legs around Draco's waist and pulled the close. They brought their mouths together and kissed. The kisses weren't long and slow, they were rapid and short. They were needy. So fierce they were that they missed their mouth all together but just kissed whatever inch of skin they could find. Harry fumbled with Draco's shirt and tie and eventually became frustrated and just ripped them off. Harry went for Draco's neck while Draco muttered protection spells around them, using the little coherency that he still possessed..._

_...It's okay," Draco said soothingly and he put a hand back on Harry's lower back and rubbed in circles relaxingly, "it's almost over." Draco pushed in a little further and then he came to a stop. All of him was in Harry and he allowed time for the Gryffindor to adjust. Harry let out a heavy breath. _

_Draco let out an unthinking moan of pleasure, "Shit you feel so good." He rolled his hips lightly. _

_The pain started to fade and was replaced by a neutral feeling. Rationality came back to Harry and he remembered that he was still rock hard. "Move," Harry groaned, "do something."_

"_How fast do you want me to go?"_

"_Mmmh," he responded with his eyes closed, "fuck me."_

_Draco complied. He pulled out of Harry but not all the way and then pushed back in. He continued to hold onto Harry's hips while Harry still had his hands on the desk in front of his. Harry's smell intoxicated Draco; it drove the blond crazy. Draco thrust into Harry harder this time. _

"_Godric yes," Harry gasped gripping the table so hard that his knuckles turned white. _

_Oh you haven't felt anything yet, Draco thought naughtily. This time when he thrust into Harry's arse he pushed a little higher. Harry's stomach tensed and he cried out loud. _

"_Sh-shit!" Harry exclaimed. His arms trembled. "Ughn, that feels really good." _

"_I know," Draco said huskily. His whole body had become attuned to the part of him that was buried in Harry. Heat pulsated to his cock; he had never felt so amazing. _

"_This is what I've been missing out on?"_

"_I told you," Draco smirked "there's a reason I like bottoming, Potter."_

_Draco drew out of Harry completely making Harry whimper and then slammed back into him. _

"_Draco!" Harry called out. _

Harry came hard and he shuddered as he did, thinking about Draco and thinking about how he loved him.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

He missed the way his hands would always have a rough feel from all the time he spent clutching a broomstick. Although they would always handle Draco gently, Harry's hands felt masculine, like they would protect him in his hold.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry felt like concrete – stiff and lifeless. His lips were a hard line on his face, the centre of a pained portrait. He sat rigidly on an uncomfortable chair in a room that had too much white.

_How could you do that?_

When Harry had heard of what had happened, whatever he had been holding in his hands he had dropped. This was because he had had lost all of his ability to feel – other than the extreme worry.

_How could you do that to me?_

_You promised me_.

Harry watched the rise and fall of an unconscious chest, lying there.

_By hurting yourself, you hurt me._

He watched the sleeping body lying there in the bed. St. Mungo's was extremely busy for this time of the day, so no healer or patient entered the room.

Harry hadn't seen Draco Malfoy for many years, hadn't spoken to him for longer than that. He had had a feeling that something like this would have happened sooner or later.

Draco Malfoy twitched and Harry's eyes would have snapped onto the blonde's face, however, they had already been on him for almost two hours. Even after all these years his face was still perfect and flawless; his now sickly pale complexion could not even mask his beauty.

_I miss you…_

Draco's breathing pattern changed and his eyebrows knitted together as his eyelids slowly opened. For the first time, Harry wondered if him being here would make things worse.

Draco's eyes focused and he blinked a few times as he took in his surroundings. Then, his eyes found the ones that he had dreamed about for almost everyday for eleven years. He wondered if Harry was real, or if he had really succeeded in his selfish attempt to escape the world in which he lived without him.

"Harry?" Draco spoke.

Harry looked at him unflinchingly. He gave a single nod.

Draco didn't ask why Harry was here, because he knew why, and he didn't know how long he would be here for so he wouldn't waste time with questions he already knew the answer to.

"I'm sorry," Draco said in an almost silent voice.

The air in Harry's lungs was heavy. He swallowed the lump in his throat. Harry couldn't see the physical cuts on his love's body, as they had been healed instantly with a simple spell, but he could see how marred Draco was on the inside. It was worse than it had ever been throughout their years at Hogwarts, and that hurt Harry badly, like a whip slashing his body.

"How could you do that to me?"

And that, Draco decided, was a pain worse than the blade had been on his skin and the poison that had burned him as it had run through his veins. Harry's words rang out loud, even though they were so quiet, through the empty room.

"I did not mean to hurt you I–"

"Meant to hurt yourself?" Harry finished, it was filled with sadness so great that it sounded like agony. "That does hurt me. If you hurt, I hurt. I thought you knew that. Did you think I forgot? Well I'm sorry but I can't. I try. I try so hard but I can't stop thinking about you." Harry stopped and then continued, willing himself to be calmer. "Why did you do it? What would it have achieved?"

"I–"

"You have a family!" Harry tried his hardest to yell but his words were restricted by the overwhelming urge to cry. "You have a family who loves you, who you love too."

"I don't–"

"I know you don't love her in that way, but you do love her, you care about her." Draco's eyes began to glisten and he wanted to look somewhere else but he hadn't seen those green eyes in so long, too long. "You have a son!" Harry hissed. "You love him and he loves you because you are an extraordinary father. You have your mother, and while that was never what she was when you needed it most, what would she have left if you were gone? You have a life Draco, and _it's worth living_. You've got so much. You've got–" Harry stopped. He squeezed his eyes shut. His exhale was shaky and his eyes filled with tears. He didn't bother to keep his voice steady. "You've got _me_."

Draco felt the emptiness inside of him, really realised how alone he felt in a world full of people. There was only one person that was ever important. He felt like he had cried all throughout his early adult years and even now he still cried. Yet after all the years, and all the times Harry had told him it was okay, he still felt the need to control things.

"It's okay to cry," Harry said quietly, "It's just me."

But it wasn't _just_ him; it _was _him. Draco's hands clutched the crisp white sheets of the bed and the tears cascaded down his thin, pale cheeks. His chest began to heave with the powerful force of his sobs.

"You thought I forgot didn't you?" Harry murmured, eyes averted down. Draco cried harder. Both men wanted to touch; just something as simple as fingers brushing against each other; just something to say _'I'm here, I'm real, I love you'_.

Harry put his put his hand down his own shirt and pulled out the pocket watch that hung around his neck. "I could never forget," Harry told him. "The reason I wake up everyday is to see that number change, because life is nothing if you don't have love. If you're gone–" Harry choked on a dry sob, gasping air into him, "Why would you do that to me? Why? I love you!"

"I'm sorry," Draco breathed, his eyes red from the torrent of tears. He looked at Harry and then down at his hands, asking, but not.

"I can't," Harry said, his voice filled with pain, like it was physically hurting him, "I wish I could."

Draco looked at him with pleading eyes. "Please," he asked in a desperate, broken, almost silent voice, "please Harry."

Harry hesitated, his self-control faltered; he fought not to give in, because if he did it would be worse afterwards, and right now it was on the brink of unbearable. "I want to," he said, "but I won't be able to stop."

Draco shook his head. "I just want to hold your hand," he said, "that is all. Please? I just–, I need–, please I–"

Harry reached out and their hands gripped each other's in a desperate reunion. Their fingers fumbled around, trying to agree on a grasp. It was like that was all he needed, just his touch. He felt rejuvenation recharge him, set fire to his bones.

"It's you," Draco choked out.

"It's me," Harry agreed, his tone everything Draco remembered it to be. And from then on it was a comfortable silence. They simply held each other's hands and looked into each other's eyes and it was enough. Somehow they knew what the other was thinking and they would give a nod of understanding. They had missed each other's company.

_I don't want to be here for much longer,_ Draco thought. Harry saw it in his eyes and his lip trembled and he shook his head. Draco brought Harry's hand up to his lips and kissed it thrice. Harry's lips pinched together as he tried to manage his breathing, trying and failing not to cry. Draco comforted him by running his thumb over the top of Harry's hand. The commotion of the hospital did not disturb them. The sounds of the outside world did not penetrate the bubble that they were in.

"Promise me," Harry said, "promise me you will not hurt yourself again."

Draco did not want to lie to him but he had no reason to agree. Yes, Harry was a reason, but he needed more than that and Harry sensed it too.

"Draco, promise me."

Draco swallowed but his lips remained shut, he looked into Harry's eyes and willed him to understand.

"Please, sweetheart?" Harry asked, his voice breaking. "Please don't hurt yourself anymore."

"I m–miss you," Draco sniffed.

"I miss you too, baby." Harry replied, giving a watery smile. "You're so beautiful."

"I promise," Draco said.

"Honest?"

"Honest."

"Thank you," Harry breathed out. He brought his hand up to Draco's hair and stroked it gently. Draco closed his eyes and turned into the touch. "Sleep. I'll be here," Harry promised.

"I love you," Draco whispered through closed eyes, breathing in Harry's scent.

"I love you too," Harry smiled.

Harry wasn't sure how long they were there for, but he knew was that Draco was going to be okay. He kept looking at his lips and thinking about how much he wanted to press his own against them. He felt whole. They were here together. They–

"Potter?"

Harry's head snapped to the side. There stood Narcissa Malfoy. Harry's face was frozen. Her eyes fell on the place their hands were entwined together and where Draco's head was resting with Harry's hand under his cheek.

She paled and her lips were pressed together tightly. "His wife will be here shortly," she told him. It wasn't cruel, but it was clipped, and Harry knew that she had had a feeling.

Harry nodded. He turned back to face Draco, who was asleep, and carefully removed his fingers from the grooves of Draco's own. He slowly slipped his hand out from underneath Draco's head. And then Harry Potter made a decision. He _wanted_ her to see. He _wanted_ the sight and the knowledge to eat her alive, to be at the forefront of her mind for the rest of her living days. He _wanted_ her to know that Draco was not okay because she didn't have the courage to help him. He _wanted_ her to know that even though she had never been there for him, _Harry_ had.

Harry leaned forward and pressed his lips softly against Draco's, wanting to never pull away, "Bye sweetheart."

With a final parting glance, Harry stood up and left the room, not letting his tears escape him until he was back in the safety and vacancy of his own home.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"But Gin," Harry sighed, "I have a report to finish."

"And I have an article to proof read," Ginny replied evenly. "It's _your_ turn to tuck her in."

"Alright, alright," Harry finally agreed, he decided he would save himself for a more important argument; like when Ginny asked why they couldn't have sex more often.

Leaving his desk, he went up two floors to where his little four year old daughter, Lily, awaited patiently in her bed for someone to read her a story.

Harry knocked on the door softly first and then entered. "I wonder where Lily is?" Harry asked loudly and purposefully. He looked into the room and found it empty, save a little lump under the red covers of Lily's bed. Harry smiled to himself. A small giggle issued from the bed. "She can't be in the drawers, because she's such a grown up now she wouldn't fit," Harry said. He quietly made his way over to the bed, talking as he went, "She can't in the kitchen because I was just there and she was no where to be seen." Harry's hands hovered over the covers, "Maybe…maybe my lovely Lily is under here." His hands pounced on the spot where Lily was under and he tickled her through the covers. Lily squealed and threw the covers off herself, her face scrunched up in glee.

Harry scooped her up and placed her under the covers, making sure they were nice and neat. "Time for bed, petal."

"Story!" Lily demanded with a smile, her two front teeth missing.

"Alright," Harry agreed, "Beetle and the Bard?"

Lily shook her head, "Something new, daddy."

Something new? "Well…" Harry searched for something appropriate to retell to his daughter, "how about the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears?"

Lily gave him her bright, toothless smile and nodded her head, while she pulled the covers up to her chin as Harry began telling the Muggle fable.

Lily giggled as Harry changed his voice to suit the characters that were speaking; a deep, grumbly voice for papa bear; a soft, sweet voice for mamma bear; a high-pitched voice for baby bear; and a bubbly, girlie voice for Goldilocks. After Lily's eyes had fluttered closed and Harry was sure she was asleep, Harry leaned down and pressed a kiss to her red hair. "Goodnight, sweetheart." Harry whispered. Lily was the only one who he called sweetheart, because that term of endearment was incredibly close to his heart and would only be used for two special people in Harry's life: his little girl and his true love.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Five year old Scorpius sat on his grandmother's lap as she read the Daily Prophet to him, insisting that a young boy should know of the happenings in the world.

"What is a '_Mudblood'_, grandmother?" Scorpius asked innocently, as the word was unknown to him.

Astoria looked up from the letter she had been writing to her sister, her eyes finding Draco's, unsure of how to respond. Narcissa did not even batter an eyelid.

"A Mudblood is a witch or a wizard who is not a true witch or wizard because they come from Muggle families. They have dirty blood unlike you and I Scorpius; we have clean blood because all of our family is magical. Mudbloods live in the Wizarding world with us and they attend the same schools as us, but they do not truly belong with us. They–"

"That is _enough_," Draco snapped at his mother, his eyes shining furiously. "How dare you tell him that. How dare you teach him falsely."

"Come now Draco, the boy must be educated in the ways of the Wizarding world."

"He is _five years old_, mother. I will not allow my son to know the meaning of foul, untrue words. I will not have my son brought up in bigotry. I do not believe in that offensive term and neither does Astoria, and we will not have our son believe in it either. Scorpius will _not_ be raised the same way that I was – in believing that we are better than others because of our blood type. Do not ever use that word again, mother, I will not tolerate it – especially around my son."

"Draco," Narcissa said calmly, "you can not raise your son to be ignorant about his blood status. I thought that I had taught you better than to give into the petty beliefs of our society that we are all equal. You, and your son, _are_ above others."

"Yes, and I turned out perfectly, didn't I mother?" Draco glared at her, his sarcasm dripping resentment and bitterness. "You do not have a say in how Astoria and I raise our son, he is _our_ child, not yours. We have both agreed that we want him to be raised in the way we wished that we were: in kindness, love, empathy and tolerance. I expect that you respect our wishes, and not teach our son discriminatory terms."

Narcissa sighed in a disapproving manner with pursed lips, "Very well, Draco."

"_That_ is how you are unlike your father," Astoria whispered to him. "I'm proud of you, Draco."

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"I need to settle things between us," Draco began as he and his mother sat down. "  
>I need for you to know how I feel."<p>

This was incredibly hard for Draco, to explain how he had felt for such a long time. He _had_ to do this though. He had to push through the uncomfortableness because it was the only way she could understand – through communication.

"As a child and a teenager, I was mistreated by my father. He never cared about you or I. I could not defend myself. I needed you to protect me, and you didn't. I needed you to shield me and to support me, because you are my mother and that was your job. You didn't."

Narcissa looked at him, the blood had drained from her face and she looked small. He continued, "I understand you were insecure and afraid because he oppressed you. You were blind to what went on when you were not there. I used to think that I was not upset with you, but then I realised that I was, that I had every right to be. Mother, he did horrible things, but you failed to protect me from them. I feel angry and disappointed and resentful, and I have felt that way for a long time."

He thought of Harry's words, what he had been told by him such a long time ago, and he voiced them, almost word for word as they were imprinted into his memory. "I know that he hurt you too, and I know that it has never truly left you, but you have been able to move on from it. I know that you lived in fear. We both lived in fear, perhaps you more so than me. As an adult, I now understand how hard it would have been to want to keep me safe but battle with your husband and everything that was going on; I understand that you lived under a dictatorship and it affected us all. I know that you love me and care for me deeply, even though it was never displayed. You found it hard to protect me because you lacked the self-confidence and you felt like you had no voice. You were never assertive with father; you never reinstated your own rights let alone mine and I realise that it was almost impossible taking into consideration the type of person he was. Neither of us was strong. I just needed for you to hear how I felt and know that while I understand, you could have made and difference and you didn't, and because of that…things turned out differently."

After that, their interaction was the same, but there was peace between them. _Thank you_, Draco thought.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"Dad?"

Harry looked up from the pot plant on the window sill, wondering how on Earth it had grown in such an odd and deranged direction. "Yes?"

"What's your favourite colour?" Albus asked.

"Mine?" Harry asked, taken off guard by the question. Albus nodded and Lily looked up from the picture she was colouring in.

"Mine's yellow," she told him.

"That's lovely," Harry smiled. Lily beamed. "I suppose my favourite colour is…"

His eyes looked off into the distance and he thought about which colour made him feel the most emotion.

"…Grey."

The word had whispered itself out of Harry's mouth, almost like they had danced off into the air. Harry didn't realise that he had said it until Lily spoke.

"Grey?" pronouncing it ga-_ray_ in her scepticism. She looked at him as if he was joking. "Daddy, that's a terrible colour."

"Lily," Albus frowned, "if he likes it, it's not nice to say that."

"But it is!" Lily stressed.

"What's wrong with grey?" Harry asked.

"_Ever_ything!" Lily replied, the same time as Albus replied, "Nothing."

"I think it's a nice colour," Harry defended, pouting a bit.

"Why do you like it? It's so dull!" Lily told him.

"Well," Harry began, "it's the colour of a storm, stones and rocks, wolves and whales, cats and elephants…eyes."

"Eyes?" Lily asked, surprised.

"Yes," Harry said quietly. "Grey eyes are beautiful."

"I've never seen anybody have grey eyes," Lily said, "Have you?"

Harry nodded. He knew someone with grey eyes, beautiful silver eyes. He new someone whose eyes were framed with the perfect lashes and belonged to the perfect face…

"Who?" Albus asked, as quietly as his father had now become.

"A boy…" Harry tried not to pause to long so that he could answer his son, "…a boy who I used to go to school with."

"What was his name?" Albus asked his father, the seven year old looking at him absorbedly.

"Draco," Harry said, his voice now so low he wondered how Albus could hear him, "Draco Malfoy."

Albus waited a moment before asking his last question, "Where you friends?"

Harry looked back at the oddly shaped plant and realised that it didn't matter what shape it was or how, or why, it grew in that way; that was the way it was, and it was a plant all the same.

"No," Harry said, "We weren't friends."

_We were more than that…_

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"Mother, what is your favourite colour?" Scorpius asked Astoria.

Astoria looked up from her painting and swivelled around on her stool so that she was facing her son. She picked up the palette that she had placed on the small table beside her and held it down for her Scorpius to see.

"What is _your_ favourite colour _mon cher?_" Astoria smiled, running her free hand through his blonde hair.

"Blue," he said.

"This one?" Astoria pointed to the dark blue colour. Scorpius shook his head and pointed at the blue next to it. "The light blue? I like that one too."

"Is that the one you like the most?" Scorpius questioned.

Astoria thought for a moment and then found a spare piece of paper. She mixed some new paint on her palette: red, yellow and a bit of black. With a swirl of her brush the paint was brushed onto the paper. "I like this," she told him, "a burnt orange."

Scorpius stared at it, scrunching his nose a bit. "Too lurid?" she asked, smirking.

"'Lurid'?" he frowned.

"Yes," she said, "it means loud, bright, colourful, shocking…it is the opposite of dull."

Scorpius nodded, "Yes, too _lurid_."

Astoria gave a tinkling laugh, "You are exactly like your father."

"What is father's favourite colour?" Scorpius asked.

"Why don't you go and ask him?" Astoria suggested. "I think he's his study." Scorpius nodded and walked out into the hallway. "Remember to knock!" He heard his mother call out.

Scorpius reached the black door and brought his little fist up to the wood, knocking. He heard his father say 'come in' and he pushed the door open with all the strength the seven year old could muster.

Draco smiled and Scorpius stumbled into the room and then immediately composed himself, "Yes, I used to do the same when I was your age." He made a note to somehow apologise to his son for having the same skinny build that he himself had.

"Father," Scorpius said timidly, "I have a question."

Draco put down his pen in the middle of his writing book and closed it, "What is your question?"

"What is your favourite colour?"

Draco blinked in surprise. "I…green."

"Oh, like Slytherin." Scorpius said, thinking that he understood the reason behind his father's colour choice.

"No," Draco said. "A green that is a bit brighter, not so much emerald but more…a chartreuse green."

"What kind of green is _that_?"

"Why don't you ask your mother to show it to you?" Draco suggested.

Scorpius nodded and then headed towards the door, but before leaving he turned around to face his father again. "Why do you like that colour?"

"I like that particular colour because…" Draco tried to think of a way to answer his son. He tried to think of something, anything, but all he could picture was Harry's face, his eyes. "…Because I like the way it makes me feel."

When Astoria showed Scorpius exactly what chartreuse looked like, Scorpius decided that he liked that much better than light blue.

Astoria had mixed that colour before.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"What should I get, dad?" Albus asked Harry. The Potter family walked through Eeylops Owl Emporium.

"Get a rat," James suggested.

"James," Harry said warningly. James grinned and then ran off as he saw one of his friends.

"Rose is getting a cat," Albus said thoughtfully.

"I hate cats," Lily said, "They're lazy. Get an owl, Albus."

Albus looked up at his dad. "You get whatever you like the most, Al." Harry told him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Tell you what, you go and have a browse around while I talk to uncle Ron and then come and find us when you've decided."

Albus nodded and then he and Lily went to look at all of the animals, reptiles and amphibians. Harry asked Ron how Hermione and Rose were coming along with all their school shopping. Ron shook his head and sighed, telling Harry that he had taken Hugo and the two of them escaped the, 'deadly atmosphere of those two and their bloody obsession with books.'

Albus came back with a smile on his face and a creature in his arms. Lily rolled her eyes and gave Albus a look that said Albus-Severus-Potter-that-is-_so_-you. "Can I get him?" Albus asked.

Harry looked at the ferret with wide eyes. "Uh," he said, looking for the correct words, "yeah. If…if that's what you like." Albus nodded surely, patting the dark coloured ferret on the head. Ron laughed and nudged Harry.

"Reminds me of the time Mad-Eye transfigured Malfoy into a ferret," Ron grinned.

Harry turned to Albus and said, "I think it's an excellent choice."

"Albus what _on Earth_ is _that_?"

Everyone turned around to find Rose staring at Albus with her mouth open. "It's a ferret," Albus said, sounding defensive, "I like him." Rose's expression then transformed into an almost identical of Lily's.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry stared out of the kitchen window of the Burrow, smiling. All the children, Weasleys, Potters and Lupins alike, were home for the holidays. They were immersed in a game of Quidditch with lots of healthy competition. Harry knew that at some point an argument would inevitably break out and Ginny would have to be called to referee. He had been asked to call them all in for lunch, but he knew that if he interrupted their game they would probably aim a bludger at him. _Oh well_, Harry thought, _at least Hermione's here to heal any injuries._

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Ron and Harry laughed as they drank their butterbeers. "You've still got it don't you?" Ron asked. "You haven't given it to James or Albus have you?"

"Of course not," Harry assured him, "can you imagine. Ginny and I would be receiving weekly letters from McGonagall informing us of our son's detention, yet again."

"You already do," Ron grinned and Harry laughed; James Potter was exactly like his grandfather, that much was certain.

"I'll go get it actually." Harry got up from his chair and walked up the stairs and down the corridor to his study. Standing on his toes, he reached up and opened the cupboard. His hand felt around the cupboard and he frowned, as he couldn't feel the piece of parchment he was looking for.

"_Accio Marauder's Map!_" Harry said, flicking his wand. But nothing came. "But I always keep it up here," Harry said in disbelief. "Where else would I have pu–" Harry stopped mid-question as the answer came to him, and he groaned. His shook his head and smiled to himself in amusement, "James Sirius Potter."

Later that night when Harry told Ginny that James had taken the map, Ginny told him that James was exactly like him and what else had he expected? Harry thought it would be only fair that the Cloak went to Albus. He knew that Lily Luna Potter didn't need a map or an invisibility cloak to get away with things.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"How are you finding it?" Astoria asked Scorpius as the three of them ate dinner.

"It is challenging," Scorpius admitted.

"Are you finding it difficult to think of a memory?" she guessed.

"My memories don't seem to be strong enough," he replied.

"The Patronus Charm is particularly complex," Draco reasoned.

"What is it you think of?" Scorpius asked, genuinely curious. Draco blinked in surprise at the question, thinking about the memories he thought about to conjure a patronus…

…_"I love you," he said, his breathing beginning to stabilize.  
><em>

_Harry moved his hand down to Draco's head and stroked his hair tenderly "I love you too," he whispered. Draco breathed in contently; this was perfection._

…

"_Draco?" Harry whispered. Draco closed his eyes and inhaled deeply; using each other's first names was still both new and it had the most amazing effect. _

_"Hmm?" _

_Draco turned to face Harry and begun to slowly run his finger up Harry's thigh leaving a trail of goosebumps. _

"_I love you."_

_Harry had meant to say it quickly but it came out much slower than he had intended. Draco's finger froze on Harry's hip.  
><em>

…

_Draco gave a small hollow laugh but then turned serious, "I've never really had a chance to be Draco."_

_Harry nodded. "I won't judge him." He leaned in closer and felt Draco's breath. _

_Draco's breathing quickened, "Why not?"_

"_Because," Harry murmured, inching forward slowly, "I have something to ask him and I want him not to judge me."_

_Draco swallowed and closed his eyes as he felt Harry's breath centimetres away from his lips.  
><em>

"_What's the question?"_

"_I love you." Harry said and his voice could have been made out of smoothest of silk. _

_Draco opened his eyes, which were glazed over with want, "That's not a question."_

_Harry looked into the grey eyes of the Slytherin beneath him. "Yes it is."_

_The two boys were less than an inch apart. So all it took was for Draco to arch his back slightly and their lips met. The kiss was long and heated. It was slow, but that intensified it even more. It left the two boys panting. _

"_I love you too." Draco whispered._

**...**

_Two hours later the boys stood at the top of the Eiffel tower overlooking Paris. They could see the cars on the street, the rooftops, the people, the buildings, the trees – everything. They were fairly high but it was if they were a few feet off the ground to Harry. Draco closed his eyes, he felt so free being this high up with the cold wind blowing on his face. He felt Harry's lips press up against his. _

"_Thank you for bringing me here," Harry said as he rested his head on Draco's shoulder, "and I love you."_

"_I love you too," Draco replied kissing the top of Harry's head._

…

"_Love you too," Harry said back. Draco pulled out his wand to Apparate. "Wait!" Harry said suddenly. _

"_What is i–umph!" Harry pulled Draco into a final tight hug before unwillingly letting the Slytherin go. _

"_Now go, before I decide to not let you go." he kissed Draco firmly on the lips. "Bye. I love you."_

_Draco stared lovingly at his boyfriend. "I love you too Harry," he said with a small smile and then he vanish with a crack. The holiday ended as Harry, too, vanished._

…

_And Harry was willing to wait however long was necessary to share that with the world. "Because I love you," Harry said simply, "and because you're worth every second."_

…

_They pressed their foreheads together, caressing their faces. "You're eyes make the stars invisible you know," Harry said. "I love you just the way you are."_

…

_The only thing allowing him to do these things was the sole knowledge that this would save Harry's life and that was a reason as good as any if not better. _

"_Write to me?"_

"I'll try," it was the best Draco could offer; he would not tell Harry he would when he might not be able to at all. The future was to unpredictable at this stage.

This was just another sign that things were not okay, we're Harry's thoughts. Nonetheless he nodded and whispered, "I love you."

**…**

_Harry fixed him with a look. "You can't speak during another person's WIFLE."_

_Draco rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry, please continue."_

"_Thank you," Harry said, "and I'm just really happy that you're back with me because I missed you so much. I realised what it was like not to have you here and it was so different. I felt really lonely but I felt worried and scared too because I didn't know how you were. And…I love you."_

…

_He thrust into him one last time before pulling out. Harry lay next to him, trembling from the force of his climax. Draco wrapped his strong arms around his waist and pulled him close. Harry rested his head against Draco's chest. _

"_Love you," Harry whispered, "love you, I love you so much."_

_Draco pecked Harry's forehead, "I love you too, Harry."_

…

_"__I love you," Harry whispered into Draco's chest._

_"__Thank you," Draco said, "I love you too."_

…

"_We need to go," Draco said. _

"_Come back to me," Harry said with searching eyes. _

"_I promise," Draco said again. He brought his hand up to cup Harry's cheek, looking at him lovingly. "You need to go and save the world."_

"_I love you."_

"_I love you."_

…

"_Why are you here?" He asked, his voice loud. _

_"Because I love you!" Harry burst out, equally as loud. Saying the words like they were the answer to the world's most simple equation. _

_Draco blinked. He didn't understand. "But…you left…you said…"_

"_I have always loved you, I never stopped! And I never will!" Harry said before taking a step forward and closing the gap between them that he decided would never be there again._

…

"_I love you," Harry said, his mouth speaking without his mind thinking, "I love you. I love you. Having sex with you is just…"_

"_Mmm," Draco responded, so far gone that words were beyond him…_

…"I think about the first time I held you," Draco lied. The truth was, he thought about Harry telling him that he loved him.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"_They will never take me from you, there is nothing that they can do."_

Draco remembered Harry saying this. "They cannot have taken you from me," Draco whispered, sitting in the sorrowful and naked braches of The Tree, "Because I haven't let go."

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"Dad?" Lily knocked on the door and entered her father's study. Harry looked up from the article he was reading about the new offices that were being built in the ministry and how they were being painted with a deep blue. Harry thought it would have a rather depressed effect. "Mum says dinner's ready."

Harry folded up the paper and got up from his chair, walking to his daughter and shut the door behind them. "So how was this term?" Harry asked Lily as they walked down the stairs of Grimmauld Place.

"Not bad," Lily shrugged.

"Not good?"

"Not _bad_, dad." Lily rolled her eyes and smiled.

"I think you should be saving 'not bad' until you're at least in your fourth year," Harry laughed, "you're only in your second year."

"Dad, seriously."

"_Seriously._"

Lily laughed and gave him a playful swat on the arm. They walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Harry sighed and shook his head in amusement at the sight of James' hair, he now understood why Mrs. Weasley would always battle to push it down; it was so _messy_.

"Did you finish your homework, James?" Ginny asked as she placed the food on the table. Harry reached over to tale Lily's plate and fill it up for her.

"Sort of," James mumbled. Harry took that as a 'definitely not'. He grabbed a bread roll, his mouth tearing off three quarters of it. Ginny sighed. "Wa?" James asked defensively, his mouth so full it was a wonder that the sound vibrations could escape.

"I don't even have to say anything," Ginny told him, to which James rolled his eyes.

"Mhmm, mum this is yum," Lily said as she reached for her glass. Ginny smiled and put some more potatoes on her plate.

"Hold on," Harry said suddenly. Lily, James and Ginny all looked up at him. "Where's Albus?"

"Being a whiny cunt," James replied darkly.

"Don't use that word!" Lily said angrily, "You know I hate it!"

"But that's what he's being!" James retorted. "I can't stand his moods anymore. He needs to get over himself."

"Excuse me," Ginny said sharply, glaring at her son. "James, not okay. That type of language is not used in this household. If I hear it again I will take away all your privileges, may Merlin strike me down with lighting. Is that clear?"

"Yeah," James mumbled sourly.

"Why is Albus in his room?" Harry asked.

Ginny turned to Harry. "He's upset at the moment," Ginny told him.

"What's the matter?" Harry asked, starting to feel worried. This was incredibly unlike her son.

"I don't know," Ginny replied, running her hand through her hair, "he won't let me in his room."

Harry stood up. Now he was worried. "I'll go and talk to him," Harry said, leaving his dinner. He wondered, as he walked, what had Albus so upset? He thought back to the previous letters Albus had written to him over the term. Nothing had seemed out of the ordinary.

He knocked on the door without hesitation. His tongue stuck out to wet his lips as he waited for a response that did not come. He knocked again but this time spoke. "Al?" No reply. "Al, it's me. Can I come in?" When Harry did not receive a response for the second time he was genuinely very concerned. He opened the door, knowing that it would not be locked; Albus was not allowed to use magic away from Hogwarts at the age of fourteen.

Harry opened the door to find Albus sitting against the head of his bed with his head in his hands and his body shaking with sobs. Harry's heart skipped a beat and he felt his stomach give an unpleasant surge. Harry's head tipped to the side a bit and he let out a heavy breath, "Oh Al."

He shut the door behind him and walked over to the bed. He sat down next to Albus, putting his arm around his son and used his other hand to hold Albus' head against his chest. Albus' body trembled as he cried, his eyes red and watery.

Albus tried to speak but couldn't find a balance between breathing, crying and talking so Harry just soothingly told him it was okay and that he could cry and he just held him. Harry had many connections to his son: their love for Quidditch, their average academic ability, their green eyes, and their caring nature. He hated how tears were other one of them. Harry remembered crying this hard; even though what is hurting you is so painful you have to focus on breathing in oxygen so that you don't slip away for real. When you're so upset and your emotions restrict your vision to a narrow tunnel and you can't ever see how you'll get out of what seems like an endless road of sadness. He hoped that Albus did not feel this way.

Harry placed a kiss to the top of Albus' head. "It's okay," he murmured, "it's okay."

"I–It's n–not," Albus choked out, shaking his head in Harry's grip.

"Of course it is," Harry told him. "It doesn't matter; everything will be okay."

Harry wanted to take away whatever Albus was feeling. He wanted Albus to know that _he_, Harry, was the parent, and he didn't have to worry about anything because Harry would make sure that everything would be alright.

"N–no it w–won't," Albus disagreed. Harry felt his tension and distress as he held him. He ran his hands through Albus' hair soothingly.

"Tell me what's going on," Harry said, "tell me what's got you so upset."

Albus drew a shaky breath. "There's something w–wrong with m–me dad," he agitatedly, his voice frantic and fearful, "There's…there's something…w–wrong…there's–"

"There is nothing wrong with you," Harry told him softly, "absolutely nothing."

"It's not…It's– It's not…"

"Are you hurt?" Harry asked him. Albus shook his head. "Are you sick?" Albus shook his head. "Are you hurting others?" Albus shook his head again. "Then there's nothing wrong with you Al, you're okay, I promise." He held him even tighter. "Tell me what's wrong?" Harry begged.

"I c–can't," Albus sobbed.

"Oh Al," Harry sighed sadly, "you can tell me anything, always, and nothing you say will make me think any less of you. None of us are perfect and that's okay. I thought that we could tell each other anything? I love you, your mother loves you, your sister loves you, James loves you, and we always will not matter what you think is wrong with you. You don't have to tell me, but I need for you to know that I am always here to listen to what you have to say. You will be fine."

"Pr–promise?"

"I promise you," Harry said fiercely, kissing Albus in the forehead. And right there, in his father's embrace, Albus felt safe.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"I give you everything!" Harry argued. "There has never been anything that you have asked for and I haven't given you."

"I know that!" Ginny shouted back.

"I love our children! I love our family! I make sure everyone is safe and happy!"

"I know!"

"I support you in your career! I respect you! I take care of you! I appreciate and value and love you!"

"I k–know!"

"Then what is it Ginny?" Harry asked her, his voice demanding and angry. "What do you want from me? What is it?"

"I d–don't know!" she cried. She sunk down into the chair beside her. "You're perfect, you're–"

"So you want me to be a horrible father and husband? You want me to disrespect you and not love you? You want me to leave?"

"No!" Ginny sobbed, she shook her head, looking tired and torn.

"Then what _do_ you want, Ginny?" Harry said exasperatedly.

"I don't…I d–don't know, Harry." Ginny said through her tears. Ginny couldn't fault Harry, he was everything a husband and father and person ought to be, but there was something missing, something that Harry wasn't giving her. Harry couldn't give her the type love she craved. He knew this, she didn't.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

The one thing all three Potter children had in common was that when they all agreed a dash of mischief was needed to spice up the scene, shit went down. "I want all three of you on your best behaviour," Harry had warned them, "you know how the Dursleys are. James that means you…No, I don't care…I mean it – behave. Don't make me bring your mother into this…I do not blackmail you…No, I don't…It was directed at all three of you…you have a tendency to misbehave, that's why…James, leave Albus' hair alone…Lily don't hit your brother…Ginny, please, say something…I _do_ state my authority…No, I– we're here. Okay, behave. I'm no going to ask again…yes, exactly what your mother just said."

"What are you planning?" Lily asked James, recognizing the calculating look in her brother's eyes that only meant one thing.

"Nothing," James said innocently.

Lily sniffed around. "Smell that?" she asked. "It smells like bullshit."

"Fuck off," James said playfully.

"You fuck off," Lily retorted cheekily. James grinned.

"Why does dad take us here? He hates it too." James said.

"It's only once a year," Albus reasoned.

"_Only_," James scoffed.

"I reckon we tell Dudley's kids that we brought along magically-enlarged, carnivorous wasps with us and we plan on setting them loose in the house," James suggested. Lily rolled her eyes, thinking about how her brother was ten rather than almost seventeen.

"James that is a stupid idea," Albus told him. James was about to tell his brother that he was a killjoy when Albus added, "Telling them that at Hogwarts, we are planning a mass invasion on muggles so that the Wizarding population will finally take over and rule the Earth would be _much_ more effective."

James and Lily laughed, and nodded in agreement, and Albus couldn't help but join in too. Harry eyed his laughing children wearily, hoping that they were _not_ up to no good. He sighed and shook his head, and then politely accepted a cup of tea from Dudley's wife Carol.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

She waited until he was gone.

Her headaches had begun to get worse. They were becoming more and more painful, and more and more frequent. Her head was hurting because there was something _there_. She knew that it sounded as of she were mad, but that was what it felt like. It felt like she was looking at a fuzzy screen that kept moving around and it was hurting her eyes, hence the headaches. She strained her mind trying to _see_ something that she couldn't make out. It was so frustrating that she would spend hours at a time trying to just think and nothing would come, but there was enough to know something was there. Like a memory that she couldn't remember.

Astoria explained this to the healer. "As if something is…for lack of better words, tickling your brain?" he asked, taking down notes.

"Yes," she replied.

"And how bad are the headaches, pain wise?"

"They've gotten worse progressively, over he years. The last few were…agonizing – sharp, severe – they were terrible."

He brought his pen to his mouth, chewing on the end as he scrutinized her. He looked at her for a long time, thinking. Finally he sighed and shook his head. "Now I could be completely incorrect," he began slowly, "but it sounds to me like you've had your memory erased."

Astoria frowned immediately and shook her head in disagreement. "I've never had my memory erased."

"Well if you had, you wouldn't know, would you?" he pointed out, giving her some food for thought.

She blinked. "I suppose…" she said unsurely. Then she shook her head again, "That makes no sense. If I've had my memory erased, like you said, I shouldn't know the difference."

"That is not always the case though," he told her. "When someone erases a person's memory, the memory is removed from the conscious area of the brain. Now, if memories were only removed from the conscious mind it would make it quite easy to retrieve them. However, they are also removed from the subconscious mind, making it more difficult for us to recover them. The most important thing to know is that memories are removed from the conscious and subconscious mind, but they still remain in the unconscious mind. No body realises that memories cannot be permanently erased from a person's mind. Why? We don't know. Personally, I believe it has to do the fundamentals of life. The things that are most important to us are those we cannot keep: friends, family, loved ones. We can never own these things, as much as we might like to. The moments that we share with the things are most important to us consist of time plus emotion and we can never hold on to those things either. But! Those things leave a trace – a memory! We own our memories; they are ours to keep. They belong to us. They are our experiences; they are a part of us and one thing we get to keep are ourselves. It is our most basic right, is it not, that we belong to no one other than ourselves? Yes! Therefore our memories are never truly taken from us, no amount of magic could ever do that."

He took a breath and then his expression turned pensive. "Mrs. Malfoy," he said, "by no means am I saying that what I say next is correct, or even plausible, but I have a premonition that your memory has been erased several times. Trying to erase someone's memory is precarious enough when preformed once, let alone several times. It seems to me, that somehow, your erased memories have wheedled themselves from your unconscious mind into your subconscious mind. And _that_ is what is causing you pain, because they're close enough for you to know about them, but far enough for you not to realise that they are there."

Astoria stood there, not knowing how to respond. "Are you sure?"

"Not at all," he told her honestly. "Does it fit? Yes, it does. Is it correct? Perhaps. I'm afraid I don't know."

"Is there a way of finding out?" she asked.

He brought his pen back to his mouth to chew on. "There is," he began, his next word sounding like 'but' would be inevitable, "_however_, I don't recommend it. It would me that we would retrieve the memories that have been erased from your conscious mind. Mrs. Malfoy, those memories were hidden from you for a reason, whatever that was, I don't know if they were good or bad, but they were hidden on purpose nonetheless. Now, if you were to be shown what they were, there is no guarantee that…something will…look, there is no guarantee that whatever you find that you will like, in fact, there is an incredibly strong possibility that you won't like what you find and that it will impact you negatively somehow. This is a prime example of ignorance is bliss."

"Will it make the headaches go away?" she asked reflexively. Her mind was racing at a million miles per hour and the pain was starting to return. Erased memories? That sparked a thought, and then a sub-thought, and then a concept, and then an idea, and then another version of the third sub-sub-thought…

But mainly: why had her memory been erased? What was that person trying to hide? What did she know – what _had_ she known?

She knew one thing: she needed answers; to what had happened, why had her memory been erased, where was she, who was she with, when had this happened?

"Yes it will," he sighed, already knowing that her mind had been made up.

"Do it," she told him, "I want to know."

He sighed again, but nodded. "You are fully aware of the consequences?" he checked.

"I am," she said firmly.

He gave her instructions to stand up against the wall behind her. He told her to close her eyes as he brought his wand up to her temple. He whispered the incantations and the more he spoke the more the pain disappeared.

And then suddenly, they poured into her, like water that he been there all along but unable to penetrate the barrier that separated the ocean from the river.

Flash.

"_I was hoping not to find you up here this Christmas," the voice tore Draco out of his memory. He looked down, the voice belonged to a tall and skinny girl with dark brown hair and pale skin. She climbed up the tree and perched herself on a branch near the one Draco was on. _

"_So was I…" Draco replied sadly. _

"_Didn't think that your parents could have killed your Christmas this year considering that trip of yours," Astoria Greengrass said. _

"_My parents can kill anything Greengrass," Draco replied dryly. _

"_When are you going to start calling me 'Astoria'?" she asked with an eye roll. _

"_When you stop being two years younger than me," Draco said with a hint of teasing. _

"_So how _was_ your Christmas?" She asked Draco._

"_It was really great, I had a really good time," he said genuinely, "best Christmas I've ever had. How about you?"_

Flash.

"_I've been seeing," he took hesitant breath "him…since March last year." He watched her reaction carefully, waiting for something to happen. "I'm in love with him," Draco said in a way that made it sound like he was powerless against fate, like he was powerless against the love that had swept him off his feet. He said it with happiness in his voice, "and for some incomprehensible reason…he loves me too."_

_She didn't look surprised, she didn't even look disgusted. It was as if the news didn't change anything for her. _

"_Say his name Draco," she said in a whisper, "you need to hear yourself say his name."_

"_Harry," the name came out in a breath and a word had never been spoken with some much emotion before, "Harry Potter." _

Flash.

"_Does he make you happy?" Astoria asked. _

"_I didn't know what happiness was until I loved him," Draco said honestly, feeling like he was flying. _

Flash.

_Astoria's face dropped and her eyes widened slightly as she looked down at Draco. "Shit." She dragged the word out. "He's…he's asked you to kill Harry, hasn't he? Oh Draco, I'm so sorry."_

"_No," Draco shook his head numbly, "he's asked me to bring Harry to him." Draco gave a harsh emotionless laugh, "But that's the same thing isn't it?" _

"_Oh Draco…" her eyes looked at him sadly. It wasn't fair, not to Draco, not after everything that he'd been through, were her thoughts. _

"_It's either my life or his," Draco said bluntly, "and I'm not going to let him die."_

Flash.

"_So are you going to obliviate me now?" Astoria asked her tone neutral, like she knew it was coming all along. _

_Draco gave her a shocked look. "How did you…?" he asked slowly. _

_She shrugged indifferently. "I know you," she said simply. _

_Draco felt heavy. "I'm sorry," he said genuinely. _

"_Do what you have to do." She said looking aged. Draco pulled out his wand and raised it. _

"_Wait!" she said suddenly her face wavering, she looked into Draco's eyes "This…this has happened before hasn't it?"_

"_I'm sorry, Astoria." _

_She swallowed and nodded. "Good luck Draco," she told him. _

"Obliviate_." _

Flash.

_He thought about how to advance and then started. "I know what I'm about to do is selfish and inconsiderate," he began "because I have nothing to give to you. I know that I keep taking from you but you're the only one I can go to and –"_

_"Tell me what you need and I'll do it," she promised him._

_He handed her a piece of parchment. The letter that was the culprit, the thing that had caused his problems. "I need for you to read it," he told her, his voice tortured. She nodded. She opened the letter and began to read it. He tried so hard but failed at keeping his composure. He kept his lips pressed tightly together, but his salty tears still escaped him. As Astoria read she heard his breaths come in and out sharply and she felt for his hand and held it as she continued to read Lucius' words._

_Placing the letter carefully on the table she looked up at him. "He found it," Draco choked out "Harry." Astoria brushed her thumb over the top of his hand, not letting go. "It's not true," he told her "I had to lie to protect him, he thinks that I lied to him but I love him. I always have and it is real. I don't know what to do." Astoria felt his hands shaking. "I feel like I'm falling," his breathing too quick to be safe._

_She reached over and pulled him into an embrace. "I've got you," she promised. She just held him tightly and securely, making sure that if she could give him something it would be that he was stable enough to allow himself to feel freely. He sobbed into her shoulder, quietly but deeply._

_Astoria swallowed and focused on keeping her breathing even. She had to stay strong for him. This wasn't about how she felt for him, in fact, that was at the back of her mind right now. She had always felt the innate need to protect him and now it was no different. It hurt her to see him so upset and in so much emotional pain. He moved back upright, wiping his eyes._

_"I will always give you everything," she told him "but I will never give you false hope. I promise you now."_

_"Thank you," he said. And he meant it._

_Her eyes burned with the seriousness and intensity of her words. It was the only fire he had seen in a long time. "You can repair this. I know that you can because he changed something within you, so you must have changed something within him too and _that_never__ goes away. He can't forget that, he _hasn't_forgotten it. It's there and it's eating away at him and __that__ is your chance. Seize it. If it is real then you should have no doubt that you can fix it because things that are real are everlasting. Don't let anyone ever tell you that you can't do it, because he is your dream and you need to protect him. If you need him, if you _love_ him…you have to go and get him."_

_"I've broken it into so many impossible pieces, beyond repair, I don't think I can fix this." Draco said hoarsely._

_"That is crazy and stupid and irrational: when it's broken and you say you can't fix it. You can fix anything that is broken." She told him firmly, believing it one hundred percent herself._

_"I don't know if that's true." Draco said, his eyes looking at her blankly._

_"Of course it is," she told him, her voice strong and sure "__you__ were broken and he fixed you. Nothing is impossible. Don't give in Draco, don't give into it." She pointed to the discarded letter. "You're better than them. Prove to him that you are better than them."_

_"I don't know how," he said with tormented eyes._

_"Yes you do," she told him, the sincerity in her voice scaring him "you have to lift yourself up above all the things that scare you. Instead you have to embrace the feelings that are making you hurt. You keep pushing them away but Draco, the pain is the love in disguise. Show him the pain and you show him the love. Show him who you are because when he sees it he will know. Show him the person that he's helped you to become. He's hurting too, when you show the same pain that he feels; it is an expression of love. It shows him that you both have it and it's still there – the love. Don't you see? It is the answer. It's the question. It's the thing that makes everything work and it's what will seal everything back up – love." She gave him a smile. "You've got it…so give it to him."_

_Draco didn't know what to say. He was moved by her words. So moved that he knew how to fix things. "You are…" he was lost for words "thank you."_

_"You're always welcome," she replied. Her smile then faded. "If I close my eyes will it make it easier?" she asked sadly._

_Draco's lip quivered and he didn't need to ask himself why. He hated doing this to her, but most of all, he hated how she always knew that he would do it._

_He tried to keep his voice steady. "It should," he whispered._

_She nodded, not letting go of his hand. She moved closer and placed her other hand on his cheek. She pressed a quick kiss on his lips, knowing that she wouldn't remember it, "Open yourself to him."_

_"I will," he promised._

_A stray tear slipped down her cheek and she brushed it away. She didn't mention that it might not work properly. She didn't mention that she had dreams and moments of confusion when an image or a memory she didn't recall leaked into her head. She was certain things were slipping but she loved him too much to not give herself to him willingly. Most of all, she didn't mention that she knew something that would change everything for him. She didn't tell him because she didn't want to hurt him, because she wanted things to work out for him._

_"__Obliviate__."_

Flash.

Astoria brought her hands up to her mouth and slid down the wall onto the floor as tears filled her eyes and left them in one singular motion. She felt so empty. She felt so alone. She felt like he did. He had felt this way for so long. The life that was a lie. She trembled. She felt a part of her escape like an abstract mist that floated without the boundaries of the solid world.

She knew. But then again, she had always known, just not really. She couldn't see straight and her vision was blurred. Though through her harrowing sorrow, she was oddly calm. Because she knew, like he did, there was nothing to be done. Nothing could ever be done.

She loved him so much that she understood that it was his decision not to tell her, his decision to try and hide the times that he had, his decision to live the way he did, and because she loved him so much she respected those decisions. She realised that even though she did know, she wasn't supposed to, that she would go home to him and he would not know any better. And the sad thing was, neither did she. She didn't know any better than him because he was best. He was everything to her. He was everything without the erotic love. It was a phileo love. She couldn't hurt him, not when he had been through so much pain.

She thought of herself too. She thought about how she should be angry with him for taking her life, taking her right to have a fulfilled life. She thought about how every time they had had sex it had not meant that same thing to him as it had meant to her. She thought about how he had lied to her, not told her the truth. She thought about how he had violated her, obliviated her. She thought about how she should hate him.

But she couldn't. She couldn't hate him. She just couldn't. She never would be able to, no matter what. She loved him.

She cried.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"It's so good to have everyone together," Hermione said as she sipped her tea. Ginny nodded in agreement.

Albus and Rose were talking quietly at the table, sitting near Harry, Ron, Ginny and Hermione. Lily and Hugo were both staying over at George and Angelina's house with Roxanne and Fred. James had gone upstairs straight after dinner.

"Where's James?" Harry asked.

"Upstairs writing to his girlfriend," Albus answered.

"What girlfriend?" Ginny asked.

"I think the better question is _which_ girlfriend." Albus snickered.

"Albus," Rose said in a warning tone. "Nadine Elliot is actually quite nice."

"He's not with Nadine anymore," Albus told her, "that was last week. He's seeing Melissa Lori."

"But I thought he went out with her sometime last month," Rose said, confused.

"He _was_," Albus replied, "and _is_, again."

Rose sighed. "He got back together with her? Oh I bet that will work out great this time," Rose said sardonically.

"At least she's not as bad as that Slytherin he was dating. What was her name?" Albus asked.

"Oh, you mean Sara Coco?" Rose nodded in understanding.

"James dated a Slytherin?" Ron asked, his eyes crinkled like he couldn't see clearly, but really he just couldn't understand James' logic behind that decision.

"Yeah," Albus confirmed. "There's nothing wrong with that, it's just…well, she was a whor–" Albus looked around at the adults and changed his adjective mid-sound, "–orrible person. He's got a bit of a thing for those types of Slytherins though."

"Why?" Ron asked.

Albus shrugged, "He says that they give really good–"

"Albus!" Rose hissed.

"I was going to say back rubs." Albus defended.

"No you were not," Rose told him pointedly. Albus grinned at her.

Ron slapped Harry on the back sympathetically. "Looks you've got quite the wild one on your hands mate," Ron laughed.

Harry rubbed his hand on his forehead, "Don't remind me."

"I think I ought to have a bit of a talk with him," Ginny sighed.

"Mum don't," Albus laughed, "it will actually kill him."

"Well then Harry should," she decided.

"Don't bother," Albus told his parents, "Rose already beat you to it a long time ago." Ron and Hermione stared at her with comically large eyes. Rose glared at Albus before burying her head in her hands. "Really, Rose does a better job than Madame Pomfrey."

"Albus!" Rose groaned, elbowing him in the ribs.

"You're too young to know about that stuff!" Ron spluttered.

"Dad, I'm almost _fifteen years old_." Rose told him, putting her hands on her hips.

"And if it wasn't for Rose's knowledge, James' child would be _two years old_." Albus added, managing to keep a very serious face. Rose swatted his arm.

"Oh Godric," Harry sighed, looking up as if the ceiling would help him.

"Oh Ronald calm down," Hermione said, looking at her husband's distressed expression, "she won't be having any children and time soon."

"No way," Albus agreed, "with her potion skills she could whip up a one hundred per cent effective–"

"Albus shut up," Rose groaned, worrying about the shade of red her father's face was turning.

"I'm kidding," Albus laughed, smiling at her fondly.

Later that night Harry knocked on James' door, making sure to enter after he heard James tell him to come in.

"Hey dad," James said, "could you look over these Quidditch positions for me?"

"Sure," Harry said, "but I think you'd better double check with your mum. What with her being a retired Quidditch player and all."

James grinned. "Yeah, I will later. So what's up?"

"I…wanted to talk to you about something." Harry began.

James frowned suspiciously. "Yeah…"

"I know that you're starting to date some girls at school," Harry said slowly, James' eyes began to widen, knowing where this conversation was going. "And I know that you're probably starting to become–"

"Dad, please just, please just don't." James pleaded. "This is awkward."

"This is _not_ awkward," Harry told him. "We've always been very open about things like this."

James looked at him sceptically.

"Would you prefer your mother talked to you?" Harry asked, with raised eyebrows. James shuddered. "I thought so."

"Do we have to talk at all?" James asked. "Rose already lectured me about _using protection_ and _James so help me if you set a bad example for your siblings _and _please for Godric's sake don't sleep around so much, you have a perfectly fine hand_."

"Wow," Harry nodded, "she really took you through it."

"Tell me about it," James snorted. "Look dad, if I have any questions or whatever, I just ask Teddy."

Harry sighed. "Alright," he agreed, "It's just–"

"It's because she's in Slytherin, isn't in?" James asked bluntly.

Harry blinked in surprise. "What? No, not at all."

"Sure," James scoffed.

"James Sirius Potter," Harry said firmly, "It doesn't matter what house that she is in; it matters that she is a good person and that she treats you well. And I expect that you treat her the same way. I have no prejudice to which house at school that she is in, I promise you. Slytherins are not bad people James."

"How would you know?" James asked, still disbelieving that his father didn't mind him dating a Slytherin after all that had happened in his past – the war and Voldemort.

"Because I fell in love with someone who was in Slytherin," Harry said boldly. He watched as his son's face was eclipsed with shock.

"When?" James breathed.

"Before your mother," Harry replied.

"What– like why…?"

"She died," Harry said simply, his voice turned quiet and his eyes looked down. He cleared his throat and looked up and James, who was sitting there with his mouth open. Before James had the opportunity to speak Harry finished, "So, no, I don't mind that she is in Slytherin. I do mind though, that you are being careful and that you aren't doing anything that you will regret. I know you might not want to have this conversation, but I need for you to know that while it may feel good to have as much sex as you can, it'll feel even better when you do with someone who really matters you. Trust me, I've lived a lot longer, and I've done it all. You're sixteen, I understand, and I've been sixteen too. But I've also been in love and James, I can tell you that time spent being in love with someone who loves you back is time a lot better spent than just having sex with someone who's available to you because you feel like it. And you won't understand that until it happens so, please, for all our sakes, please make the right choices, okay?"

James sat there, gobsmacked, and nodding. He'd never seen his father like this. Harry stood up and placed a hand on James' shoulder before leaving his room. And Harry wondered if he had done the wrong thing by telling James that. _No,_ Harry thought, _he's my son, he's my own flesh and blood._

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

It was always rare that Draco would have the house to himself, so when he did he would always use his private time effectively. It hadn't taken long for him to get hard; in fact, he was desperate to touch himself. It had been so long since he'd…

"_Lubrico_," Draco stammered. His cock was erect against his stomach but he refrained from touching it. Instead, he pushed his middle finger inside himself. He let out a pleasurable sigh as he welcomed the intrusion. He felt warm and tight around his finger and soon enough his one digit became two and then three.

He moaned out loud, since there was no one to hear him, at how good it felt. It had been too long since he had had something inside himself. This was how it was meant to be. He picked up speed as he fingered himself, and while his fingers were making moans escape his lips, they didn't fully satisfy him.

Blindly searching for his wand, as his eyes were squeezed shut in pleasure, he conjured up something that he kept very well hidden in his locked study drawer. Eagerly, he pushed the scarlet-red toy into himself. He panted as he felt himself be filled up. Bliss ran through him, to the tips of his toes to his neck.

His back arched up as he pulled it out and pushed it back inside. His hips snapped involuntarily to meet his thrusts. A droplet of sweat tickled down the side of his forehead but he did not relent the way his hand was moving forward and back. He angled the toy up slightly and hit that sweet spot inside of him and he cried out. It sparked something hot and syrupy inside of him and he imagined Harry there with him.

'_Touch yourself for me,' Harry said, in a low aroused voice. _

Draco's left hand immediately gripped his cock, a bead of moisture forming on the head.

_Harry flicked his hair to the side with a snap of his head, so that Draco could see his green eyes clearly. 'Good. Now run your thumb over your head, exactly how you like it. That's it, just like that.'_

Draco pushed the red toy deeper into himself, biting his lip. He squeezed his cock with his other hand.

'_You wish that was my cock inside of you, don't you? You wish that was me filling you up and fucking you hard.' _

"Yes," Draco moaned, "fuck yes."

'_You are such a little slut Draco, look how desperate you are, all spread out and dying to come. Tell me how it feels, does it feel good?' Harry stroked his own erection, pumping in time with Draco's thrusts. _

"So good, Harry." Draco managed to say. "Feels like ung– feels full and so fucking good. I want…"

'_What do you want? Do you want me to talk to you baby? Tell you all the things I'd love to do to you?' _

Draco was so close; his erection was throbbing in his hand and his thrusts were frantic and raring. "Yeah," he nodded hastily, "oh shit…t–tell me."

_Harry smirked and licked his lips, knowing it would drive Draco crazy. 'I want to rim you. I want to jut my tongue against your hole, jutting it in and out, narrow my tongue and stab the tip of it in you, making you nice and wet for me, so I can slip in easily, until you're begging for my fingers. Then I'd circle my finger around your hole, teasing you, and then push it in slowly. Yeah, that's it; touch yourself faster. I would push it in, then pull it out, then push it in and pull it out. Then, as I'd put a second finger into you, I'd lick a stripe up your cock. You'd cry out because you know I love it when you make those little sounds. I'd take your head into my mouth and run my tongue over your slit and suck hard with my obscene little lips You know what I'd do then? I'd curl my fingers up and hit that fleshy bump inside you that makes see stars. I'd hit it over, and over, and over because it feels so good, doesn't it? It feels good when I finger you. But then you'd start pleading and calling my name, begging for me to put my cock inside you, because you're starved for it. You want my cock to fuck into you, bury myself into you balls deep. And I'd do it – slam into you – making the sound get caught up in your throat. I'd pound into you, wanting you to feel it for days, so that every step you take reminds you that I'm the only one that can make you feel this good. I'd fuck you into the mattress, making you scream. And you'd fucking take it because you're a little cockslut. I'd reach forward and grab your cock, running my hand up and down so fast. And then I'd come and you'd feel it spilling warm inside of you, and that would be all it'd take. You'd come hard, clenching tight around me and shouting at the top of your lungs. You'd feebly rut your hips up because you're so helpless to the orgasm. Because it feels so good, doesn't it? Yes it does. It feels so good to come, to shoot hotly between us. Yeah, come on, come for me. Do it. _come_.'_

Draco lay there boneless and spent, chest heaving, eyes closed, and thinking that he hadn't come that hard in such a long time.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

James walked into Albus' room without knocking, even though Albus had told him not to disturb him because he was studying for their upcoming exams.

"Hey have you seen my Gryffindor scarf?" James asked.

Albus sighed. "No, I haven't." he said patiently. "Can you please knock before you come in?"

"What for?" James snorted. "You only study or read."

"It doesn't matter, I still would like my privacy." Albus explained.

"What for?" James repeated. "It's not like you'd be wanking or anything like that needs privacy."

Albus flushed but still retorted, "We're not all like you James."

"Pity that," James grinned.

"You're such a twat," Albus complained, "Can you just get out please?"

"Why? What're you doing?" James asked.

"I'm writing," Albus sighed impatiently, "now get out."

"To who?"

"No one, out."

"You can't be writing to no one, who is it?"

"James, get out, seriously."

"Oooh," James said, waggling his eyebrows, "who is it? Come on Al, tell me! Do you have a girlfriend?"

"James, I'm being serious, piss off." Albus said, being to feel uncomfortable.

James came closer to him, not taking the hint that Albus was indeed distressed. "Why won't you tell me?"

"Because it's none of your business!" Albus exclaimed. "Just leave me alone."

"I tell you who my girlfriends are!" James argued.

"I don't care what you do," Albus told him, "I don't want you to know."

James reached forward and snatched the letter that Albus had on his desk. "Don't!" Albus yelled. He frantically picked up his wand and pointed it at James.

James laughed. "You're fifteen," he reminded Albus, "you're not allowed to use magic outside of Hogwarts. You're gonna get kicked out of school because you don't want me to read your letter?"

"Maybe," Albus replied fiercely, not allowing his older brother to tease him.

"Yeah right Al," James snickered, "You're full of shit."

"Why can't you just leave me the alone?" Albus shouted. "Do you always have to be like this? Why can't you let me have my privacy?"

"You– Hey!"

James looked down to the hand that had had the letter in it. Lily stood next to him, her eyes narrowed angrily, holding Albus' letter, which she had snatched, and handed it to Albus who held it securely in his own hands.

"You head what he said, he told you to leave him alone." Lily snapped. "You're such a prick James."

Lily Potter was a girl with an arsenal of choice words in her regularly used vocabulary. She didn't let anyone get away with mistreating her or her friends and family. She especially stood up for Albus, mainly because she decided that he couldn't do it for himself, but because she didn't like the way James messed around with people.

"Stay out of it Lily," James hissed.

"You wonder why he doesn't tell you anything, but then you treat him like shit. What do you expect?" Lily said, her voice rising.

"I just want to know what he's got to hide," James said angrily.

"It's none of your business! I wouldn't tell you either!"

"Oh so you know?"

"It doesn't matter!"

"So you told her but you didn't tell me?" James shouted at Albus.

"What is going on in here?" Ginny asked, eyes wide and hands on her hips. James stormed out of the room. "Come back here, right now. James, do not make me ask again."

James reluctantly trudged back into Albus' room. "Now would someone like to explain why we are all yelling?"

James said nothing because he knew he was in trouble. Albus said nothing because he just wanted everyone to leave him alone. Lily said nothing because she didn't want to make it worse for Albus.

Ginny sighed heavily, she her fingers up to the bridge of her nose. "Okay," she said, "I'm going to count to five. If someone does not explain to me what happened there will be consequences, make no mistake. One…two," she looked between the three of them expectantly. "Three…three and a half…_four_…"

"Albus was writing a letter and James snatched it from him when Albus told him not to look at it," Lily answered. James glared at her but she ignored him and sent an apologetic look to Albus.

Ginny turned to look at James. "Why?" she sighed, shaking her head. "You _know_ it's the wrong thing to do. Why upset him?"

"He didn't tell me who he was writing to!" James argued.

"Can you say that again, this time without raising your voice?" Ginny asked in an irritatingly calm voice.

"He didn't tell me who he was writing to," James said through gritted teeth.

"And if he told you no, James, that means no. Please respect him, he's your brother." Ginny told him. "Now go downstairs and I'll talk to you later about this."

James huffed angrily and left the room. "Thank you," Albus said to Lily. She smiled and nodded and left his room.

"You okay, Al?" Ginny asked gently. Albus shrugged. "Come here." Albus walked into his mother's embrace and sighed against the crook of her neck.

"I hate him."

"No you don't," Ginny said, "I know he can be immature at times but you don't hate him. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," Albus said, it was honest, not mean.

"Alright," Ginny replied.

"Umm mum, I just…I just want to be bye myself for a bit." Albus said.

"Okay," Ginny nodded, she ran a hand through his hair and kissed the top of his forehead. "I'll see you later."

Ginny left, closing the door behind her and Albus went back to writing his letter.

…_and I found something in the Room of Requirement last week, I think you should have a look at it when we get back…_

Albus then scribbled out that line in black ink, obscuring the words. No, he was going crazy.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

_Draco pulled out a small box and handed it to Harry. It was made of a dark wood. Harry opened it. At first he was taken away but then he became confused as to what it was. He picked it up gently. It was a gold pocket watch. The chain was simple. It used yellow and white gold through its chain. The clock itself was gold plated with a white face. However instead of showing the time, in the middle of the white face was a number etched it cursive gold writing 317._

"_It's beautiful," Harry said feeling awestruck. _

"_Do you know what it is?" Draco asked with a knowing smile. Harry smiled timidly and shook his head. "It counts the days."_

"_Of the year?" Harry frowned. _

"_No," Draco shook his head and looked into Harry green eyes, "it counts the days that I've loved you."_

Harry stroked the chain absentmindedly, thinking about Draco and just…and just thinking about so much…so much that was everything he didn't have.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Draco wrote poems to Harry all the time, but they would remain unsent. He wrote about how he felt and his thoughts. Sometimes they were just letters, wondering simple thinks, like when Harry thought about him. His writing would be elegant; every 'i' dotted, every t crossed and every g, y, and l looped. In the letters that were never seen he talked Harry about his day, told him about Scorpius, and asked how he was feeling. Some of the letters were light hearted and full of playful humour, some private, full of intimate things such as lust and longing, however most of them were sad and his words ended with ellipses that trailed off into a world that Draco longed to live in…

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Harry stood in front of his parents' graves. He had come alone this time. He had come to talk to them and he could only ever really talk to them alone. He was avoiding it right now; he thought perhaps if he ignored the itching need to say his name it would go away. He knew it was a lie.

"…and it's hard, especially at fifteen, and I'm _so_ proud of him. I just worry that he'll get hurt, that other will hurt him because he has such a kind heart. James is seventeen and he's…he's tough work. He's captain of the Gryffindor team and I think he's doing a great job, a better job than I did, and he's like Ginny in that way. He's like you dad – Hogwarts' troublemaker. Lily…Lily is Lily: strong-minded and smart, but she's fiery. Our families are all well, everyone is growing up and it seems like there's a new drama each week, from what we can tell in the letters we get back. My job is still good. I love getting called down to Hogwarts to give Defence talks. Everything's fine at work and–" Harry stopped because these were his parents and he didn't have to pretend in front of them, "I never stop missing him."

Harry's lip trembled and he removed his glasses so that he could wipe his wet eyes. "Never ever do I stop. I hate living like this. I thought, I _hoped_, that I would have at least some moments were he wouldn't come into my thoughts like a ghost drifting through every second of my life, but there aren't. I keep waiting to wake up from a bad dream. And that sounds stupid. It _is_ stupid. But it's painful too. I just…"

And there were no words to finish with, only the action of falling to his knees and crying, because that explained it all. It explained how he felt imprisoned; how he had to make love without intimacy; how he felt alone when he was crowded in a room full of people; how sometimes what he had just wasn't enough; how life wasn't fair; how he was a good person and why had this happened to him; how ending it all wasn't the answer for him but being afraid it might be the question being asked by Draco; how, why couldn't he just have five minutes where he didn't think about anything; how not even in sleep was he at peace because Draco infiltrated his dreams as well; how he worried; how everything and anything and something was just the way it was, and since when and why, and always and never and only one, and who and what and the questions of his life that were a never ending stream of this kind of feeling that just seemed to shut things down but not turn them off and–

A single teardrop was not made of salty water, but of a million emotions and thoughts and feelings and wishes that needed to escape the mind, caress the cheeks of the owner and kiss them goodbye, because they were too great for the person to hold onto.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

He missed the way his hands would always have a rough feel from all the time he spent clutching a broomstick. Although they would always handle Draco gently, Harry's hands felt masculine, like they would protect him in his hold.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Everyone dazed off into the distance every once in a while, while they were bored or simply tired. Most people daydreamed about leading different lives, being a singer in a band, thinking about songs or moves. Not Harry and Draco, no, their minds wandered off to a certain place; a place of escape through imagination; a place of how things were supposed to be; a place of different events; a place of how their lives should have turned out.

They were supposed to tell all there friends and family about their relationship and everyone would be accepting, and those who weren't would eventually come around because how could you not, seeing how in love they were? Harry would have kissed Draco and told him how brave he was and how much he loved him. Ron would have had the most difficulty accepting that Harry had been seeing 'Malfoy' all that time and it would have been a difficult stage in their friendship. Ron would have come to his sense after a series of events that left him with no choice other than to accept that Draco was the right person for Harry. It would have started after seeing Draco reach out and catch Hermione because the girl had tripped; then, when Draco helped Mrs. Weasley clear the table after dinner and help her wash up, while making conversation; later on when Harry fell asleep on the couch and began moving about, clearly having a bad dream, and Draco bent down, put his hand on the side of Harry's face and whispered in his ear, stroking his hair. The winning factor would have been when Draco opened the door in nothing but the too large Weasley jumper that Mrs. Weasley had made for him, hair messy and Harry shouting from three floors above to, "Come back to bed you insufferable cock, do you know what bloody time it is?" To which Draco would have rubbed his face with his hand and shouted, "Go shove your wand up your arse, you lazy shit!" He would have shaken his head, muttering, "He's like a fucking bear in hibernation I swear to Slytherin…right then, Granger left her gloves in the kitchen, I assume you have been given the task of collecting them?" Ron would have nodded, and followed Draco into the kitchen, while Draco shouted in the direction of the stairs, "Love you!" And Harry would have shouted back a 'love you too'.

At almost nineteen years old they were supposed to take a year off together and travel and see the world together. They were supposed to go back to Italy and stay there for longer than their previous trip two years prior. They were supposed to go to beaches in the summer, swimming in the pristine water. They would have walked along the beach hand in hand and when they would have lay down on the sand together Draco would have admired Harry's gorgeous body and wonder how he ever got to be so lucky.

Harry was supposed to take Draco to meet his relatives, the Dursleys, the people that had made Harry's childhood and school holidays miserable. Draco would have made sure that they caught him snogging Harry in the hallway, leaving them with stunned, red faces. Draco would have made sure that they could see how happy Harry was. He probably would have charmed their car to have a permanent flat tyre as well.

They were supposed to move into Grimmauld Place together. Harry would have been the one to cook because Draco was completely hopeless at things like that, and Harry feared that if he was let near the stove because somehow something would catch fire. The house would have been constantly heated because Draco always seemed to be cold and if he was cold he would wear more clothes, and really, Harry just couldn't have that. They would have only worn their underwear around the house; it wouldn't have mattered because there was no one there but them, and besides, they would end up both naked at some point during the night anyway.

They were supposed to do everything together. Harry really wouldn't have counted clothes shopping as something they did together per say; Harry would have always been present, but Draco would have never let him choose anything because, "You have about as much fashion sense as a troll." But Harry would have rolled his eyes and laughed because Draco made him feel beautiful on the inside, so why not let him make Harry beautiful on the outside too?

They were supposed to have sex all the time. They were supposed to be always painted with love-bites and teeth and nail marks. It was suppose to make Ginny laugh and Ron turn red to the roots of his hair. They were supposed to not be able to keep their hands off each other because they were so insatiable. Harry would have cooked them dinner and Draco would have had every intention of letting Harry finish his meal, until Harry licked his little finger, which had sauce on it, and Draco would have pounced on him right there and then on the table, and Harry would have laughed at his boyfriend's eagerness. Then Ginny, Ron and Hermione would have come over for breakfast the next morning, not giving the two men a chance to at least disinfect the kitchen table first. Ron, being Ron, would have accidently dropped a piece of his food and gone to lick it off table and Harry and Draco's eyes would have widened in horror and shouted, "No!" Harry would have buried his face in his hands and Draco would have shaken his head gravely and said, "Do not _ever_ lick the kitchen table, Weasley." Ginny would have been on the floor for a whole five minutes laughing; Ron would have performed a cleaning spell on his tongue; Harry would have apologised profusely; and Hermione would have moved everything from the table to the bench.

They were supposed to have bad dreams, but that was to be expected after all that they had been through. It would have been okay because they always slept with their arms around each other. Draco would have begun breathing and screaming frantically and Harry would have woken him up and told him that he was safe and that he loved him. He would have rubbed circles on Draco's back while holding him close. He would have rubbed their noses together and kissed him softly, until Draco told him that he needed to be touched and Harry would have nodded and then made love to him slowly until he was sure that the bad dreams had left Draco's mind. That was the beautiful thing with them – they would have always been tactile with each other. Whether they would have simply placed a hand on the other's knee or hand or shoulder, or even a strong embrace or holding hands or stroking the other's neck or putting their arm around the other to keep them near, they always touched because that was what they needed.

They were supposed to pull each other into their laps and wrap their legs around each other when they felt like cuddling and smile into each other's necks. They were supposed to know which spot made the other pliable and malleable and weak at the knees. They were supposed to discover what made the other blush. Harry was supposed to wake up with Draco sprawled across his chest and even though it was one of his favourite feelings in the world, he would still tease Draco that he was a little snuggle bug and a princess. Draco would then have proceeded to kindly telling him to fuck off and make him a darn good breakfast to make up for his bullying.

Harry would have decided to become an Auror, but not for a few years. He would have played Quidditch as a Seeker. Draco would have sat him down and asked him if this was what he really wanted to be doing and Harry would have said yes and Draco would have said that that was good enough for him. They would have trained Harry hard and while Draco didn't like seeing Harry constantly sore, it gave him and excuse to massage his muscles and besides, he loved how toned and fit Harry's body looked because of it. Draco would have come to watch every single one of Harry's games and win, lose or draw they would have had incredibly loud sex afterwards. Draco was supposed to inherit his millions and not work a day in his life, according to his mother, but Draco would not have even contemplate that option for a split second. Pansy and Blaise would have thought that he would have become a potions master, however Draco would have surprised everyone but Harry and become a Healer. Harry would have been so proud of him and loved watching him sit in front of their fireplace, reading textbooks, studying and learning – something he knew the Slytherin loved to do.

They were supposed to slow kiss in the morning. Harry would have tried to detach himself from the blonde, arguing that he had an early morning practise. He would have said, when Draco told him that he didn't care, that he was supposed to be the responsible one. To which Draco would have replied, "I am being responsible. I am holding you accountable for my sexual needs and ensuring that that is being taken care of immediately." Harry would have told him that he was a twat and then kissed his nose before getting out of bed.

Whenever Draco was sad, or he had been to see his mother or father and it had gone badly, or when he was feeling down, Harry would taken him upstairs by the hand into their bedroom and kissed every inch of his skin and whisper why Harry loved him, what he loved about him, all the happy memories that they had together, all the things that he still wanted to do with Draco, and tell him things that made him feel better.

Draco was supposed to discover that Harry liked to sit in front of a window when it rained, no matter what time of the day or night. He was supposed to discover that Harry hated mangos, so Draco would not have bought any soap or shampoo that had mangos in it. Harry was supposed to discover that Draco drank more tea that an old witch with forty cats. He was also supposed to discover that Draco secretly loved Muggle London because no one knew who they were and that meant he could snog Harry in a café, club or back street without it being printed in the Daily Prophet. Harry was supposed to discover that while Draco loved being fucked in the Montrose Magpies' change rooms before Harry's Quidditch match or after training when the room was empty, he was looking forward to fucking Harry on the desk of his Auror office when the time came. Something that they both were supposed to have discovered, was that they both had a kink of calling each other by their last names during the times they fucked, hard.

They were supposed to have Teddy stay with them every second Saturday, Sunday and Monday, as they both would have had Monday's free. Teddy and his grandmother would have come over during the week sometimes for dinner as well. Harry would have adored the three days a fortnight that he would have spent with his Godson. "He's as much mine as he is yours, Draco. He's your second cousin." Harry would have told Draco, who also loved the little hair-colour-changing bundle of energy. Taking care of Teddy and loving him would have come naturally to Harry. Draco would have been apprehensive around him, scared and unsure, but Harry would have told him that he was being ridiculous, "It's a kid, not a carnivorous plant." They would have taken Teddy to the park, out for ice cream, to the city and everywhere else Harry would have deemed child-safe. He would haven gotten Draco to make forts out of pillows and sheets so that the three of them could have had dinner in their makeshift castle, all the while Harry shooting sparks and puffs of coloured smoke out of his wand, much to Teddy's delight and entertainment. Draco would have seen the way Harry's eyes would have lit up when he had the little two year old in his arms, and the way Harry wouldn't even batter an eye lid when Teddy got his finger prints all over Harry's glasses lenses, and he realised that someday Harry would have wanted to have children of his own. Of _their_ own.

Draco would have felt scared because he wouldn't have been sure if he would ever want his own children. Teddy would have always slept in between Harry and Draco in their bed and the little boy would always have Harry's arm curled around him, while Draco's arm would have always been draped over Harry, pulling the three together tightly. There would have been one night where Teddy was exhausted and would haven fallen asleep on the couch. Harry would have had his head resting against the doorframe, smiling, and Draco would have come up behind him and rested his chin on Harry's shoulder.

"I don't think I can give you what you want," Draco would have said quietly. Harry would have turned around to look at Draco's rueful expression, confused as to what Draco was referring to.

"And what do I want?" Harry would have asked.

"Children."

"Oh," Harry would have said softly. He would have already been waiting for this conversation to happen, knowing that it would have been inevitable.

"I just…" Draco would have begun, unsure how to explain how he felt, "I see you with Teddy and everything you do with him, the way you look after him, it comes so naturally to you. It doesn't for me. I can see that you want children; I know that you do. I just…I feel like…I cannot do it the way you can, Harry. I feel horrible, because I am letting you down, and…"

"You're scared that you're going to be the same kind of father to your children that your father was to you," Harry would have finished for him. Draco would have looked down, ashamed, and Harry would have sat them both down on the floor and put Draco's head in his lap, stroking his hair while he would have replied, "You are a completely different person to your father, Draco Malfoy. And I don't believe for one second that you will parent the same way he did because you are a completely different person to him. You act differently; you have different morals and beliefs."

Draco would have sighed, because Harry was right. "Harry, I…I don't think I'm ready yet."

"Dray, we're not even twenty yet," Harry would have pointed out. "I don't want to have kids for another couple of years. Don't get me wrong, I love having Teddy with us for a few days a fortnight, and for now, that's enough. We've got ages, yeah? If I had to pick anyone to father my children, it would be _you_."

Harry's last sentence would have stirred something within Draco, and maybe because it was some primal, biological need to reproduce, or maybe just because Harry was so perfect, but Draco would have just needed to make love him right there and then.

"Babe…Mmm...Teddy." Harry would have protested as Draco pressed Harry up against the doorframe and lifted his arms above his head.

"Don't care, need you." Draco would have answered. "He is out cold anyway." Draco would have had sex with him halfway up the second staircase, breaking the rule that they established (no sex or any type of sexual act with Teddy in the house), because the bedroom would have seemed too far away when competing against Draco's unquenchable need for Harry.

They were supposed to argue all the time, after all, it was one of the things that they did best. They were supposed to call each every name, point out every fault, say horrible things and shout, yell and scream. They were supposed to say things that they didn't mean; wish and hope things upon the other that they never really did wish or hope would truly happen; and keep fighting until they had no voice left, resolve the conflict or ended up fucking each other senseless. However, the moment tears would have become involved all fighting would have stopped, and mean words would have turned into apologies and whispers of love, and banging fists would have turned into cuddles and gentle caresses.

Harry was the one that was supposed to have proposed. Harry would have recently begun his career as an Auror and he would have been called to Hogwarts to give a Defence Against the Dark Arts talk and luckily enough Professor McGonagall would have asked Draco to give a lecture to a seventh year History of Magic class about the life of a Death Eater during the second Wizarding War. Harry would have asked McGonagall if he and Draco would have been able to take a walk around the grounds ("Don't be ridiculous Potter, of course you can, you needn't ask."). Harry would have taken Draco to the shrieking shack; Draco would have teased him that he was getting old because he couldn't fit get through the trap door with the same superior agility that he used to have. Harry would have sat down on the bed with Draco and they would have reminisced about the times they had at Hogwarts.

Harry would have gotten down on one knee, Draco's eyes widening as he did, and Harry would have looked straight into the grey eyes that he loved and said, "Draco Malfoy, the first time a met you I knew you were different to every one else, to me; at eleven years old I was too young to know anything else, but I knew that. When I came back to Hogwarts as a sixteen year old, it was the first time I _really_ saw you. I saw your beautiful pale skin, your incredible grey eyes and your gleaming blonde hair. I saw how in the afternoons your tie was considerably looser than in was in the mornings and your fringe skimmed your eyes. I saw you and thought, 'How can something be so beautiful?' I saw the things that others didn't; I saw that you were sad and lonely. I saw how smart you were. I seemed to see you even when I wasn't looking, like when I closed my eyes and night. I saw how you held your quill and the way your lips would purse when you were in deep thought. I saw you until you saw me, and nine years later I still haven't stopped seeing.

"Now I see someone with bright eyes who is strong and clever and capable of anything. I still think back to the day when you first kissed me and wonder what you saw in me that made you press your lips to mine and start this amazing journey that is love. I love the way you burn the toast in the mornings. I love the way, you hate your hair when it's messy, you let me play with it anyway. I love strong you've become from everything that ever tried to stop you or scare you or bring you down. I love how you have to have every chair at the table pushed in because it has to be neat. I love how you let me sleep in sometimes and deny that you don't watch me sleep when you wake up before I do, even though I know you do. I love how you play with my fingers under the table when we're with other people. I love the way you write poems and how your words have the power to wrap themselves around others and pull them into the moment you're in. I love you swear every time you drop the soap in the shower, and how when you get shampoo in your eyes you always call me to wash it out. I love everything about you, absolutely everything there is.

"I want to wake up to you next to me every single morning for forever. I want to start a family with you. I want to have ten kids with you and I hope every single one of them looks like you because you are so beautiful. I want to grow old with you. I want to call you mine and tie myself to you in every single way possible. I want to keep learning things from you. I want to give you everything I have and more. I want to take care of you when you're sick, and kiss you even though you'll tell me not to because I'll get sick too, but then I'll tell you I don't care because kisses make everything better. I love you and want to keep you, and tell you how much you mean to me and do everything with you, because every experience I have I want you to have it too. I want to spend the rest of my life with you Draco, and the time after that too. I would like to have the privilege of being your husband, if you'll have me. Draco Malfoy, will marry me?"

Draco would have been beyond words. He would have brought his lips to Harry's and kissed him, tears falling from his eyes as he closed them.

"Yes."

Harry's heart would have radiated love and he would have smiled while he took out the intricate, white gold band and gently put it on Draco's ring finger.

"We really get forever?" Draco would have asked, through blurry vision.

"I promised, didn't I?" Harry would have said back, entwining their hands together.

"Yes," Draco would have said softy, gazing into the green that had saved him, "yes you did."

Harry was supposed to want four children but Draco said he wouldn't have more than two. They would have been twenty six years old when they went to St. Mungo's to go through the procedure of having a child. They would have taken Draco's sperm and magically extracted the genes and turned it into an egg, to which they would have paired it with Harry's sperm. Hermione and Ginny would have both offered to carry the baby but Harry and Draco would have eventually chosen Astoria Greengrass to be their surrogate. They wouldn't have wanted to know the gender of their child when asked by the Healer. Draco and Harry would have thought it was a boy, while Astoria would have smiled said that it would be a girl. Harry and Draco would have rolled their eyes at her. Their eyes would not have been rolling, but instead popping out of their heads, when Astoria gave birth to a little baby girl.

Harry would have held her in his arms, thinking about how small she was in his hands. "You will _always_ be loved, sweetheart." Harry would have promised.

Draco's first thought was that he was a father. It would have hit him right in the chest and his eyes would have become embarrassing watery. The two of them would have stood together, holding their daughter, _their daughter, _and Draco would have whispered. "Harry, it's a girl. What do we do? We're two _men_, what do we know about daughters?"

Harry would have simply smiled and replied, "We don't. And that means that we get to learn about her and all the special new things every step of the way."

They would have taken her home and placed her in a small crib in their room. "She looks like you," Draco would have whispered.

"But she'll be exactly like you," Harry would have mused back.

"Merlin help us all," Draco would have grinned and Harry would have laughed.

"She'll be beautiful," Harry would have told him.

"She already is," Draco would have said softly.

Harry would have captured his husband's lips with his own and murmured, "Let's go up to bed." And they would have made love slowly under the sheets.

Draco was supposed to fall in love with her laugh. He was supposed to sit in shock when he realised that although she looked like Harry, with his dark hair and same shaped face, she had Draco's grey eyes. He was _supposed_ to let her sleep in her own room, but couldn't bring himself to sleep away from her, so she would have ended up sprawled across Draco's chest at some point in the night. From the moment she would have smiled at him, Draco would have told Harry that he wanted another five children. Harry would have smiled and kissed him and told him that they would see how they would go, but that six children might have been a bit much.

They would have had another girl with blonde hair, piercing green eyes and an evident need for glasses. Their families would have loved their girls and they would have loved their girls too. They would have loved their family so much that having another baby wouldn't have even been discussed, simply an easy, mutual agreement. They would have finally had a boy. He would have been a dark-haired baby, with delicate fingers and had Draco's face. They would have been in the middle of sex one night, after they had put their one-year-old son, three-year-old daughter and five-year-old daughter to bed, and Draco would have said, while Harry was thrusting into him, "I want to have another baby with you." And that would have been how their fourth child, and second son, came to be. He would have had mousy brown hair and brown eyes and Draco and Harry would have wondered how on Earth their genes had produced such an unusual, wonderful human being.

Harry was supposed to laugh when their children elected the name 'daddy' for Draco and 'dad' for Harry. Harry was supposed to tease him endlessly that even their own children, who were all toddlers at the time, could even clearly pick Draco as the female in the relationship. Draco would have pursed his lips and simply replied, "It just further proves that I am prettier than you, Potter." Harry would have laughed and agreed, and then would have pinched Draco's bum as left the room.

They were supposed to watch their children go off to Hogwarts. They were supposed to watch them grow, and grow with them. They were supposed to be happy. They were supposed to still make love in their old age. They were supposed to watch their children get married and play with all their little grandchildren. They were supposed to go to bed one night together, many, many years after that first kiss at Hogwarts and whisper, "I love you," before they drifted off to sleep and never woke up. Harry's pocket watch, a gift of love that Draco had given to him all those years ago, was still supposed to keep increasing as the days went on, because their love for each other was so profound that they continued to love each other even when they were gone…

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

"You look so much like your father," Harry said in a quiet voice before he could stop himself. His eyes ran over Scorpius and they were amazed at how much of Draco he saw in front of him. Handsome face, grey eyes, similar height. The only difference was that Scorpius' hair wasn't as white blonde as Draco was and his skin tone was a fraction darker. Harry flinched internally; he had said the name without thinking and it left him feeling slapped.

"Scorpius is very different to his dad," Albus told his father strongly, it sounded like he was defending Scorpius.

Harry nodded. "Your father was one of the greatest people I knew," Harry said to both his son and Scorpius "I'm sure you would make him proud Scorpius."

Albus seemed shocked at his father's words and so did Scorpius. Scorpius actually blinked in surprise. He couldn't remember anyone of his father's old classmates saying anything positive about him save Aunt Pansy and Uncle Blaise. But ahead of that Albus felt relieved. He gave his dad a brilliant smile. Harry seemed to blink out of his trance.

"It was lovely to meet you Scorpius," Harry smiled.

"It was lovely to meet you also Mr. Potter," Scorpius replied amiably.

Harry gave a little laugh. "Please, call me Harry."

Scorpius smiled and gave a small nod. He looked at Albus, "Let's go?"

"Yeah," Albus agreed with a smile. He gave Harry a tight hug and then walked away with Scorpius.

"Albus!" Harry called.

Albus turned around to look at his father. "I'll be back in a minute," he said to Scorpius who nodded. Albus jogged up to his father.

Harry looked at his son. "I want you to know how proud I am of you Albus," Harry told him, trying to keep a straight voice, "and that I love you no matter what happens. Promise me something?" Albus nodded seriously. "Promise me that you'll love him," Harry swallowed and looked into his son's green eyes that were his own and his mother's "and that you'll _never_ let him go."

Albus didn't know what had made his father say this but hearing the sincerity in his father's tone he promised. "I promise, dad."

Harry gave his son a small smile before pulling him into a hug, "Okay."

"Thank you," Albus whispered in his father's ear.

Harry kissed his hair. "I love you," he told his son. He loosened his grip and Albus stepped back. "Owl me if you need anything," Harry said to Albus "anything at all."

"Okay dad," Albus smiled, "I'll see you at Christmas." Harry nodded and watched his son walk over to Scorpius and the two disappeared in the steam. Harry's jaw tightened. Harry then and there made himself his own promise – that he wouldn't let his son make the same mistake that he did. He promised himself that everything would be okay. The only thing was, he wasn't sure whom that last promise was directed at.

"I thought our parents didn't like each other?" Scorpius said to Albus confused.

Albus shook his head to display his equal confusion.

"I thought that too…you should hear my uncle Ron rave about him." Albus looked over at his now silent boyfriend. "Scor?"Scorpius stopped walking and looked at Albus. "I love you…and…I promise that I'll never let you go."

Albus' comment was as sudden as Scorpius' kiss. The steam thinned enough that Draco Malfoy didn't miss it. But there was enough steam to make his blood run cold; Draco froze as he could have sworn he was looking at a memory of him and Harry kissing.

He watched as the two boys walked over to him. He looked to his left; Astoria had walked further down the platform to talk to her sister Daphne and Pansy Parkinson, whose arm was hooked around a man that looked twice her age.

"Father?" Scorpius said to Draco. Draco turned to his son and Albus Potter. "This is Albus Potter…whom I'm…seeing at the moment." Scorpius held his breath as he waited for his father to say something. Draco's eyes ran over Albus. He saw Harry immediately, with tamer hair and no glasses.

"You have your father's eyes," Draco said faintly. This wasn't directed at Albus, nor was it Scorpius. Draco had just said it, possibly as a statement, Draco didn't know. Maybe he was just telling himself.

Albus gave a small smile; he didn't really know how else to respond. Draco swallowed and regained himself. "It is a pleasure to meet you Albus," Draco said. He extended a hand.

Albus reached forward and shook Draco's hand. "Likewise sir," he replied politely. Scorpius looked at his watch, 10:56am.

"We better go Al," Scorpius said. "Bye father," Scorpius said giving his dad an acknowledging smile. Draco nodded and gave Albus a smile also. As the boys walked off Draco felt his heart beat quicken.

"Scorpius!" he called out to his son. Scorpius spun around.

"I'll be back in a sec," Scorpius told Albus and he walked quickly over to his father.

"Yes father?" he asked with a hint of concern.

"Promise me two things Scorpius," Draco told his son quietly though his words seemed to amplify. Scorpius blinked, waiting for his father to continue.

"Promise me that you will not let anything or anyone stop you from loving Albus," Draco looked into his own grey eyes that were his son's, "Promise me that you will never let anything or anyone stop you from holding onto him."

Scorpius searched his father's face. He nodded instantly. "I promise f–dad."

"Good," Draco swallowed and hesitantly stepped forward. He put his arms around his son and held him close. "I love you Scorpius." Draco told him sincerely "and…I'm so proud of you."

Scorpius hugged his father tighter. "Thank you," he whispered. The train whistle blew and Scorpius pulled away.

"I will see you at Christmas," Draco told Scorpius.

"Yes," he smiled. He turned to walk away.

"Scorpius," Draco called. His son looked over at him. "Don't ever break that promise…don't ever forget it."

"I won't," Scorpius told him, and the words came from the bottom of his heart.

Draco and Harry watched as their sons boarded the train together and led the life that they never did…

**_The End._**


	21. Epilogue: The Brave Ambition

**I have uploaded chapter 20 and the epilogue at the same time, so please make sure you read the last chapter before this!**

**Epilogue**

**The Brave Ambition**

Dear Draco,

I suppose I shouldn't be writing this, but I have to. I know that you know, I know that you saw them together today as well. They look just like us don't they? I'm so proud of them; they had the courage to do what we didn't. I know Albus will be okay, that he'll be safe and happy and loved with Scorpius, and today made me realise that I wouldn't trust him with anyone else. I made him promise to love your son, and to hold onto him no matter what happens. But really, I was promising you that no matter what, I will hold onto you and love you forever.

I wouldn't have my three beautiful children if things had been different but no one knows what type of comparison you are. I would still give my life for you.

I miss you, Draco. I've always loved you. You're not something that I can forget. You touched my life and left your mark on my soul and it's not something I can forget or dilute. I'm reaching for this parchment and quill and as I write a wonder what you'll think when you read this, what'll cross your mind? I know that we agreed we would stay out of each other's lives, but it's inevitable, because we were always meant to be there. Sometimes, I just really need you.

I know we're miles apart, but it doesn't matter if you're close to me or far away from me, I'll be with you. Distance doesn't mean anything when someone means so much. You are always in my heart and I'll keep you there forever. I haven't let you go, I can't. I can't just close the door on us. I know that you feel alone sometimes, I feel alone too, but you're not on your own, ever. Don't ever doubt that. Because I know you love me and I love you too, and as long as I know that you know, I'm okay.

Maybe I'm writing to make sure that we both remember, even though we could never forget. I would give anything to have you. I would give anything to turn back time and have another hour with you. I wish for it all the time. I hope for it. I wish I could kiss you again. I know that we've been waiting for so long, but one day, when everything ends, I'll be waiting for you, with my hand waiting to grasp yours, and we'll go together. We'll go home someday.

That smile you smiled, no one new that it was me making you smile, that is was _my_ smile. But _I_ knew. And that was enough. Because it's always been enough, just the two of us. It's all I'll ever need, all I've ever wanted…all I'll ever keep living for.

We were never perfect, but that was what made us perfect. And we are the perfect pair; we're just not in the perfect situation. I get that this is may seem like a senseless question, but how have you been, love? Have you been okay? I know how hard everything can get, but it's not the end even though sometimes it may seem like it. Just close your eyes and think about us, what are we doing?

It hurts all the time. It hurts to be aware that you breathe and smile and live but I'm missing out on you. I suppose I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all though. We've spent our life keeping quite, because we're afraid. When de we get so scared? I'm sorry, sweetheart, I'm so sorry.

I miss your hair and how you speak and how your voice sounds. I miss your touch and your smile and your laugh. I'm not hopeless, but I'm half. I fell in love with you and I never fell out of that love. I guess I fall apart though too. I used to think that missing you would get easier, because I was one day closer to the day we would be together, but it doesn't, because I don't have a time frame with you.

I'm not over you. I don't care how much my heart breaks, I don't care that we're oceans apart, I don't care where you are, or what it takes, because I'll withstand it all, because we have to be what we feel, and I can only be that with you.

You will forever be in my heart, where you belong, until we are brought back together. Don't ever think otherwise. I treasure the last time I kissed you, held you, touched you, and I keep those memories with me and I hold them close.

Thank you for showing me who you are underneath and sharing your love with me. I'll wait until the end of time for you, sweetheart. And I want you to smile without that sorrow in your eyes because now you'll be in my arms for all of eternity, because it was never goodbye forever, it was only for a little while.

Love,

Harry.

o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o - O - o

Dear Harry,

I can hear your voice. Reading this, looking at the way you write your words on this parchment, I can hear you. Yes, I do know. We have both known for a while, seeing it was something entirely different though. When Scorpius told me, it was as if I had known all along, from the moment I held him in my arms for the first time; they were destined to do things right. I am happy that they do not have to hide what they feel This was meant to be, so undeniably they will love and take care of each other. It has always been this hasn't it – us. I suppose I though that if I held you tight enough that I would be able to hold on to you forever, but it does not work that way. I promise you that I have not let go, though.

I miss you too, Harry. I suppose that you cannot miss what you do not know. But I know what I am missing out on, so I miss it every day. It is as if I do not know what we would have been laughing about at, only that it was funny. And I do not know what it was exactly what you would have told me when I woke up in the morning, only that it would was beautiful. I know that I should not need to hear you tell me that you love me, but I cannot help it. I could never for get you either. Sometimes I wake up and I swear I can still feel the trace your fingertips left on my cheek. I am thinking about us, you, every time you touched my soul and how I felt in your arms was where I belonged, it is home.

I want to be in your life; I need to be in your life. Those agreements we made, we both lied, but there was no point trying to shout at each other, and you knew better; you knew me better. Needing you – it is something that happens to me all the time. Sometimes I need you so much, and I feel like I will lose control, but I cannot help how much I need you.

Harry, I could never forget you, or let you go, because of who you are, I am who I am. So I cannot forget you, because you made yourself a part of me. Spaces separate us, and it makes me feel that I lost the one thing I cherished the most, that I am in this never ending nightmare where nobody has a heart. Though, I have learnt and grown enough to know that no matter how much distance is in between us, you love me, and for me too, knowing that makes it okay.

Harry I love you. I love you with all my heart and with everything that I am. I know that it is hard for both of us and I am sorry that I make it harder for you by being so vulnerable. I have never been as strong as you are. Sometimes I think, 'It is time to go home.' But then I think about how we promised we would go home together. Take me home Harry, when you are ready, take me with you. I will wait in this lifetime, where I face my mistakes, where I am alone, where I fall apart, where I cannot touch you, where I deny my love, I will wait until it is our time.

No Harry, _I_ was never perfect, but you were. How can I ask you to rescue me when you have already saved me so many times? I am closing my eyes and we are laughing. We are waking up to each other. I can feel your warm lips on mine. I can feel your touch. I can feel your heart beat, and it is in rhythm with my own. And we are smiling, because we know that we could never find this feeling woth anyone another than each other. When I close my eyes it hurts, even though the things I see are so beautiful, because I see a different ending and it feels so right.

Please do not be sorry, don't you dare, Harry Potter. You have nothing to apologise for. All you have done love me, and that is more than anyone else has. _I_ am sorry; for losing the love we could not keep, for not being brave enough to show everyone how we felt, for not making the leap, for taking the easy choices, for the hole in your heart, for not looking past the climb to see what was beyond it, for not protecting you, for letting them tear us apart, for not finding my voice, for being afraid of everyone that would try to pull us down. I _never_ stopped loving you, Harry. I wish I could take your pain away because I know that there has not been a day for either of us where the anguish has not faded. In your love I found myself and I am forever thankful.

Thank you for seeing the seeing the good in me when I never could. Thank you for understanding when no one else did. Thank you for teaching me that I should not be looking for someone who will solve my problems, but look for someone who will never let me face them alone. Thank you for redefining love for me. Thank you for entwining your fingers in mine. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for standing by me. Thank you for healing me. Thank you for bringing happiness and hope into my life. Thank you for understanding how hard it is to face everything without you. Thank you for fixing me, and making right all the wrong. Thank you for all the times we had together. Thank you for being my inspiration. Thank you for the memories. Thank you for telling me the truth. Thank you for taking away the sadness. Thank you for letting me be who I am and thank you for showing me that that person is one to be proud of. Thank you for making my world a better place. Thank you for being with me every step of the way. Because of your love I am everything I am, I am who I want to be.

I am smiling, because of the one day soon, because of you, because you love me and I you. So I will say goodbye, for now, until we begin our eternity together in each other's embrace, with this: I wish history was rewritten so we could have the life we envision and that would be my brave ambition.

Yours,

Draco.


	22. Author's Notes

Hi everyone!

I thought I would let you all know that I am leaving for 5 months because I am going on an exchange to Europe, so I won't be writing, as I will be trying to use as little English as possible. Also, I have a sequel in mind. HOWEVER, I am not sure if I will pursue it when I get back. But if I do, here is my idea, and if you have any to add, now is the time so I have 5 months to let it stew over in my head:

**The Cunning Nerve:** while we close the book of Harry and Draco's story, we open up Albus and Scorpius'. This story goes back to the beginning of the young boys' fifth year at Hogwarts and how they came to realize who they were, that they were meant for one another and why. Much more lighthearted than The Brave Ambition, the new Gryffindor and Slytherin create their own tale with friends, hardships, fun, love and happy times.

So, just before I rush off to start packing, I just wanted to say thank you. I look back at the first few chapters and the last and I now realise how much I have changed in my writing and you all have given me that opportunity to grow and expand my knowledge. Thank you for being patient with me and for all the amazing, amazing, amazing reviews that make me smile. Thank you to all the friends I have made and for all the time you make me laugh. Thank you for sticking with Harry and Draco until the end and I hope you understand why the ending had to be the way it was; it's just the way it was meant to be. I actually cannot express to you enough how sensational this whole thing has been. You guys are the Harry to my Draco and the Albus to my Scorpius, I love you!

Also, if you would like a reply to any reviews, I'm available until tomorrow morning (roughly about 26 hours from now) and then I'm off, but I'll try and reply as soon as I can if I find some free wifi! And just quickly, if you have any story suggestions or prompts, PM me! In regards to the smut aspect of things, I've added in a kinklist below of what I will write, won't right, and might write

(REFERENCE LIST for Brave Ambition:

_Robert Brault, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Swedish Proverb, Norman Vincent Peale, Eleanor Roosevelt, Buddah, Doug Firebaugh, Mark Twain, Danny Kaye, Swami Sivananda, Marcus Aurelius Antonius, Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, Melissa Jones, Alana Pozzebon, Ferris Beuller, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Lubna Azmi, Lillian Dickson, Jim Rohn, William Shakespeare, Albus Dumbledore, Harun Yahya, British Ministry of Information, David Borenstein, Ginny Weasley, Dr. Seuss, Audrey Hepburn, Twilight, Harry Potter, Facebook, Tumblr, my mum, Matilda Elliot, Searchquotes, Courtney Kuchta, Chris brown, Owl City, One Direction, Rihanna, Chritina Perri, Pink, Lady Gaga, Kelly Clarkson, Whitney Houston, Glee, The Pretenders, Alexis Jordan, Fleetwood Mac, Madonna, Jason Mraz, Colbie Caillat, Bruno Mars, Dirty Dancing, Elvis, Harry Nelson, The Veronicas, Snow Patrol, Patrick Swayze, Fly Away Home, Jeff Buckley, Maroon 5, Lion King, Benny Mardones, Andrea Bocelli, Adam Lambert, Shannon Nole, Katy Perry, Caitlin Stacy, Neighbours, Titanic, Celine Dion, Eric Carmen, Sia, David Guetta, Gotye, Kimbra, Nickleback, The Fray, Cascada, Usher, Miley Cirus, Lady Antebellum, Drake, Ed Sheeran, Chinese proverb._)

**KINKTAGS:**

**KINK!TAGS**

**YES:**

_AU

_ot5

_hurt/comfort

_dirtytalk

_underage

_roughsex

_song!fic

_blowjobs

_jealous

_angst

_dubcon

_firsttime

_d/s

_agegap

_publicsex

_masturbation

_voyeurism

_toys

_rimming

_exhibitionism

_bodyworship

_(light)bondage

_comeplay

_handcuffs

_tickling

_language!kink

_pool/hottub

_bathsex

_cockblocking

_69

_kissing

_drunksex

_slut!kink

_size!kink

_orgasmdenial

_fluff

_overstimulation

_fingering

_cuddling

_angry!sex

_gangbang

_facial

_prostitution

_marking

_unrequitedfeelings

_hairpulling

_ust

_drysex

_biting

_foodsex

_somnophilia

_pain!kink

_handjob

_wallsex

_marriage

_shotgunning

_showersex

_oralfixation

_nippleplay

_multipleorgasm

_phonesex

_seduction

_grinding

_orgy

_cunnilingus

_glasses

_carsex

_circlejerk

_dirtypictures

_massage

_temperatureplay

_wetdreams

_intercruralsex

_blushing

_sexaddiction

_vocal!kink

_outside!pov

_squirting

_sexpollen

_licking

_roadtrip

_abuse (not as main pairing)

_rape (not as main pairing)

**NO:**

heterosexual smut in general

_genderswap

_crossdressing

_h/c bondage

_watersports

_infidelity

_breathplay

_twincest

_humiliation

_violence

_doublepenetration

_fisting

_domesticity

_hair!kink

_animalplay

_crossover

_eatingdisorder

_selfharm

_bloodplay

_transgenderism

_lapdancing

_period!sex

_autofelliato

_kidnapping

_fuckordie

_virginitysacrifice

_gunplay

_felching

_pegging

_selfcest

_femenisation

_docking

_waxplay

_de-aging

_sexualdisfunction

**MAYBE:**

_druguse

_spanking

_m-preg

_sextape

_smoking

_webcam

_roleplay

_stripping

_blindfolds

_pregnancysex

_footjob

_sexslave

_collaring

_sweat!kink

_dancing

_noncon

_threesome

_gagging


	23. The Cunning Nerve

Hello all :)

I just thought I'd let you know that I've begun writing the sequel to TBA. It is called The Cunning Nerve and I've just updated the prologue. It has also be updated to my AO3 (Archive of our own) account, which is also under this pen name.

Love and kisses xxxxx


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